@Remuri
There are a lot of issues with this CS.
1. You haven't used the CS Template provided.
2. There are a lot of things missing. Including nationality, occupation and imagery.
3. You don't age down or change appearance when you get isekai'd in this story. You retain the same look as you had when on Earth. So there's no way Xian could have been a 20-something and then end up as a teenager after transfering. Even if his costume is based on the avatar from whatever game he was playing, he would still look like his regular, real-world self, just in that costume.
4. He seems to be happy or enthused about his costume. This is a direct contradiction to the setting, because the point of the costumes is to make the characters feel embarrssed, silly and socially awkward, meaning they'd prefer not to have to wear their outfits.
5. Please make sure you read the Rules.
6. English isn't my first language, and I often make spelling mistakes or grammatical errors. However, your sentences and writing is unfortunately very awkward to read. In an RP, where communication and making yourself understood is one of the most important things, I'm not sure how well you'd do. PLease don't take this is as me insulting your language skills - I personally just have a very big problem understanding people when they don't structure or speak any language (including my native one) in a way that's close to proper. I thus have a very hard time communicating in the real world with foreigners who speak in a 'broken' way - this isn't their fault, of course, I understand that speaking a language that isn't your native can be very difficult, and it's more me not being able to properly piece together what they mean, want or are saying. Wow, this turned into a long section.
There are a lot of issues with this CS.
1. You haven't used the CS Template provided.
2. There are a lot of things missing. Including nationality, occupation and imagery.
3. You don't age down or change appearance when you get isekai'd in this story. You retain the same look as you had when on Earth. So there's no way Xian could have been a 20-something and then end up as a teenager after transfering. Even if his costume is based on the avatar from whatever game he was playing, he would still look like his regular, real-world self, just in that costume.
4. He seems to be happy or enthused about his costume. This is a direct contradiction to the setting, because the point of the costumes is to make the characters feel embarrssed, silly and socially awkward, meaning they'd prefer not to have to wear their outfits.
5. Please make sure you read the Rules.
6. English isn't my first language, and I often make spelling mistakes or grammatical errors. However, your sentences and writing is unfortunately very awkward to read. In an RP, where communication and making yourself understood is one of the most important things, I'm not sure how well you'd do. PLease don't take this is as me insulting your language skills - I personally just have a very big problem understanding people when they don't structure or speak any language (including my native one) in a way that's close to proper. I thus have a very hard time communicating in the real world with foreigners who speak in a 'broken' way - this isn't their fault, of course, I understand that speaking a language that isn't your native can be very difficult, and it's more me not being able to properly piece together what they mean, want or are saying. Wow, this turned into a long section.
