Avatar of Tuujaimaa

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Recent Statuses

4 yrs ago
Current Boy, you're like a pizza cutter: all edge and no point.
3 likes
4 yrs ago
I think I should write a pithy roleplay about how an expenditure of effort does not entitle you to your perception of an equivalent reward. Anyone know someone who'd be interested?
7 likes
5 yrs ago
Okay, let's be honest for a second here, if we stop the status bar from being edgy angst land it really doesn't have anything going for it except sheer autism.
2 likes
5 yrs ago
Does anyone know where you can get a white trilby embroidered with threatening messages? Asking for a friend.
3 likes
5 yrs ago
My genius truly knows no bounds. Only an intellect as glorious as mine can possibly G3T K1D.
3 likes

Bio

Behold the Terrorists of Valhalla:



Behold the Cavemen of Valhalla:

Most Recent Posts



it HAD been Karen

all along

there was never anoheter, no,m not even lisaFUCK you lisa you wretched harpy

KAREN had stolen the eggs, the precious eggs with which to make omelettes! The eggs, which had the potential to become children, could become GOTT3N... and if they could GET KID they coiuuld become an UNG3TT3NER of K1D?! but KAREN had stolen them all away, not delivered them, left them sonmwhere to become A GOTT3M3L3TT3!!!!!!! and that ckould not happen, no no, because the INFERNAL had taken all of the kids and so the SEMPITERNAL TWEENBEING had nobody to Fort Nites with or to Nite Forts wioth and deep within her dusty schkull a thought of what once was or perhaps could have been but had since been memorialised as a fortnite dance echoed

we live in a society... rise up G4M3RS...

"Mauris odio dui, tempus? Nec condimentum nec hendrerit nec orci duis? Id facilisis est, a tincidunt!" came the cry, crystal clear, through the woods. Karen didn't stand a chance.

BIUT LO AND BEHOLD

THERE WAS ONLY MARGARET, SCREAMING ABOUT KAREN!

"Fusce ac urna, diam. Mauris pharetra tortor mattis lorem ullamcorper ultrices."

"it WaS KAREN! kill HER! SHE STOLE AWAY THE EGGS! SHE FORGOT THEM, SHE ABANDONED THEM, SHGE LEFT THEM! TREACHEROUS GOOSEKIN!"

"Nulla eget facilisis massa curabitur et cursus nulla quisque eget. Dictum nibh lorem!"

"You CANNOT KILL ME! I AM SO MUCH MORE THAN MARGARET!!!! YOU CANNOT KILL A GOOSE, JUST AS YOU CANNOT KILL JOY! you cannot kill joy you cannot kill joy you cannot kill joy you cann kill joy you can kill joy you kill joy killJOY killJOY killJOY oh it's such rapture, such beneficence, such wondrous agony you killJOY you must join me let me KILL your JOY"

And then, like so many opponents in Fortnite, Margaret was simply gone. There was nothing left, not a speck, not a hint, that she had even been there. And the Sempiternal Tweenbeing thought for a second that she might have felt a tiny speck of something awakening deep within her, a beautiful joy, but then it, too, was simply gone.

"Curabitur venenatis elit sit amet pellentesque Detroit. Mauris pretium dapibus enim et pretium, proin."

And so the Sempiternal Tweenbeing vanished and reppeared in Detroit, ready to begin anew the hunt for TREACHEROUS KAREN AND HER VILE EGG-THIEF WAYS


The Sempiternal Tweenbeing; Forter of Nites; beBearer of the Spade of Hearts; beBearer of the Heart of Spades; Bane of the Gooseking and Goosekind and Goosekin (but not Geesekind); Inheritor of the Space Between the Space Between Spaces; Lord Incumbent of the Fifteenth Seven Two Two Eleven Six 9ety 6ix Bastion of the Time-Quintessence-Ravaged-Infernal-Survivors Therapy Group (on Tuesdays); Last of the Coven Tree’s Witchly Witcherssons; Ravag ██ he Eldrit ██ ██ ██ of Goosyk ██; The Fantastic ████████████ ██████ to ████ ██████████ of Thine Harmed Oncested ForesUnsons.



