Aces Away

Edenridge

^{Timestamp: After Symphony of Colors _(JP/Rye)
& Unprepared for the Unexpected _{(Niles/Kianna)}
FT: Gavriel Phillips-Shomer & Niles Sinclair}

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In another deviation from the norm for the two lovers, after their fun they settled down to snuggle and JP finally found his path into dreamland whilst Rye lay wide awake. While he had been preparing the surprise dinner, he’d gotten a text from Carrie- or maybe Autumn, as they were still sharing a phone- asking him to make time for Niles today. Selfishly, he’d responded that he couldn’t at the time but he would make sure to get to him tonight. He’d then promptly shoved the moment into a box and hid it in the back of his mind to focus on making JP’s favorite dish with Nina. Once the emotions and passion of their dinner had calmed and Rye was left awake listening to the resting heartbeat of his soul’s desire, however, he had time to let his anxieties get a hold of him. He let the poison sink into his veins and set his muscles alight with static as though he deserved the internal onslaught for ignoring his friend.

What if this was like before, and he wasn’t there for Niles when he needed him? What if something bad happened? His own heart rate spiked, no longer in sync with its twin and chasing to catch up with his racing thoughts. He untangled himself as gently as his suddenly shaky limbs would let him. He would absolutely hate himself if he woke JP but he couldn’t leave Niles in the box any longer. Leaving their blanket behind to keep JP covered and grabbing a free one from their lover's nest to cover his own bare skin, Rye searched for his clothes while trying to keep the strangled noise of anxiety trapped in his throat where it was clawing to get out. Fumbling through the pockets of his discarded sweatpants once he found them, he grabbed his phone and headed quietly to the bedroom before closing the door behind him and pulling up Niles’ contact to press call. While the line rang, Rye did his best to go through his breathing exercises and focus on the fact that his next therapy session was tomorrow. Distantly, he wondered if an hour was going to be enough time this go around.

Niles was about to pull a second all nighter. He should be tired but after he picked up his bike at Phil’s he couldn’t get her out of his head. When he returned home, his sisters were there, having gotten off their shift at Daylight Delicacies both doing their summer reading. Carrie was reading the Joy Luck Club and Autumn was reading The Outsiders. The moment Niles stepped into the kitchen they both perked up from their seats in the living room, looking at him expectantly. He didn’t know why they were staring at him like that but he proceeded to look through the mail, finally having time to do so. He looked through mail mostly to organize it for his father seeing how at most he’d get a letter from his college but other than that, he didn’t get much mail. Not really.

When he did discover a letter addressed to him and a letter addressed to no one, he raised an eyebrow. They were already opened so immediately he knew why his sisters were just sitting, waiting and staring at him. They were waiting for his reaction. He decided to open the one addressed to him first assuming the unaddressed letter was likely for his father. With an expression of annoyance, like ‘what the fuck is this’, he read the contents. Carrie had placed her book down, scurrying to the kitchen just in case her brother needed support. Autumn went for their dad’s liquor cabinet. Placing a piece of leftover Banoffee pie for her brother, Carrie took her seat on a stool and anxiously watched. When Autie got back from the liquor cabinet, she came with a bottle of tequila. Uncapping it, she put it beside the pie.

Now they waited.

To keep herself busy, Autie went to the sink and started washing the dishes she and her sister made before leaving to work. A couple of bowls, cups, and silverware. Not too much. When she heard crumpling of paper and Niles pulling out the cabinet where the trash can was, she turned the faucet off and grabbed a towel to wipe her hands, “You okay?” She asked.

“Are you going to be okay?” Carrie swiftly added.

To their surprise, Niles smiled, brushing off the irritation and joked, “Yeah, I’m fine. A bit long winded for a breakup letter. She lost my attention after the first paragraph.” The twins couldn’t help but laugh in relief. Their brother was going to be okay. He took it well. While they didn’t know why Niles was so happy and relieved that the trash took itself out, they did know that whatever happened while he wasn’t home must’ve been something special because his eyes gleamed with purpose and excitement, something they hadn’t seen since they were kids.

Time passed and Niles found himself lying on his bed gazing up at the ceiling, the back of his head on his left hand. He listened to Your Hand In Mine by Explosions in the Sky. The song played out of his PC speakers. For a moment, he wondered if he should’ve been wounded with the things Caitlin said but all he could think of was her. While he did feel comfort knowing he was right, and that Cece was still in love with Mika, Niles knew they could’ve gone out on better terms. Then again, he did put her in a weird place where she was too scared to break up with him in person. Well, none of that mattered anymore and it was best for him not to waste his time or energy on her. What mattered now to Niles Sinclair was deep brown eyes, bouncy curls, and caramel skin. Her smile, that she tried so hard to prevent, found a home in his head, living rent free. A beautiful woman with a matching beautiful soul. A flower that makes others bloom. Kianna. He couldn’t stop thinking about her. Kianna.

His thoughts were interrupted by his phone vibrating on his nightstand. He turned to his side and reached for it. When he saw the caller ID was Rye he picked it up and put it on speaker. Leaving the phone on his stand, he returned to his position and stared back up at the ceiling, not letting the thought of Kianna exit his mental space. He could see her with a flower crown, sitting on a bed of flowers with nothing… “What up, homie? You good?”

The breath he’d been holding rushed out of him as soon as he heard his friend’s voice. His tone was…weird but certainly wasn’t angry or distraught or empty like all those times that made him worry with every second. He didn’t give himself time to recover, not wanting Niles to realize just how close he had been to a complete meltdown by the simple thought of his best friend in a hospital bed again. “I’m good bro, just got a soft nudge from Autie and Carebear earlier but I’ve been tied up until now. Everything alright on your end?”

Ah. They must’ve contacted Rye before he got a chance to read the letter. Niles smiled to himself, amused at the fact the first and only time a girl ever dumped his ass was through a letter. Karma worked in mysterious ways. Karma chose to come in the form of a meek redhead. Karma was a little bitch that jumped from guy to guy instead of healing and getting her own self together. Once Niles read the second letter, he was able to put two and two together of Cece’s timeline from David to Mika to him to Mika again (likely this very day). He learned a lot in the course of a month, especially the day they went official, and it was all laughable that she was the one he decided to go public with. Natalia was right and he should’ve known better. “Do you want the spark notes version or the full story?”

“Usually when your sisters get ahold of me it’s something important, so tell me the whole thing if you want, or if you want to blow by it I can start cracking jokes at any second,” Rye replied, shifting the phone to his other ear and trapping the cell between there and his shoulder. This freed his hands and he instantly dropped them to his knees to tap out a rapid beat, the excess energy from his earlier anxiety sitting just beneath the surface and struggling for a way out now that the perceived crisis was averted. “No offense but the message had me expecting worse. Not that I’m not happy that you aren’t! Just, ah, yeah?”

“Oh if I wasn’t in a good headspace I probably would’ve taken today's events poorly,” he unintentionally chuckled, knowing well enough all the people in his life had every right to panic. “Well, yesterday I was moody. You know this. Got some coffee though, and Mr. Beau set me right. Because that’s what Mr. Beau does.” There was a brief pause before he continued the tale of his past two days. “I’m going home right? And then I see at a distance, Lexie Davies is dragging an unconscious Clayton Costigan. So yeah, I had to stop and help.” Sitting up, he reached for the phone and got off his bed to turn down the volume of his computer. “Let’s fast forward a bit, I get no sleep because it was monsoon weather last night and I’m worried about Clay. Turns out, he’s been on a case for the recent letters. It personally impacted him because it involved David and that whole bad period when the town turned against him and him accidentally drowning in the lake. You following?” Niles stopped for a second, changing the volume setting of his PC, wondering if he was telling too much or if he should keep going.

“I’m- yeah, I’m following,” Rye said, staring into the darkness of the sparse bedroom with both eyebrows making a mad dash for his hairline. That explains Clay’s temporary disappearance and the ripple effect it had in causing Avery worry on top of the events of this morning. He’d noticed the woman’s worried glances at her phone while they were together but he was more focused on keeping her grounded- while also pumping her up a bit- over the kiss with Jamie. After that it had been the talk about JP and his mind had been engulfed with ideas of what he could do for his lover for the rest of the day. Here he’s finding out the guy had been beat down and saved by Lex Davies and his best friend. He hadn’t even known Lex was back in town, hell the last time he’d seen her was Sunshine sneaking her into his dorm at a serpent party a week before she got sent away, but apparently she was back.

It was kind of ridiculous; all these people, including himself, coming back home recently just to fall headfirst back into the drama and insanity that had woven its way into the foundations of the town, scorching its very soul into a black abyss that could only drag its inhabitants closer to hell with each day that crawled by. He could easily find it in himself to hate this town as much as his darling JP adored it, but he chose to view it through his lover’s eyes as often as he could, knowing it was always better to see the people and their light than the shadows that hung off them all like cloaks of misery. It wasn’t an easy task, and on the hardest days he found himself completely enamored with the beauty that was JP’s heart, and his ability to have space in it for anyone. It scared him too, because he knew how easily one could get hurt like that.

Avery was like JP, and if Clay wasn’t alright then she definitely wouldn’t be, so the first thing he needed to ask for peace of mind was, “Before we go any further, is Clay ok? I know Avery was worried about him earlier and it’d be great to know she’s received some news since she left MSM.”

“Yeah he’s fine. I wasn’t there for the finale but I heard Kylee’s show and read the news articles. He should be at the hospital,” Niles reassured, going from his computer to his window to peer outside. Scott Street was a helluva place. Edenridge in general was a hellmouth and he was fortunate his recklessness hadn’t caught up with him and his family. He was a dumbass especially during his highschool years and he could only imagine how Charlie’s letters could harm those he loved dearly because of his bad choices and negative mindset. Darkness wasn’t on the edge of town. Edenrdige had far too many monsters to be anything beyond a voidless abyss.

Home is what Edenridge was, with so much dark it can swallow you whole. There were people like Rye who wanted to lift spirits up and heal others. Niles knew his best friend needed to reflect and focus on himself. This town sucks the life out of people who care too much and Gavriel Phillips-Shomers cares too much. He always had since the day he moved here. He could deny all he wanted to, even say JP’s heart was more gold than his, but Niles knew what separated him from his friend. One had empathy beyond belief, where it made him anxiety ridden, the other was as selfish as they come, only caring for himself and his own.

Simultaneously, Niles opened his phone and started with his Instagram, erasing Caitlin Cleary completely from his world, with no hesitation and no remorse, “Maybe call your mom? Just to make sure. That dude is stubborn as hell. He refused to go to the hospital until he figured things out. And he did. Thankfully, he did. It’s a doozy though.”

“This is what I get for not having socials or listening to podcasts,” Rye grumbled, stopping the rapid rhythm on his knees just long enough to shift his phone back to his other ear and shoulder before resuming his drumming. He hasn’t had any social media since highschool, content with JP showing him things occasionally off of his own and unwilling to fall back into the rabbit hole of performance and perfection that most of those platforms were built on. But this, this is what he got for being selfish and focusing on himself for the afternoon; he missed all notice of the events that took place while he was cooking and setting up his and JP’s little floor picnic and was once again behind. Now instead of comforting Niles on whatever the story was leading up to, he was focusing on the story itself and processing the information he was receiving. Real stand up human being, he was. “I’ll uh, I’ll call ma soon, check in. Gotta check in with Danny too while I’m at it,” another pause filled the silence before he continued, “So…what was it? The doozy.”

“Well, my ex,” Niles nonchalantly continued, “By the way, Caitlin broke up with me by leaving a letter in my mailbox. She tried to politely call me a piece of shit because I called her out on still having feelings for Mikhail.” He would need to work on repairing his pride. She wasn’t worth the energy to get bitter over. And yet, the more he was erasing Cece from his socials, now onto Facebook, he couldn’t help but think how despicable she was and how she gave grief a bad name, jumping from dick to dick because woe is me. Stupid bitch. “She was David’s girl. The letters were not from Charlie Decker’s journal. Jamie O’Hara had love letters Caitlin wrote David and wanted to call the town out for being judgemental pricks when there were more cases of our class fucking older kids. For once in her life, she gained the courage to speak on Kylee’s radio show to air out the past and tell the town to fuck off. You know what’s funny?”

Niles changed his relationship status to single and ranted, “I was always against people talking shit about David. I got into fights because people would say the dumbest shit about him. Who would’ve known I’d get with his girl years after? And the sad thing is, his name will forever be dragged into the mud even if it was Cece who had this kid crush on him. Bet she threw herself all over him to get what she wanted. That innocent game she plays? That’s a fucking lie.”

Ok, color him surprised, that was not a turn he was expecting this story to take. Sure, he'd been pushing for Niles to think first and break up with her in the first place, but his interest had laid in the mental health of both parties, much as it had when everything went down between Niles and Natalia. Niles sounded angry now, but still nowhere near the levels that would have Gavriel worried, so he let his friend vent and process in his own way while he spoke. Gavriel had no attachment to Caitlin Cleary, but to know that the whole situation had been surrounding one of his classmates and an upperclassman at the time…well, Rye wasn’t exactly one to judge sleeping with someone older than him in highschool, and there wasn’t even anything romantic between him and those flings. To know that it wasn't an absolute child like the rumors had made David’s crime out to be was as relieving as it was disheartening to know just how far from the truth word of mouth had gotten. Once again this town seemed to cause its own ghost story only to feed off the secrets chained in people’s closets until they were forced out into the light. Rye hated the drama of it all.

Rye knew Niles wasn’t completely innocent in the story he’d created together with Caitlin, but he also knew that he couldn’t have done it alone. One doesn’t just stay with Niles Sinclair because they think they can handle it, they had to prove that through numerous trials. Rye wasn’t an idiot, Niles was an asshole to most people. There was a reason that Rye understood so well the dynamics between Decky and Sonny Cernis. Some people only made sense to a select few, close ones strong enough to whether the storms as they battered against their strength of will. Some people were hard to understand, and even harder to love. That didn’t mean no one could love them, and it didn’t mean no one new would ever try.

He didn’t even know how to begin processing the still having feelings for Mikhail bit. Just how many Northies had secret relationships or encounters with Southies- and Serpents in particular- in this town? It’s not like he didn’t know it happened, of course it happened, but it seemed that everywhere you turned a new secret ‘taboo’ relationship was popping up and causing strife. Their lives were beginning to feel like a soap opera.

“Okay buddy,” Rye finally responded, fingers finally stilling as he reached up to secure his phone in his hand. “So the David letters are cleared up, Caitlin is eighty-six’d from your life, but you’re still doin’ good, you vibed through the breakup letter- which, seriously, a letter? Why? Whatever- because you were in a good mood,” He quirked an eyebrow up as he stared into the dark room. “Care to walk me through why? Sounds like there’s good news somewhere in this story.”

“Might be too early to tell you about this one, you’ll roll your eyes and say I’m jumping the gun,” Niles mused, having finished obliterating Cece from his socials. Returning to his bed, taking a seat, he was back to thinking about the good Mechanic girl working at Phil’s. He smiled to himself when he replayed their interaction and how there was a hint of blush on her cheeks when Miriam Darling interrupted them.

God, he had it bad and he barely knew the girl.

The meeting of their souls was random and unexpected but because of that, he didn’t take the Caitlin business as poorly as he could’ve. Instead, he had a silver lining in the dark cloud that constantly followed him wherever he went. Instead, he had hope, excitement, and a purpose beyond himself. Instead, he had someone he wanted to get to know. Someone he wanted to love. More so than he’s ever loved any ex before him. Someone he wanted to cherish. Someone he needed to be better for because the idea of not having her in his life made him feel… lost. Kianna looked at him, saw him, and his world shifted, never to be the same again. How could one girl hold so much power over him when all he was able to do was get a name and a I’ll-think-about-it response? “I don’t even understand it, if I’m being totally honest.”

