[OOC] Dragon Ball: Leviathan

[Dead Cruiser]

Two teams would probably be sufficient, given the division of characters that we currently appear to possess.

[Unraveller]

With everything as it is now, I don't believe there really is a good division of different positions, I could be wrong. Honestly, I'm not all that sure what role Atlas would fulfill at this point.

[ChronoBovino]

Just saying this to specify I'm here

[Unraveller]

What a crispy nugget of shit that has landed upon the IC. I take it there is no way to remove posts?

[Javier]

What a crispy nugget of shit that has landed upon the IC. I take it there is no way to remove posts?

@Unraveller

Mods delete spam posts entirely so people who haven't seen it won't know it happened, just wait for a mod to get on.

[Unraveller]

Well that's a relief, don't know if I could handle having to scroll through so much just to get to the next post.

[Gowi]

Aw, I missed the spammer? Boo. Anyway I'll be looking at applications today to see what I like so far. I'll probably edit the space below with reviews for completed CS's only:

@King Kindred
I’m going to have to see abilities & techniques finished before I go into a full review, but there is some awkward bits I probably should address prematurely. My biggest curiosities with Taroga is his backstory: I’d like to know how he went to possible prisoner to a member of the ISF, because I doubt that if he was arrested that they’d be like “instead of a jail cell he should be given a badge!” – the backstory feels incomplete, but I think it has potential and merit. Show me more and of course show me his techniques and I’ll probably be okay with it!

@Unraveller
I know Arlian’s can be big and your major selling point I suppose is playing an “over-sized cockroach”, but how necessary is it to make him over seven feet? This is not a demand but rather a question since I feel curious about his size. As for the second point of discussion with your character: in this continuity, Vegeta and Nappa did not travel to Earth so considering (if my memory is correct) that their planet was only visited as a pit stop on the duo’s travel to the planet, would it not be still existent at this point in time?

@Hillan
Since I imagine Konats was aided by the ISF in this continuity and by proxy would not be destroyed by Hirudegarn, the prospect of a Konatsian is fine. Moving on the only issue I can possibly see if I’m being nitpicky is the fact is “he never bends the rules” – if that is so why has he been assigned to a secret off-the-books taskforce that is pretty unorthodox itself when it comes to legality and such?

@Kal-El
Not any observations on this one or problems with it, I'm tempted to accept you already.

@Karl Kadaver
Perhaps touch up Evim’s development, and some insight into Dr. Zadra. Other than that I’d say adding in a few sentences or two throughout the sheet would be preferable but not really required. I think I’ll have little issues in making it work, though with two android sheets I will have to be a bit creative.

@Dead Cruiser
I think my biggest issues is that Borea seems to excel at all schools of psionic power, which is… worrying. Of which I’m most concerned with is telepathy. If you are going to be competent with telekinesis, ESP, and illusions I’m going to have to request that this be completely cut down or nerfed because as it stands it is the one thing that I feel is a bit off. I like the characterization and goals, but let’s work on the powers so our co-writers aren’t offset yeah?

@ChronoBovino
The backstory feels like cliff notes and seem not really developed, the CS isn’t very descriptive, and I’m not completely sure it’s at the level I feel comfortably criticizing and accepting for the game. If it were to be brought to standards of the rest of the playerbase perhaps it could be malleable but as it stands I’m not sure about it at all.

@TheUnknowable
Probably going to have to work on equipment (ISF has their own ships and our characters will be assigned undercover vessels for this mission), abilities could be detailed similarly to other sheets though I don’t mind the innate tech abilities or the telekinesis as it seems fairly balanced, but there are some awkward bits with the backstory such as him hacking WTO servers? If it was that easy I imagine the ISF would have a lot more information on the WTO. Though his vigilantism is an interesting angle, I find it obtuse that the ISF would just recruit as implied. Could use some work around the edges.

I'm still waiting for posted applications from @Rin, my AGM @dblade26, @clanjos and others.

