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2 mos ago
Current best I got's a microwave burrito and a handle of popov, straight
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5 mos ago
when you smash ron after someone else calls riichi for one han just to make sure they get nothing
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10 mos ago
To this day, I regret not being able to try pre-nerf four loko
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11 mos ago
FREEDOM NEVER SLEEPS
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1 yr ago
are you seriously asking for a savage carry on RPG
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Oh hey, was there a word chosen to put the kiddos to sleep that I might have missed? Lol


<Snipped quote by Donut Look Now>

I'll let you come up with it. It's probably something pretentious and overly academic, considering who did it.


shikanoko nokonoko koshitantan


Ranbu no Izayoi


Eliane would not have thought that they would have been back in Kugane so quickly, but ultimately, she found herself pouring a cup of tea, not coffee, this time.

Sometimes, she truly surprised herself.

It took her a moment to decide to enjoy outside in the courtyard. She thought it was strange that a safehouse would have an actual courtyard, but since it existed, she would make use of the amenities. It seemed like the Skaelan officer wasn’t alone outside though, as she noticed team Kirin’s older swordswoman swinging her weapon where she had decided to take a rest.

That reminded her of something she saw during the fight with the revenant that had bothered her. She gave Izayoi a nod, but Eliane decided not to immediately approach, taking a seat to the side to enjoy her cup of hot sencha as she allowed for the other woman to finish.

Disrupt. Cut. Pierce. Disrupt. Cut. Pierce. Izayoi finished up the last of her katas and wiped the sweat from her brow. Still nowhere at the level she should be, but sparring with Robin and all of the exertion in the desert resulted in minute improvements from the last time she’d been training in Kugane before they left.

She’d noticed Eliane in her peripheral vision partway through her exercises, of course. Her senses weren’t completely gone, at the least. Izayoi sheathed her sword and turned to face the sollan, waiting.

”Is aught amiss, or am I simply blocking your view?”

For Eliane, it was always interesting seeing Izayoi practice her moves, given how different her style was compared to her own swordplay. Finishing off her tea, she shook her head. “No, the view is perfectly fine. I’m surprised you’re already back to training, though.”

”The desert made it abundantly clear that I cannot afford to make even the slightest pause in attempting to regain my former strength.” She sat down next to Eliane, a person’s width away.

”I put my master in the grave when I was but eighteen summers young. To be unable to replicate the feats I could perform at that age is shameful.”

Eliane frowned at that. “You and I both know well that doing it so soon after such grievous injuries is a detriment, not a boon.” She left it at that and moved on, though– she wasn’t Miina nor a doctor. She canted her head slightly as she looked askew at the other woman. “Which is actually what I wanted to talk about.”

”I am recovered.” Was all Izayoi tersely said in response to Eliane’s first statement. It was true, even. Given that the return through the desert had been far less fraught with dangers considering the swathe they’d cut through the Blightbeasts one way, she’d had plenty of time to heal on the march. ”But go on. I’d been wondering if someone would have noticed what went wrong during that battle.”

The pink-haired woman fixed the Mystral woman a stare at that. “That was a clusterfuck. Everything went wrong,” she bluntly replied. “Tactically, however, I can’t see much that any of us could have done differently except to have never engaged in the first place.” Of course, hindsight was always 20-20, and there was an argument to be made that it might have been impossible in the first place, given the Valheimian airship in play.

She got to the point. “You were already injured before the battle. You were coughing up blood and that thing cut you down because of it. What happened?”

”I meant the latter, yes. But no, I was not injured beforehand. The blood was from overstraining my body in attempting to save your lives.” Izayoi looked up towards the midday sun, frowning.

”That attack demands an excessive amount of fortitude from myself, both to keep time halted in a given area, and to move quickly enough to execute every strike while maintaining that magic.”

The Wild Dance wasn’t an attack she liked to have to use at any point in her career. Between killing her master and the start of the war, Izayoi could have counted with only half a hand how many times she’d been forced to utilize the one limit break that hadn’t been a technique passed down to her.

