12 Guests viewing this page
Hidden 9 yrs ago 9 yrs ago Post by CitrusArms
Raw
Avatar of CitrusArms

CitrusArms Space Spatula

Member Online

Oh, damn. I had it all slapped into the field and ready to go. I'll hit send when I get home from work.
Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by twave
Raw
Avatar of twave

twave

Member Seen 3 days ago

@CirusArvennicus Could mention that it was the night before.

Also, leaving Ariel hanging eh?
Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by CitrusArms
Raw
Avatar of CitrusArms

CitrusArms Space Spatula

Member Online

No, no. Just haven't written an actual post yet. x: After work today I will.
Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by Overlord24
Raw
Avatar of Overlord24

Overlord24 The Aspiring Author

Member Seen 14 days ago

Name: "The Overlord" Avary Muse
Age: 13
Birthday: He doesn't know
Magic: Ice Make
Magic Level: A
History: Avary was raised by his father, who was in a dark guild. He grew up believing that what his father was doing was right. It wasn't until he was abandoned on the front steps of Fairy Tail that he learned what was good and what wasn't.
Personality: Dark and secluded due to his parentage.
Guild and guild mark location: Fairy Tail, light blue, inner right forearm.
Three Strengths: (Not just combat)
1. Writing
2. Hand to hand
3. Stealth
Three Weaknesses: (Make them Applicable)
1. His past
2. People
3. Heat
Greatest Love: No one
Motivation: Stopping evil guilds
Appearance:
Additional Details: He rarely talks to people, and if he does, he never talks about his past.
Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by Raijinslayer
Raw
Avatar of Raijinslayer

Raijinslayer .

Member Seen 10 days ago

@Overlord24Um, you probably should've read the premise of this before making this sheet, since this takes place a hundred years after Fairy Tail.
Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by Crimson Raven
Raw
Avatar of Crimson Raven

Crimson Raven *Rolls a Nat 1*

Member Seen 4 yrs ago

Hidden 9 yrs ago 9 yrs ago Post by Crimson Raven
Raw
Avatar of Crimson Raven

Crimson Raven *Rolls a Nat 1*

Member Seen 4 yrs ago

Name: "The Overlord" Avary Muse
Age: 13
Birthday: He doesn't know
Magic: Ice Make
Magic Level: A
History: Avary was raised by his father, who was in a dark guild. He grew up believing that what his father was doing was right. It wasn't until he was abandoned on the front steps of Fairy Tail that he learned what was good and what wasn't.
Personality: Dark and secluded due to his parentage.
Guild and guild mark location: Fairy Tail, light blue, inner right forearm.
Three Strengths: (Not just combat)
1. Writing
2. Hand to hand
3. Stealth
Three Weaknesses: (Make them Applicable)
1. His past
2. People
3. Heat
Greatest Love: No one
Motivation: Stopping evil guilds
Appearance:
Additional Details: He rarely talks to people, and if he does, he never talks about his past.


Okay, so our great and powerful GM @Caits is not on right now, so I'm going to point out the more obvious problems here, along with a few specific ones.

First, as @Raijinslayer said, It is painfully obvious that you didn't even bother to read the whole first post, where the premise is located.

Second, your character is barely defined. The personality is a single sentence. The History is vague, and the title, Motivation, and strengths seem completely random.

Why is he good at writing?
Why is he called "Overlord?"
Why is his motivation stopping Dark Guilds?

That age. Hoo boy. He is an A-Rank Mage at the tender age of 13? That is extremely unrealistic. A-rank would mean that he could hold his own against the likes of Gajeel, Grey, or Juvia. It takes time for any mage to get stronger through practice, experience and maturity. To be that stong, he would have to be some kind of genius, and if he was, there is no explanation, or reasoning why.

To a more specific thing that you would not know, Maker magics are restricted, unless there is a very good reason for it, or it is very cool or unique. Even then, they will have to pass inspection.

Final Questions: Why does he not know his birthday, and if he doesn't know when he was born, how does he know how old he is?
Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by Zarkun
Raw
coGM
Avatar of Zarkun

Zarkun The Vigilante

Member Seen 23 min ago

Name: "The Overlord" Avary Muse
Age: 13
Birthday: He doesn't know
Magic: Ice Make
Magic Level: A
History: Avary was raised by his father, who was in a dark guild. He grew up believing that what his father was doing was right. It wasn't until he was abandoned on the front steps of Fairy Tail that he learned what was good and what wasn't.
Personality: Dark and secluded due to his parentage.
Guild and guild mark location: Fairy Tail, light blue, inner right forearm.
Three Strengths: (Not just combat)
1. Writing
2. Hand to hand
3. Stealth
Three Weaknesses: (Make them Applicable)
1. His past
2. People
3. Heat
Greatest Love: No one
Motivation: Stopping evil guilds
Appearance:
Additional Details: He rarely talks to people, and if he does, he never talks about his past.


