Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by Sophrus
Raw
Avatar of Sophrus

Sophrus

Member Seen 3 yrs ago

@Sophrus
If its any solice Bolladreq will never be used offensively since hes bound to the treasure hoard.
City destroyers are the highest calibur we'll have. Enemies, both good and evil aligned, will have just as strong forces.
Some missions will be cakewalks though, all matter of fun really.

IF your going for the tech aspect, why not have airships armed with a devastating cannon?


Thats not a bad idea either, like warcraft zepplins dropping bombs and shooting guns...

but i still think ill incorporate this because, awesome factor.
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by BayRat
Raw
OP
Avatar of BayRat

BayRat Oh No

Member Seen 3 days ago

@Sophrus
Not gonna lie, that's pretty cool.
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by KoL
Raw
Avatar of KoL

KoL Knight of Lorelei

Member Seen 0-24 hrs ago

@dragonmancer

I've pretty much decided what I'm gonna do. It's still kinda secret but I assure you that it's really on the darker side of the evil scale.

I hope you have no qualms with tiny things like gore, rape, potential human experimentation, and assholery galore.
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by BayRat
Raw
OP
Avatar of BayRat

BayRat Oh No

Member Seen 3 days ago

@KoL
Well it is an evil world out there. Just avoid writing anything in bad taste.
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by TheWendil
Raw
Avatar of TheWendil

TheWendil The Wendil-Sama™ / ಠ_ಠ

Member Seen 1 day ago

Well it is an evil world out there. Just avoid writing anything in bad taste.


Evil cares not for tastes. But I suppose I can spare a few limbs for the victims.
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by KoL
Raw
Avatar of KoL

KoL Knight of Lorelei

Member Seen 0-24 hrs ago

@KoL
Well it is an evil world out there. Just avoid writing anything in bad taste.


Don't worry, I'll leave the really tasty parts for your imagination. It's always funnier this way, after all. Especially when feats that would make Mengele blush in embarrassment are involved.
1x Like Like
Hidden 7 yrs ago 7 yrs ago Post by Thecrash20
Raw
Avatar of Thecrash20

Thecrash20

Member Seen 4 yrs ago

Mostly done. It's late so I'll do any spelling or grammar corrections later. @dragonmancer It should be done enough to take a look. I excluded spells and Artifact due to his equipment are conduits (like staves) for his spells.

Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by shagranoz
Raw

shagranoz

Member Seen 8 days ago



Name: Medea, The Walking Damnation

Race: Human witch

Age: 29

Size: 5 foot even, 110 lbs.

Gender: Female

Sexuality: Bisexual

Religion: Medea worships demons and other foul monstrosities, blasphemous things that were long forgotten and should have stayed that way.

Job: Specialist in dark magic

Personality: Medea is a very ambitious individual- her long-term goal is nothing short of world domination, and she'll backstab anyone who gets in her way, even her fellow Knights. She is quiet and manipulative; everything she does is to further some goal, and she's not the kind to raze a village in a fit of anger, although she probably could. In council with Lancelot, she has earned a reputation for wisdom and practicality far beyond her years.

Bio: Medea is the daughter of Morgan le Fay, the greatest and most evil sorceress the world has ever known. She learned much at her mother's knee- how to summon demons, cast curses, and ensnare men. Then came the fall of Camelot.

Lancelot did not ask Morgan to participate in the final siege, and privately, the witch seethed at the slight. In fact, she ranted and raved so much that she had a heart attack. Free of her mother's influence, Medea threw in with Lancelot, rising quickly through the ranks of the Knights of Evil.

Skills/Strengths/Talents

Call to Hell- Medea can summon demons to do her bidding, though she doesn't like to do so unless she needs to destroy a fortified position. No demon will obey a mortal for free, and their prices are often difficult for her to pay.

Corrupt the Land- Medea's first step when destroying a village. Pumping the essence of raw evil into the land, Medea makes food rot, water turn putrid, and sickens people and livestock. This leaves the villagers too weak to flee, vulnerable to the knockout punch that is coming.

