"Not really. With all this free time, I have been thinking about taking up another class between our training sessions and my side job." After stretching Annabeth went over to Ssarak and served as his spotter. She stood near by in case he needed her to help him hold a weight, or simply so they could continue their mental conversation. The weights that Ssarak were using was akin to cannon balls, though those were probably lighter. "Though the influx of all these merchants can get fairly annoying. It is difficult going though the college without being heckled into looking into their stalls." But even than, the merchants knew better than to give the students a bad deal. The guard detail had been increased notably, and every large area had at least two guards posted, and that was just visibly. Once a thief stole an item from one of the stalls, only to be swarmed by five guardsmen, two statue golems, and seven demons who literally jumped out of the bushes. It made Annabeth a bit paranoid about who could be watching her when she thinks she's when she thinks she's alone, but at the same time, the appearance of absence was not evidence of absence. "Ssarak, if you do not mind, could we go over something about our training last time? I am still a bit confused with how you handled our last technique."
"The merchants do not bother me as much. That would require that I actually have coin to spend. The most I have been able to purchase since I arrived here was a replacement for my helmet. I suppose I have been too focused on my studies to take up regular employment. Still, there are a few who do not seem to comprehend that you cannot draw blood from a stone." Ssarak said with an audible chuckle as he put down the weights and sat up. It seemed Annabeth did wish to resume their training, and he had no problem obliging.
"But of course. What specifically is giving you issue?" He asked, standing to his feet. He would need a minute or two after that exercise to allow his muscles to recover, but that would simply provide time for Annabeth to explain with what she needed assistance. His arms and armor were still in his room, but the practice weapons in the gymnasium would likely suffice.
As Ssarak rested, Annabeth prepared their equipment. Wooden and weighty imitations of real weapons, though she supposed bludgeons were always deadly no matter the material. Either way, Annabeth got their weapons. Ssarak's weapon was a imposingly large battle axe, with dual heads and and heavy enough to crush a normal man. Annabeth's battle axe was a little under half it's size and only had a single head. She could use it with one or two hands, though for the sake of the training she uses two. "It was the leg sweep. You say it is supposedly... Non-lethal? Either way, after some times I've had the unfortunate tendency to hack of the legs of the targets I use. I was hoping that you could show me how it would be done again, without amputating them of course."
Ssarak nodded, grabbing the practice weapon in his hands. "Alright, I believe I can help. I will preface this by saying that, in a life or death situation, you should not hesitate on any maneuver you perform, even if you do not end up performing it correctly. If you wish to preserve your opponent's life, amputating their feet is preferable to killing them. Any hesitation on your part could mean your own death. Now, as for the technique, I have some advice I can offer."
Ssarak approached Annabeth with his axe held low, near her feet. His motions were slow, indicating that he was merely demonstrating the correct motions at the moment. "The first thing to consider with this maneuver is when is it appropriate to use it? As you can see, to attack your feet requires that I hold my weapon very low, which leaves me open to attack. Body parts such as the feet, or for an Esyire like myself, wings or the tail, may seem like tempting targets, since they are not as often defended, but you must consider how open your movements leave you. Only attempt a leg sweep if you know your target will not be able to immediately respond. Wait for them to miss a swing, or see if you can force them off balance."
Moving his axe to match his words, Ssarak began to explain his technique. "The way you perform this attack depends on the type of axe you are using. For one such as mine, it is usually possible to 'hook' their leg between the axe head and its shaft, like so." He said, demonstrating the proper motion. "Pay attention to how far past the leg I move before pulling back to catch it. If you attack at the right angle, you can use the ground to stop yourself before pulling back. Just be sure you do not embed your axe into the ground. A heavy axe such as mine can trip up an enemy more easily than yours, as it has more weight to it. As always, I recommend trying to work your way up to larger weapons.Unlike war axe, a battleaxe should be considered a crushing weapon, first and foremost. Its ability to cut is more of a bonus. If you do find yourself with a smaller weapon, you may attempt to strike at the legs with much greater force. You may not be able to be as precise, so another method is to strike with the blunt edge of the axe head. The force of the strike can be enough to trip your opponent. To improve the speed of your strike, you might try swinging normally for more aerodynamic efficiency, then twisting the weapon at the last second so that the blunt edge strikes. Go ahead and attempt either method on me."
Ssarak was a rather heavy individual, so providing enough force to sweep him off of his feet would be difficult, but he believed Annabeth was up to the task. Since he was wearing only his leather pants, instead of a full set of plate armor, he did not have as much weight to him as he normally would in combat, but he was still heavier than most humanoid opponents one would expect to face outside of the Scorched Lands.
Annabeth watched quietly as Ssarak explained the technique, absently thinking about why she wanted to learn how to use this technique properly. "I don't always use this against my enemies. Sometimes I might have to put a stop to a friend, and I'd rather not cut off his leg to get him to calm down." As Ssarak continued, she stood a bit away with her own axe and tried to copy his movements. Their weapons were not only different in size, but also in scale. Ssarak had himself something akin to a halberd in terms of how much shaft space he had, while Annabeth's shaft was much shorter, as tall from the top of her head to her hip. Nonetheless when she was given permission to do the technique, she did not hesitate to get into stance and prepare herself. Though her weapon was made of wood and blunt, she did not want to end up breaking his shin or ankles. Somehow.
Taking and releasing a deep breath, Annabeth moved in and went for the sweep. She kept her shoulders parallel to her hips, and when she had to reach her axe down to his legs she bent her knees instead of her back. She swung her axe in a small arc, the shaft hitting Ssarak's shin while the axe missed right behind his leg. When she felt the shock of the axe go through her arm, she planted her feet only to change their direction. Starting from her waist up, her muscles tensed and pulled as she pulled her axe up, hopefully enough to at least make Ssarak stumble.
Ssarak did not actively attempt to avoid Annabeth''s attack, but he certainly braced for it. He had no intention of making it easy. She performed the maneuver just as he showed her and hooked his leg with the weapon, but pulling him to the ground proved much more of a challenge. She lifted his leg into the air, but with his tail as a counterbalance, he was able to stay on his feet. "Not a bad attempt. Your technique is correct, and had I not been bracing for it, I may have ended up on the ground. It likely would have worked on a human opponent, or something of a similar size. Still, if you can learn to perform it successfully on me, then I doubt there are many it will not work on. Perhaps you should try it in more...dynamic circumstances. If you like, we can spar, and you can see if you can take me to the ground." Ssarak suggested. "Alright then! Prepare yourself Ssarak, I practiced some secret techniques myself!"
Ssarak smiled. "Indeed, just be cautious not to think about them." He said, tapping the side of his head.
Ssarak and Annabeth sparred briefly. Though each gave it their all, both also managed to walk out no worse for ware. Winded and slightly sore, but not greatly harmed or injured. Annabeth drank some water in a canteen she had, handing it to Ssarak to drink if he desired it. The spar was more tiring mentally than physically; the both of them had used their magics in some way during the battle, mostly with Annabeth trying to predict Ssarak's movements. But with his ward up, the only way she gained any information was when she managed to break his concentration, and during those moments Annabeth had difficulty trying to balance reading his mind and reacting to him during the spar. In the end though, it was good practice. Gave her a gauge of what her abilities currently was like. "How are you holding up Ssarak? I didn't hurt you did I?' Annabeth spoke verbally, allowing her mind and body to recover before returning to telepathic communication.
Ssarak gladly took the canteen, but was careful not to drink too much for himself, which would have been easy with the size of his maw. "You can hit harder than I expected, but I am fine. Your strength training has certainly been producing results, I would say. I still believe it would be beneficial if you joined me on a more regular basis for exercising. You could match Alaira for strength with more practice. I know you mentioned that you do not like the way your, what was it you called it, 'warrior arms' look, but I have to disagree. Besides, the...utility which comes with greater strength is worth it, is it not?"
"Eh.... Such matters are complicated." Annabeth hugged her body tightly, feeling her own arms. "There is a certain part of me that remembers that I liked the compliments I received for my formerly lithe appearance... But now a days, I do value strengthening my body over merely looking like a marble statue. And yet at the same time, I do not wish to be seen as..." Annabeth couldn't really find the right word. She had the feelings in her mind, but no way to express it. She allowed Ssarak to go through her wards to read her thoughts on it, as she she felt it was the best way for her to explain her thoughts simply by letting him listen to them. "I have seen many attractive people in the college, and I would have liked to know them better. But no one knows who I am, and can only judge me for what I look like. And should they see me with my warrior arms, what would they think? That I am simply a fighter who wishes to do battle? No, I would like to be a lover as well, but my body does not convey that message. Few who I speak to have negatives thoughts of my appearance, some even all it ugly. It is times like this I wish I could not read minds, as their thoughts lingers long into my memories. I know I know, I should not care so much about the opinion of strangers, but I was also raised to always look my best. And for whom? Strangers that I do not know, or perhaps ones who I would like to know more about. But some of those who I speak to look at me as though I am not someone they could see themselves with, and I know this. It is why I was also thinking, perhaps, changing my routine and diet again. I do not plan to lose my muscles, but perhaps try to make them more appealing. I have heard some who admire women with well defined musculature and look as though they were 'Carved from stone'. Wouldn't that be an interesting idea?" Annabeth took another sip from her canteen, but gargled the water and spat it into a waste bucket.