Alright, well, guys. @Crimson Raven Next time, please give myself or Expolar a chance to post before you do, would be appreciated.

That said, you really need to read the title of the RP, then the OP of the OOC, then the summary and maybe research some of the other characters so we aren't running too many identical magics. Maker magics are restricted due to having a high number of maker mages right now, as are Slayers, though that's for an entirely different reason. Perhaps PM myself or one of the other GMs and work with them to get a good sheet made.

Also, @Crimson Raven raises some very valid points that he saved me time on posting by bringing them up.
Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by MarshiestMallow
Raw
GM
Avatar of MarshiestMallow

MarshiestMallow The Marshiest of Mallows

Member Seen 1 yr ago

Name: "The Overlord" Avary Muse
Age: 13
Birthday: He doesn't know
Magic: Ice Make
Magic Level: A
History: Avary was raised by his father, who was in a dark guild. He grew up believing that what his father was doing was right. It wasn't until he was abandoned on the front steps of Fairy Tail that he learned what was good and what wasn't.
Personality: Dark and secluded due to his parentage.
Guild and guild mark location: Fairy Tail, light blue, inner right forearm.
Three Strengths: (Not just combat)
1. Writing
2. Hand to hand
3. Stealth
Three Weaknesses: (Make them Applicable)
1. His past
2. People
3. Heat
Greatest Love: No one
Motivation: Stopping evil guilds
Appearance:
Additional Details: He rarely talks to people, and if he does, he never talks about his past.


While this is a fairy tail roleplay, fairy tail does not exist in this. It's 100 years past an event that knocked magic on its arse and destroyed most guilds. Magic is just now becoming accepted and we have our own guilds, hence the name PHOENIX WING in the title.

I thank @Crimson Raven for pointing out some issues, even though I do prefer it be one of the gms first, but it is clear that this is an extreme case and needed to be addressed quick smart.

If you PM myself, Zarkun and Expolar we can work with you to create a better CS.
Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by MarshiestMallow
Raw
GM
Avatar of MarshiestMallow

MarshiestMallow The Marshiest of Mallows

Member Seen 1 yr ago

@Zarkun@Expolar@Caits


While I don't have a problem with these, I was wondering if you could change the name of the ice queen magic? Just so there's no confusion with Sasha's ice queen move
Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by Burthstone
Raw
Avatar of Burthstone

Burthstone The Nebulus Nebulae

Member Seen 5 yrs ago

Wanted to say...

Hello people.
Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by Remram
Raw
Avatar of Remram

Remram

Member Seen 3 hrs ago

Wanted to say...

Hello people.


From the other side?
Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by Burthstone
Raw
Avatar of Burthstone

Burthstone The Nebulus Nebulae

Member Seen 5 yrs ago

<Snipped quote by Burthstone>

From the other side?


Other side of what?
Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by Remram
Raw
Avatar of Remram

Remram

Member Seen 3 hrs ago

<Snipped quote by hatakekuro>

Other side of what?


From where you are?
Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by Crimson Raven
Raw
Avatar of Crimson Raven

Crimson Raven *Rolls a Nat 1*

Member Seen 4 yrs ago

Wanted to say...

Hello people.


1x Laugh Laugh
Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by Lunarlord34
Raw
Avatar of Lunarlord34

Lunarlord34 Totally not a vampire

Member Seen 0-24 hrs ago

@Caits
Reasonable request. Suggestions?
I mean I could change to ice mistress, ice master. Something along those lines
Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by Lunarlord34
Raw
Avatar of Lunarlord34

Lunarlord34 Totally not a vampire

Member Seen 0-24 hrs ago

<Snipped quote by Burthstone>



Oh teach me!
Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by Zarkun
Raw
coGM
Avatar of Zarkun

Zarkun The Vigilante

Member Seen 23 min ago

I've come to a decision. I'm holding a Slayers convention for all the slayers in the RP XD
Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by twave
Raw
Avatar of twave

twave

Member Seen 3 days ago

I've come to a decision. I'm holding a Slayers convention for all the slayers in the RP XD


Is Ariel invited? :D
Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by Cello
Raw
Avatar of Cello

Cello Rainbow 2.0

Member Seen 10 hrs ago

SlayCon 2016
↑ Top
12 Guests viewing this page
© 2007-2024
BBCode Cheatsheet