1 Guest viewing this page
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by Crimson Lion
Raw
Avatar of Crimson Lion

Crimson Lion Watch Me Roar

Member Seen 3 yrs ago

@Champion Also Lelouch from code geass. Not the best fighter but great strategy
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by Champion
Raw

Champion Champ

Member Seen 3 yrs ago

@Crimson Lion Another good example.

@jynmi88 How many characters are we allowed?
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by jynmi88
Raw
GM
Avatar of jynmi88

jynmi88 The adventurer

Member Seen 3 yrs ago

I don't know any of those characters. I'm so behind O.O

@Champion

@Crimson Lion Another good example.

@jynmi88 How many characters are we allowed?


Just one for now.
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by BladeSS4
Raw
Avatar of BladeSS4

BladeSS4

Member Seen 9 hrs ago

Hope you are still accepting characters just threw this character together hope it works for this.

Hidden 7 yrs ago 7 yrs ago Post by jynmi88
Raw
GM
Avatar of jynmi88

jynmi88 The adventurer

Member Seen 3 yrs ago

@BladeSS4

Hope you are still accepting characters just threw this character together hope it works for this.



Yes, there's still space.
However, there area few issues with your CS.
1. The Grammar is a little bad. Normally, I don't mind, because this is only a casual level rp, and everybody makes mistakes, but some of this is a bit difficult to read.
2. Regarding the part where you character is inside a hollow. While for the most part this is fine, there is one thing I want to make clear. Currently, none of the characters have any unique potential to be vizards. Yes, there is a possibility that somewhere down the line a "vizarding" situation will occur, that's not case now. So at the most, all could be said about the event was it left psychological damages.
3. I'm going to have to say no on the shikai ability. While I'm open to some bankai being able to manipulate Reishi, later on, it's a hard no on shikai which are capable of doing this. As it's just too broken of an ability for too early on in the series.
3.5 Also, for future record, I'm going to say that no single ability is going to be able to mess with all forms of Reishi. At the most lenient It'll either be basic reishi or sentient reishi(the kind associated with a spiritual entity and yes this does include kido)
Hidden 7 yrs ago 7 yrs ago Post by Renny
Raw
Avatar of Renny

Renny S E A S O N E D

Member Seen 10 mos ago



@jynmi88 Sorry for disappearing. I was taken on a two day excursion lol. I'm back now.
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by jynmi88
Raw
GM
Avatar of jynmi88

jynmi88 The adventurer

Member Seen 3 yrs ago

@Renny



@jynmi88 Sorry for disappearing. I was taken on a two day excursion lol. I'm back now.

Hey! Welcome back. To be honest, was a bit worried you lost interest. So it's good to see you're still interested.

As for your CS, there's a couple issues.
1. All our characters are starting off at about the same place, which will be just before graduating from the Shinigami academy. Which causes a bit of issue with your character's background since it states that he's already working in the 12th division.
2. I'm a bit confused on what your character's shikai does. I get the part about revolting, as in rebelling, and how flight would fit in, but I'm not sure how it would incorporate doubling your character's physical abilities. Is it based on revolt in some way like it increases the amount he's capable of pushing something away from him, or?......

Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by jynmi88
Raw
GM
Avatar of jynmi88

jynmi88 The adventurer

Member Seen 3 yrs ago

@Crimson Lion@Crimson Lion@Masahiro@Champion
Just a head's up you guys. We'll probably get started in the next couple of days. I'm just trying to hold out a little bit more for the people who're still working on their CSs
Hidden 7 yrs ago 7 yrs ago Post by Renny
Raw
Avatar of Renny

Renny S E A S O N E D

Member Seen 10 mos ago

@jynmi88 I fixed the first mistake. As for the abilities, its not adhering to a single class of Zanpakuto. I did change his enhanced strength to be restricted to his armored arm though. And also switched up his Shikai ability.
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by BladeSS4
Raw
Avatar of BladeSS4

BladeSS4

Member Seen 9 hrs ago

Let's try this again.

Sorry about the grammar mistakes, My grammar does suck from time to time. I do improve though or at least I try to as I go. Always trying to reread things before posting them, but yeah, this is far from the best character I have created. Hopefully with the changes i made to the ability of the shikai will be better now.

As for your other conserns, the number 2 point, I wasnt planning on making Bakuto a vizard. The hollow stuff I added isnt suppose to lead to being a vizard it is to explain his more chaotic personality and to explain why he might have quirks as the rp starts to move.

As for the third consern, I changed the zanpakuto's shikai ability as i said before.. Going with something hopefully a bit more acceptable. Going for a more of a wind enhanced zanpakuto instead of the reashi manipulating one that was before. Going to leave room for the characer to grow as the rp goes on hopefully

Hidden 7 yrs ago 7 yrs ago Post by jynmi88
Raw
GM
Avatar of jynmi88

jynmi88 The adventurer

Member Seen 3 yrs ago

@Renny

@jynmi88 I fixed the first mistake. As for the abilities, its not adhering to a single class of Zanpakuto. I did change his enhanced strength to be restricted to his armored arm though. And also switched up his Shikai ability.




