“Holy crap…” Kate whispered as a stunned grin spread across her face.
“I can’t believe you actually pulled that off!”“Seriously?” Nykannis asked with a raised eyebrow.
“We’ve known each other for centuries, and you still doubt my super scientific supremacy?”“Oh, I didn’t doubt that you could do it,” Kate clarified.
“I just can’t believe you had the balls to risk her Mechanical Majesty finding out that you did do it.”“What? I gave Penny exactly what I promised. She’s now the proud owner of, and has complete control over, the most powerful warship in this reality plenum. She has absolutely nothing to complain about.”“Yeah,” Kate chuckled.
“But you have the original Earth Bastion!” the photographer added, gesturing to the enormous omninought hovering above them for emphasis.
“Er, Star Bastion,” she corrected herself.
“Technically, they’re both the original,” Nykannis clarified.
“Ship of Theseus and all that. As are these,” she added as several dozen identical vessels shimmered into being amidst arcs of yellowy green lightning.
“Although one of them will have to be upgraded even further to serve as the flagship for my new armada…” she mused thoughtfully, before said upgrade was applied to one lucky vessel in a swirling of ultratechnomystic energies, its already colossal form growing even more massive with each passing second.
“Yessss… That’s more like it! Nyahahahaha!” Nykannis declared with an approving grin.
“I think I’ll call it… the Argo…”“Pffft! That is so wrong…” Kate observed with an amused chuckle.
“Anyway, back to what you were saying, I was challenged to do it by a certain pink-haired pervert, and you know I never turn down a challenge.”“Yeah, I can’t really argue with that,” Kate conceded.
“Oh, but speaking of, you never told me how your ‘totally-not-a-date’ went.”“About as well as could be expected,” Nykannis replied with an annoyed sigh.
“Although I’m sure you want to hear all the cringey details…”“Damn straight!”“Fine… Let’s go somewhere a bit more comfortable, and I’ll tell you aaaall about it.”.
..
…
Oros examined her reflection in a mirror. She hadn’t gone on a proper date in a long time, but thought she did a good job dressing up. It was a white button down shirt with a brown dress. But Oros knew the difference between a “meh” and “great” look were the accessories. Thigh-highs that gave her legs just enough squish, a choker adorned with a tiny bow, and some flowered bracelets took her from a six to a nine. To get to a ten, she’d take some honey suckles and stick them in her hair. Others with inferior taste might disagree, but she knew she looked
absolutely irresistible. It would have been better if she could get something more formal, but most of Chii Aruel’s artwork was either fetishy or combat orientated. Most patrons were going to click the links and read the colored text. Gotta keep the core audience in mind.
After one last twirl in front of the mirror, Oros stepped out of the ruined bed room. The room had been sawed in half by a monster attack, and a swath of destruction laid just beyond that. Though it was hard to see much of it as the sun hadn’t shined here in about fifty years. The only thing that kept the world warm was the residual heat from the mother brain.
But now wasn’t the time to dwell on the past. Oros needed to focus on the rest of her preparation.
As per their agreement, Oros was going to choose when they arrived at the Garden de Lux. That meant Oros had a free invitation to show up whenever she wanted. So long as the intention was to start the “date” they had planned.
Just before Oros’s arrival, Nykannis had been sitting in her comfy command throne, watching a closeup of a weeping girl’s face on her interdimensional viewer’s panoramic display.
“Yesss… That’s it…” the Monarch of Mad Science cooed as she stroked the
bizarre creature sitting in her lap.
“Harness that sorrow, that rage… Forge yourself into the instrument of my…”Her voice trailed off as Oros made her grand entrance, the Mad Scientist Supreme swiftly closing the interdimensional viewer and whirling around to face her guest.
Oros’s entrance was a bit flashier than last time. The fabric in Nyakannis’s reality was torn asunder once again. A giant black lotus lily appeared in her domain. Once the lily had arrived, the black pedals peeled back to reveal a plushy red interior. Oros was also inside, already dressed up for the big meeting. She was playing a video game on a hand-held.
”I’m here!” Oros waved her hand without looking away from her game.
”Get dressed and we’ll be on our way.” “Where the hell’s Aria?” Nykannis asked as she rose from her seat.
“I thought she was coming along, too.” The eyes of her eldritch “pet” went wide at the sight of the pink-haired visitor, before it was thrown into a portal leading to a distant corner of The Lab, where
many similar creatures were gathered. As Nykannis walked over to where Oros was playing on her handheld, a swirling swarm of nanites transformed the robe she’d been wearing into the
green dress the pink-haired lunatic had “gifted” her with, although she still wore her lab coat over it.
“Or did she have her memories wiped again?” the mad scientist asked, while fixing Oros with a look of annoyance.
Oros turned to look at Nykannis
”Oh she uh-” The smile disappeared from her face as soon as she saw her. Now, Oros had seen her fair share of girls in and
out of cute dresses. It was a pretty old novelty at this point, and it wasn’t like she hadn’t seen the artwork for it prior to their meeting. But seeing her actually wearing it and not fussing about it, had her taken aback. Well, she looked a little grumpy, and she still wore her lab coat over it, but she was wearing it! Oros coughed into her hand while using the other to put the game in her hammerspace. There was little point in pausing a game or putting it in sleep mode when it was going to be locked in stasis.
”She uh, she was going to come, actually.” Oros folded her hands together.
”But I told her that you and her got to pal around a lot on that project without me. This was my way of catching up. I’d be a third wheel if Aria was around anyway, right?“ Yeah, that was kinda the idea…Oros lifted her fingers and counted them off.
”No touching, you decide the place, Aria, Binky, and I are sworn to secrecy. I pick your outfit, I choose when we cum and go, you be on your best behavior.“ Oros wiggled the six fingers on her hand.
”Those were the stipulations. I’m not going to be a hard ass about it though. If you want her to tag along, I can pick her up. You might, well, not want her around later. I don't think it's a good idea, but it’s gunna be your call.`` Nykannis gave voice to a lengthy sigh.
“Fine,” she conceded.
“If you think it’s for the best that Aria doesn’t join us, then I guess I’ll just have to trust your judgment.”Oros raised an eyebrow at Nykannis’s statement. In truth, she was expecting her to insist that she bring Aria along. She wouldn’t have even insisted on more stipulations, even if the temptation was there. But this way for the best. Oros wasn’t lying when she said she wasn’t going to want Aria around. As for why, well, you’ll just have to read ‘till the end of the P.O.S.T. to find out!
”You uh, you look nice. “ Oros folded her hands behind her head. All the same, Oros was curious if she was wearing the baby doll underwear under it. Probably not, but the uncertainty was titillating.
Not if it’s coming from you, is what Nykannis thought. What she said, however, was,
“Well, I sure hope so. I mean, you’re the one who picked it out, after all. Let’s get going,” she added, sounding more tired than anything else.
”Oh! Yea! Hah!“ She chuckled.
”Just uh, take a seat anywhere.“ It took some willpower to resist offering her lap, but she managed. Contrary to what many might think, Oros didn’t want her to feel uncomfortable.
Not yet anyway.
An instant later, the pair would find themselves standing at the entrance to the main dining hall of the
Garden de Lux. Located atop one of the tallest towers at the heart of Sliverburg, the restaurant boasted panoramic windows, as well as a large outdoor balcony, both of which provided a spectacular view of the city’s futuristic skyline. While many of the various tables were occupied, more than a few remained empty, as did a large swath of the floor near the center of the hall. From their place upon a raised dais at one corner of the room, a small ensemble filled the hall with soothing mood music. No sooner had Oros and Nykannis arrived, then the impeccably attired head waiter approached them.
“Ah, Doctor Kannis!” he greeted, while giving a small bow. “How good it is to have you dine with us again,” he added with a wide smile. “As always, your usual table has been reserved for you. Please, right this way.”
Leading them to a table next to the large window overlooking the outer balcony, he gave a curt nod to the waiter already stationed there, who provided them with a pair of menus. However, instead of accepting hers Nykannis merely held up her hand.
“I’ll be having my usual,” She informed him.
“Of course,” The head waiter confirmed with a deferential bow. “Please, pardon young Marcus. He has only recently joined us and is still learning the preferences of our most esteemed patrons.”
“I suppose I’ll let it slide this once,” Nykannis replied with a smirk as she turned her full attention on “Marcus”.
“After all, I’m sure you get a lot of high profile people in here,” she added, before fixing the young waiter with a glare that could burn through a planet.
“But you’d do well to remember who I am, and, more importantly, what I like to eat.” “O-Of course, Doctor Kannis,” Marcus stammered, while bowing in humble apology. “I shall endeavor to never disappoint you again.”
“You do that,” She told him dismissively, before removing her lab coat (don’t want to get food on it, after all) and taking her seat.
“So,” She added, once the waiters had departed.
“What do you think? Are there enough items on the menu to satisfy even your appetite?””Without looking, I know what I really wanna eat isn’t going to be on the menu.“ Oros smirked before picking up the menu.
”I mean I’m not Hilaria. For real though, It’s got a pretty cozy atmosphere. There aren’t any robots, so that’s a plus.“That’s what you think…It had been some time since she had eaten in a place this nice. The atmosphere reminded her a bit of the Nerine Vista back in Penrose. At least once per reset, she’d take whoever she was romancing there to eat. Though each time she did, it felt less special. All magical girls did in their free time was eat and talk about their feelings. More often than not, those places were as fantastical as the girls themselves. Everyone else was scheming or fighting. Though Oros was amused Nykannis would enjoy a place like this. One would have thought the “Queen of Mad Science” had more productive things to do with her time. Though getting to know someone better was the entire point of a date, so seeing this side of Nykannis was welcome.
”Holy shit! This is a huge menu! It has pages!“ With some amusement, she flipped through it. Truth be told, having a lot of menu items wasn’t always a good thing. That was usually the realm of casual dining and fast food. Making dishes with a degree of consistency was tough. True fine dining establishments kept their quality up by offering fewer menu items. Oros had eaten at places that offered only two main courses, but
wow were they good. She would need to try the food to be sure, but she’d need to retard her expectations to avoid being disappointed.
“Lots of options, huh?” Nykannis asked with a smirk.
“And they’re all made with premium ingredients, I can assure you. See, thanks to yours truly, this place is the only restaurant on the planet to boast its very own energy to matter food replicator. But it only provides ingredients, mind you,” she was quick to clarify.
“Not complete dishes. I wouldn’t dream of taking the culinary genius of Leonardo Angelo Giordano out of the equation.”Ah, good. That little bit of exposition came in time.
Before long, Oros raised her hand. A waiter that was standing against the wall approached. “Yes ma’am? Are you ready to order?”
”Oh yea! I’m feeling kind of saucy today so…“ She took a deep breath.
”I’ll have exactly what Doctor Kannis is having. Entrees and everything, double ‘em up. Also I uh, I can’t pronounce it but um. This one, the tart.“ She pointed at a picture.
