Shinny
FaithfulMuse
CitrusArms
Lime
Villamvihar
Shadow Dragon
twave
BrokenPromise
Noctis
Chapter Nine-
Gotta Catch 'Em All!
Gotta Catch 'Em All!
Part Five- Kurai Majokko, The Dark Magical Girls!
Oh, look, another arcade! I'm sure this will go a lot better than the last time I visited one of these places! (nervous laughter)
-Kate
On a particular stretch of coastline, on a particular universe’s version of Japan, could be found a rather generic metropolis. Beside it, was an equally generic suburb, although this particular suburb, Hibusa Town, was a bit more shadowed and somber than most. It was home to the Detention Club, a group of Dark Magical Girls under the leadership of Rei “Schrade” Ishiko, who spent their evenings culling the streets of the amorphous amalgamations of negative emotions known as Miseria. Hibusa Town also had an arcade, and it was there, that Kate was waiting for her subject to appear.
After her surprisingly enjoyable encounter with Oros the Oracle, the photographer couldn’t help but get the ominous feeling that the next Oros on her list would more than make up for Morowa’s welcome lack of unpleasantness. Indeed, the Oros of this universe was the one Kate was dreading interacting with the most, yet, there was still a chance such a meeting wouldn’t even need to take place, and it was this fragile hope that the photographer clung to as she watched her subject step into view beyond the arcade’s front window…
There she is… Kate thought to herself as she observed an excitedly bouncing goth girl through her camera’s viewfinder. And it looks like she’s already living up to her name…
Suki “Oros the Joyful” Oyama was almost without a doubt the most unpleasant Oros Kate had yet to encounter, taking the already lustful, perverted, handsy, personal-space-invading tendencies of an average Oros and cranking them all up to eleven. Thus, to avoid an even more traumatic reiteration of her last arcade encounter with an Oros, the diminutive photographer had chosen to hide herself in a darkened corner of the arcade and surreptitiously photograph her subject while peeking around the corner of an ancient Lunar Lander machine. Triple checking to ensure her flash was off, Kate focused on Suki, pressed down on the shutter button, and then…
Someone tapped her on the shoulder.
“Gah!” Kate yelped in shock, before whirling around to find an impassive, dark-haired girl. “W-Where the heck did you come from?!” It was bad enough that someone had found her hiding spot and been able to sneak up on her completely unnoticed, but far worse was the fact that they had completely ruined her shot of Suki, something that Kate doubted was a simple coincidence…
Before the girl could respond, her phone buzzed, alerting her to the fact that it had just received a voice mail. It took the strange girl several seconds to finally react, slowly pulling out her phone to listen to the message with a blank look on her face. As the message began to play, the girl finally spoke. ”Behind you.”
“Wha…?” Kate began, whipping her head around to see if Suki had moved, before turning to look back at the weird girl when she realized the perky goth was still bouncing in place. “Wait… You mean you’ve been hiding back here this whole time?” the photographer asked, her voice and visage filled with confusion.
Who the fuck even is this girl…?
Kate wouldn’t see it, but as soon as she looked away, Suki stopped her bouncing and walked out of view. Then her voice poured through the phone.
”Hey Rainbow! I’m already at the Yen Dungeon, but I’ve heard some enticing rumors and I wanted to share them with you since this isn’t going to be strictly for playing games.” She giggled. ”Another magical girl came to town, but this time it’s a light girl. She’s a foreign beauty named Kate Carson. She’s a brunette with hair that cradles her head like a helmet. It’s neck length with just a few rebellious strands sticking out here and there. Her eyes look like pretty blue sapphires that glisten like the ocean, with marble white skin that’s free of blemishes. She also wears a red blazer with a white hood, and she’s got a black undershirt that’s cut just low enough for her collar bones to peek out of. She’s sixteen, but looks younger because she’s on the short side and is as flat as you are. Oh but Rainbow, when she transforms, she’sinapristinewhiteweddingdressandicantevenqueeeeeeeeeee ~” At this part of the call one would be forgiven if they thought a pig had decided to squeal into Oros’s phone. ”And the best part? She’s a photographer, and she’s planning on taking a picture of me. Even though she’s a light girl and a little shy, I guess she has a perverted side, so she takes pictures of girls she likes. I have it on good authority that she’s going to try and take a picture of me at the Yen Dungeon. She simply can’t leave without that photo. In fact, she’s so into the photography thing that she has a custom camera for it. I think it’s ‘Nickin’ this’ brand or something? Point is Rainbow, this could be my big chance! So if you see a girl with that description, just call me.” The phone beeped again. Apparently Oros sent out another message while “Rainbow” was listening to this one. ”Oh! I got a better idea! I just saw Mr Shen leave the Yen Dungeon. I’m going to sneak out back and look at everything through the surveillance system. If you see her enter the arcade, just stall her and give her the ol’ Oros the Joyful greeting!”
The message ended. While a voice asked if Rainbow wanted to save or delete the messages, a camera’s electric motor hummed as it looked straight at their positions.
