4 Guests viewing this page
Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by MarshiestMallow
Raw
GM
Avatar of MarshiestMallow

MarshiestMallow The Marshiest of Mallows

Member Seen 1 yr ago

Blargh

Probably not gonna get the next day up until tomorrow
Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by Lugubrious
Raw
Avatar of Lugubrious

Lugubrious Player on the other side

Member Seen 21 min ago

Integrity, a characteristic necessary for good leaders, is the ability to continue to do what's right when nobody's watching.

<Snipped quote by Crimson Raven>

Woah hold your horse there bucko. I certainly wasn't thinking anything sexual when I bite peoples hands, and considering that people bite as an attack in good ol anime logic. I saw it as nothing more than a humor laugh it off situation, not "oh kinky;)" Yet if peoples first instinct was to treat it as a sexual situation then thats kind of sad. Mostly if they read they would see they are currently annoyed by each other.


I only brought up the kinky bit saying that it was a possible interpretation that I didn't think was the case. My first guess was the correct one: that they're childish. Just so you know, there's a world of difference between the opposite of serious and the opposite of mature.
Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by Burthstone
Raw
Avatar of Burthstone

Burthstone The Nebulus Nebulae

Member Seen 5 yrs ago

@Lugubrious

While you're on the subject of examining characters, I'm curios as to how mine come across.

Mostly as to what their personality seems to be, as that's kinda the more important part.
Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by Oblivion666
Raw
Avatar of Oblivion666

Oblivion666 Pun Loving Machine

Member Seen 5 yrs ago

Integrity, a characteristic necessary for good leaders, is the ability to continue to do what's right when nobody's watching.

<Snipped quote by Oblivion666>

I only brought up the kinky bit saying that it was a possible interpretation that I didn't think was the case. My first guess was the correct one: that they're childish. Just so you know, there's a world of difference between the opposite of serious and the opposite of mature.

Zephyr is neither. He's doesn't find that fun. Hence why he drew on bandits faves with prince
Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by Lugubrious
Raw
Avatar of Lugubrious

Lugubrious Player on the other side

Member Seen 21 min ago

@Lugubrious

While you're on the subject of examining characters, I'm curios as to how mine come across.

Mostly as to what their personality seems to be, as that's kinda the more important part.


I have no complaints so far. I've only really interacted with Mark, who seems rather normal and decent despite his guild, and Grant, who is about as evil as I imagine you intend him to be.
Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by Burthstone
Raw
Avatar of Burthstone

Burthstone The Nebulus Nebulae

Member Seen 5 yrs ago

<Snipped quote by Burthstone>

I have no complaints so far. I've only really interacted with Mark, who seems rather normal and decent despite his guild, and Grant, who is about as evil as I imagine you intend him to be.


Glad to know that my Villain char comes off as evil.

Normally they come off as regular jackasses, just with weaponry.
Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by Jangel13
Raw
Avatar of Jangel13

Jangel13 The angel of fortune

Member Online

Well I got nothing until the next day
Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by DELETED7282737
Raw

DELETED7282737

Member Seen 2 yrs ago

@Raijinslayer Have you seen gate yet? its awsome
Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by DELETED7282737
Raw

DELETED7282737

Member Seen 2 yrs ago

@Raijinslayer Have you seen gate yet? its awsome


there are people like this that just slaughtered everyone

Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by Oblivion666
Raw
Avatar of Oblivion666

Oblivion666 Pun Loving Machine

Member Seen 5 yrs ago

@liferusher So you want Ike to visit Isla?
Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by CitrusArms
Raw
Avatar of CitrusArms

CitrusArms Space Spatula

Member Seen 1 hr ago

As long as everyone's asking, how's my writing?
Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by DELETED7282737
Raw

DELETED7282737

Member Seen 2 yrs ago

@liferusher So you want Ike to visit Isla?


sure thing
Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by Lugubrious
Raw
Avatar of Lugubrious

Lugubrious Player on the other side

Member Seen 21 min ago

As long as everyone's asking, how's my writing?


