Hidden 9 yrs ago 9 yrs ago Post by Savato
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Savato Super Peace

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The Hokage elected almost immediately after Mariko's resignation, he was more or less the "default" Hokage meant to maintain someone at the peak of executive power and keep some control over the village's actions. Although praised for representing the diversity of Konoha's modern population by being the first Hokage with pure Kumo heritage (though he was born in Konoha), his performances could be considered stagnant to say the least. His predecessor gained the title of worst Hokage the village had ever known, but he did not take as many initiatives as she did, making it less damaging for public opinion and the city's finances.

Some good things came from his reign, however, as he managed to strengthen international relations even more and ease exchanges in terms of people (shinobi exchange programs) and trade opportunities. Economically the leaf had known a slightly growth, but socially the plague of Downtown and the never ending complaints of the people often fell at deaf's ears. It didn't help that he was part of these Hokage who were not renown for being one of the stronger individuals of the shinobi line but simply someone with a lot of popular backup. His credibility hit an all time low the year of his assassination.

Ayame and Fujitora Choko, two individuals close to him, have seized the chance in changing the ways work in the village and promptly assassinated Zeno 12.5 years into his mandate. He will go down as the third Hokage who died in battle as he was on the throne, second to be assassinated in front of his people. His legacy is still to be determined as only history will judge his actions in the long run.


Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by Eviledd1984
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Eviledd1984 Narn Liberator

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@Savato I ummm finished editing my sheet if you want to take a look at it.
Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by Partisan
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Partisan Vuurvos / Dion

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@Eviledd1984 I was gonna have Akashi do that, actually.
Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by Eviledd1984
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Eviledd1984 Narn Liberator

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@PartisanOkey dokey then i can wait then.
Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by Savato
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Savato Super Peace

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And so the 11th Corp Sheet is complete, shedding some light as to what the hell they are and where they be hiding.

Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by Akashi Mayhiro
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Akashi Mayhiro Some Scrub

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@Eviledd1984

I'm sorry man, I haven't had time to review your work, once I'm done with work, I'll come and review your char...but at a glance at your work.

You may want to review it yourself in General.

Time here is 5:10pm I will review around 12:45am
Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by Eviledd1984
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Eviledd1984 Narn Liberator

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Of course it is late where I am so I will edit the bad stuff when I wake up.
1x Like Like
Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by Akashi Mayhiro
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Akashi Mayhiro Some Scrub

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@Eviledd1984

Alright then, as i promised, i am now here and ready to review your work:


Hidden 9 yrs ago 9 yrs ago Post by Partisan
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I'll review it for you, my comments will be in the quote in red. I'm sorry if it's harsh but I treat everyone like this and it's the only way I can guarantee some form of decent quality to the members of this RP.
Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by Eviledd1984
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@PartisanOf course i could take another look at my sheet and change something.
Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by Brodie
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Brodie Sage

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Still looking?
Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by Savato
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Savato Super Peace

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@Mugin Yes we are!
Hidden 9 yrs ago 9 yrs ago Post by Brodie
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Brodie Sage

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Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by Raijinslayer
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Raijinslayer .

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@MuginCharacter seems interesting so far, but I want to warn you that the GM's probably won't let you have Sage Mode right off the bat. If you really want it, run it by them, but it's most likely going to be simething you'll have to earn later through the IC. But then again, I could be wrong, so it'd be best to send them a PM to work something out.
Hidden 9 yrs ago 9 yrs ago Post by Masaki Haruna
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Masaki Haruna OLD TESTAMENT

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Refined Sentou.
As discussed in the skype chat, I added moves that is not named Chidori and no longer have any chidori varints barring chidori sword which I say makes everything fairer considering Sentou used to have a lot of A ranks.

I also made sense of her fighting style and her having Boruto's kote sums up her coin spam, phone hack and whatnot. No worries, she won't use other elements or what Boruto have shown. Just the usual Sentou we all know about. After all I made this RP, so I want to show what a modern ninja is like.

One last thing I'm still broke and will only appear in certain story arcs that I will be discussing. Broke not so broke, got a good job that pays decently but I have to focus so that I'll meet my goals meaning less rping for now.
Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by Partisan
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Partisan Vuurvos / Dion

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@Raijinslayer

It's not happening even if you ask. Sage mode is not some tool that everyone and their mom can learn - we have it reserved for people that deserve it through hard work ICly to get it, not just give it away like it's some gift anyone can get.
Hidden 9 yrs ago 9 yrs ago Post by Savato
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@Mugin Okay we're going to start off SLOW. Meaning that, you're going to stick to ONE CHARACTER for now, alright? I'm not a fan of character hoarding, especially with one being Life release and the other Dust release (Good luck having that ever validated).

For your current character:

-What's the point of Sage transformation if it's just a staple to compensate the fact that we've denied Sage mode? I mean it's barely used or expanded on other than some random bonus.
Also, it's my favorite Kekkei Genkai in Canon, meaning my ridiculously biased opinion will push me to deny it quite easily if simply used as I've stated above, which it is right now.

-Water-Heavens Convergence sounds ridiculously strong. Knighthawk wanted the same power as a KG, it was righteously denied. This won't be an exception.

-Okay for your summonings. Manda II is out of the question lololol. Why not make your own Custom Summonings instead of taking already dead characters? The giant salamander isn't that bad since Ibuse was far from being that big, so that's actually acceptable as a C rank.

-The Customs for your summonings aren't a problem in themselves. The issue I have is that your character should be more focused on summons rather than having random ninjutsu, a Kekkei Genkai I'll likely have a hard time digesting and a bunch of complimenting summons.

You character is just all over the place in terms of techniques and needs reevaluation. I would suggest choosing the direction he should take and stick to it, otherwise he'll end up really subpar in all these levels and be an easily defeated mess.

I want to add that your fighting style needs so retconning, because Sage transformation CAN have links to summons but it isn't Senjutsu in the pure sense, it simply utilizes natural energy in a different fashion. Plus if you do you use Sage Transformation, certain jutsu come with it, they're not freebies. As I said before, this Kekkei Genkai seems to be just some random thing you put there just to use Natural energy when you can just be a summoning specialist (and later be some random sage that you've EARNED).

Now for non-fighting:

-Personality is WAY too short, like as big as C rank customs. That won't come to pass.

-If I recall correctly, Juugo's clan is a bunch of people who couldn't master Sage Mode, and became crazies. They came from Ryuchi cave, not Otogakure.
Why would Konoha accept him in? Why would they need some random kid with an obviously very dangerous Kekkei Genkai? He's not even from a major village so exchange program is a big no.
So he randomly found three very hidden areas that were said to be pretty difficult to find all because he wanted to be a sage? Which of course he'd fail hard since his body was predisposed to suck at it. So it's just for random summonings? Why does it have to be the Main Protagonist stuff as if he were so special he had magical acceptance from all these places just as Naruto or Kabuto had? This part is just really strange and irrelevant, you can have Toad summons without being in Myoboku, heck Naruto got his first summons by just making a contract. This kind of smells like Special snowflake syndrome.

That's about it really. I think that you really need to re-work this because some parts simply don't add up and are just out of place. Tell me when you've decided on what to change.
Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by Partisan
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Partisan Vuurvos / Dion

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Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by Akashi Mayhiro
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Akashi Mayhiro Some Scrub

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Sorry fellas, I've been away for work....and more work.

I'll have a post up by tonight.
Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by Partisan
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Partisan Vuurvos / Dion

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@Akashi Mayhiro all work and no play makes Akashi a rich man.

Probably not. Fuck you Nero.
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