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Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by Terminal
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Terminal Rancorous Narrative Proxy

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At this exact moment, after factoring in Objective Midnight, there are exactly 33 hours and 48 minutes left before the deadline.
Hidden 9 yrs ago 9 yrs ago Post by Blitz
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*sobs* I don't think I'm gonna finish in time

Edit: I definitely won't be finishing in time. Unless I REALLY get my shit together on Sunday. Which is doubtful. Ughhhhhhhh. We'll see. I need sleep.
Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by mdk
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At this exact moment, after factoring in Objective Midnight, there are exactly 33 hours and 48 minutes left before the deadline.


I'm going to finish. I'm so sorry, there's so much there, and someone has to read all of it, I'm so so so sorry.
Hidden 9 yrs ago 9 yrs ago Post by Holmishire
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Because I've been too busy to do my original plan, I've decided to submit a much shorter entry. It's only part of the bigger story I wanted to do, but ultimately, I was sacrificing quality for quantity.

Which sucks.

Hopefully it will still do the characters justice.

(Also toeing the challenge limits again because wheeee~)
Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by Terminal
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23 Hours and 50 minutes remain.
Hidden 9 yrs ago 9 yrs ago Post by mdk
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oh god. Slowing down. Must. Keep. Writing.

Edit: Done. 14,000 words. Goodness. I need a drink.
Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by Terminal
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I am leaving and will not be able to log back in until after the submission deadline, so entries will not be listed until later sometime tomorrow. That said, the deadline is not being extended. Entries I receive after the Objective Midnight Deadline will not be listed. That is all.

For reference, the submission deadline is in seven hours and fifty-five minutes.
Hidden 9 yrs ago 9 yrs ago Post by PlatinumSkink
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@Holmishire It is probably for the better. I have no doubt I will enjoy reading it anyways~

@mdk ... A 14.000 word entry written by mdk? Goodness. Where will I find the time?
Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by mdk
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...and wouldn't you know, I just found one that I want to change. ONE OF THOSE WORDS IS WRONG AND IT'S KILLING ME INSIDE.
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Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by Terminal
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...and wouldn't you know, I just found one that I want to change. ONE OF THOSE WORDS IS WRONG AND IT'S KILLING ME INSIDE.


You realize you can edit PMs, correct?

As long as the edit was done before Objective Midnight I would have taken it.

OH WELL. Look forward to seeing that mentioned in the review!
1x Laugh Laugh
Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by mdk
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<Snipped quote by mdk>

You realize you can edit PMs, correct?

As long as the edit was done before Objective Midnight I would have taken it.

OH WELL. Look forward to seeing that mentioned in the review!


heh. Well, on the bright side, it's camouflaged, or at least hidden in a whole forest of other not-so-perfect words, so the one I'm looking at might go unnoticed. Hint: It's a directional word. But yeah -- this is why it's smart to leave yourself some time between writing and deadline. When you proofread immediately after farting out that big of a story, you can apparently miss a few things.
Hidden 9 yrs ago 9 yrs ago Post by PlatinumSkink
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I proofread mine thrice. I guarantee, next time someone reads it, be it me or someone else, they'll find an error that I'll later be staring at and be like "How the **** did I miss this?". Yupp.

Edit: *read a bit in the end of own entry right after writing that* ... ... ... ... ... ... ... Damn.
Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by Loksfjoer
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Only 5 stories? That means I'll only have to read 4 to give feedback. That actually seems manageable, I might just get some reviews done this time.
Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by PlatinumSkink
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Reviews from someone with absolutely no power. Here’s what I think. I apologize in advance for any offense these reviews or my entry might do to those who read it, should that be the case. In any case. It does appear that only veterans wrote for this time, soooooooooooo well, there is somewhat of a lack of people who probably actually need my input on anything since most here was top-notch anyway, but here it is regardless! XD







Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by mdk
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@Platinum -- normally I'd wait to respond until I got my own reviews done, but I'm actually working super hard all week on a job application... ANYWAY -- from my perspective, Paul Mackenny is the real main character of the story. Cole is the POV, and we spend a little more time with him for that reason, but Mackenny is Sherlock Holmes and Cole is Watson. If you squeeze them together hard enough you get Indiana Jones. But yeah -- Mackenny is the one who leaves everyone behind to take it for himself, and I sorta made you sit through the aftermath of that decision, rather than showing you all the benefits it probably had for Mackenny.
Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by PlatinumSkink
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@mdk Ooooh. Alright. I see. Yeah, then I get it. Bit hard to see without the pointer, but yes. I see it. Heh. That makes it kind of amusing, actually. Nicely done.
Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by Loksfjoer
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@PlatinumSkink well, I had to look what a vice really is and the dictionary informed me it is an immoral, wicked, or evil habit, action, or trait. Did he display that? According to the clarification he didn't have to be a saint or even be particularly nice, as long as he wasn't ruthlessly amoral in nature. I did my best to stay within those parameters, but I knew I'd be walking a thin line in this labour again. I'm hoping to fall on the good side.
Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by PlatinumSkink
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@WiseDragonGirl A vice to me is an immoral character trait that clearly deviates from the path of a paragon. There is the fact that he, while wealthy, didn't for a single second consider allowing his poor friend to collect the reward which they believed to be treasure when it was revealed to only be granted to one person, it felt like anyway. Well, maybe the friend still would have gotten his share of coins should that part be delivered upon, but the Bardug distinctly said "no sharing", so that's what I went with. That, and he didn't seem to mind the way this game could have taken people's lives for such a silly purpose, even if that thought said he didn't agree with it. He's acting on boredom, which might not necessarily be a vice, but the individual himself felt really fickle.

That's my impression of it, which may or may not be accurate to Terminal's view.
Still, I like him. He if anything in your entry was quite enjoyable. Especially with his reactions to that. Such characters are always so distinctly interesting in some form of way. Haha. I don't really understand why, but yes. The only question is where the line goes where you're "vice-less", yeah. We'll hear in not too long, I imagine.
Hidden 9 yrs ago 9 yrs ago Post by PlatinumSkink
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Edit:
Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by Loksfjoer
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I read 3 of the 4 stories now. I'm sorry @mdk, I didn't get a chance to read yours yet.

I don't have much feedback to give, but at least I can point out what I liked and didn't like. Grammar-wise I don't have anything to say unless there are some really obvious mistakes. I tend to read over small mistakes.






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