Nightrunner said
You make it sound so melodramatic. No. Neither of those are accurate.I fell in love, emotionally had my heart broken, and my heart strings are under unhealthy stress that could actually rupture my heart. So, in a way, through caring too much and being too compassionate (y'know, loving) I've begun to kill myself. It literally is traumatizing, and I would literally rather be dead.I literally am a great actor and cast the illusion that I'm both mentally stable and lighthearted. In truth, I'm a lunatic who laughs at tragedy cuz if I don't, the people around me will. To be honest, I enjoy RPing, but I am not in the same position in any way to continue the way I began the hobby.I died when the legitimate only person I've ever loved and trusted had forsaken me completely. I died when my father began to treat me like a dog since my early childhood. I died when I fully understood how messed up I am and lost the only things that made me feel alive.If I died by RP only I wouldn't have bother posting. I don't care if you understand why I act as I do. I posted that so that my internet-based 'friends' would have their curiosity satisfied. Put simply what makes me happy is a girl who completely betrayed me. Prior to that, it had legitimately been The Batman, though I sacrificed that so I could give her my attention. I've given my heart (literally & physically), soul, pleasures, solaces, and have been stripped of my dignity.It wasn't intentional, but I am dead inside. Despite my heartbreak, I'm left with the concern for her that love compells. This is no life. This blows.