[OOC] Avatar: The Legend of Rosai

[pandapolio]

@AngelofOctober Omg it is beautiful.....

[AngelofOctober]

@pandapolio

No I am sorry. I got a little carried away with the history. I always end up doing so. I promise myself short and sweet. And then I end up creating these monstrous things. And I'm like "could have made this very simple and I didn't"

[candlelitcraft]

@angelofoctober Wow, I’m amazed at how much background you wrote. I can tell how connected you are to the character

Also I think it’s kinda funny that Konna and Zoze have the same heritage and opposite bending situations.

[AngelofOctober]

@candlelitcraft

I got really excited. Sometimes when I am really into it I just write like crazy.

[Regitnui]

@AngelofOctober, would have expected more broad strokes and less dialogue, but that's fairly comprehensive. I guess we're getting a family reunion during the time we're in Republic City.

[AngelofOctober]

@AngelofOctober, would have expected more broad strokes and less dialogue, but that's fairly comprehensive. I guess we're getting a family reunion during the time we're in Republic City.

@Regitnui

What do you mean broad strokes?

[Regitnui]

@AngelofOctober:
• Born in Republic City, parents died, ran away.
• Adopted by Earth Kingdom couple, inherited the farm
• Has a prize-winning pig-cow.

Broad strokes. Don't go changing it. I appreciate the depth and effort you put in. That's just an example of broad strokes.

Is it just me, or is everyone aiming for the youngest possible age? Would we be dealing with preteens if I had opened up the age range a little more?

[Neo Is Delight]

@AngelofOctober:
• Born in Republic City, parents died, ran away.
• Adopted by Earth Kingdom couple, inherited the farm
• Has a prize-winning pig-cow.

Broad strokes. Don't go changing it. I appreciate the depth and effort you put in. That's just an example of broad strokes.

Is it just me, or is everyone aiming for the youngest possible age? Would we be dealing with preteens if I had opened up the age range a little more?

@Regitnui

If it were possible I would have made a loli. ;p

[AngelofOctober]

@AngelofOctober:
• Born in Republic City, parents died, ran away.
• Adopted by Earth Kingdom couple, inherited the farm
• Has a prize-winning pig-cow.

Broad strokes. Don't go changing it. I appreciate the depth and effort you put in. That's just an example of broad strokes.

Is it just me, or is everyone aiming for the youngest possible age? Would we be dealing with preteens if I had opened up the age range a little more?

@Regitnui

He also went to Earth Bending School

Sold necklaces to make a living

Lived on the streets for a while before he was adopted

[Regitnui]

@Neo Is Delight *looks at you, then drops head to desk* Not going to say there's no precedent for bending toddlers, but the tone of the RPG is young adults getting thrown together. I suppose you could have a character who's short and older than they look.

[Regitnui]

@AngelofOctober, you asked what broad strokes were, and there they are. I didn't include Rosai's failure to learn how to swim, the time she pinned a boy from another tribe in a fair fight and thereby discovered why her mother told her boys couldn't control themselves, or how she drank cactus juice, tied two sticks to her head and ended up declaring herself Queen of the Jackalopes

It's good you have all of that. It's plenty of ammunition for the plot.

[AngelofOctober]

@Neo Is Delight *looks at you, then drops head to desk* Not going to say there's no precedent for bending toddlers, but the tone of the RPG is young adults getting thrown together. I suppose you could have a character who's short and older than they look.

@Regitnui

My character is 19. How does that qualify as young? Beyond the fact that there that Toph was 12 in the show, as well as Aang. Katara was 14 and Sokka is 15.

I think we significantly boosted the ages.

[Neo Is Delight]

@Regitnui

@Neo Is Delight *looks at you, then drops head to desk* Not going to say there's no precedent for bending toddlers, but the tone of the RPG is young adults getting thrown together. I suppose you could have a character who's short and older than they look.

@Regitnui

I believe Chuntao is the only character not fitting the description of 'young adult' in the cast.

Secondly, that was a joke. But, even if I was serious, a loli is not necessarily a toddler, so jumping to that conclusion, and lecturing me that it's unfitting to the tone, is a bit uncalled for.

[pandapolio]

Ha can't call my character young, I'm almost double the age of everyone else in the party.

[AngelofOctober]

@AngelofOctober, you asked what broad strokes were, and there they are. I didn't include Rosai's failure to learn how to swim, the time she pinned a boy from another tribe in a fair fight and thereby discovered why her mother told her boys couldn't control themselves, or how she drank cactus juice, tied two sticks to her head and ended up declaring herself Queen of the Jackalopes

It's good you have all of that. It's plenty of ammunition for the plot.

