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2 mos ago
Current best I got's a microwave burrito and a handle of popov, straight
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5 mos ago
when you smash ron after someone else calls riichi for one han just to make sure they get nothing
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11 mos ago
To this day, I regret not being able to try pre-nerf four loko
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11 mos ago
FREEDOM NEVER SLEEPS
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1 yr ago
are you seriously asking for a savage carry on RPG
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Renar Hagen


He only heard Fanilly's cry of triumph as he was running a bandit through. Judging by the reactions of those before him, it seemed it wasn't a lie. So their new captain had steel in her after all. Good. Still, that just left the matter of what to do with this lot...

Renar's musings were cut off by the majority of the bandits losing heart and throwing their weapons down, with very few having the presence of mind to either go down fighting or retreat. The ones in front of him were all surrendering, though. Renar regarded these kneeling men with some measure of disgust, mixed with pity. Didn't the fools realize they were just delaying the hour of their death? Men like these would receive nothing more in judgement than hanging. Retreat was a far more sensible option than kneeling.

The bastard of Brias looked down at the men before him, aware that he wouldn't be able to handle this how he would like to. It would be a mercy to simply kill these men right here, but most of his fellow knights wouldn't understand. Instead, he planted the haft of his poleaxe into the dirt, raising his voice.

"If any of you wish to die now, come forward. I can assure you, it will be quicker and more merciful than hanging."

Plus, it would mean less warm bodies to transport, contain, and feed during the trip back to the capital. A win-win, really.

Dragan Meszaros


By now, Dragan's suspicions were confirmed. This absolutely wasn't the paladin they'd been warned about. In that case...this was a waste of time.

"Enough of this." Dragan said, hefting his looted warhammer up as he stepped out onto the edge of his perch. "Either the battle ends here, or our actions prove drastic enough to lure the other one out. Regardless, I've had quite enough of sitting back and merely directing matters."

If a lord did not sally forth into battle himself, how would he ever inspire his people? With that in mind, Dragan channeled blood magic through his legs and leapt, his hammer gripped in both hands as he descended upon the large skeleton at the same moment that Ilena sicced her shadow wolf on it.

The Death Knight's leap had him on a direct trajectory with the skeleton's raised arm, and Dragan swung as he came into range, his warhammer aiming to utterly crush the bone arm that was raised to assail Giselle.
Fiona MacConnell


"Fer tha last fuckin' time, I dinnae where Ryker is or went. Kid's got his own private life." Fiona groaned at the random PMZ """interviewer""" that had decided to accost her while she was walking through the streets of Ballonlea on her way back to the Gym from grabbing lunch. "Now piss off, would ya? I said ya get one, an' ye used it up." Without any further words, she released Raptor from her ball and mounted up, taking off towards Ballonlea Stadium and leaving the paparazzi in the dust.

Not a minute later, Raptor descended into the Gym's training facilities through a ceiling entrance, touching down and letting her Trainer off. With a pat on the beak, Fiona sent her starter off towards her own exercises as she began to touch base with each of her team, working on individual training with them for a few hours before a phone call disturbed her.

With a groan, Fiona picked it up, expecting it to be work-related. She was correct, but not exactly how she'd assumed.

”Hello, hello! Listen, Hyacinth can’t call you right now. Something’s happened– something terrible! Someone broke into Wyndon Central Laboratory only a few minutes ago, and the cops need help fending them off! They have Pokemon in their arsenal, some of them we haven’t ever seen before! They’re too strong! Hyacinth said to get over there for backup, immediately!”

"Wha-" Was all Fiona managed to get out in response before she was hung up on, presumably so the kid could call in more backup. "Well, shite." She sighed before clapping her hands together, getting her team's attention.

"Right, listen up! We're gettin' called in fer a break-in. Considerin' where everyone else's at, we'll probably be there first, so get yer arses ready fer a fight!" Fiona called out to her team before calling her main roster back into their balls, with the exception of her Corviknight, moving over to get up on her back. "Wyndon Central Lab, girl! Rest of ya, keep on standby in case I need ya, don't break nothing, ye know how it goes."

