Is there anyone who can take a look at my CS? ^^

@OneWayOut im on the train rn but she looks good as far as I can see; so she has my seal of approval - cute goth girls r my aesthetic - however, gonna wait for the boss lady to check over! This is a democracy!

Thanks so much! I finished it at work on my phone and I just now thought to edit my typos lol There may still be some... Regardless, I don't usually play the Goth type so I'm excited to see how this goes. Your guy is awesome btw!

@OneWayOut

I think she's fantastic! The Darkness Manip. power has the potential to be a bit OP, but I'll trust you to use it fairly in the IC. Otherwise, I can't see a thing wrong with her - you can go ahead and move her over to the CS tab.

Quick question, would Hecate still be qualified as being a character's parent even though she has no children in the mythology? While also not being explicitly stated as being a virgin goddess?

EDIT: Never mind, saw her in the accepted list of gods and goddesses.

@Witch Cat

Hecate is fine, as she isn't explicitly stated as a virgin, and in some accounts, does have children.

The list is not a list of Gods who can be parents, but simply ones that will or may make an appearance in the IC.

@MiddleEarthRoze I thought about the Darkness Manipulation being a bit OP but as you said, I figured that I could just be mindful and not get out of hand. So you can trust me with that and also feel free to let me know if I do accidentally go overboard. :)

The powers must be connected to the abilities of Apollo; Apollo was not known for understanding culture...

The ability Cultural Assimilator was an interpretation of Apollo being a god of music and the arts, so he is the closest god representing 'culture' as those two areas are deeply involved with it. So, it made some sense in my head but.... eh? That doesn't matter any more. It was a vaugue interpretation of how his powers would affect my demi-god by allowing him to understand their different arts like dancing / songs / paintings / etc. So... yeh!

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Moving onwards! It took a bit of time to change a bunch of things but its done! Hopefully, the abilities will make sense now with the Godly parent that I have and not be disastrous as the previous one. By any chance, he'll be acceptable as I change a few things about him to make the theme work but kept my original idea intact somewhat. (Just gonna hide in the bunker until the decision comes...)

Sorry for taking so long on my CS. I've been having a bunch of ideas rush through my head over this one, and I'm still working on really nailing one down.

I didn't see Sobek on the Egyptian gods list, but I just want everyone to know that the results should be in anytime now and I'm pretty sure he's my father.

@CrystalApple that is one attractive man...

@MiddleEarthRoze
Face Claim: Leandro Lima

@Holy Soldier

Okay, nice start, but there are some slight issues with the sheet.

It seems like Adom's mother is aware of Horus' backstory and true nature based off the stories she's told — like I've said before, nobody is aware of the existence of Gods, including the character's parents. I also doubt he would have stayed around long enough to be told to leave by Rashida, because Gods tend to dump their load and run on off as soon as a Demi-God is on the way. Too many questions, and all that — also the gods cannot tell the mothers/fathers of their children for the purposes of this roleplay.
The other issues lie in with your powers. There's too many for our tastes and we find them a bit problematic.

Multiple Forms:
All Gods have the ability to change into whatever form they want - I'm willing to give you the ability to change into a Peregrine, but anything beyond that is a bit excessive in my GM opinion.. Also, that "morphing" thing just seems too unlikely to allow - the mechanics of it could be messy when considering other characters Adom may fuse with; because there's no way in Hell he'd do so with a full-blooded God. I imagine he'd be safer fusing with an unstable nuclear reactor.

Sun and Moon:
Horus is God of the Sky, not those two things specifically. I am aware in the myths that his eyes personified each one, but for the purposes of this roleplay, I would say that it is merely a fable to not infringe on the other gods' territories. In addition to this, this "single power" includes several of them, among them including heat, light, gravity and oceans. I see where you're coming from: the moon controls the tides, heat and light come from the sun, etc... However, they're unlikely abilities for the son of the God of the sky especially if we say that the Sun/Moon eyes are simply a fable — which unfortunately you didn't know until now. Even if they were plausible for Horus, they're rather over-powered. I appreciate the work and the detail you put into this power and also the idea of them being able to hurt Adom if he used them too much, but those powers will not be allowed - if you have trouble coming up with ideas that are less vaguely attached with Horus, consider what abilities could come from the sky itself - and also his other Godly duties in line with war and hunting.

Blood of the King:
As mentioned with a previous CS, we cannot allow powers of "charisma" that will influence another character without their permission.

There's a difference in making oneself seem appealing to other people, and actually making the other people like your character; the latter is godmodding. As a whole, not every character will find the same sort of personality endearing.

Not everybody finds the same type of person charismatic, and to have a power stating otherwise would be godmodding. In fact you went as far as to dictate how other characters would act around him — this is something that we cannot allow and must be changed.