When Time began, there were not four eternal childbeings, but five.

But then, as Time began, one of the eternal childbeings begin to do what should have impossible.

They grew up.

The Sempiternal Tweenbeing, as they became to be beknown, bebearer of the Heart of Spades and the beSpade of Hearts,

walks the land once again.

or maybe he crawls honestly i'm not sure i'm having a hard time visualising this
OKAY. Here we go.


Land of Lightning Near Target Outpost
After Midnight



"Our success remains guaranteed."

A flippant reply came through the mental network, snarky to the point that a brief mental image of the speaker's face would form in Yurai's mind though it remained physically as stoic and unamused as it had been prior. Kyoko stretched her arms out, brought her hands together, and cracked them in front of her as she surveyed her opponent, standing across a woman clad in bandages so tightly knit that Kyoko could only really observe her general silhouette rather than any defining features. Of course, beneath her veil, there were few of her own features that could be observed--it seemed to be a mirror match of sorts, or perhaps a chessboard. Her opponent clad in white, Kyoko clad in black. Queen versus Pawn.

The match was, of course, going to be much like a chess battle. Kyoko knew that certain steps were required to assure victory, and that following them correctly would lead to a certain victory. A wise man had once written a work that contained many quotes pertinent to warfare and its nuances, and these quotes were not dissimilar to Kyoko's general strategies and style of combat.

"All warfare is based on deception."


A lesson her opponent seemed to have taken to heart as well. The wrappings were an unknown variable--a barrier preventing her from applying her genjutsu in the way that came most naturally to her. Perhaps they were ordinary, but that was an unwise thing to assume. It was unwise to assume anything about an opponent without proper logical cause, and at this point in the conflict it was too early to tell what that would be. Kyoko acted as if she were preparing for a physical conflict--allowing her body to move, to warm up, to get used to the rhythm and flow of combat. Of course, unless the opponents had intel that Kyoko was not aware of, she would not be aware that the true battleground of this skirmish was in the mind.

"Victorious warriors win first and then go to war, while defeated warriors go to war first and then seek to win."


Of course, Kyoko was prepared for practically any eventuality. A prodigious intellect and aptitude for tactics enabled Kyoko to win before she ever stepped foot on a battlefield, but this time she had been caught somewhat unawares. She had not noted the presence of foreign agents in this mission, and this had been a shock to her--but, realistically, it was to be expected. Whenever Yurai was involved, an omen of ill luck was not far behind.

Still, as her opponent suddenly lunged forward, Kyoko's time to think was cut short. At least, it was for the first step.

Suddenly, everything around Kyoko froze. The world was completely still, down to every atom, and Kyoko walked forward as if striding down a red carpet. She walked directly up to the woman and observed her features carefully: examining her body shape, her musculature, the nature of her bandages. There was only so much that sight alone could tell her, and the illusion that she had crafted within her mind could only allow her to iterate upon the information that she had observed before she had begun--and she had had limited information. Still, this was valuable time to consider an approach, and Kyoko spent a solid minute thinking to herself within the confines of her illusory reality. No time had yet passed outside of her mind, but that would change after another moment or so of thought--so Kyoko decided to first observe her opponent's abilities before re-examining the situation. This was not ideal, by any means, but in the absence of advance information she would have to do some battlefield reconnaissance.

Then, suddenly, reality resumed almost exactly where it had left off, and Kyoko allowed her newfound opponent to rush her. She would react in kind if and when the opportunity presented itself.

@Yoshua171


@Eklispe @The 42nd Gecko @Raijinslayer @Innue @Payldue

Kiyo, like the others, had been drawn towards the square by the strange pall of magic that had weaved itself over Toran. Though less outwardly aggressive than the other trainers, Kiyo had channeled the strange energy that she felt into the pursuit of knowledge. She had used her family's name in a manner akin to--but not quite--a battering ram to get into the Library in the dead of night when sleep would not come, and had spent the past six or so hours comparing the information within those tomes to the portable records of her family's library on her PDA. When she arrived in the square she looked positively haggard and thoroughly frazzled, but the main look on her face was still overwhelming dispassion rather than outright frustration or frenetic energy.

