Barbarian: This movie is a fucking trap and completely goes off the rails within forty minutes. Good actors gets replaced with ones who can’t. Men are dumb and bad. And an inbred couple locked in a basement feeds someone a big baby bottle. There, I saved you two hours. 2/10

Imagine thinking Justin Long giving the best idiot sleazaeball performance is bad. Imagine missing the point of the movie so hard that you think it's "men are dumb and bad" considering the Keith character. Imagine spoiling the movie because you don't like it. What's a trap about it? Because it doesn't just go the obvious route? Also calling them an 'inbred couple' is wild considering it's quite clear they aren't a couple and she is, in fact, a victim and also she is not locked in the basement at all but I guess that would require not seeing a movie where the bad guy is a literal rapist and kidnapper as 'men are dumb and bad'. Like damn what things do you even like watching

Imagine thinking Justin Long giving the best idiot performance is bad. Where the bad guy is a literal rapist. Missing the point of the movie so hard that you think it's "men are dumb and bad".

Uh huh. (Keith is an idiot in this movie/he had no reason to go down in the basement/dark stairs without any light source. And the female basically calls Keith an idiot for his actions earlier in the movie.)

You can't pretend the tone of the movie didn't do a full 180. And it's hard to get invested with the strawman rapist character. But they also take so fucking long to just kill the dude, that it's not remotely engaging throughout the final act. (And no Justin Long did not act very well.) But the characters are all one note and unbelievable anyway. And their decisions fail to make any sense. So my answer is, I like coherent plots.

And it's a trope of these modern horror movies to have one random dumbass scene in it, that makes critics praise it for being unpredictable. (Don't Breathe, third act easily the worst part of the movie/has that turkey baster scene. For one, of many, examples. But I don't want to be accused of spoiling more movies people shouldn't bother watching. imao.)

As for more good examples of movies, I'm hoping to find some soon...

I saw the latest Halloween and was disappointed in it.

I've had guests over for quite a while. So I haven't watched things that I meant to. (Parasite, The Outfit, etc.) So I made them watch a few movies that they enjoyed. Exam and Mindhunters (The movie. Not that Netflix show.) Both entertaining, albeit cheesy, thriller movies that do their genre well.

And in return I finally watched Escape Room. And yeah, it was pretty toothless and forgettable. But I wouldn't mind the PG / cheeseball twist aspect so much, if the characters acted believably. But one dead body in, and the fuckers are STILL making marvel-level witty quips about their scenario. Also the puzzle aspect is so poorly utilized, that even the worst Saw movies do a better job. (4/10 Probably. I'd rather watch Hellfest again. The horny teens come across less stupid than the "smart puzzle solvers" in this.)

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Other Movie Reviews:
The Outfit: Talk about a no-burner. The characters in this movie are so unbelievably stupid that it makes this impossible to take seriously. Predictable and bland from minute one to the end. 3/10

Parasite: I did not expect this to be a black comedy. But it feels incredibly similar to Everything, Everywhere, All At Once. (Writing wise.) It starts out with great family/character interactions and comedy. Then our situation and plot quickly devolves over time into pure nonsense. (Another secret basement twist. Hollywood sure loves these things.) So while the cinematography is undeniably well executed and the acting is usually enjoyably over the top, the pacing of it is all over the place. And I was honestly struggling to get through its both slow and rushed final act. 6/10

Vesper: For someone who doesn’t tend to enjoy a lot of Sci-fi. This was a nice little indie arthouse film. (Basically translated to ‘the pacing is slow’.) Had good music, serviceable special effects, and its world building was pretty neat and the sets were all interesting to look at. And from that description, you can tell that it’s “one of those” movies. The acting and actual narrative could’ve easily been stronger, if it was made into a full series. 7/10

Decision To Leave: Another south korean movie with some nice shots/cinematography. (Didn’t even know it was the same director of Oldboy when I tried it.) But this one is so fucking long, and the second half goes absolutely nowhere. 3.5/10

The Prestige: I don't think the strength of this movie is in its narrative twists and turns. But how well its directed, performed, and paced. With nice attention to detail for extra viewings, and only a few things I'd nitpick about its script. (People all speak vaguely because mystery. And CPR might've saved us a movie.) 8/10

(Double post and you can't stop me.)

Because a youtuber claimed that he liked it, and I was bored.

Just Add Magic is better than I expected it to be. The first season is actually pretty well written “for a kids show” in that there’s plenty of reincorporation and serialized storytelling. (More so than most ‘adult entertainment’ I’ve seen recently.) The weak parts (like catchphrases) are ironed out quickly. (Episode 1 and done for that example.) Main characters are all flawed and likable. (And the trope “dumb male” characters aren’t used often.) There’s a handful of amusing lines throughout, and it’s ‘watchable’ in how each episode tends to leave on another mystery or cliffhanger. And even the “we need a happy ending” deus ex machina that it ends on, is done in a way that makes perfect sense for the story that it’s telling.

