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2 mos ago
Current best I got's a microwave burrito and a handle of popov, straight
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5 mos ago
when you smash ron after someone else calls riichi for one han just to make sure they get nothing
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11 mos ago
To this day, I regret not being able to try pre-nerf four loko
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11 mos ago
FREEDOM NEVER SLEEPS
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1 yr ago
are you seriously asking for a savage carry on RPG
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Renar Hagen


"Of course I am." Renar shot back easily, the corners of his lips barely upturning. "I'd figured a bit of mockery wouldn't go amiss. What else were you expecting when you miss a training bout without being seriously injured, ill, or dead?"

His jollies gotten, Renar turned back to Lilia with his quarterstaff in hand and stepped forward.

"Well, then. Unless you have any objections, or unless Gerard suddenly feels the need to jump in, may I take this bout, Lady Lilia?" Though Renar had his doubts that Gerard would butt in, now that he'd issued challenge first. The poor fellow had the worst tendency of overthinking in everything outside of the battlefield. Not that Renar wasn't guilty of such, but at least he had a goal behind it.

All that aside, the Bastard of Brias took his quarterstaff in both hands and lowered his weapon down to his side, tilted almost parallel to the ground in a serpent guard, ready to either strike or defend.

@Raineh Daze @The Otter @HereComesTheSnow
Renar Hagen


Fortunate that Gerard and Fionn were just as eager as Renar was in this endeavour. Not for the first time, he praised the Sun and Moon in the head for at least giving him stalwart friends within the order.

"You mean your makeshift cider mill? I've no objection to that." Renar shrugged in response to Fionn as he selected a slightly shortened quarterstaff from the weapons rack. Close enough to his poleaxe for training purposes. The last time he'd requisitioned a wooden replica of a poleaxe, the miser in charge of the armory that day simply laughed him off and told him to tie a rock to a staff. Ignoramus.

Renar followed after Fionn as he led the way to the cider mill-in-progress, noting Lilia's blunting enchantment with interest. A shame he'd had little to no talent for magic himself, so as to replicate it. As they arrived, Renar nodded respectfully to the elf they had in tow before glancing to his two fellows.

"Right, then. Who cares to go first? Fionn? Have you done a single bit of training today? Gerard and I did miss you on the field earlier."

@Raineh Daze @The Otter @HereComesTheSnow
Theodoric Branden Marlon


Thank Yhriel that Andrion seemed to be personable, at least. A bit too personable, judging by his comment about catching him with "another". It took a signficant amount of self-restraint for Doric to maintain his poise and not react to said comment. He had a feeling that if he didn't just brush it off, it would prove for significant amounts of mockery no matter how he reacted otherwise. Best to just gloss over it. Instead, he made an educated guess.

"That jerky does look quite good." Doric remarked as he began unpacking some of his own things, having been delivered by the porters as they'd taken the tour of the monastery. "As a trade, help yourself to some of my wine, if you wish." He said, pulling out a bottle of the aforementioned. "I know the monastery tends to discourage drinking by officer candidates, but I couldn't quite help myself from bringing a few bottles to relax with. The last few years have produced some rather good vintages, if you'd care to try."

___

The next day...

For all the stories of the Officer's Academy that his father and his sister had told him, Theodoric hadn't quite been prepared for their ostensible instructor to be half an hour late to their own class. And counting. He couldn't quite help but to wonder what exactly was happening here. A sudden bout of illness? Or perhaps they were a new hire and simply got lost on the way to the monastery. Certain other hypotheticals in his head were just unthinkable. After all, imagine if his house's instructor was simply an inveterate drunk and just couldn't be bothered to get up in time to teach. But that was unthinkable for a reason. After all, the instructors here were supposed to be among the best on the continent, and vetted by the monastery besides. Surely, the archbishop wouldn't be so clueless as to hire someone unfit to teach, right? Surely.

Instead, to pass the time, Doric glanced to his side, where Sherry was sitting next to him, Roland on her other flank as usual.