Burth's the only one asking, but I have no complaints about your writing either. You characterize decently well, with enough detail, strong verbs, and varied sentence structure to keep it interesting, and you clearly pay attention to your grammar, punctuation, capitalization, and spelling. You sometimes switch between past tense and present tense for no immediately obvious reason, which can be somewhat jolting, and you still use a bunch of passive verbs that could be changed into anything more interesting without too much difficulty. All in all, you're a good Casual writer. Fun to RP with and exhibiting competence, but perhaps in need of more editing to make sure everything's the best it could be.
Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by MarshiestMallow
Raw
GM
Avatar of MarshiestMallow

MarshiestMallow The Marshiest of Mallows

Member Seen 1 yr ago

I'm not going to ask cause I'm on my phone most of the time and it has a mind of its own to changing words and things.
Hidden 9 yrs ago 9 yrs ago Post by CitrusArms
Raw
Avatar of CitrusArms

CitrusArms Space Spatula

Member Seen 1 hr ago

<Snipped quote by CirusArvennicus>

Burth's the only one asking, but I have no complaints about your writing either. You characterize decently well, with enough detail, strong verbs, and varied sentence structure to keep it interesting, and you clearly pay attention to your grammar, punctuation, capitalization, and spelling. You sometimes switch between past tense and present tense for no immediately obvious reason, which can be somewhat jolting, and you still use a bunch of passive verbs that could be changed into anything more interesting without too much difficulty. All in all, you're a good Casual writer. Fun to RP with and exhibiting competence, but perhaps in need of more editing to make sure everything's the best it could be.


That makes sense. They're all first drafts.

As for the tense switching... I think I use it as action vs. reaction? I don't notice tense all that much, myself. x:

Well, it's not that I don't notice it. More like... I dunno. *shrugs*
1x Like Like
Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by Remram
Raw
Avatar of Remram

Remram

Member Seen 4 hrs ago

I'm not even going to ask about my writing. I know I suck. xD
Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by Lugubrious
Raw
Avatar of Lugubrious

Lugubrious Player on the other side

Member Seen 21 min ago

I'm not even going to ask about my writing. I know I suck. xD


Tell yourself that, and you will. You must have some pride in yourself in order to improve.

You write compellingly. There's seldom a dull moment, with the unique characters you've introduced. One reason our various characters seem to interact so often is because I enjoy playing with you--we enhance one anothers' characters via their interaction. It's never just filler with you, and that is admirable.

If I had one criticism, it would be not posting with Enma or doing the super-secret-plot-thingy related to him yet.

Oh, and @Everyone, it might be a bit early, but there's going to be a pretty awesome plot thingy happening with Frenzy Plant immediately post-timeskip. Will definitely be a good time. As always, I'd be happy to see more characters in my guild.
Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by Remram
Raw
Avatar of Remram

Remram

Member Seen 4 hrs ago

<Snipped quote by hatakekuro>

Tell yourself that, and you will. You must have some pride in yourself in order to improve.

You write compellingly. There's seldom a dull moment, with the unique characters you've introduced. One reason our various characters seem to interact so often is because I enjoy playing with you--we enhance one anothers' characters via their interaction. It's never just filler with you, and that is admirable.

If I had one criticism, it would be not posting with Enma or doing the super-secret-plot-thingy related to him yet.

Oh, and @Everyone, it might be a bit early, but there's going to be a pretty awesome plot thingy happening with Frenzy Plant immediately post-timeskip. Will definitely be a good time. As always, I'd be happy to see more characters in my guild.


Thanks. That means a lot. I don't have the greatest confidence in myself so it helps. ^^;;

And I did post Enma at the party already and I'm working on that thing now.
Hidden 9 yrs ago 9 yrs ago Post by CitrusArms
Raw
Avatar of CitrusArms

CitrusArms Space Spatula

Member Seen 1 hr ago

I remember hearing once that reading good books can help you write better. Perhaps it's something I should do more of. I just got done with 1984 and Fahrenheit 451. I think I might read Dune, next...
Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by Expolar
Raw
coGM
Avatar of Expolar

Expolar ...just a tortle...

Member Seen 3 yrs ago

@Lugubrious
If you're still in the mood of critiquing. What do you think of my writing?

I don't know how much of my posts you read, but I would like to try and improve. Any comments would be nice to hear.
↑ Top
4 Guests viewing this page
© 2007-2024
BBCode Cheatsheet