@Furiosa"Oh, no, I'm not homeless." Joseph said with a tired wave of his hand. "No, I'm a wanderer, like Kensh-... A wanderer."
He was significantly less worried about how late he'd been in cutting off his disgusting weeb-speak this time, mainly because his brain was having trouble regulating itself at this point.
When the guy reacted to his joke by saying the starvation was affecting his brain, he nodded, chuckling a little.
"Yeah... Yeah... It definitely is doing that..." He said with a sigh. "Not because I said that damned peacock was your boyfriend though, that was just because I thought your reaction might be funny. It's just that I'd normally never say it out loud, due to crippling social anxiety..."
As he spoke, he got into the car, nearly tripping as he stepped in.
This might be a bit more of an ordeal than he'd thought.
----
Joseph relaxed a bit as he sat down, giving a small chuckle as he looked up at the ceiling.
Looks like you won't be getting me this time, God!He looked back down when the man offered to order for the two of them, and introduced himself.
"Joseph Moore." He said, taking the hand and giving it an understandably weak shake. "'s nice to meet you, Ren."
Sighing, he sat back up, struggling slightly not to overcorrect himself and slump over the table. It wasn't long before Ren returned, quickly followed by what Joseph could only assume was a reward from God for besting him in their little contest yet again.
Feeling it would be rude to ignore such a gracious defeat, Joseph took a sandwich almost immediately, his hand moving at a blur from the speed.
Well, it was a blur to him. Yes, so was just about everything else that was moving even slightly, but he preferred to think it was just his superhuman speed.
One thing that
was somewhat superhuman was the fact that he damn near swallowed the thing whole, taking just two bites to finish it.
He blinked as Ren asked him what his story was, demolishing a second sandwich in the time it took him to ask.
"Well, its not that interesting, but if you really want to know, I guess I'd better start way back with my parents story." He said, wondering to himself if Ren might already be regretting asking. "So, when they met, dad was fourteen and mom was fifteen. She'd just snuck out of her parents mansion again, because apparently she did that quite often, and she'd found herself surrounded by your everyday, generic thug-type characters. That was when dad, a poor kid with an abusive mom and a dad he'd never met showed up. Apparently, he was a bit wierd back then, but still a good kid, and ran out to try and defend her. It took less than a minute for them to beat him up."
He sighed, staring out the window at nothing in particular, as a small smile appeared on his face.
"As it turns out, being the only child of two of the richest people in America had its perks, and she'd taken classes in about half of the forms of martial arts under the sun. Dad always used to say how beautiful she looked when she broke the leaders legs... Anyway, she grabbed him and they escaped together, and they became practically inseparable. Moms parents always seemed to approve of him outwardly, but they said it never seemed genuine, like there was always resentment just below the surface. Dads mom, on the other had, didn't even care, preferring it when he was gone. Either way, they both began to feel differently about each other around a year and a half into their friendship, even though they've both told me it started a lot earlier than that, but neither of them really realised the extent of it until then. After keeping it quiet for a few more months, they finally confessed, and it was apparently adorable. Then they went to tell Grandma and Grandpa, and that's where things went to shit."
Pausing for a moment, he grabbed a croissant, and he wasn't sure if it was because his mind was in story mode or not, but he swore he heard the sound of a wood chipper when it entered his mouth.
"Anyway, Gramps got real grumpy, rejecting it immediately, and Grandma apparently didn't seem to pleased with it herself. So they made the stupidest decision they'd ever made, which I can tell you now is
quite an achievement, and ran away to Canada to elope. They changed their identities and everything. That's where I come in, with the two of them still only eighteen and nineteen. And despite their ages, and their wierd personalities, they were somehow the best parents I could imagine having. I was pretty shy and withdrawn, but things were good when they were around. That was until my only two friends moved away, and I pretty much withdrew completely to anime and my writing. Still things weren't bad, and they were always supportive."
And then his smile turned to a small frown.
"And then they died. Car crash. This left the socially defunct idiot that was sixteen year old Joseph by himself, with a less than stellar mental state, crapping his pants over the possibility of being taken to grandparents who most likely resented him because of his father. Seeing this as a decidedly bad option, I decided to run away before the government could come and take me, and I've been homele-
WANDERING... ever since. I'd probably have to save
those stories for another time though, because most of them are unbelievable, and I've been talking longer than most people can pretend to care..."
He grabbed another sandwich, his appetite having calmed down enough to eat it somewhat normally, and took a bite.
"Well, now that I'm finally done, what about you? I bet you've got a pretty interesting story with your fancy clothes and flamboyantly dressed admirers..."