Season Two is twice as long, and is divided into two separate arcs/antagonists. Both attempting to do something different, and are equally creative in how much it attempts to build/expand on the simple concept that it has. However, that requires a lot of plot convenience and contrivances to make the story happen. Like the characters fucking time travel in episode two ‘because reasons’, only to realize in the end that they can never do it again. Womp womp. (So it tries to add depth to the characters instead. To its credit.) But each also concludes abruptly and less successfully each time. (In that the last minute solution/happy ending feels less earned.) The 2nd half of its season being a pretty obvious and drawn out whodunit plot.

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Other shows that I attempted to watch an episode of:

The Peripheral: Just watch Cyberpunk Edgerunners, if you want obvious preachy sci-fi. This is insufferable. Can’t even get past the first fifteen minutes of every cliche you can think of, thrown into a show that you can already tell put no thought into its worldbuilding.

The Devil’s Hour: Incredibly tropey and dull first episode. And someone really needs to tell filmmakers that “weird kids” aren’t scary or compelling.

Gangs Of London: I wish it was as cheesy and implausible as its opening scene throughout. But it was a pretty unremarkable and sloppily written introduction to your “super gritty action show”.

Weird: The Al Yankovic Story: (I really wanted to like this. But I kind of stopped an hour into it.) This reminds me of those ‘Nostalgia Critic’ movies. Where the best parts are when it's mean spirited, and the majority of it is “references”.

Yellowstone. Never got around to watching it until late this year because I didn't have Paramount+ and/or Peacock at the time. There's just too many streaming services these days, and Yellowstone has some weird licensing deal where some seasons are one platform where others are on another. Anyway, the show's cool; always been interested in those "neo-western" type shows, and the National Park backdrop is interesting as well.

Last great film I watched, was an arse kicker , loved it and highly recommend it...."NOBODY"

Violent Night is a cheesy B-movie to watch with friends. (Like I did.) But its modern movie-isms to please the critics are obnoxious. (To me.) And almost everything in this movie could be easily improved upon. So I'd be hard pressed to say that a repeated viewing would do this movie any favors. (5 out of 10)

For instance, the action is shot too dark. (A cheap way to cover its budget/CGI blood effects.) The plot is a complete fucking mess. (And the pacing is a bit all over the place too.) Most lines are cliché one-liners that you'd expect to hear⁠—but they're not used in any clever ways. It's almost always trying to be funny⁠—but not all the comedy works. And my biggest critique is that many of the actors can't act, and their stupid characters are either unlikable or half-baked perfect people. So it's hard to care, beyond the few laughs and over-the-top violence that keeps it watchable.

(Though it's directed by the dude who made Hansel & Gretel. And has some of the Sonic 2 writers. So this does not surprise me in the least.)

Avatar: The Way of Water was good and also it's about time people finally admit Avatar was always good

So I decided to put on "Guillermo del Toro's Pinocchio". Even though I didn't think I was going to enjoy it...

Because social media claimed it was good and dark. And that worked so well with Lost Ollie.

But I admit, it has a lot of heart and was well executed (for the most part). And it grew on me and my roommate, while we watched it.

Though let's be clear about one thing first. It's "darkness" is vastly overstated, and nothing comes close to the donkey transformation shit in the original Disney version. No matter how many people you kill and blow up off-screen.

But there's some impressive stop motion and nice background shots in there. So once it got past the overly twee beginning. (Where the singing is a bit painful to listen to, and I straight up couldn't understand some of the kid's lines.) I do think it comes together in the end. Even if I wish it had a few less fairy tale-esque contrivances in its script. (I'll go with a 6/10.)

Avatar: The Way of Water was good and also it's about time people finally admit Avatar was always good

You can't trick me, James Cameron.

I havent seen the new Avatar.

First one was pretty and I enjoyed it but it had a very predictable cookie cutter plot.

Main Guy Colonizer meets natives. Native girl saves main guy colonizer from his own stupidity. Main Guy Colonizer falls for native girl. Main Guy Colonizer gradually grows to understand and identify with native tribe and girl. More colonizers come. They're all total dicks. They want to kill all the natives or steal all their shit or turn their sacred lands into a Super Wal-Mart. Also they're obnoxiously racist. MGC sides with the natives once he sees how cartoonishly evil the other colonizers are. The End.