“The frangipane tart? Ah yes. Frangipane is a pastry filling made with ground almonds. The dough is both sweet and tart, and we add different types of fruit depending on the day. Today’s tarts are made with apples, which were picked right in Silverberg.”
”Yea I knew that.““I apologize if you didn’t want an explanation for what a frangipane tart was.”
”It’s cool, I’m a lot sweeter than Nyan is.“Rather than respond, the waiter breathed and scribbled in his notepad. “I’ll get this to the chef post haste.” He took the menu when Oros offered it to him. Once he departed, Oros turned back to look at Nykannis.
”The verdict on this place is out until I have the food. “ Oros tapped the edge of the table with her fingers.
”So yeah! We’re having a meeting! Just between the only two people who know what’s going on in the multiverse.“ She leaned back in her seat.
”What did you wanna talk about? The progress of Rupee? Any of your mad schemes? The multiverse itself? How adorable Marcus is? Pick a topic and I’ll keep up.“ Nykannis’s earlier smirk only grew wider upon hearing that Oros would be having the same thing as her, and not even the pink-haired girl’s subtle slight could diminish it in any way. To say that the good doctor’s tastes in food were a bit peculiar was something of an understatement, and she was very interested to see what Oros would make of her impending meal. The Monarch of Mad Science’s maniacal grin persisted as Oros went on to mention several possible topics of discussion. After all, if the pink-haired pervert was going to spend the next few hours leering at
her, then she figured she should be able to enjoy herself, too.
“Hmm… Seeing as we have plenty of time, how about all of the above?” she asked.
“Well, except for that last one,” she added with a slight twitch of one eye.
“I gotta say, though, I wasn’t expecting you to have the guts to try my favorite dish without even knowing what it is. I’m actually a little impressed.””Heh! “ She shrugged her shoulders.
”What can I say? I can have pizza any day of the week. Might as well have what you’re having.“ Of course, Oros wasn’t stupid. As cute as she looked right now, this was a disguise for her. She was a monster, and her diet was likely a little strange. But Oros was trying to endear herself to the scientist, so eating the same food as her was a must. It wasn't like Oros was normal herself. If she listed what she was capable of ingesting, the average person would faint or call the cops.
As if on cue, a waiter (Not Marcus. He was probably busy being told off by the Maitre D’.) arrived with a gleaming chrome serving cart.
“Ah, the appetizers have arrived!” Nykannis declared, while rubbing her hands together.
The waiter proceeded to place upon the table two plates filled with five-cheese breadsticks, bountifully covered with several types of seasoning. A second waiter produced a pair of baskets filled with heaping piles of doughy sweet rolls, all lathered in butter, followed by a pair of complementary bowls of cheese and sour cream dip for each. Finally, a third waiter filled two elegant, vase-shaped glasses with a bubbling, slightly
glowing lime green liquid and placed them before each young woman. Of course, none of this was all
that strange, but then, it was only an appetizer…
Though really, how weird could any of this stuff really be? This was a fine dining restaurant at the end of the day. Even if this was fine dining, they probably didn’t serve radioactive material or the like. Even if the ingredient-making machine could spit out whatever they needed, a chef still had to make it. Oros wasn’t intimidated by anything present. The liquid was a little strange, but hardly the oddest thing she ever ingested.
No sooner had the trio departed, then Nykannis raised her glass to her lips and took a sip.
“Mmmm… Simply sublime…” she sighed blissfully.
“Truly, even the very nectar of the gods can’t compare… So,” she added, grabbing a breadstick and dipping it in both cheese and sour cream.
“Let’s talk about Rupee. As I predicted, work proceeds apace, and I should have her (Him…? It…?) finished by the originally specified time. If there’s any potential issue, it’s what’ll happen when you bring her back to Esper World.” She paused while she took a bite out of the breadstick, chewed for a bit, and then gulped it down.
“I mean, something as overwhelmingly, transcendently powerful as her tends to have a bit of a destabilizing effect on a reality plenum, y’know? Or is that the whole point? Did your crazy patron really just make that entire universe simply so you could destroy it yourself? ‘Cause that’s pretty fucked up, even for you.”Oros mirrored Nykannis’s eating habits, rather than demolishing her food like she normally would.
”I think this is the third time we’ve crossed paths, and I’m still not sure what I’ve done to piss you off.“You exist, Nykannis thought to herself.
“I just find you somewhat… grating,” the mad scientist replied with as much tact as she could manage.
“But something tells me you already knew that.””Maybe.“ Now that Oros had a chance to watch Nykannis interact with people outside of herself, she was starting to get the image of a self-important brat who thought the world revolved around them. Or at the very least, wanted it to. In other words, they had something in common.
”My patron and I have a thing going. In order for me to exist as I do, I need to be able to do what I want. Even if that means doing things they don’t want me to.“ She held the glass up to her nose and sniffed it. Afterward, she sloshed it around a bit.
”But anything that enters their reality plenum needs an explanation as for how I got it. Something about how patrons like seeing things happen without watching various reality plenums. So it’s less that anything I take over there is going to get hard cucked and that I can't explain why it's strong. So short of dragging you off to esper land, not a lot I can do about that. But, I’ve got another idea.“ Oros took a small sip. After letting the fluid rest on her tongue, she went for a much larger sip. Small bumps ran down her throat as she tipped the class higher. Once her glass was half full, she set it down.
”Anyway, as long as my patron can keep pretending this place isn’t “canon," I can do as much weird shit as I want. It’s a little more complicated than that, but as someone once said; who the FUCK cares about Oros, anyway? Billy is where it’s at. Maverick best not fuck up.“ Oros dipped a sweet bun in one of the provided cheeses.
”For someone who’s so happy to be in this reality plenum, you sure do spend a lot of time studying the other places. Do you enjoy watching people struggle? That might be something we have in common..““Only people who matter,” Nykannis replied with a smirk as she reached for a sweet roll.
”Am I one of them?““And let’s make one thing clear,” she continued, not even bothering to acknowledge Oros’s question, much less answer it.
“I’m not residing in this reality plenum because I like it so much, I’m here because I CAN’T GO ANYWHERE ELSE. Not while THEY still exist anyway…” she added, dipping the roll into both cups before shoving it into her mouth.
“And before you ask, THEY are a collection of unimaginably powerful beings who want nothing more than to see me stop existing. Mind you, I once had powers comparable to what you call eldritch horrors, so that should put into perspective just how freakishly strong these things are. Thankfully, Grand Magistrates are stronger, at least within their own reality plenums, so I just had to find one who was receptive to making a deal with me. Needless to say, I found one, and as long as I don’t fuck with Penrose, or Penny, I get to stay here, safe and sound, while I work on removing THEM from the picture. Then, I’ll be able to travel the omniverse freely, as I once did. Obviously, that will take some time, and since this place is so fucking boring, I needed to find things with which to occupy my attention, hence my work on The Artifact, and your little projects, of course.” She paused a moment to take a few gulps form her drink.
“Speaking of, now that I think about it, even if ‘Rupee’s’ reappearance does cause the collapse of your new home, that’ll still serve my purposes rather nicely. After all, I’m nothing if not adaptable.””Well, I wouldn’t count on it. My patron’s kind of an old hand at this sort of stuff. If it implodes, it implodes at their whims.“ She cleaned her ear.
”I can’t say it affects me too much either way. I can go where I please more or less. Boy am I glad I’m not rooted here like a tree. Holy shit that’s gotta suck.“ She rolled her neck until it cracked.
”I think we’ve talked enough about patrons and arbitrary power levels.“ The temptation was to talk about Penny, given that Nykannis brought her up, but there wasn’t much to say on the matter. She was far too mature to obsess over-
”And speaking of arbitrary power levels, I didn’t expect to hear her name tonight.“ Oros used her finger to slice open a sweet roll and poured cheese into the crevice.
”I got the feeling you were all buddy-buddy with her. You were empowering her with Christmas cheer and doing everything you could to secure her a win. Seems like you have been screwing around with her.“
“Not even close,” Nykannis replied with a sneer.
“I just thought it would be amusing to watch her kick your ass, and one-upping your pal Aria in the augmentation game was a nice bonus.””Only because none of the magistrates in this plenum know how to count. You’d think with all the college grads acting as magistrates they’d be a bit better with their number keeping.“ Oros said very as-a-matter-of-factly.
”Unfortunate that you’ll have to settle for imagining my ass getting kicked. It’s been a long time since any Penny has bested me in combat. I consider taking Penny and dropping her in world zero a win. I couldn’t do anything about the grand magistrate’s choice to allow her to escape a P.O.S.T. later. Cept- Oh wait, yea, Penny did kick my ass. Well, she jolt-countered me without jolt-countering. But I was in such bliss after kissing Magical Dream Princess that I couldn’t retaliate.“ Nykannis couldn’t help but snort when Oros brought up her kiss with MDP, although the mad scientist quickly composed herself.
“But seriously, Penny’s pretty cool. Anyone with that kind of power is worth looking into, something you clearly agree with. Otherwise, you wouldn’t have brought me her Esper World analog to make into your personal plaything.”It wasn’t evident on Oros’s face, but she was a little relieved that Nykannis had missed the mark with Oros’s true intentions. she wasn’t known for having a good brain to mouth filter, and she was talking to someone who could eavesdrop on her at any time.
”I brought her to you for upgrades. And you can call me a hentai as much as you want, but this is totally for Aria. I’ve gotten freaky with as many robots as I care to.“
“Yeah, well, forgive me if I have a hard time believing that,” Nykannis replied with a smirk.
“But anyway, since we’re on the subject of robots, word is your favorite mechanical monarch is currently in possession of a certain something that used to belong to a close friend of someone you used to think of as a maternal figure. How would you like to have it back?”The pink haired girl grinned and rolled her eyes.
”It has little value to me. It’s going to be hard enough to justify Rupee coming back. The original never had much use for the ship anyway.“ Oros rapped her fingers on the table.
”I’d be up for taking something from Penny though, but there’s three problems.“ Oros wiggled her fingers.
”Firstly, no way in hell is my patron coming back to Penrose. Secondly, You said you couldn’t do shit to Penny, and third, I’m fresh out of shit to trade you.““Oh, no, you misunderstand,” Nykannis informed her with a sly grin.
“I’d be doing this for fun, to watch how people react when you make your grand entrance while riding aboard an enormous transdimensional, interstellar warship. Like I said earlier, I get bored rather easily, so I’m always looking for things to occupy my attention, and there’s nothing quite like watching shitstorms unfold… You are right about one thing, though,” the Monarch of Mad Science conceded.
“There’s no way in hell I’d be able to steal it from Penny without earning the Grand Magistrate’s ire, so I was thinking I’d just replicate it instead! I mean, her metallic majesty personally requested that I give her little landship an upgrade, and since she was kind enough to invite me inside, the least I can do is use the opportunity to learn everything I can about it! Once I’ve done that, it shouldn’t take me too long to create an exact duplicate.” Oros rubbed her chin. Truth be told, her “death lotus” was big enough to transport her and Aria all over the multiverse. It had no practical use, and it would be absolute murder to justify it existing in “esper land.” With Penny getting to keep the ship at the end, there was almost no point in accepting Nykannis’s offer. But Oros was a total chadette when she wanted to be, and knew it would mean something to her if she went along with it. Oros pretended to consider things while eating her cheese-loaded sweet roll.