“Well I’ll push it at a later date then,” Rye responded, rolling his eyes anyway. “Give you time to convince me that you’re not jumping the gun, yeah?”

“Yeah, yeah. How about you? How’s your day been? I can’t be the only one with a dramatic life.” Niles asked, relieved that Rye didn’t press on about the special someone he met today. If he gets that coffee date, maybe he’ll tell Rye about her. Until then, he needed to be patient and wait until she was ready. “You and JP still going strong?”

"I've been…out of sync with him a lot lately," Rye admitted honestly, never one to claim perfection in areas that could use improvement. Not with those important to him. "Avery Kaine gave me some much needed insight earlier, and that's why I was tied up. We talked a lot earlier, and I definitely feel better about things than I did before. I know I take on a lot but I wanted to let JP know that I could still be there for him when he feels like he can't do it alone. I really love him, you know? And I just wanted to show him. And hey, I know how to make his favorite dish from scratch now, so bonus," he was relaxing again, the energy finally settling beneath his skin as he and his fellow doctors' child caught up on each other's lives. "I don't think you really want to hear about the rest of the night though, I always respect that boundary with you. Danny has no such privilege."

At least Rye was finally getting to a position of peace. Finding balance and moderating all things in their lives was neither of their strong suits. Niles was selfish and Rye was selfless. That meant Rye always gave too much and Niles took what was his. Then again, both were incredibly hard on themselves and rarely saw their own selves for what they were. No matter how much of an asshole Niles was, he could do the right thing. Today alone showed his potential of walking a path that was just and good. No matter how much of a helper Rye can be, he could also do the wrong thing. There was something innately selfish about feeding off others fulfillment and happiness, doing good deeds and healing the world, instead of yourself.

For their fortunate lives, they were never fully satisfied and that likely had to do with how they processed and moved forward. Their mindsets. Darkness transformed them in different ways. Darkness was their own abyss. One boy became ruthless, the other boy desperate. Yet somehow fate made them friends and regardless of their faults, they made each other better. They balanced each other. They were each other’s mirrors.

Relationships weren’t easy and even if on the surface, JP and Rye seemed to be stronger than most couples in the town of Edenridge, they still had their mountains to climb. They still had to work on their trust. “You can tell me as little or as much as you want, but if it’s about sex, I’m good. I know you two fuck like rabbits.”

There was rummaging in the fridge on Rye’s end, signaling that JP had woken up from his slumber. Not even a full hour or so. Maybe two if Rye was lucky. “Before I let you go — I just realized what time it is — my sisters are having a pool party this Saturday. I could really use some company. It’s going to fucking suck having to watch all these kids do dumb shit. I hate parties.”

Rye tilted his head and shifted himself away from the door in case JP tried to enter now that he'd woken up, a smirk on his face at Niles' comment on their sexual habits. He wasn't going to deny it either.

"Yeah, I can be there man, you don't have to face a bunch of rabid teens alone," he promised with a fond eye roll, leaning back on his hand now that he was facing the bedroom door. "I can't exactly play lifeguard well but I can hand out water and trick the ones that are too drunk to swim into going inside for food. I don't know when exactly I went from party slut to party mom but I'm here for it."

I'm here for you, went left unsaid, as Niles already knew Rye had his back no matter what. Given that they've only spent a combined like six hours together since Rye got back to town, it would be good to spend time with him again, even if there would be a swarm of drunk teens doing their damnedest to wear out the two older boy's first aid ability.

The door creaked open and Rye looked up as the light came streaking into the room before it was blocked by the silhouette of his lover. He smiled up at JP and sat forward, fixing the blanket around his waist and patting the fabric on his knee invitingly, offering entry to the insomniac as he finished up his phone call.

"Stay sane until Saturday bro, and I'm glad you're okay. I'll see you then."

Edenridge

_{TIMESTAMP: After Technicolor
FT: Jericho & Gavriel Phillips-Shomer}

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Rye had not bothered the tired man while he’d sifted through the donations box, nor once he'd finished, but once JP had a free moment he returned to Rye himself and they conducted the mock interview with a sort of whimsical enthusiasm. There were still lines of tension in JP’s shoulders and brow, so when it was time for JP to care for another customer, Rye had packed up with his plan in mind. A quick message to Nina Belmonte had him showing up at Palermo after a trip up to My Darling Food Mart and working side by side with his best friend’s older sister to learn how to make JP’s favorite dish: Chicken Alfredo, something Nina could make in her sleep. He’d left the restaurant with a smile on his face and plenty of time to spare as he returned to the apartment with his meal and decorations.

He turned the oven on low and put the dish inside to keep it warm until JP got home, then he went on to set up the picnic blanket on the ground. Smoothing it out, he set out plates and utensils and the rose petals he’d gotten when he picked up the groceries, and he trailed electric tea lights out across the floor leading towards the blanket like a path of stars, willing to go full tilt into the surprise, even having borrowed a couple of wine glasses from Nina. He put pillows and blankets on the floor around the setup like a nest and settled back into it, waiting for his lover to appear and hoping this bit of spontaneity could be the start of adding color into JP’s life movie.

Within the next hour, there was the sound of unlocking, prompting Rye to jump up and grab the main dish from the oven before his boyfriend could open the door. Outside the apartment, Jericho had his earpieces in and a box being held in his arm and against his stomach, having gone to Kori Sweets on Carlisle Ave after his shift. He was listening to Time in a Bottle by Jim Croce. He had spent the rest of his shift keeping busy. Tuesdays were usually slow so he organized, reorganized, cleaned and entertained the few customers he did have.

When it was time to close shop, he first stopped at the drugstore to pick up meds for the old man. He proceeded to drive across the railroad to Kori Plaza to pick a couple of treats for his lover. Rye had a sweet tooth, which at times was concerning because of the amount he could eat, but it was an easy, quick gift if time was against him. Afterwards, he checked on his uncle Edd who was watching one of his shows, The Wire, and sending his best friends, Ed Quinn and Eddie Garnere, memes. Edd Campbell had shared the news of Sadie being in town, not knowing JP already knew, and that she was staying at Laura’s for the day. The old man grinned, knowing well enough his daughter would be pissed at him but he gave no fucks. He wanted his grandbaby home, where she belonged.

After all was said and done, he drove to Pleasantview and sluggishly made his way to his apartment. The downside of being an insomniac was sometimes the day passes in a blur. Today, however, he remembered vividly his exchange with Rye at MSM and how it almost led to another argument. He had to get his shit together. He didn’t know what was wrong with him but lately, he was losing a handle of himself. It wasn’t exhaustion. He was always exhausted. So what was it? He and Rye were making big moves as a couple. Committing to one another, moving in with each other, so why was he so short with his adorable and lovable boyfriend? He wasn’t insecure of their relationship. He knew Rye needed him and that would never change. He took in the lyrics of the song he was listening to and sighed. He really needed to get over this feeling. There was no way he’d add to Rye’s plate. Rye had Danny and Niles, who were already a handful, and if he found out Mordechai was in town? That was another person his sweetheart, his Sprinkle, would want to carry. Due to JP’s sleeping disorder, he had no recollection that he had already told Rye about Decky, a month ago, and that the anxious man was avoiding the other.

Opening the door, he shuffled in, closing it from behind and locking it with his free hand. He stopped in place, holding the box close, when he noticed the trail of tea lights and rose petals. Smiling, he pulled his earbuds out and shoved them in his pockets. Following the path that led to his heart, JP met Rye’s gaze and took in the whole set up, from the blanket-pillow picnic to the wine glasses, and even to the plates of alfredo. “What’s all this?” JP asked, bewildered but in a good way.

Rye looked up from where he had been doling out the last scoop of alfredo onto the plates and smiled. He stood up and walked around the food with the tray still in his oven mitt covered hands. Holding the hot dish away from their bodies when he got close to JP, Rye lifted himself onto his toes and gave JP a quick kiss before heading back to the oven to put the rest of the food back where it had been. Turning back around, he flailed his arms about the room and set up.

“You’ve been struggling too, lately, and I’ve seen it,” He responded honestly while holding Jericho’s eyes as they glistened with the lights from the fake candles. Safety first, no need for more fires in this town. “And I want you to know that I’ve seen it and we can keep playing pretend if you want but if you want to actually talk about things, I’m here. I appreciate you for everything you are Jericho, but I also see how it’s weighing on you,” He stepped forward to grab the taller man’s free hand in a gentle grasp. “I know I take a lot of other people’s problems on, but so do you, and I’m not saying to dump it all on me and that I’ll take it in, I’m saying,” He released the hand to tilt his boyfriend’s head down to connect their foreheads. “When you need to talk, I’ll be here, and when you feel like you can’t, I’ll be here for that too. Okay?”

This was all unexpected so much so that JP’s eyes, barely lit but still noticeable, were growing glossy. Instinctively, he used the box in his hand to put distance between him and his boyfriend to cover up the fact that Rye just hit him in a place that forced the lingering sadness in his chest to come to the surface, overwhelming him. “Fuck, okay. Here, your favorite. I’m… going to change.” When Rye grabbed the box from him, JP disappeared into the bedroom to get out of his jeans and put on sweats. When he was in a white shirt and black joggers, he sat on his bed. With his eyes closed, he focused on his breathing, playing out a few avenues he could take with this dinner. He’d be lying if he said he wasn’t scared. He didn’t expect Rye to be the one to give him a safe space to talk and honestly? He didn’t know how to handle it. Still, he couldn’t let his man wait for too long, especially since waiting caused more anxiety. Deeply exhaling one last time, JP pushed himself off the bed and returned to the picnic. Taking a seat beside Rye, he chuckled, “Alfredo? Got this from Palermo?”

“Made it at Palermo,” Rye responded, allowing the proud tone to cover up his worry. He knew he came on strong, but it was intentional because JP couldn’t just shrug it off and pretend it was some trivial part of the conversation like he always does. With those strong comments out of the way, Rye could wait for JP to actually process his words and do with them what he may. He certainly hadn’t intended to cause the cornered animal look that had shot through the musical man’s eyes before he’d created distance between them, and he’d carefully sat back down with the box JP had shoved into his hands. He put it down in front of JP as the man settled, knowing that if he didn’t keep his favorite treat wrapped up and out of sight he would eat it before dinner and he was trying to be healthy in numerous ways. “Took a little lesson with Nina. She did save me from burning it though. Like three times. Thank you for the mousse by the way, I’m excited, but keep that away from me until I’ve had actual sustenance first please.”

Rolling his eyes, JP reached for the box and put it behind a pillow, even playfully going the extra mile to use one of the pillows to hide it from Rye’s eyes. “There. All gone.” Grabbing the bottle of Martinelli’s Sparkling Blush, the non-alcoholic version of Pink Moscato, Jericho poured them both a glass, handing the first one to Rye when he was done, “You had Nina teach you? Did I miss something? I’m proud of you, but what’s the occasion?” When JP put the bottle down, his phone was left in the bedroom so he could focus on his dinner with his love, he hesitantly asked, “Did October come out of nowhere and it’s our anniversary?”

“No, no you’re fine,” Rye laughed, accepting the glass and taking a sip of the sweet and fizzy drink. This was weird. Now that he’d basically had JP’s insecurities burned into his mind by one Avery Kaine, he could see so much more clearly all the little signs of anxiety the man was typically so good at suppressing. Being on the other side of things gave him an interesting glance into a lighter version of what JP went through with him on a daily basis. He did not begrudge his love’s burden. He grinned brightly and threw one arm out while staying aware of the drink in his other hand. “You got an apartment dude! We didn’t celebrate that. I know it wasn’t under the best circumstances but this is still a really big thing and you need to acknowledge that and do something you like, so I made something you like to start it off!”

With how sugary sweet Rye was being, JP’s own delicate sweetness appeared on his dimpled cheeks. He was incredibly lucky to have such an adorable, affectionate and alluring boyfriend. He always knew that Rye was his person. The moment they met at a Halloween party. Rye found him in a crowd and went all in with flirting. Even before Rye found him, JP caught sight of him from the other side of the room. He was surrounded by his friends dressed as Marty Mcfly from Back to the Future. A quick DIY costume he scrambled to make at the last minute. He saw at a distance, a cute, bouncy boy dressed as Elton John talking to a couple of southies. And then just like that, the boy that smelled of confetti sugar and lavender came to him and introduced himself. From that point on, his world was no longer completely his. It mostly belonged to this boy with tender eyes, a bright disposition, and a big smile. “Cheers then,” JP responded and gave a toast to commemorate the special dinner, “To our next chapter. To all the moments we will shake each other up, to the days we don’t have peace, where we test each other, question each other, and change our very reality. To our future. I wouldn’t want to walk this life with anyone else but you, Rye.”

Rye knocked his glass lightly against Jericho’s as his tears reflected the glowing lights scattered across the blanket. His smile outshined it all. Jericho knew what to say to play at his heartstrings as well as the man played a guitar, like it was second nature. “To our future, I can’t wait to write it together.”

“Good,” JP said matter-of-factly as he took a small sip of the sparkling cider. Placing it outside of their blanket area, not wanting it to be in the danger zone of getting kicked over, he started to eat and his face lit up. “This is really good, baby.” Rye’s face lit up in response to the praise. He spent the next minute or two in silence shoveling the pasta in his mouth. When he was done, he reached for his glass again and took a mouthful of drink. When he was satisfied with filling his stomach, and Rye caught up with him, he cleared the area, declaring it ‘rest stomach’ period before they got to the desserts. Laying down, resting his head on a pillow, he gestured for his lover to rest on him. When Rye did as he was instructed and they were in a comfortable cuddle position, he grabbed his hand and kissed his forehead. “So this is… different from our usual routine. Did something happen today? I know you said this is to celebrate our apartment but I can’t help but wonder if there’s more to it. Have I been that transparent?”

“I don’t think that’s it,” Rye looked adoringly up at his love, gripping his hand back as tightly as it was being held. “I just got a little more perspective is all. Perspective I’ve needed but more so wanted for a long time. Are- are you alright with talking on something heavy a bit? I don’t want to weigh things down if you’re not ready.”

Staying silent for a little bit, JP locked his eyes with Rye’s and saw how intensely the emotion was behind the veil. They say the eyes were the windows to the soul and he took pride in undressing Rye in all the ways you could for a person. Emotionally, spiritually, and of course, physically but that was neither here nor there. Tightening his hold on Rye, leaving no space between them, feeling his heartbeat through his throat, JP breathed, “What do you want to know? I’ll answer whatever you want but I can’t promise I’ll… I don’t know how I’ll react through this.”

“It’s not about what I want, and you don’t have to control your reactions,” Rye replied, hugging back tightly. “You don’t always have to be in control around me. I want you to know that,” he looked at the tea lights as they impersonated a flame flickering and changing the way the shadows played together around their little nest. “I’m not…I’m not going to try and fix you if you show me where you feel broken, I just want to be on your journey as you heal. You’ve spent a long time being strong for me, and before that you were always being strong for Momma Robbie and your sisters. When was there time for you to feel safe enough to be weak?”

That… was a hard question.