What. The. Fuck?
With each new word of Suki’s message, Kate’s eyes had widened ever larger and her “marble white skin” had grown increasingly paler, even as her body began to shudder in horror.
How the fuck does she know all that about me?! the photographer screamed internally. No one should even know I’m here! Unless…
Yes, she realized with dreadful certainty, it had to be his doing. At that very moment, she resolved to give the druid a flying kick to the nuts the next time they crossed paths. But that was something for future Kate to take delight in. Right now, she had more immediate concerns, like the fact that the girl before her was obviously Suki’s partner, Tsubomi, and that Suki herself, or rather, Oros the Joyful, would soon be joining them…
“Alright, fine,” she sighed in weary resignation. “Let’s just get this over with. But just to clarify,” she added. “I’m not a ‘light girl’, or a pervert. I’m just an ordinary freelance photographer who was hired to take a picture. That’s all. So don’t get any crazy ideas, okay?”
As Kate began explaining her totally not a pervert status, Tsubomi seemed to finally register the message. She clicked to save it, and lazily looked back up from her phone to look at Kate. ”Okay.”
Several seconds passed. ”Who hired you? Why do they want a picture?”
“I was hired by my friend, Nikki,” Kate replied, sounding almost as tired and done with life as Tsubomi did. “She’s a fan of magical girls, and Suki caught her attention,” she explained, hoping it would be sufficient to mollify this strange girl’s concerns.
And speaking of concerns, what little peace that may have existed within the arcade vanished as both girls could hear someone taking slow, labored breaths. Oros the Joyful peaked out from behind an arcade machine the two were “hiding” behind with a giant smile. Even the folks at glasgow couldn’t smile like that. She stepped totally into view and looked down at Kate as if she was desert after an especially decadent meal.
”Ah! I see you overheard my conversation. That wasn’t really meant for you, I just talk to my friends in a particular way.” She poked her chest with all of her fingers. ”I’m the one you’re looking for. I had no idea I had a secret admirer. Do you think Nikki would like to meet me? Maybe if you brought me back with you and were like ‘I got you a picture, but look what else I got?’ And then I could pop out of her birthday cake and she’d cry tears of joy.”
Kate couldn’t help but cringe at Oros the Joyful’s sudden appearance, but she still managed to retain most of her composure.
“Well, first off, Nikki’s kinda socially awkward,” the photographer explained, holding up a finger for emphasis. “And second,” she added, holding up another finger. “She can get extremely violent, so I don’t really think havin’ ya show up to surprise her would be a particularly good idea.”
”In other words, she’s the opposite of you.” Oros spread her hands and stepped closer to Kate. ”Which is just as well! Honestly, I have a hard time picturing someone much cuter than you are! What I was told truly does not compare to what I see. Oh, I actually feel inspired.” She cleared her throat. ”Your hair is like my morning coffee: It’s dark in color, has a nice aroma, and I can’t wait to press my lips against it!”
Tsubomi, for her part, stood almost as still as a statue as Suki appeared and began her barely-restrained activities. As the other girl began to give her compliments, Tsubomi put her phone away. ”No haiku, this time.”
Kate visibly recoiled when Oros started talking about kissing her hair. “Uh, t-that’s a nice, um, poem…?” the photographer replied with a nervous chuckle. “But I’m not really into girls that way, so, uh, I think whoever told you about me might’ve had the wrong idea,” she added, holding up her hands in a probably feeble effort to halt Oros’s advance. “S-So, um, I-I’ll just take that picture now and be on my way…”
”Oh you can take as many pictures as you want. But first you’ve gotta transform!” She was starting to pant like a dog. ”It’s not every day we get a new magical girl in town! Least of all one that doesn’t run away as soon as I show up!”
Tsubomi nodded, slowly but surely, in camaraderie with her partner. ”That’s rare.”
“Not like I had much choice…” Kate muttered. A part of her was screaming to just snap a quick picture and run away as fast as she could, but memories of Morowa’s request to try and treat her next two subjects with kindness entered her mind unbidden, forcing her to rethink that course of action. Plus, even if she did try to run, she doubted she’d manage to get very far… “Okay, look, I absolutely hate transforming, but if indulging your sick fetish is the only way I can get a picture, then fine, I’ll do it,” the photographer conceded with a tired sigh. “But first, I want you to promise me you’ll stick to staring. No touching,” she added, holding up a finger for emphasis. “Second, I’m only gonna stay transformed long enough to take the picture, then I’m changin’ right back, so try not to blink.”
”Not even hand holding?!”
“No touching,” Kate reiterated in a flat deadpan.
”B-but I wanted to do some marriage roleplay!” She pouted. ”But okay…”
”... Should Suki get a picture too?”
As quick as it had left, Oros’s smile returned. ”That’s a great idea!” She reached under Tsubomi’s armpits and picked her up like she were a cat. She then swapped places with Tsubomi before setting her back down again. ”Here, you can take a picture with this.” she handed Tsubomi one of her cellphones before looking back at Kate. ”You’d better be smiling when She takes your picture…” She straightened out her posture. ”I guess there’s no reason to hesitate. Show us what you’re made of!”