Virulent Death- Medea calls forth a plague, causing fevers, lesions and bleeding. Most victims die within seventy-two hours, and those few who survive are finished off by the final stroke.

The Undead Horde- After her death plague has run its course, Medea enters the destroyed village, raising the dead as zombies under her will. They tear apart whoever's still alive, adding to the corpses she commands. Her army now consists of about a hundred human zombies, with a handful of bears to serve as heavy troops

Complete Immortality- Medea has developed a ritual that ensures that, no matter what abuse her body and soul endure, she will always survive. A favorite tactic to induce her opponents to surrender is to simply stand in front of them, letting them see how futile their assaults are. Note, however, that extreme methods of "death" like burning and scattering the ashes may take years to recover from.

Soul Devouring-A little trick Medea picked up from a minor gluttony demon. Among Medea's many jobs for the Knights is interrogation. After she has extracted all the information that racks and thumbscrews can, she draws a ritual circle around her victim, then slits their throat. The soul can't escape the circle, enabling Medea to eat it in one massive bite. The victim spends their afterlife being digested, and Medea gets a small but permanent power boost.

Weaknesses- For all Medea's power, her biggest spells take many hours to set up, meaning that if one knows she's in the area and finds her while she's doing her prep, they can disrupt her something fierce. In addition, she's physically small and frail, and can't do much in a hand-to-hand fight.

Artifact: The Book of Azatoth. Written in blood on human skin, this book contains everything anyone could ever want to know about Hell and its demonic denizens. Medea keeps this on her person at all times, in case she needs to know the ritual to summon a specific demon.
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by BayRat
Raw
OP
Avatar of BayRat

BayRat Oh No

Member Seen 3 days ago

@shagranoz
Oh Boy

Well first off you didn't use any of the coding I provided for the sheet. Which isn't the biggest problem with this submission but I highly advise you fix that among other things.

This isn't your fault, but I already have someone working on a witch that is the daughter of Morgana. Which isn't too problematic as it is, in fact her's has her heritage a bit more distant so you can easily pass it as a long lost sister, but once that sheet gets over here I advise the two of you collab to avoid any lore inconsistencies. (In hindsight having an rp with Camelot as a central figure, I probably should have expected something like this.)

Her personality and heritage makes her, an unlikely candidate to be a Knight of Evil. Not that Lancelot doesn't enjoy his knights fighting over each other, but her world domination part is certainly a contradiction to what Lancelot idiolizes. Granted, she could keep this part a secret and just use this position to her advantage, but I'd like to emphasize if that ambition is found out; it can result in her death or exile.

Speaking of which; "Complete Immortality- Medea has developed a ritual that ensures that, no matter what abuse her body and soul endure, she will always survive. A favorite tactic to induce her opponents to surrender is to simply stand in front of them, letting them see how futile their assaults are. Note, however, that extreme methods of "death" like burning and scattering the ashes may take years to recover from"

TO be fair, there are plenty of hax spells that can bypass this, however having this form of immortality with the power she already has seems a bit much, especially when she doesn't really give the vibes of a true necromancer (despite having many necromancy-ish spells; something I'll get into later down.)
It would be much more reasonable to suggest that she has achieved immortality age-wise, and this can maybe include a resilience to diseases and a minor regeneration factor to still give her some survival abilities.

One of the biggest problems I have with this sheet is lack in consistency. You emphasize her abilities regarding hell's demons, yet you also give her generic necromancy spells to boot that don't really give the idea of flow. Yet she also lacks any variety outside from necromancy and demon magic, the overall feel of this character severely lacks in flavor. She is also a witch of Morgana La Faye, someone who was far more famed as an illusionary or Enchantress and seldom had any dealings with demons.