Jericho turned his stare to the ceiling, watching the moving reflection, shadows, and light from the candles Rye had bought. When was the first time he could openly express himself without fear of it backfiring? “A little before you moved to Edenridge, but not in a good way. I had this… unhealthy relationship with my father. Walter Phillips. That was his name. He and my mom connected through their love of music, he was a college professor at Boston U and she’s taught at Eden High for years. He taught mostly ethnomusicology. The study of music in different cultures.” Anxiously, JP traced his fingers on Rye’s arm as he focused in on one spot of the ceiling. “He wasn’t the best man but he was my father and at least for me, I wanted him to recognize me and be proud of me. He,” Clearing his throat, trying not to choke up from talking about this, he tried his best to formulate this piece of his past, “Used to just leave with me, like a bargain chip, and gaslight my mom. You’d get your baby boy when you give me what I want. At the time, I thought he just wanted time with me. His son. But really, he just wanted mom to give him something, like money, which he was awful at. Spent all our college savings. Gambled it and acted like someone committed theft on us.”

The tracing on Rye’s arm turned into tapping, like a drum. Tap, tap, tap, tap. “I told him everything because I thought that would make him love me more. I didn’t realize how fucked I was until he tried to…” JP’s voice was shaking. “He tried to hurt mom and I got in the middle so instead he threw me…” Closing his eyes, reliving these awful days, yet still missing his dad in a sad, sick kind of way, he whispered, “A month later, he died.” There was no room for growth or a change of heart, if his father was even capable of it. The child in him still wished his father before he unexpectedly died grew from his mistakes and became the man his mom believed he could be. The man she fell in love with in the first place. “I’m sorry, Rye… was that a good answer?”

“Hey, hey, I’m not trying to force anything out of you, and there’s no good or bad answers, just yours” Rye reassured, worried by the reaction. He had listened to the story with no small amount of horror and disgust racing through him, but he’s kept any reactions from surfacing on his features. He knew whatever JP’s choice of answer was was going to be dark, and he was perfectly able to control himself and keep from having dramatic reactions while his lover spoke. Apparently his lack of expression just made normally put together man even more anxious. He pulled back but didn’t leave JP’s arms, just made sure the man could see his face, his sincerity. He looked this man deep into his eyes and straight down to his beautiful and caring soul, and he kissed him breathless like he could be a balm for all the pain that he found there. To soothe it so JP could tend to it in a less irritated state and heal it himself. “You don’t owe me anything, you don’t have to tell me anything you aren’t ready to. I’ll always be getting to know you, and I can be patient despite what you’ve seen,” He smiled for a moment before continuing, “I’m gonna…I’m gonna give you something to listen to so you have the chance to sit there and find your center if you need. This isn’t me trying to overtake the conversation or compare situations, I just appreciate you and want to be open with you too,” He closed his eyes and took a deep breath and steeled himself for his own admission. When he was ready, when Jericho’s eyes were on him, he began.

“My parents’ divorce was because of me. In like the most literal sense because what I did just really brought into light the way he was but just-” He stopped and shook his head lightly before restarting. ”I came out to them. My parents. A little after eighth grade started. There had already been signs that I should’ve followed that showed my dad wouldn’t’ve been cool with it; one time he came home and I’d been playing stylist with my mom, he flipped out when he saw the makeup on me and started scrubbing it off my face with a damp rag. I actually had a bit of friction burn on my cheek by the time ma had gotten him off me,” Rye laugh was hollow as the feeling his father had left behind. ”He started trying to sign me up for sports after that, and the car I used to love working on with him was suddenly a requirement instead of a hobby. He’d ask about girlfriends or crushes and get all cold and distant when I didn’t have anything to give him. Everything in me was screaming not to come out, but I couldn’t handle keeping it in. So I came out, and dad flipped his shit again and started screaming at me, and then he turned on ma because she got between us and he started yelling about how her coddling turned me into a ‘filthy fucking queer’,” Glassy eyes stared at JP as Rye dropped his hands from where he had been signing quotations. He tilted his head and shrugged as if to say, ’what can ya do, y’know?’ ”She cut him off by demanding divorce and while he was processing what she said she sent me to my room and told me to take my meds. I was basically dissociating to another planet by that point so I just did what she said and fell asleep to the sounds of them screaming at each other.”

He felt oddly still at this moment, aside from a head shake and tilt as well as a little shrug, he hadn’t really moved. No fingers tapping that would get tapped at with whatever tool or remote was in his dad’s hands at the time, no hands going ’in so many directions it makes me dizzy, Gavriel, should make you sit on them,’ and no leg shaking so much it had to be stilled by an iron grasp grinding his knee until it creaked from the pressure. He’d noticed it when talking about the events in therapy. Even years after he’d gotten out from under his father’s influence he still couldn’t even fidget when the thoughts of him in those later years cloud his mind. “When I woke up he was gone. Ma was in the kitchen drinking wine and all his clothes were gone, most of his other things were boxed up but he never came back. He sent ma an address and some money and she got it all moved to his new place. I’ve never seen him again and he’s never tried to reach out to me, so I’ve got massive issues surrounding the need to please others over my own needs so they don’t leave me. I have no doubt you empathize with that.”

“You know I would never leave you right?” Jericho shifted his body so he was facing Rye. He held onto the back of Rye’s head, holding onto the boy's curls. He leaned his face forward and once again their foreheads were united and touching. “I know I’m not good at this talking about my issues thing but leaving you? I would never, Gavriel.” For the first time, Jericho’s defenses were completely down and he was raw, vulnerable, and open. “I almost lost you once, I can’t lose you again, you understand? I fucking can’t.” The grief from a day both of them would rather leave in the past crept in his chest and shook him to his core. Being an outsider on the day of the shooting might have not been the same trauma as what those inside the school experienced but it was still trauma. It was scary enough to set JP back on his own personal growth journey and force a mirror in his face of how he couldn’t protect Rye. He wouldn’t always be there to save him. “I torture myself with what could’ve happened. I’m so deathly afraid of you dying. If you died, I would be losing my best friend, my soul mate, my smile, my everything. You make sense to me. You mean so fucking much to me.”

“And you, me,” Rye responded as tears finally broke free and made their way down his face. His forever love was so good with words that Rye treasured every golden drop from his lips, no matter how much pain comes with the beauty. “You were my last thought,” He expressed, keeping their foreheads pressed together as the fear from that day crept up his spine and tore at his shoulder like the constant reminder that his scar would always be. “I heard the sirens, little Danny was gone and Dekcy was passed out, me and Elisa had tended to who we could. I heard those ambulance sirens and I thought about how I wanted to get up and find you now that the real help had arrived. I remember getting up and Elisa yelling something and then it was just your face in the darkness and I felt so safe. And then I woke up in the hospital bed,” He laughed with the ghost of a feeling catching his breath halfway through. Swallowing roughly, he continued through the thick feeling in his throat. “You won’t lose me. I won’t steal you away and I won’t abandon you. But I’ll love you. I’ll go with you on your adventures as you learn how to paint your world with different brushstrokes, and I’ll develop some techniques alongside you,” Avery’s color metaphor may be getting away from him in the emotions of the moment, but JP was used to using context clues when it came to deciphering how Rye’s brain-to-mouth filter worked. “This won’t be Apollo and Hyacinthus. I want to be your technicolor.”

Okay. Rye lost him with the metaphors but he got the general gist. He didn’t know what else to say except, “I love you.” With the surging tide of warmth, Jericho drew the other man with his eyes, before laying his mouth on his. Rye’s sweet lips puckered and like medicine, JP let their kiss soothe his soul and combat all the dark that resided in him. They kissed passionately, fervently, and desperately, with shadows dancing around them. Lost in a bubble of time and space, JP made this moment more about him cherishing Rye than anything else, like him wanting to caress his lover’s thighs and fuck him. Rye’s light moans as their tongues swirled around one another only made his urge far more stronger. Still, as sexy as Rye was when he was being handled by him, JP wanted to keep this shared time PG-13. At least until they ate dessert. Pulling away, so they both could catch their breath, the musician brushed a curl behind Rye’s ear and inquired, “Before you get your mousse, answer me this — since tonight is a night of questions. What was the first thing you noticed about me? What made you think, yeah, I like this guy and want to see where things go?”

“It was your eyes,” Rye answered after a long moment of trying to gain his breath from JP’s sudden bout of passion. He didn’t even need the time to think about JP’s question. It was his favorite memory to dream because he got to relive one of the brightest moments of his life while he slept. “Those big dark eyes under that silly Marty McFly hat staring me down from across the room. I couldn’t hear anyone else around me because suddenly all I was focused on was you and then you were right in front of me when I hadn’t even realized I’d walked over to you and-” His gaze softened as he reached out to hold his forever’s face. “And they were so beautiful, but so full of pain. They were what my ma had always called healer’s eyes, and I knew I’d found someone that would understand the parts of me that others couldn’t, because you had parts like that too. I saw you from the start, Jericho Phillips-Shomer, I love you, and I can’t wait to see where you go.”

“I’m taking you with me, you know that right? Where I go, you go. There’s no other option,” JP brushed his nose against Rye’s to remind him of his presence and that because he knew him, he was changed for good. Not in a bad way either. Jericho would have never thought in a million years that he’d talk about his father with someone, especially not a lover because he thought love was a rare commodity. In came the Shomers and his world shifted. He no longer wanted to play sad songs because for the first time he found something, no, he found someone to call: his. Sure, at the start they both slept around and he knew Rye would always love Mordechai to some degree, but he also knew he had a place reserved just for him in Rye’s heart. A place to call his own. His home. Grabbing Rye’s hand, he placed it on his chest and whispered, “Yours.” This was the sappiest he’s been in some time with Rye and even if it was a little embarrassing, he hoped it made his Sprinkles feel incredibly loved and incredibly wanted. Just how Rye made him feel incredibly loved and incredibly wanted.

“Yours,” Rye parroted back while blushing, closing the hand over JP’s heart and grasping the shirt fabric beneath his fingertips as felt the man’s pulse quicken. He looked at JP so the man could see it, see that he wasn’t looking at his rock or his lighthouse anymore, but that he was looking at his world and his adventure and his ever unraveling story filled with messily scrawled footnotes in every margin. His love above all who keeps his soul’s flame burning bright. “‘Til the ends of this earth and into the stars.”

In good ol’ JP fashion, he wrapped his arms around his lover, burying Rye into his chest and softly sang the last part of the song he was listening to before he entered the apartment.

“If I had a box just for wishes
And dreams that had never come true
The box would be empty
Except for the memory of how they were answered by you

But there never seems to be enough time
To do the things you want to do once you find them

I’ve looked around enough to know
That you’re the one I want to go through time with.”

Once he was done singing, he held Rye in silence and let their silence speak for itself. He closed his eyes, absentmindedly running his hand through Rye’s hair. Who knows how much time passed but to ruin the moment, because they had been too sentimental this whole night, JP trailed his hand down Rye’s back and squeezed his butt, “Are you going to eat your dessert or am I going to eat it for you?”

Yelping in surprise at the action and jumping a bit in the bigger man’s grasp, Rye laughed and pulled back to say, “We could compromise and eat them together, how’s that sound for you?”

“I want something else,” Jericho flirtatiously squeezed Rye’s butt again before heavily sighing dramatically, “BUT I could wait.”

“Or,” Rye squeaked with a blush high on his cheeks before clearing his throat and pulling the man by his shirt into a feverish kiss, keeping his tight grasp of the fabric as he pulled back to whisper in his ear, “We could have the best of both worlds and you can eat it off of me.”

Well hot damn.

JP was quick to push Rye back and climb on top of him. He started with the neck, licking and sucking it before letting his tongue glide up Rye’s neck toward his face and to his ear. Nibbling on Rye’s earlobe, JP used his left hand to get ready and take his boyfriend’s shirt off, at first clamping on his waist. The same hand found a place under his lover’s shirt and his touch built tension and heat between the two of them.

He purred into his forever’s ear, “You don’t have to tell me twice.” With ease, he stripped Rye from head to toe. His tongue swept Rye’s mouth again and from there, the two boys got lost in time, lost in each other. Raw and without restraint, they expressed their deepest emotion, unburdened by disconnect. They merged and tangled, they loved and never let go. JP groaned Rye’s name over and over, continuously expressing his love. Wanting him, loving him. They had their whole lives to explore. That didn’t mean they couldn’t start tonight, exploring every part of each other until they both saw stars.

That’s what love was.

That’s what it meant to meet someone in the middle and finally come to a place of harmony.

Separately, they were in black and white. Together though? They were in a symphony of colors. A beautiful song that painted the other’s world. Their souls were prismatic and the world, their world, needed them.

Edenridge

_{TIMESTAMP: After Dream Girl
FT: Avery Kaine, Jericho & Gavriel Phillips-Shomer}

____________________________________________________________________



____________________________________________________________________

Once outside was cleaned from the coffee disaster, JP taking multiple trips with a cup of water to wash the liquid away from the front of Main Street Music, and Gavriel getting Ave’s water to drink, the three were sitting on a sofa by the instrument corner. They were surrounded by mostly guitars. JP sat on the arm, leaving the couch for his lover and his friend, and absentmindedly strummed his own guitar to Twin Flame by the Gallows, which was part of their unfinished album. Only five phantom tapes existed and he had one. He was a lucky boy.

The song was on the slower side, an acoustic-ballad, similar to the song Bushido from their first album. The story followed two people finding one another through happenstance, and because of that, their wicks ignite. Despite the darkness inside of them, the overwhelming loneliness, they replenish each other’s illumination, unafraid of the creeping shadow that follows them wherever they go. All thanks to the fact that they have one another.

JP believed this song was about Esther and Aponi, though one could easily see the platonic side of each chord, each note and each lyric. He let Aves drink her water in silence as he gently sang the words, hoping this helped her spirit, soul and mind. “You look familiar, have we met before? After many lives forevermore, connecting from under the skin, one light out of a magical twin. I found my dreams but the moon took me away… away from her, my soul flame…”

Holding the cup in between both hands, Avery watched JP play a song she had never heard before. “Did you write this?” She inquisitively asked. Listening to the chords made her think of a rainy day, meeting someone you were fated to deeply love. The person that was a true and honest reflection of who you were. Through space and time, one moment with this person makes anything and everything else pale in comparison. Every rule you’ve ever had before this one person, you knew deep down you’d break it because that was the feeling of inevitability. The feeling that without this person you would not exist. Together, you were home in a cosmic dance, bodies made of celestial light. Every cell in your body, on fire. A beautiful collision. “It’s really good.”

“Ha,” JP continued to strum his guitar, no longer singing the lyrics. He gave a handsome smile, the one his lover adored the most. The smile that told Rye he was at peace and that nothing mattered but this moment, an ever present smile. “I wish,” he chuckled to himself. “Nah, this is a Gallows song. They never got to record it in the studio, and I only got a rough sound bit from a jam session. I hope it does sound good because this is my best translation of what I heard.”

His attention, along with the song he was playing, was pulled away when he noticed Lamb. When did she come into the building? She stood out like a sore thumb. As much as she hated the Scott Street vibe, she always dressed like the Scott Street vibe. He wondered… would his cousin be able to handle herself?

Returning his gaze to the two on the sofa, he pushed his thoughts to the back burner and gave his guitar a pat. “Music aside, do you feel better?” Jericho inquired. His eyes went from Avery’s to Rye’s. His stare softened in clear adoration and then went back to strumming to his heart’s content. The only other people here right now were his cousin and Lamb. He knew his cousin wasn’t going to leave anytime soon so he didn’t have to worry and be an outstanding employee in this instant. With no immediate customers to assist, he chose to stay in his element, doing what he loved and did best. Playing music and making someone feel better. If Lamb needed him he was sure she’d get him, she wasn’t one to hesitate when she needed something especially when it came to buying music for her father.