Has anyone here seen the movie "Gods Of Egypt"? It's sooo good. Like... just an overall amazing movie. I don't know if it follows any historical timeline or story, but it was really well made imho. I recommend people check it out if you don't mind renting a movie for a few bucks.

Unsure if you can find it online, but I have Dish so I was able to rent it thru their movie service thingy. Just a thought if you find yourselves bored and wanting to watch a good movie.

@Holy Soldier

Okay, nice start, but there are some slight issues with the sheet.

It seems like Adom's mother is aware of Horus' backstory and true nature based off the stories she's told — like I've said before, nobody is aware of the existence of Gods, including the character's parents. I also doubt he would have stayed around long enough to be told to leave by Rashida, because Gods tend to dump their load and run on off as soon as a Demi-God is on the way. Too many questions, and all that — also the gods cannot tell the mothers/fathers of their children for the purposes of this roleplay.
The other issues lie in with your powers. There's too many for our tastes and we find them a bit problematic.

Multiple Forms:
All Gods have the ability to change into whatever form they want - I'm willing to give you the ability to change into a Peregrine, but anything beyond that is a bit excessive in my GM opinion.. Also, that "morphing" thing just seems too unlikely to allow - the mechanics of it could be messy when considering other characters Adom may fuse with; because there's no way in Hell he'd do so with a full-blooded God. I imagine he'd be safer fusing with an unstable nuclear reactor.

Sun and Moon:
Horus is God of the Sky, not those two things specifically. I am aware in the myths that his eyes personified each one, but for the purposes of this roleplay, I would say that it is merely a fable to not infringe on the other gods' territories. In addition to this, this "single power" includes several of them, among them including heat, light, gravity and oceans. I see where you're coming from: the moon controls the tides, heat and light come from the sun, etc... However, they're unlikely abilities for the son of the God of the sky especially if we say that the Sun/Moon eyes are simply a fable — which unfortunately you didn't know until now. Even if they were plausible for Horus, they're rather over-powered. I appreciate the work and the detail you put into this power and also the idea of them being able to hurt Adom if he used them too much, but those powers will not be allowed - if you have trouble coming up with ideas that are less vaguely attached with Horus, consider what abilities could come from the sky itself - and also his other Godly duties in line with war and hunting.

Blood of the King:
As mentioned with a previous CS, we cannot allow powers of "charisma" that will influence another character without their permission.

<Snipped quote>

Not everybody finds the same type of person charismatic, and to have a power stating otherwise would be godmodding. In fact you went as far as to dictate how other characters would act around him — this is something that we cannot allow and must be changed.

I’m going to make my opinion, and I know that it probably won’t matter because whatever the GM says goes, but…

1. When I wrote the story and relationship between Rashida and Horus, I assumed Horus came to her as somebody else. As gods normally do. So no, she didn’t know that Horus was actually a god. The stories she told Adom was in the case that Horus was a reoccurring affair that you just now said wasn’t going to happen.

2. I mostly meant fusing with other demi-gods and not full-blown gods, which I didn’t think was a big deal. But that wasn’t a power he had right-off-the-bat any way. I wrote it as an ability that he could eventually learn. But you said that’s not allowed, so I can easily delete that.

3. When you step into the territory of the Egyptian gods and goddesses who specialize in more than one facet, then you’re going to have overlap (also definitely with Norse too). It’s going to happen. You will have a Zeus-child and you’ll have a Thor-child. There is going to be overlap. As far as me not being allowed to be original and use the sun and moon powers, I may not make a Son of Horus then because I felt that those abilities made a very intriguing character concept. I will just have to come up with a whole new character. It would be harder for me to play a watered-down version of the character I created than to just not play him at all. If I come up with a new concept, it'll more than likely be a god or goddess child that is more narrow and straightforward when it comes to specialization.

4. The “Blood of the King” ability was more of a natural talent rather than a power. So it wasn’t a power that when activated, MAKES people see him that way. I just wrote it to explain how he’s a born leader. Regardless if people like or dislike leaders, born leaders exist IRL and when they’re in charge, they’re in charge 90% of the time. It’s called charisma. But I’ll try to avoid putting “personality traits” in the Power Section and instead just leave it in the Personality section in the future.@MiddleEarthRoze

Updated @MiddleEarthRoze

I got one, too!

@Holy Soldier

I think it's insofar as, these Gods have domains within their grasp that are among the ones they have majority of control in. Ra is the God of the Sun, therefore his main domain is within that area. Horus' eyes are the sun and the moon, but that's a small tidbit - a factoid. It's like saying that Freyja, because she resides over half of the warriors brought in from the battlefield by her valkyrie is currently the 100% domain rule of the dead and death. You have to account for subcategories within these domains and how a power would fit within them, given their children have just a modicum of godly wrath.