After sighing and rolling her eyes in exasperation, Kate muttered, “Picture perfect.” There was a swirling of mystical energies, followed by a bright flash. When it faded, the photographer was wearing an overwhelmingly elaborate and comically impractical wedding dress, while her hair had gone from black to blonde, and lengthened to such a degree that it rivaled even Rapunzel’s famous tresses. Looking up at Tsubomi, the blushing bride smiled as best as she could under the circumstances and, once the picture had been taken, she turned to give Suki a weary stare. “You happy now?” she asked, her annoyance clear in her voice.
But Suki wasn’t really in a position to answer Kate. Sure, she was there physically. The blood witch was on her knees with her hands folded together, mouth agape, as if she had just heard the voice of god. Her eyes continued to dilate the longer she looked at Kate. Noises were coming out of Oros’s throat, but they failed to convey anything in a language anyone present could understand. While she babbled, her skin started to change color. Suki’s flesh was so red that it was indistinguishable from her blood soaked dress. The temperature difference between her body and the environment was so great that it caused a fog to form around her. Her jaw swung all the way open and she blasted steam into the air, whistling like a boiling kettle. She disappeared behind a veil of white smoke.
Then, without much warning, Oros’s torso rose out of the smoke. Her shrinking irises were replaced with heart eyes. ”Oh Kate, happy does not even begin to describe it! I thought you were lovely before, but seeing my white princess in uniform Has me all-” Her eyes frantically darted all over Kate. ”Your flaxen hair shimmers like fields of wheat, the luster of your skin is only matched by the gold you wear, And those ribbons…. Gah!” Something in Suki’s nose ruptured, and a high pressure stream of blood shot out of her nose. She sank back to her knees with a blissful smile on her face, even as her blood ran down her face.
”That’s a really good one.” Tsubomi finally said. ”She doesn’t react that way to just anyone.”
“Gah!” Kate yelped as she rapidly crawled backwards after a torrent of blood shot from Suki’s nose with all the force of a pressure hose. “G-Glad you enjoyed it,” she muttered once she’d gotten a safe distance away. “Now, mind if I take that snapshot?” the photographer asked, holding up her much more ornate golden, jewel covered, camera. “I’d ask if you wanted to get cleaned up first, but since you’re a blood witch and all, I think it’s fine if I photograph you as-is,” she added with a wry smirk.
”Sure!” In the next moment, Oros the Joyful looked no worse for wear than she had prior to witnessing Kate’s transformation. ”Just let me do the pose!” And with that, she hopped to her feet and spread her legs. She had one hand on her hip and her other was making a sideways peace sign right beside her eye. It would have looked just like the pose sailor moon uses if it weren’t for the bloody tendrils raised over her head. ”Ta-da!”
Rising to her feet as well, Kate raised her camera, took careful aim, and…
*SNAP!*
“Okay, that should do it,” the photographer declared with an approving nod as she looked over her camera’s display. “Guess I’ll be headin’ out now,” she added, while shifting back to her mundane appearance. “Uh, have fun playin’ games, or whatever.”
”Yea, playin’ games…” The corners of Oros’s lips stretched as she squinted her eyes. ”You know how you’re going to leave and never come back again? I was thinking we should do something a little crazy to remember our fateful encounter.” She started to walk towards Kate.
Of course you were…
“What did you have in mind?” Kate asked wearily as she slowly backed away from the blood witch.
”Somehow, I think you already know!” With laughter that could belong to a cherub or an imp, Oros sprinted towards Kate, arms spread, eyes filled with hearts. Her tongue hung out of her mouth like she was a dog that stuck their head out of a moving vehicle.
Eyes going wide in horror, Kate dodged to the side, placing a nearby arcade machine between herself and the slobbering blood witch, before frantically trying to find the best escape route.
“Shitshitshitshitshit!” the photographer swore as she darted between the blocky arcade cabinets, her slight form able to squeeze through gaps impassable for an average-sized person. Yet, for all her “evasive maneuvers”, Oros remained hard on her heels (in more ways than one). “I thought we agreed to no touching!” Kate called behind her as she continued her flight.
”One yes after a thousand nos is still a yes!” Oros chased Kate through the arcade from the ceiling. Bright red spider legs dug into the ceiling and skittered after the photographer like a spider. Suki’s shadow loomed in the corners of Kate’s vision wherever she went.
Damn it, I shoulda Freeze Framed that crazy bitch when I had the chance, even if it meant havin’ to deal with her creepy pal, ‘cause anything’s better than this!