“Oh wow, that’s neat,” Avery admitted, while subconsciously texting Clayton an update: Holyfuckingshit. I might be dead because Jamie, me, us… we kissed. I’m def ded. Glancing from her phone to the musical prodigy, she raised an eyebrow in intrigue. She didn’t realize there were secret remnants of gold from a timeless band. Short lived but not forgotten. Remnants that true die-hards would love to get their hands on. “And I’m getting there, I think. I still can’t believe that just happened honestly. She told me not to overthink it and how badly she wanted it, she wanted me. I can’t lie and say I didn’t want it. God, I still want it. I want her. But fuck guys, she’s married.” Avery internally scolded herself as she anxiously tapped her fingers on the plastic cup she was holding. “Avery Kaine, the woman that broke up a goddamn marriage.”

“Because as we all know: in Edenridge, adultery is the worst and most scandalous thing that can happen,” Rye replied with a raised eyebrow for the blonde, shifting to face her fully and putting his feet up between them as he rested his head on JP’s thigh. The vibrations from the guitar thrummed pleasantly in his skull and he closed his eyes for a short moment to just enjoy his lover’s talent before returning his attention to the blonde. “Sweet summer child, you’re talking to the legal step brothers that never stopped being lovers when their moms got married. And how do you know there wasn’t something that was breaking the marriage up already?” The younger man watched Avery’s face for her response, content to read her lips and expression while keeping his head where it was against JP behind his guitar.

“That doesn’t make what I did right,” Avery retorted, dreading the consequences of her actions. Her gaydar did think it was weird that Jamie married Russ of all people but she had no choice but to accept that’s what her dream girl wanted. It was also a marriage the Gossip moms would never look too deep into. A perfect cover up. Even with that being said, the Queen of Freaks & Geeks didn’t do anything crazy. She was a girl that worked at a comic book store and the most interesting thing about her life was the comics she read, sold, and exchanged, as well as all the people that found comfort and safety in her dad’s business. “Like I’ve never done something so irrational, so motivated by emotion before. All I could think of was: this could be my only chance to kiss Jamie and now that it’s over, I’m sitting in the aftermath and wondering where it’s going to go wrong.”

This was Edenridge, after all.

“You’re sounding a bit like me right now, and I’m a fan of having a monopoly on myself,” The curly haired man bantered while also giving her a concerned glance. “You weren’t exactly the aggressor, for lack of a better word, like she totally initiated that little session y’all had that fogged up MSM’s windows,” he feigned a slight swoon and fanned at his face. “Honestly I think somehow that caused some good karma ‘cause it sure lit up my day.”

As his lover and friend talked to one another, Jericho did look over his shoulder to search for Lamb, only to find Sadie at a distance mad dogging him. He rolled his eyes and told her non-verbally to just go up to her and be cool. It was clear his cousin needed approval to take this leap of faith. When she finally started making her way to Laura, he breathed out in relief and wished her good luck internally. Sadie was such a silly goose sometimes.

Smirking at Rye’s comments, Avery took a small sip of water. He was right. Jamie was the initiator which was great because that meant her feelings were reciprocated. It was also not great because it gave her hope when there might not be any. “You know what’s wild? I used to have game and be able to sleep with whatever girl I wanted. Bron basically threw herself on me last night and—”

“She did what?” JP stopped strumming his guitar, bringing himself back to the conversation happening around him. He was getting more and more invested by Avery’s life by the minute. Who knew Aves would get caught up with such scandalous drama. Certainly not him. “It’s on brand for Bron but I don’t remember you two being in the same circle. She was at Swerve?”

“Eeyupp,” Avery laughed to herself, the rim of the cup against her lips. She took a gulp this time. “Last night was weird, but basically we were playing games, she gave me a lap dance, and she had Katie recording it.”

“Yeah, and then what?” JP probed.

“Then they sent the video to Jamie and I DIED.” Aves exclaimed, the embarrassment no longer inside her from yesterday. She could tell these two were great at distracting. She should talk to them more often.

JP grinned from ear to ear. Sounds like Swerve Arcana had a party and he wasn’t invited. “That was enough to inspire Jamie, huh?” He teased, placing his guitar to the side, leaning it up against the table. Running his fingers through Rye’s hair, he observed the older woman (his senior when he was a sophomore) eagerly waiting for the tea.

After placing her cup back down, she ran her hand through her own hair and squinted her face, “Not necessarily.” This was getting good. She knew, because it happened to her. “Jamie came by randomly that day. Scared the shit out of me. So I’m being cool, right? Showing her around since she’s literally never been inside of Swerve, ever. She asks me to show her a story and I,” Avery paused momentarily. Leaning toward the two boys, like she was going in to tell them a secret, the suave geek continued, “I told her ‘Why don’t we make a story together?” To emphasize her pick up line, Aves jokingly wiggled her eyebrows.

“Oh man, I should’ve had you as my wingman during the game with my best friend in highschool,” Rye laughed, pushing into the pressure of his love’s fingers on his head. His curls were going to look ridiculous once JP was done playing with it, but it was always a habit of the older man’s and Rye never much cared when his curls frizzed out from being played with. He always longed for physical contact from those he loved, so some curls becoming uncoupled was a small price to pay for the attention he craved. “I feel like corny lines are the way to go, honestly. There’s something much more pure about that,” He said supportively. “Everyone says they hate cheesy jokes until they’re laughing at a pun you made right before you go down on them.”

“Hey it’s just how I be,” Avery commented, surveying JP as he played with his lover’s hair. “I must’ve did something right if it inspired Jamie to make a move.” Finally, she was able to leave the heated embrace with her dream girl as it was and not overthink the consequences that could occur because of it. It happened, she couldn’t take it back nor would she want to. Jamie kissed her and Jamie kissed her back. She’d take the moment for what it was, which was just that: a moment. “I hope this doesn’t mean things are going to be weird between us, but if it is, it is what it is. Now!” Aves clasped her hands together and changed the subject. She jested and asked, “Enough about me. How are you two? Things good in Loversville? Not staying up all night fucking are you? Sleep is important.”

Rye laughed and turned his face into JP’s thigh, enjoying Avery’s candor and abrupt turning of the tables. “I flipped my shit on him last night only to pass out wrapped around him like a koala. Didn’t get too much sleep,” He smirked at her, giving her the silent answer to the second part of her question. “I’m still crazy and anxious and no doubt there are more talks on the horizon, but ultimately I’m glad my dumb ass decided to schlep through a storm on the high of a panic attack.” He reached up and grabbed JP’s hand now that the man had stopped playing the guitar, gently running his thumb over the other’s knuckles and smiling up at him.

Jericho gazed down at his boyfriend. He looked deeply into the other man’s pretty and big brown eyes, warm and polished, like amber when the sun seeps into their window. JP knew Rye’s fears, what made him sad, what made him smile, what made him laugh. He’d like to think his Sprinkles knew the details about him, even through the silence, but he also knew there were some things he would never know unless he told him. Spoke it outloud.

An ongoing struggle was sharing the little things that made it seem like JP was not as put together as he liked to be. Briefly, the musician went into a daze, getting lost in the deep gaze of his lover, as they gently touched each other with their hands. He snapped out of it. It seemed like he didn’t realize he was staring for a moment too long. Continuing the conversation, like he wasn’t just lost in thought, JP sighed and earnestly expressed, “That was my fault.” Bringing his attention back to Aves, he continued while keeping his touch in contact with his soul flame, “I wasn’t clear with some things.”

Rye did his best not to frown as he noticed his lover’s loss of focus before he spoke up. He changed their grasp from him holding JP’s hand to twining their fingers together, tightening his grip both lovingly and to let the man know that he could see him. He knew that he’d been wrapped up in his own crazy since returning from taking care of his savta, and he knew that JP was his rock. He just wanted the older man to know that Rye could be his rock too, if he’d let him. This wasn’t his complex of picking up broken beings and trying to stave off their complete shattering by befriending them, this was a matter of the man he’d loved before he ever understood it not feeling like he could ‘add on’ to Rye’s emotional load. He had room for everybody. He had to.

“I mean I was definitely also to blame,” He countered, having managed to keep any tells off of his face when he returned his gaze to Avery. “I’m great at reading lips and faces, horrible at reading changes happening around me. Plus I overreacted like crazy and didn’t stop to… smell the flowers,” He grinned brightly up at JP, as proud of his little joke as he was sure it would make most lovers groan in dismay. His inability to see or smell his favorite flower as he entered the apartment was something that still left him a bit ashamed, given that it would have at least given him enough pause to not start hurling accusations and insecurities at the man who was just trying to do something sweet. “My Apollo was doing his best, and I wasn’t slowing down enough to see it.”

“You didn’t overreact. Your emotions are valid,” JP grumbled, furrowing his eyebrows. He stared at Rye, not really caring if Avery was about to witness a lovers’ quarrel. Main Street Music was a place he was more himself than his home. It was the place he spent the most time at. Aves would know because she had her own in Swerve Arcana. “I intentionally withheld information from you and it led to you thinking I abandoned you. All because I couldn’t say what was on my mind? That was a jackass thing for me to do.” JP couldn’t even enjoy Rye’s joke and the fact that he was trying to lighten the mood because deep down, he still wasn’t over last night. They put brakes on it and went straight to sex but there was still information that JP withheld. He wasn’t being completely honest and it irritated him that Rye was so forgiving when he was not in the wrong. JP was. “I wasn’t doing my best, and I think you know that.”

Rye shifted uncomfortably under his lover’s gaze, which had become a different shade of intense than they had been when looking down at him earlier. He avoided Avery’s eyes as his own found their way to his feet. He didn’t like being told what he knew, but JP also wasn’t wrong; he was hurt that the older man couldn’t have just said something, and finding his stuff gone or boxed up had been extremely triggering for the anxious man. It had reminded him of when Decky left and he got no closure. More crushingly, it had reminded him of the day he woke up in his house back in Cleveland, where he’d come out of his room and his mother was in the kitchen drinking a glass of wine and staring out at their family portrait on the living room wall by the front door. He had come out to his parents the night before and it had ended in his mother declaring to Yosef that they would be getting a divorce. He had never imagined that his father would spend all night packing just to leave before his son awoke while Gavriel himself had had to take his medication to get to sleep. It was the only reason he had slept through everything and missed the chance to see his father one last time. To think he had left so quickly just to avoid having to interact with Gavriel again. It hurt.

“You weren’t trying to hurt me,” He finally replied, dragging his eyes up to watch JP’s face. This is the man that holds Rye together when he thinks he's falling apart, how can he hold one misjudgement against him? “You weren’t trying to scare me or be cruel, a-at least I don’t think you were, and I can work through some of my own shit about why I reacted how I did. I’m not going to hold a grudge against you for not communicating fully or-or correctly or whatever, especially when I wasn’t either,” He doesn’t talk about his father. JP may know that Rye has abandonment issues, he may know that Rye doesn’t talk to his father, but the younger man had never actually told the story or circumstances behind it. How it was his fault. JP couldn’t have understood the level of pain he’d caused with his actions because Rye had never opened up on that particular matter.

And no matter what JP said, he knew he overreacted, and he knew he was a wreck, and that he could let his anxieties take over and rule his rational thought. He also knew that when he was adrift, getting tossed to and fro in the raging ocean of his anxieties, JP was the lighthouse he steered towards. When JP is the cause, rare as the circumstance may be, Rye feels like he’s drowning and can’t find shore until things are resolved. In times like these where the worst of it is over but things still aren’t fully resolved, it’s like he’s just keeping his head above water, searching for his lighthouse before the next wave crashes down and sends him back under. He swallowed back all of these feelings and thoughts as he declared, “You’re allowed to be human and fuck up sometimes too, you know.”

He was right. As much as JP wanted to argue Rye’s point, he knew his worst enemy was himself. It was hard to dismantle this part of him. There was a reason Rye didn’t talk about his father and there was a reason JP didn’t either. Their paternal figures were a sore spot for the both of them. The main difference was JP had hints and enough information from Gavriel to know why he had as many insecurities as he did, likely rooting back to his father. It didn’t take a brain surgeon to see Rye’s daddy issues. It impacted his love life and Decky suddenly leaving without a word set him back ten fold. He would know because JP had to pick up the pieces. Rye didn’t even have to say much for JP to understand what he wanted and needed. Communication was something Rye was always good at, even if sometimes he communicated too much. It was Rye who made the first move. As abrasive and impulsive as he can be, the younger man knew how to speak his mess into existence and let people know he was doing his best. And that’s all he could do. His best.

Jericho didn’t care that he didn’t know every little detail about his boyfriend. He sure as hell hadn’t told Rye everything. All he wanted was the man he saw a future with to be okay. That goal wasn’t the most unattainable when there were only things that Rye could resolve. Jericho didn’t like feeling useless but Rye was caught in a vicious cycle and he had no idea how to pull him out. Like Rye, he was doing his best but it sucked that he was the cause for his lover’s pain last night. He should’ve just opened up and told him. Sadly, JP was caught in his own vicious cycle. One that prevented him from speaking his mess into existence because he didn’t want to be seen as unreliable and weak. “You’re right,” JP forfeited the battle, trying to force a smile. He clearly had more on his mind than he’d ever like to admit. He opened his mouth to say something more.

“JP, yo! Register,” Sadie called out from the other side of MSM, distracting him from his thought process.

Leisurely, he tapped Rye to sit up and hopped up to his feet from the arm rest. “I’ll be back. Work calls me,” Jericho saluted Avery and Rye, walking backwards, away from the instrument corner. Turning on his heel, the prodigal music boy strolled away, his thumbs hooked in his pant’s pockets.

Avery observed the lovers’ quarrel unfold and then proceeded to see JP’s back get further and further away. She gazed into Rye’s brown eyes, seeking connection if that’s what he wanted and needed. “You okay?” She asked with a kind heart, a worried mind, and an empathetic soul. She didn’t expect the turn of events but if Rye needed her guidance, she would happily provide it. It was the least she could do for him, especially for his actions the past few minutes. Providing her a much needed distraction from Jamie.

Rye gave a hollow laugh and grabbed a pillow from the couch to wrap his arms around, meeting Avery’s eyes briefly before his gaze found his feet once more, this time planted firmly on the ground. “Am I ever?” He joked before clearing his throat and looking over to JP. “Sorry. No, not really. I’m not- not good, I mean. I want him to talk to me. I know I talk too much but I need him to talk more. I don’t think I’m like him…I can’t just look at someone and know what they want, I mean I’ve spent my whole life feeling like I’m playing a board game that everyone but myself has the rules for,” His gaze diverted to Avery once more before returning to the floor. “He always knows how to help me, but I don’t know how to help him. I think most of my ability to comfort people is just dumb luck, and it doesn’t apply with him at all,” the pillow was collapsing under his tight grasp, and he took a moment to just breathe and relax his white knuckled grip on the rough woven fabric. “Sorry. He’s just the best thing that ever happened to me and I can see him hurting, I’ve always seen him hurting but I’ve never been able to help, like he doesn’t open up and it leads to stupid misunderstandings like the one that fucked me up last night.”

Leaning forward, clasping her hands together, she glanced over to Gavriel who was seeking comfort and direction. He was hard on himself, just like JP was. He had daddy issues, just like JP did. He cared deeply, just like JP always has. Those two boys had more common threads than either probably knew. One simply showed his demons more openly and coped by speaking. The chaos that was in Rye’s mind likely wasn’t too different from the chaos in his soulmate’s mind but they grew up in different environments. Rye, an only child, only had to worry about himself and now is trying to be a change in people’s lives because of the loneliness he suffered as a kid. JP, the only boy out of four, had no choice but to worry about everyone but himself and now is stuck in a mentality that if he breaks, everything around him will fall apart. Two sides of the same coin, that complimented each other beautifully. They both simply needed to change their perspective.

