Avatar of Tuujaimaa

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4 yrs ago
Current Boy, you're like a pizza cutter: all edge and no point.
3 likes
4 yrs ago
I think I should write a pithy roleplay about how an expenditure of effort does not entitle you to your perception of an equivalent reward. Anyone know someone who'd be interested?
7 likes
5 yrs ago
Okay, let's be honest for a second here, if we stop the status bar from being edgy angst land it really doesn't have anything going for it except sheer autism.
2 likes
6 yrs ago
Does anyone know where you can get a white trilby embroidered with threatening messages? Asking for a friend.
3 likes
6 yrs ago
My genius truly knows no bounds. Only an intellect as glorious as mine can possibly G3T K1D.
3 likes

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Behold the Terrorists of Valhalla:



Behold the Cavemen of Valhalla:

Most Recent Posts

Genjutsu are fiiiiiiiine



i'm sorry yosh paul made me do it

Hyakune, Kyoko


Akaritori and Kei - Office of the Judge-Magister - Kyokujitsugakure


Kei's afternoons were ones of strict routine, but not by choice. At 3 pm every day, she brought paperwork to Akaritori who handled the law enforcement for the village - of course, with a leash from Ayameko to make sure she didn't take justice too far. It was a strict schedule due to Akaritori. The Judge-Magister had a very strict schedule and even Ayameko stressed the importance of not antagonizing her. It just saved time and effort to follow Akaritori's schedule in the afternoons.

Knocking lightly on Akaritori's door before she entered, Kei stepped forward, but much of her body was obscured by the stack of papers that she had been asked to deliver. The new, enhanced forms that Akaritori had requested, as, of course, the previous forms had not had adequate detailing. So, after talking to Yui who managed the village's Grand Library, they had produced new forms that provided greater detailing. Yui had been forced to staff three extra people to handle the extra workload. It was, like Ayameko said, best not to antagonize Akaritori.

Of course, Kei's mere presence was antagonizing to the Judge-Magister. Kei was essentially the exact opposite of the Justice of Kyokujitsugakure. Bright, cheerful, if not a bit naive about the world, Kei had the incredible skill to irritate Akaritori without having to do anything but be in her sensory range, which given Akaritori's skill as a shinobi, meant Akaritori was irritated any time Kei wasn't on a mission outside the village's barrier.

Kei followed the routine and placed the paperwork squarely on the left corner of the desk, making sure the stack was as neat as possible.

"Good afternoon Akaritori, more paperwork for you to sign off on. It should be all of the reports on the incidences for the last two weeks. As always, the minor crimes are on top. I believe your first case is the 30 page report on the 4 year old that walked out of the market with an apple."

The Judge-Magister had even less time than usual for the shenanigans and malarkey that followed her naive counterpart around, having been working on the case of "Litre Boxer" the Apple Thief for most of the morning. Given the locations of several people, the exact apple having been stolen, and the brazen and nonchalant way in which the apple had been taken (she had almost managed to make it look like an accident), Akaritori was convinced that there was a deeper meaning to the seemingly innocent and petty crime and had ordered a full investigation of the child, her family, and her acquaintances. She had also detained the child's neighbours and had them interrogated for good measure in case they were also a part of the devious plot.

Of course, Kei did not believe that the child could possibly have been part of an international smuggling ring and had attributed it to "being forgetful" and "being a child". Of course, Kei's childlike mind immediately jumped to those conclusions - Akaritori could almost smell the black magic wafting off of the little creature as she had brought them in for questioning. Unfortunately, she had not been able to extract much information as the child had started crying after the first question and Kei had gone to fetch the child some apple juice to calm them down. It was almost shocking to think that such an obvious ploy would work - only Kei would be fooled by such a ridiculous notion.

"You know full well that that devil child is hiding something from us and I will get to the bottom of it!" Akaritori replied, almost shouting as she stood up from her desk and snatched the massive file away.

"You had to give her some apple juice to "calm her nerves", didn't you?! That was what she wanted, for you to sympathise with her and believe her story!"

"Lady Ayameko was present at the child's birth. We even had Touzoku and Tokumei check for any jutsu that could have slipped through our defense network. I think we probably could have used the original forms for her case, rather than the enhanced ones," Kei responded to Akaritori. "Did you release her yet from custody?"

"No. She is going to stay in the dungeons until I find out a way to either remove the advanced transformation technique she is using or she confesses her guilt. I am yet to offer her the trial by combat, though... Maybe I should go down and visit her after the forms have been completed. I'm not sure who designed this system, but I should really be allowed to offer a trial by combat before the third set of forms have been processed."

"Ayameko did think you were going to say that so she had me bring this..." Kei said, pulling a scroll out of the pocket of her jacket. "It is a release order for the girl so she can return to her parents." Kei put it on the top of the forms that she had just placed onto the desk for Akaritori to take. The area for the forms were like a feeding tray for a dangerous beast that pevented you from getting bisected by the 'claws or fangs'.