She stood by Selim, acknowledging his presence with a bow, as she continued to delve into a tome held open with her left hand. Mythrael lounged near her, seemingly unaffected by the various goings-on, though her and Kiyo were mentally dissecting much of their findings over the night. Her own natural telepathy, inquisitive magical nature, and mastery over a strange and esoteric magic had enabled her to bond very closely with her Mythrael even in the short period of time they'd known one another. They still had a way to go, but the species were generally of human or above level intelligence, and it was more like Kiyo had made a friend than captured a magical creature to serve her--the level of autonomy she offered the Mythrael even after a few days was considerably more than most were willing to.

Kiyo found herself remarkably curious as to precisely what the Old Man was offering. Magic had existed before the Four--anyone with access to the Archmages' library could tell you that--but anything beyond that was fuzzy. Many of the ancient accounts were... apocryphal at best, and Kiyo had never known which bits of it to take as gossip and exagguration and which bits of it were deeply rooted in truth. For that reason alone, she stepped forward past the swarm of Yata-Garasu and waited for more exposition.

The Strange Old Man seemed not to actually respond to any of the inquiries levied at him by the assorted crowd of trainers, instead repeating his spiel about being able to teach the trainers ancient magic. Once a sizeable enough crowd had gathered, however, the Yata-Garasu seemed to flock in a circle around the old man. The birds were clearly preventing anybody from leaving, offering hisses and squawks at anyone who attempted--such as Süne. If he did not get the picture and stay comfortably within the circle, they would very clearly not hesitate to attack him and it seemed unlikely that he would survive the barrage that the incredibly powerful creatures could bombard him with.

"The Four have lied to you! The Magic of eld still exists, unaffected by the imposition of the Void, and I can teach you... I will teach you, Akasha be damned! If you wish to learn... you need only stay close to me. If you do not desire the power to unlock your magical potential, then I will not force you to stay... but an ill omen will fall upon you! Those who refuse true power shall be consumed by those brave enough to take it!"

The Old Man seemed to have hit a patch of lucidity, contrasting his earlier babbling and madness, and was drawing a small symbol onto the ground with his staff, and those learned in the finer points of the magical arts would be able to tell that he was drawing upon a kind of magic they had never experienced. It was wild and chaotic, rushing through them and into the ground below them. After only a second or so, a streak of crimson and violent energy leaped up from the ground with a blinding flash, and suddenly the entire square seemed to have been engulfed by a dome of earth. The Old Man continued to mutter and perform odd movements with his staff, and the Yata-Garasu began to caw out a cacophonous shriek in unison with the Old Man's actions. Very soon the vibration within the dome was a tangible, physical thing that was gripping their skulls with a rising pressure until there was a 'pop' and all of a sudden it was all gone, as were all except three of the Yata-Garasu, who remained perched on the Old Man's staff.

The earthen dome crumbled away, and each of the trainers found themselves in a clearing in a forest. It still seemed to be Toran, from the ambient temperature and weather conditions, but the lot of them had just been transported in a way that seemed to not be possible by any known metric of magic. This would, at least, confirm that the Old Man's claims of knowing ancient and powerful magic were certainly not false.

"Those who wish to learn, follow me into the cave." The Old Man stated, gesturing with his staff towards a yawning portal of stone on the northern edge of the clearing.

"The others... You may wait here until the choice has been made. Then you will be allowed to leave."

And with that, he began to walk into the cave, waiting for the other trainers to make their choices.
The Word

"JUSTICE! But not, like, G̀r̸̵̕̕͡é̛͢͜͞g҉̶'s justice. More... JUSTICE!"

The Potion

"Drink me. Nothing bad will happen. At least, not to you."



As the trainers all made their respective ways in Toran after Yugaku's gathering, and a thick blanket of inky blackness covered the sky, the stirrings of some ancient and inscrutable force progressed in frequency and intensity. The most magically apt in the city might notice a strange influx of magical energy that seemed to not fit in any of the categories of study formally recognised by the Mages' Guild, the spiritually aware might notice some ordinarily unseen tension straining against the fabric of the world, and the plain lucky might catch a deeper scent of rich, metallic blood in their noses that would give them pause for thought. Whatever people might notice, or not notice at all, something had people in Toran on edge--many of the new trainers would likely seek solace and refuge in the idea that it was just jitters from taking their first step outside of comfort and into adventure and seek to rationalise away what they felt or observed, just as they would be sure that their parents had done so before them, and theirs before them.

