Beatrix said
I'm here... Kinda. I'm still brainstorming for my dark elf character back story. It will have smexietimez in it. And I'm also in Esper's tc.

Which one is Esper's TC?

I once tried to talk to a girl the old fashioned way. She barely knew me, we had a class last year. She could barely hear me in the hall, we never got passed names. I tried to talk to her another day. It looked like she was talking to someone else, and I stood behind her for thirty seconds not wanting to interrupt her, and I ended up leaving without talking to her. I haven't said anything to her since.

The funny part is that the only things she would remember me for are that and the speech I gave to her Theater tech class for Speech about a family being brutally and accidentally killed in a house fire on Halloween. She probably thinks I'm crazy, which I'm partially proud of.

Jorick said
Not even close to the most sacrilegious things you can do. How about doing things on the grounds of an actual church rather than the parking lot of a business owned by religious people? How about doing things with a priest or nun or whatever? How about engaging in homosexual relations on a pile of holy texts?So many things you could do to be more sacrilegious than getting head in a parking lot.

But are they sacrilicious...?

Hmm...

Oh! I got one :p

Last year my older brother bought an engagement ring so he could propose to his girlfriend and he hid it at our house in my room. So one day they came over because we were going somewhere, I went into my room to change and my older brother came charging in because he wanted to look at the ring. I shouted, "What the fuck dude!? I'm changing! Get the hell out!" And his girlfriend was so damn confused and yelled at him too XD

We couldn't tell her he was looking at her engagement ring so she was just really confused for awhile and probably thinking, "What the hell have I gotten myself into with this family?"

Jorick said
Not even close to the most sacrilegious things you can do. How about doing things on the grounds of an actual church rather than the parking lot of a business owned by religious people? How about doing things with a priest or nun or whatever? How about engaging in homosexual relations on a pile of holy texts?So many things you could do to be more sacrilegious than getting head in a parking lot.

How about making a burger out of an unconsecrated communion wafer?

Because that's a thing.

I'm playing Dark Souls AND engaging in shitty internet discussion

I can fucking multitask

I'm the future

I'm trying to think of another story that is PG rated embarrassment.

I have so many that are not.

idlehands said
I'm trying to think of another story that is PG rated embarrassment.

uhhhhhhh excuse me

We are adults

We should be getting PG-13, please

And sparkling grapejuice

Kill Bones said
I'm playing Dark Souls AND engaging in shitty internet discussionI can fucking multitaskI'm the future

I got your Dark Souls right here.

Card said
Which one is Esper's TC?

You made it in, but I was kinda talking to Mike at the time.

Beatrix said
You made it in, but I was kinda talking to Mike at the time.

Yeah, I thought it was that one. A little dead at the moment, so I'll give it a bit

That was pretty awkward Card.

Ok, I got one that still makes me red in the face. When I was like 19 and working at the college I was going to as a tutor I had a major crush on this Brazilian guy who worked as a math tutor. He was really cute, funny and very nice. I was, at the time, really inexperienced around guys so I had no idea how to approach him. One day I needed a ride home and I got the guts to ask him if he could give me one.

Being a nice guy he took me home and the whole trip I'm tongue tied and staring out the window, totally blowing my opportunity to talk to him. We get to my house and I'm trying to thank him for the ride and the same time get out of the car but I'm still pretty nervous so I manage to hook my foot on the seat belt and fall right out of the car right onto the side walk, face first, flat out on the ground.

Being the nice guy he was he got out to help me, asking me if I was ok. I could have just died right there. Let the sidewalk swallow me whole. He never laughed or anything but I felt like a total fool. It cured my crush on him though. I couldn't look at him for a week and then found out he had a girlfriend anyway.

TL;DR Crush on hot Brazilian guy ends when I fall on my face in front of him.

idlehands said
That was pretty awkward Card. Ok, I got one that still makes me red in the face. When I was like 19 and working at the college I was going to as a tutor I had a major crush on this Brazilian guy who worked as a math tutor. He was really cute, funny and very nice. I was, at the time, really inexperienced around guys so I had no idea how to approach him. One day I needed a ride home and I got the guts to ask him if he could give me one. Being a nice guy he took me home and the whole trip I'm tongue tied and staring out the window, totally blowing my opportunity to talk to him. We get to my house and I'm trying to thank him for the ride and the same time get out of the car but I'm still pretty nervous so I manage to hook my foot on the seat belt and fall right out of the car right onto the side walk, face first, flat out on the ground. Being the nice guy he was he got out to help me, asking me if I was ok. I could have just died right there. Let the sidewalk swallow me whole. He never laughed or anything but I felt like a total fool. It cured my crush on him though. I couldn't look at him for a week and then found out he had a girlfriend anyway.TL;DR Crush on hot Brazilian guy ends when I fall on my face in front of him.

Yeah, you win the awkward story award.

I still wish I could talk to the girl, but I'm getting the feeling that I have no clue what to do after that either. Her saying no would probably be the best thing. I can't even drive even though I could have by now.

Well, whatever. That's life.

Clearly he was used to having his women face down on the sidewalk

Drunken embarrassing stories!

Back when when I was 22 or so, I was up in Northern Alberta. I was working two jobs, busting my ass during the day, and din't really know anyone other than my sister and her friends. Being Northern Alberta, there is sweet fuck all to do, other than go to the 1 club in the surrounding 100+ km, and get shittered. So, that's what we did. Go to the club, 2 double shots of whiskey, then two pitchers of whiskey and coke would get me drunk enough to dance. One night...I think there might have been another double or two in there....I was at the stage of drunkeness that no fucks were given. So random "hot chick" started grinding on me. Problem: me being a young, inexperienced shut in, awkward as hell didn't know what to do.....so just went with it. Then got thirst and walked away. Seriously, just left her in the middle of the dance floor, walked to the bar, and got myself another pitcher of whiskey and coke, sat down, and drank.

Course, all I remember is that she was shorter than me (and I'm 5'8"), was blonde, and not fat (vague memory is vague). So, considering that this club was notorious for letting minors in? Also that STDs fly around there like flies on a carcass? Maybe it was for the best....still awkward as hell though.

Card said
Yeah, you win the awkward story award.

Only because I'm not participating.

Awson said
Only because I'm not participating.

Join us.

I don't have time to write an entire autobiography.

Just close your eyes and pick a memory.

idlehands said
I"m drunk on Jim Beam

This was me last night. Now I'm just sober and tired ):

Ugh I hate that feeling. I'm sobering up now, getting that headache.