Ssarak listened intently to Annabeth's words, as well as her thoughts when she opened up her mind to allow him to read them. It certainly seemed as if this was something that weighed heavily on her mind. He supposed he could not truly understand the problems it gave her, as he was raised in entirely different circumstances with different expectations. Still, perhaps some of his words could be helpful to her.
"Were you Esyire, I do not believe it would be a problem for you. In my clan, a woman who is strong and capable would be seen as desirable. Some parts of your culture I do not believe I will ever truly understand. Regardless, I do suppose I can understand why this causes such conflict for you. I have been judged for my appearance on many occasions since leaving the Scorched Lands, though in a different way. Few who I came across regarded me as more than a brute or barbarian, and my size was simply intimidating to many. Obviously, I could not change that I am Esyire, so my options were to find a way to bear with it, or to return to my homeland. Perhaps I would have, had I not found the college. There are still plenty here who do not waste a moment in judging me, but I have come to realize that I do not care. It does not matter how many people dislike me for simply being what I am as long as I have a few good friends, such as yourself. I do not believe it worthwhile to attempt to satisfy everyone, as you may just end up disappointing yourself. If you are worried about finding a partner, you do not need to please everyone you see. You need only find one person who accepts you for who you are. Your choices are your own, of course. You will not find me making judgement on you for them, I simply believe you should avoid putting others' desires over your own happiness." Ssarak advised, his tone supportive.
Annabeth listened to Ssarak speak, her smile slowly growing. She was disappointing in herself for thinking that Ssarak was just dumb muscle oh so many months ago. He was quite supportive of her, soft spoken, and a calm person in general. Not the sort of calm that allowed one to merely be stoic; that was to suppress emotions. No, he had a sort of calming feeling that said that he understood the emotions going on, and instead of ignoring or keeping them down he simply chose the better of choices. Or at least that's how Annabeth felt about it. "Thank you, Ssarak." She sat closer to him and leaned on him, punching his armored scales affectionately. "I bet you were quite the lady's man before you came here, weren't you?" She was just joking, but Annabeth was also unaware of his past in the Scorched Lands. She knew lots about the Esyire through him, as well as some of the quirks and interests he had, but not much on his past. It was simply something that she never tried to get from him.
Ssarak chuckled lightly. The mental image of himself seducing the women of his village was amusing, even as it brought up painful memories of his family. "I would not quite say so. With how dedicated I was to serving as a warrior, the only reason I ever had a wife was because it was decided from birth. I do not believe I ever told you why I left the Scorched Lands, did I?" He asked, his expression turning a bit more serious.
Annabeth stopped leaning on Ssarak when he spoke about why he left the Scorched Lands. At first she was interested in hearing his story, but a look at his face told her that his tale was not a happy one. Especially when he mentioned his wife. Annabeth knew how some of these stories went; two people coming together as lovers, either on their own or arranged. But one had to leave the other behind, either in life or death. She already knew before Ssarak even began his story that he would be speaking of things near and dear to him. Annabeth was no stranger to such tales, hearing many oddly heart-felt ones in Underhaven. But as a friend, she felt that she needed to be more personally invested in it. "No, you have not. Do you... Wish to share?"
Ssarak nodded. "It is not something I speak of often, but...I can share the tale with you." He said, glancing around as he saw a few more people enter the gymnasium. "Though, perhaps somewhere not as...public."
Annabeth nodded her head, standing up and giving him one telepathic message before others came too close. "I know a place, follow me." After getting dressed and packing her things, she led Ssarak out of the gymnasium and into one of the main buildings. There, she took him through the maze that was the College's lower levels, until she reached the location of Underhaven. It wasn't open until later today, but using her worker's rune she was able to enter the door with Ssarak in tow. The bouncers came up to them, but upon seeing Annabeth they retreated, though they did ask about Ssarak. "He's with me." Was all that she needed to say before they left her alone. Passing the bar the goat demon simply known as Barkeep looked up to her. "My room key please." The demon tossed her a largely large key, made with an intricate pattern of carvings and holes, unlike most traditional keys. A little more walking and soon Annabeth and Ssarak were in a fairly large, comfortable room. Though Annabeth wasn't much of a drinker, she had some bottles of the tavern's better alcohol on the table near them, as well as a pitcher of water, juices, and a fizzy sweet drink that made bubbles. The room was rather dim, but the two mortals could see each other well enough. The last thing that Annabeth did was light a larger brazier at the center of the room. It provided additional heat, light, and a place for them to heat up snacks if they wanted any. Once she was done prepping the room, she took a seat on one of the room's many couches, which were almost as comfortable as the one that Tyrael was trying to get rid of. Except these wouldn't threaten to tear your intestines out of your body.
Ssarak could not say he was especially thrilled to end up in Underhaven. Annabeth had told him about it before, but it was not a place he normally would have gone to on his own. The demon patrons were of particular concern to him. He was not ignorant enough to assume all demons had malicious intent, but the very nature of what created a demon made them...suspect. Nevertheless, he entered upon Annabeth's request and followed her to her room, largely ignoring everyone else in the establishment.
"A tavern is not what would normally come to mind when I think of a private location, but I suppose it will work." Ssarak commented as he took a seat near Annabeth. The couch was small compared to him, but it was functional. He leaned back and closed his eyes for a moment, thinking on how much he should share. He was hardly the hero of his own tale, and he did not know if many would forgive him for his actions. Perhaps he did not deserve to be forgiven.
"I suppose I should begin, though I will say it is not a joyous tale, by any means. In my clan, marriages were always arranged from birth for various reasons, usually to bind families closer together. As soon as we were both of age, I was married to my wife, Riiska Dyreallanar. The following years were mostly normal. I trained to become a warrior, just as my father had been. He died when I was a child, you see, and I had always wanted to honor his memory. Through the course of a few years, I became a warrior in full and had three children with my wife. At that point, I would have said my life was proceeding perfectly, but I would not be here now if that had remained true. The short version of the story would be that I left because my wife, children, and much of my family were slaughtered in an attack by a rival clan on our village, but there is of course more to the story than that." He said, his tone becoming solemn as he lowered his head. "...much more
Listening to Ssarak's short tale, Annabeth had predicted correctly, though it did nothing to lessen the impact of what he said. His short, laconic version of his tale gave her the idea that it was indeed a very long and painful one. Annabeth was hesitant to ask him to continue, not wanting him to open up old wounds, but for all the help he gave her, the least she could do was hear him out. "Go on... But take your time. I will listen for you, Ssarak."
Ssarak nodded slowly, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath. "Very well, though I am afraid I am not the hero of this tale...far from it. All of the pain, all of the suffering my people felt, was my fault. Although it has been only a few years, it feels like it has been decades with how...different I used to be. I was not always the person I am. I used to be arrogant and, more importantly, angry. The death of my father is an old, well-healed wound, but I was always bitter about it. He perished in battle with our rival clan, the Xhoth. That was the reason I never became particularly skilled in my blood, as my father was the only psychomancer in the village. I resented them for it, more than most. I survived several battles with the Xhoth, but killing their soldiers did not temper my growing rage. I wanted to end the war...permanently. I wanted to destroy our enemy once and for all, so I acted against our traditions, against the code of honor both clans abide by. I convinced a sizable portion of my village's warriors, mostly young warriors such as myself, to attack a Xhoth village directly...and to kill all inhabitants. The raid was successful, but the cost was far great than I ever could have imagined. The Xhoth feigned an attack on a neighboring village of clan Dyre, drawing our warriors, myself included, away from my village. You can guess what happened next. When I returned, the village was ash, with few survivors. None of my family were among them.
Ssarak's hands were trembling, and he could do nothing more than stare blankly ahead. "When I buried my children in the ashes of what was once our home...I believe that is when the anger within me died, replaced by the far more sinister presence of regret. Although, I deserve all of the pain I feel, and much more beyond it. I caused the deaths of many innocents, both directly and indirectly, and yet I was not the one punished for it. My clan, my family, received all of the pain that rightfully belonged to me. I still do not know why I am alive and they are not. I suppose the sense of justice of whatever gods that control this world is not the same as my own. My purpose now...I do not really know what that is. I want to find a way to atone for what I have done, but I do not know if that is possible."