[TheUnknowable]

"Probably going to have to work on equipment (ISF has their own ships and our characters will be assigned undercover vessels for this mission), abilities could be detailed similarly to other sheets though I don’t mind the innate tech abilities or the telekinesis as it seems fairly balanced, but there are some awkward bits with the backstory such as him hacking WTO servers? If it was that easy I imagine the ISF would have a lot more information on the WTO. Though his vigilantism is an interesting angle, I find it obtuse that the ISF would just recruit as implied. Could use some work around the edges."

Actually, he hacked their clients, not them. Example. Space Microsoft is building Xbox Ones on Freeza Planet 617, AKA Sonata, using slave labor. The police can't look too deeply into it because Space Bill Gates made some generous campaign donations, but I don't care. I find evidence of not only that, but that he spent 1 million Spacedollars on an Arlien prostitute, and the news agency learns about it.

I could turn it into a kind of "build insect camera and have it follow them." thing, like Dr. Gero, though.

If he turned over his info/tech to them, would that be enough to earn their trust?

[Unraveller]

@Unraveller
I know Arlian’s can be big and your major selling point I suppose is playing an “over-sized cockroach”, but how necessary is it to make him over seven feet? This is not a demand but rather a question since I feel curious about his size. As for the second point of discussion with your character: in this continuity, Vegeta and Nappa did not travel to Earth so considering (if my memory is correct) that their planet was only visited as a pit stop on the duo’s travel to the planet, would it not be still existent at this point in time?

@Gowi

Well for starters there is absolutely no necessity in having be large. And honestly I hadn't even considered 7 feet to be all THAT large. And yes, my whole thing was imagining this 'gentle giant' of a cockroach, with that said, I can easily modify it to anything you'd prefer.

As for the second part, I had it in my mind (And I'm not sure how accurate it is) that Vegeta and Nappa had stopped on Arlia because they were supposed to scout the planet and such for trade, which they deemed it not fit for. It was either that or they simply went there because they were bored, probably the later. Again, that is a pretty easy thing to change as it isn't so integral to Atlas's story.

Any other outstanding issues with the backstory, or perhaps techniques?

[King Kindred]

@King Kindred
I’m going to have to see abilities & techniques finished before I go into a full review, but there is some awkward bits I probably should address prematurely. My biggest curiosities with Taroga is his backstory: I’d like to know how he went to possible prisoner to a member of the ISF, because I doubt that if he was arrested that they’d be like “instead of a jail cell he should be given a badge!” – the backstory feels incomplete, but I think it has potential and merit. Show me more and of course show me his techniques and I’ll probably be okay with it!

@Gowi

Yeah, I can edit the backstory to fix that. What do you think would be the best time frame for him being a prisoner to being a member?

[Javier]

It 's nice to see the troll is gone.

[Dead Cruiser]

Telepathy was the power for Borea that I was going to have him develop and rely on most. What can I cut or nerf other than that to work it in less worryingly?

I didn't really see a place to emphasize it in the CS, but Borea is 100% squishy wizard. Battle is far from his forte, and in it, he requires a lot of support in order to pull his weight. He's far more focused on utility outside of combat.

[ChronoBovino]

@Gowi I see well I see no way but to agree with your standards my CS should have lived up to your capabilities which it did not therefore since that was the best of my abilities I'm afraid I will have to drop out

Sry GOOD LUCK :D

[Karl Kadaver]

@Gowi

Duly noted. I'll try to come up with something, I just need a little time.

[Cerberus0807]

Can people join this still or? what?

[Gowi]

Can people join this still or? what?

@Cerberus0807

I think I should lock down applications at this time considering I have a big potential group.

[Javier]

I'm still waiting for posted applications from @Rin, my AGM @dblade26, @clanjos and others.

Me?

[Gowi]

<Snipped quote>

Me?

@Javier

I don't think you've posted it in the OOC yet, I've seen a early version in PM sure but I cannot exactly count that can I?

[Javier]

<Snipped quote by Javier>

I don't think you've posted it in the OOC yet, I've seen a early version in PM sure but I cannot exactly count that can I?

