Avatar of Sir Lurksalot

Status

Recent Statuses

1 yr ago
Current I am going to smuggle wholesomeness into your RPs and there's not a damned thing any of you can do to stop me.
5 likes
2 yrs ago
"Bud, you're like a pizza cutter; All edge and no point!"
6 likes
2 yrs ago
Habanero ain't the spiciest pepper but it's pretty tasty on things, ya gotta admit.
2 likes
2 yrs ago
And in addition to boneless wings being overrated; Anybody who looks at sauced and tossed wings, lovingly spiced and perfectly crispy and says; 'I'mma dunk that in blue cheese' has missed the point.
1 like
2 yrs ago
Boneless wings are overrated.

Bio

User has no bio, yet

Most Recent Posts



"So did Scooby Doo there just jump off the balcony like I think she did?” Ease inquired a bit rhetorically "Hmm. I guess that answers my question."

"Yeah, Avery just kinda... does that." Duncan replied without missing a beat as he caught sight of Ease coming out of his peripheral "You get used to it after a while."

"...What are you two up to?"

Reasonable question, I mean out of all the people in this fucked-up fantasy land, Duncan and Avery weren't exactly (to the casual observer, at least) the most likely to casually hang out. So, heaving himself up off the railing, picking all of his and Avery's crap and giving Ease a friendly rap on the shoulder, the bald man motioned for the Alaskan to follow him as he gave the abridged version of the increasingly insane series of events that had led him to this moment as he headed for the stairs like a normal person.

"Long story short, we got ambushed by a bunch of idiots calling themselves the 'Red Fang Raiders' on the way back from Laab and Vesta was having none of their shit." Duncan began, turning the corner as he reached the bottom and stopping for a second as he heard a commotion in the alley beside the tavern, but continuing unabated as he made his way over to the counter "Soooo... blood and bodyparts. Everywhere. That woman does not fuck around."

Placing a few coins on the counter, the baldy grabbed a pint and handed it to Ease before snagging one up for himself, continuing to talk as he headed for the side door.

"Buuuut, among the many, many bits of bloodied dumbass covering the road, we found a map to... something. Not sure what it is, but me 'n Avery figured we may as well go check it out..."

And with that, the Canuck opened the door only to find... some kid. Under attack by the world's cuddliest assassin.

"GET OFF ME YOU STUPID ANIMAL!" Said kid shrieked, trying desperately to break free from her incredibly affectionate, incredibly tiny canine assailant. "I hate you!"

'Aaaaand, the Universe keeps fucking me dry...'

"...Or, at least we would be, but apparently we're ambushing random people in dark alleyways with fuzzy puppies now." Duncan finished, brow raised but honestly, not all that surprised after the events of the past month as he calmly gulped down his pint and turned his head slightly to the younger, much more fashionable man. "What the fuck, Avery?"

Woo, progress!
@Lord Wraith@Unknown100

By the by, posted.
A B E L A T E D P R O L O G U E . . .

D E L A W A R E :

July 21st, 2017 - 16:32 | Greenhouse - Metro Tower

"So, first real fight as part of the League... how are you feeling?"

Duncan briefly glanced up at the old Superman-Robot from the little hole he was digging in the garden, his face twisting in a weird way as he tried to puzzle together an intelligent way to articulate just how he'd felt about the previous day's events...

"...Kiiiinda wish I got to keep my pants."

...And, true to form, settled on cracking a joke instead of actually saying what was on his mind. A habit that didn't go unnoticed by the old machine, though it didn't press the lad about it.

"Yes, I was wondering about that; The entire tower and everything in it was restored to the way it the second Extant and Fate vanished... except your pants." Ajax remarked, a perplexed note evident in his usual synthetic tone even as he seamlessly transplanted the sapling of a cherry tree into the garden dirt "That is... peculiar..."

"Made for one hell of a first impression, though; 'Hello there, Justice League! My name is Duncan and here is my gitch!'"

"Well, your reptilian friend seemed to enjoy it..." The machine quipped with calculated precision, very possibly reveling in how those words made the man next to him freeze for a moment, before he quickly covered his brief lapse in composure with a small smirk and a raised brow, though he kept his eyes cast down at his work.

"You sassin' me, Ajax?" Duncan snorted "Didn't think ye had it in ya."

"I am merely pointing out that in the span of a few weeks, you have saved the lives of three hundred and forty-two of your former coworkers, fought an upgraded Metallo to a standstill, went to a baseball game with possibly the greatest Hero that ever lived, helped bring down a time-travelling psychopath and then shared an intimate moment with a member of the Justice League." The (actually very sassy) robot remarked before Duncan could try to change the subject with more humour "...Perhaps this life suits you."