Breaking his blank stare, Ssarak reluctantly shifted his gaze over to Annabeth. "I suppose you can see why it is not a tale I readily share. It is a story in which I am the villain. It is not something I would expect anyone to forgive me for; it is not something I would forgive myself for."
Annabeth listened, but as the story continued, she found herself mixed between feeling sorry for Ssarak, and shocked. For someone who seemed so kind and understanding, to have done so much and had so much done to him... It was a lot to take in. And Annabeth feared that she did not have Ssarak's ways with word to sooth whatever pain that he may have. She was, really, speechless. For what seemed like a long time she and Ssarak sat in the darkness, their faces dimly lit by the brazier's embers. Soon she began to speak, trying to make sense of what Ssarak said. "You... You only did what you thought was best. An unknown eternity waging war against another clan was not a great future. You tried to stop that, and what happened afterwards was merely... Merely nothing you could have predicted. Your actions would be considered evil, but you were willing to do it out of necessity. If not you, someone else would have done it, but only after many more gruesome years of war." Annabeth felt that it was weak, but she continued to try to console her friend. "And... You have my sympathies for your family. I know it must have been a great pain to know what happened to them. You may think it is a fitting punishment for you, but even so you can grieve for them nonetheless. After all, what you did, it was only so they would not have to grow up and end up in the same situation as you were in."
The more Annabeth spoke, the less she thought her words were working. She wished she was strong enough with her magic to try to manipulate Ssarak's emotions, as wrong as that is. She poured her and Ssarak a drink of water, herself finishing the cup quickly before pouring herself another one. "But there is no harm in trying to find a way to make right of what you did. I cannot say what that may be... Something like that requires you to seek it out. Perhaps that in itself is a way to find redemption, to constantly do good in the right way. Live the rest of your life trying to solve mistakes until the very end." Annabeth's face grew red and hot, trying to find some words or way to show Ssarak that things were alright now. But they weren't. But she was still trying anyways. "I'm glad that you trust me so much that you are willing to tell me something so personal about yourself. I cannot say I have all the right answers to all of life's problems, but I will be willing to lend and ear and offer a helping hand. If nothing else I will always be here for you as your friend, as you have for me."
Ssarak was speechless. A look of utter shock came over his face. He had expected anger or distrust, not consoling words. He did not understand how anyone could forgive him for his actions, and yet...she had. Honestly, it did not matter what she said, the sheer fact that she was even trying to help him after hearing his sordid tale raised his spirits higher than they had been in quite some time.
"Th-thank you. I did not expect any measure of acceptance after what I have done, no matter how I have changed. I appreciate your words, truly I do, but I have long abandoned hope of justifying anything I did. It does not matter why I did it, my actions were inexcusable. The road to the Pit is paved with good intentions. As for what I am doing now, however...I believe you are right. It has been what I have been trying to do since leaving my homeland. I always attempt to do the right thing whenever and wherever I can. Perhaps I will have to save all of Tien before I could possibly be forgiven for my actions, but if that is what is required, then that is what I shall attempt to do. Again, I cannot thank you enough for your kindness. It is far more than I deserve." Ssarak said, a smile creeping on to his face. For the first time since he began his self-imposed exile, atonement almost seemed...possible.
"Don't lose hope yet!" Annabeth blurted out without much forethought. She quickly tried to back track as Ssarak spoke, hopefully unaware or at least quietly considering her shout out. Ssarak seem to have taken her previous words to heart through, despite her own thoughts that they were fairly shoddy attempts to be consoling. His smile was contagious as her own face began to light up with a small smirk. "It's not something you have to earn, Ssarak. It's just something that I have to give, is all." Her smile grew wider as Annabeth stood up and went to a closet. Inside was an assortment of snacks and such they could cook on the brazier. "Interested in anything to eat, Ssarak? While we're here anyways."
"Yes, thank you. I have not yet eaten, so I am starving, as I imagine you are as well." Ssarak responded, his mind quickly returning to their conversation. "I am still surprised that you are so forgiving, although I suppose I have never mentioned to anyone what happened before now. Since the beginning of my self-imposed exile, I have always considered atonement to be more of a dream than a potential reality, but maybe it is more attainable than I assumed. Not that it will be easy, by any means. I still have a long way to go, a lot of work to do. I have only saved one life since arriving at the college; I will need to save many more before I can hope to attain that goal."
As Annabeth operated the grill, she also spoke to Ssarak about his atonement. "I cannot say that I forgive you, but what you did isn't something for me to judge you on. I mean, what you did was... Evil, in a sense, but at the same time, it was a situational thing, you know? Perhaps here in the safety of the college such things would be wrong, but where you came from the alternative would be worse. All in all, I am shocked, but I won't think of you harshly for it." Annabeth skewered some nuts and assorted meats and veggies onto skewers, letting them roast over the grill of the brazier. "Atonement... It isn't something that the atoner chooses. So they can't really decide if they can or can't... They just have to keep trying something, anything. And have faith that, in the end, they've done all that they could." It was a hard thing for Annabeth to say. Basically amounted to "keep trying". But that's what it all boiled down to really. Skill, luck, ability, none of that mattered if you weren't going to put them to use. Perhaps she wasn't the best person to talk to Ssarak about this, but the fact that he was willing to talk to her about it said that he at least valued her opinion.
"Food's done! It's a bit dry since I didn't prepare any sauce, but it should keep us full." Annabeth placed down various shishkebabs of assorted meats and veggies, as well as a plate of roasted nuts. Annabeth also traded her water for the bubbling sweet juice. The fizzy texture was a surprise at first, but it went down with no trouble. It was very sweet though, likely not good for her health if she drank so much of it.
"It is no issue. I do not think you will find me too selective with my meals." Ssarak commented, gladly taking his share of the the food she had cooked. He decided to keep his water, namely because he did not actually know what it was she was drinking. "Anyway, I believe you are correct. Certainly, I do not intend on giving up. Unfortunately, it is not too often that someone is in need of a hero, but I will take the opportunities when I can."
True to his word, Ssarak wolfed down the meal she had prepared, as he had quite the voracious appetite, especially after a workout. He usually had trouble remembering the table manners humans expected, though he doubted that Annabeth would care, being a close friend. From what he had gathered, such rituals were commonly only observed at formal gatherings. "Perhaps we should move away from such...unsavory topics? This place, Underhaven is it? I have never been here before. Living in the college, I know I should be accustomed the the presence of demons, but I must admit that being in a place such as this is slightly unsettling. Being that you are a mortal, I cannot imagine all of the clientele treat you with respect."
Annabeth ate at a moderate pace. She tried not to "Stuff her face", but sometimes she did bite off more than she could chew. But after a few swigs of the fizzy drink, the food went down all the same. Ssarak, not wanting to talk about the previous topic, decided to ask about Underhaven. She could do that fairly well, she imagined. "Admittedly I stumbled upon here by accident. I was asked to find someone on behalf of Satori, and she told me to find this place. I searched and searched, but never seemed to be able to find it. I asked a guardsman, who directed me to a golem, who simply brought me to a wall. I loitered around for quite some time before a... Demon... Showed up. I had to admit, I was scared. It was only me and the demon in the lower levels, and I only had my dagger with me that day. But the demon simply asked me why I was there, and when he explained things, he showed me inside." Between her words and eating, Annabeth took out a amulet from her bag. "Underhaven has multiple entrances, but each one require a special rune to open. It's to prevent those who would try to do harm to demons or vampires from going in and causing trouble. As for the usual patrons, they are not so bad. Subtle, infact. Though their fury does tend to boil, it's never directed towards me so much as it is towards other patrons. Usually the demons use their magic and take their fight elsewhere, but sometimes the bouncers would come in and kill them quickly. They aren't so brutal with vampires, but it happens. It was quite shocking at first, and even now when a fight breaks out I get scared, but the demons never seem to bother me or other 'mortals', as they call us. Even the vampires seem to ignore me so long as I do not try to attract their attention." Annabeth began to crack open and eat some nuts, washing away their salty aftertaste with some water.
"That being said, I always do feel out of place there. Everyone there is either a demon or a vampire. I always hear them talk about things like who they've killed recently, or how their last meal was like. Sometimes I feel they only talk about it when I'm around, just to scare me. Or maybe it's simply by chance..." Annabeth continued eating her nuts as she tried to think of things to ask Ssarak. She wanted to try to stray as far away from topics about his former home or his exile. The college seemed to be the best thing to talk about, so she made something up. "So, I've heard that you also have been taking extra classes from Satori. Between the usual work she has for us and my job, I haven't really focused my time on much else. I'm interested to know what you've learned from her so far."
