Granted. Entrepreneurs then realize there's a gigantic market for lazy quickly-made food and the cycle repeats itself.

I wish I wasn't bored.

Granted. Now you're just a wooden board.

I wish I had some fashion sense.

Granted. You still wear the same clothes, but you have the power to sense fashion from miles away.

I wish kids shows were what they were like when I was a kid, because some of this crap on tv nowadays is just aids to the eyes.

Wish granted, it quite literally plays what they used to be 24/7. But, it's only the bad stuff.

I wish my body would wake up feeling fine and stop aching every morning.

Granted: Now your body simply combusts every morning instead of aching.

I wish I could maths and do the Englishes.

Granted. You still wear the same clothes, but you have the power to sense fashion from miles away.

...That is a BADASS power. "Hang on. My fashion sense is tingling!"

---

@ClocktowerEchos Granted. I mean, I don't know why you wanted to DO the maths and the Englishes, but now you just fornicated with your homework. Um. Think about your life choices.

I wish I could be anyone I wanted to be!

@ShorticusI have my fetishes, you have your's.
Mine come with being professionally Asia.

Granted, you become everyone and are thus rendered a horrifying amalgamation of human limbs and facial structures.

I wish I landmines on sticks and sharp balloons was the preferred method of warfare instead of guns.

granted, however with such ineffective weapons humanity is unable to defend itself from the Alien invasion.

I wish that Kubey's Race never existed! And that no other thing would take their place and do the same things as they would have. (therefore stopping the cycle of magical girls and witches without me needing to become a god)

Granted, however seeing as the energy they collected from magical girls was used to slow down the end of the universe, well lets just say that thanks to you next Tuesday will be the last day ever.

I wish to create a fully working and safe timemachine that only works for me and transports itself in time as well before next Tuesday

Granted, however, THEY have been watching you, they know of your genius now. Who are they you ask? A secret organization working for the U.S. Government. The seize your Time Machine and arrest you, taking you to the dreaded Area 51. There they interrogate you nonstop, wanting to know the secrets of your Time Machine. Meanwhile, the scientists there have been experimenting with the Time Machine, and have taken it apart for examination, undoing all your work thus far. You cannot provide an answer to how you built it, as you could only build 1 per your wish, and have thus forgotten how to build it. Now that you have seen Area 51, you are released, but you will always be watched now for as long as you live as to not spill any secrets about it. An agent is even at your deathbed, making sure you say nothing about the installation with your final breath.

I think that should do it XD

I wish I was a Jedi (Star Wars Legends, not Canon) post Battle of Endor, where I was a survivor of Order 66 and helped Luke Skywalker and the other Jedi rebuild the Order under the rebuilding Republic.

Granted but afterwards a massive black hole appeared and sucked everything into oblivion.

I wish I could stay a teenager and never die.

(That's actually fine, Jedi don't seek glory for their endeavors, they do them because it's the right thing to do.)

(edited it)

Granted but you were never recognized for your endeavors.

I wish I could stay a teenager and never die.

Granted. You also are forced to attend high school every year no matter where you are because of your apparent youth, You are not able to do adult things like buy a house or a car, or buy alcohol or work a job better than 7 dollars an hour.

I wish I could communicate telepathically with dogs.

Granted, but the first telepathic message is from a dog that is sexually attracted to you.

I wish I was completely hairless except for the hair on my head.

Granted, but it turns out that is SUPER unattractive to people everywhere. You're seen as some sort of leper and thrown into an internment camp.

I wish I were in with the in crowd!

Granted, however it turns out you don't like being with the "In Crowd", and you try to leave. Unfortunately, they don't take kindly to deserters, and begin messing with you. Eventually it gets to the point where they physically attack you, and you get the blame for it because no witnesses will talk and the group says you threw the first punch. You spend a month in jail and by then the crowd has moved on, but it is now next to impossible for you to get a job because you have a "Criminal Record".

I wish my school's internet didn't block anything that was considered fun and games or forums (yet they don't block reddit or rpguild -_-), or for that matter, I wish they didn't block any of the websites I frequent.

Granted. Instead of blocking websites, they secretly set up video cameras near each of the computers, nigh invisible, which they use to track what every student is doing, and any student that's doing something "strange" is carted off for... ah, rehabilitation. Apparently, roleplaying is strange...

I wish to trample my enemies beneath the hooves of my steed and leave their remains to be bleached by the sun in the sandy dunes!

Granted. You leave the battlefield in a glorious display of strength and gore, but you ended up going the wrong direction. You are now lost in the desert and dying of thirst.

I wish I was a cat

Wish granted, but you become a rather ugly anthropomorphic cat and that makes you look like a furry and everyone hates those, which causes you to get a pelting with rocks and hit with rather large sticks for all of your days...

I wish I had and could afford a friendly and wonderful Siberian Husky. ^3^