“I’m going to give you a piece of advice, warranted or not,” Avery started, reflective and not shifting her position where her elbows rested on her thighs. “My parents are stupid for each other but they taught me a thing or two about having a strong, lasting marriage. Maybe that’s why I can’t get over Jamie,” the geek smiled, getting back to her true self, which wasn’t anxiety ridden. She was level headed, most of the time, with a goofy personality. Aves wasn’t known for letting the unknowns eat at her. She knew, even alone, she was content and happy. Having Jamie would make her life ten times better but she didn’t need Jamie. She desired her, she wanted to compliment her, she wanted to make her smile, but without Jamie? She would always be Avery Kaine, the token geek of Class of 2017.

“When you look at Jericho, I imagine you just know. He is your person. Whether he’s talked about his past or not, there’s more things that weave your souls together than you know. I won’t go too deep into his life, since I’m sure you want to hear it from his lips, and no, he didn’t tell me the details. Sable did. JP’s hand was forced and all he’s ever known is: I have to stand and carry. I have to soak your tears. If I don’t, what happens to me? Will I be okay? Will they leave me? Will I fail them so bad that they want nothing to do with me? I wish I could take their pain away. I wish I could carry it all. If they’re not okay, I’m not okay.” Unclasping her hands, she leaned back and locked her eyes with Rye and gave a kind smile, “Sound familiar?” She let the silence between them speak for itself.

In hopes that Rye would process all her words, she stayed quiet for a little bit longer before urging, “I want you to try your best to break the notion that you are his rock and he is yours. Or lighthouse or whatever cliche you probably got your mind wrapped around. A rock never moves. Neither does a lighthouse. We are organic beings, we’re always moving.”

Rye allowed himself a moment of open embarrassment as the usually fun and geeky girl gave him the gift of words and showed him that she could read in between his own. If he wasn’t aware of how golden what she was presenting to him was- JP’s anxieties he hides, his daily mental fights he keeps hidden from even those he loves most- he’d have joked about her being psychic or breaking the fourth wall as if they’re in a book or a show. But the truth was that it was just Avery, and she was fantastic at watching, listening, and absorbing. This town was damn lucky that she wasn’t an unbearable gossip.

Tapping her pointer finger on her right leg, she thought of her own personal journey and why she was so deeply and madly in love with Jamie after all these years. Why she couldn’t look away no matter how many times she tried. “To expect he will never move and follow that wanderlust you know he has is unfair, don’t you think? That’s forcing his hand and showing him that you, Gavriel, cannot be your own light. Your own rock. The thing about relationships is, we’re not rocks. We’re not inanimate objects. We’re films. We’re stories. We all have our own strengths, quirks, flaws, the whole nine yards. We start off as black and white, which back in the day was a phenomenon. The fact that we could even film? Amazing. But then you met him, you saw him for the first time, and things were never the same. JP brightened your life, brought a smile to your face, loved you for you and never asked for you to change. JP made your world better, but at the end of the day, that’s your world and he wants to make home in your heart, like you’ve made a home in his.”

Turning herself fully toward the sweet, younger boy, she gave a playful grin, “Gavriel, be his technicolor. Enhance and brighten. Color makes a movie so engaging, so rich, but he is still his own film. You don’t have personal power over him and he doesn’t over you. Bring him joy, intensity, and light. His movie will still be rolling but it’s ten times better with you in it. Be whole, be happy, and the rest will fall into place. Does this make sense?”

Removing his gaze now that he knew she was done talking, Rye looked over to his love at the register. His Apollo. The irony of that being the nickname Rye had adorned him with while carrying a love for the Hyacinth flower was not lost on him, especially in this moment. Hyacinthus had been a human who had caught the eye of the god Apollo, and the two had fallen rather hard for each other. A lover of sports, as many in his culture were, Hyacinthus had gone with Apollo to an open area to practice some discus. His lover and god had thrown the disc high into the sky with the intention of scattering the clouds and giving them more light to play under. The story tends to split here, falling into the two most popular iterations where either Hyacinthus dies trying to catch the returning disc and misses it, only for it to hit his head, or that the god of the west wind, Zephyrus, was also in love with Hyacinthus and in a fit of pettiness he changed the course of the disc to hit the mortal in the head, killing him. Apollo’s powers as a god of medicine could not heal him. The blood from his head sprouted a beautiful flower, which Apollo deemed the Hyacinth in memory of the mortal who had the sun chasing him.

Rye always felt like a mortal chasing a god because JP was so beyond him, so far out of reach yet willing to come down to earth and find mortal muses and love, to find him. He always knew that it wasn’t as drastic as his mind made it to be, and Avery blowing through his internal metaphors like the tornado from Wizard of Oz finally helped him settle away from that thought process. He’d told JP that the man was human and he was allowed to make mistakes, so it was time to stop seeing him as everything but human in his mind’s eye.

“Bring color to him, huh?” Rye asked quietly as he met her gaze once more and gave her a nervous smile. “Ok. Ok, no more rocks, no more lighthouses- and that’s freaky as shit that you knew what I was thinking by the way, but we’ll get to that another time- but instead brighter color, turn this shit into the infomercials of old where they talk about remastering the black and white into technicolor and shit. I gotchu. I can do that, right? I mean I could try at least and if I’m gonna be my own light then you need light to make colors in the first place-” he rambled quickly, losing focus as he took Avery’s words in and worked on convincing himself the rest of the way. He dropped the pillow as his hands began flying along with his words. “-I totally got this, just get me a glass prism ‘cause I’ll shine rainbow light all over this bitch!”

His enthusiasm was rewarded with laughter from the older woman. “Thank you, dude. This actually helped me too, believe it or not.” Avery nudged the side of him and looked at him with appreciation while he returned the gesture. Standing up, she grabbed her cup of water and turned to the younger man. She was his senior when he was a freshman. It was nice to feel of use by someone not of her usual anxiety ridden clientele (damn Midnighters). “Sometimes you have to speak out loud to understand what’s on your mind. Maybe that’s exactly what your boyfriend needs.” She winked at him, before glancing up and noticing the man of the hour. “Speaking of the devil,” she nodded at JP who had watched his cousin and Lamb take their leave, together. “Lamb made a new friend?”

“Something like that,” Jericho mused, knowing Lamb’s life was about to turn upside down.

“Okay cool. Well. As much as I’d love to stay, I have a job to do but this was awesome. We should totally do this more often. Maybe less bickering though,” she teased, sticking out her tongue. “Thanks, you two. Really. I do hope what happened today is a beginning, not an end. But I guess we’ll just have to wait and see! Until then, you know where to find me.” Aves took a dramatic bow, like a jester would for a royal court. Once she said her goodbyes, she dismissed herself.

As the geek queen walked away, JP reached for Rye’s hand and pulled his boyfriend to his feet. “We should do a trial interview before you see Beau tomorrow.” He briefly paused, searching in Rye’s big, brown eyes to find the emotions that were troubling him. “I need to go through our donation pile and see what’s sellable, we can go over some questions while I work? Would that be okay with you?” Oh and before he went too hard in planner boyfriend mode. He wrapped his arms around his boyfriend and gently bent back Rye’s head across his arm. Softly and with tenderness only meant for his lover, JP kissed him. There was a leisure progression in intensity, his insistent mouth parting Rye’s lips sensually. This was Jericho’s way of apologizing. He felt bad for the way he acted and the best way he could show how he felt was through a kiss. Pulling his head away from Rye, he whispered, “I’m sorry. Be patient with me please.”

“How could I ever be anything less,” Rye replied in a breathy whisper as he stared up into the dark eyes that reminded him of moonlight forest paths and polished gemstones. Rarity and beauty all found in the gaze of a man he’d never have found had he not started his journey by being true to himself. He’d followed that long path right into his forever’s arms and he never wanted to leave. “We can definitely do a mock interview, but if you’re tired and want to focus on the donations I’ve got no problem just working on the possible questions myself, homework style. I know you didn’t sleep much, and I can do some things on my own,” He kissed his love once more to show he was being light-hearted before returning to the couch to grab the journal he’d brought with him from the apartment. He opened it for JP to see the small list he’d started earlier this morning of possible questions that could come up in the interview, a few of them even having answers written below. “I know it’s not much, but I already started.”

“If that’s what you want,” JP ruffled his boyfriend’s hair. “I still want to do a mock trial before the day is over. I think it’ll be fun to act like Mr. Beau. Throw in some literature quote and it turns into a therapy session.” Jericho chuckled, thinking of his one of a kind English professor, always down to listen and provide wisdom when needed. A good man in a town full of darkness. “But for now, I’ll let you do your thing.” JP leaned down and gave another quick peck on Rye’s lips. “I won’t be too far if you need me,” he muttered before stepping back and putting distance between them.

“You never are,” Rye replied to the empty space that Jericho had previously inhabited, journal held tight to his chest. JP was still focused on what Rye wanted instead of what he wanted himself, but Rye had to admit that the idea of JP sounding like Mr. Beau put another smile on his face as he watched JP head to the donations, taking his own seat back on the couch and grabbing a pen off the table so he could return to the lined page before him. “And I think I always will.”

Edenridge

_{TIMESTAMP: Late Tuesday Morning
A @Venus & @Aces Away Collab
Featuring Mordechai Boaz & Introducing Adora Diamondheart}

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I made a wreck out of my hand
I put it through the wall
I made a fist and not a plan
Call me a reckless wrecking ball

The song Mika had shown him years ago filtered out of the tinny speaker of Mordechai’s battered old phone. The one he’d had when he left Edenridge had been wrecked within the first month, and when he met Allegra and the woman noticed he was without, one of her diner coworkers gave him an old Nokia 215 that she was switching out for a newer model. It’s the same phone he’s had ever since, and it has proven time and time again that despite its screen it still remains as unbreakable as the original Nokias. Granted, there were several scuffs and dents in the actual body of it, but it still worked and that’s honestly all Mordechai really needs in a phone.

He continued his routine of patching up the hole that his fist had made in the wall by his bedroom door, eyes bloodshot and nose and cheeks red from emotional exertion. He’d finished his crying and shaking and self loathing about five minutes prior, and after rubbing the tear tracks off of his face he had slowly gotten up and grabbed the patch kit and got started on fixing up his mess. As he was securing the mesh in place, there was a soft knock on his door before it was gently opened by the very woman whose wall he was fixing.

“Hey Auntie,” Mordechai spoke up with a scratchy voice, while the freshly showered Adora stood at the doorway. “How was your jog?”

I'm just a big ol' wrecking ball

God, that Russian jackass truly had the worst taste in music.

The first time Adora Diamondheart had laid eyes on Mordechai Boaz and his brother Danny was during the winter of 2011-- nearly ten years ago. Her older sister Tama, along with the members of her Serpent family, had visited the reservation to spend the holidays with her and her mother. As they all filed out of the SUV and went on with their affectionate, enthusiastic greetings, the then seventeen year-old Adora had noticed the two unknown boys nervously exit the vehicle and remain lingering beside it. The older boy’s hardened expression seemed out of place for his young age as he had a protective arm wrapped around the younger one, who clung to him looking scared as ever.

Their hesitation, and the way the older boy’s sharp eyes burned holes into the Native teenager all afternoon, raised questions about their origins. Sometime during that first night, Adora had discreetly approached Tama, eager to know more about the apprehensive, timid new additions to this year’s festivities. Their story had left the teenager in tears. No matter how hard she tried to process it, she couldn’t wrap her head around knowing there were people out there capable of damaging their children in such a cruel, heartless way. It made her angry, sick to her stomach, and determined to show them the way they should be treated.

From that point onward, Adora had taken the Boaz boys under her wing. She became one of their many new protectors-- taking turns in playing the role of mother, older sister and aunt whenever necessary. With patience, kindness, encouragement, sympathy, attention and a listening ear, she had won Mordechai’s and Danny’s trust and their love. They had been there for her after Tama’s passing, providing her with a love and comfort she didn't know she needed. She had mourned Danny’s death like she’d lost her own child. She had worried about Mordechai’s safety since the day he left; praying for his well-being even when she wasn’t a very religious person. She’d breathed a sigh of relief when she’d heard he was back, trying to better himself. And she’d cried tears of joy when they’d finally been reunited, knowing he was safe and back where he belonged.

Mordechai, Jonie and Maliq: three young men with the future at their fingertips… But forever Adora’s little boys.

“It was good,” came Adora’s soft response, accompanied by a gentle smile and choosing to overlook the activity he was performing. She had learned very early on that bringing attention to the consequences of Mordechai’s overstimulation would only serve to make the young man sink deeper into a negative headspace. Instead, she would do what she always did: display her availability if he wished to speak about what was bothering him and provide whatever support he needed. “Can I come in?”

“‘Course,” Mordechai replied with a bob of his head, starting on the first layer of wall compound and evening out the edges with his scraper. He refused to look her in the eye until he finished his little project, but as she passed him he visibly relaxed, shoulders dropping as the swipes of the scraper went from handyman quality to a painter with a canvas. “Ya pass any’a the girls on the way up here?”

“Nope. I came in through the back,” she replied with a wink, making reference to the French door in her bedroom that led to the side of the house near the backyard that was used whenever someone needed to make a discreet exit. The last thing Adora wanted was to interrupt any emotional conversations being had by her guests, so she chose to avoid the area altogether. Having received permission from Decky to enter the room, the sun-kissed woman stepped inside, closed the door behind them and settled in the middle of the ruffled bed, crossing her legs together. “How are you holding up?”

“‘Bout as well as the wall, I guess,” He laughed emptily while nodding at all the patch marks from years- and breakdowns- gone by. He set the bucket and scraper down, brushing his hands off on his pant legs before dropping down on the bed next to her and flopping onto his back to stare at the ceiling. “Still no answers for me, for Danny. Still fuckin’ up an’ hurtin’ everyone around me, but hey,” He gave the world’s most unenthusiastic fist pump before continuing with a sarcastically sung, “At least I’m sober~!”

Adora's response was instant. “Don’t you downplay that shit!” she hissed at him, grabbing a pillow from nearby and smacking Decky in the face with it. “Getting clean and staying sober isn't for the weak. Give yourself more credit than that."

“Thanks, Auntie,” Mordechai replied to the tough love, huffing and rolling his eyes when she removed the pillow from his face, knowing that there wasn’t any reason to deny her words nor the upcoming conversation, especially since he’s the one that essentially started it.

“You’re welcome.” Adora placed the pillow beside Decky's head and laid face up on the bed beside him, resting her head on the plush surface. "Now let's break it down and talk about the rest of it. What do you want to lead with: the lack of answers or how you say you're 'hurting everyone around' you?"

He turned his head to the side to stare at Adora’s profile, taking in the same look in her eyes that both he and Poppy carried, as well as TNT back home. The look that told of the loss of a sibling, and the fact that they were never far from the forefront of the survivors’ minds.