Ssarak's expression showed some concern as Annabeth explained the details of her work. It seemed dangerous for her to always be around such volatile patrons. She could certainly defend herself, but if she was not armed and facing a demon, the bouncer would be the only other line of defense. Other than her psychomancy, of course. When the conversation shifted toward Ssarak's private lessons, a bit of a grin came over his face once more. "Indeed I have." He said, standing up and activating an invisibility spell all at the same time. Given their training session earlier, he could not keep it up long, but it was more than enough time to make his way behind the couch she was sitting on and look down on her from above. He spread out his wings to make himself appear larger in her field of vision, then ended his invisibility. "My dedication to my training has granted me a few new abilities. I have not had time for much else, but I would say it has been worth it. Invisibility, improved wards and telepathy, and the ability to switch between wide and focused psychomancy are some of what she as taught me. I believe you would enjoy taking private lessons, even if it means a somewhat reduced stream of revenue."
"Oh my!" Annabeth shouted with glee when Ssarak vanished. She had seen others do the same spell themselves, but it was more exciting when Ssarak preformed it. When he appeared he had his wings spread out and his entire body was over her. Despite the increase in size, it wasn't until his spell ended that she actually saw him.
"Indeed! That does seem rather tempting... Do you think Satori would be willing to take in another student? Especially since I still plan to work here, if only part time." Annabeth's own thoughts on Satori was fairly low. Though much time has passed since the opening ceremony, Annabeth would like their relationship to be nothing more than a professional teacher-to-student one. Personally, Annabeth found Satori much to apathetic to the feeling of others. She could not say that she does not know how others feel or think without lying, so often anything she does to bother her students were done intentionally, not due to any sort of misunderstanding. She was still a good teacher, but Annabeth simply found her personality to be too carefree for her taste.
"I believe so. Her motivations may be unknowable, but she seems dedicated to her role as an instructor. If she is capable of it, I imagine she would take you on for private lessons. I admit I would be more at ease if you took those lessons. I doubt you carry an axe with you while working at this place, so psychomancy would be the next best way to defend yourself. Actually, once we become experienced enough, our psychomancy will outstrip anything we can do with a weapon. It could be used to avoid conflict entirely. The concept of never having to fight again is... Exciting to me." Ssarak answered, pulling his wings back into their normal position.
Annabeth giggled as Ssarak's enthusiasm for magic. She had to admit, while the material itself is long and confusing at best, when she manages to cast a spell she felt a certain rush from it. She could only imagine what she could do when she becomes more skilled. "Indeed. Psychomancy is quite an entertaining magic. Perhaps, later today, I'll see if I could ask my boss about arranging my scedual to accommodate my extra lessons from Satori." Annabeth finished off the rest of her nuts and lounged on the couch, looking at Ssarak. "Ssarak, I don't mean to gossip, but what do you think of some of the other teachers? I've met Uicle, and despite his misfortune, he seems like an kind fellow... Quirks aside. I've also met with Lidda, very kind but also very eccentric. I've only seen Lucilia occasionally in Underhaven, and she always seems to be busy with something. When she's in Underhaven, it seems like she's only there to solve a problem. I've also seen Khan around the college, I'm not entirely sure what he does, but I'm surprised that he's a demonmancer. The current demonmancer teacher... Well, he scares me. In a way. I've seen him in Underhaven too, and all the demons listen to him. But he's so... Cruel? I've seen him kill some people..." The entire cast for the college's teachers were all strange in their own ways, but some more frightening than others.
"Honestly, I do not know most of them very well. My days are generally filled between classes, exercise, and training. I cannot say that I regret not knowing Tyrael, honestly. His demonstration in the opening feast spoke volumes about his personality...of course Satori's was hardly peaceful as well. I would not say I trust Satori necessarily, but perhaps I should not be so judgmental. Overall, I would not say I envy Khan. He has the task of keeping the college together through the myriad of challenges it faces. He has to keep Satori, Tyrael, and any other unstable staff in line, he has to deal with hordes of dignitaries, he has to make decisions I have never even thought of having to face. I am afraid I was at least partially responsible for one of the issues he had to face only a day after my arrival. It was due to my psychomancy that Althalus mated with Mar and put them in their current predicament. Of course, I would say pregnancy is preferable to death, in that case." He said with a chuckle. His own thoughts on the situation were mixed. He did feel partially responsible for the situation and wanted to be helpful, but he doubted Mar would be accepting of any aid.
"Wait wait wait wait. Mar's pregnant!?" This was news to her. Just about everyone knew about the naga and how she was the "pet" of the demonmancy teacher (Though the two are going through a bit of a rough patch right about now). Most also knew that Mar and Althalus were roommates. But for Mar to be pregnant with Althalus's child? That was almost as shocking as Ssarak's personal story. "How did this happen? She never seemed to be the type to really involve herself romantically... But I can't imagine someone like Althalus to force himself on her, certainly not. But how do you come into all of this? Did you give Althalus some tips to woo Mar?" Annabeth promised herself not to gossip, but this was too interesting to let go. It would explain why the demonmancer teacher seems so ornery as of late, as his possessiveness of the Naga was well known, like she was his daughter or something.
Ssarak scratched his head a moment as he moved to take a seat. "Oh, right, I never told you about that. It is a complicated situation, and I do not have all of the details myself. It did not start off as you think. Quite the opposite, Mar came very close to killing Althalus. I do not know exactly what caused it, but when Mar returned from her hunt on the second day we were here, something had influenced her to become exceptionally angry. Althalus was attempting to stop her for some reason, and she lashed out at him with her scythe, fully intent on killing him. I was in the courtyard as well and witnessed these events unfold. Mar had Althalus in her coils when I intervened. I projected a cloud of psychomantic gas over the pair, which calmed Mar's anger, but it also had other effects, akin to various drugs. Unfortunately, I did not have near the stamina then as I do now, so I was too exhausted to focus on keeping them separated. As I went off to Satori's class, they went off to a private room and, well now Mar bears Althalus' child. I know little more than that, as Mar is not the most...social individual. I have scarcely ever spoken to her. Personally, I did not know humans and Naga were interfertile, though I suppose I should not be surprised. It seems many of Tiien's races are compatible in that nature, as evidenced by students such as Aruna."
Annabeth hasn't even been to class and she's already learning something. She already knew of Eysire's ability to breath the magic of their blood, but she had never expected Ssarak to have been able to subdue the naga and human, as well as make them sexually charged enough to really go through the ritual of baby making. Annabeth was almost tempted to ask him how he did it when he mentioned Aruna. She knew of the half-eysire, if only in passing. She did always wonder how Aruna would feel about someone like Ssarak. Annabeth could see the two together and thought it would make for a cute couple, but also kept any thoughts about relationships for Ssarak to herself. He was once married. "But wait, if this happened on the second day... I do not know much about nagas, but do you think her child... Hmm. I do wonder what her baby would be like once it's conceived. I know!" Annabeth stood up and looked towards Ssarak. "We should get them gift for their child! You, after all, were the one to make it all possible. Oh, if only I were able to be there! I mean, I don't know what I'd do, but it's certainly a momentous time. A naga and human child... Yes, we should be present for it's birth! But we need presents first. I know who we could go to; Val! I'm sure she could make something for the baby."
Ssarak was surprised by Annabeth's sudden excitement, and nervous all at the same time. There was a reason he had not attempted to speak to Mar. She was not very approachable at the best of times, and with her child coming closer to being born...he did not know if trying to become involved would be a good idea. "I, um, I do not know if that is a good idea. Mar is far from a kind individual, and certainly not sociable. She may not appreciate the sentiment of a gift. Althalus might, but not her. I would not know what would be appropriate for a Naga-Human child. Both are different in many ways; I can only guess what form it will take."
Annabeth would not back down so easily. "Nonsense! A gift is a gift! And for a child, we have to make sure it's something that will help her grow but also enjoy life. Maybe... Maybe a toy of some sort? A rattle perhaps, or maybe a doll! But if the child is part naga, it will have to be a strong doll. I've seen what Mar is capable of, no doubt the baby will inherit her mother's strength. Come on now Ssarak, this is no time to be scared! It is a joyous thing to happen. Don't worry, I'll get us two gifts, one that I can give and one you can give! Come on now~" Annabeth reached over and tried to pull Ssarak to the door, off to find Val and get something for the baby-to-be.
Although Ssarak did not resist when Annabeth began to pull him toward the door, he was regretting bringing up Mar's pregnancy. Her intentions were certainly good, but he could not imagine this ending well. "Alright, but I would like to say that I find this a very bad idea. There are many, many more ways this can go wrong than it can go right." He said nervously as he followed behind her. As much as he wanted to remove himself from the situation, he did not want to be absent if Annabeth ended up in a confrontation with Mar. For both their sakes, he hoped she was right.