That gave the Rookie some pause. And he didn't even try to hide it this time.

"Yeah... you and Supes keep saying that, but I'm still not sure I buy it."

Ah, there it was. If Ajax had a mouth, it'd be wearing a particularly triumphant grin right about now-

The boy was finally speaking his mind.

"Mr. MacAodhan, in case you haven't noticed, you happen to be one of the most physically powerful beings on this planet. You could have gone out at any time you wished and forcibly seized anything you ever desired... but you took all that potential and abruptly threw it to the side because the only thing that mattered to you was working a normal job and drinking beer with your Grandfather." Ajax explained, placing it's trovel down and turning to the young man "Yet when push came to shove and lives were at stake, you used all that strength and fought like a lion to defend your home and everyone in it."

"...So, where exactly are you going with this corny speech?"

"That for all that you do not want to be a Big Damned Hero, it does seem to come naturally to you."





E P I S O D E VII:
T R A I N I N G D A Y S

D E L A W A R E :

July 30th, 2017 - 09:13 | Metro Tower - Metropolis

Duncan had to admit; watching Lara toss the holo-droids around was pretty goddamn cathartic...

Well, it also reminded him just how much he'd been holding back this entire time and how much doing so really annoyed the piss outta him, but God Damn watching the kid tear through both Grundy and Parasite (at one point, with eachother) was a hell of a fun sight. At least, until Wildcat was kind enough to remind her that she probably shouldn't be trying to kill her enemies if she was going to be part of their big damned spandex club.

...Not that he was necessarily fully on board with said club himself mind yo-

“And you, MacAodhan. Out of your teammates, you have the most experience with Supervillains.” Wildcat wasted no time cutting into him as well “Her conduct's on you. Get your shit together.

Well, a dressing-down by the guy who saved his Granddad back in the war and indirectly allowed him and his Dad to exist... That stung a little.

'Welp, guess getting an autograph for Gramps later is out of the question...' The Canuck winced internally as he took a deep breath and exhaled slowly in order to get his afore-mentioned shit into an appropriate degree of togetherness and turned towards Vandal Savage, who was outright ignoring him at this point and focusing on Supergirl '...Let's just get this shit over with.'

And so with a step forward, the Rookie seemingly vanished in a burst of speed, appearing only as a blur of motion until he abruptly stopped directly behind the replicated immortal. Hands firmly placed where it's shoulders met it's torso.

"Hey bud, forget someone?

Without another word, Duncan promptly squeezed, eliciting a loud series of pops and a louder scream from the droid as both of it's arms fell limp, dislocated and useless to it's sides. A pattern that repeated itself as the Rookie pushed his foot into the back of Pseudo-Savage's knee and forced it into the ground, crushing it.

"Now..." The thoroughly unhappy Canadian began as he let his enemy drop to the ground, ignoring the sight of Gentleman Ghost leveling one of his flintlocks at him from the corner of his eye as he calmly moved his foot over the back of Savage's other knee and pressed down, eliciting a final 'CRUNCH!' "You be a good boy and stay right there while I deal with your friend..."

The Ghost-bot fired, and there was a minute of silence afterward wherein Duncan simply stared at the dapper robot... before parting his lips with a cheeky grin and revealing he'd caught the bullet with his teeth. Which he casually spat off to the side.

"...Otherwise, I'mma haf'ta start spankin' ya lil' shits."


@Unknown100@Holy Soldier
So who wanna post next in episode 7: Trainings Day(s)?


I'll take it, might as well wrap this thing up soon anyhow.

I'll get to it after work.
Duncan MacAiden


@Lunarlors34


"Wait... I'm fired?"

"No, you've been 'Let go... Nya~'"

To his credit, Duncan wasn't even that mad... or at least, he didn't look so as he stood there in the foyer of the Crusch Manor, completely stonefaced as one of the Maids stood before him and dictated the letter Felix had left before leaving on some adventure or another with his Master. Nearly a month in this world had numbed somewhat to the labyrinthine twists and turns his life seemed to take these days, and frankly this one was pretty par for the course.

"...He actually bothered to write out 'Nya~'?" Duncan asked after a moment, though he damn well knew the answer.

"He also drew two broken hearts and a sad cat-face." The Maid deadpanned in response, face blank and clearly hardened by years of dealing with Sir Argyle's whimsy.

"Seems about right."

Another beat of silence passed as the two stared eachother down, until the maid adjusted her glasses and cleared her throat

"Would you care to join us for lunch?"

"Hm? Oh, yes. Wouldn't mind that at all."





'Jesus Christ those ladies know how to cook...' Duncan couldn't help but think as he patted his armor-clad belly, letting out a little belch as he made his way through the Town Bazaar on the way back to the Crescent Moon, armour clicking rhythmically as he went.

