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Very well, where do I begin?

My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet.

My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament.

My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds - pretty standard, really. At the age of twelve, I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles.

There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum... it's breathtaking. I highly suggest you try it.

Most Recent Posts

...what in...

The HELL happened while I was away?

Nah, we mostly just plan to tweet mean things about the RPG on Twitter and weigh in on trivial celebrity news.
Yeah, well. I've only got one thing to say in my defense.

The Flash, as played by Sep
Superman, as played by AndyC
And fuck it because there's under an hour to go and nobody's gonna beat it...
The Fantastic Four, as played by Morden Man

Somehow a birthday turned into two days of my time. It's a birthday, not a week! Who the Hell does my wife think she is, Dennis Rodman?!


Goddammit, I tell you not to fall for Dennis Rodman, and you go and marry him.
.....

I was literally only referencing the dog. And now I can't not pun.

DAMN YOU!
Nah, they've been better written :P


Annnd... now I have to deal with the crippling paranoia that every competing app has secretly been @Inkarnate this entire time.
@Master Bruce commitment. But what if some one summits a better sheet a second before the deadline, I won't have time to fight


Then that person will have effectively used speed against you, and therefore proven themselves unbeatable as The Flash.

No, but seriously, I doubt you'll have anyone do that. Your app only has a few hours to go and Iris as The Flash is, admittedly, a concept that's hard to beat in terms of originality.
By the time my approval or denial comes through I shoulder be asleep


Could be worse. You could be @Eddie Brock, who's CS isn't up for review until 2 in the goddamn morning where I live. (Thanks, Eddie! )
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