But the visuals were gorgeous and the alien design was cool. Cool animal designs. Good effects. And Zoe Saldana. Goddam Zoe Saldana. I don't care what kinda alien she is in what movie, that there Zoe Saldana. Goddam.

I hope Way of Water is less predictable, I'm not too optimistic having heard about the return of Evil Racist Scar Face General Man. You remember him. The guy with a scar on his face who was evil and racist and in the military.

Just saw Avatar Way of Water. It was fine, but it was too damn long!

I decided to randomly binge a reality show called "The Traitors". Basically combining 'Werewolf' and 'The Mole' poorly. But it's still entertaining to watch a social deduction game, so I gave it a shot.

My mistake was to watch the U.K version first. Where show seems expensive, overly-produced and has a ton of obnoxious pop music in it. And nearly every character is a walking stereotype, and/or an insufferable crybaby. (Or at least, all the actors and scripted events make them all behave like grown-up children in the show.) Apparently, the modern reality show's new trick is to put several "actors" in your cast. So you don't immediately realize it's all fake and scripted. (Like Netflix's The Mole.)

But it hasn't finished its season yet. So I decided to watch the original Aussie version. And my god, the U.K just ripped off everything, but still managed to do everything worse. Because this one is actually filled with a mostly likeable cast and a better host. (Even the challenges are better.) However, it does have two crippling flaws that make it not worth recommending to those bored enough to watch reality television. 1. The editing is baffling lousy. (It is doing 'contestant and their life story' introduction crap throughout the entire show.) And it STILL manages to forget and sideline someone who almost made it to the very end. 2. The winner is incredibly unsatisfying. Because it's one of those "got a special power/returned from elimination" kind of wins' that never work for me. So all the clever actions made by everyone else, became pointless in the end. Because the winner was mostly lucky and not compelling as a person.

I havent seen the new Avatar.

First one was pretty and I enjoyed it but it had a very predictable cookie cutter plot.

Main Guy Colonizer meets natives. Native girl saves main guy colonizer from his own stupidity. Main Guy Colonizer falls for native girl. Main Guy Colonizer gradually grows to understand and identify with native tribe and girl. More colonizers come. They're all total dicks. They want to kill all the natives or steal all their shit or turn their sacred lands into a Super Wal-Mart. Also they're obnoxiously racist. MGC sides with the natives once he sees how cartoonishly evil the other colonizers are. The End.

But the visuals were gorgeous and the alien design was cool. Cool animal designs. Good effects. And Zoe Saldana. Goddam Zoe Saldana. I don't care what kinda alien she is in what movie, that there Zoe Saldana. Goddam.

I hope Way of Water is less predictable, I'm not too optimistic having heard about the return of Evil Racist Scar Face General Man. You remember him. The guy with a scar on his face who was evil and racist and in the military.

They weren't colonizers in the first movie they were miners they were there just to mine a mineral that would be worth a lot of money. Well other than Sigourney Weaver who was trying to teach them english that was pretty colonizer. Also the bad guy is great he's not nuanced at all he is just marine mercenary man who drinks coffee while napalming a sacred location and it rules and he's even better in the sequel because he is the Vegeta now. He is just Blue Vegeta.

Good point actually. They weren't colonizing they were basically strip mining. And tearing down their magic tree of life like Fern Gully. I don't get the Vegeta reference, but I thought he was one dimensional and cartoonish as a villain. You don't have to try to make every villain one viewers can easily side with, but that guy was just over the top IMO

I don't get the Vegeta reference, but I thought he was one dimensional and cartoonish as a villain.

They give him a second dimension but the important part is that, like Vegeta being obsessed with surpassing Goku, Quaritch is now obsessed with surpassing Jake. Only in this case 'surpassing Jake' means 'fucking killing him and his entire family for no reason other than obsessive petty revenge'

It rules he rules

I counted my shows, and I see that only 1 has ever been Idk the word. . . My other shows all revolve about common history, from skateboarding, to syndicate infiltration for slice of life. Basic, or common equity stuff. My 1 show that's not a regulated show like samurai or kingdoms is Yu Yu Hakusho. I'm finishing watching that.

I love Zoids, Batman Beyond, Action League Now!, Scooby-Doo, Sword Art Online, things that I remember being relative to reality. Yu Yu Hakusho is some apparitional demon seeking brawler. Completely fantasy. But it's not empiric, or using paragon terms to sustain itself. It's also still on Earth, albeit I admit Japan probably.

Watched Black Adam....yeah, it was something. Really something...

Glass Onion was a lot of fun and really cleverly written that I can't imagine someone not enjoying it unless they want to be smarter than the media they consume. Knives Out is probably better as a 'murder mystery' but Glass Onion is much wittier and more clever but it's less about a whodunit and more a whydunit.