”I developed it to defeat the attack he would have slayed the rest of you with. Regardless, does that satisfy your curiosity? I will not be coughing up blood again lest I have to resort to it before I return to some measure of my full might.”

Enlightened, the Skaelan officer nodded her understanding. “Yes, it does. I wasn’t aware.” She considered the Revenant, and then their current skills, fully aware that they would likely face that thing again. “Then I will have to hone my own skills as well. Would you like a spar?”

”I would not turn one down, no. Live steel?” At Eliane’s nod, Izayoi reached for her sword.

___

”Huff…huff…yield?” Izayoi struggled to catch her breath as she put one foot on Eliane’s chest, her hand pointing the tip of her blade at the prone woman’s neck.

The duel had been a hard fought thing, far closer than she would have liked or expected. Neither woman was able to use their full strength, given the restrictions of live steel. Izayoi couldn’t risk her battojutsu against a target she wasn’t willing to kill, and similarly, Eliane couldn’t exactly shoot Izayoi. Nevertheless, Eliane earned her rank as Dame Commander, to be certain.

Flat on her back and breathing heavily from exhaustion, Eliane held up her free hand in a yielding gesture. “Yeah… I yield.”

Izayoi certainly lived up to her reputation. Although she had to yield in the end, it was a satisfying match; she was well aware her opponent was the superior swordswoman, and she knew that she had given a good accounting herself. All the better for practice.

Standing back up once Izayoi stepped back, she sheathed her sword and dusted herself off, taking a moment to properly catch her breath in the process. “That was enjoyable… we should do this more often.”

”Indeed.” Izayoi nodded, sheathing her blade. ”You possess no small amount of skill. A few more years of seasoning, and you may have given me quite the challenge at my peak.” She took a moment to wipe her brow once more.

”The others could benefit greatly from sparring with you, the younger ones especially. Do seek them out at some point.”

Eliane returned a small smile at that. Considering that her swordsmanship was only one half of her fighting style, that was no small compliment. “I will. I might not want to drill them like I would my own team, but with the trials we’re about to face, they do need the experience.”

Izayoi gave a slight grunt of agreement, turning as if she made to leave the courtyard.

”We’d not had the opportunity to discuss this, but you have my condolences for the deaths of your men. Take solace in the fact that your decisions had little to do with their passing.”

Eliane blinked, and then nodded. “Thank you.” With that, she turned to leave as well.
Ageha:

1. Snakes Without Sin
2. Tower Of The North
Iraleth Kyrios


Iraleth grimaced in distaste as she beheld the Iris Record. Spectators? Really? This wasn't a competition to gawk and cheer at. This was life or death. Regardless of how many or how few there were, this was just obscene. What in Astra's name was the principal thinking? Nevertheless, she let herself be led to her waiting area.

A brief ping from her Adapa led Iraleth to check her mail, to which she tapped "woods" without further thought and turned away, falling to her knees and placing her hands atop her legs as she sat and waited.

Strategy. Iraleth had exerted herself as much as, or likely moreso, than Ciara throughout the day thus far, what with multiple uses of her Ethos. Fortunately, those hadn't been quite as full-burn as the previous day had been. Nevertheless, she wasn't quite fresh, no matter how much she'd taken the last few hours to rest and recuperate.

The witch wasn't stupid. She'd do something desperate to blot out light, give herself an advantage. That was fine. Iraleth was her own light. To be surrounded by shadow was expected. Both of them were melee fighters. Even if Ciara had any particular tricks at range, Iraleth had seen her fight already: she preferred melee. And up close? Iraleth was her better.

Ciara's best chance was to dictate the pace of the fight, suck Iraleth up into her rhythm. Conversely, so long as Iraleth powered through, this matter was finished. With the Inheritor's strength, that was a near guarantee. But it would also bear too much risk of striking a fatal blow. Iraleth's Ethos wasn't meant for anything but outright war. That idiot Bronsteel survived her yesterday by virtue of his contraptions taking most of the brunt of her blows. Professor Alto had still been her better, even with her Ethos. But if Ciara had any such protection or strength, she would have invoked it during either of those two battles. Or in the forest. No, Iraleth wouldn't call upon the Inheritor unless absolutely necessary.