With a screech, Raptor took off through the same ceiling flap she entered through, making her way from Ballonlea to Wyndon at a breakneck pace.
Renar Hagen


"Omitting?" Renar scoffed in response to the assist from Sir Sergio, taking a moment in the reprieve that the Knight of the Harvest Moon afforded him in order to sheathe his backup weapons and retrieve his poleaxe. "I can hardly call it that when that move was the first I've seen you make all day, now can I?"

Renar's new compatriot was a familiar face. Sergio was something of a known quantity to him, having trained with himself, Gerard, and Fionn on several occasions. While Renar admired most of the man's attitude, such as his practicality and general mindset, he took pause with some of the man's more...honorable tendencies. It'd lead to a clash down the line between the two for certain, but right now, it was little to be concerned about. They'd cross that bridge when they got there, as Renar would have to do with most of his comrades and acquaintances.

For the moment, Renar was more concerned with sticking the spike of his poleaxe into the throat of the next bandit that tried to charge Sergio, covering the Knight of the Harvest Moon from the flank.

"How does the battle find you, Sir Sergio?" He asked conversationally even as he slipped back into a guard stance. "Unfortunate that we've drawn poor lots on having to cover our comrades instead of engaging either of the larger threats, but that's how the heat of battle is-" Renar chanced a look back towards the griffin while there was a lull, and found himself gawping at the sight of Lucas and Fleuri chaining and mounting the beast, and then not even having the good sense to stab the fucking thing.

"Goddesses help us, what are they doing?!" Renar murmured aside to Sergio as he turned his attention back towards the battle, but not before shouting behind him at the top of his lungs so that Fleuri could hear him. "Plunge a blade into the back of its damned head already, Jodeau! It'll stop going after the others once you kill it!"
Dragan Meszaros


"No, that isn't it..." Dragan spied the approaching armored skeleton, dismissing it the moment he noted the lack of silver sword in its hands. He had other concerns to deal with at the moment, namely micromanaging his small number of stolen undead to decimate a much larger force.

A mental command sent the two spirit wraiths he'd ensorcelled to harry and harass those of the horde that split off to try to circumvent the gate while Dragan listened to Ayakasha's message with one ear. Now this was curious. Was there simply a second skeleton commander, and the first merely lacked a sword? Or was this the actual skeletal paladin and the two humans mentioned somehow managed to steal the blade for themselves? The latter would be something of a problem. A silver blade in the hands of someone who knew how to use it would be a great threat, as every single one of his companions knew. Their relative lack of strength at the moment only compounded said threat. In truth, Dragan was hoping that the humans could be reasoned with. But if they insisted on hostilities, they'd have to be chastised first.

"I am trying." He ground out in response to Ayakasha's plea to avoid damage to the cathedral. "However, that is what the gate's purpose is. So long as we stop the horde here, the actual cathedral itself can be preserved."
Renar Hagen


The First and Youngest wasn't the only flame the bandits were flocking to. While Fleuri had taken the initial pressure off Renar with his assist, now the Bastard of Brias found himself contending against yet more brigands as he guarded the backs of those knights that were handling the griffin.

The growing stack of corpses around Renar wasn't quite nearly as large as Tyaethe's, but that was a measure he'd always known he wasn't going to reach today. Plus, it wasn't as if he had much time to even realize it or even compare. The latest pair of bandits to rush him had actually managed to knock his poleaxe from his hands, sending it spinning through the air and landing with the axe head stuck in the ground a good distance away. His foes thought him helpless and left themselves open as they moved in for the supposed kill, leaving Renar able to draw his arming sword in one hand, his dagger in his off-hand, and thrust each into a bandit as they drew back to swing their weapons.

In truth, the forced weapon swap may have helped him more than it hurt. While Renar would always prefer the poleaxe above all else, wielding a weapon in each hand left him better able to deflect and parry blows from multiple opponents at once on his own. His sword found most of its use on defense, turning blows aside while his dagger plunged in for the kill.

As another small party of brigands fell before him, Renar chanced a look back to see what progress was being made by his fellow knights on the griffin.

"Do hurry up back there!" He bellowed, turning back to face yet another bandit looking to ambush the knights with backs turned to him. "The longer you take, the more of this rabble comes to stop you! I'll not be able to hold them forever on my lonesome."
Fiona and Iris


"Iriiiiiiis!" Fiona sauntered into the Wedgehurst Gym's office at noon, a takeaway bag clutched in her left hand as she pushed the door open with her right. "Getcher arse over here, I brought lunch. Sushi an' desserts!"

