Is that a hint of the topic?!?!
Gwynbleidd Summon The Bitches
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4 yrs ago
RomanAria 𝕋𝕙𝕖 𝕊𝕟𝕦𝕘𝕘𝕝𝕖 𝕊𝕚𝕟𝕘𝕦𝕝𝕒𝕣𝕚𝕥𝕪
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3 mos ago
Maybe it is, maybe it isn't. :3
Keyguyperson Welcome to Cyberhell
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6 mos ago
Plot twists? This will be interesting.
Dedonus Kai su teknon;
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1 mo ago
Plot twists? This will be interesting.
That Jean Gray wasn't Jean Gray in the (Dark) Phoenix Saga. What?
Keyguyperson Welcome to Cyberhell
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6 mos ago
ayzrules CEO of staying up all night
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3 mos ago
@Keyguyperson yes, i agree haha why i voted! i had such a hard time deciding tbh
OP
I'm sometimes glad I don't have to pick! I would've wrestled with this vote pretty hard.
But for all of you who DO vote -- last call! We close up tomorrow, and remember, surprises coming!
But for all of you who DO vote -- last call! We close up tomorrow, and remember, surprises coming!
Gwynbleidd Summon The Bitches
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4 yrs ago
2x Like
ayzrules CEO of staying up all night
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3 mos ago
@ayzrules
For real though. Picking a winner, let alone a runner up is nearly impossible!
i know!!!! omg
OP
Winner – Never Forget by @Keyguyperson!
With five votes (and two tiebreaker points), it’s no surprise that this monumental entry took the big cake. Talk about setting the bar high!
Runner up
Well, hey, so the tiebreaker votes aren’t really helping us out on this point, heh… And since there isn’t a clear runner-up in the popular vote, we’re going to call it an honorable mention, and recognize everybody who earned a vote from the adoring public. So take a minute to congratulate the following authors on their accomplishment:
For Blue Skies – @Dark Wind
Go West – @Jozarin
Novocain – @Apokalipse
Kings – @Byrd Man
Still Waiting – @ayzrules
What do you say? – @Alice
Raggle-Taggle Gypsy – @silverwolfangel
Steppin’ Out – @Darcs
Kataigida – @Blitz
Before I get to the staff picks, let’s take a moment to thank the guys working on this contest’s crew – I know I’m sort of absconding with most of the credit, just because my name goes in front of the ‘officialized’ posts, but these folks are making it all happen. @Darcs, @Roflsmazoy, @Clark, @Mr_pink, and @Lovleand worked their tails off to bring this contest to life, and they deserve just as many thumbs-ups and medal-shaped-thingy thanks as you can give them. And one final shout-out to @Jorick and the rest of the planning committee, as well as @Brovo and @Kaga and all the Writer of the Month team members that came before. And of course @Mahz and @HeySeuss and the rest of the forum staff for their continued support. AND TO YOU, of course, for reading, writing, reviewing, and saying nice things about each other's work. You're the most important part. OKAY! I’m droning. I do that sometimes. Let’s have the staff picks!
Inside Baseball – Most liberal use of obscure musical terms
The staff selected ‘Raggle-Taggle Gypsy,’ by @silverwolfangel, who also earned an honorable mention.
Idlest Delilah -- You deviated the least from the original story of the song.
In this closely-contested bonus category, the staff decided on ‘At the English Fair’ by @Kirah. It was, after all, as lovely as a bunch of coconuts, and just as magical too.
George Co-stanza - Awarded for the shortest, angriest verse. *drops mic*
Nobody dropped the mic quite as hard as @Apokalipse in “Novocaine,” which also earned him an honorable mention in the vote.
Poetic Justice - Use the same rhyme scheme or cadence as the song.
In perhaps our most deliberated category (right up there with Idlest Delilah anyway), we decided to recognize the brilliant pacing of ‘Kataigida’ by @Blitz, whose poetry matched his musical score in pacing, tone, and awe. ‘Kataigida’ also earned an honorable mention in the vote.
BUT WAIT! THERE’S MORE!