“I’m just sick of guessin’,” He started without any warning, returning his gaze to the ceiling to think about the past two years. “I always think I’ve finally figured out why he did it ‘til I’m thrown another curveball. I can say I know why but that’ll always be a lie. I treated Charlie like shit, y’know? But Danny, he always chewed me out for it, always stuck up for the guy when I decided ta get physical. I dunno how Hard Times felt about me in the end, but I know he didn’t hate Danny. I can live with all my unanswered questions ‘cept this one.” Because that was the root of it all, wasn't it? The fact that he was here and Danny never would be again? “I just can’t accept that my baby brother died ‘cause'a some fuckin’ mistake, or ‘cause Charlie was just so fuckin’ cracked that he ain’t even cared ‘bout who he shot,” Mordechai balled his hands into fists at his sides, fingers twisting the soft bedsheet beneath them with vice-like intensity as tears of frustration once again stung at his eyes. “It was Danny, he was goin’ places, he was gonna go ta college! I never planned ta survive past 18, never really even wanted ta, and if it comes down to me or Danny, I didn’t deserve ta. But he did. What kinda failure is the reason that his own kid got shot?”

There it was. His Kid. The real bottom of his emotional iceberg, the deepest part of him that he couldn’t even admit to himself until now, in the safety and warmth of Adora’s home and heart; Danny wasn’t just a little brother to Mordechai, he had been his first dependant. His first son. He’d raised Danny, he’d kept him alive and fed when their parents wouldn’t. Danny had been his entire reason for the emancipation, for living and fighting for another day. As much as he never would have said it to the younger Boaz, Mordechai had often dreamt of seeing him graduate highschool, and go off to college, to get out of this cursed fucking town and learn what true freedom felt like. He’d dream that Danny would grow up and have a spouse that made him happy, that he had forgotten all about his horrible past, and even his big brother and the horrible darkness that haunted his every step. Mordechai would always wake up from those dreams with tears drying on his face, but a smile on his lips, refusing to tell Danny what caused the strange reaction. They were some of the only times he felt hope for the future, even if it wasn’t his own.

Sobs filled the silence following his words until, tone strangled in grief and regret, the barely stable man finished by choking out, “I just want the one answer, Auntie, why my baby boy?”

Adora pursed her lips together for a moment, feeling her own mahogany eyes well up with tears even though she tried to remain the rock that Mordechai so desperately needed at the moment. When the news of the shooting at Edenridge High had reached her ears, the native woman’s stomach had dropped to the floor. Her two nephews had already graduated, but the Boaz boys and some of her reservation sisters were still enrolled at the school. The shooter was identified to be Charlie Decker, and her heart had gone out to Mitena at the feelings she was probably experiencing regarding her half-brother. But when the deceased list was revealed and Danny Boaz’s name had been on it, any sympathy Adora had felt had been thrown out the window.

The brunette had felt the same way Mordechai was expressing when she’d heard the news. She had been heartbroken. She had been sad. She had been mad. She was back once again back on that roller coaster of grief she’d experienced at the loss of Tama, Zeti and Quintel. Why would anyone want to cause harm to little Danny, of all people? Why had he, her sister and her lovers met their demise so soon in their young lives? Why had fate decided to play this cruel card on their loved ones like that? The questions had tortured Adora for what felt like forever. But eventually, after years of growth and introspection, she had come to the conclusion that some inquiries just didn’t have any logical answers. It was a harsh reality that she wished she could change, but couldn’t.

“I wish I had the answer for you, honey, I really do.” Adora said in earnest, gently running her fingers through Mordechai’s dark locks of hair while the sobbing man turned into her and hid his face in her chest like he’d done for years. After the Boaz brothers warmed up enough to her to allow physical contact, they’d spend hours curling up to her like kittens, allowing her to shower them with affection. She was glad she was able to provide him that same comfort even now. “Tama’s been gone for ten years now, and I still find myself asking that question from time to time. It took me years to come to peace with the fact that there are things that will always be a mystery to us. But what I can tell you, though, with absolute certainty, is that Danny wouldn’t have wanted to see you give up.”

She took a moment to kiss Decky’s forehead before continuing. “It doesn’t matter whether you weren’t planning to live for as long as you have or that you feel like you didn't deserve to. I felt like I didn’t deserve to, either. After Tama died and I went off the deep end, I used to look at myself in the mirror and imagine how disappointed she would be for the decisions I ended up making in my life. But as time went on, I realized that this was no way to live. This was no way to honor my sister’s life. Instead of focusing on the negatives and what I couldn’t change, I decided to focus on the positives and what I could change. For better or for worse, you are here. You’re alive, and you’re breathing, and you’re still fighting on. The best way you can honor Danny’s memory is by living your life to the fullest and taking advantage of every opportunity that comes your way, not by drowning yourself in regrets. I promise you that there are so many of us who feel grateful and lucky to have you in their lives. I don’t ever want to lose you, too.”

“I just feel so fucking selfish. I can’t regret leavin’, ‘cause I had ta, but it fucked with so many people just ‘cause I thought I ain’t had any impact on people’s lives,” Mordechai lifted his head up to look Adora in the eyes. “I come back and then Lanie left town before I could even really think’a talkin’ ta her, I wasn’t there for Jade and Poppy and my crew, or Rye. Shit, I left Sunshine behind, and someone that… I could have had somethin’ more with, too. ‘Cause let’s be honest: me and Lanie wouldn’t'a lasted outside’a highschool even if things did go right.” He scrubbed at his eyes and took a deep breath before continuing, “I left ‘cause it was what was best for me. The first time I ever did somethin’ just for myself, and I’m strugglin’ ta gather up all the consequences before I can even try and start healin’ 'em. I’m makin’ things up with Pops and J, but Christ do I have a ways ta go,” He finally let go of Adora and rolled back onto his back, the old twinkle lights strewn across the ceiling like mock stars drawing his gaze.

“You just said it, babe: you did what was best for you at the time,” she coincided with him, validating his decision even when she’d been one of the people it had indirectly. “I understand you feel guilty about how your leaving affected other people, but you had to do what you needed to save yourself. That was a time where you had to put yourself first.”

“Y’ever hear her, Auntie,” He asked after a moment of silence of pondering her words, his voice leveling out as the tears dried from his eyes. “When you’re doin somethin’ that y’know ya shouldn’t in the big picture but you’re all tunnel vision? I swear Danny’s ghost was yellin’ at me ta turn around before his body was even in the ground. I had more of a life in Edenridge than I was ever able ta see when I was there. I know I wouldn’t’a been able ta appreciate it or even see it if I never left, but my little mental Danny was givin’ me grief the whole two years. ‘Specially when I relapsed and left my kids.”

Adora shook her head. “I can’t say I’ve ever heard her voice. But I have dreamt about her sometimes, in moments that I’ve felt like I’m at my lowest or when I’ve felt like I could use some guidance,” the brunette admitted in a confession she’d only ever really voiced to Maliq and Jonie. “They’re always the same, too. They always start with Tam wrapping me up in her arms with the same love she showed me when she was still with us. Then we sit down by the river, and she braids my hair with red velvet ribbons while we discuss whatever’s on my mind. In the dreams, Tam’s never judgemental. She gives me the same words of wisdom and encouragement as she did before. It’s as if she knows exactly what I need to hear and when I need to hear it. I know it might sound odd to some people, but I’m sure you’re one of the few who would understand.”

Mordechai nodded in response as he thought back to a dream he’d had of Danny a bit after returning to Edenridge. Danny had returned to him as a ghost, and they had gone to the southie kids’ special spot in Lyon park to wait for Poppy to show up. They’d been lying in the grass talking and Danny had thrown a counterpoint at every self-deprecating thought that fell from Mordechai’s lips, including telling him that he’d left his mark on people just as much as Danny himself had. He’d wanted Mordechai to acknowledge that he mattered outside of his little brother, he’d wanted his older brother to say ‘I wanna live, it’s not all on my shoulders, your death wasn’t my fault,’ but even in the dream, his twisted guilt wouldn’t allow him to. So Danny had just asked him to instead think about what he said, and Mordechai had ceded to that request. Then he’d woken up hungover and in the midst of his withdrawals and he promptly forgot about everything he dreamed as he spent the day curled up on the bathroom floor.

But he remembered now, and what Adora had said about her dreams with Tama had unlocked the memory for him. He’d grown a lot since the dream, but he still carried so much guilt that if his brother appeared to him in another dream now he’d give him those big sad eyes that were just a brow furrow away from being disappointed. He wanted to show Danny he could move forward, and everytime he tried something pulled him back again and it was always his fau-

Oh.

“It wasn’t my fault,” He finally admitted in a hushed whisper as he stared at the twinkle lights through the lazily rotating ceiling fan blades, mentally blaming the strobing effect it caused for the fresh tears in his eyes. He could never say it before. Never believe it enough to say it. But Danny would never blame him for it. So he had to let it go. “Danny wasn’t my fault. I couldn’t control it, Auntie, I couldn’t control anythin’ that was happenin’. I loved him, love him still, and he would be so fuckin’ pissed if he knew I blamed myself. And he’d be pissed ‘cause he always knew that it wasn’t my fault,” He looked into her eyes, tears streaming down his face again but voice steady and somber. “I have ta prove ta him that I can live for myself,” the tone tightened with a trace of fear and hysteria. “But fuck, I’ve never really done that before.”

Noting the change in Decky's demeanor from acceptance to fear, Adora tenderly wiped away his tears and resumed her stroking of his hair. She could tell that the young man had reached a breakthrough, but that he needed that little push to step across the threshold. “I know it can take some time to fully process the idea of doing something we haven’t before. And it’s totally okay to feel scared about it, too. As long as you find reasons to keep fighting for, don’t lose hope and remind yourself that you’re not alone, you’ll be able to do anything you set your mind to. I mean, you’ve already started making a change when you decided to get sober-- and I bet at one point you thought that was something you’d never do again." She pointed out, hoping that this accomplishment would help put the rest of things into perspective for him. It was important for the native woman to show the young man how capable he was and how in control of his own destiny he could be. “You’re a warrior, Mordechai. You’re so much stronger than you give yourself credit for. And when you need a little help keeping that in mind, there’s a lot of us out there ready to remind you of it.”

“Warrior,” Mordechai repeated while pulling his head back to pin her with a searching gaze, wiping the last of his tears away himself. What she said had struck a chord, and logically he knew being sober was a big thing for him, but that was still something he felt he did for others’ sakes first, so the ones he loved didn’t have such a pained look in their eyes whenever they saw fresh tracks. He let out a soft laugh and looked away. “That’s what my name means. Mordechai Oren roughly comes out as Warrior'a Ash. Makes me think Alana might’ve actually had a lil' bit’a hope when she first chose my name; by the time Danny came around, well, Daniel Amos means Bearer'a Burden and Judgement, kinda speaks for itself,” He looked back at her, face dry but eyes still a bit hazy and red as he spoke of his mother. “Makes me wonder exactly what she was on when she had both’a us. Then again, I’m always wonderin’ what she was on and what she was thinkin’ by not abortin’ if she already knew she ain’t want us.”

“Well, there’s another name I’d like to use for your mother that I’m sure fits her better than Alana, but I’ll bite my tongue out of respect for you,” Adora replied in a surprisingly sharp tone, the utter repugnance she felt for Mordechai’s mother oozing from her voice and eliciting a smile from the man she was comforting. The native woman wasn’t a hateful person by any means. Her compassionate heart held no room for grudges. That wasn’t to say, however, that there wasn’t a special place in her heart to hold a burning hatred for family members who harmed their children in any way. Those were people she would not hesitate to put her hands on if she ever came across them on the street. Alana and her equally repulsive husband were definitely on the list. “And there’s no use in torturing yourself thinking about whatever she was or wasn’t thinking about, either. If I were to guess, there probably wasn’t much thinking involved…” she trailed off, pausing for a moment to let Decky read between the lines before carrying on. “But with all of that being said, what actually matters right now is that you’re here, and you’re wanted by people that actually do care about you, who want you to be happy and who only want what's best for you. I don’t care how many times I have to say it or show it to you, but we do love you, Mordechai. We love you so very much, and we’re so glad you’re here with us.”

“Shit,” Mordechai huffed and threw his arm over his eyes and reddened face, voice choked up once more as he took in Adora’s words. “I think I’m finally startin’ ta believe it when y’all say shit like that."

“Good, because I’d rather you get sick of me saying it than ever let you forget it,” she declared, pulling Mordechai into another tight hug to ensure without a doubt that her point would be proven.

Edenridge

^{Timestamp: Tuesday, Late Morning
Introducing: Zion "Shy Boy" Yakovich & Lacey "Sharpie" Cernis
Collab also features: Sunshine Cernis & The Sinclair Twins}

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“Lacey there ain’t enough makeup in the fuckin’ world ta make ya look pretty, so stop hoggin’ the fuckin’ bathroom!” Sonny Cernis yelled to his older sister as he banged on the bathroom door. They only had one fucking bathroom in this apartment and this bitch decides she needs the mirror in there to put her face on for an hour. “Just put a fuckin’ bag over your head an’ get the fuck out!”

“Oh shuddup, bitch!” There was a snarly, unapologetic, and authoritative woman’s voice on the other side of the door.

“I’ll shut up when ya get your flabby ass out of the can!”

“Oyyy…” Came the tired groan from Zion’s side of the pullout couch in the living room. The three of them were packed into this tiny one bedroom apartment at Lost Souls like the Curtis boys from The Outsiders, Lacey having called the bedroom and Zion and Sonny sharing the queen sized pullout. None of them wanted to live alone, but Zion knew Sonny would never admit that it was mostly his fearfully tight grasp that kept them all from getting their own units. While Zion certainly didn’t get warm feelings at the thought of their inevitable separate living arrangements, not leaving Sonny alone with his own thoughts had the biggest gravitational pull on the trio. Thinking in silence just revved the younger Cernis up more and had him either climbing the walls or just plain yelling at them, and it only pissed him off more when the cracked paint didn’t respond. At least when they were all together Lacey yelled back and Sonny would shut up for a while once she’d cowed him. It seemed a bit less crazy that way… right? “What’s up? Why’re we screamin’ now?”

“Oh good mornin’ sleepin’ beauty! Took too many Xanny’s last night durin’ the storm, huh? Feelin’ groggy?” Sonny greeted with a quirk of his eyebrow, temporarily ceasing his knocking.

“Fuck off Sonny, y’know I hate storms,” Zion replied through a yawn before wiping at his eyes. Just to be petty, he took the foam bed divider that laid between their halves of the bed and tossed it onto Sonny’s neatly made side. His older brother flipped him off while he himself sent the other a shit-eating grin as he got out of bed and left his own side undone. He scratched at the back of his head and yawned again before heading to the fridge. Before he even bothered opening it he asked. “Anythin’ ta eat?”

“Yeah, totally!” Sonny called back to him with a sarcastic smile. “We found time between the storm and wakin' up this mornin’ ta head out for all the essentials!”

“Could’a just said no, jackass.”

“No, jackass,” Sonny deadpanned before he went back to banging on the bathroom door. “I’ve needed ta piss for half an hour ya bitch, come the fuck on!!”

“Who’s fault is that?!” Lacey growled, annoyed at her ill tempered brother. “You know when I get ready for work you twat. Next time get up when the sun fuckin’ rises or ev’n better since you got a dick: PEE OUTSIDE!” She let the damn idiot wait another two minutes, giving no fucks about his bladder. Once she was satisfied with his agony, she threw the door open glowering at him, “I ain't tryna’ look pretty, dumbass, that’s your job. Prissy ass jailbait motherfuckin’ lookin’ ass. Now fuck outta’ my way.” She shoulder-checked her brother and marched to the small dining room table to grab her purse. With a few heated curses, Sonny righted himself and slammed the bathroom door closed behind him.

