Avatar of Roach

Status

Recent Statuses

4 yrs ago
Current cunt has positive connotations in my country, so no
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4 yrs ago
AMAB: all mods are bastards
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4 yrs ago
September is PCOS Awareness Month - shout out to all my cysters out there! 1 in 10 women have it and many go undiagnosed for a long time because women's health issues are taken less seriously.
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4 yrs ago
don't take the bait
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4 yrs ago
that's an open invitation to peep
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Bio

π–‡π–Žπ–” π–šπ–“π–‰π–Šπ–— π–—π–Šπ–ˆπ–”π–“π–˜π–™π–—π–šπ–ˆπ–™π–Žπ–”π–“

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π–‡π–Šπ–π–”π–‘π–‰, 𝖆 𝖒𝖆𝖓!β€Š
π–‡π–Šπ–π–”π–‘π–‰, 𝖆 𝖒𝖆𝖓!
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𝖓 𝖆 𝖒 π–Š
β€Šβ€Šπ–“ 𝖆 𝖒 π–Š
roach

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𝖆 π–Œ π–Š
β€Šβ€Šπ–† π–Œ π–Š
twenty-five

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no thanks

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infp-t – the mediator

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𝖙 π–Ž 𝖒 π–Š π–Ÿ 𝖔 𝖓 π–Š
β€Šβ€Šπ–™ π–Ž 𝖒 π–Š π–Ÿ 𝖔 𝖓 π–Š
gmt+1
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Hello! My name is Roach, the malcontent formerly known as McHaggis, and I've been on this site for a good while now. Wherever I end up, the Guild will always have a special place in my heart because it's where I met some of my very best friends and long-time writing partners. (Seven years strong!) It has absolutely nothing to do with the functional code or the great status bar takes, that much I can assure you.

There's not much to say about me except that I'm a graduate who had a lot of time to kill in lockdown, which is easing up at present. I'm currently trying to tame BBCode or die trying, and I think it's going pretty well. If you are at all interested in this endeavor, please check out my guides (1 & 2) or PM me for a bit of chit-chat about tables so janky you can literally break the site with them.

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𝖍 π–ž 𝖕 π–Š 𝖗 𝖋 π–Ž 𝖝 𝖆 𝖙 π–Ž 𝖔 𝖓 π–˜
β€Šβ€Šπ– π–ž 𝖕 π–Š 𝖗 𝖋 π–Ž 𝖝 𝖆 𝖙 π–Ž 𝖔 𝖓 π–˜
the old guard, dragon age 2, mass effect, doctor who, the witcher, lore olympus, the devil is a handsome man, avatar: the last airbender, the dragon prince
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𝖗 𝖔 𝖑 π–Š 𝖕 𝖑 𝖆 π–ž π–˜
β€Šβ€Šπ–— 𝖔 𝖑 π–Š 𝖕 𝖑 𝖆 π–ž π–˜
groups ✦ sentaku, a tower of sand
1x1s ✦ morsmordre, amortentia, veritaserum, post-script (complete), six in the chamber
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I'm retired from the Guild, having moved entirely off-site, but I occasionally dip in to collect old GIFs and writing.

Most Recent Posts

@Enchanted Fairy

A rough character WIP, with the details conspicuously left vague to fit with later info. Excuse the typos, there be many.

@Enchanted Fairy Twice a week works for me, though it might be a bit on the fast side. Should have a character ready in the next few days.

Is the RP starting off in any location in particular?
Interested!
In Sentaku 5 yrs ago Forum: Casual Roleplay

In an ideal world, Mori slept well the night before his chunin exams, because he was a perfectly functional child soldier who didn’t feel the mounting weight of academic pressure squeezing all the air out of his lungs. Instead, after Iza had dozed and Karu was making a reasonable attempt at it, Mori just closed his eyes and pretended to be asleep, all the while dreaming of what it would mean for him to graduate from the ranks of genin.

Pros: his arrangement with his clan and his country would continue as planned, and he would be on track to becoming the fuuinjutsu specialist of his wildest imagination.

Cons: his arrangement with his clan and his country would continue as planned, and he would go back to the Land of Whirlpools for an indefinite period of time, without a doubt leaving Team 3 behind. Dowsing that pesky Will of Fire that tried its damnest to rear up in his heart.

He kept adding conditions to his own future. He’d only disappear once he was a chunin was one of the first. He’d wait until Team 3 disbanded. He’d wait until Karu had achieved his Sharingan. He’d wait until Katsumi-sensei had taught them all they needed to know from her encyclopedia. Well, at that rate, he might as well as wait for them all to be married-with-children in a picturesque vision of adulthood, their dreams all achieved, except his.

Come morning he was no quieter than usual, careful to hide any lingering sense of doubt beneath respect for his team. Beneath duty –– and something much warmer. If he dozed off during the Hokage’s speech, well, it was fine. The Academy had taught him how to daydream with his eyes open, looking for all the world like he was listening intently to the content of a lecture.

