EDITED FOR: Reduction of Godmoder-y, more coherence, and general good taste

Username: Sypherkhode822

Character Name: Marguerite 'Mags' Stassen
Race/Species: Human Southlander (Vrettonian)

Gender: Lady

Age: 19

Career/Class: Hedge mage, Scavenger

Weapons:

• Burnished copper dagger
• necklace of assorted charms

Physical Description: A short, lithe girl dressed in wrapped rags, Mags has tightly curled hair that floats around her head in a messy halo. She has a wide mouth and a snub nose. Her skin is heavily tanned, and her face is dotted with freckles. She wears a lapis lazuli bracelet shaped like an eye. Around her neck is a necklace of numerous charms made of bone and wood. Each one is carved with a different glyph. She has a bronze dagger strapped to her thigh. She wears a large elven made knapsack which is stuffed with ancient pottery fragments, scraps of spell parchment, and other artifacts.

Armor: Mags' physical armor is practically nonexistent, her clothing barely maintaining her decency. Her magical armor is more sophisticated, as most of the charms she wears have some lingering traces of protection spells laid into them. Individually, they wouldn't be able to stop a stiff magical breeze, but taken as a whole, they offer a not inconsiderable defense to magic of all stripes.

Equipment/Other: Mags' has a backpack filled with basic survival equipment, a small leather bag of Jocasta Nuts. She carries with her archeological tools. The lapis lazuli bracelet she wears absorbs light and heat from the sun, and can reproduce it after reciting a short spell. She has a small spellbook wrapped in oilskin, along with numerous spell scrolls and pottery fragments.

Mental Description/Personality: Growing up in a small settlement in the wilderness doesn't lend towards demureness, and Mags has often been described as a free spirit. Going into crypts and and ruins has hardened Mags, and is rarely disturbed by anything she encounters. Having chosen to remain in the wilderness instead of joining her family in Riverhope, Mags is a fierce individualist. In spite of everything else, Mags is bright and intelligent, able to make intuitive leaps of reasoning many others would miss. Although she wouldn't think to describe it as such, Mags is heavily addicted to magic, and is compelled to seek deeper and more powerful spells, just for the rush of casting them.

Goals: Obsessed with discovering the existence of a long lost civilization that she has found a few passing references to in Praelorian accounts. She has heard that there is a Dragon who might know something, and is trying to find the Dragon.

Background/History:

• Parents were members of an archeological expedition sponsored by an eccentric Vrettonian mage going to study a Praelorian ruin in the South.
• Born in the small settlement that had grown up around the archeological dig, the settlement was considered a bastion of civilization in the wilderness. Her parents are both scholars, tasked with translating the artefacts found.
• Mags is the first child born in the settlement, and is doted upon. From an incredibly young age, she is taught the basics of reading old Praelorian and other ancient scripts.
• Mags shows a natural inclination towards magic, and the mage takes it upon himself to tutor the girl, training her to become his assistant.
• With the assistance of Mags, the mage successfully casts an ancient navigation spell, revealing what the stars looked like a thousand years ago. This is a breakthrough, signaling that the research is coming to a close.
• Mags shows interest in uncovering new ruins, and accompanies the mage when he examines a crypt a few miles south of the settlement.
• Mags starts going out into the wilderness by herself, exploring and practicing her spellcraft in novel situations.
• With the research completed deemed complete, the settlement slowly begins to disband.
• Mags is the last to leave the settlement, having told her parents she would join them in Riverhope when they left a month previous.
• Mags- going through the leftover journals in the settlement, comes across a translated Praelorian history describing an abandoned civilization that had once rivaled the gods in it's magic.
• Mags sets off to find the long civilization, going to other ruins in search of more clues.
• Mags builds up her ward necklace and her knowledge of spells, determined to become stronger and find the civilization.
• Hearing about the existence of a Dragon nearby, Mags determines to speak with it and discover what it knows.

Spells:

Specialty: Mago-archeology. Mags excels in drawing out the magic of ancient artefacts and making them work again. Her training has mostly been focused on uncovering and mastering a disparate range of spells with little dedication to a specific type of magic. This means that while she lacks in magical strength or technique, she is able to quickly learn new and often unusual spells that would take others a longer time to grasp.