"There's always a chance for bad things to happen, But we can't give up a chance of doing good just because of it!" After handing her keys back to Barkeep, Annabeth and Ssarak left Underhaven and headed topside to find Val. All the while Annabeth was thinking about what they should try to get for Mar, which she allowed Ssarak to telepathically converse about. "It has to be something we can give to a boy or girl. I'm thinking we should get a soft baby blanket, white like the snow. Or maybe some sort of stuffed animal! But it has to be a neutral color, wouldn't want to embarrass the child later in his or her life with a doll that makes them seem too childish. But if it's an animal, what should it be? I think it may be in bad taste if we simply gave her a snake... Maybe a dog, or a cat." Annabeth's thoughts just continued to rattle off ideas as they looked for Val.
"The merchants do not bother me as much. That would require that I actually have coin to spend. The most I have been able to purchase since I arrived here was a replacement for my helmet. I suppose I have been too focused on my studies to take up regular employment. Still, there are a few who do not seem to comprehend that you cannot draw blood from a stone." Ssarak said with an audible chuckle as he put down the weights and sat up. It seemed Annabeth did wish to resume their training, and he had no problem obliging.
"But of course. What specifically is giving you issue?" He asked, standing to his feet. He would need a minute or two after that exercise to allow his muscles to recover, but that would simply provide time for Annabeth to explain with what she needed assistance. His arms and armor were still in his room, but the practice weapons in the gymnasium would likely suffice.
As Ssarak rested, Annabeth prepared their equipment. Wooden and weighty imitations of real weapons, though she supposed bludgeons were always deadly no matter the material. Either way, Annabeth got their weapons. Ssarak's weapon was a imposingly large battle axe, with dual heads and and heavy enough to crush a normal man. Annabeth's battle axe was a little under half it's size and only had a single head. She could use it with one or two hands, though for the sake of the training she uses two. "It was the leg sweep. You say it is supposedly... Non-lethal? Either way, after some times I've had the unfortunate tendency to hack of the legs of the targets I use. I was hoping that you could show me how it would be done again, without amputating them of course."
Ssarak nodded, grabbing the practice weapon in his hands. "Alright, I believe I can help. I will preface this by saying that, in a life or death situation, you should not hesitate on any maneuver you perform, even if you do not end up performing it correctly. If you wish to preserve your opponent's life, amputating their feet is preferable to killing them. Any hesitation on your part could mean your own death. Now, as for the technique, I have some advice I can offer."
Ssarak approached Annabeth with his axe held low, near her feet. His motions were slow, indicating that he was merely demonstrating the correct motions at the moment. "The first thing to consider with this maneuver is when is it appropriate to use it? As you can see, to attack your feet requires that I hold my weapon very low, which leaves me open to attack. Body parts such as the feet, or for an Esyire like myself, wings or the tail, may seem like tempting targets, since they are not as often defended, but you must consider how open your movements leave you. Only attempt a leg sweep if you know your target will not be able to immediately respond. Wait for them to miss a swing, or see if you can force them off balance."
Moving his axe to match his words, Ssarak began to explain his technique. "The way you perform this attack depends on the type of axe you are using. For one such as mine, it is usually possible to 'hook' their leg between the axe head and its shaft, like so." He said, demonstrating the proper motion. "Pay attention to how far past the leg I move before pulling back to catch it. If you attack at the right angle, you can use the ground to stop yourself before pulling back. Just be sure you do not embed your axe into the ground. A heavy axe such as mine can trip up an enemy more easily than yours, as it has more weight to it. As always, I recommend trying to work your way up to larger weapons.Unlike war axe, a battleaxe should be considered a crushing weapon, first and foremost. Its ability to cut is more of a bonus. If you do find yourself with a smaller weapon, you may attempt to strike at the legs with much greater force. You may not be able to be as precise, so another method is to strike with the blunt edge of the axe head. The force of the strike can be enough to trip your opponent. To improve the speed of your strike, you might try swinging normally for more aerodynamic efficiency, then twisting the weapon at the last second so that the blunt edge strikes. Go ahead and attempt either method on me."
Ssarak was a rather heavy individual, so providing enough force to sweep him off of his feet would be difficult, but he believed Annabeth was up to the task. Since he was wearing only his leather pants, instead of a full set of plate armor, he did not have as much weight to him as he normally would in combat, but he was still heavier than most humanoid opponents one would expect to face outside of the Scorched Lands.
Annabeth watched quietly as Ssarak explained the technique, absently thinking about why she wanted to learn how to use this technique properly. "I don't always use this against my enemies. Sometimes I might have to put a stop to a friend, and I'd rather not cut off his leg to get him to calm down." As Ssarak continued, she stood a bit away with her own axe and tried to copy his movements. Their weapons were not only different in size, but also in scale. Ssarak had himself something akin to a halberd in terms of how much shaft space he had, while Annabeth's shaft was much shorter, as tall from the top of her head to her hip. Nonetheless when she was given permission to do the technique, she did not hesitate to get into stance and prepare herself. Though her weapon was made of wood and blunt, she did not want to end up breaking his shin or ankles. Somehow.
Taking and releasing a deep breath, Annabeth moved in and went for the sweep. She kept her shoulders parallel to her hips, and when she had to reach her axe down to his legs she bent her knees instead of her back. She swung her axe in a small arc, the shaft hitting Ssarak's shin while the axe missed right behind his leg. When she felt the shock of the axe go through her arm, she planted her feet only to change their direction. Starting from her waist up, her muscles tensed and pulled as she pulled her axe up, hopefully enough to at least make Ssarak stumble.
Ssarak did not actively attempt to avoid Annabeth''s attack, but he certainly braced for it. He had no intention of making it easy. She performed the maneuver just as he showed her and hooked his leg with the weapon, but pulling him to the ground proved much more of a challenge. She lifted his leg into the air, but with his tail as a counterbalance, he was able to stay on his feet. "Not a bad attempt. Your technique is correct, and had I not been bracing for it, I may have ended up on the ground. It likely would have worked on a human opponent, or something of a similar size. Still, if you can learn to perform it successfully on me, then I doubt there are many it will not work on. Perhaps you should try it in more...dynamic circumstances. If you like, we can spar, and you can see if you can take me to the ground." Ssarak suggested. "Alright then! Prepare yourself Ssarak, I practiced some secret techniques myself!"
Ssarak smiled. "Indeed, just be cautious not to think about them." He said, tapping the side of his head.
Ssarak and Annabeth sparred briefly. Though each gave it their all, both also managed to walk out no worse for ware. Winded and slightly sore, but not greatly harmed or injured. Annabeth drank some water in a canteen she had, handing it to Ssarak to drink if he desired it. The spar was more tiring mentally than physically; the both of them had used their magics in some way during the battle, mostly with Annabeth trying to predict Ssarak's movements. But with his ward up, the only way she gained any information was when she managed to break his concentration, and during those moments Annabeth had difficulty trying to balance reading his mind and reacting to him during the spar. In the end though, it was good practice. Gave her a gauge of what her abilities currently was like. "How are you holding up Ssarak? I didn't hurt you did I?' Annabeth spoke verbally, allowing her mind and body to recover before returning to telepathic communication.
Ssarak gladly took the canteen, but was careful not to drink too much for himself, which would have been easy with the size of his maw. "You can hit harder than I expected, but I am fine. Your strength training has certainly been producing results, I would say. I still believe it would be beneficial if you joined me on a more regular basis for exercising. You could match Alaira for strength with more practice. I know you mentioned that you do not like the way your, what was it you called it, 'warrior arms' look, but I have to disagree. Besides, the...utility which comes with greater strength is worth it, is it not?"
"Eh.... Such matters are complicated." Annabeth hugged her body tightly, feeling her own arms. "There is a certain part of me that remembers that I liked the compliments I received for my formerly lithe appearance... But now a days, I do value strengthening my body over merely looking like a marble statue. And yet at the same time, I do not wish to be seen as..." Annabeth couldn't really find the right word. She had the feelings in her mind, but no way to express it. She allowed Ssarak to go through her wards to read her thoughts on it, as she she felt it was the best way for her to explain her thoughts simply by letting him listen to them. "I have seen many attractive people in the college, and I would have liked to know them better. But no one knows who I am, and can only judge me for what I look like. And should they see me with my warrior arms, what would they think? That I am simply a fighter who wishes to do battle? No, I would like to be a lover as well, but my body does not convey that message. Few who I speak to have negatives thoughts of my appearance, some even all it ugly. It is times like this I wish I could not read minds, as their thoughts lingers long into my memories. I know I know, I should not care so much about the opinion of strangers, but I was also raised to always look my best. And for whom? Strangers that I do not know, or perhaps ones who I would like to know more about. But some of those who I speak to look at me as though I am not someone they could see themselves with, and I know this. It is why I was also thinking, perhaps, changing my routine and diet again. I do not plan to lose my muscles, but perhaps try to make them more appealing. I have heard some who admire women with well defined musculature and look as though they were 'Carved from stone'. Wouldn't that be an interesting idea?" Annabeth took another sip from her canteen, but gargled the water and spat it into a waste bucket.