It'd been an odd couple of weeks for the bald man; being abruptly farted into this Medieval Fantasy Land, getting Blown Up, getting smacked in the face with some Cat-femboy's big, frozen balls and then being hired on and sent out on a mission to kill demons at the behest of said Cat-femboy and then coming back to find out that the apparently well-paid position he'd been promised as the bodyguard to a Royal Knight in service to a Noblewoman with, without a doubt, the most hilariously innuendo-filled name he'd ever goddamn heard was no longer on the table because the two were out mucking about the countryside somewhere.

All in all, a shitshow.

...But hey, Felix was kind enough to leave him a fist-sized purse of coin for his trouble, and thanks to Crusch's maids, he had enough packed meals in his ruck to last a week. So it wasn't so bad.

His train of thought was abruptly derailed as a dog-sized bipedial lizard thing (which he refused to call a dragon) abruptly jumped through the space between his legs, and he had to quickly dodge out of the way of the trio of giggling animal-eared children that went chasing after it.

"...Huh." The Canuck toned after after a second's silence, scratching the back of his head at the sight, somewhat surprised how he wasn't so surprised about it as he'd usually be... in fact, he was kinda smirking a little.

His senses then shifted from the mischievous little rascals to the bazaar around him; casually glancing over the blacksmiths hard at work, merchants enthusiastically plying their wares, performers singing and dancing in the square as the smells of oh-so-many foods alien to him found their way into his nostrils. He even glanced down at himself, garbed in his leather armour and new (to him, anyway) matte-green-painted steel cuirass, helmet and arm/shin guards he'd looted off a bandit's corpse after a whole gaggle of them had the hilariously unfortunate idea to try and ambush the party on the way back from Laab (particularly when Vesta loudly declared that she was having none of their shit).

A stray thought occurred to him as he took in his surroundings-

'Oh dear God, I'm going native, aren't I?

Snorting indignantly, he put his helmet back on and dismissed the thought as he carried on his merry way. The faceguard concealing the little smile that weaved it's way across his features.




Finally arriving at the Crescent Moon, waving a quick greeting to Yoshi and dropping a few coins and some candy-coated appa-bits he picked up on the way over into the hands of a young, cat-eared kid that looked like she was going to faint from fright at the sight of him even as she tried to take his order, Duncan headed up the stairs and toward the balcony... only to find Avery dangling off the railing in a... very Avery-like fashion.

'Ladies and gentlemen, I give you...' The green-clad ex-mountie announced internally with a bit of humour as he set down his ruck, helmet and club and made his way over to the railing holding a bag of the previously-mentioned sweets '...My best friend.'

They were an odd pair, for sure, exact and total opposites in many ways in fact. But killing demons has a funny way of bringing people together and, to be honest, if Duncan didn't have someone to bounce terrible jokes back and forth with (and occasionally, play big brother to) these past four weeks, he'd've probably strangled half the party to death... or, well, Atisha at least.

"Rev, you do realize that if you fell and cracked your head open, you're boss would kick the ever-loving shit outta me, right?" Duncan asked rhetorically and with a bit of mirth as he leaned over the railing slightly and dangled the bag of sweets in front of the younger man's face "Sorry for the wait. Long story short; apparently I don't work for a cat-boy in a dress anymore."

A small smirk broke across his face as he continued.

"Ready to go find out just what the hell those bandits had marked out in their maps?"

EPISODE VII


The morning exercise had been little more than pure boredom for Lara. Ted claimed there were things to gain from running other than muscle mass. Things like balance and patience and other words she thought belonged in fortune cookies.
Breakfast, however, there was a real mean challenge, and the phase “Could I maybe get a slice of bacon on the side?” got no response.

Now Lara was staring into the twisted mouth of something from a nightmare.
Wau, high school must have been tough for this guy, Lara thought looking at Parasite. With slight nausea, she turned to her team and cleared her throat. “Alright, guys, let’s start by… SURPRISE SUCKER-PUNCH!” she yelled out and blasted away with her laser vision, hitting floors, walls, ceiling and just about anything in front except her opponents.

All of those spread out instantly and approached with both calmness and haste, while Lara turned her head up and down, left and right in hopes of getting lucky.

In an adrenaline pumping second, she almost looked to her team for guidance, before she managed to turn off the laser shortly thereafter. “Ideas, anyone?” Lara asked and had she known her voice would be shaking, she would have kept her mouth closed.

Rookie, for his part, just stood there in muted silence as the young half-alien unleashed a devastating torrent of laser fire every which way (including, briefly his own, having been the closest to her what with being her sparring partner until a minute ago) and hit... absolutely nothing.