• Excellent Prismatic Spray- A specialty of her tutor, this creates a spray incandescent magical flechettes, striking and puncturing.
• Lasnatza's Dismal Veil- causes water droplets in the air to condense and obscure the vision of it's target, magically clinging to them and making everything appear from within a deep fog. The spell naturally dissipates after 30 minutes.
• Dunexan's Gentle Protector- Creates a cushion of air to appear and slow anything rapidly approaching- slowing an arrow, resisting the stab of a blade, slowing a fall, etc.
• Agelghug's Characteristic Jump- Causes target to rocket upwards several feet into the air suddenly, and then coming crashing down again.
• Aznai's Tacky Hold- Magically fastens an object to another, making it impossible to remove without the counterspell or the application of saltwater under moonlight.
• Phaflasta's Predatory Fusillade- Animates several nearby light objects, levitating and launching them at the targets.
• Olbrelts Way Finder- Magnetizes a twig, making it point north.
• Ainth's Misanthropic Assemblage- Summons a small floating globule of a sticky goo which can be launched. Once the goo strikes, splattering, it will emit a scent that becomes irresistible to all nearby insects, who will be drawn to whatever the goo has latched onto. The scent fades within 15 minutes, or can be removed with all vinegar's except apple cider vinegar.
• Symai's Ebullient Gust- Originally meant for providing wind for sailboats, this spell has been adapted to create a focused gust of air.
• Malvolio's Deciphering Prism- Able to uncover otherwise hidden magic, revealing traps, wards, and veiled enchantments. When used in a place flooded with magic (a mage's workshop, etc.) it becomes overwhelmed.
• Padli's Academic Litany- Gain eidetic (photographic) memory for a brief period of time. This recollection can be then transmitted to other people through a short ritual. The memory itself fades soon after.
• Marguerite's Incantation of Minor Mending- A self created spell, this simply repairs something small that has been broken. When there are missing pieces, it draws on the surrounding environment to rebuild it. This only works on nonliving things.

Made a person! She's probably the most out-there character I've tried in a while, but it should be fun.
(I also imported Jocasta Nuts from the other Rp I'm playing. They're a trans-dimensional schedule II narcotic.)

Made a person! She's probably the most out-there character I've tried in a while, but it should be fun.
(I also imported Jocasta Nuts from the other Rp I'm playing. They're a trans-dimensional schedule II narcotic.)

Some of my critiques:

- God mode online! So she's a mage, uses a bow, a dagger, has magic armour which also makes her strong, fast, able to see in the dark, oh, and she's a mage. Damn, my knight is starting to feel like a powerless little nobody.

- A bit too similar to my character. Wakes up with no memory but has a powerful gift, in your case, magic and an alternative personality, though in your case it exists in parallel with the original personality and not on top of it or below;

- So how much magic does she know? I take it that at 19, not much, right? Anyway, it wasn't very clear.

Hope my critiques helped.

<Snipped quote by Sypherkhode822>

Some of my critiques:

- God mode online! So she's a mage, uses a bow, a dagger, has magic armour which also makes her strong, fast, able to see in the dark, oh, and she's a mage. Damn, my knight is starting to feel like a powerless little nobody.

- A bit too similar to my character. Wakes up with no memory but has a powerful gift, in your case, magic and an alternative personality, though in your case it exists in parallel with the original personality and not on top of it or below;

- So how much magic does she know? I take it that at 19, not much, right? Anyway, it wasn't very clear.

Hope my critiques helped.

I agree with all the above, I'm afraid. Though there are some things you could do to fix it

- The mask should be a lot less powerful, and perhaps more important to her character. Seeing in the dark is fine and perhaps it enhances her ability to cast fire magic (a more ungod-mode of saying 'immune to fire' could be that she can cast a really powerful fire-shield with this knowledge that other ordinary mage's defenses (including Alice's) would break down long before her's or something, but it isn't infalible and others can work with this). I feel like the reflexes and extra strength thing is a bit too much as well. You could say that maybe it acts sort of like a drug would to an addict, it steadies her and she feels better with it but it doesn't propel her abilities into obscenity

- Expanding on my 'more important to your character' it might be a good way to make it have more of an impact on your character. Whereas Jezebeth's thingy is more subtle, you could make yours far more audacious, maybe she is effectively two people in the same body, and the mask can talk or take control of her whenever it wants? Just food for thought, I don't want to hijack your character or anything

- It might be worth specifying the kind of magic she's good at, or a few typical spells she prefers to use. It's fine if you want to use more than that selection, but it gives us an idea of what she's like as oppose to know where we have absolutely no idea

Cool, thanks guys! I did spin this out in a single 3.00 am slamfest, so I'll go and top it up. The mask thing was sorta something that evolved halfway through and ended up not being all that coherent. I think I'll either get rid of the mask or make it far more relevant.