Today had been so boring... Trainers came and went, but all of them had A) quit the challenge because they were too afraid or B) failed to beat her. These things become uninteresting if too many people lost... Even her Pokemon were bored to the point that one of them had snatched Iris's headband and made her give chase.

The ghosts within the haunted house gym heard the voice and recognized the gym leader. They knew better not to challenge Iris's friends and colleagues, so they sauntered off back to their original positions, letting Fiona through easily.

"Give it back or you're in so much trouble!" Fiona would hear calling through the hallways.

The ghost had led her straight into Fiona, which made it pause and give Iris the moment she needed to catch the Pokemon into its pokeball then put the headband back on.

"Hello Fiona, it's nice to see you." Iris had heard her friend's call about sushi and desserts. "Next time I'll bring lunch and desserts. We can take that to the porch or the balcony so my Pokemon don't disturb us." She left that decision to Fiona, though the option of "neither" was always present if the other woman wanted to eat somewhere else.

"Balcony sounds good." Fiona replied easily, gesturing for Iris to lead the way. As they walked, she glanced around, taking in the sights of the haunted house. It seemed the layout had changed from the version she'd seen last year. Different spooks, maze wasn't the same.

"So how's th' Challenge been going so far? From what I've seen, ain't no one's made it tae Isaiah yet, so yer keepin' our workload light."

At that, Iris led her friend through the correct doors of the haunted mansion that would eventually lead them to the stairs up the balcony. Iris had made sure to remodel the gym a bit so that she would have a place to stay and no one would be able to accidentally get into her room.

As they walked to the balcony, Fiona would see that since Iris didn't have employees she was able to dress the haunted house up a little more. Old yet polished dining tables, paint purposely messed up to look older than it was, large paintings, dim lighting, cobwebs, statues made to look like their eyes were following you, and the door maze that had been redone; Iris just felt the first one was much too easy. Then there were her Pokemon who haunted various different things. Each one made sounds or messed up something to try and spook Fiona along the way. Iris, of course, saw each spook coming from a mile away.

"Well, everyone today has either left because the maze was too scary, or they couldn't beat me. One trainer even insisted his Fighting type team could win... Well, you can imagine how that went." Iris shrugged. "But it means they'll be faces I have to see over and over again until they win or they stop showing up. I don't know which one is more bittersweet." She smiled.

"How about you? What have you been up to if you're not getting challengers?"

"I mean, he probably coulda if he had half a brain. Pretty sure a good amount of Fighting types learn Foresight. But, well, Fighting type and brain's a fuckin' oxymoron." Fiona guffawed before thinking about Iris question. What had she been doing? Oh, wait, that's right. Jack shit. Most of her contacts regarding the Ryker investigation hadn't gotten back to her yet or were still investigating. So for the moment, she was just spinning her wheels. But there was no point in worrying Iris about any of that yet.

"Eh, same ol', same ol'. Led th' paparazzi on a chase yesterday. Better th' fucking media hounds keep tryin' tae track me down than bother any of ya."

Iris nodded in agreement. Any trainer could win with Pokemon weaker against another if they had plenty of potions and played their cards right, but her gym also worked to weed out who had a brain and who didn't. At least the other gym leaders could rest easy knowing that Iris would make sure only people who knew what they were doing made it through.

As they made it to the balcony, Iris was intrigued by Fiona's activities.

"Oh, I'm not surprised they haven't caught you. Are they trying to get information about Ryker? Or perhaps some sort of gossip to sell their tabloids?" It wouldn't surprise her. Iris still remembered the magazine they published regarding the rumor floating around about her. Anything to sell copies.

"Bit of column A, bit of column B." Fiona replied easily, setting the bag full of lunch down on a table. "Good thing they ain't found out yet that I'm workin' wit' my ex. Probably never hear th' fuckin' end of it, tae say nothing of Nordy's response. Anyways," She started pulling packages out of the bag.

"I got a nigiri set an' a spicy tuna roll. Which one ya want?"

As Fiona spoke, Iris took a seat in one of the open chairs, gesturing to one for her friend to take. Though, the other's information did make Iris perk up a bit. "I still find it incredible that you and Nordrin ended up working for the same league. But yes, I can't imagine how much more annoying they'd be if they found that out... It's good you're such an expert avoiding them."

