[IC] Controlled Chaos

[ProPro]

"I am so glad you asked, Zhou!" the fly exclaimed, buzzing right near the Chinese general's head. A second later and he transformed once again, this time into the form of a medieval knight wearing a full suit of plate armor. A red cross emblazoned across the chest of his armor, a steel longsword in his right hand, a helmet covering his entire head, yet the afro remained, perched atop the helm. He tapped each of Zhou's shoulders, and in an instant the young man felt his body surging with an unknown, mystical energy.

"I dub thee, Sir Yu, knight of the Round Cheese." As everyone blinked, the table they sat at transformed into a large wheel of Swiss Cheese, complete with holes. Crocus carved a piece out with his longsword, and somehow ate it right off the blade, through his helmet. A moment later he let out a massive, grotesque belch. As he did so, rainbow slinkies emerged from the face plate of his helm, which began to slink all around the room. Up the tables. Down the chairs. Along the walls. Atop the heads of the Mad God's "guests." All over, really. "I have granted you some magical powers, so now you'll be capable of a bit more than you normally would be. No need to thank me. You'll need them to keep up with Bruno and Benny. ANYWAY!"

Crocus slammed his metal-clad fist onto the cheese-table, which rippled like a pool of water, yet somehow remained solid enough for his fist to collide and come to a stop. "It's time for your first job. I'm going to transport you all into a whole new world, and no that isn't an Aladdin reference so don't ask. This is a story as old as time itself. A classic, really. There isn't anybody that doesn't know this story. For your very first mission I want you to rescue a beautiful princess from the horrible dungeon of the evil black knight!"

He spoke each word with a tone of reverence, like he held the idea of the story itself in some manner of esteem that was to be respected by even the most entitled. Once his little speech ended, the god of chaos straightened himself up, sheathed the longsword, and waved his hand. Suddenly, all went black for each of the three that had been gathered.

Prologue Complete

---

---

It felt as though existence itself had been torn from the perception of the trio summoned by Crocus. They existed, but didn't. They were aware, but there seemed to be nothing to be aware of around them. Darkness, emptiness, nothingness... But then little dots of light began to appear, one by one. Soon they were swarmed with small dots. Stars. The trio of Zhou Yu, Bruno the Undead Axeman, and Benny Bones were surrounded by stars in the black of space itself. They each had a moment to take in the sheer beauty of their surroundings, before they were interrupted by... Words? And a musical score blaring in their heads!

Chapter Won

Star Wars Episode Won: An Old Franchise

Suddenly the trio found themselves within the cockpit of a spaceship. Benny sat in the pilot seat and now wore a black vest over her rib cage, along with a holster holding what appeared to be some kind of futuristic gun. On her right sat Bruno, who now found himself to be covered in brown fur, though thankfully he still had his axe. Zhou stood just behind the two undead members of the team, his robe now white and a small metal cylinder hung from a belt loop, which had some sort of handle grip that reminded the general of a sword, yet it contained no blade.

The ship shook violently, and the controls were unresponsive (assuming any of them would have even known how to operate them to begin with). In the distance they could see a large metal sphere, big enough to be a moon, to which they were being drawn toward. Without much time to think or get a handle on the situation, one thing became clear to all: They had a baaaad feeling about this.

[Stern Algorithm]

Zhou Yu took some mild offense at being knighted by Crocus due to the fact that his undying loyalty was to his lord Emperor Sun Quan of Wu, but he kept his displeasure to himself.

When Crocus touched his shoulders he felt an unnatural surge, and a sudden influx of knowledge of what power he had been granted, noting that they were thematically apt, evoking the greatest, most successful battle of his life.

The next few seconds were absolutely stunning as he felt himself be whisked through darkness, and bursting out into the heavens, coming to a stop after the words and music had ended. Zhou Yu shook his head a bit to reorient himself and assess his surroundings. Him and his companions have had a change of clothes. They were in a metal house and it was nighttime outside with a splendid view of the moon. The funny thing about how the human brain processes large things like size and distance is that it doesn't. He couldn't tell initially that they were getting any closer to the moon-like object. Something unsettled him though; he wondered why he could not see the horizon outside the window. The Heavens crept downwards with no Earth in sight, but that was preposterous, the duality of Heaven and Earth was eternal since the Mythical Pang Gu split the primordial egg that floated in the void, thus creating the world. A stifled panic seized Zhou Yu, brought on by the thought that he was currently floating in that primordial emptiness before the creation of the world. To ignore this panic, he put on a smile and decided to introduce himself.