Updated my dood. Got rid of the mask, added some fun spells.

@Sypherkhode822 With 'Excellent Prismatic Spray' what do you mean when you say that the light shreds through anything it passes through?

@Sypherkhode822 With 'Excellent Prismatic Spray' what do you mean when you say that the light shreds through anything it passes through?

@Sypherkhode822 I was wonderiing that too. So I was thinking: 'Man, Marguerite should probably aim carefully and try not to hit the ground or she might split the planet in two.'

Either that or it would be a severely underwhelming spell, because light doesn't pass through most things.

This has my attention. Is there any room left in here?

@Sypherkhode822I shall look at your W.I.P. tonight

@Mega BirbYes indeedie!

And I shall post soon!

<Snipped quote by The Fated Fallen>

@Sypherkhode822 I was wonderiing that too. So I was thinking: 'Man, Marguerite should probably aim carefully and try not to hit the ground or she might split the planet in two.'

Either that or it would be a severely underwhelming spell, because light doesn't pass through most things.

Excellent Prismatic Spray just comes from Tales of a Dying Earth. Really, it's like an extra-rainbow-y magic missile. It's not carving through planets anytime soon. Maybe small, very porous planets made of a soft crumbly cheese.

@Mega Birb
is that a birb?

waddup

@Banana
Same ol' same ol'.

Can I piggyback off the werebear?

@Mega Birb
That depends.

If you want to be a werebear, no thats my job.

If you want to ride the werebear, hell ye my dood.

@Banana
I WAS intending to werebirb but now you've given me the idea of a bear-mounted cavalier.

@Mega Birb
You are welcome to ride on the back of Ursaren.

@Sypherkhode822Not a bad character and would love to have them. Here is my GM critique however.

1) There would be no powers to rival the Gods, because they use a completely different kind of 'magic' than mortals do. But I suppose the rumor that a civilization once could rival the Gods could be exaggerated.
2)A lot of people would probably stay in the Southland, even after their purpose is done, so your expedition base having been there for a few years might just wanna stay put. They don't need to, but it seems logical they wouldn't do a near suicidal trip twice. Even the water has Sea monsters, and they might be tolled by the Elven Navy to travel through their waters. Just something to think on, you don't need to change it necessarily.
3) Runes are for Dwarves. Use 'Glyphs' for your charms
4)Mik-Damat's Defiant Noise and Excellent Prismatic Spray I'll have you take away. Or at least, take away the former (even though it';s amusing lol), and depower the latter a step. (Or at least, keep in mind it might not be an insta kill)
5) Yes, TFF is right, make sure to note what kind of magic you specialize in, even if you have a variety of spells.
6) That, and Specify where she hails from ancestrally. Like for her race, put 'Southland Human (Vrettonian)' or some such.

Other than that, interesting and well made character!

1) There would be no powers to rival the Gods, because they use a completely different kind of 'magic' than mortals do. But I suppose the rumor that a civilization once could rival the Gods could be exaggerated.

Yeah, I was going for Atlantis level hyperbole

2)A lot of people would probably stay in the Southland, even after their purpose is done, so your expedition base having been there for a few years might just wanna stay put. They don't need to, but it seems logical they wouldn't do a near suicidal trip twice. Even the water has Sea monsters, and they might be tolled by the Elven Navy to travel through their waters. Just something to think on, you don't need to change it necessarily.

3) Runes are for Dwarves. Use 'Glyphs' for your charms

ur mums a dwarf No problem!

4)Mik-Damat's Defiant Noise I'll have you take away.

I humbly plead that you will turn it into an artefact that will be later lootable in game. It's honestly one of the best things I've ever thought of.

5) Yes, TFF is right, make sure to note what kind of magic you specialize in, even if you have a variety of spells.

I'll figure something out for her to be extra-decent in

I humbly plead that you will turn it into an artefact that will be later lootable in game. It's honestly one of the best things I've ever thought of.

I'll allow this.

I hate to ask someone to assume the role of Gecko but can one of you kindly give me the jist of what's happened so far?