Ssarak listened intently to Annabeth's words, as well as her thoughts when she opened up her mind to allow him to read them. It certainly seemed as if this was something that weighed heavily on her mind. He supposed he could not truly understand the problems it gave her, as he was raised in entirely different circumstances with different expectations. Still, perhaps some of his words could be helpful to her.
"Were you Esyire, I do not believe it would be a problem for you. In my clan, a woman who is strong and capable would be seen as desirable. Some parts of your culture I do not believe I will ever truly understand. Regardless, I do suppose I can understand why this causes such conflict for you. I have been judged for my appearance on many occasions since leaving the Scorched Lands, though in a different way. Few who I came across regarded me as more than a brute or barbarian, and my size was simply intimidating to many. Obviously, I could not change that I am Esyire, so my options were to find a way to bear with it, or to return to my homeland. Perhaps I would have, had I not found the college. There are still plenty here who do not waste a moment in judging me, but I have come to realize that I do not care. It does not matter how many people dislike me for simply being what I am as long as I have a few good friends, such as yourself. I do not believe it worthwhile to attempt to satisfy everyone, as you may just end up disappointing yourself. If you are worried about finding a partner, you do not need to please everyone you see. You need only find one person who accepts you for who you are. Your choices are your own, of course. You will not find me making judgement on you for them, I simply believe you should avoid putting others' desires over your own happiness." Ssarak advised, his tone supportive.
Annabeth listened to Ssarak speak, her smile slowly growing. She was disappointing in herself for thinking that Ssarak was just dumb muscle oh so many months ago. He was quite supportive of her, soft spoken, and a calm person in general. Not the sort of calm that allowed one to merely be stoic; that was to suppress emotions. No, he had a sort of calming feeling that said that he understood the emotions going on, and instead of ignoring or keeping them down he simply chose the better of choices. Or at least that's how Annabeth felt about it. "Thank you, Ssarak." She sat closer to him and leaned on him, punching his armored scales affectionately. "I bet you were quite the lady's man before you came here, weren't you?" She was just joking, but Annabeth was also unaware of his past in the Scorched Lands. She knew lots about the Esyire through him, as well as some of the quirks and interests he had, but not much on his past. It was simply something that she never tried to get from him.
Ssarak chuckled lightly. The mental image of himself seducing the women of his village was amusing, even as it brought up painful memories of his family. "I would not quite say so. With how dedicated I was to serving as a warrior, the only reason I ever had a wife was because it was decided from birth. I do not believe I ever told you why I left the Scorched Lands, did I?" He asked, his expression turning a bit more serious.
Annabeth stopped leaning on Ssarak when he spoke about why he left the Scorched Lands. At first she was interested in hearing his story, but a look at his face told her that his tale was not a happy one. Especially when he mentioned his wife. Annabeth knew how some of these stories went; two people coming together as lovers, either on their own or arranged. But one had to leave the other behind, either in life or death. She already knew before Ssarak even began his story that he would be speaking of things near and dear to him. Annabeth was no stranger to such tales, hearing many oddly heart-felt ones in Underhaven. But as a friend, she felt that she needed to be more personally invested in it. "No, you have not. Do you... Wish to share?"
Ssarak nodded. "It is not something I speak of often, but...I can share the tale with you." He said, glancing around as he saw a few more people enter the gymnasium. "Though, perhaps somewhere not as...public."
Annabeth nodded her head, standing up and giving him one telepathic message before others came too close. "I know a place, follow me." After getting dressed and packing her things, she led Ssarak out of the gymnasium and into one of the main buildings. There, she took him through the maze that was the College's lower levels, until she reached the location of Underhaven. It wasn't open until later today, but using her worker's rune she was able to enter the door with Ssarak in tow. The bouncers came up to them, but upon seeing Annabeth they retreated, though they did ask about Ssarak. "He's with me." Was all that she needed to say before they left her alone. Passing the bar the goat demon simply known as Barkeep looked up to her. "My room key please." The demon tossed her a largely large key, made with an intricate pattern of carvings and holes, unlike most traditional keys. A little more walking and soon Annabeth and Ssarak were in a fairly large, comfortable room. Though Annabeth wasn't much of a drinker, she had some bottles of the tavern's better alcohol on the table near them, as well as a pitcher of water, juices, and a fizzy sweet drink that made bubbles. The room was rather dim, but the two mortals could see each other well enough. The last thing that Annabeth did was light a larger brazier at the center of the room. It provided additional heat, light, and a place for them to heat up snacks if they wanted any. Once she was done prepping the room, she took a seat on one of the room's many couches, which were almost as comfortable as the one that Tyrael was trying to get rid of. Except these wouldn't threaten to tear your intestines out of your body.
Ssarak could not say he was especially thrilled to end up in Underhaven. Annabeth had told him about it before, but it was not a place he normally would have gone to on his own. The demon patrons were of particular concern to him. He was not ignorant enough to assume all demons had malicious intent, but the very nature of what created a demon made them...suspect. Nevertheless, he entered upon Annabeth's request and followed her to her room, largely ignoring everyone else in the establishment.
"A tavern is not what would normally come to mind when I think of a private location, but I suppose it will work." Ssarak commented as he took a seat near Annabeth. The couch was small compared to him, but it was functional. He leaned back and closed his eyes for a moment, thinking on how much he should share. He was hardly the hero of his own tale, and he did not know if many would forgive him for his actions. Perhaps he did not deserve to be forgiven.
"I suppose I should begin, though I will say it is not a joyous tale, by any means. In my clan, marriages were always arranged from birth for various reasons, usually to bind families closer together. As soon as we were both of age, I was married to my wife, Riiska Dyreallanar. The following years were mostly normal. I trained to become a warrior, just as my father had been. He died when I was a child, you see, and I had always wanted to honor his memory. Through the course of a few years, I became a warrior in full and had three children with my wife. At that point, I would have said my life was proceeding perfectly, but I would not be here now if that had remained true. The short version of the story would be that I left because my wife, children, and much of my family were slaughtered in an attack by a rival clan on our village, but there is of course more to the story than that." He said, his tone becoming solemn as he lowered his head. "...much more
Listening to Ssarak's short tale, Annabeth had predicted correctly, though it did nothing to lessen the impact of what he said. His short, laconic version of his tale gave her the idea that it was indeed a very long and painful one. Annabeth was hesitant to ask him to continue, not wanting him to open up old wounds, but for all the help he gave her, the least she could do was hear him out. "Go on... But take your time. I will listen for you, Ssarak."
Ssarak nodded slowly, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath. "Very well, though I am afraid I am not the hero of this tale...far from it. All of the pain, all of the suffering my people felt, was my fault. Although it has been only a few years, it feels like it has been decades with how...different I used to be. I was not always the person I am. I used to be arrogant and, more importantly, angry. The death of my father is an old, well-healed wound, but I was always bitter about it. He perished in battle with our rival clan, the Xhoth. That was the reason I never became particularly skilled in my blood, as my father was the only psychomancer in the village. I resented them for it, more than most. I survived several battles with the Xhoth, but killing their soldiers did not temper my growing rage. I wanted to end the war...permanently. I wanted to destroy our enemy once and for all, so I acted against our traditions, against the code of honor both clans abide by. I convinced a sizable portion of my village's warriors, mostly young warriors such as myself, to attack a Xhoth village directly...and to kill all inhabitants. The raid was successful, but the cost was far great than I ever could have imagined. The Xhoth feigned an attack on a neighboring village of clan Dyre, drawing our warriors, myself included, away from my village. You can guess what happened next. When I returned, the village was ash, with few survivors. None of my family were among them.
Ssarak's hands were trembling, and he could do nothing more than stare blankly ahead. "When I buried my children in the ashes of what was once our home...I believe that is when the anger within me died, replaced by the far more sinister presence of regret. Although, I deserve all of the pain I feel, and much more beyond it. I caused the deaths of many innocents, both directly and indirectly, and yet I was not the one punished for it. My clan, my family, received all of the pain that rightfully belonged to me. I still do not know why I am alive and they are not. I suppose the sense of justice of whatever gods that control this world is not the same as my own. My purpose now...I do not really know what that is. I want to find a way to atone for what I have done, but I do not know if that is possible."
Breaking his blank stare, Ssarak reluctantly shifted his gaze over to Annabeth. "I suppose you can see why it is not a tale I readily share. It is a story in which I am the villain. It is not something I would expect anyone to forgive me for; it is not something I would forgive myself for."