Speaking of which, demons aren't usually creatures ready at service. They are out for their own goals, and any deals made with them don't come without price. Liliana from MTG is a good reference for dealing with demons if you want to go that route, her necromancy and dealings with demons are much more in flavor and I certainly recommend giving her a look for inspiration if you want to continue this motiff.

Soul swallower I'm also a bit torn on. I like the idea of having an interrogator but having her permanently absorb a soul, as well as gaining a vague permanent buff from it; really seems a bit too...much.

Before I get on with balancing recommendations, your sheet is very barebones. If you look at one of my NPC's for instance you will see that many of the information provided is much more fleshed out, while some of the important information on your end seems barely fleshed out. Her bio alone is only a few sentences. Don't take this the wrong way but I don't think you're cut out for a roleplay on the High Casual spectrum.

IF you are serious and willing to keep working on a sheet however; I recommend either starting from scratch or at least cut out most of things here and start over. To your credit you do have some interesting ideas here.

For instance instead of soul swallowing, she can either imprison the soul in an inanimate object to 'animate' them in a cursed form (As part of torture/interrogation.) Or she may offer this soul to a demon to help fulfill the idea of paying a demon for its service. Once again this shouldn't be the only cost for working with demons, but it is something I'd recommend.

If you can really sell the ideal that summoning demons has a lot of detriment consquences and costs, then the Book of Azatoth will work much better as an artifact.

Sorry if I'm a bit hard but I do try to keep things in my management consistence and of quality; So this submission is rejected.
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by TheWendil
Raw
Avatar of TheWendil

TheWendil The Wendil-Sama™ / ಠ_ಠ

Member Seen 1 day ago

I'm pretty sure we don't have to follow the exact coding of the CS skeleton, so long as we have the required fields filled out.
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by BayRat
Raw
OP
Avatar of BayRat

BayRat Oh No

Member Seen 3 days ago

I'm pretty sure we don't have to follow the exact coding of the CS skeleton, so long as we have the required fields filled out.


You're free to pretty up the CS code as much as you want, but this sheet's lack of coding is what bothers me the most.
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by BayRat
Raw
OP
Avatar of BayRat

BayRat Oh No

Member Seen 3 days ago

@Thecrash20
OH btw, let me know when that sheet is ready to be reviewed. I'll wait to give it a full review when you let me know.
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by Thecrash20
Raw
Avatar of Thecrash20

Thecrash20

Member Seen 4 yrs ago

@dragonmancer

@Thecrash20
OH btw, let me know when that sheet is ready to be reviewed. I'll wait to give it a full review when you let me know.


Most of the Meat is there. Just need to do a final review for grammar and spelling corrections. If you could look at it now so I can just make the edits all together tomorrow, that would be great.
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by BayRat
Raw
OP
Avatar of BayRat

BayRat Oh No

Member Seen 3 days ago

@Thecrash20
Pretty good sheet. Love the demon flavor, just have a few suggestions.

One, demons are generally weak to silver (among other magical beings.) Since he has a human host this weakness only 'dampens' some of his demon-related abilities, and silver weapons may bypass his durability (Granted he isn't completely vulnerable to the material, as a beef nugget I expect him to tank such injuries regardless.)

Two, I don't really see any artifacts gifted from Lancelot. If you wanted me to come up with one thats fine, but just to note that an artifact could just be a ring that does nothing, or some really useful enchantment.

Three, his bio should include how he was recruited by Lancelot (Which can be something as measily as a message from a talking crow) as well as why exactly he wanted to join/motivations for joining.