As we talked over our choices, we quickly came to the realization that our categories weren’t quite capable of recognizing all the effort that went into these entries. In particular, the song ‘Homesick,’ written and performed by @Kakashi Hatake, stuck out to the crew as over-and-above the contest’s expectations of effort and excellence, in a unique and surprising way. So, to reward this creative ingenuity, and to inspire future contestants to similar valiant acts of uniqueness, we are establishing a tradition that will (hopefully!) recur every now and again throughout the life of RPGC, and that is (tentatively!) THE TOAST! This trophy (ahem, when the trophy system is up, cough cough) will not be given out every contest – it will be granted only to super-special pieces that take the theme and run with it beyond what the crew imagined possible. It’s a very special award and hopefully, a coveted trophy – but more than that, it’s recognizing a fantastic bit of work by a dedicated member. So once again, congratulations to @Kakashi Hatake, the first-ever winner of the RPGC TOAST!
(incidentally as the first winner, Kakashi gets a say in what we’re actually calling this award, so THE TOAST may turn into a rhinoceros with a toupe or something, POINT IS, it’s special, right? Right!)
NOW FOR THE SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT!
You'll notice that the subforum reads "Writing Contests," plural. That's because when I sat down with Mahz and the moderators, we all agreed that this little section is here for the writers, the members, and anybody who wanted to put something together for the community would always be welcome. That's why I'm excited to announce that for the next few weeks, we're shifting our attention to a new contest for you all to enjoy. @Terminal has been putting together a competition called "The Twelve Labors," a series of challenges designed to stretch writers beyond their comfort zones and develop new skills, or refine practiced ones. "The Twelve Labors" will begin right now, and we here at RPGC are are just tickled that we get to be a small part of the grand introduction. But of course Terminal can explain it all better than I can, so -- take a moment to enjoy the results here, and of course carry on any discussions you like about the winners, about what you wrote, what you said about a piece, or anything else that may seem worthwhile. But when you've got a moment, pop on over to The Twelve Labors -- have a look around, see what they're all about, and of course write something -- I know I will! RPGC will return on April 30th with a powerful new installment. We'll be working alongside Terminal and all the Twelve Labors folks to bring you the best contest experience RPG can offer.
Sound like fun? Remember you can sign up to help at any time. We could always use more creative people behind the scenes, and if this contest taught us anything, it's that we've got loads of creative people around here! Alright, enough from mdk, go write something already!
Terminal Rancorous Narrative Proxy
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27 days ago
Surprise.
OP
PLOT TWIST!
Psyga315 From Shadows
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2 yrs ago
You'll notice that the subforum reads "Writing Contests," plural. That's because when I sat down with Mahz and the moderators, we all agreed that this little section is here for the writers, the members, and anybody who wanted to put something together for the community would always be welcome. That's why I'm excited to announce that for the next few weeks, we're shifting our attention to a new contest for you all to enjoy. @Terminal has been putting together a competition called "The Twelve Labors," a series of challenges designed to stretch writers beyond their comfort zones and develop new skills, or refine practiced ones. "The Twelve Labors" will begin right now, and we here at RPGC are are just tickled that we get to be a small part of the grand introduction. But of course Terminal can explain it all better than I can, so -- take a moment to enjoy the results here, and of course carry on any discussions you like about the winners, about what you wrote, what you said about a piece, or anything else that may seem worthwhile. But when you've got a moment, pop on over to The Twelve Labors -- have a look around, see what they're all about, and of course write something -- I know I will! RPGC will return on April 30th with a powerful new installment. We'll be working alongside Terminal and all the Twelve Labors folks to bring you the best contest experience RPG can offer.
So wait, does that mean that anyone can make a contest or did I misread something?
RomanAria 𝕋𝕙𝕖 𝕊𝕟𝕦𝕘𝕘𝕝𝕖 𝕊𝕚𝕟𝕘𝕦𝕝𝕒𝕣𝕚𝕥𝕪
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3 mos ago
<Snipped quote by mdk>
So wait, does that mean that anyone can make a contest or did I misread something?
I do believe so, as long as you clear it with Mahz and mdk.
Psyga315 From Shadows
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2 yrs ago
<Snipped quote by Psyga315>
I do believe so, as long as you clear it with Mahz and mdk.
Ah, I see. Had an idea for a contest... Hm...
Blitz Blazing Boy
Member
Seen
2 yrs ago
sobbing how did I win even a staff picks lol
but I'm humbled <3
anywhoooooooo, let's look at this twelve labors, now...
but I'm humbled <3
im gonna post up the rest of my reviews but I don't think I'm gonna finish all of them. A) because the contest is over now and it all feels so anticlimactic, and B) I don't think my reviews are very helpful anyway :( but if for some reason you're dying for one, just tell me and I could do it for ya. It's your funeral.
anywhoooooooo, let's look at this twelve labors, now...