Ten minutes passed, and Iraleth rose when she was bid to, following the guard into the arena without a word, her sword already drawn. They'd waited long enough. It was time to put an end to this matter.
Post for this will be up by Wed or Thurs at the latest
Rudolf Sagramore
&
Ranbu no Izayoi


That evening, the smell of food cooking drew Rudolf to the safehouse's kitchen. One of Ciradyl's staff, moved over from the previous safehouse, walked hurriedly away from the kitchen, murmuring apologies towards whoever was inside.

Upon peeking in, Rudolf would behold a strange sight to his eyes: Izayoi manning the stove, an apron laid over her usual kimono as she simmered fish in a saucepan. She glanced up upon hearing footsteps, raising an eyebrow.

"Is there a problem? I requested that the previous occupant vacate the kitchen." A beat. "Are you hungry? I'm making several portions."

For his part, the young man took a moment to blink, as he reconciled the scene before him with a few expectations that had just died. Of all their number that might have been crowding the staff out the kitchens, he had to admit he'd not expected her, even after beginning to learn of the woman behind the legend properly.

"Ah, no, none. I just..." his hands raised high in surrender, as the savory odor continued to pull a void in his stomach closer to the forefront of his attention. "I guess I didn't expect to see you back here."

Even if he'd denied his appetite, after the days of travel they'd taken in returning to Kugane he could tell the lie would have soon been revealed once that empty stomach became vocal. So instead, he stepped through the partition, and rolled up his sleeves.

"If you're making a lot, is there anything left you could use a hand on?"

Izayoi resisted the urge to give the boy an exasperated look at his obvious surprise upon seeing her within the kitchen. What did the Edrenians think, that she feasted on the blood of the fallen?

"Surely this can't come as too much of a surprise." She groused as she checked the fish. "Someone had to keep my family fed, and my husband, gods bless him, was useless in the kitchen." Izayoi moved on to the soup, waving Rudolf off.

"Go, sit. I'm nearly finished here as it is."

"Be that as it may, this has been a long journey back for all of us." the young man offered quickly in reply, clearly electing not to force his way into whatever workflow she had left. At certain times, the greatest virtue to offer was in accepting generosity, rather than demanding parity in every moment. "Etro knows, if any of us are due for a rest rather than taking on another task, you'd be high on the list. Things were definitely touch-and-go."

He made an effort not to unintentionally take a patronizing tone on the subject-- honestly, even he might have begrudged it, were the positions reversed. Few things grinded at the gears more than being considered, even remotely, as "fragile" to those that lived by the sword.

He pulled a nearby stool free, and sat on his haunches with crossed arms.

"Being too injured to fight and too injured to perform menial tasks are two entirely separate afflictions." Izayoi retorted, giving the miso a brief taste before nodding in satisfaction. She quickly plated up two portions of rice, miso, and simmered mackerel onto individual trays before carrying them over towards the small kitchen table.

"Eat. I will leave the remainder for those who are currently absent." She took a pair of chopsticks and began to dig into her own meal rather noisily. Evidently, table manners were something that had never quite stuck with her.

"Thank you."

In Rudolf's mind, there was a little more granularity than those two options, but he wasn't about to get bogged down in it. Instead, he offered a silent word of prayer in thanks, took up his chopsticks, and began to eat as well.

Perhaps ironically, the young man claiming to hail from a hard-nosed warrior village ate almost elegantly by comparison, systematic and precise as his utensils cut through and portioned simmered fish into bite-sized chunks.

"This is good," he said between mouthfuls, appreciative smile on his face. "Really good. Where I'm from much starker flavors are customary, but this is a really nice balance. Gentle, almost."

The slow-simmered mackerel's savory-sweet flesh, with the salty tang of the miso coating both fish and rice, was a far cry from the Sagramori and Shilagean shared fondness for pickled and spiced meats, drowning in invigorating brine, cayenne, and at times char. A warm hug as opposed to a slap on the back.

