((This is a little optional backstory, it's kind of sad and long. Hopefully its worth the read, I just thought I'd warn you since I don't usually write like this.))
Sofyia ran down the hall, neutralize the enemy and destroy the evidence. Simple enough mission but she knew how it ended, there would be no celebrations, not tonight. Tears ran down her cheeks, she tried so hard to prevent this but a part of her always knew some events were fixed and this was one. She took a sharp turn and saw the window, as promised it was unbarred, ready to be jumped through. She subconsciously began to countdown, as if she thought it would help.
30 seconds
"Sofyia! Don't act like this, it's a simple mission. You have been on more mission just like this than I can count, I need you and your team to be a good example."
"Give it to another team, let them prove themselves, we don't need the experience. Please, trust me, this mission will only bring disaster."
"I will hear no more of this nonsense! You are a symbol of hope and sacrifice and you need to stop acting and start being that beacon. What makes it worse is that you act as if it's about your team, it's not them you worry for is it. Do you know what they're sacrificing to be here? Compared to so many people you are giving nothing."
"I'm sacrificing more than you could possible know."
"What?"
"Nothing sir."
"Then I'll see you when you get back, you'll see how silly this argument was."
"That is my hope"
Why hadn't they listened?
Sofyia crossed her arms as she prepared to jump through the window, still running at full speed.
15 seconds
"Nikolai, if you're not there-"
"I'm going to be there."
"But if you're not then-"
"I'm going to be there and I will not feed this obsession of yours!"
"Please, I'm begging you, if you don't make it don't blame yourself. I know something horrible is going to happen and I don't want you to spend your whole life in guilt because of things you couldn't stop. Just promise me, okay, just promise."
"This is insane Sofyia but if it will help, I promise."
"I'm always with you, remember that."
"As bad as my memory is, I could never forget that."
He's a terrible liar but at least he tried.
Sofyia broke through the window and savored the few seconds before falling. She already saw that the ground was bare but it was no surprise, Nikolai was running towards her but he wouldn't make it. She squeezed her eyes shut, maybe that would help.
5 seconds
"Good luck Sofyia, not that you need it!"
"Go make us proud!"
"You'll do great, this mission will be a piece of cake."
"I keep telling all of you it's really not, just let me say goodbye."
"Why do you keep saying stuff like that, do you not trust us? We're your team, we have your back, always."
"I know that! I trust that you will try but that doesn't mean you'll succeed, somethings can't be stopped."
"I wish you could hear yourself, come on we have to go."
I should have kept my mouth shut, they are only going to feel worse in the end.
Times up...
Sofyia felt and heard her bones break as she hit the pavement. It was happening so fast, she barely registered the shouts of her team before her head hit the pavement. She reopened her eyes briefly. Nikolai was holding her, searching her face for some sign of life. A bitter sweet look of relief passed his face, "I don't know how but you knew all along, didn't you?" Sofyia could only smile weakly while her eyes began to close. "Stay with me Sofyia, please don't leave me." Sofyia frowned and shook her head, "Somethings..." She breathed, Nikolai was crying now, "...you can't stop." He finished for her and she smiled again. Her eyes closed as Nikolai continued to hold her, now standing and walking so sadly and slowly to the others who had went for cover. The building behind them burst into flame and debris was flying everywhere but Nikolai made no effort to hurry. He was furious, Sofyia had tried to tell him but he was too thick headed to listen, he didn't want to consider the possibilities, he only heard and saw what he wanted. It was his selfishness that ensured Sofyia's painful, lonely departure, "How could you ask me to forgive myself?" He squeezed her one last time and hung his head.
Did knowing make it any easier? Did it make it hurt any less? Did I take comfort it knowing it was inevitable?
I'd like to think that I did but I can't.
"Darling you must understand, knowledge is curse, it can consume you and turn you into a monster. Do not seek it out and do not ignore it or it will take everything from you."
"Mama, how can that be true, smart people aren't monsters."
"A well behaved monster is still a monster, if they though you would give them more of the knowledge they desire, only a few would hesitate to take it from you by force."
"What if it comes for me?"
"Then there isn't anything you can do but force it down and carry on, hide it, forget it, bury it but never deny it or try to change it for it will be more unforgiving than the winter winds."
Its funny how often that crazy old hag was right.
Sofyia felt a breeze brush across her face, she heard trees rustling and sounds of fighting. She opened her eyes and coved them from the bright sun that beat down on her from the holes in the tree's canopy. She sighed, "Death could be worse."
