But yeah, I do. Currently planning on doing a draconid with that image I showed you. Taking a while due to college tests... but 'll have the CSS done by tomorrow (maybe even today if I'm not tired after I finish studying)
@13org So there are a great many issues with your character sheet, most of which seem to suggest that you haven't really read the first post particularly well.
1. Draconids have human names, not fancy dragon-like names. And they certainly wouldn't be named for their knowledge as a newborn child. 2. Regarding the above, he could be seventy two years old. He most certainly could not have been born a Draconid if he is that old. Basic chimera production wasn't even figured out until the 2030s, and dragon fossils weren't discovered until several years after that. Also, don't just declare how long "Draconid years" are compared to human years. That's not for you to decide. 3. So I'm cool with him being a mage. Being way stronger than is typical? No. The vast majority of mages, which are already very rare, ae still at or slightly above street tier in terms of power output, and any mage with the power to bring down, say, an entire block of buildings is already in the top 1% of all mages easily; the sort of energy output you've described him as having, with enough power to disintegrate everything within 50m and negatively affect an entire, reasonably large country, puts him at literally the top spot, without equal save for maybe the Lord of Silence and what few other city busting mages existed in the past, which is absolutely unacceptable as far as character creation goes. Especially it being "too much for a living being to handle". That's not how it works. 3.1. By the way, magic wasn't known to the masses until fifteen-odd years ago. Aside from anything else, he'd have to be part of the Ordo Obscurum to do any magical research, at least until that disintegrated. 3.2. Again with the soul thing! I explained this before with Banana's first character, and I'd rather not repeat myself. 4. Nanotubes weren't even discovered until some time in the 20th century. How the hell did an ancient civilisation figure out how to make molecules that require very high-tech methods to produce nowadays, and if they knew how to do it, how did they lose it? A civilisation like that ought to have had an absurd technological advantage over their peers; it'd be like the Assyrians, who had iron weaponry where most other civilisations at the time were still stuck with bronze, except way more exaggerated. Like, if the Assyrians brought a gun to a knife fight, this ancient civilisation would be equipped with the equivalent of rapid-fire nuclear missile launchers. And since when would ANY Middle-Eastern civilisation create a katana? 5. If the sword abruptly gains a will of its own, having had none before, there's no reason why it'd automatically be hostile to the person who actually imbued said will upon it. If anything, I'd propose that the sword would be slaved to the owner's will, since at that stage, it'd be like a newborn baby more than anything else. But none of that really matters anyway, because an inanimate object with no brain is not going to abruptly gain a mind of its own, and certainly not in that fashion, mostly because... 5.1. Physical matter has no inherent magical properties unless specifically enchanted. I don't necessarily fault you for not knowing that, but it isn't naturally magical, hence all the clarifications about what restrictions magic has in the intro post. 6. The whole idea that he has so much magic that he could explode at any moment. It does not work like that. Not unless somebody actively cursed him to store magic to a critical level in a way he couldn't access before forcibly detonating it all, but... 7. And a variety of other errors that at this point I can't say I need to go over in detail, primarily the HUGE number of errors in spelling, punctuation, grammar, and terminology, e.g. repeated mislabelling of Draconids as "draconic". I know it's the Casual forum, but at least aim for smart casual, not street casual.
The point I'm making is, despite the effort you obviously put in, it's the same situation as Banana's initial character, in that you might as well come up with a new character outright for the amount of stuff you'd need to change to make this one work. And a lot of that is caused by you missing points that were very clearly described in the first post. So, no, Jör isn't accepted.
Aight ill do another one. I swear that i didn't paid attention to the plot and all those things XD I just started writing Its a bad habit... sometimes I just keep writing... on automatic y'know? Also, wootz steel is an actual material. its not fantasy
@13org ...you are not wrong about Wootz steel existing in real life. Shame on me for not factchecking. I will say, however, that Wootz steel actually contains various metal carbides, not carbon nanotubes in particular, and that the process has not only been replicated many times as of 2016 and even before the 21st century, but would likely have been improved upon through use of magic and/or modern technology as of 2041. Hell, maybe swords made of or containing carbon nanotubes do exist as of then. That said, everything else I brought up does apply, and I highly encourage you to change the style in which you write your characters to avoid future disappointment.
@Banana Solaris has a few hangups with your sheet that he'll go over in detail with you later on. Generally speaking, though, the mechanics of helicopter tentacles make it simpler to just give Octo a jetpack, and there's no good reason at the moment why the scientists would let him go after having experimented on him to achieve those results, especially if the time he was released was during or shortly after the Uprising/Insurrection, when soldiers were most needed on both sides.
@Banana: Basically, what BC said. I have two main problems with your character.
1. No matter how I think about it, I don't think the helicopter tentacles are feasible at all. For starters, they come out of Grover's back arranged in a vertical fashion, while helicopter rotors are horizontal; he'd have to awkwardly bend his whole upper body 90 degrees forward if he wants to have any chance of flying. And then there's the matter of freely rotating joints, which might've been somewhat difficult to install. Finally, each helicopter rotor blade is thin and lightweight, not at all like thick cybernetic tentacles; the tentacles have too much mass to simply transform into helicopter rotors. Overall, as BC said, it's honestly much, much easier to just give your guy a jetpack if he wants to fly, and there's no real reason why the scientists didn't just do that instead of trying to make the tentacles work as helicopter rotors.
2. There's no reason why the scientists would just let Grover go free after finishing the experiments, since he's now an individual empowered with dangerous new abilities. At the very least, they'd want to keep an eye on him, if not outright have him serve in their military and what not. Maybe one of the other test subjects went berserk and destroyed the whole facility, allowing Grover to slip away in the confusion; he could've then laid low for a while as said in the profile. Or you could think of something else; there just has to be some reason why he got free after the experiment.
3. Didn't we go over how severely underpowered an M1911 would be in this day and age? The standard army pistol nowadays would be some kind of miniature railgun with significantly more power than modern pistols, or maybe even a plasma blaster. Not a pistol that would almost certainly fail to penetrate even decently well-armored cyborgs and chimeras.
@JohnSolaris@BCTheEntity I'm just gonna leave. I don't feel like my character ideas are good enough now. Not mad or anything, I just don't feel like I'm gonna be good in this whole scenario.
Sooorrryyy for the delay. I have tests in the college this week, so things are a little tough for me, plus i'm very tired from studying the entire day...
i'll have my CSS done by tomorrow.
That is... if I can find a good draconian image by tomorrow... For some odd reason is very hard to find them...