”Well okay.“ She said with a smile.
”Only because you’re cute and we both need the amusement. Though if you were gonna do a real gamer move, you’d swap the original with the duplicate.“Nykannis paused for a moment to consider Oros’s suggestion.
“Hmmm… That might actually be possible,” the mad scientist conceded, tapping a finger against her chin thoughtfully.
“And I’m certainly up for the challenge,” she added with a twisted grin.
“I’ll need to transpose the original with the replica at close to, if not exceeding, the speed of light, but if I work things just right, the only way she’ll notice is if I flat out tell her what I’m doing, and while I do like to brag, I’m not an idiot. This’ll just be our little secret.”Oros closed two fingers together and drew them across her lips.
”That was one of your stipulations, wasn’t it?“ “It was indeed,” Nykannis confirmed with a nod.
“I’m pleased to see you remembered.”A moment later, the mad scientist’s attention was drawn to the returning trio of waiters, and, in particular, the two large, domed, platters upon the cart Marcus was pushing.
“At last!” she exclaimed, eyes gleaming as the metallic domes were removed to reveal the main course for the evening- The Garden de Lux’s unique iteration of Macaroni Pie. Now, while it might have resembled nothing more than a particularly (if not outrageously) extravagant pizza, at least to the casual observer, a closer inspection would reveal that this was a culinary creation all its own…
Atop a deep, doughy foundation was piled several layers of noodles, in the style of lasagna, along with plentiful amounts of sauce and cheese.
Especially cheese… There were at least seven different kinds by what could be seen alone, and possibly more tucked away inside hidden pockets between layers of noodles. Atop this, was the macaroni itself, lathered in even
more cheese, and mixed in with long strips of bacon, buttery chunks of potato, and no small amount of seasoning.
”Wah?“ Was Oros’s reaction to the strange concoction.
“Dinner is served,” the head waiter announced.
Inhaling deeply as her platter was placed before her, Nykannis sighed in utter bliss.
“Aaahh~ Now this is what I’m talkin’ about!” Grabbing a knife and fork, she didn’t even wait for her glass to be refilled before scooping out a large piece of the artery-clogging concoction and stuffing it into her mouth.
“Mmmm~ Delicious as always!” she declared with a supremely satisfied smile.
“My compliments to the chef!”“Of course, Doctor Kannis,” the head waiter confirmed with a bow. “I am sure he will be most pleased to receive them. If you have need of anything further, please do not hesitate to call upon us.”
“Don’t worry,” Nykannis replied amiably, while chowing down on another mouthful of her precious pie.
“I won’t.””Oh, actually, Marcus?“ When the waiter (cautiously) approached Oros, she took a folded up piece of paper and slipped it into his pants pocket.
”Give it a peek after your shift ends, alright?“ she patted him on the shoulder.
”That’s all sweetie, off ya go.““So, whatdaya think?!” she asked Oros once the waiters had departed.
“Best thing you’ve ever tasted, right?!” ”Uh.“ Oros looked down at her plate. She knew something was off when the entree came with two different cheese dips, but anyone would start to feel constipated just looking at the main course. Not that a lack of fiber was a problem for Oros. Pizza was one of her favorite foods. But Nykannis sure loved cheese. She might have been a magical mouse or something. More like a rat, if her unkempt hair was anything to go by.
”I mean, it smells good.“ It did smell good. Oros had a mighty impressive nose and she could pick out every spice and herb wrapped up in all that cheese. She was pretty sure there was some olive oil in there too. She didn’t mind greasy food, but this was not at all what she expected.
”Guess I’ll have a bite.“Oros curled her lips into her mouth. She used her fork to cut through what appeared to be a lasagna pizza. Layers of noodles spilled onto her plate, each slathered in one type of cheese or another. Before long, there was a pool of oil on her plate just under the noodles. Without any hesitation, she drove her fork through several layers of noodles and shoved the mess into her mouth. A string of warm cheese ran from the corner of her lips that bridged to the rest of her mea.. But she focused on cheering her food. She turned the noodles over on her tongue. A symphony of cheeses fell across it, mixed with tiny slivers of bacon. Her eyes dilated. Her mind stopped.
Euphoria.
”It’s pretty good.“ She used her fork to break the cheese strand and set her fork on her plate. The corners of her lips were pulled into a gentle smile.
”So in terms of your plans, did you have anything else going on that you care to talk about? Or is building a boat and Rupee the only thing you’re declassifying?“ Oros was well aware that people like Nykannis probably liked to keep some secrets, so it was understandable if she didn’t want to announce something where some patron would overhear it.
“Well, you already know about how I’ve completely unlocked The Artifact,” Nykannis replied as she took another bite.
“And how I’ve used it to create the first production run of Phase Two. As for who’s gonna be the lucky individual to participate in their first field test, just take a wild guess. Besides that, there’s an artifact, small ‘a’, that I’ve recently learned of, which I’d like to take a closer look at, and then there’s a certain secret project that you probably already know about. Of course, those are all just ways of killing time until my REAL plan is complete.” She added with a maniacal grin after slurping up a long string of mozzarella cheese.
“But before we can get to that, I need to lay the groundwork first. These things must be done in the proper stages, after all,” She continued, while taking hold of the gravy boat the waiters had brought along with the Macaroni Pie and pouring half its contents over what remained of her meal.
“Yesss, the path to perfection takes many steps,” she added with a nod of satisfaction as she placed the gravy boat back onto its small dish and began licking her lips.
“And even perfection is capable of being improved upon,” she concluded as she devoured another large, gravy-drenched piece of her pie.
“Sooo, let’s talk a bit about the multiverse, or rather, the omniverse…”Oros kept her hands folded together and did her best to look attentive. Nykannis just took a very long time to not say anything at all, which was probably the point. Though as the scientist droned on, Oros was having a harder and harder time preventing herself from losing interest. Fortunately she could give herself a time out by just looking at Nykannis’s outfit and trying to work out if she was wearing the underwear or not. That was the sort of mystery that could keep Oros invested! Oros had become painfully aware that Nykannis was entering full-on “lecture mode”, and although the pink-haired girl was free to make her usual color commentary, nothing was going to stop the Mad Scientist Supreme from completing her little “dissertation.” This made adding in such commentary pointless, especially if all it would really do is tick her off when Oros corrected her every time she got something wrong. No offense to Nykannis, but few people got to see the big picture the way Oros did, and just because her view of “the ‘verse” wasn’t compatible with most people’s sensibilities didn’t make her any less right.
By this point, the Monarch of Mad Science’s grin practically stretched from ear to ear, as not only was she getting to have her favorite meal, but she was now getting the chance to talk about one of her favorite subjects.
“First off,” she began, raising a finger for emphasis.
“The multiverse is infinite. Any possible combination of variables exists somewhere ‘out there’. Even more than that, some people go so far as to claim that every possible fictional universe, including ones they dream up themselves, are real places that actually exist, with their stories unfolding even now, as we’re sitting here having this chat. They think that ‘if only I could get there, I could meet my special snowflake original character (do not steal), and then I could finally find someone who loves me for who I am, and I could have their babies, and everything would be perfect.’ And as sad as that is, they’re right. Now, some self-important idiots don’t agree with that idea. They like to presume that while there may be an infinite number of universes in the multiverse, you won’t be able to find every possible universe you can dream up. They like to say that you can have an infinite number of apples, but still have no oranges. This example is actually fucking hilarious, since it gets SO close to the true nature of things, but falls just short. Let’s explore that example for a bit, and I’ll show you what I mean.”Oros was not going to say anything while Nykannis droned on. Of course, Oros loved to chime in when people talked for long periods of time. Listening to people was hard. It was once said that humans have two ears and one mouth because they’re supposed to listen twice as much as they speak. But Oros felt that she needed a lot more ears for that to make sense, and it just wasn’t worth the mana expenditure. If only Nykannis was talking about something interesting, but Oros couldn’t bring herself to enjoy hearing someone drone on about how they
thought the world worked. It was comparable to someone with different political views than you going on about how wrong they thought you were. But maybe Oros was judging too harshly. Perhaps Nykannis had a point with this theory of hers.
“Let’s say those infinite apples are on a tree,” Nykannis continued, creating a holographic image of said tree with a wave of her fork.
“An apple tree, but right next to it there’s another tree filled with oranges. And next to that is a pear tree, then a plum tree, then a banana tree,” she continued, a holographic representation of each new tree appearing as soon as she named it.
“Then you get into the fun stuff, the pizza and spaghetti trees, and even crazier ones than that, enough trees to fill a forest that goes on forever. Each of those trees is a multiverse with an infinite number of universes growing on them. If you know your trees,” she went on, the holoprojector she’d built into the table continuing to provide visual aids.
“You’ll know that most of them have a trunk, with several branches splitting off, with several dozen more branching off from them. A multiverse is the same way, only with an infinite number of branches. In fact, this is the reason why parallel worlds are often called ‘branch universes’. As even you may be able to guess, the trunk is the most important part, as it holds all the core information for every universe connected to it, the indelible commonalities pertaining to every aspect of each one. To borrow an expression Objectivists like to spew, ‘a’ is ‘a’. It may be upper or lower case, serif or sans serif, in one of ten trillion fonts, in any color of the rainbow, (or maybe it uses a gradient fill, or no fill at all, just a stroke), but it’s still ‘a’. So, for example, different iterations of a certain individual might have different biological genders, different hair colors, heights, ages, ethnicities, painfully pretentious last names, etc., but they’ll all still be vampires. That’s their indelible commonality. Looking at universal clusters themselves (also known as multiversal clusters, yes I know it’s somewhat confusing and contradictory, deal with it), we’ll see that one branch, and its myriad offshoots, all contain a city on the North American east coast called Penrose. You should be fairly familiar with them, since you’ve visited quite a few. As you can probably attest, although there were some plot differences, the basic setting was the same, as were most of the characters. However, if we direct our attention to this separate branch over here and its collection of offshoots, we’ll find that there’s still a certain shithole city on the east coast of North America, but now it’s called Pax Septimus, or whatever. But although the plot, setting, and characters have all been drastically altered, there are still certain indelible links to the core tenants of the trunk. We’re still dealing with apples. We’re still dealing with ’a’.”Oros hadn’t been smiling for a while. She was starting to leave boredom and enter innue. She wanted to call Nykannis things, insult her intelligence, just to get her to change the topic. If this was anyone else, she would have her sword drawn already. No, that wasn’t quite right. If this was anyone else, she would have ignored them or zoned out while looking at their cute outfit.
After pausing for a moment to have another cheesy, buttery, gravy-soaked piece of pie, Nykannis continued.