What you've done with this power is that you've amped it up more than you necessarily should have. You've essentially taken these rather strong powers associated with Solar and Lunar manipulation and attributed to a God of the Sky who has only his foot in the door, so to speak, in both of these domains. We had this issue with Apple's Apollo child in that he interpreted powers and certain domains in a way that shies too far from the God itself. You've done that in a different way, though. You've taken something minor and amplified it as if Horus was both God of the Sun and God of the Moon. If we're basing his own domain, his own powers off a modicum of what his children potentially know, we can assume that Horus is just as powerful as both Ra and Khonsu in domains they feature quite heavily in - and in Khonsu's regard, one he only features in.

There can be overlap. That's going to happen no matter what and in no matter which pantheon you're in. It's just the fact of how you treat that overlap, and whether it truly personifies the God and their perceived personalities. It's more in line with how they ruled over their domain, rather than just what their patronage was known for. For instance you have Freyja, a Vanir who's essentially queen of the Valkyries, among many other gods, she also resides over death. However, unlike Hel, she presides over the death of warriors she chooses - half and half with Odin, essentially. She's still a goddess of death, but her domain is interpreted differently in a way that it's not just death, it's a subset of it.

Thanatos - bringer of death. He's essentially the Greek's grim reaper. Hermes delivers the dead. Hades presides over the dead. There's overlap, yes, but they're all different even between each other. You have to be aware of that prior to making your character."

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Now to get to the point of taking care of each of your points.

1. Cool, as long as you know Horus wouldn't reveal himself to her, would likely have not told her any of his past, etc. She can construe stories about him, have a notion of him, or he can just be the general, "My father said he was heading out for smokes. He's been out for smokes for about 18 years now." Kinda of deal. That would put a lot of that resentment you seem to tie closely to your character.

2. Yes, we'd definitely love for that not to be included in his actual CS. It's a tricky concept, fusing with anyone's characters because it removes control, gets too complex, and just gets generally too sticky. When it's two of your own characters, it's easier to deal with, but when it's someone else's or an NPC, it gets... too complicated.

3. I already touched upon this. We're not looking to suck out your originality, we're looking out for anything that can be considered too over powered. This entire section of your CS is too overpowered and has the issues I've touched on prior. You've got an assortment of powers in this one section that you've labeled one solo power. There's a difference between having various uses of a power, like being psychic, having telepathy, etc. and then there's having sub-powers hidden beneath one umbrella term for a power. I mean, most things like solar manipulation, darkness manipulation, light manipulation, etc. have sub-categories within themselves, but those are essentially built upon a foundation. Adom's Sun and Moon just mesh all of these multiple powers that have too much variation. I can see the connection between each, but there's too much going on for this power to be anywhere near an acceptable level.

4. This is difficult to analyze from any standpoint without harshly critiquing it. This is acceptable in an environment where this character is the main character, definitely. When you're writing your own story, usually the main character has a charisma about him/her. Commander Shepard, Harry Potter - my mind is currently drawing a blank regarding literary figures, but you get the gist of it. They're great to use in an environment in which you can shape everything yourself. In this setting? Not so much.

There's also that good adage: "Show, don't tell." You're all telling us, "This character is a born leader. He can draw people toward him. Be decisive. Lead by example. Take responsibility." However, that's a very, very, very good way to ultimately kill your character preemptively, especially when you're surrounded by amazing writers like this. You're staking your claim on the leadership role in this group without anyone's consent. You're making your character charismatic and that's a dangerous personality trait to use in Roleplaying where you reply on the interaction and the consent of 6+ other people. You're very much assuming we're okay with this by including this. I'm not. In fact, anytime I see someone put: Charismatic, Manipulative, Intelligent, Perceptive, etc. I immediately want all of my characters to refute those claims. It makes me want the exact opposite of what you do and immediately creates conflict right off the bat.

These traits, these specific traits, rely far too much on other players' consent. You see where I'm going with it? I could rant for days on this. But, you have to think, "Does this personality trait I'm giving my character absolutely require another's compliance to work?" and if it's solely dependent on another player, or all players' consent, it's not a trait you should use in a Roleplay. The only things I can think of you can get away with something like that is if you absolutely plan on making people hate your character, but again, that's a very cheap way to get people to loathe who you're making. It's more rewarding when your character's actions speak a lot louder than what you've told us.

But, yeah, the reason we don't particularly want traits or powers like this is how much it relies on utter manipulation of other characters. You can be manipulative, you can be conniving, you can be backhanded ICly, we aren't barring you from that, but simply stating that your character is in such a manner as that particular power has portrayed doesn't really fly. There are certain traits that you can simply state: generous, malicious, kind, capricious. And then there are those that have to specifically be shown and built upon and require not only your knowledge of the character, but your knowledge and skill in writing.