Another bit of light shed upon her, that burned away what he'd believed of a spectre before they met. A warrior of her skill and renown, surely, would have eaten food that was supposed to make you strong. Right?

He had to admit, his curiosity was piqued now, and everything he learned about the woman before him seemed to make her a little less scary and a little more real. Had he not been paying attention to them, he wondered if he would have acted so swiftly, there on the dunes.

"What kind of useless in the kitchen was he?" he asked, after swallowing the last of the fish.

Would he have still done the right thing, were he still terrified?

Chefs were often their own worst critics. Izayoi was no different. Even as Rudolf praised her cooking, she compared the flavor in her mind to previous examples of her food, to say nothing of the same dish she'd sampled from other venues.

The verdict was poor. Six months of no practice resulted in slight overcooking. The texture was just a tad dry, and she'd used too much water with the rice. Mushier than it should have been. Izayoi frowned as she ripped through her meal nonetheless.

Rudolf's inquiry brought her thoughts back to her immediate surroundings, and she raised her head.

"I asked Isshin to prepare rice but once, on a day where he had no house calls and I went to fish." She reminisced wistfully, lips quirking ever so slightly upward in spite of herself. "I returned to witness him scraping burnt rice out of the pot somehow. Foolish man. Before we wed, he largely subsided off eating from the village inn's kitchen." She raised her soup bowl to her lips, taking a brief sip before explaining. "My husband was the village doctor. Without him discovering me on Atsu's outskirts, my death on the mountain five years ago would have been one in truth."

"I'll admit, its falsehood was a hell of a shock." he joked.

Similarly, he brought the bowl to his lips, but paused before the liquid could reach them as a detail stood out in his mind.

Atsu. A village at the foot of the mountains separating Edrenian Midgar and Ospreyan Aitsuragi. Close enough to have seen a village doctor discover the bloodied, beaten, and broken war hero before her final stand had claimed her, and return her to health.

One that Valheim would return to, six months before now, and burn to a crisp. Searching for her, last known to be in the area, and by happenstance just up the mountain, searching for medicinal herbs. Raze it and rend it to the earth... including one such inn, big enough for two bumbling foreigners to accidentally fall down a wine cellar, just a few weeks ago, when Valheim came to sweep the area once more.

He set the bowl down, and looked at the wistful samurai before him... No, at the widow, fondly tending to the old flame in her breast. The small, all too rare smile on her face— maybe the last she had left to indulge. He knew this look, all too well.

She was there again, for a moment. Memories of simpler, fonder times, transporting her back to a moment that could coax a grin out from behind even her stern scowl.

He wanted to ask, to confirm the sudden deduction, to apologize his tresspassing even, but seeing that...

"Still, for as confidently as word of your death was spread, he must have been a superb healer." he continued after the beat, fishing for any straggling clumbs of rice with his chopsticks idly.

He couldn't. He wouldn't dare bring Valheim back into the picture, not when this talk afforded her some form of respite from its long shadow. He didn't have the heart to rip it away from another.

"He was." Izayoi confirmed, still practically somewhere else at the moment.

"Isshin received his education in Kugane. Atsu was his hometwon. He'd returned to the countryside upon tiring of city life and lacking the funds to establish his own practice within the capital."

Five years passed in her eyes in a blink. Five years of peace, joy, love, all gone in one afternoon. Izayoi took a deep, shuddering breath, forcing herself back into the present. Focusing on what was in front of her would center herself. She resumed her meal, occasionally looking up out of the corner of her eye.

The boy was oddly well-mannered in terms of handling chopsticks and eating, especially for an Edreni. Especially for an Edreni monster hunting vagrant. She hadn't seen table manners like this outside of samurai that weren't upjumped peasants like herself.

Finishing her soup, Izayoi studied Rudolf intently for a moment, suspicion in her gaze.