“Hell, I’ll bet your new home even has a version of Silverburg, though it’s probably got some pretentious latin name to keep with the established theme.”It doesn’t, trust me. “But anyway, the point I’m making is, every universe on the ‘tree’ is connected in some way, however tangential, and because of that, I can make use of them for my own purposes…” Oros sighed. Nykannis was smarter than most, but at the end of the day, she didn’t have the same grasp on reality that Oros did. Or maybe she was one of those patron champions that a patron makes to live out their fantasies. It didn’t really matter to Oros. She understood that just because they were both “mad” didn’t mean they were mad in the same way. Though all the same, listening to long shpeels like this was very tiresome, especially when Oros knew it was wrong. It took all of her strength not to say anything, which was already starting to wane.
Nykannis paused again to have a sip from her drink.
“Tell me, have you ever heard of the Kardashev Scale?””Mmm?” It took Oros a minute to shift gears from listening to engaging with Nykannis. Most of this stuff was totally bullshit to her, but she had decided to watch some videos here and there so that she could participate in discussions that Nykannis might find interesting.
”Uh, that’s where they measure a civilization based on the amount of power they harness, or some shit like that?” Oros looked at the gravy boat and dragged it to herself.
“Wow, that wasn’t half bad,” Nykannis conceded, her surprise clear in her voice.
“I’m actually kinda impressed. Yes, at its most basic, it deals with the amount of energy a civilization is capable of employing, should they need it, although that’s a somewhat modified version, as the original had a lot of loopholes in it, but that’s neither here nor there. The important thing to note is that there are astronomical leaps between stages, and currently, the civilizations of this world are only type zero at best, and are probably closer to type negative one. After all, getting to type one would require the complete harnessing of every form of energy available on this entire planet. Type two would mean harnessing all the energy of an entire star system, typically by encasing it in a Dyson sphere, or other megastructure. Type three can draw power from every aspect of an entire galaxy, while type four can harness all the energy of a universe. Most people like to end the scale here, but it actually goes way beyond that. Type five, the stage I am currently limited to, can harness all the energy of an entire multiverse. And not just the normally thought of types, mind you. Just looking at this planet, you have the aptly named fossil fuels, wind power, solar power, hydroelectric power, geothermal power, and nuclear power, but you also have all the untapped sources- erupting volcanoes, earthquakes, hurricanes, tsunamis, all of these could be harnessed to provide incredible amounts of energy, and we can take things even further… I’m sure you’re aware of the more esoteric sources of power, like cold fusion, antimatter, zero-point energy, captive singularities, and so forth, but what if I told you that it was possible to draw power from intangibles, like hope, joy, friendship, and love? That stupid brat Justine wanted to 'destroy love’ a while back, right? Well, instead of destroying it, why not harness it? Bend it to your will? And not just love!” she added, her eyes beginning to bulge and twitch with maniacal intensity.
“There’s hate, annoyance, indignation, despair, and apathy! Competition energy! Potential energy! More different kinds of power than you can possibly imagine, and I can harness every last one of them! And not just in this universe alone! No! While it’s certainly the most active, the most rich in these resources, it links to tens of thousands of parallel worldlines, and worlds even farther afield… Your new home, for instance. Yes, there’s a reason I’m interested in your lord and master’s pet project, a reason beyond simple boredom or a need for revenge. Your new world is almost as rich in energy forms as this one is, and, multiversally speaking, it’s right down the street! I spoke of Dyson spheres earlier, well, imagine, if you can, a construct that can encapsulate an entire multiverse! One that can syphon every last particle of energy from an infinity of realities into a battery, a power accumulator, for the ultimate omnidimensional weapon! A weapon TO DESTROY THEM ALL!!! NYAHAHAHAAA!!!”At this point, nearly everyone else in the vast dining hall had turned their attention to the source of the insane cackling, but upon seeing that it was only the well-known, and famously unhinged Doctor Kannis, they quickly returned to their meals.
“And THAT is how I shall finally be free of THEM, finally free to travel the omniverse to my heart’s content, to return to my full, nigh-omnipotent glory! Nyahahaha! So?! What do you think of THAT, Miss Magical Monster Girl Esper Whatever-The-Fuck-You-Currently-Are Discount Deadpool?! Even if I’m only a mere fictional character in your fucked up, batshit brain, you’ve gotta admit, that’s still a pretty fucking amazing plan!”The gravy boat sat empty at Oros’s side of the table. Her plate had been cleaned short of running her tongue over it. There were a few crumbs from her macaroni-pizza, as well as a puddle of gravy that it use to sit in. Beside that was a pool of chili sauce. an empty tabasco bottle, mustard, traces of both peanut butter and jelly, and some crushed dorito chips that might have been used to garnish the abomination. It seemed like Nykannis was just going for the weirdest, fattiest meal she could make, so why not add a few items she had from her own hammer space? Oh! And Oros added some frosted mini-wheats just to ensure her fiber levels didn’t get too out of whack. She had just finished licking her finger when she turned back towards Nykannis.
”Sounds cool.” Oros folded her hands together in front of her chin.
”Though I never said you were a fictional character in my brain.” Oros didn’t find the Kardashev Scale especially useful for determining a civilization or person’s level of power. Nykannis was a type five and she was trapped in this hell hole of a reality plenum. Oros’s patron pretty much ran on tuna sandwiches and could conjure whole multiverses. Though her plan was at least interesting.
Regardless of how you split the science mumbo jumbo, Oros was enjoying herself. If she was going to rate her interactions with Nykannis tonight, she’d give her an eight out of ten. She wasn’t the sort of thing Oros sought out, save for maybe having a disguised form that was about as petite as petite could be. Normally bratty, all-knowing types got on Oros’s nerves, and her view of the omniverse was a bit grading. But that was only because they were so close to being on the same page.
Endless eclipse appeared in Oros’s hand, and she pushed the hilt just enough to reveal part of the blade. Oros was no mind reader, but it was possible for her to look at portional optical serial transcripts with her sword. Even ones that had yet to become proper transcripts. She raised a brow when she noticed how much more of her inner monologue was being written this time around. It was unsettling, but it was mostly just her surface thoughts, so nothing to worry about. Though perhaps even more troublesome was that swaths of their conversation had been changed in a process patrons called Enhance Directly Inside Transcript, or just E.D.I.T. for short. She was going to have to be careful from here on out.
Well, enough of that. It was time to
really get things started.
”This was fun, Nyan.” Oros placed her hands on the table.
”There’s something that warms my heart about seeing your small shape bend and twist as you talk about revenging and scheming, and I think I would feel the same way even if you were still wearing your lab coat.” She leaned forward.
”I think that I’d like to end the evening talking about something that I’m passionate about.” She folded her hands in front of her chin again, but was still leaning forward.
”Nyan, you desire freedom from this hell hole, correct? You’re building a weapon so that you can be free. But what are you going to do once you have that freedom? You don’t just want freedom for freedom’s sake, right?” She squinted her eyes.
”Some sort of dream, perhaps?”“I suppose you could say that,” Nykannis conceded, before taking a bite out of the final piece of her pie.
“To have freedom is my dream, freedom to become truly omnipotent, to learn everything there is to know about every universe, every reality plenum, across the endless infinities of the omniverse! Even after having lived for several hundred millennia, even after having traveled to more places than you could possibly imagine, there’s still so much I’ve yet to see, so many worlds to explore, so many experiments to conduct, and so many inventions to build with the knowledge gained by them! So, yes,” she added, while dipping one of the few remaining sweet rolls in her almost empty gravy boat.
“If we’re being simplistic, freedom is my goal. Is there something wrong with that?” ”Freedom is pointless if you don’t use it. But you want to see the rest of the ‘verse, which is, relatable?” Seriously, who’d have thought some super-duper old person with Nykannis’s intellect just wanted to see more stuff. Though after thinking about it, traveling was the only thing old people seemed to want to do.
”I also need freedom to do what I want. I’ve had this thing I’ve wanted to do for a very long time, but there’s never been an opportunity.” Oros shook her finger.
”I mean, oddly, magical girl land has a lot of nice things going on with it. I call Penrose a shithole, and I stand by that. There are freedoms here that I do not get to enjoy in esper land. But the one thing I was never able to do, not across a single reality down this ‘branch’ of the multiverse, was be a hero.”Oros avoided making eye contact with Nykannis, like she had just admitted some great shame.
”You can’t really be a hero in Penrose. Your choice is to be a survivor or a villain. Saving the world from Justine, horrors, monster attacks, that’s not good. That’s not heroic! That’s just protecting your home. Protecting your way of life may be brave, but it’s not heroic. For heroism, you need to stand up to something outside your circle of influence. But I haven’t been able to be heroic, ever. And even when I tried. Even when I attempted to overthrow our evil mechanical overlord-” ”Your frangipane, madam.”
Oros opened her eyes, and placed before her was that dessert that she vaguely remembered ordering. The waiter had since departed.
”Um.” She looked up.
”That was uh, awkward, killed the mood.” She picked up a clean fork and split the tart, causing it’s filling to be exposed. It was so thick that it didn’t run out of the tart.
”One second, I’ll have this taken care of.”“A hero, huh?” Nykannis asked, clearly more than a little surprised.
“I suppose that’s an admirable goal, if a bit unattainable for someone working for a horror,” she added, as she began to slice apart her own dessert, something that looked like a deep dish pizza, topped with a decadent, multi-layered chocolate cake, covered in hot chocolate fudge and chocolate icing.
“Though if you ask me, being a hero is overrated. After all, one person’s hero is inevitably someone else’s villain, so why even bother?””Hey!” Oros pointed her fork at Nykannis.
”I was goin’ somewhere with it! Just let me finish!”A moment later, a flash of light and a clap of thunder drew their attention to the center of the hall, where a cloud of smoke was swiftly dissipating to reveal several strange figures.
“Speaking of heroes and villains, it looks like the ‘floor show’ I mentioned earlier is about to start,” Nykannis observed.
“Don’t bother getting up, this won’t last long.”“But what if I wanna?” Was what Oros wanted to say. Beating up things was one of the few things she found as enjoyable as eating or romancing people. But if Nykannis wanted her to remain seated, she would comply.
“Pie-hoy, mateys!” the
leader of the bizarre beings called out in a cartoonish voice.
“The Pie-rate and his crusty crew have popped in to pillage your precious peace and happiness by giving you a pie in the puss!” What, the, hell? Oros did some weird things in the past, but they weren’t this cringy. At least, she didn’t think so.
The formerly tranquil melody being played by the restaurant’s musicians now shifted into a far more menacing and suspenseful arrangement, as a whimsical-looking cannon was aimed at the nearest table.
“Pie-yarrr!” the Pie-rate roared, and at the sound of this battle cry, the cannon fired off a volley of five pies. However, before even a single startled visage could be marred, the peculiar projectiles abruptly froze in mid air.
“Not if we have anything to say about it!” an energetic voice declared, heralding the arrival of a colorful team of young women.
“Mirror, mirror on the wall,” intoned a
blue-clad maiden as unused glasses and the massive window pane separating the dining hall from the balcony broke apart and reformed into ten ornate mirrors.