"So, Sherry..." He started, still wondering where in the hells their instructor was. "Have you settled in? How have you found your roommate to be, thus far?"
Shinozaki Yurie


Yurie just rolled her eyes at the byplay, munching away at her melon bread. Would've been nice if Oda had thought to hand a curry bun off to her, but she wasn't really expecting it. Instead, she held her food in one hand while tapping away on an AR display with her other, idly browsing the web as she listened to the other two make conversation. Hm, nothing big happening in her usual undernet circles. Deep Zero was being a prick again on the relay chat, but that was par for the course.

As a result, Yurie almost didn't notice as some girl she didn't know just butted into the room and the conversation, offering up...her own bento? Huh? Who the hell was this kid? She shared a glance with Kimiko for a moment before looking back to Kaede, pursing her lips. As tempting as a free lunch seemed, well, there was no such thing, ever. Whoever this girl was had to want something. People didn't just do favors for complete strangers without fishing for a favor in return. It was just a matter of finding out if the exchange was worth it or not.

"So you just have a spare bento handy at all times? Or is that your actual lunch? I'm not enough of a bitch to rob you of yours just because I forgot mine. Also, you got a name? I sure don't know you, unless you're one of these two's friends?" Yurie raised an eyebrow at Kaede before gesturing to her two lunch partners. Sure, she could trawl the school's intranet for this girl's dox, but unless she accessed the network herself, it'd be faster for Yurie to just ask flat out. Worst she could do was say no, really.

@Ambra @vietmyke @Serei2477
Renar Hagen


Renar filtered the inane commentary about pillows out immediately, his mind focusing on what was important now that a potential solution to his plans was in sight. Lilia's answer was surprising, in more ways than one. For one, it seemed that directly asking the Gentle Blade for her aid was doomed to fail, if she'd sworn to set down the blade aside from training her own blood. That said, if Lilia herself had been trained by the aforementioned, well...the equivalent of a teenager in elf years was probably easier to convince for training than a centuries-old master who'd evidently embraced pacifism.

"Oh? You were trained by her?" Renar deliberately raised an eyebrow. "Considering that it seems the Knight-Captain is still busy, I don't suppose you'd be willing to show some of your skill out on the training field? It would be something to pass the time, at least. If your mother is the only one who's ever instructed you, this could be a good chance to see how you compared to her old order." She'd compare very well, he suspected. Between an elf's lifespan allowing for decades upon decades of training, and with a legendary knight as the trainer, Renar would be far more shocked if she wasn't able to defeat any of the three knights present currently.

@Raineh Daze @The Otter @HereComesTheSnow
Salvator Rasch


He hadn't taken the gunner automata down in one move. Unsurprising, but annoying nonetheless. Now he'd have to keep engaged in close combat with the robotic soldier. If this were an organic, the situation would be far different. Pain would have slowed it, if not crippled the gunner completely. Too bad that automata just powered through injuries until they were rendered nonfunctional. At least he'd gotten a camera lens. That'd impair it enough for him to have an actual advantage going forward.

Salvator wasn't quite stupid enough to try to block the gunner automata's retaliatory strike. Instead, he narrowly stepped to the side, channeling ethereal power through his hands down to his weapons as he did so. His magnum's magazine became jacketed in void energy, as did the blade of his monofilament knife. Not a proper substitute for EMP ammo against automata, but there wasn't enough time to swap out. He led with the knife first, manuevering to the side of the gunner with the ruptured camera for maximum advantage. Salvator thrust with it straight into the gunner's shoulder joint, aiming to pin the arm in place while he finished it off. His left hand brought up his magnum, and jammed it into the cavity he'd already made with his knife before pulling the trigger. Several rounds of AP-EX with ethereal jacketing ripped through the gunner automata, rendering it nonfunctional as it collapsed to the ground.