Annabeth listened, but as the story continued, she found herself mixed between feeling sorry for Ssarak, and shocked. For someone who seemed so kind and understanding, to have done so much and had so much done to him... It was a lot to take in. And Annabeth feared that she did not have Ssarak's ways with word to sooth whatever pain that he may have. She was, really, speechless. For what seemed like a long time she and Ssarak sat in the darkness, their faces dimly lit by the brazier's embers. Soon she began to speak, trying to make sense of what Ssarak said. "You... You only did what you thought was best. An unknown eternity waging war against another clan was not a great future. You tried to stop that, and what happened afterwards was merely... Merely nothing you could have predicted. Your actions would be considered evil, but you were willing to do it out of necessity. If not you, someone else would have done it, but only after many more gruesome years of war." Annabeth felt that it was weak, but she continued to try to console her friend. "And... You have my sympathies for your family. I know it must have been a great pain to know what happened to them. You may think it is a fitting punishment for you, but even so you can grieve for them nonetheless. After all, what you did, it was only so they would not have to grow up and end up in the same situation as you were in."
The more Annabeth spoke, the less she thought her words were working. She wished she was strong enough with her magic to try to manipulate Ssarak's emotions, as wrong as that is. She poured her and Ssarak a drink of water, herself finishing the cup quickly before pouring herself another one. "But there is no harm in trying to find a way to make right of what you did. I cannot say what that may be... Something like that requires you to seek it out. Perhaps that in itself is a way to find redemption, to constantly do good in the right way. Live the rest of your life trying to solve mistakes until the very end." Annabeth's face grew red and hot, trying to find some words or way to show Ssarak that things were alright now. But they weren't. But she was still trying anyways. "I'm glad that you trust me so much that you are willing to tell me something so personal about yourself. I cannot say I have all the right answers to all of life's problems, but I will be willing to lend and ear and offer a helping hand. If nothing else I will always be here for you as your friend, as you have for me."
Ssarak was speechless. A look of utter shock came over his face. He had expected anger or distrust, not consoling words. He did not understand how anyone could forgive him for his actions, and yet...she had. Honestly, it did not matter what she said, the sheer fact that she was even trying to help him after hearing his sordid tale raised his spirits higher than they had been in quite some time.
"Th-thank you. I did not expect any measure of acceptance after what I have done, no matter how I have changed. I appreciate your words, truly I do, but I have long abandoned hope of justifying anything I did. It does not matter why I did it, my actions were inexcusable. The road to the Pit is paved with good intentions. As for what I am doing now, however...I believe you are right. It has been what I have been trying to do since leaving my homeland. I always attempt to do the right thing whenever and wherever I can. Perhaps I will have to save all of Tien before I could possibly be forgiven for my actions, but if that is what is required, then that is what I shall attempt to do. Again, I cannot thank you enough for your kindness. It is far more than I deserve." Ssarak said, a smile creeping on to his face. For the first time since he began his self-imposed exile, atonement almost seemed...possible.
"Don't lose hope yet!" Annabeth blurted out without much forethought. She quickly tried to back track as Ssarak spoke, hopefully unaware or at least quietly considering her shout out. Ssarak seem to have taken her previous words to heart through, despite her own thoughts that they were fairly shoddy attempts to be consoling. His smile was contagious as her own face began to light up with a small smirk. "It's not something you have to earn, Ssarak. It's just something that I have to give, is all." Her smile grew wider as Annabeth stood up and went to a closet. Inside was an assortment of snacks and such they could cook on the brazier. "Interested in anything to eat, Ssarak? While we're here anyways."
"Yes, thank you. I have not yet eaten, so I am starving, as I imagine you are as well." Ssarak responded, his mind quickly returning to their conversation. "I am still surprised that you are so forgiving, although I suppose I have never mentioned to anyone what happened before now. Since the beginning of my self-imposed exile, I have always considered atonement to be more of a dream than a potential reality, but maybe it is more attainable than I assumed. Not that it will be easy, by any means. I still have a long way to go, a lot of work to do. I have only saved one life since arriving at the college; I will need to save many more before I can hope to attain that goal."
As Annabeth operated the grill, she also spoke to Ssarak about his atonement. "I cannot say that I forgive you, but what you did isn't something for me to judge you on. I mean, what you did was... Evil, in a sense, but at the same time, it was a situational thing, you know? Perhaps here in the safety of the college such things would be wrong, but where you came from the alternative would be worse. All in all, I am shocked, but I won't think of you harshly for it." Annabeth skewered some nuts and assorted meats and veggies onto skewers, letting them roast over the grill of the brazier. "Atonement... It isn't something that the atoner chooses. So they can't really decide if they can or can't... They just have to keep trying something, anything. And have faith that, in the end, they've done all that they could." It was a hard thing for Annabeth to say. Basically amounted to "keep trying". But that's what it all boiled down to really. Skill, luck, ability, none of that mattered if you weren't going to put them to use. Perhaps she wasn't the best person to talk to Ssarak about this, but the fact that he was willing to talk to her about it said that he at least valued her opinion.
"Food's done! It's a bit dry since I didn't prepare any sauce, but it should keep us full." Annabeth placed down various shishkebabs of assorted meats and veggies, as well as a plate of roasted nuts. Annabeth also traded her water for the bubbling sweet juice. The fizzy texture was a surprise at first, but it went down with no trouble. It was very sweet though, likely not good for her health if she drank so much of it.
"It is no issue. I do not think you will find me too selective with my meals." Ssarak commented, gladly taking his share of the the food she had cooked. He decided to keep his water, namely because he did not actually know what it was she was drinking. "Anyway, I believe you are correct. Certainly, I do not intend on giving up. Unfortunately, it is not too often that someone is in need of a hero, but I will take the opportunities when I can."
True to his word, Ssarak wolfed down the meal she had prepared, as he had quite the voracious appetite, especially after a workout. He usually had trouble remembering the table manners humans expected, though he doubted that Annabeth would care, being a close friend. From what he had gathered, such rituals were commonly only observed at formal gatherings. "Perhaps we should move away from such...unsavory topics? This place, Underhaven is it? I have never been here before. Living in the college, I know I should be accustomed the the presence of demons, but I must admit that being in a place such as this is slightly unsettling. Being that you are a mortal, I cannot imagine all of the clientele treat you with respect."
Annabeth ate at a moderate pace. She tried not to "Stuff her face", but sometimes she did bite off more than she could chew. But after a few swigs of the fizzy drink, the food went down all the same. Ssarak, not wanting to talk about the previous topic, decided to ask about Underhaven. She could do that fairly well, she imagined. "Admittedly I stumbled upon here by accident. I was asked to find someone on behalf of Satori, and she told me to find this place. I searched and searched, but never seemed to be able to find it. I asked a guardsman, who directed me to a golem, who simply brought me to a wall. I loitered around for quite some time before a... Demon... Showed up. I had to admit, I was scared. It was only me and the demon in the lower levels, and I only had my dagger with me that day. But the demon simply asked me why I was there, and when he explained things, he showed me inside." Between her words and eating, Annabeth took out a amulet from her bag. "Underhaven has multiple entrances, but each one require a special rune to open. It's to prevent those who would try to do harm to demons or vampires from going in and causing trouble. As for the usual patrons, they are not so bad. Subtle, infact. Though their fury does tend to boil, it's never directed towards me so much as it is towards other patrons. Usually the demons use their magic and take their fight elsewhere, but sometimes the bouncers would come in and kill them quickly. They aren't so brutal with vampires, but it happens. It was quite shocking at first, and even now when a fight breaks out I get scared, but the demons never seem to bother me or other 'mortals', as they call us. Even the vampires seem to ignore me so long as I do not try to attract their attention." Annabeth began to crack open and eat some nuts, washing away their salty aftertaste with some water.
"That being said, I always do feel out of place there. Everyone there is either a demon or a vampire. I always hear them talk about things like who they've killed recently, or how their last meal was like. Sometimes I feel they only talk about it when I'm around, just to scare me. Or maybe it's simply by chance..." Annabeth continued eating her nuts as she tried to think of things to ask Ssarak. She wanted to try to stray as far away from topics about his former home or his exile. The college seemed to be the best thing to talk about, so she made something up. "So, I've heard that you also have been taking extra classes from Satori. Between the usual work she has for us and my job, I haven't really focused my time on much else. I'm interested to know what you've learned from her so far."
Ssarak's expression showed some concern as Annabeth explained the details of her work. It seemed dangerous for her to always be around such volatile patrons. She could certainly defend herself, but if she was not armed and facing a demon, the bouncer would be the only other line of defense. Other than her psychomancy, of course. When the conversation shifted toward Ssarak's private lessons, a bit of a grin came over his face once more. "Indeed I have." He said, standing up and activating an invisibility spell all at the same time. Given their training session earlier, he could not keep it up long, but it was more than enough time to make his way behind the couch she was sitting on and look down on her from above. He spread out his wings to make himself appear larger in her field of vision, then ended his invisibility. "My dedication to my training has granted me a few new abilities. I have not had time for much else, but I would say it has been worth it. Invisibility, improved wards and telepathy, and the ability to switch between wide and focused psychomancy are some of what she as taught me. I believe you would enjoy taking private lessons, even if it means a somewhat reduced stream of revenue."