“Heed my bidding, and make them fall!” An instant later, the launched pies were once again set into motion, flying through five of the mirror portals and out the corresponding mirror to smash into the faces of five of the Pie-rate’s motley minions with a loud “Splat!”.
“We’re the Silverburg Seven,” the
lead girl announced with a grin as the musicians began a heroic-sounding piece and the lights dimmed, allowing a glowing, five pointed star to shine a radiant beam upon the group.
“And in the name of love and justice, we’re gonna kick your butts!”“Silverburg’s flagship, and only, magical girl team,” Nykannis explained, perhaps unnecessarily.
“Complete with sappy speeches, color-coded outfits, and everything.” ”What about the army girls that magical dream princess nuked last season?” But Oros’s question went unanswered as the display continued.
“Shiver me toppings! You’ll not take the Pie-rate without a fight! Avast, me hearties! Have at them!” At this, the crusty captain and his equally crusty crew sprang into action, filling flintlocks and crusty cutlasses raised.
For all the good it did them…
Before the cream-filled corsairs even realized what was happening, roughly half their number had fallen through a shadow in the floor, which was pulled up like a sack by the
equally shadowy figure that was simultaneously rising up in dramatic fashion.
“Batter up, Penny!” she called with a smirk as she flung the shadowy sack to a
girl in a green maid’s outfit who was wielding an enormous rocket hammer.
“Thanks, Astrelle!” Penny replied with a fierce grin, before swinging her hammer with all her considerable might. Sheathed in crackling arcs of lightning and spewing forth torrents of blue flame as its rocket jets engaged, the titanic weapon dissolved the sack and blasted its contents out of the hall and into the sky, the sound of a sonic boom rattling glasses and silverware as they broke the sound barrier.
“Have a nice trip!” Penny called after them.
“Wow, that’s gotta be a new record,” Nykannis noted as she adjusted her goggles and squinted into the distance.
“They’re already halfway to Alpha Centauri. Y’know, that’s another multiversal commonality I’ve noticed,” she added.
“Why is anyone named Penny always the strongest member of their respective peer group?””A lack of creativity on the creator’s part, perhaps?” Oros was only half paying attention, as her eyes were transfixed on the events as they unfolded.
Meanwhile, a
crimson-haired swashbuckler was successfully holding off three of the Pie-ratical pillagers without even breaking a sweat. As the band provided suitable musical accompaniment to the very one-sided battle, the “audience” gave voice to amazed gasps and excited cheers.
“Getting tired already, boys?” the redhead asked with a melodious laugh.
“We haven’t even made it through a single song yet!”“Precisely how long do you intend to toy with them, Nicole?” an
aristocratic girl inquired as she froze four of the baked buccaneers in pillars of ice with a wave of her snowflake-tipped staff, before swiftly dispatching them with an elegant flourish of her rapier.
“Aww, come on, Vanna,” Nicole teased with a playful wink.
“Can’t a girl have some fun?” she added amiably, before blowing a kiss to her “dance partners”. This seemingly innocuous action conjured a mighty whirlwind, which scooped up the stunned trio and hurled them through the air.
“Okay, Dana!” Nicole called to her grinning, gold-clad teammate.
“Time to do your thing, babe!”Twirling her gleaming, chrome energy pistol around her finger like an old west gunslinger, Dana took careful aim and snapped off three bolts of condensed light at each of the frazzled freebooters, causing them to explode in showers of colorful confetti.
“Nice work, Dana,” Penny commended with a nod.
“Now all that’s left is Captain Crunch himself.” Undaunted by the loss of his crew, the Pie-rate pressed his attack.
“Pie-yarrr! It be time fer a broadside!” the baked buccaneer declared, as he readied his comical cannon.
“Don’t worry, guys!” Dana told her team.
“I got this!”A moment later, the cannon blasted out a stream of pies, one after another, but Dana merely stood her ground. Grasping her pistol in both hands as particles of gleaming energy gathered around its barrel, the golden gunslinger grinned broadly… and fired.
A blinding beam of incandescent annihilation shot forth to vaporize each pie in rapid succession, before ultimately striking the cannon itself, causing the whimsical weapon to explode in a shower of cream and crust.
Shaking his hooked hand at the gathered magical girls, the now thoroughly pied Pie-rate vowed,
“Ye haven’t seen the last ‘o me, mateys! The Pie-rate shall have his revenge!” With that, the creamed corsair vanished as abruptly as he had appeared.
“And we’ll be waiting!” Dana shot back.
At this, the crowd rose to their feet and gave their heroes a thunderous applause, which they accepted with appreciative bows.
“Thanks everyone!” Dana told them with a cheery wave as her azure-clad teammate returned all the glass she’d employed to its proper places.
“That concludes our show for tonight! I hope you all enjoyed it!”While the rest of the team went about the various tables to take pictures and sign autographs, Astrelle leaned against a column and sighed.
“Well that was easy…” she noted dryly.
“I didn’t even get to use my scythe,” she added with a disappointed frown as she conjured her sinister-looking weapon.
“Tell me about it!” a
lavender-clad girl commiserated.
“I only got to freeze those pies at the start! And I had a whole routine worked out, too! I was gonna make a bunch of duplicates of Dana, and then I was gonna use Cordelia’s mirrors to… Well, I guess it’ll have to wait until next time…”“Hey, don’t worry, Lucy!” Dana called out as she ran over to her two brooding teammates.
“During our next battle, we’ll make sure you and Astrelle really get to show off all your tricks! Promise!”With the pair seemingly mollified, the smiling sharpshooter returned to mingling with her adoring fans.
“See?” Nykannis asked.
“Over in less than two minutes, nothing got damaged, and no one got hurt. That’s what all monster attacks are like here, just simple entertainment for the ignorant masses,” she added with a chuckle.
“When you think about it, this place is basically the anti-Penrose. The Metropolis to its Gotham, or the Argentum Civitatem to your Pax Septimus, if you prefer. And yes, I just made that up,” she confirmed, while spearing her fork into the final slice of her dessert.
“Creation is an act of sheer will, or so a wise man once said, and I have plenty of that to spare.” ”I’m not sure I agree.” As Oros had ordered one of everything Nykannis was having, she too had an over-the-top dessert to eat. Though she wasn’t sure if she was ready to eat something like that quite yet.
”I mean yea, Penrose is darker than this place, but let’s be frank, nothing super bad ever happens. People die, but never the important ones. There are setbacks, but they are easy to overcome. So long as you aren’t going against someone with plot armor, you’re going to turn out alright. Penrose wants to be a dark edgy shithole, but it ends up just being a shithole. And don’t compare Pax to Pen, ever. They’re entirely different… Magic circles.” Oros tipped her head back and smiled.
”Speaking of magical circles, I didn’t want to interrupt you earlier, but you believe everything gets to exist? That time you thought about murdering your friend but never carried it out? That random shower thought you had is a reality for someone? Every jerk-off fantasy a teenager experiences is a reality too, probably? And you think people who think otherwise are the self important ones?” Oros didn’t fault people for wanting to think this way, of course. Weaklings and children pretend to be people they aren't, or have some fantasy to live out. They just don’t think of the ramifications if such places existed.
”I mean okay, maybe some of them do, but a patron had to put effort into a world to get things to that point. As an example, we had to appear in a joint Patron Observation Situation Transcript for our meeting to happen.”It really shouldn’t have surprised Oros that Nykannis viewed things this way. If she were trapped in a reality plenum, she’d probably want to think her thoughts somehow manifested entire civilisations.
”I know you’re supposed to be a genius, but come on. You’re boiling things down to something as simple as trees and what grows on them. You’re even making use of something as crazy as infinity. I mean Infinity works as a concept. I can use a knife and a piece of wood to carve shit. I can carve infinite things. But I can’t own infinite pieces of wood. Maybe it would be better if you thought of the world as a computer monitor.” She rubbed her chin while working out the math. But that was too much like work, so she summoned some notes, because Oros was vain enough to prepare for this discussion in particular.
”Each pixel can be filled with red, green, and blue light. They can mix two-hundred-and-fifty-six levels of each color, much like a normal computer monitor can. Technically the lowest level is no color, but I digress. A single pixel can show sixteen-million-seven-hundred-and-seventy-seven-thousand-two-hundred-and-sixteen different colors. Now that sounds like a lot, but we know it’s nothing special. That’s just one pixel on your thousand-by-thousand pixel screen. Such a screen could display just about anything you could see. People kissing, a horrific monster, the aforementioned jerk-off fantasies from earlier. Anything you can see or think about seeing could be displayed on a computer screen. But do you think that’s anywhere close to infinite? ‘Cus it’s not! You’re left with sixteen-Trillion-seven-hundred-and-seventy-seven-Billion-two-hundred-and-sixteen-million possible screens. Wanna increase the resolution by a thousand times? I think that’s cheating, but it’s still only sixteen-Quintillion-seven-hundred-and-seventy-seven-Trillion-two-hundred-and-sixteen-Billion combinations. But pixels are colored this way based on the limitations of the human eye. We have three types of color receptors. Butterflies have five,so your pixels would need to mix five colors to appease their eyes. A single pixel alone now has one-trillion-ninety-nine-billion-five-hundred-and-eleven-million-six-hundred-and-twenty-seven-thousand-and-seven-hundred-and-seventy-six colors. But a mantis shrimp has been said to have as many as twenty-nine rods. So to make full use of a mantis shrimp's crazy fuckin’ eyes, your pixels would need to mix twenty-nine different colors to use their entire vision. A single pixel would incorporate more possibilities than even our three dimensional screen. Even if we made it for a butterfly. But those colors don’t exist for humans. They exist beyond reality. All things, in reality or not, are finite.`` Oros folded her arms.
” At this time, there are roughly eight-billion potential patrons moving about rather than an infinitely vast forest with infinite shit growing on each one. Patrons can be inspired by each other, copy each other, steal from each other, but the number of true, tangible realities is limited to what they choose to make. The fact of the matter is that two patrons are communicating with each other on some sort of Reality Plenum Grid thing, and that’s the only reason two singularities like ourselves can have this discussion in Silverberg. You could say Pax and Pen are close, but then why not toss Madoka Magica into that too? It’s just a bunch of magical girls fighting witches in a shit hole.”Nykannis simply stared at Oros with a blank expression, as the pink-haired girl gave her little commentary on the mad scientist’s earlier “presentation”. It was only when she finished that the Monarch of Mad Science would concede a small smirk.