"Well, I suppose we should explore this house and look for this 'princess' our 'god of chaos' mentioned, but first, I don't think I've properly introduced myself. I am General Zhou Yu, style name: GongJin, of the Kingdom of Wu, ruled by the wise and benevolent Sun Quan." He picked the strange handle from his belt and began fiddling with it while waiting for his undead compatriots to give their names and statuses, though he already knew the skeleton was called 'Benny'.

[Stekkmen]

Bruno immediately felt uncomfortable. Not because of the complete shift in scenery and strange omega beings toying with him, but because suddenly he was covered in fur. Making a noise between a growl, a moan, and a gurgle that sounded like some strange 70's alien companion, Bruno began tearing at the strange substance on his skin.

This made him drop his axe, which he immediately scrambled to pick up. He looked outside, and saw a strange, floating white object. Looked like a face. A big, round, face. Bruno raised his axe and smashed the face, but there was some sort of wall of psychic energy. Or, perhaps, by his calculations, some sort of material or alloy superheated together with several other ingredients to create a brittle and transparent substance.

And it got in way of axe! He hit it again.

[LePouvantail]

Benny was still reclined in her seat with her bony feet up on the table. When the world went black and came back, she was in the same position, though now she was sitting in a cockpit, and her heels unwittingly hit some controls. It only took one good jolt for her to quickly right herself. Instinctively, she started messing with the controls, trying to figure out how to work them and more importantly, if she could get the world to stop shaking for five minutes.

She got a glance of the big sphere ahead, and immediately put together what was going on.

"Oh, bones! That's no moon!"

Another moment of fiddling with the controls, before giving them up as a lost cause. Right then, it seemed, Zhou decided to make introductions. Benny turned her head completely around and grinned, not that she was really capable of any other expression.

"Benny Bones," she said, reaching a hand back to shake, "medical cadaver, part-time Halloween prop, world's greatest weight-loss champ, and---hey. Hey!"

She quickly turned to Bruno, who was trying to hack at the window.

"Don't do that! Lots of pressure plus puncture equals bad!"

[ProPro]

@LePouvantail@Stekkmen@Stern Algorithm

Bruno's second swipe with the axe bounced harmlessly off the see-through surface, causing no damage beyond a bit of a scuff. If he were to keep trying, he would eventually get somewhere. Meanwhile, the object outside the viewing window, the moon, continued to grow larger and larger as the team was drawn in closer. Two objects flew by as well, headed directly for the moon. They each resembled a large orb, connected to two flat semi-square sheets of metal by two axels. Ships of some manner, and within a few seconds they had disappeared from sight, landing somewhere in the big sphere.

[Stern Algorithm]

"Not a moon?" Zhou Yu asked in response to Benny's exclamation, "What is it then?"

Just then the large undead axe man swung his axe, bouncing it off a transparent surface. "Whoa there, friend, calm down," Zhou Yu said, looking Bruno up and down, trying to figure out what was bothering him, "Does the fur bother you?" While waiting for a response, he examined the transparent surface, noting reflections and refractions, properties like ice and water, whereas tapping it reminded him of porcelain. Interesting material. Looking down he could see absolutely no ground beneath their metal house. Zhou Yu looked up, smiling, choosing to ignore that little tidbit of information.

Then two things flew overhead, perhaps little metal houses as well, though their shape made him think of chariots. They seemed to be heading toward the moon, which seemed bigger than before. Benny seemed to be struggling with the strange table in front of them full of instruments. Perhaps investigating their surroundings was a good idea. Zhou Yu noticed the handle dangling from his belt and picked it up, fiddling with it, staring down the hole at one end. Fortunately, he happens to turn it away from his face when he flipped the switch. Unfortunately, the penetrating shaft of blue light that came forth from the handle cut a dangling tube that started to slowly hiss out a gentle stream of steam.