Plus, she was Karu’s mom. And Mori practically lived in her house five nights a week. On the off-chance that he was caught out, forgiveness would surely come easily, right?

Tuning out Karu’s endless panicked babble, he answered his concerns silently in his head, waiting for a pause to answer that never came. β€˜Lunch would most likely be after the test. You’ll be fine, you’re sensei’s favourite and you must have picked up something helpful in three years,’ and so on, until he directed them to split up, with special instructions to both himself and Iza.

β€œSummoning Princess Nurunuru would be a waste of chakra,” Mori said, staring down Karu’s retreating form, face blank. Absently, he noticed that Iza had already left, but he was fully committed now; if he had to explain the problems of this plan to an audience of one, himself, then he would. β€œThe genin from other countries – our opponents – will see her, and will thus be able to plan accordingly if we ever come into conflict. That’s not even mentioning the fact that she hates being called for trivial tasks.”

But no matter how wasteful, how show-offish, how Kaminari the order was, he just let loose a long-suffering sigh and slit the tip of his thumb with the edge of a kunai.

One long-suffering kuchiyose no jutsu later, a blue-green slug slid over the floors of the auditorium. Obligingly, Mori knelt down to pick her up; a purely pragmatic move that delighted Nurunuru with his deference. In a chiming voice incongruous to her whole slimy everything, she said, β€œLift me, peasant.” And he did, letting her slither up the sleeve of his hoodie to settle on his shoulder. β€œWhat do you require of your benevolent future-queen today?”

β€œThis one would humbly ask for your aid with his reconnaissance of the room.”

β€œI refuse.” Mori began to make his way into the crowd anyway, careful not to jostle the slug on his shoulder. More than one would-be chΕ«nin paid him a quizzical look as he passed them by, and one Iwa-nin even went so far as to scribble something down in a small pad. β€œTo do so would debase me. I would lose all respect as a heiress–.”

He interrupted before her pitch and volume could increase even further. β€œKaru thought that Your Benevolence would be the best one for the job.”

β€œOh. Well, that certainly changes my answer. Why didn’t you say so earlier?” Her eye-stalked wiggled an implication at him that was troubling to see, and the chakra within her pulsed, warming her β€˜cheeks’ like a blush. β€œIf young sir Kaminari believes that to be the best course of action, then of course, I will oblige him. Onwards, steed!”

Not for the first time, Mori wondered if he was really the summoner here – or indeed, if he should have ever signed the contract in the first place.

Nurunuru whispered in his ear superficial information about people of note as he walked towards the commotion. She could, in fact, be quiet when she wanted to be, but she only wanted to be when she had Karu’s appreciation as a carrot on a stick. Of those she pointed out, she recognised a few nin on the older side of genin, as well as a lone shinobi from Mist who glared at anyone whose eyes made contact with his eerie gaze, and a kunoichi from Suna who played with a set of scrolls so worn they were fraying at the edges.

After that, before he could stop her, she began to comment on those Mori actually knew. His classmates. In no world did he need a second opinion on Shirou’s adorability, Kanehara’s rugged masculinity, or the Hinoiki cousins’ edibility – whatever that meant.

β€œWill young sir Kaminari be pleased with my services rendered?” she asked when they circled back around.

β€œI’m– I mean, this one is sure he will be.” Mori paused as he caught a glimpse of the conflict on the other side of the room, one that Iza had firmly planted herself in the middle of. He made a noise in the back of his throat, the progeny of a groan and a sigh. β€œAlthough, he would surely appreciate it if Your Beauticiousness would so kindly stick around to help in case of injury. Perhaps he would even appreciate it so much that he might reward you with a kiss.”

β€œHohoho, a kiss! How scandalous that would be; I could never accept it from such a rogue!” She wibbled and wobbled as she giggled, until her voice dropped into a thoughtful whisper, β€œUnless...”

Okay, maybe Mori did have a spike of mischief in him. Blame Hirameki.

In Sentaku 5 yrs ago Forum: Casual Roleplay

In the shadow of the eastern wall, the Sekiguchi Clan’s compound lay still, serene, and sedate. Dawn lit up their sprawling rock garden in blue-grey hues, and though beyond the gate Konoha was reluctantly stirring, the same could not be said of the shinobi residing within. To be Sekiguchi was to be lacking in ambition and energy. They were not Kaminari, related to the Hokage and thus recipient to the missions that sent them on top-secret, faraway missions at first light. Instead, their routine was marked in backshifts and second jobs, dull as dishwater.

But Suzuhime was not one hundred percent Sekiguchi. One half of her blood hailed from the Land of Tea, the part that brought her milk-blonde hair and delicate complexion. That same part was to blame for her lack of sleep, and was the reason why she swung her legs out of bed and plodded downstairs like a girl ready to face her own execution.

Dad would sleep through his own execution. Worries didn’t seem to gnaw a hole in his stomach as it did hers. They flooded her thoughts, whispering and chanting that there was a chance she would end up like him, a jonin with no record of any special accomplishment, or her cousins, who peaked as chΕ«nin in their twenties, or worse – worse than any of her family had ever been – an eternal genin.