Grumbling to herself, it was too early for Sonny to be a little bitch, but sadly, he was always a little bitch, she took out some cash for Zion. In between her fingers was a stack of tens. One hand waited for him to take the cash, the other hand dug in her bag to look for her phone. “Get yourself a sandwich and some ice cream, on me, and I needs you to get the essentials,” she instructed and soon after added, purposely yelling so the man in the bathroom could hear her, “Since Sunny D a LAZY MOFUCKA!”

“FUCK OFF! I’ve had a job since I was ten, the fuck is that lazy?!” Sonny's irritated response filtered through the bathroom walls.

“A’ight mama, thanks,” Zion cut in before another screaming match could start between the Cernis siblings, grabbing the cash from her and stuffing it in his pocket as he moved over to the kitchen counter. He grabbed her phone, which he’d put on the charger last night after she’d passed out, knowing it would have died before she woke otherwise. Tate always had a lot of jobs for her, and sometimes she was too tired when she got home to do more than drop her purse on the folding table in the kitchen and drop onto her bed. Sonny too, as the Carlisle crew captain, always forgot to charge his cell when he schlepped through the door, typically in the dark hours of the morning. Zion always made a point to check both Cernis siblings’ phones and put them on their chargers before he went to sleep himself. He could never sleep until he knew they were both home safe anyways. He handed the fully charged device over to Lacey and asked, “Need any more smokes?”

“Aw baby, what would I do without you?” Lacey’s demeanor changed when Zion was beside her with her charged phone in hand. Peeling it from his gentle grasp, she gave him a kiss on the forehead before going back to her purse to check how many cigarettes she had left. Half a pack. Quickly calculating the one hundred and thirty she gave him and what they needed, she shook her head, “Nah, I’m good. This should last me for two more days. Focus on toiletries and meats.”

While she did get paid fairly decent for a serpent, she chose to stash most of her money in the floorboard of her bedroom for emergencies and for Zion’s college savings, if he wanted to get a higher education. She probably should open a bank account for him but she hated walking into that ritzy place. At least here she knew where her money was, though there was still the risk of the apartment catching on fire or them being forcibly evicted. She could only hope nothing happened to them and their small home. She’d be so pissed if all her hard earned money went to waste. That was for her beloved Shy Boy. “Oh, and when you go, try to make a friend, you hear? You need more than just that Pang Pang big boobah girl.”

“Hey, there’s nothin’ wrong with Pangerz,” Zion defended his best friend lightly before laughing a little, knowing that Lacey meant nothing bad by it and taking no real offense. Likewise, she knew he wouldn’t be upset by her saying he needs more friends. He didn’t call her mama for nothing, and Lacey Cernis has made it very clear how she views Zion. And sometimes, like just then when she kissed his forehead, he could close his eyes and remember how it felt for his ma to do the same thing for him before she disappeared. Sometimes he wonders if his ma is still out there, or if she’s passed on to be with his late friends Conan and Danny. And yeah, one way he’d never respond to Lacey’s needling for him to get more friends is to mention that well he used to have more. “But I’ll do my best, just for you mama.”

“Gag me with a fuckin’ spoon!” Sonny’s voice called out through the thin walls before they heard him turn on the faucet.

Zion rolled his eyes and smiled at Lacey before hesitating for only a second. He caught her by surprise with a tight hug and a kiss to her cheek before he detached himself and disappeared out the apartment door with a quick, “Be back later!” thrown over his shoulder.

“Call me if you need me!” And as he walked out, Lacey was back to cheekily teasing and yelling at her dimwitted brother, “Sunny, haven’t you heard? Choking is my speciality! Don’t get my hopes up, prick!”

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Sitting on a chair by one of the pastel garden tables outside of the ice cream parlor, in a cutesy get up (hating it mind you), Autumn watched her ex’s Instagram story gritting her teeth. She still hadn’t told her dad she needed a new phone so she was using Carrie’s to stalk. Carrie advised against it, but of course, she was a sweetheart and knew if she didn’t give her phone up, Autumn was going to walk from the parlor to his pinned location on snapchat to key his car and choose violence instead of kindness. She chewed on some almonds, barely paying attention to her surroundings. Her daily stalking routine was interrupted by a phone call from her brother. Sighing to herself, she picked up the phone and answered, “What? You better make this quick. I only got five minutes left of my fifteen.” Leaning back in her chair, she watched a familiar face pass by her. “Might make it ten. Not like we’re busy right now. When are you coming home anyways? Dad’s worried.”

Zion walked up to the ice cream shop with grocery bags in his hand and shoved into his tattered backpack, having made sure this was his last stop so that the ice cream didn’t melt while he tried to shop. If he’d just been getting some for himself it wouldn’t matter, but he wanted to make sure to get Lacey and Sonny a pint each of their favorite while he was here. As he headed to the door, he took a moment to glance back at the scowling brunette at one of the picnic tables, running his eyes up and down her outfit and submitting the beautiful picture to his memory before he shouldered his way through the entrance only to land eyes on yet another beautiful face that he always loves another glimpse of.

Rocking her cute pink outfit, Caroline twirled on her heel when she heard the bell ring and pranced to the ice cream display. With bubbly enthusiasm, she beamed at their new guest and gave their token greeting in the most warm and welcoming of ways, “Welcome to Delicate Delicacies! Home of the sweetest little things, like me! How may I serve you?” Honestly, some of her favorite moments at work were when she was alone behind the counter because she could be her best winsome self without her boss, Vivian, outshining her and without grumpy Autumn being such a vibe killer. Thankfully, Autie was on break and Viv was in the back making fresh cookies and cream ice cream.

When she registered who had entered the parlor, her smile grew wider as she said her classmate’s name in her adorable sing-song voice, “Ziiiiiiionnnnnnnnn!” she let out a little giggle and chirped, “Long time no see. How’s your summer been? Oh you must try our peanut and butter jelly flavor. I insist! Guess what it tastes like?!” Carrie was already preparing a small sample for her peer to taste.

“‘S been fine, just been workin’. An’ I dunno, like a PB ‘n’ J?” Zion asked with a playful smile for the bubbly blonde, accepting the sample spoon from her. Her bright smile always seemed to pull one out of him as well, and he liked how such a simple action always seemed to light up the space around her. “Or were ya gonna say that it’s one’a the things here as sweet as you?” He quickly sampled the flavor and threw the small spoon into its designated trash bin before setting his groceries down at his feet.

“Oh shucks,” Carrie giggled and simpered at the compliment, “Flattery will get you free ice cream.” Her voice went from high to low real quick, as she cupped her hand around her lips like she was telling the boy a secret, “But I won’t tell anyone if you don’t.” There was an instant she glanced to the back room to make sure her boss was in her own world and jams. When the coast was clear, she was back smiling at her classmate, “I mean it. Pick a flavor and I’ll give you a pint for free.”

“Never say no ta free shit,” Zion replied, ever the southsider and former street kid, eyes going back to hers from where they had been watching her soft pink lips flirt while being half shielded by her dainty hand. Her bright blue eyes stuck out against the yellow eyeshadow, meticulously chosen to compliment her uniform. He leaned on the counter, getting a little closer to her face as he smirked. “Ya wouldn’t happen ta be one’a the flavors I can take home, would ya?”

There was a delicate sweetness that washed over the blonde Sinclair. Her smile never faded as her blushing flowered, her cheeks now the color of pink champagne. She didn’t want to lose any cool points even though this was unusual territory for her. All the boys flirted with Autumn, not her. Coyly brushing a strand of hair behind her ear, hiding her racing heart and inability to focus on anything other than the boy in front of her, Zion Yakovich, Carrie leaned forward, getting herself closer to his face. Resting herself on the counter, she batted her eyelashes flirtatiously and asked, “Depends. You free this Saturday?” Biting the bottom of her lip, getting lost in his green-light-in-a-dark-night eyes, Carrie saw him and only him.

"I can be persuaded," Zion encouraged, the smirk shifting into a flirtatious grin as he leaned against the counter to mirror her. He hid his surprise at Carrie's suddenly eager participation, considering he'd been flirting with her for a couple years now and she never seemed to reciprocate. He was honestly starting to think about shelving the flirting with her so she didn't feel harassed, and then here she goes asking him if he's free! He found himself straying from her eyes, blue as a clear sunny day on the north side, back down to her softly bitten lip and staying there for a moment before asking, "Why, got somethin' in mind for me?"

“Pool party,” an agitated voice appeared into the ice cream parlor, along with the resounding bell to make her presence known. With Autumn back inside, Carrie was quick to lean up, as if she didn’t just flirt hardcore with her classmate. “You should come. We don’t want to be pretentious asswipes and exclude Southies.” Returning behind the counter, the ornery soon-to-be Queen Clover put Carrie’s phone under the register. With a resting bitch face, she unintentionally glared at the boy as she headed to the bathroom to wash her hands before having to deal with ice cream.

Carrie pouted while she watched her twin come and go with a dark cloud over her head. “Sorry about Autumn. She just went through a bad break up. Derrick cheated on her which led to them fighting in his car, he left her stranded at the gas station and she almost got hurt by this sicko but three boys with unique nicknames helped her out! It’s all very raw especially since he’s acting like she meant nothing to him on social media. But she’ll be okay. That’s part of the reason I gave her the idea of the pool party. It’ll be a nice summer thing before school starts! Also Derrick can suck it and see how much fun she’s having.” Caroline nodded, hoping a little booze and some fun games could set her sister’s mind right.

"Yeah fuck Derrick! Also, that was nice'a ya, y’all must be close," the serpent replied, eyes on the bathroom door that covered the retreat of the hot-tempered Autumn. He knew she had been dating that jackass jockstrap Derrick Miller on and off since the end of sophomore year, but it had never stopped Zion from flirting with her every free chance he got. Both of these girls had a very special place in his heart already, but somewhere along the line his heart started to beat for them too. He was still staring at the door when the other part of Carrie's explanation filtered through, but when it did his head snapped back to her so fast he felt his neck crack. The Carlisle crew group chat flashed across his mind, having been very active last night as Ran and Tov explained their shenanigans early yesterday morning.

"Wait, Autumn's the one that TNT wrenched a fucker's face for?" This is where names would be nice in the boys' stories, but unfortunately they'd simply referred to the girl as 'the Doctor's daughter'- and later daughters when they got to the Doc's house- and Zion is content enough living his life without knowing every little thing about his classmates, so he hadn't even known that she was the Doc's daughter, or even that she had a sister. "Ran said she drives like a fuckin' demon!"

“Oh yes, that’s kind of her thing. Niles taught her everything she knows. People don’t believe it when we say Niles knows his cars and races for our uncle but one day, one day they’ll see,” Carrie talked as if everyone knew her brother, though truth be told if it wasn’t for his class, up until recently he would’ve been invisible. It was his whole courting period with Cece that inspired him to be active on social media suddenly and now locals realized that Hector’s son was hot. Carrie rolled her eyes at the thought before disclosing, “You know, and this is between you and me. He’d be so upset if I told you, but eh, I don’t care. Have you heard of Pink Slip? I don’t know how much you keep tabs on the racing scene.”

"Cars were always more'a Decky an’ Danny's thing," he answered honestly with a small shrug. His mother knew her way around a car, and she always raved that his father had been a genius with them. But aside from that and the toy Volvo V70 R his mom had given him as a child, saying his father drove one like it, he was not so sad to say he didn't have much clue. "Most time I spend in a car is on shifts at work. But if he's got a hard enough name ta be recognized by those in the know then I don't doubt his skills. But anyways, we're off track an’ I got groceries. There was talk of a party an’ a free pint of ice cream, both from a beautiful chick."

Carrie had almost forgotten to serve him. At her job! What poor customer service. “Oh whoospie, what flavor do you want? And as for the party—”

“We’ll drop you the deetz.” Once again, Autumn had abruptly made her appearance back in the main room and this time situated herself behind the register, officially back from her break. Crossing her arms, she scanned Zion up and down and firmly suggested, “You should come, it's going to be our first party—”

“Like ever! Since we’re finally seniors and can make our mark.”

“Yeah, and we want things to be… interesting,” Autumn challenged the southie boy, by not so subtly checking him out with her sharp eyes and smirking. Flipping her hair back, the cheer captain teased, putting her anger toward her ex on the back burner to focus on this boy in her class that she’s talked to but not really talked to, “You look fun. Are you?”

“Oh and ice cream????” Carrie excitedly asked, still needing to make his pint, unsure of what flavor.

“Ice cream. That too.”

"Oh I'm fuckin' barrels’a fun, just wait 'n' see," Zion challenged back, smirk firmly back in place and showing just a flash of teeth. The fucking luck he had to have both of these girls in front of him, finally interacting back and even inviting him to a party! He could probably die happy now. He shook his head slightly to get himself back on track, trying to be mindful of the perishables he had to get home. He also had to get to work soon, but if he could choose to, he would stay in this moment all day. "An’ I'm gettin' three, actually. Butter Pecan for my mama, Neapolitan for my brother and some Raspberry Chocolate Chip for me. How much?"

“Don’t worry about it, Zion!” Carrie exclaimed, starting to make his pints with the grace and speed of a girl who's been doing this for a couple years now. Too long for a girl who didn’t really need the job.

Autumn agreed, “Seriously, don’t.”

In unison, the twins said together, Carrie’s voice higher pitched than Autie’s but both complementing one another like a symphony: "It's on us."

When he leaves they’d make sure to pay for his pints so Vivian doesn’t have a conniption. It wasn't like this was a lot of money for them anyways. He was a friend after all. Helping Carrie bag the pints, the girls simultaneously reached over the counter to give Zion his bags with all the goodies.

“Sweet things for a sweet thang!”

“Really, Carrie?”

“Whattt? I thought it was cute because of our store greeting.” Carrie defended her honor and her dorky comment. There was no way Zion didn’t like it, especially not after their shared moment from earlier. “Anyways see you Saturday, maybe?”

“In a bathing suit, I hope,” Autumn candidly added.

Zion did his best to keep functioning at full capacity after the full blown fantasy that was created by the two of them talking in unison. While they always seemed to come as a pair, he hadn’t really thought of the possibility that his flirting with both of them might end in both of them returning the favor. He certainly hadn’t expected it to happen on the same day at the same time. Now his brain was giving him scenarios that he honestly didn’t have the time to start entertaining.

“Y’all are the best!” He finally said as he came back down to earth, accepting the bags from their hands and bending down to pick up his other groceries, as well as give himself a chance to take a deep breath and compose himself. When he had everything, he straightened back up and threw them both a thousand-watt grin. “I’ll be there Saturday, with some swim trunks. Until then, I have the memory of your beautiful faces,” he couldn’t resist one last flirtatious comment before he headed out the door to return home, calling out. “See ya later!”

And all Lacey had wanted was for him to try and make a friend. Wait until he tells her this!

Edenridge

^{Timestamp: Flashback, March 2018, After Great Expectations
FT: Gavriel Shomer & Decky Boaz}

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____________________________________________________________________

“Thanks for lookin’ after her,” Were the first words out of Decky’s mouth when Rye opened up the door of his and his mother’s apartment nearing the midnight hour. Rye shook his head to dismiss the comment and stepped out into the hallway before closing the door behind him so as not to wake the two slumbering insomniacs inside. Decky was sweating and breathing heavily, so that ten minute estimate must have been based on him booking it from wherever he was before this. “Ya said she was sad?”

“Yeah,” Rye answered blankly as he watched Decky’s chest rise and fall rapidly. “You shouldn’t be running with two fractured ribs you moron, she wasn’t going anywhere.”