With that done, Salvator instinctively crouched down as his armor's ECM suite began going wild, an alert popping up in his HUD. A quick visual scan of the battlefield revealed why: CivSec reinforcements. Fortunately, it seemed his countermeasures were holding up for the moment, as they didn't seem to have detected him. The voidhanger grinned under his faceplate. Good. Ethereal radiation washed over himself with a wave of a hand, the stealth field hiding him from visual detection. He holstered his weapons and swapped back to his carbine, ghosting out of the house.

"Squad, Rasch." He rasped over comms, his mask automatically muffling his sound to his immediate physical vicinity. "Moving to flank reinforcements, will tag any marked over the uplink, over." Time to start hunting the hunters.
Ranbu no Izayoi


She'd leapt off her chocobo the moment she knew there were Blightbeasts, having always been more comfortable fighting on foot than birdback. Izayoi snarled in frustration as a pair manuevered past her and aimed for Neve first, knocking the healer to the ground. Before the samurai could intercept, another two leapt for her, and Izayoi was forced to draw her blade, warding the Blightbeasts' attacks off. Both her sword and her gauntlets served on the defense, warding away fang and claw until there was space to dodge. She ducked and weaved through their frenzied strikes until an opening allowed her to knock one back with a roundhouse kick, stunning it for long enough to focus on the other. Izayoi bent low and dashed forward, moving up to flip the second Blightbeast over her shoulder in a jujutsu throw before her blade pierced its throat.

Free to focus on only a single beast, Izayoi launched a pair of slashes, carving into its chest and spilling ichor across the grass. With the immediate distraction out of the way, she chanced a look back to where Neve had been assaulted, only to find Galahad in the process of saving her, leaping back to the middle of the formation with the mage in tow. With that worry assusaged for the moment, Izayoi sheathed her sword and charged forward, preparing an iai strike.

The dragoon proved his worth again, lightning marking the oncoming rush of beasts. Arton's cry barely registered in her mind, with an aside glance showing him about to be beset by five at once. She'd have to even the odds somewhat. Izayoi dashed right past Arton, lunging into the grass with abandon now that she knew where the Blightbeasts were approaching from. The speed of her iaijutsu took the first one by surprise, allowing her to outright decapitate it. The one immediately following it took poorly to the death of its packmate, and leapt at Izayoi, forcing her to raise her blade to defend even as it pressed down on her. She hissed in irritation as the remaining three Blightbeasts dashed past her, still focused on Arton's taunt.

Fortunately, rabid animals didn't quite understand proper footwork, allowing Izayoi to hook her foot under its left leg and take it down. Her sword cut deeply into the Blightbeast's head on the way down, and it was dead the moment it hit the ground.

"Tch. Enough of this." She murmured, her demeanor distinctly less aggressive than it had been when she'd faced soldiers of Valheim. Izayoi drew her sword back with both hands, the materia embedded in her gauntlet glowing. She spun out, channeling the materia as she did so, and blades of wind rotated outward, cleaving through the grass surrounding the party and the wagon to more clearly reveal the Blightbeasts surrounding them, as well as cut into the few that were leading the large.

"The enemy is fully visible. Fight onward!" Izayoi called out to the remainder of the party before doing so herself, taking up her blade and dashing into the fray.
Kayliss Lambert


Load. Sight. Fire. Load. Sight. Fire. As Velvetica led the charge to launch the counter-ambush, Kayliss hung back with the archers and other support troops, plinking away with her crossbow. Lirrah's sling-flung fire flasks were actually of great help in this situation, marking cultists by the light of the flames for her to pick out and shoot. The fire would play hell with her night vision, but that was a lesser price to pay when surrounded by allies.

She still wasn't quite used to this, even after several months. The chaos of pitched battle was something to have been avoided at all times up until nearly a year prior, to say nothing of having to function within a small army rather than a handpicked team. At least the next phase of the plan would be far more familiar ground for her. And speaking of...