[ProPro]

After a moment of appearing to be some sort of blade composed of blue light, the object in Zhou's hands flickered, then died. Half a second later, confetti fired from the end, draping the cockpit all around. Hidden within the confetti was a small paper note that, if found, would read: You didn't think I was making it that easy, did ya? :D

[AwesomeZero5]

In a meadow far out into the French country side was a small cave. The entrance was mostly hidden by a bunch of plants and weeds that had grown from the last season or so. The cave itself was fairly quiet as it only had one known occupant inside, except for perhaps some random bugs and other creatures that managed to scurry in and out of the area. There was not much else to note about this particular cave except for some bowls with bones inside, odd looking utensils and embalming tools, and the remains of ancient candles.

Bondi, had started its day and life in general inside this cave. That is to say this purple ooze like creature did what it normally did at the start of the day. It practiced bouncing to see how high it could leap up today! In the process of bouncing up and down the horned skull it wore would move up and down on its blob like form! While its only other possession, a big red bow remained at the creatures center, practically stuck in the position. Bondi did occasionally try to scrape the walls with the horns to mark how high it had lost jumped, but it was often difficult to notice. Its greatest record could have been anywhere between 30 centimeters and 60!

In the process of bouncing up and down. Bondi wondered if it should venture outside the cave again today, its birthplace of sorts. Going outside to play games depended on whether or not it looked like it was going to rain and hopefully it wouldn't.

[Stekkmen]

The big white face grew closer, taunting him. It called him fur skin, at least, Bruno thought it did. Worse than the dungeon explorer! Worse! Bruno hated the big white face.

He hefted his axe once again, grunting with the effort, and slammed it into the glass again. The face was just behind it, pressed right up against it. As soon as he broke the glass, it would be easy.

Meanwhile, his skeleton comrade seemed to be getting riled up about something. Supporting him in his efforts, obviously. He struck the glass once more with his mighty axe!

[LePouvantail]

"Yeah, if I've got my sci-fi right, that's a space-station."

Benny once more tried the controls, pushing buttons and turning levers. A fruitless effort, but it gave her a small sense of control. She jumped in her seat from the bang of confetti.

"Yeesh! Heartbeat check---yep, still gone, but death doesn't make you immune to loud noises."

Benny turned back to Bruno, abandoning the controls as she grabbed his arm to hold it back, not that her frame would do much good.

"No, no, no! Save it for the battle, big guy!"

[ProPro]

@AwesomeZero5

Bondi's playful jumping came to a bizarre end when the little slime jumped up... But didn't come back down. It still felt the rush of air, as though it were falling, and still saw the cave wall in front of it, but nothing was actually moving. A quick look down would tell Bondi everything it needed to know, or at least enough. Below the little slime had appeared a large fan, the kind used for indoor skydiving, which kept the slime creature held aloft.

"Hello Bondi la Vie!" spoke a cheerful, almost vulpine voice. It had come from somewhere above Bondi. Somewhere right above Bondi. The little slime's bow hopped off of its head, floating in front of Bondi, now inexplicably with an enormous afro. "Hiya! Sorry I don't have time to give you the same introduction as the others (well actually I do because I'm a god that can stop all time but I'm not speaking for me but the 26 year old office monkey that controls my actions) so instead take my card!"

The afro'd bow slid a paper card inside of Bondi, which near instantly broke down and was absorbed by the slime's body. As it did so, Bondi was given new memories of a fancy French restaurant, three other figures, the god that gave them their task, the stars in the sky, and finally...

---

@LePouvantail@Stekkmen@Stern Algorithm

Suddenly Bondi appeared aboard the bridge of the Millennium Falcon, about seven feet up in the air. The ship's artificial gravity pulled the slime creature straight down, amidst all the confetti and the others in the group. Bondi's bow was back in place, and now had a strange blue and white design. Bondi wouldn't have much time for introductions, however. The large sphere outside of the window was looming every closer, and now there was nothing else that could be seen.

The battle station, as Benny put it, could be seen in greater detail now, and it was enormous. Various towers stood on the surface of the thing, as well as what appeared to be large cannons. Lights flickered to and fro, while a teeny tiny opening could be spotted in the distance that was only growing larger. It became apparent to all on board, even Bruno, that they were being pulled into that hole.