Night would not pass uneventfully. Those trainers who engaged in nocturnal activities beyond the purview of normal folk (perhaps foraging for herbs, or looking for nocturnal Natrelmon, or studying deeply tomes of powerful and forbidden magic) would feel the static of apprehension dancing upon the nape of their neck, and the cries of a wolf punctuated the otherwise eerie silence with bursts of frenetic energy. Something about the howling stirred the blood, and when Indolu gave way to Ielle come morn there would be reports of many more fights than usual breaking out in the streets and none of the trainers would have slept well at all. Even today that strange howling would vibrate in their skulls, exciting their blood with a restlessness that just wouldn't quite go away--at some point during the day each of them would be compelled to leave their hotels or inns and do something to burn off some excess energy. Toran was a big city, there was no doubt of that, and some strange auspice would have them all meander their way towards a small square hidden away from the more open areas of the city by edifices of blackened stone.

The Trainers beginning their Rites were likely not familiar with all of Atren's various legends and myths and folklore regarding specific Natrelmon, but there were a couple of tales that practically everyone had heard: The Four and their lieutenants; Lancelot and Medraut and their search for the spectral dragon Albion; Yata-Garasu and their calamitous predilections towards ill-omen. It was the latter story that each of the trainers walking into the square would recall as more of the aforementioned creatures than they had ever seen before flocked together in a single place. Every arch, every corner, every lamppost had one of the fabled Yata-Garasu perched upon it, its three legs clamped tightly in place while its head twisted and turned curiously.

Many of the trainers would never have gotten the chance to see a Yata-Garasu up close and personal, so this would be a good opportunity for them to study: they were notably at least three times the size of a normal crow (and crows were already fairly large), and laced within their ebon plumage were crackles of rusty red sparks of dull energy that seemed to flare up at the most random intervals with equally queer spikes of intensity. The beaks of the birds were much unlike ordinary beaks, curved in a shape that could only be described as a tomoe found in the heraldry of Sakura, but tapering not to a smooth and rounded edge but a wicked, gleaming point. Two beady black eyes peered out from the head, with a third directly above it, occluded by what appeared to be white mist, frantically darting back and forth in every which direction one could think of. It was the third eye that had truly given them their reputations as harbingers of ill-omen, said to be seeking calamitous paths that the future could take and directing events towards them wherever possible. Indeed, none had ever spoken of a Yata-Garasu and anything remotely approaching words of joy and happiness in the same sentence except perhaps ironically.

It was exceedingly odd, then, that maybe thirty of these extremely rare and ominous creatures had congregated at dawn in the city of Toran. Amidst them all, stood by a gently bubbling fountain, was an elderly man grasping an enormously oversized staff and teetering precariously to keep his grip upon it. The Yata-Garasu seemed especially drawn to it, and him, and they clambered across its many branches and a cacophonous clamour of squawks filled the air. The trainers who made their way there would find that he had already amassed quite a following--and seemed to explicitly be gathering them away from the hustle and bustle of the city in order to speak to them.

"Yes, yes... I can teach you the ways of the old magic, before the times of the Four! A strange and powerful magic, afeared by all, yes yes... Has anyone seen my staff? I normally keep it right here..." the Old Man voiced loudly, in a somehow simultaneously sonorous and senile manner, as his free right hand patted over his belly. He seemed to be indicating that he normally kept his staff in his pants, but given that he was already holding it and that it was absolutely prodigious in size, that seemed to be quite the impossibility.

As the trainers settled into the square, he would be broken from his musings. The Old Man shouted and gesticulated wildly, beckoning them over to him, as he continued to go on about being able to teach them strange and potent magic. His claims would be easy to dismiss entirely if not for the veritable army of extremely rare Yata-Garasu that seemed to be at his beck and call.
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