"Cover me." Kayliss murmured to the nearest person familiar to her, slinging her crossbow over her shoulder and reaching for her blades. "I still have to prepare for my part of the next phase." With that said, she crept into the fray, staying at the edges of the melee. It took a few moments, but she managed to isolate a suitable cultist in hooded robes around her size, and she got them into a blood choke, dragging them off into a nearby shrub.
Theodoric Branden Marlon


As he'd thought. Poor Roland. Theodoric had known him for long enough to understand just how much of his life was dedicated to House Grimdall's service. Plenty of bannermen served in that role for any great house, of course. Doric was acquainted with more than enough such knights. But most bannermen didn't serve to this extent. He resisted the urge to sigh. Roland deserved to, at the very least, be his own man. Doric made a mental note to himself to speak to Sherry on his behalf at some point, hopefully sooner rather than later.

The rest of the tour passed by uneventfully. By the time the Foxes arrived at the dormitories, Doric wasn't quite ready to go to bed, but a rest certainly wouldn't go amiss. Though he still had to unpack his things. Best to get that done with sooner rather than later. No point putting it off. He'd reward himself with some rest after he was good and settled in. But then another one of Sherry's screeches brought him out of his musings.

Cohabitation...? Well, this was new. Neither his father nor his sister had ever mentioned something like this. It must have been a policy that the Officers' Academy only implemented in recent years. Being a duke's son, Theodoric had never quite had to share living space with someone before, and the thought was...well, he wasn't quite sure what to think of it yet. Nor of his roommate. They'd only just met, after all. Godson seemed a personable sort, but that was only a first impression. Who knew how long it would last?

"Well. Shall we, then?" Doric nodded to Andrion before checking for the room number they had been assigned to. "I've never had to share sleeping quarters before, so apologies in advance if I offend in some way."

@ERode

&

Ranbu no Izayoi


Neve cast her gaze around the group once more, making sure that everyone was safe and comfortable as they coursed through the long grass. The sight of them conversing, such as Izayoi, Eliane, and Galahad did, was sufficient to bring a light smile across her lips. However, even that faded away when the swordswoman’s chocobo leaned a little too close in her direction. Before she knew it, she rode alongside her, and the sheer thought of such a fact made her bristle. It wasn’t that she disliked her– in fact, it was the complete opposite. Izayoi was a strong woman. Then why did she feel so uncomfortable around her?

It took a moment for her to realize she was staring. Neve ducked her head and gave her an embarrassed, slightly terrified upwards pull of her lips. ”It’s… a pleasure to have you along, Lady Izayoi.”

Izayoi had been wondering when the girl would stop staring and start speaking. If the healer had been any more terrified of her, she would have smelled it. But Neve’s words brought a sardonic quirk to her lips.

”Is it? I wonder.” She replied, looking the Dranan woman over. Evidently, the girl hadn’t bothered to heed her advice overmuch regarding how much she exerted herself the previous night. Would that it would surprise her.

”There’s no need to lie to me, girl. If my presence disquiets you, say so. I will fall back.”

”No, no! It’s fine.” Neve shook her head rapidly. If there was anything she couldn’t afford, it was to upset someone in the party, especially someone as infamous as the mystrel. She had only heard rumors of her ferocious acts, but she knew that it wouldn’t be smart of her to cross her. Neve blinked, then nodded again. ”I don’t mean to anger you. I’m just… not used to traveling alongside someone with so much prestige.”

”I am not angered.” Izayoi said as calmly as she could, resisting the urge to sigh. The Mother take her, it had been years. How had the realm not forgotten her by now? ”The tales only speak of what I do to my enemies. I give you my word that so long as we share the same foe, I will not intentionally bring harm to you. Verbal slights mean little to me, regardless.” A pause as something occurred to her. ”You know my name, but I believe you have never so much as even mentioned yours.”

Her words brought her some comfort, though Neve still felt her shoulders tense when she spoke again. Had she not introduced herself? It wouldn’t surprise her; the previous night had been hectic and she still felt the fog weigh heavily on her exhausted mind. A light blush crossed her cheeks and she dipped her head in respect.

”Neve Shadesbough, though you can just call me Neve,” she said, ”I was raised in Cascona Landing.”

