Gabriel knew he was right. They might not have started trying to kill anyone, but it would have ended up that way. It had happened before. He would not remember those memories. As Argus turned away, fury rose up in Gabriel. He was going to be ignored again, going to be left alone, again. a rock was his only means, and he threw it towards argus, deliberately missing, only seeking to stop him from walking away. He'd opened this can of worms, he damn well be stick to the whole mess was out.
"I've watched good intentions turn into murder before, you insensitive ass. Trying to stop you, or ike, or whatever would have led to one of you, or the girl, dead. Fighting sucks, and more people end up dead even by accident the they would on purpose. So shove your words about me being self righteous and go to hell! Self righteous would be assuming I'm right! I don't, just go off what I've seen, what I've had done to me, and what ice had to do."
He would not remember. He would not remember. If he did, he'd have to face it. Questions would be asked. "fighting with magic should be a last resort, not the first thing you go for. That Misuse of magic is why we still struggle to overcome a 100 years of mistrust. You haven't seen what people will do to you because you have magic. You haven't seen the results of magically restrained salves, or the desperatiration they feel as they try and escape, or seen what one angry wizard would do with magic. You haven't seen someone standing next to you practically become a pile of ash! You don't know!" oh god, he was remembering, and he didn't know if he could take it. "you don't know what it's like to be eight, and have to leave your family, to look back and see your mother cut in two, your father a mess of skin, bones, organs. What it's like to have to lie to your brother every day and say you are sure they are okay, that they survived and will find us one day. Because you know if you tell him, he'd break. Or maybe you'd break. And then how would you keep him alive? This shy, little boy whose scared of his own shadow? You don't know what it's like, truly, when people fight with magic. Even one wrong move, you could end up dead. That's what would have happened. That's why I tried to stop it, why I don't see the value in fighting first off, Why I think talking is better then fighting. That's why I wanted to join Frenzy Plant, to see if there's actually people who'd protect, instead of defend, instead of attack. I guess there isn't, because human nature is always to attack first, and I guess it can't be changed. So shove your words, when you don't know what it's like" by now, Gabriels voice was cracking, and he seemed to sag with each passing sentence, as if the weight of memories was pushing him down.
"I saw more death at eight then anyone should in their entire lifetime. You don't know what it's like to pretend there's hope when there isn't. What it's like to make sure the one good thing in your life doesn't have their light snuffed out. You don't know what it's like to depend on someone more then they depend on you to not be there anymore. I could be strong, but only for them, because of them. You don't know what it's like to have the one thing you live for to be so far away from you. You don't know what it's like, coming to a guild like this, when you are so scared, when you feel so weak because they aren't there, and nearly not being accepted because you refuse to let your spirits, friends, the only things you have left, fight for you to get in, when you have to prove to
Yourself that you can do it, without help. You don't know, so maybe don't assume I'm self righteous, when all j want to do is keep as many people as I can alive, while trying to be strong, when I'm alone the time, when I just want to give up, but that proves I'm weak, doesn't it? But just go, everyone else does"
Gabriels expression was pure childlike despire, and his voice by now was little more then a whisper, looking like at any moment the wind might simply knock him to the ground. He didn't even know if Argus was there, if he was listening, his eyes distant and unseeing. Perhaps he was just talking to himself and ghosts gone by.
"I've watched good intentions turn into murder before, you insensitive ass. Trying to stop you, or ike, or whatever would have led to one of you, or the girl, dead. Fighting sucks, and more people end up dead even by accident the they would on purpose. So shove your words about me being self righteous and go to hell! Self righteous would be assuming I'm right! I don't, just go off what I've seen, what I've had done to me, and what ice had to do."
He would not remember. He would not remember. If he did, he'd have to face it. Questions would be asked. "fighting with magic should be a last resort, not the first thing you go for. That Misuse of magic is why we still struggle to overcome a 100 years of mistrust. You haven't seen what people will do to you because you have magic. You haven't seen the results of magically restrained salves, or the desperatiration they feel as they try and escape, or seen what one angry wizard would do with magic. You haven't seen someone standing next to you practically become a pile of ash! You don't know!" oh god, he was remembering, and he didn't know if he could take it. "you don't know what it's like to be eight, and have to leave your family, to look back and see your mother cut in two, your father a mess of skin, bones, organs. What it's like to have to lie to your brother every day and say you are sure they are okay, that they survived and will find us one day. Because you know if you tell him, he'd break. Or maybe you'd break. And then how would you keep him alive? This shy, little boy whose scared of his own shadow? You don't know what it's like, truly, when people fight with magic. Even one wrong move, you could end up dead. That's what would have happened. That's why I tried to stop it, why I don't see the value in fighting first off, Why I think talking is better then fighting. That's why I wanted to join Frenzy Plant, to see if there's actually people who'd protect, instead of defend, instead of attack. I guess there isn't, because human nature is always to attack first, and I guess it can't be changed. So shove your words, when you don't know what it's like" by now, Gabriels voice was cracking, and he seemed to sag with each passing sentence, as if the weight of memories was pushing him down.
"I saw more death at eight then anyone should in their entire lifetime. You don't know what it's like to pretend there's hope when there isn't. What it's like to make sure the one good thing in your life doesn't have their light snuffed out. You don't know what it's like to depend on someone more then they depend on you to not be there anymore. I could be strong, but only for them, because of them. You don't know what it's like to have the one thing you live for to be so far away from you. You don't know what it's like, coming to a guild like this, when you are so scared, when you feel so weak because they aren't there, and nearly not being accepted because you refuse to let your spirits, friends, the only things you have left, fight for you to get in, when you have to prove to
Yourself that you can do it, without help. You don't know, so maybe don't assume I'm self righteous, when all j want to do is keep as many people as I can alive, while trying to be strong, when I'm alone the time, when I just want to give up, but that proves I'm weak, doesn't it? But just go, everyone else does"
Gabriels expression was pure childlike despire, and his voice by now was little more then a whisper, looking like at any moment the wind might simply knock him to the ground. He didn't even know if Argus was there, if he was listening, his eyes distant and unseeing. Perhaps he was just talking to himself and ghosts gone by.