“That was quite the ramble, Thanos, but just like Big Purple Nutsack Chin, you’re totally batshit. But then, maybe I’m just being too harsh? You probably only think that way because your mind is simply far too small to fully grasp the true, transcendent majesty of the omniverse, in all its multifaceted micro and macro cosmic glory. Naturally, this lack of full understanding limits you to only consider the minds of those living on this one, small planet as capable of creating universes, but you completely failed to consider minds on other planets, or other galaxies, or other universes. And that’s not even getting into the fact that universes aren’t even created by sentient minds. They’re created by possibilities… Or maybe that’s not what’s bothering you? Maybe you think that if what I’m saying is true, it would mean your precious lord and master doesn’t actually exist, ‘cause such a being couldn’t possibly coexist with an infinity of infinities, right? Well, lucky for you, there’s no need to have an existential crisis. There are, of course, an infinite number of spaces beyond realities as well, unrealities, if you will (although they’re also known by many other names, like pocket dimensions, temporal null levels, transplannar realms, in between, the void, the space beyond space, the time beyond time, the twisting nether, the warp, the elemental chaos, and a billion and twelve other things besides), just like there are spaces between trees in a forest.”Oros shrugged
”Right, should have seen this coming. We’re in different magic circles. Guess we might as well talk about what that means.” She slapped the table and stood up.
”So in game theory, you have these things called magic circles. Say you spot a chess board. To anyone unfamiliar with chess, it’s just a bunch of wooden pieces on a board. But if you’re more familiar with chess, there’s more meaning there. The rook and bishop moves a particular way, you can call check, blah blah blah. It’s chess, you likely know the rules. If the goal is to put the king in check, I could just arrange my pieces around your king, skipping turns and all. Checkmate! But the magic circle is in place to create a game. Now I can only move a single piece on my turn, and we have something strategic that rewards forethought and observation.” Oros tapped her chin.
”I think this applies to more than just games, Nyan. It applies to realities too. Like here, you have agreed to some terms so that you, well, exist in magical girl space. The grand magistrate wants things one way, and we all agree to it. I believe that in this space, the omniverse may work as you have described it. But it may not work that way elsewhere. But that’s not the magic circle I really wanna talk about now.”Oros drew her sword and thrust it into the ground. The floor had been marred when the blade entered the floor, but all in attendance had just seen a magical girl fight. They didn’t have any reason to think this was going to be anything more than a cute play.
”I think this could be really fun!” Oros threw out her hands.
” I suppose you have an advantage, but you’re not Penny, and I did pretty well against her anyway.” She leaned against her blade.
”My preferred rules are T1, but anything goes. Well whatever! Let’s have a fight to the death, baby!”“You want to fight me?” Nykannis asked, unable to completely hide her incredulity.
“Here? Now? Whatever happened to ‘no touching’?””Please Nyan, it’s me!” She cackled.
”You had cute little workarounds for all of my stipulations. Don't tell me you think I’m gonna play clean after something like that.” Oros folded her arms and rested her chin on top of them, still allowing the sword to hold up her weight.
”The problem with ‘absolutely no touching’ is that if we follow it to the word, we wouldn’t be able to eat our food or wipe our asses. You don’t want me to kiss or hug you, which won’t be a problem because the only thing I’m going to touch you with is my sword.” She lifted a finger.
”Another minor detail, I never explicitly discussed the condition in which the date ends, just that I get to decide when it does. Rather than waiting for a set time, how about the date ends once one of us is dead?”Nykannis sighed in annoyance.
“Why am I not surprised you’re one of those psychos who conflate sex and violence… Okay, fine,” she relented.
“I suppose I could give you a total fucking curb stomp, make all your sick little masochistic fantasies come true and whatnot, but wouldn’t you rather have a chat with an adorkable, underdeveloped girl who actually wants to meet you instead? ‘Cause it just so happens I know someone who checks all those boxes. And no, it’s NOT me. Besides,” she added as she removed her goggles and began cleaning them on the lab coat hanging from her chair.
“If we went through with your public humiliation, I’d have to unveil Phase Two, and I was really hoping to have their grand debut come at later date, against someone we both despise. Oh, and that reminds me, you made that offhand remark earlier about a military magical girl team you probably thought I didn’t hear. Well, to clear up any misconceptions you may have, they were the first of the four teams that compose Phase One. And yes, they did get their asses handed to them by her royal ditziness, but that’s only because they were merely my crudest beginnings, little more than beta testing prototypes! Phase Two, on the other hand… Weeell, you’ll just have to wait and see, but I promise you’ll enjoy the show. Now, how about I get that little moe blob I mentioned?””You ramble worse than I do.” Oros squinted her eyes.
”First of all, I said I wanted to fight you. I don’t care how powerful your phase one, two, three, or twenty-five are. Aigorost has a host of champions that could do me in with a flick of their finger. We’re not involving them with our thing here. Secondly, I do not ‘conflate violence with sex.’ Those two things along with eating just happen to be among my favorite things to do! And lastly…” She groaned.
”...She wants to meet me?”“Okay, first, Phase One and Two only exist because of my unparalleled super-scientific genius,” Nykannis replied, choosing to completely ignore Oros’s latest insult.
“And I like to think I put a little bit of myself into all of my creations, so you would still technically be fighting me. Second, that doesn’t particularly surprise me, and third, yeah. Apparently, she has a fascination with ‘fellow 4th wall breakers’, or whatever. Supposedly, she wanted to visit you in Esper Land, but the rules wouldn’t let her or some shit? I don’t fucking know, but anyways, you wanna meet her now?”Meeting a moe blob, or going out in a blaze of glory…
Tough choice.
It wasn’t every day she got dominated by a seven-hundred-thousand year old loli, but there were a lot of unknown variables surrounding the second option. Nykannis had, perhaps expertly, forced Oros’s hand. Because while fighting Nykannis was a heroic action, it was far less so when you realized she was denying someone a chance to meet her. She had to weigh the pros and cons for a bit. With a growl, Oros rolled her eyes.
”Sure, send her in.”With a snap of her fingers, Nykannis opened a crackling portal, through which stepped
an adorable young girl in a black dress.
“This is Jennifer,” Nykannis explained as the portal closed behind the new arrival, and a glob of nanites formed a chair for her to sit in.
“Jennifer, this is Oros. Well, have at it, I guess.”The ashen blonde glanced around as she stepped out of the portal. Even if she could simply teleport into the restaurant herself, she didn't expect Nykannis to help out with that. She made note to thank the scientist later.
"Nice place." Jennifer said, sitting down with her legs crossed.
"And you two haven't killed each other yet. I assume the not-date is going well then?" The girl added with a polite smile, looking between Nykannis and Oros.
”I mean I wanted to...”She settled on looking towards the latter though.
"Designation: Ouroboros, aka Oros. How've you been?"Shit, it was another one of those science nutjobs. There was nothing cute about this. What a scam.
”Uh, acceptable?” Oros looked at the side of her blade.
”Weird, you don't have a Champion Script, and you're totally unknown to me.” She squinted her eyes.
”Who are you exactly?”Despite Oros' suspicions, the girl remained calm.
"Hahah, unsurprising considering my circumstances." Her smile turned sheepish. The last thing she needed was someone to figure her out completely.
"Can see about getting a Non-Patron Champion script together for reference later. There's...alot to work on that's been put off. At least Penrose wise." Jennifer shrugged, her expression turned to indifference for a moment.
"As for who I am specifically, let's just say it was only a matter of time before I made an appearance." She hinted, idly swinging her legs in place.
”There's an appeal to the mysterious type, but you're not giving me much to work with here.” Oros tapped her foot.
”Stroodle cat said you wanted to see me. Well, at your service. What can I do ya for?”Jennifer's expression comically blanked out. Truth be told, she hadn't planned far ahead.
"Well ah, I'll be honest I didn't really have a goal in mind. Just wanted to bother you guys for a while." She let an arm rest on the table.
"It gets boring waiting on the right time to appear when things are going at a snail’s pace, so I figured I’d poke around a bit ahead of time. See if there's anything I can do before the inevitable demise of another reality." She explained with a lop-sided smile.
”Alright then, here's something you can do.” Oros handed her sword over to her.
”End my suffering. or give me a hug. Your choice.”Was...she kidding? Whether or not the girl decided, her choice would probably prove moot. Jennifer was aware of how difficult the meta-breaking cultist was to put down, so what was she planning? In a public place at that. She held the sword with both her hands, looking between it, Oros, and Nykannis with uncertainty.
"...Okay then."With a hollow, cold stare, she rose the sword above her shoulder,
"Off with your head."Then swung it down, aiming at Oros' neck.
Except her head didn't roll. Instead Jennifer stopped her momentum a perfect inch before the sword met skin and bone. Instead, she moved the blade to lightly poke Oros' nose with it's tip.
"Boop." Her smile returned. Oros pulled back her nose and snorted.
"I may be an idiot, but I'm not stupid. I know you'd survive bullshit like decapitation. Maybe I could've pulled something much cooler like speeding up the rate that you age until you're nothing but ashes or locking you in a death loop like that one sorcerer did but... Eh, I'm not in the mood." With that, she set Endless Eclipse down, and pulled the pink-haired woman into a
hopefully quick hug.
Oros accepted the hug, squeezing Jennifer back just a little too hard before letting go.
”I think you’d be surprised how vulnerable I am after listening to Nykannis spout shit in that dress of hers. Death isn’t all that permanent to creatures like ourselves. We can just pick other Reality Plenums to invade.” Alright, now this was something Oros could work with. The ‘boop’ had her enticed for sure.
”Anyway, that’s my favorite personality test. You scored pretty high.” She gazed into her blade again.
”I’m kinda tapped out on things to talk about though. I’m gunna skip going over the science nonsense, but you can read back through the Portable Oscillating Special Transceiver if you’re itching to talk about ‘science’ stuff.“ Oros scratched under her arm.
”Guess I gotta add you to the chart. Uh, so you mentioned a collapsing reality. Something happened to your base one? What’s the story on that?“Jennifer's smile faltered slightly.
"More like I got locked out of my reality. Can't confirm if it's erasure but I wouldn't be surprised if it is. OR if my reality's dead as hell by now." She shrugged, avoiding talking about the past in more detail.
"But I meant your Penrose collapsing. Usually without a proper finish, Reality Plenums eventually just...die out. You can salvage some junk here and there beforehand, but it takes some work in giving the fraction a new residence." The girl explained.
”Oh, the Code Vein thing. I thought it might be that.“ The pink haired girl grinned.
”Well, this place can do what it wants. Doesn’t feel like it’s collapsing to me, but I say that as someone who’s jumped already. There’s not really much reason for hanging around here.“ Her eyes moved over to Nykannis.
”But someone called me a coward, so I had to come back here, challenge them, and I guess they want me to play with you because they are too scared to go through with it.“ She looked back at the cute girl, who might not have been all that cute with the threats of death loops and aging curses.
”There’s no rush, regardless. Finding a place to settle down, I mean. Waiting is sometimes the best option. Unless you worship a horror with grand agendas, then you’d best not linger long.“Well, she can't exactly answer for Nykannis, now could she?
"Oh! Uh, I didn't mean myself per se. I've come to terms with my circumstances. I meant...hmm." Jennifer took a moment to think. A list, a tablet seemingly made of holographic light formed in her hand, and she took to looking through it.