In essence, it's very difficult to be manipulative. It's very easy to say your character is manipulative. In this particular case, it's very difficult to be a good leader. It's extremely easy to say your character's a good leader. Simply saying your character are these things with the language and the word choice and the context being used, as it is now, totes the line of Godmodding very, very precariously. So, no, you can't just tell us, "My character has innate charisma. He's a natural born leader." You have to specifically show this to us in the IC. In written word. In plot and character development. You can tell us your plans and what you want out of the character, but you just can't state it the way you did with, "Blood of the King." When it comes to something like this, we want to see it shown to us. Having it spelled out leaves out the fun of it and creates unnecessary conflict from the assumption that every player is okay with this.

(I mean, even if you were to go around asking everyone here, "Are you okay with my character having X Trait?" it's still... it's still not going to fly. Because then this entire thing just went over everyone's heads. We don't want these traits explicitly stated as fact and truth; we want things of this nature to be developed in a way that gives everyone a choice to accept it. Where's the challenge and intrigue if you can just say, "My character is charismatic and intelligent and a leader"? I see CSes as a base format. A kind of "Begin Here" thing and if we start at the beginning with not enough room to branch out the plot and our characters, then what's the point? These things severely stifle growth, especially concerning growth between characters.)

@Witch Cat@Didos

We'll have to wait for the GM team to all get together tomorrow before we can accept these characters! You guys keep catching us when we're asleep or busy. ;3;

Or in this case, when we're about to go to sleep. Or well... *cough* I mean half the team is asleep already—you know what, sh. I'm going to bed. SH. I have class tomorrow. SHHHH

@HalfOfLancelot Who needs sleep? I just refresh the page every 5 seconds waiting for attention to come my way

@HalfOfLancelotAs much as everyone likes to believe that they’re the subject-matter-experts on gods in every god-related RP in existence, what it comes down to is GM subjectivity. What does the GM want and what does the GM believe is acceptable? Everyone has their own interpretation of the gods/goddesses. We all do the research. We all read the multiple interpretations and reworks of every myth because there isn’t one concrete interpretation.

Horus and Ra have been the same god in several interpretations so yes, Horus could be as powerful as Ra and Horus could have in fact even been him according to that interpretation written about him. He has been associated with the sun just as Ra, and also under Re. He is one of the most diverse gods in the Egyptian pantheon. It all depends on what interpretation you want to use.

What really needs to happen is the GM(s) should write a list next to each of the gods/goddesses in that list and specifically write what he/she/them deems is acceptable. That way, the powers you get for the characters should be directly conforming to what you deem acceptable rather than what we feel is acceptable. Because I guarantee you with how things have been going so far, we’re always going to be 90% wrong and will have to rework, rework, rework, rework…

When you have the sun as your power, then it can be easily written as one power because it is the sun, which performs several functions. Thus, the subsets. It wouldn’t have mattered if I made Sun, power slot two, and Moon power slot, three. Regardless it’s the characteristics of the Sun just as if I made a Squirrel demi-god. He can not only climb trees better than the average human, move with inhuman agility/reflexes, and talk to squirrels (three subset powers), but he can probably glide (subset four) if I wanted to go that route or even see in the dark (subset five). It’s all subjective.

But sparing everyone from the subjectivity as good as you can would be helpful and in order to do that you have to provide a short/brief description separating them all to your standards. It is a waste of time and creativity to constantly make profiles that are never going to be accepted because 1) you’re not giving feedback on what would be acceptable powers, and 2) you’re leaving it up to us to read your minds. It just doesn’t work.

As for personality, I can write my character having whatever x, y, z personality. You are correct. I cannot determine how the writers’ characters will react to my character but you out-right saying that my character will automatically be hated from the get-go is you taking OOC emotions and behavior IC, which is taboo in itself. A personality is a personality. I could have said “he’s an asshole” and you wouldn’t have said a thing about it because you find that me already setting how everyone is going to see him from the get-go in “that regard” is acceptable. Sorry guy, but that argument was hogwash.

I can write my character and say he’s going to be just like this, and then surprise! People actually like him. Oh, well, that was unexpected let me go edit the personality description and update my relationships with other characters. Whatever gives you the impression that the CS cannot be edited to conform to how things progress in the game…I have no idea. It happens in RP all the time. So really, whether I said he was a leader-type, it wouldn’t have mattered. He would either wind up being a leader-type as intended, or he might wind up being the asshole as unintended. You never know. But what shouldn’t happen is people’s emo-IRL-personalities flooding IC to dictate the character’s personality because that’s not writing. That is just garbage, and only inexperienced writers do that crap.

How your character views another should be related to that character’s personality and not your personality and how you feel IRL. Characters are supposed to be completely separate entities unless you’re telling me that you come online to role play yourself under different fantastical disguises. If that is the case, then so be it. Some people get off on that shit. No judgment here.