Perhaps he was starting to go numb to the insane turns his life had taken these past weeks, perhaps all this training to get him used to the rigours of superheroing was starting to acclimate him to things like this... or perhaps all those super-powered fists to the head he'd taken recently had broken something important. Whatever the cause, it wasn't fear, excitement or even anger that showed on the young man's face at that moment; but a comically blank and profoundly tired expression.

"...Really?"

In retrospect, he probably should've been paying more attention to the giant, zombie-looking robot lumbering towards him reciting old-timey nursery rhymes, buuuuut the Grundy-bot saw to that anyway. Manually. For not even a second after the word had left Duncan's mouth, did the damned thing snatch him up by the ankles and begin whipping him into the hard floor like some kind of demented children's toy, digging divots into the concrete tiles and sending dust and debris flying every which way.

"Christened on a Tuesday... Married on a Wednesday!" It half-sang, half-screamed as it finally slammed the lad directly into the floor and delivered a thunderous haymaker that dug him even further into it for posterity's sake "Took ill on a Thursday! Grew worse on Friday!"

Simulated saliva foaming freely off it's simulated jaw, the machine then abruptly began stomping on the Canadian boy like a tantruming toddler, shaking the whole room as he did so.

"DIED ON A SATURDAY! BURIED ON SUNDAY!"

"OH, WOULD YOU JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP ALREADY!?" Came Duncan's bellowing reply as, suddenly, a fist shot forth from the crater and intercepted the robot's foot, knocking the machine back and sending it tumbling backwards haphazardly away from the hole and the now very, very angry man inside.

Very clearly, absolutely one-hundred percent done with this shit, the Rookie shot upright to a sitting position before climbing to his feet and storming over to the bot that had offended him so, eyes glinting with seething anger and a vein bulging dangerously in his temple as he snatched a hold of the still-prone Grundy-bot's leg.

"FUCK YOU. FUCK YOUR RHYMES..." The t-shirt-clad Canuck roared as his grip tightened on the holographic appendage and he turned towards the Pseudo-Parasite with a near-deranged gleam in his eyes, before chucking the his opponent straight into it with a titanic swing "...AND FUCK! YOUR UGLY! FACE!"

Standing there, sucking in as much oxygen as he could and trying to calm himself as he stared down the two droids that were now awkwardly piled on top of eachother and trying to get back on their feet, Duncan's head slowly turned towards the resident half-alien as he let out a long exhale. Finally getting his anger (somewhat) in check.

"Supergirl..." He began with a tone and expression that was trying to be friendly, but came out just a teensy bit menacing "Would ya mind firing more lasers at them, please?"

“Two laser beams coming right up, good sir.” Lara blinked at Rookie and pointed that same look at Parasite and Grundy. She didn’t care that they were robots, to her they were Parasite and Grundy and needed to be brought down. With all the strength of will, she could muster, Lara concentrated, yet all she could charge up were a pair of sparkly eyes.
Shit, not now! she thought, desperate to prove herself, while two powerhouses were getting back up.

Any second now retaliation would come her way. Grundy was almost already at an upright position.

That fact alone was enough to get the fire stared, at least on the inside of Lara. It burned to get out and before she intentionally let it, two concentrated beams fired. At first, they drew a flaming canyon in the floor, until she directed the devastating ray of destruction forward.

Parasite lit up like a Christmas tree, as he was hit and then proceeded to hurl backwards, illumination everything in a purple light.
Grundy, however, just stood there, tall and broad, when the punishment blasted away at his face. “Solomon Grundy. Born on a – Rahhhouuuuu!!!” The crude leather-like surface, that was his face, started dissolving and changing into a chilling skull-like appearance.

“What day was that? Didn’t catch the last part!” Lara cheered, and watched the giant fall backwards and shake the ground as he landed. Feeling a bit out of juice, she wobbled for a second and then felt an enormous force blow her across the room in a flash of light.

The shot originated from Parasite, who seemed more intimidating than ever.

“He absorbs energy, including your laser vision. Had that been the real Parasite, his blast would have been twice the intensity,” Ted explained from the sideline.

“Not helping,” Lara mumbled through her teeth. Almost on instinct she flew sideways and saw a purple hand burry itself into the wall where her head had been a second ago. Now in the air, she kept the momentum and flew over to the side of Rookie, who had proven without a doubt, he could take a punch. A real punch.
Holy shit, we're alive.
@Unknown100

Was wonderin' where ya got to. Can't wait! 8D
Still alive.

Also...

@Roman and @Blue Demon, ya still in this? @Unknown100 and I got a Collab going on in the pad if you want in.
© 2007-2024
BBCode Cheatsheet