He nodded along with her as she spoke, content he'd made the right choice. For someone who wore tension around her like a second layer of her robes, he had no way of knowing what kind of good the trip down memory lane had done in truth— But at the very least, when it ended, it was on her terms, set aside with a calming breath instead of snarl or spittle.

For someone like him, even doing that much exceeded par.

"Well, I understand it isn't my place to say, but..."

He studied the liquid in the bowl for a moment, trying to choose his words carefully in paying respects.

"Even if he couldn't find funding, I think it's a good thing he found y—"

As he looked up, he found himself under the microscope in a way he had forgotten to be ready for. Her piercing gaze had returned to her in the wake of her reminiscence, and she'd quite squarely turned it onto him.

What happened? Why's she staring? I got carried away, didn't I? What do I know, I'm the child of her enemies back then. I shouldn't have said that. Am I gonna die?

He tracked her gaze closer, finding it locked to his right hand at certain moment— and glanced between her and the chopsticks about three distinct times to make sure he wasn't going crazy.

"Oh. Uh... Am I holding these weird? I tried to copy you and Ciradyl's grips mostly..."

Izayoi continued to subject Rudolf to her unwavering stare for several moments before she deigned to speak.

"You are surprisingly well-mannered at the dinner table for a mere monster hunter." The samurai said simply before returning to her meal. Once she finished the last few bites of her mackerel, she continued.

"One would almost think you were raised with, or at least trained in noble manners as I was." She rose, starting to clear the kitchen table of both Rudolf's and her own plates and bowls. "Am I to assume you hail from a family of recently-disgraced knights or retainers?"

Crap.

He'd never needed to police this before now. So often, the roasted or grilled meats and vegetables from the village never really brought the old habits out of him, skewered and carved to be eaten by hand anyway. He'd not even thought of the way he ate to be something to draw anyone's notice. He'd already been burned, almost literally, once before by trying out his "playing dumb" card...

"I'd appreciate that, if I didn't feel like it's put me on trial." he began, before following up, probably a smidge too quickly, with "No, my family hasn't fallen from high standing or anything like that."

Much the opposite, as a matter of fact. Cutting off their disgraced excesses was sure to see them rise further. Not that the world knew of him. Last he'd heard from Earl Demet, the going story was that he'd fallen deathly ill, bedridden for five years straight by some plague brought home from the war.

"Sir Galahad mentioned this in brief when we first joined, but Sagramori're more than just monster hunters— that's simply the most common trade for our skills, especially with the onset of Blight."

He too rose, reaching for but being a little slow on the draw for his own plate.

"We're chiefly swordsmen. Midgari initiates often winter with us to embed within the crucible— others from the village have even risen from sellswords to peerage upon battlefield merit before. It's probably those nobler types that rubbed off on me." he half-explained, half-lied-by-omission.

It wasn't lost on him how close this story was to the truth of things, through the focus of a different lens. Hopefully, that'd serve to make it more believable than the opposite.

"I'm a skittish guy, really. Polite eating keeps people out of my face."

A beat.

"Usually."

"Hn." Was all Izayoi said in return, giving him one last hard stare before moving to set the used dishes aside and start plating the remainder of the food into lacquer boxes for the others. "Curious, how I've never seen or heard of your sword style during the war, then. Off with you, you've other things to be doing." She dismissed him brusquely, turning away.
Renar Hagen


Even through the sudden darkness and paying attention to the knowledge his weapon was enchanted, Renar hadn't taken his eyes off Thrinax ever since the beast started moving. It approached, its head rearing back, and-

Oh. Oh, damn it all. He bit back a curse, quickly diving off the hilltop and unceremoniously tumbling down a way before he righted himself into a slide. There weren't any chances to be taken when it came to a threat of this magnitude. The knight glanced up to see his sudden surge of movement pay off, as the hilltop was bathed in dragon's flame.

Right. First things first. Take stock. What was he working with?