[Stekkmen]

Bruno was confused. The big white face was only sucking them further in, protected by the glass infront of them. His undead compatriot was grabbing him by the arm, an obvious motion of "stop doing what you are doing". But at the same time, the skeleton was saying one of the few words Bruno recognized: "battle". So what was it? Battle? Or stop?

...Well, Bruno knew he wasn't that clever. So perhaps, the skeleton had a plan. Maybe, they were to let the face suck them in, and then kill it from the inside!

Bruno did a double take.

Face?
That wasn't a face.
What was he thinking about a face?
That's stupid.

He wasn't sure what it was, but now that it was closer, even Bruno could tell that it wasn't a giant axeable face. Bruno made a noise of confusion and let the skeleton person pull him back down into his seat. He only had access to so many synapses a minute, after all.

[AwesomeZero5]

Bondi was definitely caught by surprise by the sudden rush of air that was holding it up. It was really interesting and perhaps even a little fun really although it remained quite oblivious as to what was causing it. Bondi had chosen not to look down toward whatever was keeping it aloft but instead looked slightly upward. As its bow had somehow began talking all of a sudden, and it also managed to have hair as well. “Hi!” it would quickly and excitedly return the greeting. “others?” Bondi seemed to tilt its head of sorts before having a card slipped inside of it which was quickly broken down.

Dozens of memories and images were quickly passed through its mind of sorts. Not all of them were fully analyzed by the point that it randomly appeared on board the bridge of the Millennium Falcon. It had very little time to react outside letting out a small “Eep!” before falling down toward the floor. It would immediately splat and spread across the floor for a few moments and its skull perhaps clank against the floor. It would take a minute or two to rather pull itself back together, taking a bit longer than a few
seconds because of the sudden surprise of the situation.

It was not able to notice much about those around it, or that the ship was coming closer to something quite yet. It might be noticed as a bit of a puddle spreading across the floor that’s sucking itself back together.

[Stern Algorithm]

"Oh Heavens!" Zhou Yu cried out when the blade of light sliced open a pipe and then exploded in confetti. Looking down, he noticed Bondi puddling. "Some strange liquid seems to have come out of this tube," Zhou Yu said off-handedly while he read the cryptic note that had come with the confetti. Zhou started when Bruno made another attempt at the glass, and was glad to see Benny succeed in calming the hulking undead axeman.

"A 'space' 'station', you say. Like a sort of...castle in the Heavens? It's massive! And it would seem our metal house and those chariot things earlier are all headed towards it. But if it is a castle, then there is sure to be nobility, and as a man of rank, you should let me handle interactions when they come to greet us. If they are men of honor, they will treat us with hospitality, maybe even answer some of our questions."

[LePouvantail]

While her face was permanently grinning, Benny's posture showed her relief when Bruno settled down.

"That's right, big guy," she said, patting his arm assuredly. "Save it for the Storm Soldiers, or Starship Troopers, or whatever they're called."

She then turned to see what Zhou was shouting about, then looked down at the floor.

"Okay, my memory's fuzzy on some stuff, but I'm pretty sure it's not supposed to do that."

She glanced up at Zhou, ignoring the strange splotch on the ground for a moment.

"Er...yeah, we'll go with that," she said, nodding to his understanding of the space station.

She went silent for a moment. Sure, she was blanking a bit on the proper term for the white-armored soldiers, but Darth Vader was pretty well-known in her world, and that he probably wouldn't be too kind to passengers of the Millennium Falcon.

"Uh...sure," she said, more than happy to let him do the talking, "but our mission is to rescue the princess, so...best to be on guard."

Movement caught her eye socket from below, and Benny looked down to the puddle, which was gathering back into itself and gaining shape.

"Oh, don't tell me this is a Flubber crossover too!"