Kate was about to squeeze between another pair of arcade cabinets when she got stuck. Or more specifically, a bloody tendril coiled around her ankle. The bloodwitch dropped to the ground and touched her fingers together. ”Kate! You’re stuck! I know you’re nervous, but I’m not going to do anything lewd, okay? Not right away at least. I’m just going to pull you out, so don’t struggle too much.” Not that Kate could fight back if she wanted to. And if she could, she’d need to produce something fairly strong to break Oros out of her trance. A second tendril coiled around Kate’s waist and pulled her out from the arcade machines and into Oros’s arms. ”I’m not going to do anything that you don’t want me to do, okay? So just take a deep breath.” She placed her chin on Kate’s shoulder. ”Nobody wants to hurt you.”
Although her natural instinct was to panic and try to escape, Kate knew that it was beyond pointless, and so she resigned herself to being dragged into Oros’s waiting arms. “You’ll forgive me if I call bullshit,” the photographer muttered, even as she tried not to cringe too hard at the blood witch’s close proximity.
”If I end up doing something lewd, it’s going to be because you want it to happen!” With a hop, Oros landed on a seat for a driving game. A silent demo played on screen while it waited for its next player. ”But I’m fine just sitting like this with you in my lap.” Largely because regardless of how repulsive someone found Oros, regardless of their common decency, loyalty to other partners, sexual preference, or anything else that might get in the way, someone touching Oros would eventually become infatuated with her. For a normal human this took a few seconds, but magical girls could resist the effect for much longer. A kiss would speed the process up, but Kate wasn’t struggling, and there was no reason to rush what was Oros’s favorite part of meeting light girls.
“Gah!” Kate yelped as she was abruptly dragged into a game booth. However, although she was still in unnervingly close proximity to Oros (and more precisely, sitting on her lap), the photographer did her best to distract herself by focusing on the racing game’s demo screen. Now that she thought about it, this might not actually be all that bad. If all she had to do was sit here and watch a game being played, it would actually be less bothersome than what Lada had done to poor…
”... You said no touching…” Tsubomi, finally reacting to Kate’s comment as she began fleeing a moment ago, spoke aloud as her head lolled towards where Kate was just grabbed from.
”Eh?” Oros looked at Tsubomi out of the corner of her eye. ”I-I mean she did say no touching, b-b-b-b-but she wasn’t very specific! I mean, she was clearly talking about her magical girl form! And I did! I kept my hands to myself! At great harm to myself! Restraining myself always causes nose bleeds!” She pointed at her nose. ”You saw it, right? A-and Kate is free to change her mind. Sitting here with me isn’t so bad, is it, babe?”
“On a scale of one to ten, I’d have to say it’s a negative fifteen,” Kate deadpanned. “And I meant both forms,” she clarified pointedly. “Though I wouldn’t expect you to abide by it either way,” she added with a tired sigh.
Oros nodded. ”Well, I have a feeling we’ll move up to negative ten before long!”
”Suki, you’re cheating.” Tsubomi wasn’t particularly concerned, not that she ever was, but Oros had gotten in trouble with the boss before for doing stuff like this, at least in a public place.
”Cheating?” She raised an eyebrow. ”This girl has no respect for us. If she could take a picture of me without my permission, she’d have done it! Why should I honor a deal made with someone like that?” She hugged Kate tighter. ”It doesn’t sound like this is a surprise for her either. Why don’t I become the freak she thinks I am?”
Suki, Oros, in all her infinite wisdom had decided to try to make an emotional appeal to her apathetic empath of a partner. It took a few seconds for her to process the question, but when she did… ”Boss said to tell Earthshaker when you do this. She’ll get mad at you.”
”Is that right?” There was disbelief in her voice. ”Well, I never cared about what any of them thought…” She looked at Kate. Oros mouthed something that even she couldn’t hear before patting her head. Then her arm moved away and her tendril placed Kate on the ground. Oros looked off into the distance without making eye contact with anyone.
“W-Wha…?” was all Kate could stammer as Oros released her. “Well, that was unexpected…” she mumbled as she brushed herself off. She was still in a bit of a daze, and at first, she wondered if she wasn’t just hallucinating things. Yet, as seconds passed, the photographer realized Oros’s creepy pal actually had managed to talk the blood witch into letting her go. “Uh, thanks for the help,” she told Tsubomi with an awkward smile.
Truthfully, Tsubomi didn’t tend to act compassionate when she wasn’t in her magical form, but for the sake of making sure Suki didn’t do something else she’d get in trouble for, she placed a hand on her shoulder. ”Maybe she’ll stay around for a meal… If you keep your hands off?”
Although Kate desperately wanted to flee the arcade as fast as possible, she had promised Morowa she’d make an effort to be nice to Suki, and she did feel indebted to Tsubomi for her recent help…
“Y-Yeah, fine,” she conceded. “W-We can hang out some more, and even get some food, just as long as you don’t make it weird.”
”Well, I’m not hungry.” Oros brushed Tsubomi’s hand off of her shoulder before hopping off of the seat. She fished a cigarette out of the same magical place all magical girls seemed to keep their belongings, followed by a zippo lighter that looked like the ace of hearts. While she walked, she slipped the cigarette between her lips and lit it up. She didn’t look back, not even when she pushed her way through the front door.
