A firm hand fell against his shoulder and shook him from his aimless fixation with his desk’s sunlit surface. Yasuo looked over at Kenji’s face, the youth’s lifted brow and stern expression was still new and confusing to him.
“You just gonna sit there?” he wondered.
Yasuo slid his hands into his pockets, let his legs stretch out, and leaned against the hard chair. “Yea…” he answered lethargically, though sleep was not on his face.
“Ojima Yasuo-san, class is ove-.”
“-Yasuo, I hate formalities. Just Yasuo.” He interrupted swiftly, causing Kenji to freeze.
“Formalities are the last of your worries at this moment, Ojima-san. School policy dictates that…”
The annoying cadence of Kenji’s lecture was mostly ignored. The news that he had been dropped smack dab into a annual tournament was just now hitting him. Just now torturing him mercilessly. Every moment that drew closer was like a small heart-attack. It seized him in its steel grasp and tightened with warning for his trials. A pain was torturous.
Yasuo, incapable of remaining there in its grasp, raised up and hurried out the classroom, leaving Kenji's rigid protocol behind him. The way to the school’s roof had been blurred by his panic. The fresh air that swept over him though had not, the openness of the cloudless sky and beaming sun gave him reprieve from the dangerous emotions.
He loosened the grip over his heart and let his breath release into the ozone. “God… I can’t keep going through this. I should bow out of this contest, outta school too” he thought aloud, tightening his fist to crush the anguish.
The wind was indifferent to him, it could care less as it whistled. Grabbing the edges of his coat, the sides of his pants and sweater. Touching the strands of his hair. More than anything… more than wanting to fight and overcome this. At the moment, more than the openness that set free his heartache; he needed time. The time to recompose, to rebuild himself.
What are you searching for? Is it peace, forgiveness? You cannot expect those things when you win, Son. You must bear it and move on!
"Dammit, he's the last person I wanted to think about," muttered Yasuo, his face contorted and hurt.
He slowly laid on the ground, his eyes to the sky. If he was going to settle in his anguish, he'd need to be ready to throw it all away in a moment's notice too.