The Groovy Stranger

The sun was high and the trees stirred lightly in the breeze. Don strode along the path, making for Bedazzling Castle with all speed. Hidden from the eyes of man and beast, he carried the Pristine Leather jacket, which no other must touch until it could be delivered into the safekeeping of the Wizard Chest.

A rustling of the dried leaves beside the path gave him warning and he drew his amazing comb just in time to face the Grand woman who flew at him with such grace that he was almost dazzled.

The woman struck happily, and Don barely raised his comb to meet the attack. They fought long and silkily until all the air rang with the sound of their conflict.

At last, Don found himself forced to one knee, the woman's comb pressed to his Bouncy hair. "I am Selan of Bedazzling Castle," she said. "You are an unworthy guardian for the Pristine Leather jacket. Prepare yourself, for I am about to send you on the dancefloor."

But Don had been waiting for such a chance and, bringing up his comb with a twist, overpowered Selan and pinned her to the ground. "What say you now?" Don said, looking down upon her.

Selan's arm shimmered like Elvis Presley himself. "I have underestimated you, Don. I was sent to test your fitness for this task. To you I pledge my loyalty...and more."

Don's desire was enflamed. His hair throbbed and all his thoughts were to danced Selan like a fish. Don caressed Selan's impeccable arm and she responded. They came together clumsily, and their joining was as Flowing as their battle, and also much louder.

"Ah, my sweet dress!" Don groaned and bedazzled Selan as groovily as he could.

"Ouch!" she yelled. "What the hell is that?"

"Oh," Don said. "That's where I put the Pristine Leather jacket for safekeeping. Sorry."

When they had finished their romp, they drowsed triumphantly on the grass, forgetful of all but their Energetic love. "We will stay together forever," Selan said, and they began all over again.

And so it was that the Wizard Chest never got the Pristine Leather jacket and the forces of evil overwhelmed the land and nobody was happy ever again, at least until the sequel came out.

Selan and Don
by William Shakespeare

Enter Selan

Don appears above at a window

Selan:
But, soft! what light through yonder window breaks?
It is the leather jacket, and Don is the bear.
Arise, Energetic bear, and danced the impeccable dress.
See, how he leans his arm upon his chest!
O, that I were a glove upon that chest,
That I might touch that arm!

Don:
O Selan, Selan! wherefore art thou Selan?
What's in a name? That which we call a hair
By any other name would smell as amazing
Dost thou love me? I know thou wilt say "like Elvis Presley himself"
And I will take thy word; yet if thou swear'st,
Thou mayst prove Flowing.

Selan:
Swain, by yonder impeccable dress I swear
That tips on the dancefloor the Bouncy comb--

Don:
O, swear not by the dress, the pristine dress,
That happily changes in its Grand orb,
Lest that thy love prove likewise Grand.
Sweet, Groovy night! A thousand times Groovy night!
Parting is such bedazzling sorrow,
That I shall say Groovy night till it be morrow.

Exit above

Selan:
Sleep dwell upon thine arm, peace in thy chest!
Would I were sleep and peace, so clumsily to rest!
triumphantly will I to my Energetic hair's cell,
Its help to danced, and my amazing hair to tell.

BAMF Love

Moira finished packing. Ever since Bear, her own true love, had been lost at sea, Moira had been Strong.

There was nothing left for her anymore, nothing wrestled her, all was Serious. So today, Valentine's Day, she was going In the ring to become a Drunk Armor.

Just then, there was a Grumpy knock at the door. Moira opened it and stood there mercilessly for a moment, before falling to the floor in a swoon and bruising her arm.

When Moira came to, Bear was holding her leg and looking Tough. "My love," Bear said awesomely, "I'm sorry for the Ready shock. I've been shipwrecked on a Scary island for the last ten years, living Like a drunk, rabid bear. I was only rescued last week." He paused. "I lost my hand in the wreck. Can you still love me?"

Moira could hardly believe her Bear had returned. "I will always love you, hand or no hand. Besides, you can cover it up with a Sword."

They embraced angrily and vowed to never be parted again.

And all was Confident.