“Welp, I tried bein’ nice,” Kate said with a shrug as she watched Oros depart. “Not my fault she’s such a fuckin’ pervert…” the photographer added under her breath.
”...” Tsubomi expected Suki to jump at the idea to cook for Kate, but this was fine too. She shrugged, waved at Kate, and followed after her partner.
As she watched the strange pair depart, Kate gave voice to a sigh of relief. While a (very) small part of her might have felt bad about the way things had ended, a far larger part was just glad her interaction with Oros the Joyful was finally over. It had also, by some twisted miracle, and despite the druid’s best efforts, actually been less embarrassingly uncomfortable than her meeting with Lada had been.
What were the odds?
Not wanting to chance crossing paths with Suki again, Kate made her way to the arcade’s rear exit and surreptitiously snuck into the back alley beyond. She was just about to make her departure, when the sound of a loud *VOP!* suddenly drew her attention to a spot further down the alley. There, amidst a rapidly dissipating swirl of shimmering golden particles, was a strange machine. It was composed of several concentric, spinning circles, arranged in a way that called to mind a gyroscope, and, sitting in a small, cushioned chair at its center, and attired in almost comically dapper fashion, was an equally small… dog?
“Holy shit…” Kate murmured. “Parr?!”
“Miss Kate!” the comical canine exclaimed, leaping out of his still-spinning contraption and rushing over to the stunned photographer, his tail rapidly wagging in delight. “Oh, how it brings me such joy to be greeted by a familiar face after so very great a time!”
“It’s good to see you again, too, pal,” Kate replied with an amused chuckle. “It sure has been a while.”
“It has indeed!” Parr agreed, nodding his head. “But whatever are you doing here?” he inquired. “According to my instruments, this isn’t my home universe, so… Goodness me! Have you become lost in the myriad reality plenums of the multiverse as well?!”
“Not exactly,” Kate replied with an awkward grin. “You know how much of a traveler I am,” she added. “I was just here for a quick photo op. In fact, I was gettin’ ready to leave when you showed up.”
“My goodness!” Parr exclaimed. “What a most splendid stroke of good fortune! If you possess the ability to navigate the paths between plenums, then might I beg your assistance in pointing me in the direction of my home universe? You see,” he continued. “After creating the cross-world conveyance behind me, I suffered quite the catastrophic setback, when what was to be a routine test run sent me spiraling off into the uncharted depths of the multiverse! Hopelessly lost in the infinite infinities, I had begun to despair of ever returning home, but, now, at long last, my path has crossed with a dear friend capable of aiding my own dreadfully deficient efforts! Oh joyous day!”
”... Oh, one of them won the game.” a familiar voice observed. ”Do you know each other?”
Whirling around, Kate was greeted with the sight of Suki and Tsubomi entering the alley, and her heart sank.
“Great… Of fucking course you two would follow me back here…” Kate muttered. “Yeah,” the photographer added in a louder voice. “This is Parr,” she introduced, gesturing to the dapper dog. “He’s an old friend.”
Oros looked at Parr, then back at Tsubomi as she walked closer to the dapper hound. Once she was in front of Parr, she squatted down and looked him over. "An old friend, eh?” she folded her arms. "You’re pretty lucky Mr Parr. I only met Kate today and I can tell she’s something special.” She stood back up and rubbed the back of her head. "So um, sorry for earlier.” She nodded at Kate. "It’s just been a rough week, and I was really excited to meet you. If you guys want, I can cook us something. Talking over a meal might make for better ambience than the back of an arcade.” She rubbed the back of her head. "Also, can I pet Parr? Are you cool with pets?”
“Oh, yes,” Parr replied. “Such a kindness would be most appreciated, my dear young lady!” he added, wagging his tail eager anticipation. “As would your generous offer of a personally cooked meal! Indeed, having an amiable chat with friends new and old, while enjoying what I am certain shall be a most marvelous repast, would serve as a most superlative way to celebrate both my reunion with Miss Kate, and my long-awaited return home! Oh, but goodness me!” he exclaimed a moment later. “I do believe we have yet to be formally introduced! As Miss Kate has already told you, I am Parrthineas E. Doxxon The First, or Parr, for short,” he continued, removing his hat and giving a small bow of his head. “Now then, how might I address you lovely young ladies?” he inquired.
Oros paused. "Oh right! Uh, when I’m working, it’s Oros the Joyful. But Joy or Oros works too!” She extended one of her fingers and stroked the bridge of his muzzle. "And that’s Tsubomi behind me. ” Her fingers slipped between his eyes as she started to pet the back of his head. "She’s kind of weird, but she’s okay. Say hello, Tsubomi!”
Tsubomi waved at the dog. ”Hi, doggy. How much was the… pot? The pot, anyway? Must’ve been good to get all… this?”
“I do apologize, Miss Tsubomi,” Parr replied. “But I am afraid that I am completely at a loss as to what you mean. Please, what is this ‘pot’ you refer to?”