With that out of the way, with what you have provided me I suggest his role to be a Conqueror. He has the power to easily take over poorly defended cities and armies that aren't well equipped with dealing with such a monstrous foe. His missions will mostly be solitary journeys to demolish cities or outposts of various factions, but may be involved in a team based assault against higher tier enemies as well.
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by LadyRunic
Raw
Avatar of LadyRunic

LadyRunic The Laughing Raven

Member Seen 5 days ago

Behold! Ironteeth Witch ALysse Blackwater


Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by BayRat
Raw
OP
Avatar of BayRat

BayRat Oh No

Member Seen 3 days ago

We have @LadyRunic with our first accepted Character! Looking forward to the rest of the character sheets to follow.
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by TheWendil
Raw
Avatar of TheWendil

TheWendil The Wendil-Sama™ / ಠ_ಠ

Member Seen 1 day ago



Who's Hohenheim? Ask @KoL.
Hidden 7 yrs ago 7 yrs ago Post by Vox Angelis
Raw

Vox Angelis Dust in the wind

Banned Seen 9 mos ago

Par’Sath Eth’Erax (Parsath/Etherax)

The Apostle of Death/Guide of the Damned/The Deathless One


General description

Race

Deathless (Ancient Dragon Heritage)

Age

Parsath lived for millennials. There are no actual accurate records of his existence in the annals of humanity.

Size

As a spirit-kin, Etherax holds no real form, and thus doesn’t weight nor has an actual height. However, soul-bound set of armor and clothes the Apostle of Death uses to manifest himself to the few rare mortals he appears to are of an imposing approximate of 6 foot and 6 inches tall.

Gender

Again, as a spirit, the Damned Guide has no gender, but used to be a male Dragon in his previous life. His voice is that of a creature whenever spoken, echoing in a deep and sinister whisper.

Sexuality

None. The Deathless Dragon transcended desires as his spirit ascended to become a Deathless.

Religion

Death. Par'Sath worships the concept as something fundamental. To every beginning, there is an end. For every spark of life, there is a final breath.

Job

Being so attuned to the world of the dead, Parsath Etherax’s occupation is to lead the deceased souls to the Great Beyond and lay them to rest permanently. As such, the Deathless One has undertaken the thankless job of burying/disposing the corpses. In the rare occurrence a funeral is held, Etherax will be the one to conduct the passing ceremony.


Personality

The Death Apostle is a keen being. Wise, analytic, focused, calm, those are all adjectives to describe the ascended spirit-kin. It is believed that his enlightened state of mind has destroyed the principles of sins or virtues from his very soul, leaving him as a stern and cold watcher.

However, something obscure and unsettling remains behind this shadowy mask.


Biography

In his living, the Black Dragon known as Par’Sath Eth’Erax was of a studious kind. It is said that greed was the driving factor of these mighty beasts, and the Deathless one was of no exception. His lust for knowledge was so great that eventually, after spending so much time among humankind, the Dragon had nothing left to learn.


It was after spending so much time wondering what could possibly be done that the immortal being contemplated death. But death would be a waste of his knowledge. To have gathered so much, there was a way to keep it all even as he would disappear from this plane of existence. The more Etherax thought about it, the more he cursed himself for being so greedy. There were uses of this knowledge, but he wasn’t willing to put it to actual use. He had ruled villages, towns, cities, countries, empires even over the eras with this knowledge, but it was vain, as nothing was everlasting, and eternity was a lonesome existence.

One day, the empire Etherax had built had crumbled, as the sudden disappearance of its ruler threw the lands in turmoil and ended the legacy in its aftermath. Since then, Parsath was never heard of again. Some say he got bored of the life of opulence he was living, some said he had been assassinated during one fateful night, his corpse carried away.

How exactly did this ancient being came from being recruited by Lancelot? Only the infamous Knight and Etherax know. As far as his motives went, perhaps there was still something in the old being that attracted the Deathless to the Dark Knight’s proposal. A fateful uprising that seemed to distinguish this rise to power from the others. Ever since Lancelot took the power for himself, it would appear the sinister sight of a Reaper followed in his wake.



Traits and Equipment







Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by BayRat
Raw
OP
Avatar of BayRat

BayRat Oh No

Member Seen 3 days ago

@Riffus Maximus

Awesome. A weirdly cleric esq character for a dark and mysterious being. He certainly has a unique role for the cast. His job, for Lancelot's sake specifically, should be that of the cleric. Only instead of healing characters he is responsible for making sure that a valuable Knight of Evil stays in commission, should they die. However, he has the freedom to choose whether or not he me give the fallen comrade a second chance.