"Take Designations: Pinocchio and Inferno for example, you may know both as Finnegan Vanhorn. Truth be told, he was only supposed to show up in Pax for a fresh start but something cropped up and well, there's two now. Though Pinocchio's a reboot, Inferno's a continuation, but both had to have their memories altered and edited to become stabilized." She then grimaced.
"For the most part on One-Eye Jack's end, but you know what I mean."”Yea yea, pin and Ifrit sound cool. But they aren’t you. They aren’t even as cute as you.“ She rubbed her chin.
”Well okay, maybe Pin if he can get older and still be a cinna-bon he stands a chance.“ She lowered her hand.
”But I get it, it must be hard to talk about yourself when you don’t even have a history to gab about.“ Oros looked the small girl up and down.
”So what’s a seemingly sweet thing like you doing with someone like Nyan?“The girl was almost tempted to say "Stalling." to make something happen, but then this conversation would be a moot point so...
"I just met up with her before this, is all. There's not much to do back in my little slice of the Inbetween. Could go bother the other witches or something but they..." She trailed off. After a pause, she furrowed her eyebrows with a tired look.
"We don't talk much."”I see, I see.“ Oros extended an arm around the girl’s shoulders.
”You know it’s okay, I get it. Nyan is pretty resourceful, but she can be kind of scary. I don’t blame you for talking to her. I can only imagine what that must have been like. Without a world, just kind of floating around….“ Oros trailed off.
”Hey, can I tell you something a little personal?“ Oh boy.
"Sup?"”I think you may wish to divorce yourself from the cruel mistress that is ‘fourth wall breaking.’“ She rubbed Jennifer’s shoulder as she said this.
”I must sound like I’m being greedy, but trust me, it’s not like all that other stuff. It’s not like that time Mariette’s patron made a coin smith because they were too creatively bankrupt to find other avenues of power. That might irk my patron, but not me. Understanding the world as we do is a curse, and there is a reason there aren’t many of us around. We just sort of suck the magic out of everything. I mean look at Nyan.“ She pointed at the small scientist.
”She’s not quite on the same level I am, that we are. She can claim to be the queen of mad science, a seven-hundred-thousand year old loli genderswap of Oan Kyouma. But I know that her thoughts come from a creature that lives beyond the veil of our reality, something that will never be born into it. I’d be willing to wager the one controlling her isn't even thirty yet. She’s a sock puppet for a horror, and she is unaware of this.“ She looked out of the corner of her eye at Jennifer.
”And what’s worse is that these horrors live incredibly short lives. On paper, they live about as long as normal humans. But take this monolog I’m spouting right now. It’s going to be a few seconds long, right? Maybe a minute? But it took my patron far longer than that to write. The entirety of the magical girl saga may have happened over the course of a few months, but it took several patrons years of toiling to make it happen. And we are not ensured to stick around nearly as long as they are. They are fickle creatures, and once we aren’t of interest to them anymore, well, who knows?“ Oros released Jennifer and leaned on the table.
”Maybe we continue on our adventures, multiple versions of us playing out in the minds of all the patrons that witness us. That’s a happy thought, something that pleases Nykannis and her infinite forest I imagine. But what if we cease to exist all together? What if we never really existed in the first place?“ She tapped her fingers against the top of the table.
”I hope when you finally settle down, you aren’t as mad as I am.“The girl's eyes widened. Was she trying to convince her to back down? Jennifer had to run by Oros' nihilistic ramblings again in case she hadn't heard wrong. The mention of multiple versions of them caused her to unwillingly tense up. Did she know more than she let on? Was she suspecting something? Well, she could see why despite their rivalry, that Oros and Nykannis tolerated each other. Some weird case of opposites attract despite the running theme here.
So where did that leave her?
After a moment to think she spoke up again.
"It's rather charming that you assume the near best of me." Jennifer mustered up a smile.
"Though it's also sad that you've resigned yourself to such a downer's mindset. Call me stupid for using theatre terms, but so what if we're just puppets to a fool's play? Yes, there are cases where actors must be replaced or let go, but that's merely the case of bad luck or circumstance. As long as the memories of us stay strong, even someone like me won't fade into obscurity, not for long at most." She motioned to the scenery around them.
"Look around. You're here, aren't you? You feel anger, sorrow, love and hope, if Aigorost didn't care about you then you wouldn't be standing here now, would you? Hell, they decided to transfer the rest of Cradle and then some to the next isle over for a reason, instead of making a new motley crew from scratch, right?" She then glanced towards Nykannis.
"Both of you make valid points about how the Inbetween works as a multiverse. You make compelling cases, but then...who keeps the monitor from breaking down, or keeps the forests alive? Someone has to, right?" Jennifer looked back to Oros.
"What I'm trying to say is, even if we're all mad here, the higher beings you speak of seem to care enough to keep us here. Even whoever's behind my strings was stubborn enough to bring me in cause of a fucking running gag, or to give Finnegan a new home. I might not be able to go back to my reality, not now, but as the Witch of Time, I have a job that needs to be done." She sadly smiled.
"You don't have to worry about me getting into worser trouble than this for now. Not only am I not supposed to tamper with an active timeline, but I'm pretty sure I'd get kicked out if I didn't come in visits." Jennifer glanced away with an indifferent frown.
"That, and in a way, I've already had my time in the spotlight. As foolish as she was. ...Sorry.""Makoto and her friend seemed to have a similar idea on how all of this worked.“ Oros rubbed her chin.
”Something along the lines of acquiring freedom rather than ceasing to exist when this all ends. But isn't that too simple?“ Oros continued to mumble to herself.
"Who knows?"Jennifer remained silent for a moment, then sighed.
"Oi, Kannis, you done with whatever you're-" "Hey hold the phone!“ Oros pointed at the doll-like girl's head.
"You're a witch now? This is what I'm talking about. 'Oh, I don't have anything to talk about. I just happen to be part of a collection of magi who's power is comparable to some of the strongest people in the setting.' Like what the hell is that about?“ She folded her arms.
"I don't use this term lightly, but you're starting to seem more than a little sus.“"Wha'dya take me for, an imposter?" Jennifer joked.
If I could reach that far I'd strangle you both. Though whatever joking grin she bore gave way to unamusement.
"No shit, Sherlock, how the hell would I be able to do shit like time travel if I haven't broke through the bounds of my old reality? Technically, I'm a weirder cases then those idiots you know already. The title of Witch doesn't exactly apply to me anymore." She explained. She looked over to Nykannis, waiting to see if she'd do anything.
...Guess not.
"Is it too late to mention this isn't what I actually look like?"At first, Nykannis had been content to simply listen as Jennifer and Oros had their little chat, but when Oros had begun her ‘meta awareness’ rant, the Monarch of Mad Science decided it was time to offer her own contribution to the discussion. And when Jennifer had begun disclosing potentially awkward information, she knew she definitely needed to intervene.
“As entertaining as all of this has been to listen to, I’d like to interject a little something here. In particular, I’d like to correct miss ‘Find and Replace’ here’s little misconception about how much ‘meta knowledge’ I actually have. While it’s true I don’t consider myself a fictional character, I fully understand that there are levels of reality far beyond what anyone in this multiverse can readily perceive. Even when you’ve reached the furthest boundaries of infinity, or your quintillion googolplex pixel monitor, there’s always more, always another layer, just out of reach. So we’re all characters in someone’s story? So what? There are several billion mundane morons on this one planet right now who could potentially be dreaming up stories, dreaming up universes, at this very moment, and they live in a world that many people believe is just some elaborate simulation, while others think it was all created by some almighty God, but really, what’s the fucking difference?! Everything that exists was created by something, by someone. And who do you think created them?! I have no fucking idea, but you can bet your ass I’m gonna find out, and incidentally, your little nihilistic ‘everything is pointless’ rant actually proved my point about the nature of infinity, so congratulations. I win, you lose. Oh, and as for you,” she added turning to Jennifer.
“I don’t know why the hell you’re so hung up on there being two of everyone’s favorite misanthropic failure. I mean, most people have analogs in other worldlines. I mean, take the Silverburg Seven. Did you know that, in another universe, they all attend magical girl school in a post apocalyptic future? Well, all except Lucy. Like the three of us, she’s something of a singularity, since that’s the kinda thing that happens when an eons old time abyss decides to settle down and start a family. ANYWAYS, that little ‘thing’ I was working on was finished a while ago. I’ve just been enjoying watching the two of you interact.”"Did I really say that? Geez." The girl rose a brow.
If Oros was in a calmer state of mind, she might have asked Nykannis to clarify how anything she said pertained to an infinite anything. She might have also reminded Nykannis about the magic circle talk they had not even a few minutes ago. She definitely would have said something about Jennifer’s suddenly less-cutesy way of talking and acting. But Oros was
not in a calm state of mind. On the contrary, she looked quite volatile. The whites in her eyes turned black Her pupils stretched and warped into something more akin to a lizard or feline, and then with a blink, it was gone.
"I’m sorry sweetie, Jen, can I call you Jen?“ She smiled and leaned into her palm.
"I was told you looked like a cute moe blob. What do you really look like?“"Depends on which one you're referring to."With a snap of her fingers, the time witch deactivated the disguise, revealing what she
normally looked like.
"Hope you won't hold this against me."Even if they were bound to fight. She knew that look in the cultist's eye.
Oros growled. If she was supposed to believe that
this was what Jenifer looked like- no. No! There was fuckery afoot. Oros was sure about it.
"A shape shifter? Illusionary magic? The hell is this shit?““Yeah, the only reason I suggested she wear the fancy dress to start with was because I thought when you saw her in the 404 t-shirt you’d get the mother of all nosebleeds,” Nykannis replied with a wry smirk.
“I’m glad to see I was wrong.”"Bullshit! No way she’s flat! This was a lot more amusing on ‘rise up’ with broken links.“ Oros leaned back in her chair.
"I guess this is it then.“ She raised her hands at the table, which was filled with nothing but dirty dishes at this point.
"I would have settled for an epic death or hugging a moe blob tonight, but you have deprived me of both.“ She pulled Endless Eclipse across her lap.
"I guess we’re done here?““I don’t know, you tell me,” Nykannis replied with a grin.
”Fine, I don’t give a shit anymore..“ Oros pulled an apple out of thin air.
“Gotta admit, I for one actually enjoyed this,” Nykannis conceded.
“Maybe we can do it again when you come to pick up the Star Bastion.”"Ooh, space upgrade."The pink haired girl froze, her teeth had just bitten into the flesh of her apple.
"So you want a second date?“ Oros chuckled.
"Well I had no idea you’d be up for a second one! I wouldn’t have had this one end with a death. This is kind of awkward now. But I have an idea.“ Her apple vanished. Inside her cleavage.
"Since Nyan here believes in infinite realities, I’ll just narrate a scenario in which one of us dies. Does that sound agreeable? ‘Cuz I don’t care! Don’t worry, I’ll narrate everything with my low, ASMR style voice.“ Oros folded her arms, closed her eyes, and started to whisper.
"We’re having a nice time at the lux.
Nyan says that she’d like to do it now.
