Ways to get Kicked Out of Walmart

[PillowSniffer]

@LeavesGuess that's the ultimate way to get kicked out of anything and everything...

Going in checkout or a crowded aisle and start screaming "The voices...THE VOICES ARE COMING BACK!" or if you're in the middle of line "OH NO! NOT DIARRHEA! NOT NOW!" and run around spraying fake (or real...) diarrhea on people.

[Sanctus Spooki]

... So the act of running around without pants/with your pants down isn't what gets you kicked out?

On the subject of nudity: Doing the helicopter dick as you strut through the aisles.

[PillowSniffer]

xD Well at least sh*ting on people could be the cherry on top...

Fill the kiddy pool and add live fish. Slap people with the fish. Then eat the fish and attempt to drown in the pool.

[Sanctus Spooki]

... why are all your methods not enough, or far too much?

[PillowSniffer]

@Sanctus Spooki -slaps with fish-

[Leaves]

Criticizing other customer's or employee's actions.

[ArenaSnow]

'Accidentally' fall into shelves.

Head to the meat department, stand totally still, and fling meat at people the moment they walk by, and yell "YOU KILLED MY FATHER! PREPARE TO DIE!".

Same as above, but demolish their carts with hammers.

The moment someone lets go of a cart, steal it. Run like hell if you have to.

Mix up the items on the shelves Never mind, that's normal for employees in my neighborhood walmart.

Use movies as frisbees.

'Sneak up' on cameras and smash them. Bonus points for looking sneaky and approaching in a mostly straight line.

Start putting on all the clothes you can get your hands on, especially the lingerie, and just start flinging everything you can't wear around.

Good old stalking, bonus points for being conspicuous.

Badly try and steal jewelry.

[ClocktowerEchos]

Getting enough people to put two per cart (one in the cart and one pushing) and go around trying to preform NASCAR. Bonus points if you also do dramatic voice overs and sound effects.

[AlteredTundra]

Hide in the clothing section inside of the clothes racks and when someone walks by, whisper "Pick me, pick me!"

[PillowSniffer]

Go up to everyone and say "There is something on your face." Punch them. "IT WAS PAIN!"

[Todd Howard]

Squeeze out countless bottles of bodywash onto the floor and then belly slide down the isle hoping to collide with someone's shopping cart as they are passing by.

[ChocoWaifu]

Indoor Lube Luge

[Leaves]

Stand next to the Wal-Mart greeter (extra points if the individual is an elderly) and try to greet competitively by being louder and faster.

[Sanctus Spooki]

KNit your blankets/sweaters/socks etc from inside the store, then place the handmade clothing on the clothes-racks with the price for the yarn still atttached. Not only have you been removed from Walmart, you have actually benefitted the consumers who shop there by providing affordable clothing.

[PillowSniffer]

Go on the intercom and start swearing. Try to become friends with any employees that you see.

[ArenaSnow]

Climb into a washer/drier/refrigerator and

a) wait for someone to open it up and move it

or

b) wait for someone to pass by

And pop out and scare the shit outta them. Preferably with a loud, catchy catchphrase >.>

Enter in full combat cosplay uniform, bang your foam sword on your foam shield, and yell "I AM THE KNIGHT OF FRED MEYERS! I WILL SLAY YOUR DRAGON KING OF WALMART! YAAAAA!", charge towards the manager's office and attempt to outfight any security along the way.
^ bonus points for recruiting 3+ little kids to join the initial charge and try to fight any walmart employee along the way.

Trip a walmart employee when another customer is walking by and scream "SHE DID IT!" bonus points for elder employee, female passerby (I dunno, and really, it doesn't even matter, just stick with the pronoun whatever you get) and waving a hammer as you make your accusations.

[PillowSniffer]

Eat everything...even the electronics...and the people.

Along the same lines: Stay in one place. Don't move. Ever. Just stay there.

[PillowSniffer]

Buy a $2 item and pay for it all in pennies. Lose count at least two times, and come up a few short.

[Briza]

Soliciting candy to unsupervised kinder.

[Leaves]

Wear a Wall-Mart vest and act like a greeter. Stay motionless at the front door with no eye contact. When someone passes you, say "Go fuck yourself," in a very monotone voice.