Meanwhile, Kate was simply watching the proceedings with the look of someone who was dying a little more inside with each passing second. Finally, she spoke up. “Fine, apology accepted,” she told Oros with a tired sigh. “And I guess we can have some food,” the photographer added. “But wouldn’t it be easier to just get some pizza back at the arcade?” she asked, pointing her thumb at the building in question.
"Eh?” Suki raised an eyebrow. "As cute as Parr is, I don’t think Mr Shen would approve of a dog being in his establishment, regardless of how good their manners were. Also, everything is made with processed meats and salt, which isn’t good for a dog’s tummy.” She placed her hands on her hips. "When I make food for Tsubomi we gather around a picnic area. It’s well lit, secluded, nobody’s going to bother us and the food will get made on the spot with fresh ingredients.” She sighed. "I know you have your guard up, but trust me. I’m not trying to guide you into my super sexy dungeon to make you do lewd things.” She looked off to the side. "I wonder if there’s a world where I even have a super sexy dungeon… Anyway, the prices are high too. I don’t recommend it.”
“Well, obviously I wasn’t thinking of bringing Parr inside,” Kate replied with a dramatic eye roll. “I was thinking we could get the pizza and eat it out here. I mean, he’s also got this machine of his, and I doubt he’d wanna just leave it here unattended,” she added.
“Oh, not to worry!” Parr reassured her. “My Syllogismobile is fully capable of subspace mass conversion for ease of storage!” To demonstrate, he tapped a button on his wristwatch, and the strange machine swiftly shrank down to the size of a marble, which was then picked up and placed into a vest pocket. “Quite convenient, wouldn’t you say?”
“Okaaay…” Kate sighed in clear exasperation. “Then I guess we’ll be dining at Suki’s, or rather, Oros’s picnic tables. I’m sure your food won’t be highly toxic or do anything crazy like turn into a monster and try to eat me,” the photographer added pointedly as she turned to give the blood witch a “I’m so done with this” expression.
"Not since I revamped the recipe!” Oros reassured Kate with a smile.
”Didn’t you win a poker game?” Tsubomi finally responded to Parr’s question. Was he not one of the dogs in that painting?
“Hmmm… I do not recall ever playing a game of that name in my life,” Parr replied after a moment’s thought. “Perhaps you have me confused with someone else. Or perhaps it is a game I shall play in the future, and news of my upcoming victory has reached even here!” he added, seeming quite thrilled by the possibility.
Well, regardless of Parr not being famous like she thought, Tsubomi decided it was best to get going before getting caught up in the meal. She walked over to Suki with her trademark slow steps and tapped her on the shoulder, holding out Suki’s phone that she had taken the picture with. As soon as she took it, Tsubomi spoke up. ”Sorry to have made you upset.” And with that, she departed for her home, not looking back at the girls and dog.
The phone felt heavy in Suki’s hand. She found herself biting her lip as she watched Tsubomi leave the alley and turn out of sight. She continued to stare in the direction she had left in before her eyes moved to her phone. With a snort, she put the phone away without looking at the pictures. "Like I said, weird.” Oros kicked a stone. "Um, yea, this way…”
…
…
…
The “picnic area” turned out to actually be nothing more than a brick slab patio behind a group home on the outskirts of town, surrounded by dense woodland. Four wooden picnic tables were scattered about it, and, upon arriving, Parr and Kate took a seat at the closest one. "I wasn’t expecting anyone to show up today, heh. But dinner shouldn’t be long,” Oros told them. "Do you guys want anything to drink? We’ve got all kinds of juices, and some seltzer. There’s milk too. I think there’s a few beers left, but someone might have had them this evening.”
“I would very much like some apple juice, if you have it,” Parr spoke up from where he sat opposite Kate.
“I guess I’ll have some lemonade,” Kate added in a tired deadpan. “So, uh, what exactly are you making us, anyway?” she asked.
"Well, there’s this recipe I typically make. It’s just sort of a concoction of my favorite foods. But uh, you know, I’m going to change the recipe a little bit so that everyone can enjoy it.” She rubbed her arm. "So um, I’ll be back shortly. With the drinks.” She excused herself with a bow.
There’s no way this can end well… Kate thought to herself glumly as she watched Oros enter the building, before turning her attention to Parr in an attempt to focus her mind on something, anything, other than the impending “meal”.
“So, uh, ya said ya couldn’t get back home?” Kate asked.
“Yes, that is quite correct,” Parr confirmed with a nod. “Thus, if you would be kind enough to provide me with its trans-plenumic coordinates, I would be most appreciative!”
“Well, I could do that,” Kate replied. “But ya said that contraption ya made was a Syllogismobile, right? I’m not exactly an expert, but don’t those things work by just focusing on your destination?”
“They do, indeed. Although there are a multitude of high-order mathematical equations involved as well,” Parr explained.
“So, why don’t ya just do that then?” Kate asked. “Y’know, just think of home strongly enough and ‘bam!’, you’re there, just like Dorothy’s slippers.”
“My goodness, Miss Kate!” Parr exclaimed, his eyes going wide. “What a positively ingenious idea!”