It was her firm belief that you weren’t really a ninja yet if all you took were D-Rank missions.

Though she thought she was the only one awake in the house, the sliding door that led out into the garden from the dining room was left ajar. There was no chance that a family of shinobi would leave it unsecured at night – not even hers. She brushed it aside, careful not to make the faintest creak. Sitting on the bench outside was a woman in a meditative pose was her mother, milk-blonde hair braided but still long enough to brush against the grass.

Suzuhime watched the rise and fall of her mother’s breath from the doorway. It sometimes scared civilians to realise that their Academy-trained children had the ability to kill them without them ever knowing they were there, but Suzuhime still made sure her footsteps made no sound as she approached. It was good practice for later. There was no doubt in her mind that stealth would be paramount in the chΕ«nin exams, as important as aim and chakra control.

Just when she was about to reach the bushes behind the bench, there was a flash of intent behind her that rang alarm bells in her head. Rolling into a crouch, a fan of kunai were in her hand in a second––

β€œAnd just what are my two darling princesses doing up so early?”

An arm snaked around her torso and hoisted her up into the air before she could do anything to block it. Less taijutsu, more dad-jutsu, always effective. Suzuhime’s father was a tall, broad man with wine-coloured eyes, a Sekiguchi inheritance. He was earnest in his appreciation and outrageous when showing it, and like her mother, Suzuhime had mastered rolling her eyes at his antics many, many years ago.

β€œHusband,” her mother greeted. Her warmth was hidden behind an icy front, impossible to see unless you knew where to look. As it was, the frost in her eyes was light and reflected her mirth. β€œPerhaps you should put dear Suzuhime down. It’s the first day of the chΕ«nin exams, is it not?”

He dropped her without warning, but like a cat, Suzuhime twisted around to land on her feet.

β€œThe chΕ«nin exams, eh?” he asked, as if he hadn’t even known they were happening. That seemed unlikely, given it was all anyone in the village had been talking about for months. β€œI still remember mine – good times, good times.”

β€œDidn’t you lose yours, Dad?”

A sheepish smile played at the corners of his lips. β€œWell, yes, but it was a near thing. Damn Ōkashi. I received a promotion not long after that –– and then I was sent on the mission where I stole the heart of your mother, with flowers, and presents, and a lot of dancing… you could say.”

β€œYou know that I'm old enough to know what that means, right? Euphemism or not.” Suzuhime wrinkled her nose at that. β€œI don’t think I need to hear about that bit.”

β€œNo, don’t go yet! I made you a special breakfast,” he said, tugging on her arm to guide her back inside the house towards the kitchen. β€˜Special breakfast’ sounded like something for a toddler, not a teenage trained killer, but the moment Suzuhime looked upon the kitchen table she saw plates piled high with sweet foods. The only thing β€˜breakfast’ about it were the pancakes drenched in syrup, to say nothing of the cakes and pastries littering every available surface.

A confused noise escaped her. Her dad wiped the back of his neck, abashed, and in the growing light of the morning, the shadows under his eyes looked even more pronounced than usual. β€œI may have made too much, but it’s a momentous occasion! My little girl finally growing up to be the strong kunoichi I always wanted to be.”

β€œYou wanted to be a strong kunoichi?”

β€œEat your breakfast.”


By the time Suzuhime left the compound, stuffed full of everything sugary that she could eat (with leftovers in a neatly-wrapped bento for lunch), the sun was already high in the sky. So much for being early to settle her nerves. She rejected her father’s offer to walk her to the examination centre where genin from all the countries would be gathered, and figured that it was his privilege as a jonin to watch from the rooftops after giving her a few minutes headstart.

Settling into a comfortable position on the outskirts of the room, she looked around through her thick fringe at her colleagues, as well as those she hoped would not become her enemy. A true wallflower, petrified of the middle of the room.

The Hokage began her speech when she was halfway around the edge, sandwiched between a squad of lithe Suna-nin and what felt like an ocean from Kumo as they shuffled around. One jeered at her as she ducked around him, cementing the idea that they were truly willing to be her opposition in the test to come. Even so, she could not imagine those from her graduating class – her own village, Yachiyo and Iza and the rest – to be her enemies. Her allegiances started with Team 10 but they did not end there.

Glimpsing her tiniest teammate leaving the crowd out of the corner of her eye, she let loose a sigh of relief and began to forge towards her.

β€œKurimi – finally – thank goodness! I’m sorry… I got here so late, I was worried I’d never find you,” she said, dipping in and out of an apologetic bow. It was difficult to tell sometimes how to best appease the Mochi girl with how tightly she held her cards close to her chest. Suzuhime could not tell what was wrong, but she could have sworn she heard her growling. β€œWhere is Usagi?”
In Sentaku 5 yrs ago Forum: Casual Roleplay


In Sentaku 5 yrs ago Forum: Casual Roleplay
In Sentaku 5 yrs ago Forum: Casual Roleplay

finished e-boi

A goil:

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