"Oh my!" Annabeth shouted with glee when Ssarak vanished. She had seen others do the same spell themselves, but it was more exciting when Ssarak preformed it. When he appeared he had his wings spread out and his entire body was over her. Despite the increase in size, it wasn't until his spell ended that she actually saw him.
"Indeed! That does seem rather tempting... Do you think Satori would be willing to take in another student? Especially since I still plan to work here, if only part time." Annabeth's own thoughts on Satori was fairly low. Though much time has passed since the opening ceremony, Annabeth would like their relationship to be nothing more than a professional teacher-to-student one. Personally, Annabeth found Satori much to apathetic to the feeling of others. She could not say that she does not know how others feel or think without lying, so often anything she does to bother her students were done intentionally, not due to any sort of misunderstanding. She was still a good teacher, but Annabeth simply found her personality to be too carefree for her taste.
"I believe so. Her motivations may be unknowable, but she seems dedicated to her role as an instructor. If she is capable of it, I imagine she would take you on for private lessons. I admit I would be more at ease if you took those lessons. I doubt you carry an axe with you while working at this place, so psychomancy would be the next best way to defend yourself. Actually, once we become experienced enough, our psychomancy will outstrip anything we can do with a weapon. It could be used to avoid conflict entirely. The concept of never having to fight again is... Exciting to me." Ssarak answered, pulling his wings back into their normal position.
Annabeth giggled as Ssarak's enthusiasm for magic. She had to admit, while the material itself is long and confusing at best, when she manages to cast a spell she felt a certain rush from it. She could only imagine what she could do when she becomes more skilled. "Indeed. Psychomancy is quite an entertaining magic. Perhaps, later today, I'll see if I could ask my boss about arranging my scedual to accommodate my extra lessons from Satori." Annabeth finished off the rest of her nuts and lounged on the couch, looking at Ssarak. "Ssarak, I don't mean to gossip, but what do you think of some of the other teachers? I've met Uicle, and despite his misfortune, he seems like an kind fellow... Quirks aside. I've also met with Lidda, very kind but also very eccentric. I've only seen Lucilia occasionally in Underhaven, and she always seems to be busy with something. When she's in Underhaven, it seems like she's only there to solve a problem. I've also seen Khan around the college, I'm not entirely sure what he does, but I'm surprised that he's a demonmancer. The current demonmancer teacher... Well, he scares me. In a way. I've seen him in Underhaven too, and all the demons listen to him. But he's so... Cruel? I've seen him kill some people..." The entire cast for the college's teachers were all strange in their own ways, but some more frightening than others.
"Honestly, I do not know most of them very well. My days are generally filled between classes, exercise, and training. I cannot say that I regret not knowing Tyrael, honestly. His demonstration in the opening feast spoke volumes about his personality...of course Satori's was hardly peaceful as well. I would not say I trust Satori necessarily, but perhaps I should not be so judgmental. Overall, I would not say I envy Khan. He has the task of keeping the college together through the myriad of challenges it faces. He has to keep Satori, Tyrael, and any other unstable staff in line, he has to deal with hordes of dignitaries, he has to make decisions I have never even thought of having to face. I am afraid I was at least partially responsible for one of the issues he had to face only a day after my arrival. It was due to my psychomancy that Althalus mated with Mar and put them in their current predicament. Of course, I would say pregnancy is preferable to death, in that case." He said with a chuckle. His own thoughts on the situation were mixed. He did feel partially responsible for the situation and wanted to be helpful, but he doubted Mar would be accepting of any aid.
"Wait wait wait wait. Mar's pregnant!?" This was news to her. Just about everyone knew about the naga and how she was the "pet" of the demonmancy teacher (Though the two are going through a bit of a rough patch right about now). Most also knew that Mar and Althalus were roommates. But for Mar to be pregnant with Althalus's child? That was almost as shocking as Ssarak's personal story. "How did this happen? She never seemed to be the type to really involve herself romantically... But I can't imagine someone like Althalus to force himself on her, certainly not. But how do you come into all of this? Did you give Althalus some tips to woo Mar?" Annabeth promised herself not to gossip, but this was too interesting to let go. It would explain why the demonmancer teacher seems so ornery as of late, as his possessiveness of the Naga was well known, like she was his daughter or something.
Ssarak scratched his head a moment as he moved to take a seat. "Oh, right, I never told you about that. It is a complicated situation, and I do not have all of the details myself. It did not start off as you think. Quite the opposite, Mar came very close to killing Althalus. I do not know exactly what caused it, but when Mar returned from her hunt on the second day we were here, something had influenced her to become exceptionally angry. Althalus was attempting to stop her for some reason, and she lashed out at him with her scythe, fully intent on killing him. I was in the courtyard as well and witnessed these events unfold. Mar had Althalus in her coils when I intervened. I projected a cloud of psychomantic gas over the pair, which calmed Mar's anger, but it also had other effects, akin to various drugs. Unfortunately, I did not have near the stamina then as I do now, so I was too exhausted to focus on keeping them separated. As I went off to Satori's class, they went off to a private room and, well now Mar bears Althalus' child. I know little more than that, as Mar is not the most...social individual. I have scarcely ever spoken to her. Personally, I did not know humans and Naga were interfertile, though I suppose I should not be surprised. It seems many of Tiien's races are compatible in that nature, as evidenced by students such as Aruna."
Annabeth hasn't even been to class and she's already learning something. She already knew of Eysire's ability to breath the magic of their blood, but she had never expected Ssarak to have been able to subdue the naga and human, as well as make them sexually charged enough to really go through the ritual of baby making. Annabeth was almost tempted to ask him how he did it when he mentioned Aruna. She knew of the half-eysire, if only in passing. She did always wonder how Aruna would feel about someone like Ssarak. Annabeth could see the two together and thought it would make for a cute couple, but also kept any thoughts about relationships for Ssarak to herself. He was once married. "But wait, if this happened on the second day... I do not know much about nagas, but do you think her child... Hmm. I do wonder what her baby would be like once it's conceived. I know!" Annabeth stood up and looked towards Ssarak. "We should get them gift for their child! You, after all, were the one to make it all possible. Oh, if only I were able to be there! I mean, I don't know what I'd do, but it's certainly a momentous time. A naga and human child... Yes, we should be present for it's birth! But we need presents first. I know who we could go to; Val! I'm sure she could make something for the baby."
Ssarak was surprised by Annabeth's sudden excitement, and nervous all at the same time. There was a reason he had not attempted to speak to Mar. She was not very approachable at the best of times, and with her child coming closer to being born...he did not know if trying to become involved would be a good idea. "I, um, I do not know if that is a good idea. Mar is far from a kind individual, and certainly not sociable. She may not appreciate the sentiment of a gift. Althalus might, but not her. I would not know what would be appropriate for a Naga-Human child. Both are different in many ways; I can only guess what form it will take."
Annabeth would not back down so easily. "Nonsense! A gift is a gift! And for a child, we have to make sure it's something that will help her grow but also enjoy life. Maybe... Maybe a toy of some sort? A rattle perhaps, or maybe a doll! But if the child is part naga, it will have to be a strong doll. I've seen what Mar is capable of, no doubt the baby will inherit her mother's strength. Come on now Ssarak, this is no time to be scared! It is a joyous thing to happen. Don't worry, I'll get us two gifts, one that I can give and one you can give! Come on now~" Annabeth reached over and tried to pull Ssarak to the door, off to find Val and get something for the baby-to-be.
Although Ssarak did not resist when Annabeth began to pull him toward the door, he was regretting bringing up Mar's pregnancy. Her intentions were certainly good, but he could not imagine this ending well. "Alright, but I would like to say that I find this a very bad idea. There are many, many more ways this can go wrong than it can go right." He said nervously as he followed behind her. As much as he wanted to remove himself from the situation, he did not want to be absent if Annabeth ended up in a confrontation with Mar. For both their sakes, he hoped she was right.
"There's always a chance for bad things to happen, But we can't give up a chance of doing good just because of it!" After handing her keys back to Barkeep, Annabeth and Ssarak left Underhaven and headed topside to find Val. All the while Annabeth was thinking about what they should try to get for Mar, which she allowed Ssarak to telepathically converse about. "It has to be something we can give to a boy or girl. I'm thinking we should get a soft baby blanket, white like the snow. Or maybe some sort of stuffed animal! But it has to be a neutral color, wouldn't want to embarrass the child later in his or her life with a doll that makes them seem too childish. But if it's an animal, what should it be? I think it may be in bad taste if we simply gave her a snake... Maybe a dog, or a cat." Annabeth's thoughts just continued to rattle off ideas as they looked for Val.
