Make a wish, corrupt a wish.

[Carlyle]

Granted, but now your car has the qualities of a turtle.

I wish I had an idea of what to wish for.

[Quote5]

Your wish is granted, however, it will be corrupted by the next person that posts.

I wish car insurance wasn't so darn expensive.

[Lugia]

Granted, now it costs slightly less... and covers nothing, and it's illegal to drive without car insurance. Have fun with your new literal money sink.

I wish to always guess everything correctly.

[Lacroix]

Granted, however due to a wide argument involving a car-driving turtle "Everything" has now exchanged meanings with "Nothing"

I wish for a hermit crab.

[Quote5]

Granted, now it costs slightly less... and covers nothing, and it's illegal to drive without car insurance. Have fun with your new literal money sink.

@Lugia

Oh, so I'm living in America. Which is what I was doing already.

Back on topic...

Your wish is granted. Your hermit crab is huge. Like, big rig huge. It eats you.

I wish to not have scoliosis.

[Salroka]

Granted. Your spine is now straight. However, the car-stealing turtle smashes into you as you cross the street one day. You are now paralyzed from the waist down.

I wish someone would arrest that turtle.

[Majoraa]

Granted, but in a weird twist, I get bitten on the nose trying to arest said turtle, then throw it into the road in reflex and a truck crushes it on the shell. The end result is...pretty gruesome.

I wish that turtle has an afterlife.

[Salroka]

Granted. But he is on the Nastrond, being chewed on by the Nidhoggr. Because that turtle is a big piece of shit.

I wish Dark Souls 3 would be ported to the Switch.

[Quote5]

Your wish is granted. It is a darn bad porting job,as it lags worse than WWE 2K18

I seem to have an ear infection. I wish it turns out that it's not an ear infection.

[Salroka]

Granted. There are spiders nesting in your inner ear.

I wish I had a delicious cheeseburger.

[Lacroix]

Granted, but they forgot the pickles.

I wish I had a car.

[Lugia]

Granted, but, surprisingly, it quickly gets stolen by a turtle. Yes, I know turtles don't do anything quickly, that's what makes it surprising.

I wish for the person who grants this wish to become what they like the most.

[Burning Kitty]

Granted turns into immortal shapeshifter, proceeds to turn into a beautiful woman.

I wish the wish of wishes.

[Quote5]

Granted. You can not use the wishes you wished for. Other people can though.

I wish I had a girlfriend. To make it as hard as possible to corrupt this wish, I will specify that she must be cute (no giving me an ugly girlfriend) and can not differ from my age by more than a year. (No turning me into a creep by giving me a girlfriend much younger or older than me.)

[Lacroix]

Granted. However, she isn't real and her route in the Visual Novel is the hardest one, requiring several completions of the game and some obscure actions that would make no sense.

I wish for crackers.

[Lugia]

Granted, but they taste HORRIBLE.

I wish for granting this wish to turn into their least favorite thing.

[Dread]

Granted. You are now a Politician.

I wish for sneakers that would never wear out.

[Burning Kitty]

Granted, everytime you put the sneakers on they turn into 6 inch heels when you take them off they turn back into sneakers.

I wish the granter to turn into a toad the size of thumbtack and is not poisonous.

[Quote5]

Granted. I am now a really small toad. Do to my small size, I do a darn bad job keaping the bugs down.

I wish I wasn't a toad.

[Lugia]

Granted, you are now a bug.

I wish for the granter to become a snail.