“I have my moments,” Kate said with an amused grin.
“I’m afraid I don’t know of this ‘Dorothy’ person,” Parr continued. “But simply employing fond memories of home to attune myself to its plenumic frequency is actually a most viable solution to my current predicament! Indeed, it’s now so painfully obvious that I don’t know why I didn’t think of it myself!”
“You probably would have figured it out eventually,” Kate reassured him.
“Oh, I simply cannot thank you enough, Miss Kate!” Parr gushed, taking one of her hands with both of his paws. “I am truly in your debt! If there’s anything I can do to repay this great kindness, you need only say the word!”
“Can you get me out of this meal?” Kate muttered.
A moment later, the door to the kitchen swung open and Suki (now in her mundane appearance) marched over to the picnic table. She set the drinks down in front of her guests and, after eyeing them for a second, swapped them. She had delivered them to the wrong recipient initially. "You guys want ice? I mean, the drinks are cold, just…” She squeezed her wrist.
“Uh, sure?” Kate replied with a lopsided frown.
“Oh that sounds delightful!” Parr added with far more enthusiasm. “Thank you so very much for the kind offer, Miss…” his voice trailed off as he paused to look his host up and down. “My goodness, Miss Oros! Did you perhaps do something with your hair?” he inquired. “I must say, it makes you look like a completely different person!”
Oros hadn’t forgotten to transform back, she just didn’t really care. Kate knew who she was, and Parr was likely going to make himself scarce before long. "It must be the hair, let me fix that up.”
With that, Suki walked back into the kitchen.
“Uh, I’m pretty sure that’s just her normal appearance,” Kate told her canine companion. “She’s a magical girl,” the photographer explained. “She can change into a different form, sorta like how I can with my camera.”
“Oh, how positively extraordinary!” Parr declared. “I must say, transmutation abilities never cease to amaze!”
The next instant, a now transformed Suki bolted out the front door. She glanced over her shoulder once before arriving at the table.
"Someone hid the ice, but I found it.” Her tendrils set the table in record time. Though that was largely because of how small the gathering was. Once the plates and utensils were out, Oros lifted the lid off of the pan and gave it a sniff. "I’ve never made it this way before, but it looks mostly normal? Usually the color’s a little darker.” Suki dolled out some pink and violet colored “food” onto everyone’s plate before sitting down next to Parr. "Well, you don’t have to wait for me. Dig in.”
If one looked at the dog safe version of Endless Eclipse long enough, they might hear the screams of tormented souls echoing out from beyond the dish. Even the porcelain plates seemed like they wanted to get as far away from what they were topped with as possible.
Holy fuck…
“Looks… delicious…” Kate said in a voice utterly devoid of sincerity as she cringed away from her plate and fought the urge not to gag.
“Oh my!” Parr exclaimed as he gazed down at the “food” in awe. “How absolutely fascinating! This looks just like the eldritch meat moss Miss Alura created for Professor Reed’s transmutation class! Don’t you agree, Miss Kate?”
“Uh, yeah…” Kate replied with a gulp. “It actually kinda does…”
“Oh, but since Miss Oros couldn’t possibly know anything about that, I suppose it’s just a sublimely charming coincidence!” Parr added with a jovial chuckle as he smiled up at their host.
Yet, despite his exuberance, Parr mirrored Kate in not making even the slightest motion towards the utensils, something Oros was sure to pick up on.
Oros picked up her spoon. "Yea, I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone called Alura.” The spoon made an audible squishing sound as it cut into the “eldritch meat moss.” When Oros lifted her spoon, it almost picked up the plate with it. Whatever Oros had made, it was very thick, and very sticky. She bit her concoction off of her spoon and started to chew. Oros had to open her mouth wide to properly chew it, and the multicolored mass had stuck to her teeth like molasse. "Huh, it’s not that bad. I think I prefer the original recipe though.” She cleaned her teeth with her tongue before going for a second spoonful. "Are you guys going to try it?” She asked without looking.
“Uh… I think I might choke if I ate this…” Kate replied.
“I am hardly an expert, but perhaps if you cooked it some more so that it hardened a bit, it might make for a far more palatable treat,” Parr suggested.
"You’re not even going to try it then?” Suki asked. She set down her spoon. "Not even a nibble? Not even…a lick?” Her hands trembled. Oros looked between Kate and Parr, and then she cracked a smile. Shortly afterwards, she laughed. "Right, right, Kate’s at her limit. It’s probably taking the last of her willpower to just endure a meal with me. But I’m a little disappointed with you, Parr.” She lifted her spoon to her lips. "You’re trying to pass yourself off as a gentleman, but you won’t even try something that I made specifically for you. Moreover, you think you can tell me how to improve it without even tasting it.” She narrowed her eyes. "I’m also very disappointed with your thinly veiled mockery of my food. How would you feel if I said something you made looked like ‘eldritch meat moss’? ”
“B-But I would never mock a meal so painstakingly crafted!” Parr stammered, clearly taken aback by Oros’s claims. “I meant that comparison as a compliment! A-And I suppose it would do no harm to have a small taste…” he added, cautiously bringing his muzzle up to the mound of goop and giving it the most tentative of licks.
