Taphy
Location: The Parking Lot -> Tas's apartment
Interacting With: With Each Other
Time: Late Afternoon/Early Evening - Well after everyone has left for the trip.
Murphy checked the time on his phone before slipping it back in his pocket; he hoped that she would show up soon enough. Leaning back against the brick wall he pulled the cigarette from between his lips and looked up at the sky. He hoped everything was alright. When Claire had called him she had been worried beyond anything he had ever heard before. He couldn't exactly blame her, Tas meant the world to Claire; hell now a days Tas meant the world to him. Soon as he found out she was missing he felt his heart dropped to the pit of his stomach and it knot up. It hadn't done that since the day his wife was killed when he was younger. It was at that moment that he knew his feelings for Tas had moved well beyond just something floating on the surface.
A sly grin formed as he thought about the first time he had met her. Claire and Tas had just gotten off the plane in Boston, they were there for one of Claire's fights. He had been so excited to see his little sister but when his eyes fell onto the woman she was gabbing with his heart skipped a beat. She was beautiful and had a smile that just lit up the area around her. Murphy being Murphy, a guy seeing a hot woman, he turned on the charm. It had always worked for him in the past. It didn't that day. She just rolled her eyes and made a quip about him needing to go back to his potatoes because they'd keep him warmer at night than she ever would. To some that was a comment that could have offended, to Murphy it just intrigued him. The more he tried to win her over the more she pushed back but it was never a full out
get the fuck away, more of an annoyed
don't you ever give up? When they left Murphy found himself a bit sad over it. Over the week he may not have gotten anywhere really with Tasha but he learned a lot about her and when he wasn't flirting his Irish ass off they would just talk and joke. She surprised him, which was rare. She was funny, caring, could fight, and just cool to hang out with. Which of course made him flirt more, then she'd go cold. Soon as he would stop she would warm up again. So he played it cool the rest of their trip and when she left he missed just chewing the fat with her. He figured that would be as far as he ever got with her but that didn't stop him from trying anytime he visited Claire. The way he looked at it, he would rather fall flat on his face a thousand times than to say he didn't try.
When he and Connor visited for Natalya's birthday he was beyond happy to see Tasha, even though it was only for a few minutes here and there. He had at least gotten to dance with her a bit. After that was when things started to change. He and Tasha were working with Claire for two of her upcoming finals; well Tasha was working with her on three of them. One was a duet that Tasha and Claire were singing together while he played the acoustic and that one was fine and dandy. The other was the one that seemed to be changing the tides with him and Tasha. It was a duet for a music video Claire had to produce; a ballad duet between him and Tasha. Working close to her, constantly singing to her, her to him, recording scenes over and over, talking over skype and texting to try to work out kinks; things seemed to be changing. He just hoped he hadn't been reading more into it than was there.
Then she vanished and was gone. Lowering his head the same feeling came back to him stomach as he flicked the spent cigarette away to the sidewalk and sighed. That had been a horrid ten days, not knowing if she was okay. He never wanted to feel that way again. He was sitting under a windowsill smoking when the text came through from Claire that Tas was not going on the trip to Disneyland and that she would be in San Fran, alone until everyone got back. Murphy had hit his head when he jumped up but it didn't phase him. A quick call to his brother Connor and his parents and he was on a plane out to the West Coast, a cab ride later and he was at her door. He had knocked for a while but it was clear she wasn't home. He ended up going outside and leaning against the building hoping to see her soon. So there he was, waiting for her to show up; so they could talk. It probably wasn't a good time but life was short. If you didn't go after what was really important to you with everything you had when you had the chance it was your own damn fault if you never were given another. Those ten days he worried he had missed his chance so the next flight out was to sunny California and there he stood waiting with a bouquet of flowers being held in one hand. Just a simple
bouquet that he had picked out in the local farmers market. Granted it wasn't roses but Tasha never seemed like a rose girl, all formal though the thorns were perhaps fitting now that he thought about it. She was more of a wild girl to him, so why not something that seemed more like she was? Maybe he was overthinking it.
His eyes lifted from the bouquet as he heard Tasha come up and he smiled over to her; it didn't matter what she had been through, how much weight was on her shoulders or what she wore; she still made his breath catch. Tasha perked a brow as she looked at Murphy, seeing the flowers in his hand.