We were just talking about the fine art of entering realities, so I was confused. But I picked up on her innuendo. It was a double entendre, possibly even a triple entendre.
We go to the women's restroom, because we’re women. Nyan ushers me in with a giggle and slaps my ass. I’m surprised, but I say nothing.
Nyan can’t wait for the door to shut. She jumps on my back and bites my neck. After spinning in circles , I get her onto the diaper changing counter. We’re holding hands, hers are soft.
We’re both nervous, I just hide it better.
I reach for her hair, but she guides my hand elsewhere. My fingers glide along her marble white skin. They catch on her green dress and pull it off of her torso.
I can’t avert my eyes.
She wore it.
The baby doll underwear!
I can see the red frills popping out. The color matches the blush in her cheeks.
I foam at the mouth.
Too much blood rushes to my nose, and a vein ruptures.
It’s like a rocket. I’m propelled into the air.
Nyan’s innocence alone cleanses my monstrous nature. My mana runs dry trying to heal the damage, but nothing stops the geyser of blood.
She calls my name, it’s no use.
Even the greatest scientific mind couldn’t foresee this, and she’s powerless to do anything.
Jen leaves a stall. She finished taking a leak and spotted me laying there.
You both wonder what to do when there’s no way to save me.
Nyan gives me mouth to mouth while Jen acts as a pillow for my throbbing head. You switch positions when Jen suggests her larger body means she can deliver more air. It’s just as futile.
Your concerns for my life become conflated with the growing desires in your hearts. Mine too.
While you would never stop trying, I can’t take your desperation.I tell you both that I love you, and pass.
You weep.
But not for me, as waiting a few decades for my resurrection is nothing for creatures that have existed for the better part of time itself.
You are sad because you were right. You are living in someone’s fantasy, which proves that the ideas of a word can spawn an uncountably infinite number of realities. But this also means you need to relinquish the foolish notion that you are a singularity, because singularities can’t exist in such a space.“Oros opened her eyes and grinned.
"I realize one of your stipulations was no touching, but I just couldn’t keep you off of me. Was my death a good enough punishment?“ Oros stood up and tucked her thumbs into the rim of her skirt.
"Guess I’ll bounce then. Might bring Aria around next time if you behave yourself.“The time witch blinked in bewilderment, before looking back at the scientist.
"Well I suddenly need a drink, does this place have any bourbon?" She asked with a comical look.
“Yeah,” Nykannis replied in a shell shocked deadpan, one of her eyes having begun to twitch.
“But I think you’re gonna need something a LOT stronger than bourbon after having to sit through whatever the fuck THAT was…”Jennifer tiredly chuckled.
"Whatever works."Oros scoffed.
"Really? Nothing? Hmm.“ She spoke a bit quieter.
"We uh, we are doing this again, right?“ This wasn't the end to tonight that Oros had hoped for, not by a long shot. But she would have another shot in the future it seemed.
"Next time...“Oros spun on her heel and faded out of reality.
“Is she gone yet?” Nykannis muttered as she glanced back at the table.
“Good,” she exhaled in weary relief.
“Sorry about that,” the mad scientist added as she removed the filter over Jennifer to reveal the Time Witch’s
true appearance. “I just didn’t want to cause any potentially unfortunate drama if Oros saw what, or rather, who you really look like. Speaking of drama, I’m glad there wasn’t any, otherwise I’d have needed to use the Dream Cannon I’d surreptitiously positioned behind her head. Thanks for the distraction, by the way. I’ll cover your drink, and anything else you might wanna have. The food here is fucking amazing.”"Honestly I could've just swapped to a different disguise, but nice save." Jennifer smiled.
"She'll figure it all out at some point though. Hopefully it'd just be my problem by then and not yours. Anyways, let's see what they got..." She trailed off, grabbing a menu.
“Oh, I have no doubt,” Nykannis agreed with an amused smirk.
“But it’s like I told you earlier, the way around her stupid sword is just to make sure the stuff you plan gets added to the Grand Magistrate’s Incident Chronicle after those plans actually come to fruition. Like just now. Everything that just happened between your arrival here and us having this chat should make it painfully obvious to you and anyone else who happens to be watching this that, while Oros may be broken, she isn’t unbeatable.”“Ah, Doctor Kannis!” the head waiter called as he approached the pair. “Will you be leaving us now?”
“Nah, I just need to speak with the mixologist. My associate and I need something extra strong to get the taste of that out of our mouths…”“Oh! W-Was your meal deficient in some way?” the head waiter asked, his nervousness plainly evident in his voice.
“No, the food was exemplary, as usual,” Nykannis reassured him.
“The company on the other hand…”“Oh, I see…” the now considerably relieved man said with growing understanding. “If I may be permitted to be so bold, the gentleman you were with earlier did seem a little…
odd…”
“That’s putting it mildly,” Nykannis replied, while doing her best to suppress a shudder.
“Ah, but you mentioned the mixologist! Please don’t trouble yourselves with seeking him out.
I shall fetch him for you at once!”
“So, wanna head back to our seats? Now that ‘Ouroboros’ is gone, it should be considerably more pleasant.”The woman nodded.
"After you, Monarch. ...Wait, gentleman??"
The Golden Trove looked dead on the outside, but in the recesses of Boteg’s old lair, something was happening.
A white haired girl with
a body suit and a large dart gun arrived with a bag filled with groceries. She had left her newest student in the hotel to train. But you could only train for so long without rest or food, and that was why “P.T.” had returned. While pain might be weakness leaving the body, food could be looked at as strength entering it.
P.T. had been grilling her student pretty good. She had been forcing her to meditate in a room filled with magical incense, then pit her against her own clones for an hour or so to measure her growth. Normally It would probably be months before her student was ready for a gentle sparring session. It wasn’t just her form that needed help, her spirit was weak too. She’d let a mouse walk over her if given the chance.
Sure enough, P.T. found her green haired student hanging from a ceiling fan. Her underwear had been pulled over her head, and then suspended on a fan blade. It was rather humorous, but P.T. had hoped to see
some progress. Magic incense was not cheap, and she wasn’t sure if Binky would ever be worth it. P.T. trained the strongest fighters, and she knew what potential looked like. This wasn’t it.
”Binky.” P.T. sighed.
”Maybe, this is, not for you man.”Though when P.T. looked further down the hall,, she could see many more “Binkys” in humiliating poses. One had been wrapped into a pretzel, another had a towel tied around their face, and another had been tossed in a hamper, with her legs draped over the edge of the basket.
”Bro?” P.T. exhaled.
”Seriously?” Up the stairs, round the corner, right into Boteg’s old office. Binky was doing more than just resisting her clone’s attempts to humiliate her, she was giving them a bit of their own medicine. Three of her clones tried to run past P.T., but one of them was unfortunate enough to get caught in Binky’s clutches.
”Get ten of your friends if you want, it’s not going to stop me!” Upon noticing her personal trainer, Binky released her clone, who scampered off.
”O-oh! I um.” She swallowed.
”Broooooooooooooo.” P.T. patted Binky on the shoulder.
”I am, like, so proud of you bro. I thought one of those, clones, was you. Their beat down, was totally righteous. ” The trainer smiled.
”You’re like, doing well now. We should, keep it up.”Binky stood up a bit straighter.
”Then I do have potential?” ”Totaly, man.” But P.T. couldn’t praise Binky forever. This was a huge first step, but it showed that her abilities had outstripped that of her clones. She’d need to get even stronger, and ideally, her clones would also get stronger. Though maybe now they would respect her a little bit more.
Her phone beeped. It seemed that she got a text from some guy called Marcus. Though after reading the contents, it became clear there was a bit more going on here.
”Ah. It’s like, almost time, bro.” The trainer pocketed their phone.
”Is your body, ready man?””Not when you word it like that!”Oros faded into reality as she waved her hand at Binky.
"Change of plans!“ ”Hey, moneybags!” P.T. took a whiff of the air.
”How was, the date, my guy? Did you, have fun?”"I mean… It doesn’t matter!“ Oros plucked the flowers out of her hair and shirt.
Binky raised her hand.
”So where are we going?”"To pick up some hitch hikers.“ Oros pointed over her shoulder with her thumb.
"We ready to depart?“P.T. gave the room a casual glance.
”Gotta, move the, clones around. Then we can, go.” she raised an eyebrow.
”You good, my man?”"I’ll be better once I get this off!“ Oros started unbuttoning her blouse while walking back down the hall.
"Shit! Did I eat that much? Binky! Help me out of this thing!“Binky took a few steps forward before P.T. offered her a pipe with golden smoke wafting out of it.
”Be brave, my guy.” The green haired scientist nodded, took a quick puff, and passed the pipe back to P.T. before marching down the hall.
"I hope I still fit into my uniform!“
Upon returning to her lab, Nykannis gave voice to a tired sigh as she settled into her command throne, her dress reforming itself into the robe she’d been wearing before Oros had shown up. While the pink-haired lunatic had been as cringey and annoying as expected, the Monarch of Mad Science had actually found the evening somewhat enjoyable. Indeed, just the look on Oros’s face while chatting with Jennifer had made all the usual unpleasantness of interacting with the pink-haired pervert more than worth it. The fact that said chat had defeated Oros’s pitiful attempts to manipulate the evening’s events was merely icing on the proverbial cake. And that was to say nothing of the
other ways the Mad Scientist Supreme had chosen to amuse herself, ways that Oros had been completely oblivious to, but would inevitably learn of in the fullness of time. The fact that she’d ensured one of the waiters was actually a robot of her own design, for instance, or that said waiter was the only person present (aside from Jennifer and herself) able to pierce the perception filter she’d placed over her pink-haired dining partner, which caused everyone to view the meta aware girl as a middle aged, balding, bespectacled
man, a man who was about a hundred pounds overweight…
Now, however, it was time to relax and unwind, and what better way to do that, then to once again check up on one of her favorite ongoing projects? Activating her panoramic interdimensional viewer, Nykannis located the reality plenum in question and found that her unwitting agent appeared to be even more distraught than when she’d looked in on her earlier. Where before she’d been weeping, now the poor thing was practically bawling her eyes out and generally seeming quite pathetic.
This wouldn’t do.
This simply wouldn’t do at
all…“Perhaps I should give her a little pep talk?” Nykannis mused aloud, a grin spreading across her face as she opened up an interdimensional communications link with The Vessel’s chosen bearer.
“W-Why do I even have these powers if I can’t help anyone with them?” the girl was sobbing.
“But you can…” Nykannis told her as she gently stroked the small creature that had just now rematerialized in her lap.
“And you will…”
…
..
.
“So, yeah, that’s basically what happened.”“Wait, hold up. Who’s this ‘Jennifer’ chick?”“Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you about her. We met a few hours before my little ‘dinner engagement’ with Oros. It’s actually quite the story.”“Well, I’ve got nothing better to do.”“All right, I suppose now’s a good enough time to tell you. And I know a certain pink-haired pervert will be interested in hearing about it as well, so listen up, Oros, cause you’re gonna love this…”