@jynmi88 Sorry for disappearing. I was taken on a two day excursion lol. I'm back now.


The backstory is good to go now, but there's still issue with the shikai's ability.
Of course, a shikai doesn't have to fall into a single type, but usually they do tend to have one core ability from which all secondary abilities are derived. From what I can gather, your character's shikai has three. Revolt, dark fire clones, and increased strength in his sword wielding arm.

Now, I'm fine with the increased strength section because it's so basic and is limited to one arm, but the revolt and dark fire clones are two different abilities that each have potential to branch out over a wide area. So I'm going to have to ask that you select one of those, or find a way to make it so one of the abilities falls in with the other.

@BladeSS4

Let's try this again.

Sorry about the grammar mistakes, My grammar does suck from time to time. I do improve though or at least I try to as I go. Always trying to reread things before posting them, but yeah, this is far from the best character I have created. Hopefully with the changes i made to the ability of the shikai will be better now.

As for your other conserns, the number 2 point, I wasnt planning on making Bakuto a vizard. The hollow stuff I added isnt suppose to lead to being a vizard it is to explain his more chaotic personality and to explain why he might have quirks as the rp starts to move.

As for the third consern, I changed the zanpakuto's shikai ability as i said before.. Going with something hopefully a bit more acceptable. Going for a more of a wind enhanced zanpakuto instead of the reashi manipulating one that was before. Going to leave room for the characer to grow as the rp goes on hopefully


Okay. Your character is accepted now. Just try and keep an eye on the grammar from this point on and things should be good.
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by Renny
Raw
Avatar of Renny

Renny S E A S O N E D

Member Seen 10 mos ago

@jynmi88 Alright, so I switched up my Shikai ability, since I was incapable of fitting my image onto Yidrias, I went with my second choice and is going to have it being a lightning-type Zanpakuto.
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by jynmi88
Raw
GM
Avatar of jynmi88

jynmi88 The adventurer

Member Seen 3 yrs ago

@Renny

@jynmi88 Alright, so I switched up my Shikai ability, since I was incapable of fitting my image onto Yidrias, I went with my second choice and is going to have it being a lightning-type Zanpakuto.


Alrighty! Your characters looks good.
Approved!
1x Thank Thank
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by Renny
Raw
Avatar of Renny

Renny S E A S O N E D

Member Seen 10 mos ago

Alrighty guys

shall we talk ...
relationships???
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by Crimson Lion
Raw
Avatar of Crimson Lion

Crimson Lion Watch Me Roar

Member Seen 3 yrs ago

Umm ... ok. Weird place to talk about this but it's fine. So I'm talking to this girl and honestly idk if it's going anywhere but she texted me saying we should get brunch tomorrow and there's this whole drama with her roommates

(Joking)
1x Laugh Laugh
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by Red Mage
Raw
Avatar of Red Mage

Red Mage

Member Seen 6 yrs ago

My character is open to it but she obviously is not with anyone right now
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by Renny
Raw
Avatar of Renny

Renny S E A S O N E D

Member Seen 10 mos ago

@Crimson Lion@Red Mage Saishu is probably one of the more relaxed guys at the Spiritual Arts Academy. He daydreams with a smile, finishes his tests and exams a bit early, and yet, for the most parts remains a shut door. His voice carries a confident timbre, usually accentuated with a tender undertone--perhaps the precursor of a macabre past. Between classes he vanishes from his peers to find a place to "sleep" or study intensively. After school he trains for three hours on his Zanjutsu and Hoho before spending an hour communing with his Zanpakuto.

A brief description of his life at the academy. Perhaps you guys can build an opinion off this of Saishu.
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by Red Mage
Raw
Avatar of Red Mage

Red Mage

Member Seen 6 yrs ago

Shikoku would have been mostly a liner out of habit. She would have been abnormally quiet even when she did speak. She eats by herself a lot in secluded places and stores off into nowhere from time to time as if trapped in thought. She isn't hard to engage but she doesn't start conversations by herself.
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by Renny
Raw
Avatar of Renny

Renny S E A S O N E D

Member Seen 10 mos ago

@Red Mage Okay, so say by chance Shikoku stumbles into Saishu during a free period or vice-versa. Both of them seeking solitude during said time. Perhaps noticing the distance Shikoku has created between herself and the class, Saishu offers her to join him. How would she react to this?
Hidden 7 yrs ago 7 yrs ago Post by jynmi88
Raw
GM
Avatar of jynmi88

jynmi88 The adventurer

Member Seen 3 yrs ago

Okay. Here's my CS. Sorry for taking so long to get it up. I kept going back and forth between this shikai and the one that was more in line with the eventual bankai.
I've got an early morning tomorrow, but for sure I'll have the starter up sometime after work, if I don't manage to get it before.


2x Like Like
↑ Top
1 Guest viewing this page
© 2007-2024
BBCode Cheatsheet