[ProPro]

The Millennium Falcon drew ever closer to the space station Death Star, now closing the gap between itself and the large rectangular opening the crew was being drawn toward. Their movement became noticeably slower, more precise, as they entered what could only be described as a dock for space ships. Out the window the four could make out two kinds of people. The first looked more dangerous, covered completely head to toe in some kind of semi-reflective white armor, holding black metal rifles. The second, far less numerous, appeared to be normal people wearing officers uniforms of a dark green and naval caps. Their chest had various colored pins over the heart-side of their breast, presumably to denote some kind of importance like rank. The green-clad officers gave orders to the white-armored grunts, and a squad of the soldiers gathered together, rifles at the ready.

The ship would only be moving for another ten second or so before it came to a complete stop. After that...

@LePouvantail@Stern Algorithm@AwesomeZero5@Stekkmen

[Stekkmen]

It was time.

The time for war has arrived.
When Bruno saw the people, several connections were made in his head. Were these connections logical? Based on reasonable assumptions? Probably not. But he saw what anyone would be able to recognize as an army, and they had forced him to come to their sphere of doom. There was only ONE solution for this. And it involved, most predominately, the blade of his axe. He stood from his seat and gripped his axe. There was a sense of clarity in his mind. He walked past his comrades, over the strange slime thing, and walked determinedly to his destiny.

Due to the shape of the ship, he quickly ended up back where he started. This didn't seem to wane his determination though, as he continued to walk forward, holding his axe. He made a second pass after a short while.

Meanwhile, Bruno was thinking about how much larger the ship was than he originally thought.

[AwesomeZero5]

Bondi slowly but surely had pulled itself back together from the puddle on the floor. It was now a more round form of slime that was tilting itself this way and that in order to test its balance. The skull that was on top of its ‘head’ would seem to likely move and lean about with it and it takes a few moments to seemingly readjust itself. Before turning to look at the rest of the crew or the rest of those that were upon the ship rather excitedly. It was doubtful that they would notice such an expression of excitement at this type of odd ‘game’ if it weren’t for the fact that Bondi was practically bouncing up and down.

It remained rather oblivious to the people outside the ship at the moment. It had barely had the time to look at the crew members on board rather than those who were outside of the ship. “Hiii!” Bondi would practically shout but was mostly interrupted by Bruno walking over or past it, carrying an axe. Did they need to chop down a tree for fire wood? Bondi pondered, and thought about how it would rather avoid the fire with a bit of a shiver flowing through out its gel like form.

[Stern Algorithm]

Zhou Yu looked out the window as the Falcon got sucked into the Death Star. He scrutinized the Imperial Forces, looking for potential weaknesses of personality or discipline that he could exploit. Bruno suddenly got up in arms and paced out of the control room. "Whoa there, big man, let's not be too hasty," Zhou Yu said, but Bruno simply marched away, only to return again and again. Out of curiosity, Zhou Yu followed Bruno around the circular interior of the Falcon only to return to the control room. "It appears that our axeman isn't very bright," Zhou Yu declared to Benny. It wasn't really much of an issue, sometimes, a dumb general was more useful than a smart one. "By the way, you did a terrific job getting this house to settle down inside this...castle," he added, assuming Benny had successfully steered the Falcon into the hangar. He went back around the interior again and saw what could potentially be an exit. he was starting to get the sense that everything in this 'world' worked by way of 'buttons', and looked for one to press that might open the door to the outside.

[LePouvantail]

Benny let Bruno go, more intrigued with the slime thing that she assumed came from Zhou's lightsaber. It formed into a ball and bounced and jiggled. Weird, but she should expect this from the God of Chaos, shouldn't she? It made a noise as Bruno stepped over it, though the axeman's heavy footfall diminished a lot of it.

As Zhou left to follow Bruno, she got out of her seat. The slimy thing shivered. She crouched down to better be at its level.

"...What are you?"

Benny carefully reached one long, bony finger to poke it. Might as well be her; if it was toxic, she had nothing to worry about, and since it hadn't melted through the floor and "wore" a skull, she assumed it wasn't acidic.

When Zhou came back, she looked up, just gave him her permanent grin.

"Took you this long to notice?" she said, cheerfully, regarding Bruno.

She hesitated as he gave her credit for the landing.

We'll go with that, she thought, and not that this thing's stuck on autopilot.

"Lucky bone," she said with a shrug. "Never leave home without it."