Fortunately, it seemed Thrinax's opening move hadn't killed anyone among the Roses, or even seriously injured them. Very good. Everyone was regrouping, with the exception of Gertrude, who was high in the air on her broom, and Fionn, who'd evidently hitched a ride. That opened possibilities. Ones that would be difficult to coordinate considering they were out of speaking range, but Renar trusted that Fionn would take opportunities as they came.

"Gerard, Fleuri." Renar picked himself back up onto his feet, poleaxe brandished in front of him. "With me. We're missing Fionn, but he's in a better position to deal critical damage. All we need to do is keep Thrinax's attention long enough for the others to strike a decisive blow. Remember, it isn't stupid. We can't simply survive. We'll need to pose a credible enough threat to stay engaged with, lest it have the opportunity to shift its attention."

He surveyed the immediate area, mapping a route forward in his mind.

"Forward, and keep to cover as we approach. I don't doubt that a dragon has better night vision than we do, but Merilla's change in conditions may benefit us more than it does Thrinax."

@Crimson Paladin @HereComesTheSnow
Nakajima Ageha


So she'd put herself ahead of the pack already, considering the inane questions the rest of this rabble were babbling. How many people he killed? What idiot kept count? Why he wore a mask? Who cared? What his Bankai was? If he actually told them, he didn't deserve to be a captain.

And then, in a moment of genuinely pleasant surprise to Ageha, she actually got a real answer and a compliment. She hadn't been expecting one. The entire intent here had been just to make herself known to the captain, at the very least. Ageha resisted the urge to display any smugness about the matter. There was no point in ruining any inroads she'd made because she somehow couldn't control her expression.

Kenpachi moved on to...ah. The meathead. Should have figured he'd be interested in the Eleventh, too. That...wasn't the worst outcome, really. He put up a real fight, and it was better to have an actual challenge to beat on than a human speedbag.

Back to what mattered, Ageha ran through Captain Kenpachi's criteria in her mind. The basics she already cleared easily. Strength? She had Shikai. That put her above the majority of the pack of cretins she'd graduated with. The will to fight? Oh, in spades and more. No, what mattered was what he was looking for in seated officers. She didn't intend to be an unseated pleb for longer than was strictly necessary.

Of course Ageha fought for something. It was what had motivated her to push through her family's training. Through the academy. Spite. And the desire to make her wreck of a childhood worth a damn. To be useful in some way. If she didn't go down this path, all the nonsense, idiocy, and borderline abuse she'd endured would have all been wasted in the end.

She narrowed her eyes, noting the alluring smell of grilled meat and fish wafting in the air and pushing past it. Later. There were more important things at hand.

"Then I'll just have to prove my worth. Now or at a later time, Captain?" She left it up to his discretion, of course. There was a fine line between displaying bravery and an insubordinate demand.
Yeah same, I don't think I can really drag out the chapel scene for another round.
Nakajima Ageha


Sometimes, life was a bad joke. Like the idea of pushing your one and only hope of relevance so far past the breaking point that she decided to abandon all ties with you instead. Or, more pertinently, right now. When it turned out the strongest man in Soul Society and the head of the military was evidently an alcoholic buffoon. And a slob. Charming.

Ageha resisted the deep urge to react in any way, her expression stony as the speech ended and the crowd began to disperse around the festival. She could spy Abiko, from the academy, giving her a brief wave off from a distance away. A curt nod of acknowledgement was given in response, though her lip curled in slight distaste at his choice in company. Nonetheless, she continued on, her goal in mind.

There were other squads she didn't have a problem with joining. The Second and the Ninth wouldn't be objectionable. But if Ageha had a choice? She wanted the Eleventh. Frontline combat appealed to her. And so did the squad's culture. Live by the sword, die by the sword. There was a problem? You settled it through strength and skill. The cantankerous spirit of her Zanpakuto rumbled agreement at the notion, and Ageha swiftly tracked down the masked man serving as this generation's Kenpachi.

"Captain Kenpachi," Ageha snapped up into a crisp military salute. "Ageha, Squad Ten." No need to muddy the waters by bringing her noble family name into this. "I'll get to the point: what are you looking for in those who join the Eleventh?"
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