What is he up to this time? That was the thought that passed through her mind. Seeing him there, today, hadn't been something she thought she would be dealing with that morning when she woke up. Then again, Murphy was anything but predictable. Granted, as much as she didn't want to admit it, seeing him did improve her spirits. He may have been a relentless flirt but he was a good man, that she knew. He had a heart of gold and it didn't hurt that he was a bit of a looker with the voice of an angel when he wasn't tricking people with his Boston Banshee Wails.
"Hey Lass." Murphy pushed off the wall and stepped over to her, hugging her gently. Tasha returned the hug and smiled slightly as he handed her the flowers.
"For you, hope you like." He gave her a cheeky grin as he rubbed the back of his neck.
"Hello Murphy and yes, they're beautiful. Thank you," she said as she looked at them smiling softly. There was that smile he adored. She glanced over to him as her fingers ran over the petals of one of the flowers.
"So, what are you doing here Irish?" "Hey, can't a guy fly 3,000 miles to give a girl flowers just because?" he asked her, laughing slightly as he did.
"Um, no," she quipped in return with a smirk on her lips.
"Well, that's a damn shame. I guess I gotta stick around, you know because just because isn't an acceptable answer." "Murphy..." Tas said as she eyed him, her voice trailing off a bit as it seemed she really didn't have the patience to play around right then.
"Spit it out." Murphy sighed, seemed his playful manner wasn't helping them just then. He should have known, it really never had gotten him anywhere with her; at least not when he trying anything with her. Thing was though, he really didn't know how to go about this now that she just wanted a direct answer. This wasn't something that he exactly wanted to just spit out there. He wanted it to feel right, right then it didn't.
"Think we could just talk?" he asked her as he shoved his hand into his pocket.
"We could take a walk," he said motioning off into the distance to no where in particular.
"I really don't feel like walking right now Murphy," she admitted. Right then she wanted to crawl into bed and sleep; for a really long time.
"Alright.. Um, where would you like to go?" "To bed." "Works for me!" he exclaimed happily and Tasha shot him a look that could kill if he took it seriously. Well he did but he wasn't going to let that stop him.
"Alone," she hissed.
"Alright, alright, but seriously if you're a bit tired, why not head up to your apartment and we can talk there? Can kick me out anytime you want. Cross me heart," he said as he placed one hand to his heart and the other up into the air as if he was giving an oath.
"Out the window?" she smirked as her arms crossed over her chest.
"Anything you want lass, have me word." Tasha eyed him for long moment in silence, which made him a bit nervous. Last thing he wanted was for her to just leave him standing there alone and having to just blurt everything out as he walked off. Yeah, that would make for a smooth moment. Finally Tas nodded and motioned for him to follow her; as she did he let out the breath he had been holding all that time.
Okay, now just to hope I don't actually get thrown out a window, he thought as they made their way up to her room.
Tasha sat down on the edge of her bed, dropping her bag to the floor as she laid the flowers down next to her gently. Letting out a long breath she leaned over, resting her elbows on her knees and rubbing out her hands a bit as she stared at the ground. She looked weary but not near as worn out as she felt inside. The woman that seemed to be able to take on the world felt as if she was stretched to her limits. She had decided at the last minute not to go on the trip and had spent part of the day either in thought or out walking around San Fran trying not to think. She had made a choice and it had helped some but it wasn't anywhere as much time as she needed to heal. That would take real time. Time without feeling as if she had to carry the weight of the world on her shoulders and the guilt of being unable to help her parents. Time to just find the once vibrant person she had been, time to heal, time to deal with her own demons.
Murphy looked at her, a sorrowful look on his face as he studied her. She looked like a shell of her former self and it pained him. Kneeling down in front of her he reached up and brushed her hair back, tucking it behind her ears.
"Tasha, talk to me." His voice was gentle and worried as he took her hands. Tasha just closed her eyes, she didn't know if she was frustrated right then and wanted to yell for him to get out, that she didn't want to talk, or to just collapse and let it all out.
"Please..." She still didn't answer, just letting her eyes drift open instead and staring blankly at their hands together. Tasha wasn't exactly one to open up about things, most everything going on within her was held tight to her heart and surrounded by walls built up over years. Only one person really ever was able to get her to open up fully but even then she kept somethings hidden. Murphy was sweet but she couldn't really find it in herself to open up, no matter how much worry strained in his voice.