OP
<Snipped quote by mdk>
So wait, does that mean that anyone can make a contest or did I misread something?
Yes*. But bear a few things in mind -- one, it's a lot of work, and two, RPGC is built the way it is so that people can join the staff and try their ideas right here.
*the only hangup is that the contest submissions schedule fills up real fast, so at some point a discussion will be had about standards and limitations and whatnot.
Psyga315 From Shadows
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2 yrs ago
<Snipped quote by Psyga315>
Yes*. But bear a few things in mind -- one, it's a lot of work, and two, RPGC is built the way it is so that people can join the staff and try their ideas right here.
*the only hangup is that the contest submissions schedule fills up real fast, so at some point a discussion will be had about standards and limitations and whatnot.
Hm... Noted.
PlatinumSkink
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8 days ago
Alright, then. That’s a worthy win. … Well. And good job to everyone else. Now, onto my little reveal.
I was the author of Little Me. I was inspired because the Nightcore version of the song I chose was absolutely awesome. I’d honestly have preferred if the video of the official version didn’t have people talking, but eh, that one’s pretty good too. I figured I could make something out of it. And I did. The result seems to have spawned largely positive reviews but nobody who seems to consider it a winning entry. Lesse. Let’s check out the reviews I got.
Your opinion doesn’t matter. This was a fake review anyways, and the point I say I’ll probably take up in Holmishire’s review anyway. Next!
The lead being a bit slow was probably intentional, something I did automatically to theme her dreary life. Roared aloud… felt appropriate, maybe it wasn’t. XD … SIMPLY, used to SIMPLY allowing things to. I don’t see the problem with “as my best years had ended”, but I’ll keep it in mind. … That should be MY fist, yeah, remnant from when I changed the text from third to first-person due to more personal feeling of power, I thought I got all those… XD … That should be ‘was’, yeah. Wider sounds stupid. “My eyes widened in surprise”, maybe. Oh, well. Thank you very much for your praise. Yeah, she was too busy feeling good about herself and being exhausted to question the existence of what just happened. Tihi.
Nah, periods could never replace the pure usefulness of ellipses. That would make the characters sound way too sure of themselves. When portraying doubt, hesitation, fear, awe or any other emotion, ellipses drive the emotion home. Just periods everywhere would render the text life-less, honestly. … Well, not if the text is happy or positive, there are plenty of texts without ellipses that can convey the necessary emotions, but this text here would lose A LOT if I removed them. Simple as that. Thanks for enjoying my entry~! Yeah, lyrics as speech did simply feel right, there. Not sure if it worked out well, but it FELT right. Haha. Yes, it was meant to stir on that emotion, just as the song had. Thanks for enjoying.
I’m happy you enjoyed it. Tihi. … Yeah, I did go through the text to try to eliminate as many such things as possible, as I have in fact been informed how to do in previous reviews on my entries on this site / previous versions of this site, but it seems some slipped through. Haha. And yes, it is an awesome song but the one part I do not like about it is that the singer is essentially blaming her past self, and that doesn’t quite sit right with me, so it didn’t feel right to have blaming her past self actually work. I would sincerely like to think those who maybe did take some wrong turns in the past has hopes, too. Hence how it ended. Thank you very much for the praises. I am rather proud of it, after all. Can’t compare to THAT *points at the winner*, but yeah, I’m proud of it.
Tihi. Allow me to smile. I am very happy that you say that I write in a way that is very easy to visualize. It means I succeeded in what I was going for, at least for you and numerous others. And yes, I’m a sucker for a happy ending, as such that is the kind of endings that I do the most. Positive emotions are just great. Thank you very much for this review~! Oh, I feel so happy now. What should I do with these emotions? Haha.