One of the problems I have this character is that there doesn't seem to be an exact limitation for the res ability, and while I like both abilities to reconstruct people that have been erased from existence as well as being brought back to life; I don't want the risk of death to be completely removed from the game.

First I'd limited the res abilities to apply only to entities with mortal souls or similar. Characters based off demons and similar entities can not be brought back in the same way (Since they were never really alive or dead to begin with) as well as undead based characters (Since they already weren't alive.)
Another limitation I'd recommend is that a character can only be brought back once or twice, and cannot be brought back by the same means again.

His mastery over death I think could use a bit more to it. For instance, I'd like to see an additional ability that allies the direct manipulation of spirits and curses retaining to death; Giving him curse removals and being able to deal with say a poltergeist or haunted house by giving them a properly funeral. (I think you already elaborated that he could do that, but I'd like to see this being able as an offensive ability against such unique opponents.)

As for the Hour Glass artifact, if you don't have any ideas for it I have a few.
-A talisman for spirit channeling
-A charm that can protect a target from death (Not directly, but from death spells that affect mortals. E.X. A theoretical ability similar to death note used on a target wouldn't work if the target was charmed with this artifact.)
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by BayRat
Raw
OP
Avatar of BayRat

BayRat Oh No

Member Seen 3 days ago

@TheWindel
First I love the organization of the sheet, its all nice and colorful. Certainly shows quality.

Let me start by saying this is going to be hard to critique since you have this character paired with another that hasn't been posted yet. I'll do my best to critique what I can here but information left in the paired character might change my mind whatever I say here.

My first issue with this sheet as you are really vague with her overall character. If you want to keep some information out of public eye, that's fine, and I certainly don't mind the mystery behind what she is and all because thats actually pretty interesting.

However there are areas with her abilities and lack of weaknesses to compensate for her versatility that makes this hard for me to critique balance wise.

To start; "♔ Synthese: Whatever the Empress is, it’s shape and form is enough to influence the world around her wherever she goes. This phenomenon takes the form of an invisible mist of disease and pestilence with a wide variety of results on the intended victims. How far the Empress can extend this sphere of control is something she has yet to disclose, but one can assume she can poison entire cities quite easily. As this can be quite bothersome to approach allies with, she can determine when to activate the Synthese."

While this ability is interesting, the biggest issue I have with this is what it does. While you do describe it acts as an agent of disease and pestilence you also say it has a wide variety of results on the intended victim. In addition for it to having an incredible range, this is concerning because as a gm I'm not sure how powerful it is; nor on who would be effective or uneffected by it. SINCE it is based on disease, I recommend that it only applies to living, organic characters (This excludes undead, and various supernatural entities) and that perhaps you can list what exactly this disease can do to its victims.

The alchemy and Colgarity abilities are fine. However I'd like more description on her summon; both its physical description and size, and what its exact powers are. Depending upon how powerful it is may require drawbacks such as damage sacrifice, limited time for summon, etc.

As far as weaknesses go, while the first is interesting since she can't be far without her owner; I'd like to see an additional drawback to her form. She seems to be based in some sort of alchemy, at least in her physical body anyway. Some weaknesses could include, for instance, that direct contact with water could make her fall apart or if she's stitched together like some kind of frankenstein monster she needs to be careful over physical exertion as to not tear herself apart. Since you were vague with what she is, its hard for me give any weaknesses aside from guessing what she is and offering suggestions. If the former ideas wouldn't work, I implore you to add some more physical limitations of your own.

With all that said, the sheet otherwise looks in order. I will refrain from giving a full judgement until KoL posts his character for me to review as well, however.
↑ Top
© 2007-2024
BBCode Cheatsheet