Hearing the food options, Iris thought about it for a second. "The nigiri set, please. Let me know what you want to eat the next time we have lunch together."

Iris, once Fiona got situated, decided to ask her. "How have you been since finding out about Ryker? Bianca might have taken it worse than all of us."

"What, me?" Fiona tilted her head as she reached for the container with the spicy tuna roll, not bothering to grab chopsticks as she started to pop sushi into her mouth.

"Mnf. Mnf." She chewed and swallowed one piece before speaking again. "Already took it upon meself tae cheer Bianca up, probably dinnae need to worry about her. As fer me, well..." Fiona trailed off, shoveling more sushi into her food hole.

"Ah, don't worry about lil' old me. I'm doing fine. Sucks about Ryker, but we cannae do shite about that until some kinda lead pops up. No point worryin' my head off until we get more info." Fiona paused for a moment, as if considering her next words, before speaking again. "I'm askin' around about it, alright? No one's gotten back tae me yet with anything useful, but I'll share it when I get something."

Iris had broken her chopsticks and opened her packet of soy sauce to dip her nigiri into; enjoying pieces while Fiona talked. She was glad Bianca was a little happier now, and a little more happy that Fiona was asking around. It was the most Iris could do as well, though she wished she traveled out of the region more to be able to ask people outside of it.

"I just find it very strange. Ryker was gone and so was his Pokemon... The only thing that makes sense to me is that they wanted his help with something illegal and Ryker refused, hence the kidnapping. Then again, how can they force Ryker to do anything if Ryker has his team with him?" So many questions that she probably wouldn't get the answers to any time soon. But it was fun to theorize nonetheless.

"Depends," Fiona shrugged, idly chewing on a piece of ginger between pieces of sushi. "If he keeps his Pokemon in balls overnight, it ain't like he can get 'em out if his kidnappers got even half a brain cell between 'em. I've been thinkin' about this too. If it were me, I'd have hit any mons left out wit' Sleep Powder or Spore before gettin' Ryker. Most of th' ones that can do those moves ain't exactly big or loud."

"That is true... It's possible the kidnappers got to his Pokemon first, took them away, then fought with Ryker. But without any evidence, I suppose our theories are just that..." It would make sense if Ryker's Pokemon were being held hostage; she would be as compliant as possible if she were in Ryker's shoes, but there was some other things about this that didn't sit right with her. "I wonder why they needed him specifically, and if they'll be coming for Hestia next."

"Way I figure it, probably not Hestia. Gettin' yer hands on th' Champ's already huge. Plus, if ya start with something as high-profile as this, nae fuckin' shot yer gonna be able tae get anyone else, increased security an' all." Fiona sighed, finishing her sushi.

"Anyways, enough about all that. Think I might stick around after lunch, see what this batch of challengers're like. Ya still got that observer's box in th' stadium?"

Fiona did have a point, which made Iris feel better. She was just worrying too much over something that would be resolved soon enough.

Iris finished her meal soon after Fiona, hearing her question. "Of course." She smiled. "If you want to be part of the experience, I can give you a spooky masquerade mask. It's not necessary, but it makes things more fun for me."
Dragan Meszaros


Being in the immediate vicinity of the turned undead, Dragan was far quicker on the mark than their foe, and his own undead began to rip into their former fellows faster than their slow reactions could respond to. As his minions began to viciously assault the undead around them, Dragan leapt up to the gatehouse and entered, watching over the battle from above. For now, he made no move to actually open the gate.

At his mental command, one of the two spectral shades hovered in front of him, brandishing its dagger.

"Go. Find the one with the silver sword, assault him but once, and lure him back towards the gate." He commanded, sending the spectre flying off while the unarmed one remained by his side for the moment.

From his vantage point, Dragan oversaw the conflict below, directing his enthralled skeletons to assault weak points in the opposing horde and be far more effective than they would be otherwise. Any skeletal warrior that fell would soon be replaced in Dragan's forces by another one of their number ripped from the enemy's control.

"Would that my former brother could emerge already, so we can end this farce sooner..." He murmured under his breath, his warhammer planted into the floor as he placed both hands upon it.
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