"I'm back!"ThudThe thin layer of dust that has accumulated in her absence is thrown into the air as Amy lazily lets her bag slide off her shoulder and fall on the ground. Moments later, she too falls down onto her bed, the quite squeaking of the wooden frame filling the quiet air for a moment. Bandages still cover her leg and she hisses as they drag along the edge of the bedframe, so she quickly rolls on her back, hugging her plush bear to her chest as she stared up at the ceiling in quiet contemplation.
Particles float gently in the air above her head as they are illuminated by the sunlight, enough to keep her mind occupied for a while. But just as they drift slowly, so do her thoughts, back on the events of that fateful night at Cae Mayl. Was it some unknown magic? The influence of the battle? Or was it something more... sinister? Above all else, why couldn't she hear Mayon's voice afterwards?
"I should've been stronger, I should've been in control... what happened to me Grumps?"The bear does not respond immediately, and there's the sound of soft fabric settling as she gently clutches the bear closer to herself, as if looking for comfort and answers from it.
Thud"Ow! What was that for?"Amy gently rubs the back of her hand as she stares down the emotionless, yet somehow very expressively upset face of the teddy bear.
"First, I've told you a million times not to hug me so tight! I get all lumpy when you push my stuffing around..." The toy replies as it pats itself down with his stubby appendages, and then shakes itself to regain his former shape.
"Second, someone has to snap you out of this... phase!" The small bear lets out a grumpy sigh before reaching up to scratch his chin as it looks out the window.
"We both knew this day would come. When your... our demonic powers would begin to manifest. I just didn't think it would be so soon.""What demonic powers?" Amy asks dumbfounded, the horns on her head clearly eluding her for a moment. But only a moment, as the small stuffed bear delivers the softest slap in history to her face, which prompts Amy to cover her flushed cheeks with her hands.
"Snap out of it girl, you know what I'm talking about!" Grumps shakes his head before proceeding to waddle off of Amy's chest and roll onto the bed. As it stands up, Amy sits up as well and looks down at the fluffy bear with a small pout.
"Please, stop hitting me Grumps, it's not very nice. But... I guess you're right.""Hmph, of course I'm right!" Grumps explains and then crosses his arms and flashes a stern gaze at Amy with it's lifeless, beady little eyes. Amy looks away in return, her own arms crossing across her chest, but her ear twitches as she listens to what the toy has to say.
"Look, I know it's hard, but it's time you finally admitted that you have not just the looks, but the powers and... tendencies of your parents. Mayon accepts all, but she won't answer your prayers if you lie to her, like you lie to yourself. If you'll be riding with the Knights, you need to stop being a liability, and become an asset. And you can only do that if you accept and embrace who you are."A heavy silence falls on the room like a morning fog, as Amy does her best to look away from Grumps and ignore what he said, but eventually she ahs to admit that the stuffed bear is right. She
did act like a complete fool, almost fainting on her first mission with her fellow Roses. Then she lost control in the heat of battle and came to... enjoy it? The thought sent a jolt of pain through her head and she hissed in response.
Being away from the mundane life she knew at the church exposed her to a whole new world of emotions and feelings that she couldn't properly deal with. And worst of all, she could sense and feel those very same things when they were present in other people and environments. Such a thing simply never happened back when she lived in the monastery... no wonder she lost control.
Amy looked down at her lap, her hands cupped together as she gently pressed her thumbs against each other.
"I... I guess you're right. I always knew that my blood would betray me, I just hoped it wouldn't be on my very first mission. I'm sure that my parents would've either not felt a thing, or had complete control of their rampant emotions. I'm the worst of both worlds, huh?" With a sigh, she slumped back on the bed and looked up at the ceiling once again, and felt only the soft touch of the stuffed toy as it tried to console her.
"There, there, that's not true Amy. You have wonderful powers that others could only wish for, you just need to learn to control them, that's all. But for that, you need to let them take control sometimes, to get used to them. Once you get used to controlling your feelings when the world around you is a whirlwind of emotions, then you'll be able to channel your inner powers the same as the ones Mayon gives you!" Grumps explained with the softest of smiles on it's woven face, as Amy pondered what she had to do next.
"If that's the case, then it's time to pray, and make amends. I need to let Mayon know that I'm still following her guiding light. And then-"GroanThe loud rumbling of her stomach interrupted her thoughts, and Amy quickly placed a hand over her belly as if that would make her any less hungry. Looking down, Grumps laid besides her hand as lifelessly as ever, it's soft and fluffy body offering some comforting warmth for her. She couldn't focus on magic or pray to her goddess in silence on an empty stomach after all.
"But first, I think it's time to raid a pantry~" With a mischievous smile, Amy was already halfway out the door as she began to think of all the delectable treats awaiting her.
~Sometime later~
Amy had just snuck out of the pantry with a literal handful of pastry in her possession when she took the wrong turn in the kitchen, and found herself face-to-face with an unamused looking member of staff. The man in chef's clothing crossed his arms and sized up the thieving demon before beckoning for her to put the 'loot' down. Rose or not, the kitchen staff were the lords of the pantry, and wielded their knives and other utensils with the same skill as knights wielded their swords.