I MIGHT have used a little bit many ellipses, but eh. Wonder if people read ellipses different from how I do? Oh, well. … The dialogue, eh? The part I didn’t write myself because I just inserted the lyrics… XD … Yeah, I admit, it got a little clunky here and there, and I had to be careful what I wrote in between the lyrics to make sure to transfer the message I wanted. Though some, like “Felt so big but you look so small”, what does that mean and how does it fit here? XD … Oh, well. I’m not entirely sure how to change the rest of it so it appeals to you more, but I’ll certainly not stop trying. That goes to everyone~! … The student within me is slightly irked I didn’t get a B, at least! XD … Though, thanks for calling my plot meaningful, though I pretty much stole it from the song~!
… And that’s about that. Thank you very much~! … Yeah.
I was the author of Little Me. I was inspired because the Nightcore version of the song I chose was absolutely awesome. I’d honestly have preferred if the video of the official version didn’t have people talking, but eh, that one’s pretty good too. I figured I could make something out of it. And I did. The result seems to have spawned largely positive reviews but nobody who seems to consider it a winning entry. Lesse. Let’s check out the reviews I got.
… Heh. This entry made me smirk. Nicely done. Pretty inspirational song you chose, there, and put an amusing little twist on the contents. The speech did sound a little odd, mostly because you blended in the lyrics into the text, but I see what you were doing so it’s fine. Pretty creative. … Really, that is all I have to say. I’m not sure I’d consider it for vote, others affected me more, but I like it. That’s about it.
Your opinion doesn’t matter. This was a fake review anyways, and the point I say I’ll probably take up in Holmishire’s review anyway. Next!
- Theme: Very good.
- Organization: The lead in was a bit slow, but I did like the conclusion. The end wasn't really powerful, or dramatic, but it did leave off on a triumphant note. (She seems to take the whole time traveling, parallel dimension paradox thing very well though~Hm.)
- Voice: The voice was powerful, and very well done.
- Word Choice "Roared" already implies loudness, so "aloud" is redundant. "I had become used to simple allowing things to.." doesn't make any sense, I feel there are some missing words? "But now... as my best years had ended," Also doesn't fit well. "As my" implies the thing is current, "ended" implies that it has past already. Something more appropriate would have been "But now... as my best years came to an end" or even just taking out "had" would have made it fit better.
"I tightened her fists" probably should have been "my fists" as "her" refers to the girl in the picture. "Way more energetic than I were" the last word there would fit better as "was". You also state that the character opens her eyes wide in surprise, but never mention beforehand that they were closed, rather, she was already wide eyed. Perhaps you meant to say "I opened my eyes wider, surprised.." and so forth.- Sentence Fluency: Flowed very well.
- Conventions: Mechanical correctness of the piece seems pretty well, nothing really jumped out at me.
- Overall: Fairly enjoyed this piece. Well done.
The lead being a bit slow was probably intentional, something I did automatically to theme her dreary life. Roared aloud… felt appropriate, maybe it wasn’t. XD … SIMPLY, used to SIMPLY allowing things to. I don’t see the problem with “as my best years had ended”, but I’ll keep it in mind. … That should be MY fist, yeah, remnant from when I changed the text from third to first-person due to more personal feeling of power, I thought I got all those… XD … That should be ‘was’, yeah. Wider sounds stupid. “My eyes widened in surprise”, maybe. Oh, well. Thank you very much for your praise. Yeah, she was too busy feeling good about herself and being exhausted to question the existence of what just happened. Tihi.
Ellipses. So many ellipses. You could really just stick with periods, honestly. Sorry, it has become a pet peeve of mine. Mostly because I used to abuse ellipses and when I noticed it, it has ticked me off ever since. Not that I'm holding that against you. That's not a horribly major thing wrong with your work. In fact, I enjoyed your entry.
I thought adding the lyrics of the song into the speech was an interesting choice. Although sometimes it made it read awkwardly. Understand what you were trying to do, and I appreciate the stylistic choices. Some just don't work out as much as we'd like. Though it wasn't a terrible choice. The message still got through, and it was a powerful one.
Great, positive meaning from this piece. All of you seem to be hitting on messages that I can relate to. Definitely feel as though we can relate to the idea of regret and wishing we did things differently. Making our voices and opinions heard. Taking what we want, or at least making an effort to take what we want. Good work!
Nah, periods could never replace the pure usefulness of ellipses. That would make the characters sound way too sure of themselves. When portraying doubt, hesitation, fear, awe or any other emotion, ellipses drive the emotion home. Just periods everywhere would render the text life-less, honestly. … Well, not if the text is happy or positive, there are plenty of texts without ellipses that can convey the necessary emotions, but this text here would lose A LOT if I removed them. Simple as that. Thanks for enjoying my entry~! Yeah, lyrics as speech did simply feel right, there. Not sure if it worked out well, but it FELT right. Haha. Yes, it was meant to stir on that emotion, just as the song had. Thanks for enjoying.