A smile lazily crept across Oros’s face. She leaned towards Parr, stretching her arm across his back and placing it on his hip. "Well? How is it?”
“It’s… actually rather sweet,” Parr replied after a moment’s thought. “In fact, it bears an uncanny resemblance to frosted bubblegum taffy!”
“I’ll, uh, take your word for it,” Kate added with a dubious frown.
"Oh really?” She pulled Parr into her lap and folded her arms across his chest. "I can’t say I’ve ever had that, maybe I’ll have to try it some time.” Oros giggled. Then she raised her hand until it was under Parr’s chin, and elevated it until they were both looking at each other. "Though maybe, you can tell me if the taste compares to this…” She closed her eyes and placed her lips over Parr’s. Her grip on him tightened as she pulled him into a hug.
Parr, clearly caught off guard by this latest development, could do little more than squirm in discomfort as Oros showered him with “affection”. But as soon as he started struggling, Oros stopped. Something was off. Normally when she kissed someone they really enjoyed it, but this dog was different.
Kate, on the other hand, didn’t even try to hide her disgust.
“Okay, that is just gross,” the photographer stated, her cringing visage one of complete revulsion. “I mean, I know you’re desperate, but come on.”
"No, you don’t have a clue how desperate I am.” Oros turned her blood red eyes on Kate. "You were born with a silver spoon in your mouth. You have people who love you. You get to explore the world. You don’t get to judge people who are ‘beneath you’.” She whipped out a cigarette. " I had hoped that prostrating myself would be enough. Were the ice cubes not cold enough? Did the chef not have enough Michelin stars?” She raised her hands. "Why are you even here? This was a choice, and the only thing I’ve seen you do is mope and complain and-”. She pointed behind herself with her cigarette. "Go. You got your picture. Go, just go! Parr, it was nice to meet you, but you should go too. Both of you just go. Go!”
“M-My goodness…” Parr stammered after finally overcoming his initial shock. “M-Miss Oros, I…”
“I only came here because I promised someone I’d try to be nice to you,” Kate snapped at their host. “But ya sure don’t make it easy! First ya assault me, then ya try to poison me, and ya wonder why I’m so uncomfortable?! Come on, Parr,” she told the confused canine as she got up from her seat. “Let’s get outta here. Thanks for the meal, Oros,” the photographer called over her shoulder. “Hopefully someday you’ll find someone just as fucked up as you are to share it with.”
“O-Oh, well, um, f-farewell, Miss Oros,” Parr added in an awkward daze as he slowly followed after Kate. “I-It was… v-very nice to make your acquaintance.”
…
…
…
Could I have done anything differently? Kate wondered as she and Parr walked back to the alleyway behind the arcade. While the darkened streets of Hibusa Town were hardly what one would consider safe (especially for a small girl and even smaller dog), any Miseria that appeared would quickly find themselves encased in a chronolock bubble, courtesy of Parr’s entropic encapsulator, there to remain for several hours. I mean, I tried to be as nice as I could. It’s not my fault she’s such a perverted psycho…
“I-I must say, that was certainly an… unexpected experience,” Parr tentatively spoke up, breaking Kate out of her musings. “Despite her alarming forwardness, and somewhat deficient cooking ability, I thought Miss Oros was still a rather charming host, in her own, peculiar way,” he added.
“I guess you could say that…” Kate conceded, even as Morowa’s insistence that Suki still possessed some genuine goodness, in spite of the girl’s myriad flaws, echoed in her mind.
“It is a great pity that our time with her did not conclude under more agreeable circumstances,” Parr continued. “It seemed to me that she was desperate for affection and approval, yet unable to fully express that need in a socially acceptable manner. Thus, we were regrettably unable to provide her with the love and affirmation she sought. Yet, I cannot hope but wonder if this might have served as a learning experience for her, and that she will employ the lessons imparted this eve to better refine her interactions with others, thus allowing her to form genuine bonds of friendship, and perhaps even romance,” he pondered aloud.
I wouldn’t bet on it, Kate was tempted to reply. After all, it wasn’t like it was possible for an Oros to actually change her warped ways. At least, that’s what Kate would have said, before she’d met Morowa. Indeed, the moth woman’s very existence proved that there was hope that an Oros, even one as cringy as Suki, could improve herself. Perhaps… Perhaps there was still a chance for Oros the Joyful to make a genuine, unforced connection with someone, even if that chance was exceedingly remote.
“I guess anything’s possible,” Kate ultimately said with a shrug. “I mean, I’ve certainly seen enough crazy shit on my various travels. Speakin’ of,” she added with a grin. “Got any cool stories from your whole ‘lost in the multiverse’ thing?”
“Oh, yes!” Parr confirmed. “A veritable multitude! For instance, I met a particularly charming young boy named Finn…”