Murphy shook his head, he knew how bad things could be if one bottled up everything; he had after his wife died. He nearly lost himself. It took Claire and Connor finally pushing him to a breaking point for him to snap out of it. Granted, when he did it had ended in a huge fight between the three of them and when his family fights it is more fists than words but in the end it had been the best thing for him. He finally started healing after that point. He didn't want to push Tasha but if it meant she finally let it all out it would be for the best. Even if she ended up hating him in the end or giving him a black eye. He'd survived fights his entire life, what was another one under his belt? Taking a deep breath, he steeled his resolve, he was going to take a chance and wasn't going to let up until it was all out on the table. Mary mother of god... here we go...
"Tasha, come on. Talk to me. No more of this silent treatment Lass," Murphy stated quickly as he squeezed her hands gently but his voice was firm as he spoke. Tas still didn't say anything, but she did pulled her hands away from him and rested them on the edge of the bed next to her, gripping the comforter uneasily.
"It's okay, just let it out." She still didn't say anything and looked away from his direction as he rested his hands on her knees.
"Tasha!" he said more forcefully as he slipped over and looked into her eyes. Still nothing as she looked away again. Another deep breath and he moved to the other side of her and looked at her once again.
"Tasha!" he yelled, getting right into her face.
"What!?!" she finally yelled back; flinging her hands up into the air, her eyes glistening as her lips thinned.
"Talk to me damn it!" he retorted quickly, he wasn't going to let her shut back down now that she had at least said something.
"About what? What the hell do you want to know?" she hissed as her eyes narrowed at him.
"What's going on inside that head of yours!" Tasha looked away again, she didn't want to open up. She felt it was a weakness. It wasn't when others opened up and trusted her but to her she was the doctor, she wasn't supposed to be the patient. Doctors fixed things, they didn't need fixing. She didn't want to admit she needed fixing. Murphy stood up, clutching her shoulders and pulling her to her feet, he wasn't going to give up now.
"Now Tasha!" Tas stood there for a moment, like a deer caught in headlights. Not sure if she should run or not. Suddenly Murphy stumbled back as her hands pressed to his chest and she shoved him back hard. All of that hurt and pain contorting her face and unleashing in that shove. Had it been any other time Murphy would have been impressed by the amount of strength she held within her tiny slender form. Right then though he didn't have the luxury. Her fist balling up as she stepped forward, shoving a single finger into his chest.
"What do you want to hear Irish?! That I am falling apart? That I am not strong enough to keep rushing to everyone else's aide? That I stay up nights going over notes; trying to help keep one person alive and keep another from cracking? That I am afraid that if I don't keep going I will end up failing another person? Is that what you fucking want to hear?" She was shouting now, her finger kept thrusting into his chest over and over again. Murphy stood there, leaning closer, leering over her but she didn't back down and neither did he.
"Yes and everything else you have bottled up Tasha, come on, I know you got more than that," he nearly growled as he got in her face, cupping her face in his hands as he rested her temple against hers. She grabbed his arms and pulled them away roughly.
"What else? That I am stretched so thin I feel like people can see right through me? That they can see my weaknesses and vulnerability and it makes me sick to my stomach?" Her hands pressing to her stomach, her eyes wide and her breath heaving.
"Then fucking lean on someone! That's what they're for!" "I'm a doctor! I'm supposed to fix shit!" "You're fucking human Tasha, now come on! Stop this, you don't have to carry everyone elses problems! You have your own!" Murphy said, his hands flying in the air, pointing at her and elsewhere as he stepped closer; be unrelenting in his words.
"Like you know a damn thing about me," she said in a huff as she turned around, refusing to look at him now. Murphy came up behind her and rested his hands on her shoulders.
"I know Tasha, I know everything," he admitted quietly as he spoke close to her ear. She turned her head quickly, looking at him as if he was lying to her, like he had to be kidding and just trying to push her buttons even further.
"Claire told me." "She did what? That fucking bitch! I'll kill her!" Tasha spat as she moved to go for the door but Murphy grabbed her hand and pulled her back to him.
"You vanished, she was worried when she called me. It all came out, everything you have been through in detail. She thought if I knew more I might be able to come up with some ideas other than the worst case scenario," he said defending his little sister but it was obvious that Tas was still enraged that her trust has been broken. Murphy could see it in her eyes.