"Please make sure she is released by 3:30." Of course, the girl had already been released. But as Ayameko said it was best not to antagonize Akaritori. The leadership of Kyokujitsgakure had conspired to actually replace the girl with a clone under a very advanced transformation technique, so, in essence, Akaritori was right, there was a conspiracy and an advanced transformation technique - just not executed by an international fruit smuggling ring bent on the destruction of the produce exports for Kyokujitsgakure.

The look of hatred that Akaritori projected at Kei could make even the most keen sensor nin wonder why Akaritori did not possess the Killing Intent technique, and it took every force of will she possessed not to outright attack the girl in the office. Of course, that very same thing had happened multiple times and her skill with barriers made her the perfect foil to Akaritori's swift and brutal kenjutsu. She almost considered attacking Kei for the fun of it, but decided instead to focus on the paperwork that she had been given before finding and attempting to bisect her. After all, a tray full of paperwork was even more infuriating than having the mastermind of an international fruit smuggling ring taken away from you beneath your nose.

"I am sure that you have already released her and made a mockery of my system, so you might as well just do whatever it is you were going to do with the girl on your own. I have paperwork to complete. Also, please note that the mat outside of the door is for wiping your feet on and not leaving dust marks on my pristine floors. Also, could you fetch me some coffee, please? I would get it myself but you have presented me with enough paperwork to keep me busy for half an hour and I could not possibly bring myself to get up and do it myself."

Kei performed a Forced Contract Summoning with a cup of coffee, having already prepared for such a situation.

"Let me know if I need to summon cream and sugar," Kei asked, holding the steaming cup in her hands. Like before, she would place it in the 'feeding tray'.

"I take my coffee like I hunt my magic.

Black."

Kei walked out of the office, smiling to herself as she did so. She always loved spending time with Akaritori in the afternoon.
WIP



As the high elf trudged through the gloaming and the dank that infested the until-recently undisturbed tomb, Aenyarin was very quickly reminded of why she had chosen to step back from the more active parts of her duties. Tombs like this one were not ones she had been intimately familiar with, but she had read enough of the reports to know what could transpire in these hidden-away relics of a civilisation long passed, and she endeavoured first and foremost to not join the ranks of the dead that were laid to rest in here - though she suspected that her own demise may well be significantly more inglorious than the hallowed ceremonies that no doubt accompanied the ancient dead leaving behind their mortal vessels within these very walls.

Merci's magelight was sufficient - it could have been better, she thought - and as it lead the pack of unlikely adventurers further into the depths of the earth, Aenyarin made sure to run over in her mind things that could go wrong. Nordic tombs were frequently infested with traps, and the low light levels did not lend themselves well to rigorously checking wherever one went. Still, if the reports she had read were accurate, the pressure plates that were famous in these tombs had a tendency to exist within the center of the paths to increase the likelihood of the unaware tomb-robbers stepping on them. Aenyarin made a conscious effort to step slightly to the side to avoid any such unfortunate events. When Balen stepped on the very sort of pressure plate she had been worried about triggering herself, she was both amused that one of her lesser companions had triggered the trap, and entirely more derisive that it had been triggered at all. She reasoned to herself that someone had been bound to, but she had expected the Dunmer to be a little more cautious of such things and not quite so wrapped up in his own head that he forgot to look at the ground.

As the draugr begun to animate themselves once more after centuries of inactivity, the group closed in on itself, forming a rough circle with the mages that did not have any obvious physical skills in the center. Aenyarin found herself among the ranks of those in the middle, and begun formulating a plan of action while she still had the luxury of time. When she had to rely on her skill in Destruction magic, Aenyarin had always favoured the element of frost as a means to exhaust her opponents and prolong their suffering - physical pain made the mind much less resistant, after all - but that worked poorly against even living Nords, never mind their deceased brethren. She could hazard a chance at Fire, but she knew very few spells that would not bathe a large area around them in flame and potentially cause harm to people it had no business harming - amusing as it would be to catch the Bosmer or the Nord with a lick of flame, she did not want to endanger herself by endangering her front line of defence against the rising dead.

Unfortunately, before she could finish that train of thought, the dead were already among them. When Venym asked if she could delude the dead into believing that they were still dead, she let out a derisive snort and replied with a haughty quip:

"No more than you can delude your corpses into believing that they're alive again."

The exchange of words did serve as a focal point for the ideas brimming in the Altmer's mind, however, and she may not have been able to delude the dead... But those in the tomb still living could be. She had read once that the illusion of confidence was just as powerful as the real thing, and while she did not know about that specifically, the illusion of an emotion or a state of being often evoked reactions comparable to or greater than the real thing. It was telling of the fragile nature of the mind, and that fragility had always struck Aenyarin as a weak point to be exploited - perhaps there was greater strength in that fragility than she had believed possible. As she allowed the magicka to well up inside her, she concentrated the intent on that of confidence and bravado, a rally, a call to arms. If she could not delude the dead or risk harming the living, then she would put her primary talent to the best use she could by giving her allies the strength of will they needed to fight at their very best.
Jikangai, Yūhi

BEHOLD THE CRAZY SNAKE LADY.



Jikangai, Yūhi





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