@Gowi

I suppose I'll post that since there have been no edits requested

[Javier]

My CS

Name
Cress
Age
34 Galactic Standard Years
Species
Saiyan
Attribute
Combat, basically Cress is the guy to call when you need to barge into a place to fight criminals. He has the capability and the mindset required to simply fight any criminal he encounters until they're defeated. His array of abilities and combat skills he acquired from being a Saiyan ensure his success in his fight to put down any and every criminal he encounters.
Personality & Appearance
Cress stands at about 5'8" which is about average for his race... or what's left of it. He has dark brown hair that isn't too neat and is sort of long, going below his shoulders with a weird "multi-spiked" shape throughout his hair. He has green eyes with his right eye constantly covered by his hair or his scouter. He is rather imposing physically, as continuously going on missions when Planet Vegeta existed kept him in excellent physical shape. Cress also has rather long arms and legs with large feet and hands at the end, nothing too strange but still big.

Cress is not your first first choice when thinking of who to hang out with can come accross as egotistical, but is really goodhearted. His belief is that anyone who attempts to harm others' lives deserve to pay for their actions, which is why he's with the ISF. Honesty and respect will always land you on Cress' good side as he can't stand liars or people with absolutely no respect. There is no patience within Cress; he will blow up to pretty much anything he finds bad and is not one to give second chances. All in all, Cress isn't exactly the best kind of person on the outside, but he really is kind and caring if he trusts you.
Weaponry & Equipment
-ISF Badge
-Standard ISF Blaster
-Scouter
-Standard Saiyan battle armor
-Modified chestplate for higher impact resistance
Abilities & Techniques
Solar Flare- Cress can conjure up a flare of light that can temporarily blind oponents to make for effective escapes or distractions.

Death's Daughter- The name comes from a certain ship he once came accross on one of his missions that delivered cannon barrages like this one. Cress summons up dozens of energy balls to then shoot them down in an area at extreme speeds with one big one hitting right at the end of it all in the center of the barrage.

Infernal Moon- Cress throws crescent moon-shaped energy that can slice through the target (if their molecular bonds are weak) but most of the time it will cut very deep and set anything or anyone it touches ablaze.

Gamma Ray- This is Cress' strongest technique, he focuses his hands over the center of his chest to form a source of energy, and then releases it in the form of a blast that can desintegrate a target with weak molecular bonds or burn the internals and externals of said target with the possibility to kill through the inflicted burns.
Backstory
Cress was born on Planet Vegeta to parents who were too busy with missions and other things to pay any attention to him. From a young age he went on mission after mission, completing the jobs Frieza assigned and not much else. When he was about 10, as he was returning from a mission, the planet blew up with the blast blowing him away into another solar system's planet, injuring his head and removing his memory. In this planet, lived some interesting slug-like beings that were peaceful in nature and adopted Cress.

It was from these beings that Cress learned the values of respect, honesty, and being a good person. These slug people continued to keep Cress living among them and even taught him a little bit of science which he could find useful later on in life. Cress even got new "parents" that he found in these people which provided for him he care he never got from his biological parents which changed a lot of his thoughts. His sad views into more optimistic views and added more time for reflexion on his life.

This reflexion allowed him to improve himself over the course of many years but he never found somewhere to use this new strength. The slug people began speaking of a police force called the ISF. Cress at first didn't want to join this police force, but through months of thought, he realized he needed to leave to join ISF even if it mean leaving his "family". Cress soon realized that if he wanted to help people, he needed to join the ISF. He went to his adoptive parents to ask about joining, to which he got the location of the Academy, which comes before the actual ISF.

Cress took with him this knowledge from the slug people and went off in search of this organization. Years later he enrolled in the ISF Academy with excellent results, which was to be expected from a Saiyan. His intention with joining the ISF was to stop criminals so they couldn't hurt others like he was hurt when his planet blew up, which he only found out about through the slug people. Cress was given a badge and a blaster and a recommendation for the operation, and has moved on from the Academy to being an ISF officer to finally accomplish his goal of helping others.