"You don't have to keep it buried woman, you have people who love and care about you. Just let them in damn it." "How in the hell am I supposed to lean on them if they are already leaning on me? They have enough shit of their own. They don't need more! I won't do that to them, I don't want to!" "Then what do you want woman?" "What do I want? What do I want?!? I want to not be a secret to someone! I want not to be a shoulder for five minutes! I want to breath! I want to fly! I want to be loved, not for what I can do, just because! You know, all that romantic bullshit that women are supposed to swoon over. I want to be whole again! Not feeling like I am being eaten away at from the inside! I want the pain to end but it won't, I can't! It wouldn't be right, it wouldn't be fair to anyone if they loved me, even if there was someone like that who was willing to do that!" Tasha was nearly in tears as she yelled, she kept shoving him back as she spoke but he stood his ground and just let her rant and she did. She continued, on and on but he still didn't move, didn't flinch. He just let her get it out.
"But there is no one, so what does it fucking matter?!? Tell me, come on. I told you, now you tell me! What was the point of opening up the dam?" "Because keeping it in will only break you woman, hell you are broke! But that's okay, we all break! Now you can heal if you just let yourself lean on someone damn it, fully! Not a piece here and a piece there!" "On who!?! Claire? Jeje? Echo? Eddie? Seriously who the fuck am I supposed to lean on? Who's going to love this mess? Willing to deal with all of it?" She was furious, each word more seething than the last. She was shaking from the anger and the pain; her head throbbing and her heart pounding.
"Who Irish! Tell me! Who!" she demanded to know. She was livid right then. Mad at him for pushing her, mad at herself for taking the bait.
Murphy didn't give her one more second to speak. His hands came up quickly, cupping her face in his palms; his fingers finding their way into her hair, his thumbs caressing her cheeks as, without warning, he pressed his lips to hers; pulling her to him. He kissed her and it felt like lightning shot through her to her toes. Tas froze, her eyes wide with disbelief, not sure exactly what was happening. She didn't know if she should shove him away and deck the hell out of him or to fall into the kiss. She just stood there, unable to move. Slowly his lips peeled away from hers as he let out slow breath. His brow resting against hers as his eyes opened and he looked into hers.
"Me." Just a single word, so simple but it struck the doctor even more dumbfounded than she had already been. She still couldn't move. Slowly he brushed her hair back before he let her go, stepping back from her; half expecting that when she did snap out of it to be belted right in the face. Rubbing the back of his neck nervously he half smiled over to her.
"I know I shouldn't have kissed you but I had to, least before you kicked me out. You had to open up, keeping it in is destroying you. You're wilting away and you can't afford that, not now damn it. I was worried about you, I don't want you going down without a fight but fighting doesn't mean burying it, it means actually confronting it," Murphy began rambling. Tas just stood there, half listening and half lost in her own world.
He kept speaking, telling her about the first time he laid eyes on her. About how things had changed over the last month. How even though he had been corny about his advances, he was serious but hadn't wanted to press her. What all he knew, what all he had leaned by watching her when they talked and sung together. How he didn't care, that he knew what he was getting into. That it was worth the risk. That pushing her to finally snap and let it out was worth losing her if it meant she could start to heal. That he had to let her know why he was pushing her, because he wanted her to lean on him. That he as willing, because of how he felt.
"What else can I say? I fell in love with you Tasha, I couldn't just stand by anymore and watch you disintegrate without trying. You're worth it to me," he added with a sigh. Tas still hadn't said anything. Most of the time just standing there until she started to pace about the room, her arms wrapped around herself, lost in thought. She heard him, she heard all of it; especially the last part.
Sighing he stepped towards the door, feeling that maybe it was better to slip out right then than to continue. It worried him that she hadn't said anything now. At least if she had decked him it would have been something but now there was nothing. Just silence. It was creepy the way she just seemed to shut down like that, as if a switch had been flipped. Maybe he pushed her to far? Only thing he could hang onto at that point was at least he had taken the chance. Maybe letting it all out right then had been the wrong time, especially after her finally opening up but he had been worried he would never get another chance.
"I'll go," he said quietly. He had nearly reached the door when he felt Tasha's hand on the back of his neck; her fingers curling in his hair. Spinning around he didn't have a chance to blink before her lips were pressed against his as he stumbled; his back slamming against the door as she kissed him. He wondered if he felt as stunned as she had when he kissed her, unable to move except for his eyes to close and savor the kiss. Her lips barely pulled away from his, still brushing against each other as she spoke; whispering a single word.
"Stay." The only word to leave her lips before they pressed back against his. Murphy's arms slipping around her waist as he pulled her close; the kiss deepening as they fell into each other. The simple sound of the door lock clicking echoing on the other side.