First of all, that's not a song I've ever heard and I had to stop reading so I could listen to it all. Awesome stuff! Okay, on to the story -- so good. It's pure character, raw, and I mean yes, the monologue is pretty much straight out of the lyrics but you made it mean so much more than just the words, I've got no complaints at all. We could talk writing style a little bit -- you slip into passive voice a little more than you should, especially in the first paragraph (which *almost* works, as like a memory device, but even then it's just a bit too much). Most of the writing is raw and powerful, but every now and then the character "had pushed" something instead of just "pushing" it, or whatever, you know? Those little actions are stronger when you're direct about them, and they do need to stay strong (especially with such a strong story to tell). The end left me wishing that the 'spell' had worked completely -- that she'd put down the picture frame on her billionaire CEO desk or something, but you kept it a little more grounded and real -- Big Me is still left with the consequences of her life, and that's.... I mean, wow, that's good. Seriously, wow. I totally would've taken the easy way out if I was writing -- you did way better than I would've done. All in all, positively great. A ding here and there for language but it's almost negligible (ALMOST). You can take care of business in that department, I'm sure. Great job.
I’m happy you enjoyed it. Tihi. … Yeah, I did go through the text to try to eliminate as many such things as possible, as I have in fact been informed how to do in previous reviews on my entries on this site / previous versions of this site, but it seems some slipped through. Haha. And yes, it is an awesome song but the one part I do not like about it is that the singer is essentially blaming her past self, and that doesn’t quite sit right with me, so it didn’t feel right to have blaming her past self actually work. I would sincerely like to think those who maybe did take some wrong turns in the past has hopes, too. Hence how it ended. Thank you very much for the praises. I am rather proud of it, after all. Can’t compare to THAT *points at the winner*, but yeah, I’m proud of it.
Never heard of the song, but I like. It’s inspirational. I can see how you came up with your story. Actually, what you did was pretty cool, with the whole… well, it isn’t exactly time travel, but the narrator did end up altering the past.
I’d say you write in a way which is very easy to visualize, especially the dialogue. I could clearly see, in detail, the narrator screaming at the picture in frustration and anger, and her voice on the edge of cracking… Yes. Very, very good. I liked the happy ending with “Little Me” and “Big Me” both end up going their separate lives, happily and excitedly, to turn their life around!
Tihi. Allow me to smile. I am very happy that you say that I write in a way that is very easy to visualize. It means I succeeded in what I was going for, at least for you and numerous others. And yes, I’m a sucker for a happy ending, as such that is the kind of endings that I do the most. Positive emotions are just great. Thank you very much for this review~! Oh, I feel so happy now. What should I do with these emotions? Haha.
C+
Suffers from an excess of ellipses. I like the plot, the time-parallels, and some of the description, but the dialogue fell short. The intent was clear, didn't feel polished her thoughtfully constructed—just a barrage of sudden emotion which, while perhaps accurate, isn't the most powerful narratively.
Why I would not vote for this entry:
12. Dialogue.
Why I would vote for this entry:
12. Meaningful plot.
I MIGHT have used a little bit many ellipses, but eh. Wonder if people read ellipses different from how I do? Oh, well. … The dialogue, eh? The part I didn’t write myself because I just inserted the lyrics… XD … Yeah, I admit, it got a little clunky here and there, and I had to be careful what I wrote in between the lyrics to make sure to transfer the message I wanted. Though some, like “Felt so big but you look so small”, what does that mean and how does it fit here? XD … Oh, well. I’m not entirely sure how to change the rest of it so it appeals to you more, but I’ll certainly not stop trying. That goes to everyone~! … The student within me is slightly irked I didn’t get a B, at least! XD … Though, thanks for calling my plot meaningful, though I pretty much stole it from the song~!
… And that’s about that. Thank you very much~! … Yeah.
1x Like
Psyga315 From Shadows
Member
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2 yrs ago
I guess I'll reveal myself too and say that I was the one who wrote Escalation of Two Brothers. I thank you all for those who have taken the time to review my work.
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