@Regitnui

-Learning to make necklaces is the answer to How he survived without help at first, that's actually a board stroke

-Going to Earth Bending school is the answer to How he continued his training, that's actually a broad stroke

When writing any history or IC post, you have to answer the common questions they give you in language arts, who, what, why, when, where, and how.

I wrote my history to go into depth of all of those questions so no one was scratching their head going, what, how. How did he survive? By selling necklaces and taking odd jobs. Why did he do this? Because he use to work in his mother's shop.

Good writing isn't about Telling the Audience what is up. It's about Showing the Audience. And the Audience being able to infer from the clues in the writing and put the dots together themselves.

[Regitnui]

@AngelofOctober@Neo Is Delight That was all very tongue-in-cheek. I'm aware what a loli is and don't think for a second I don't love the characters we're getting. I've been impressed. It was just a note than we have a lot of characters (so far) younger than Rosai, who's in the middle of the age range. I apologise if you think I was insulting your creativity.

@pandapolio I'll get to you later.

@AngelofOctober, I'm an editor for a newspaper. I more often than not have to cut articles down to the core, relevant parts. There's a fine line between "relevant background" and "interesting background". In your case, you have a firebender who lives on a farm and sells wares in Ba Sing Se. That he sells and makes jewelry is relevant (why is he on the train to Ba Sing Se?). That he makes the jewelry by melting rocks he finds lying around is interesting but not relevant.

Broad strokes takes it down to the minimum. Even with your two more points, you have six lines of data, rather than a short story's worth. That's what broad strokes are. You asked, I gave, but your character is fine as is.

Also, none of what you wrote is "showing" the audience. The dialogue is, but as an editor I would have cut it out. I am not telling you you're wrong. You do the showing in the IC, if it becomes necessary. Flashbacks are your friend.

[pandapolio]

@Regitnui *cowers in fear preparing to get smited*

[AngelofOctober]

@AngelofOctober, I'm an editor for a newspaper. I more often than not have to cut articles down to the core, relevant parts. There's a fine line between "relevant background" and "interesting background". In your case, you have a firebender who lives on a farm and sells wares in Ba Sing Se. That he sells and makes jewelry is relevant (why is he on the train to Ba Sing Se?). That he makes the jewelry by melting rocks he finds lying around is interesting but not relevant.

Broad strokes takes it down to the minimum. Even with your two more points, you have six lines of data, rather than a short story's worth. That's what broad strokes are. You asked, I gave, but your character is fine as is.

Also, none of what you wrote is "showing" the audience. The dialogue is, but as an editor I would have cut it out. I am not telling you you're wrong. You do the showing in the IC, if it becomes necessary. Flashbacks are your friend.

@Regitnui

I tend to avoid flashbacks in IC. I come from RP and Writing background. As a GM I like a members whose history is clear. As you put it earlier, ammunition from the plot. The more given to a GM, the more they can draw later.

Writing creatively is nowhere near the same as editing for a newspaper which has different guidelines. I gave just enough information, I like to add quirks and details to the character to flesh them out. Is all the information relevant, No. But is all the information Relevant, Yes.

Little details even the ones that seem not relevant make a character feel like a person. Board strokes is a generalization and to me comes off as rather lazy writing.

edit-

Or what I should be saying is that core information is perfect for newspaper writing and articles. I would know as I have done journalism in the past myself. Not as an editor, but a writer. The requirements as a writer for journalism and creative writing are vastly different.

Journalism is about news, information, the meat and potatoes. That core board strokes you are talking about. I was confused as to why you would use it in a creative function outlet.

Creative Writing, especially RP. I take as loose character practice and story writing. It isn't just about core information. It's about creating a character who feels believable with both the core information, that is relevant. And fundamentally little information that isn't relevant to the story, but to the character to flesh them out as a human being.

[Neo Is Delight]

@Regitnui
I'll be honest, I have no clue what your issue is with the ages. They're all young adults, except one character. Who cares if they're younger than the avatar? They're still in the same age range. So, complaining that they're all younger, is kind of meaningless, you didn't say "They have to be 22 or older" anywhere, so you can't really complain about it, especially while saying you love the characters submitted instead of asking people to raise the age. And if you have a problem with the current cast's ages, you should really be thanking Angel for talking me out of my original idea.

[Regitnui]

@Neo Is Delight, I'm not complaining about it, I remarked on it. I don't expect anyone to change their characters and I wouldn't ask you or anyone else to. The remark was supposed to be the same tone as "huh, a lot of characters thus far have odd bending styles" or "a lot of characters thus far have had a lot of effort put in to make them unique".