Ways to get Kicked Out of Walmart

[Foster]

Go to walmart with a picket sign in a foriegn language.

[Sugar and Spite]

So, true story folks.

I was out of town for the weekend with a friend. We got bored. We decided to trash Wal-Mart.

First, we went to the posters. Got some tape. Hung up in random places all over the store. Then we annoyed the crap out of the lady at the dressing rooms by grabbing arm-fulls of stuff and throwing them from stall to stall, as well as passing customers. Then we ran around wildly screaming about the Apocolypse. We then made a fort out of toilet paper and such, packing it full of canned goods, clothing, etc. When asked what we had done that for, we told them that we were preparing for the zombie apocalypse. All of the employee ls were pissed at us. Security was called. They let us off with a very major scolding after we promised to clean up. Instead of fulfilling that promise, we walked right out of the store. That's the story of how 14 year old me got kicked out of Wal-Mart

I also enjoy going in stores and switching the price tags around. And when I'm in grocery stores, I go to the canned food isle and just take my arm and knocking as many off the shelf as I can in one big swipe.

Mind you, don't do any of this stuff at your local stores, kiddos. Be smart. Don't be like Haley.

[Foster]

Mind you, don't do any of this stuff at your local stores, kiddos. Be smart. Don't be like Haley.

@HaleyTheRandom

Being something you did when 14, I suspect you did this at a local store.

and someone recognized you... 5 years later...

[Sugar and Spite]

<Snipped quote by HaleyTheRandom>

Being something you did when 14, I suspect you did this at a local store.

and someone recognized you... 5 years later...

@Foster

Lol. I did it at Myrtle Beach. Never been back.

But... it hasn't been five years since then....

[PillowSniffer]

Set off a Rube Goldberg machine made from merchandise resulting in the fire sprinklers going off.

[ArenaSnow]

Buy a computer and pay for that in pennies. Bonus for loading trucks and gallon size water bottles being the containers. Intentionally have very poor grammar, apologize profusely often, and wear dentures that keep falling out, conveniently into your neat, carefully made stacks of pennies.

[Majoraa]

Get a friend to fake a murder with costume blood and a kitchen knife.

[AngelofOctober]

Wait you can get kicked out of Walmart?

But seriously;

Start talking about the end times and how toast will reign down upon everyone with fiery crumbs of hell that crash unto Earth the size of meteors. Preferably after at least dumping a bottle of alcohol on yourself like a lifetime supply of Axe, but cheap cheap alcohol.

[Foster]

Grab a broom, and a tall pointy hat, head for teh restroom (or any entrance to anything, really).

YOOOOOOOu SHALLL NOT PAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSS!

Hang about $400 worth of fidget-spinners from your body, flip out any time someone touches them.

Show up with a pet bovine.

[ArenaSnow]

Bring in a box of rats, scream "YOU ARE FREE NOW, MY FRIENDS" and throw the box at the first open register.

Scream about bombs, north korea, the border wall, racists, or all of them.

Show up in a dominatrix suit with a whip and terrify the shit out of the nearest new employee.

[Majoraa]

Grab one of the cashier's checkout microphones and yell into the intercom,

"MAMA SÍTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-"

[AngelofOctober]

Take a child, stand on a cart, and begin to play a circle of life, attempt to then mark the child with a marker of some sort preferable from the store

[ArenaSnow]

A backpack and rice. Lots and lots of rice.

Distribute carefully across the entryway. The initial sprawl is critical. >.>

[Majoraa]

A backpack and rice. Lots and lots of rice.

Distribute carefully across the entryway. The initial sprawl is critical. >.>

@ArenaSnow

Bonus points from me if you grab a bunch of paint and splash it on the rice.

[AngelofOctober]

Having a wedding in the garden center of Walmart without permission with preferably a picture of someone or just a stuffed toy as the groom

[ArenaSnow]

Having a wedding in the garden center of Walmart without permission with preferably a picture of someone or just a stuffed toy as the groom

@AngelofOctober

A sex doll.

[AngelofOctober]

<Snipped quote by AngelofOctober>

A sex doll.

@ArenaSnow

That's too obvious

[PillowSniffer]

Insist on buying every medicine they have, even the prescription drugs.

[AlteredTundra]

Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from Mission Impossible.

[ArenaSnow]

Drag @Vilageidiotx into the store, that should be sufficient.