”Hn.” Izayoi simply nodded in response, pretending like she had any idea where that was. Not that she could reciprocate. Even had she remembered where exactly she was born, that hadn’t mattered to her in decades. Until she’d fallen into Kaien’s service, the road had been her home more often than not, throughout all of Osprey. Though there was one thing she could offer in response.

”I do not recall the place of my birth, but my home for the last few years had been the village of Atsu. It is- was on the way down from the mountain pass we will use to cross into Osprey.”

Neve wasn’t sure if what Izayoi said was a good thing. Uncertain, she bit her lip and bunched her hand around the hem of her robes as she pondered what to say without toeing a line. ”I heard Osprey is pretty,” she began with a beaming smile as she continued nervously. ”It’s much warmer than other places on the continent. I can’t wait to see it. I haven’t left Drana Asneau much, and I don’t think that I’ve even gone further than Balmung or the Chocobo Forest…”

”I have never been to your lands, but from what I have heard, it will be something of an adjustment.” Izayoi didn’t visibly express any emotion, but at least didn’t seem disapproving. ”Osprey is beautiful in its own way, even once you head north of the plains. Or was, rather. The occupation has not been kind to the land.” An understatement, if anything. Though best not to dwell on it too long before making the girl uncomfortable.

”And what of you? I have never heard of this Cascona Landing before. What sort of settlement is it?”

That was right; Osprey was occupied. Her temporary excitement dwindled as she turned to face the path again. Dread pricked the corners of her mind. What would they find there? Neve hoped that there were healers there, or at least people who knew how to tend to the fragile and ill. Then again, she hadn’t seen enough of Valheim’s presence to deduce that for herself. She blinked at Izayoi’s next question. ”It’s a fishing village not far from Costa del Sol, a large river cuts right through the middle of it.” Her voice became slightly lighter as she thought back to the time before the forests began to whisper to her. ”My father is a popular fisherman there. He taught me how to fish too, and did the same with my siblings.”

”Oh?” Izayoi’s ears and tail perked up slightly. ”You fish? I do as well. My teacher cared little for food in my youth, and it fell to myself to supplement our diets beyond the basics. That, and my husband was always fond of whenever I caught dinner from the mountain stream.” A slight upturn of her mouth, for just a moment. As pleasant as the thought was, it was still marred by the thought of the loss of both of them. Her own negligence, as always.

It surprised her to see that Izayoi took such an interest in fishing. It surprised her even more to see that they actually had something in common. Neve didn’t expect a genuine smile to cross her lips as she spoke. ”Maybe… we could fish together one day?” she asked hesitantly. ”You can show me your technique, if you would like.”

”If the opportunity arises. I’ll not begrudge more helpers trying to catch our dinner. Trail rations grow tiresome as a meal quickly.” Izayoi simply shrugged in response to Neve. ”Though I’m afraid I have little in the way of technique to speak of. Only cobbling together what has worked since I was a child.” An understatement, if there ever was one. Before she’d worked out how to use a rod and line, a sharp stick and and good timing had sufficed in shallow waters.

”Chin up.” She practically ordered. ”Nervousness and fidgeting ill become you. There is little reason to fear speaking with those you’ll be traveling with for the foreseeable future. I doubt this will be a short campaign.”

Neve brightened up at Izayoi’s agreement, no matter how confused she was. Izayoi, fishing with her? It was hard to imagine, but at the same time it was quite nerve-wracking. She wondered what kind of fisherwoman she was… though it wouldn’t be surprising if she was the intense type that people in Cascona Landing weren’t accustomed to.

She flinched a little at her suggestion. Fear? She didn’t fear anyone in their group. They were good people. It was just that some of them were… a bit too intense for her, Izayoi being an example. Oh well, she might as well become used to it. What she said was right– they were on a journey and who knew how long that was going to take. ”Okay,” Neve bobbed her head slightly, though she avoided the mystrel’s sharp gaze. ”I’ll try to do as you say.”

”Do not do it because I demanded so, do it for your own well-being.” Izayoi huffed as Neve refused to meet her gaze, but let it go as they continued to ride on in silence.
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