"Hey, cut it out. If you need something, ask the staff for it, and don't raid the pantry. Put pastry back to where it belongs, and we'll forget this ever happened."Amy froze in motion as he took a good look at the chef, then down at the looted pastries before her hungry stomach interrupted with a grumble. Right, giving up the ill-gained booty was not an option. One more glance at the staff member and... yep, she could take him.
"You'll never catch me hungry! I mean... alive!" She yelled out as she hopped over the nearest counter and dashed towards the door, leaving behind a trail of crumbs and fallen pastries as the annoyed chef began to chase her down, cursing under his breath something about making her clean up the mess she made.
Already running through the hallway and past confused members of staff with the man hot in pursuit,
also Amy let out a snicker as she watched the events unfold from behind a nearby corner.
"Hehe, works every time, all the time~" Now that the kitchen was empty for sure, she snuck inside and headed straight towards the pantry, eyes set on the prize: yummy pastries.
By the time the staff would realise that it was all an illusion, Amy had already finished her little raid and retreated from the kitchen, munching down on some tasty dough as she made her way to the Chapel to make a confession now that she could focus.
~A slightly longer time later~
"Goddess, I have a confession to make." Amy whispered quietly as she knelt before the small pool in the Chapel, her eyes closed and hands held together.
"I have stolen food, even though I wasn't starving... that much." She explained, and as if to make her point1 she'd quickly swipe some crumbs off her dress that were an evidence to her earlier raid.
"But, that isn't why I'm here. I have another confession to make, and I see your guidance Mayon."She opened her eyes slowly, and looked up above the shrine at the colored glass silhouettes of Mayon and Reon, currently shimmering in the glow of the midday sun.
"I think... for a moment I have lost my way, and I wasn't truthful to my teachings. I am both cursed and gifted, the demonic blood running in my veins granting me abilities that I've not yet come to accept as my own. I come here asking for your help great Mayon, to help make these powers my own, so I may use it to aid all those who seek your comforting light."It was a good start, but she felt something was... missing. There was still a little knot in her stomach, something other than all the treats she had helped herself to, a ball of anxiety as she feared that she was only lying to herself more and more. Under the watchful eyes of Mayon, the truth would have to come to light even if it hurt.
"Mayon, I'm... scared. I'm scared of what I'll become, of what my parents were. I've known nothing but your teachings my whole life, but now on my first mission I've felt pain and anger and all these other emotions in such a manner as I've never experienced them before. Even now I fear... fear that I will once lose control and wander from your light into a darkness that I'm not prepared for." Amy took a moment to take a deep breath and clear her mind, her eyes closing as she nervously continued.
"What if I fail you? Or the people around me? The Roses who took me in... what if they shun me for who I am? If they find that I was born of a succubbus parent, and that's why I can't keep my head straight when emotions run so high? The church is the only family I've ever known, and I want these knights as my friends, but what if I lose them because I-I can't control my powers? I-If they see me as a m-monster who can't be trusted, t-then-"Something warm rolled down her cheeks, and she instinctively reached over to wipe it off, when she realised that it was one of her own tears. Before long Amy was crying slumped down on the floor of the chapel as she fought a losing war against her tears. It seemed like there was no end in sight to her sorrow, the dark thoughts of being rejected and abandoned once more cutting deep into her heart. For a moment she wasn't sure if there was even a point in coming here: she'd only make a fool of herself in front of the Roses, in front of her goddess.
It was then, in her darkest hour, when she felt the creeping hands that had taken a hold of her on that faithful night in Cae Mayl. So warm and comforting, yet so alien for a cleric familiar with the touch of Mayon. It beckoned for her to let go, to stop fighting and to let the emotions win over. To be washed away in a flood of self-doubt and anxiety. Could she ever hope to resist such a force? He very own nature was telling her to give in, did she really have a chance to come out on top after all this? Did she really have a place here?
Amy looked up once more at the image of Mayon, trying to cling on to anything, and it was then when she was it. A trick of the light, a misplaced shadow or an illusion in her own mind, but it seemed like Mayon was smiling down at her. A hand extended to help her up, and to give her the strength she required to overcome whatever hurdles life might throw her way. Maybe there was nothing there and she just really wanted to believe it, but isn't that what faith is all about? Faith, the gift of the church that took her in, the single thing that helped her get to where she was. If she gave that up, would she have anything left? No... she couldn't do that. As long as she had her faith, she could always find her way back to Mayon's guiding light, even if her cursed lineage would have her drown in her own emotions. She felt the hands on her shoulder slowly disappear, the weight disappearing off of her chest as it was replaced with the cold but comforting embrace of her goddess once more.
"You're stronger than this Amy. You put your faith in Mayon... and Mayon puts her faith in you. You will NOT fail. I will not fail! I won't be intimidated by my emotions anymore... they are who I am, just like my faith is!" Sniffing quietly and wiping away some more tears from her eyes, Amy was reduced to a mere sob as she knelt on the cold floor for a little bit longer before she'd make her way over to the pews and sat down in the first row.
"My faith is strong... forgive me Mayon for ever doubting you. I know you'll give me the power to see this through. I shall be forever loyal to you, and I know you'll be there in my darkest hours to light the path forward." Amy whispered quietly and clasped her hands together as she leaned forward and began to zealously pray, consumed by recitals as she sat alone in the Chapel with a renewed faith in her goddess.
Letter Bee
Fish of Oblivion
AndyC
Noctis
Bartimaeus