Decky shrugged carelessly- which made him wince in pain, dumbass- and worked on regaining his breath while Rye sighed and resigned himself to cleaning and bandaging the reckless snake up twice in a twenty four hour period. With one headphone in his ear and one dangling, and nothing but Decky’s labored breathing and the harsh buzzing of the hall’s fluorescent lighting, the song from Rye’s headphones easily seeped into the quiet space between them.

Had a little spot where you been going through a lot
Wanna shove it to the bottom but a trouble gonna bubble to the top
Then the bubble gonna pop and the hustle never ever gonna stop
Cause you get up in the morning get ahead then get to bed and then you do it all again until the moment that you drop
You need a plot, what you wanna witness with this life you got
You kicked and fought tryin’a get up in your skin and pick this lock
That ticking clock lets you know that bitch you got these situations witchu
Issues someone fit to quick should sit you should down to talk

“Where’s Danny?”

“Passed out with Creed and Jokes in the dorms,” Decky answered easily now that his breathing had returned to normal. He ran his hand through his hair to get it all out of his sweaty face. “I had work.”

“As you said,” Rye replied, gaining a confused tilt of the head from Decky as the other Jew caught on to his tone. “You know that adults struggle really hard with a work-life balance every day, right?”

“Uhh, yes?” The Serpent replied with a surprised blink. Where the hell was Rye going with that line of thought? “What’s that-”

“So like I totally get that you’re busy and you got Danny to look after too. That’s a lot for one guy, especially with school and you working on your emancipation stuff, so I get that you’ve got a lot to do-”

“Rye?”

“And that with all that on your plate shit’s bound to slip through the cracks, and I’m like totally here just imposing on your guys’ friendship business and that’s kind of rude since I’m not a part of it-”

“Rye-” Decky tried again with a small sigh as he saw the boy’s anxiety begin to rev him up, only for the smaller boy to continue bulldozing through his words as he tried to get out what he wanted to say.

“Or even really talked to Poppy without you around before today. Jesus what the fuck am I even doing?” The curly haired boy’s eyes were tracking the flickering fluorescents all the way down the hall instead of meeting the gaze of the person in front of him. How stupid was he being, trying to be mister fix-it for these two people that have probably known each other since kindergarten. Was he really trying to look Decky in the eye and tell him he had to step up as a friend to the person on the Shomer’s couch when Rye couldn’t even stop his own from trying to leave this ever turning earth? “Fuck it, forget I said anything-”

“Gavrie-” Decky tried for a final time, using his thumb and forefinger to apply pressure to his brow and stave off the ramble-induced headache.

“I’m just being stupid and feeling all emotional from the movie, I shouldn’t have said anything and I shouldn’t hav- mmph!” The other boy pushed him back against his apartment door, finally stopping the self-deprecation falling from Rye’s lips by sealing them with his own and stealing the breath needed to say such things out loud. So starts Decky’s ritual of calming the anxious boy down before he rambles his way into an anxiety attack. The other boy’s eyes widened and then fell shut as his mind caught up with what was happening, the hands that had been flailing around pre-shove had found purchase on Decky’s chest as he felt the damp fabric that covered the taller boy’s overheated skin. Decky repositioned one of them to settle over his heart, and Rye felt himself leveling out as he felt a calm heartbeat and was led through his breathing by sharing another’s. He tried to follow the other boy’s lips as he retreated but Decky kept his own hand planted firmly over Rye’s rapidly beating chest, holding the boy against the door and keeping him grounded.

“Ya talk too much, Shomer,” The captain of the Carlisle crew finally said, removing his hand once he felt the other’s heartbeat finally level out.

“Sor-” The apology was cut off by a second kiss, more aggressive as Decky grasped the back of his neck and squeezed a bit in warning before pulling back again, keeping his hand on Rye’s neck.

“Apologize too much, too,” Decky rumbled lowly at the other boy, smirking as he saw the anxiety finally begin to cede in the curly haired boy’s dark brown eyes. They were only a few shades off from Decky’s, more of a warm oak than his own deep mahogany, but when Decky talked to him like this they practically darkened until it was like looking into a mirror. A funhouse mirror, but a mirror nonetheless.

“Don’t act like you like coming here for all my mishegaas,” Rye whispered with a roll of his eyes, tilting his head back against the door to stare up at Decky. “I never even got to the point.”

“Then get ta it,” Decky replied, going to shrug before Rye’s glare and hand on his shoulder stopped him, reminding him of his injured ribs. “I’m fine, I’m on so many pain killers right now I can’t even really feel ‘em.”

“That doesn’t exactly sound safe, Decky,” Rye responded with a frown, the worry deepening when he realized the hand Decky had against his apartment’s door frame was also there to keep him propped up.

“Oy fuckin’ vey Rye,” Decky groaned, dropping his head down onto the shorter boy’s shoulder and slump against him. Instead of buckling under the weight, Rye held him up steadily and began fumbling one hand back for the doorknob, only to pause at his next words. “Stop stallin’ and get ta what ya wanted ta talk ta me about so I can get Poppy home and get back ta work.”

“You need to fucking sleep,” Rye grumbled with a hint of irritation in his tone. “And fine, but after this you have to come in and let me check your bandages, deal?”

“Deal.”

“You need to pay more attention to your friends, or at the very least Poppy,” Rye said over Decky’s shoulder, the other still not having moved from his lean against his anxiety-ridden friend. He could feel the injured boy’s brow furrowing against his shoulder and soldiered on to his reasoning. “She thinks you guys are all moving on from here. You, Jade, Charlie, she said the first time you guys had all hung out together in a while was on Max’s anniversary,” He felt the serpent tense but now he was on the roll he needed to be on, and Decky could feel comfortable expressing his emotions safely into Rye’s shoulder as he processed them. “I get that people get busy, and that finding Max was traumatic for all of you, but you have to realize she needs you more than just the day of her anniversary, right? Like she will never have her sister to turn to again and now in her mind all of her friends are also falling from her grasp, only paying attention to her when it’s required. And that fucking sucks. No one wants to feel like that, dude.”

“She’s-”

“Terrified that the three of you are going to die like her sister did, and obviously none of you have done enough to assuage that-”

“‘Assuage’, huh, pullin’ out the big-”

“To assuage that worry,” Rye continued dutifully. “I’m just saying you need to carve like twenty minutes out of your schedule to watch an episode of something with her, show her that you’re always thinking about her even when she’s not around. Pass out on her bed every once in a while. Send a fucking text to check up on her eveery day, I don’t know man. You don’t have to change all at once Decks, just- something’s gotta change soon before her worries end up a reality.”

“...I hear ya, Rye,” Decky replied after a solid thirty seconds of nothing but their breathing between them. “Thanks.”

“That wasn’t exactly the well thought out response I wanted from you.”

“Sorry,” the other replied, his weight suddenly increasing on the smaller boy who wisely doubled his effort to get his door open. “Tired.”

“Jesus Christ you were supposed to be picking her up,” Rye huffed, finally succeeding in getting his door open and dragging the darker haired boy in after him. With little option left as he got heavier and heavier in Rye’s arms, the boy that was meant to be the comic relief took him to the couch and every so softly led the both of them down into the cushion Rye had vacated fifteen minutes before. With Decky now in Rye’s previous position already passed out against Poppy and his arm still wrapped around Rye’s shoulder, the final teen in the apartment was forced to join in on the rest and pass out on Decky’s shoulder. His last yawned words to fall on deaf ears were, “I’m still changin’ your band’ges b’fore you leave…”

And thus, the true first meeting of the Baggy Eyed Bed Heads club took place, with each of its members completely passed out with no chance of waking aunty time soon.

When Avigail arrived home from her shift at Sinclair Health at one in the morning, the last thing she expected was the group all asleep and cuddling on her couch. With a warm smile on her face, she set her purse and keys down before heading over to the closet, grabbing pillows and blankets from the hall closet and gently situating each teen into the most comfortable position with pillows beneath them and blankets laid across them as fully as possible. She kissed her son’s forehead, running her hand over his curls before heading to her bedroom with her phone, pulling up Hector’s contact.

She had some calls to make so no one worried about their children.

Edenridge

TIMESTAMP: AFTER "APONI & HER HEART", CONCCURENT WITH "MEETING THE STARGIRL"

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_{An @Aces Away & @BrutalBx Collaboration, with @LovelyComplex
Featuring Mordechai Boaz and ReyRey Gonzales}

While Mitena’s band had finished and Poppy had returned to their sides, Mordechai found himself staying stock still amongst the movement around him. Externally, his face was blank and he was calmly standing with his friends, but internally his thoughts had been swirling from the moment ReyRey first drew his gaze to the balcony, muting most of his surroundings as his heartbeat pulsed louder and louder in his ears. The memories of that night at 13 Carlisle that he had been shoving away while he got sober instead of dealing with swarmed his mind and overloaded his senses. When ReyRey had first held his gun on them, Mordechai had seen a flash of Charlie standing where the kingsnake had stood, gun held on him the same way. That night had reminded him about how after Charlie had beaten him down- when he was staring down the barrel- Charlie had been ready to pull the trigger and take Mordechai out of this world, but Danny’s scared cry had startled the both of them. After that, Charlie had just continued out the door while Mordechai and Rye almost bled out next to Danny’s corpse. That memory having swarmed his mind also had him realizing that Danny had only died because he had drawn Charlie’s attention off of his big brother. Charlie hadn’t planned on killing Danny at all, and if Mordechai had just stayed with him from the start instead of having Rye watch him, then his baby brother would have been here today, Rye wouldn’t have been hit. It was his fault. Danny had taken his place, and Rye had almost followed.

Before it became too much, before he started hyperventilating in public, Mordechai did what he’d been forced to do for the past month and a half and looked for his anchors, his grounding points. He tore his thoughts away from the shooting and ReyRey in order to look beside himself to Poppy, reaching out and taking her hand in his as he tried to change his focus. He thought of all the times that he'd seen her and Jade smile when they were younger, and about how he wished he could see those smiles more nowadays. They probably wished the same thing about him. Taking a few deep breaths as the presence of his friends- both physically and mentally- allowed him to settle down and calm. Mordechai kept them from following the flow of the crowd and asked them to hang back for a minute. He could see ReyRey still in the shadows of the longhouse balcony, leaning over the railing with with his eyes still locked onto the group, so he waited just a couple minutes before gently tugging Poppy just a little further away, just inside the doors of the longhouse, so he could talk to her privately.

“I know we came here for something else,” He prefaced with a nod in the direction that Mitena had gone. He was still on track, he knew their main job here, but he also knew ReyRey, even if it wasn't as well as he'd always thought. “But R2’s here and he’s seen us. He's gonna want answers," Mordechai paused for a moment for a fortifying breath, keeping an eye on anyone that walked by behind his smallest friend's back as he did so. When he was ready, he gave her a small smile, just cocky enough to tell her that he'll be ok. "And honestly Pops, I think I'm 'bout to do one'a those stupid things that I wanted ya ta be around for."

“I understand,” Penelope softly responded. There was no hesitation, no pause, and no holding him back. It was her turn to show him why she wasn’t someone who needed protecting. It was time to show him the Poppy that Charlie loved. The forever loving, forever supportive friend. The rock in their friend group. Everyone’s angel. “You sure you’re ready?” She turned toward him and grabbed both his hands, squeezing them. She didn’t care for her surroundings, what mattered now was her and him. Looking up with her deep green eyes, the kind of green that spoke to the soul, full of nature, full of an overflowing amount of love, full of hope, a reach for tomorrow, her gaze said it all. She knew he was as ready as he’ll ever be but she wanted to hear him say it. She wanted him to commit.

“I- I dunno Pops this kinda feels like one’a those now or never moments,” Mordechai replied, gripping her hands back just as tightly as he took solace in her trust. He couldn’t believe he’d kept her from half of his life for so long. Just telling her his intentions helped solidify it in his mind, and even as he questioned himself, the doubt disappeared under her green gaze, practically glowing in light of Aponi. Fuck, with his Street Angel truly at his back now, he feels more sure than he ever has. He smiled at her, strong and bright in his own way. “No, it is now or never. I’m sure, it needs ta be now, Angel.”

There was no time like the present. They both knew time was fleeting and if he wanted to feel whole again, truly, he needed his family. His whole family. “Then go, but before you leave me,” she took a step forward, releasing his hands. Playfully, she patted down the wrinkles in his black shirt like a mother hen would for her boy going to his first job interview. “Swear to me,” she insisted, bringing her left hand up and brushing his hair to one side with her fingers — tip toes and all. A glimpse of sadness glistened in her eyes as she pictured herself saying this to Charlie. “Swear to me, you won’t forget me.” There was a brief pause before she continued, “And you’ll come back. You’ll always come back.” To her, there was a difference between a promise and a vow. To her, if he vowed, she would know that even on the darkest and coldest of nights, what they had was real and that even if he lost his way, or she lost her’s, they’d always find their way back to each other. They’d always find their way back home.

That look was back in her eyes, the one that told him Charlie had resurfaced in her thoughts, and his heart ached a bit to be the current cause- and focus- of that look. He knew she didn’t expect him to speak as though he were their lost fourth, and that even if she was speaking to Charlie too, these words were for Mordechai. Charlie haunted all their gazes, all their steps, and all their choices since the day he died, just like all the other lost souls these unfortunate survivors always harbored in their hearts and minds. They all talked to ghosts alongside the living. It helped them each to keep living on themselves. He tilted his head towards her fingertips as she brushed his hair aside and kept his eyes locked on hers while he took in what she requested.

Promises broke too easily, it was why he never made them. He couldn’t promise her he’d survive, that his minimal luck in survival as a young Serpent would continue on now. He couldn’t promise a tomorrow, he could only work towards it. But to swear to her he’d always come back? That he’d never forget her? Well, Penelope James was unforgettable. And it may not be how she intended her words to be taken, but even if his body didn’t make it back, he’d join the ghosts pushing at her back for her to keep living, keep being the best of them. Nothing could keep him from coming back home to her, she was one of the only people that still felt like it.

“I swear by all we’ve lost, Street Angel, I never have and never will forget about ya. I swear I won’t leave ya behind or run ahead without ya,” He pulled her into a hug, wrapping his arms around her and settling a hand against the back of her head, keeping her secure in his hold. “I swear that no matter what happens I’ll come back; no matter what shape it’s in, I’ll come back ta ya.”

“Good,” was all she responded back as she rested her head against her friend’s chest, holding him close like he was holding her. She was grateful he returned to Edenridge. She was grateful he was still alive. She was grateful he was starting to see what he had all the time and that was, support and love from all corners of town. Support and love from his chosen family. Support and love from her. Penelope was grateful to call Mordechai her friend.

There was a moment of silence where they just took in each other’s presence. For the past month they found themselves caught in an embrace and lost in the moment more than either were used to. The fact of the matter was they still missed each other and they didn’t want to let go. Too much lost time already to want to let this slip from their fingertips. Poppy found herself distracted by his scent - old leather, smoke, with a sandalwood undertone from his deodorant - and the memories it brought by taking over her senses before she snapped out of the comfort and pulled away, “Okay, okay, we’re so goddamn mushy sometimes.” She playfully shooed her friend away. “Go get ‘em tiger! Make haste. It’s now or neverrrrrr.” She beamed a cheesy, wide smile to the man in front of her, giving him the green light to move forward into battle.

"Yeah, now or never," Mordechai mimicked, smiling at the dramatics. It was true that they were being mushy, that he was already showing ReyRey a bit of weakness when he held her in his arms for that extra moment of her warmth. It was also true that he didn’t care, because Allegra had been right: it’s time to stop trying to protect Poppy by smothering any harsh realities as if she couldn’t handle them. Besides, he was so happy to finally have her silly side directed at him again that he refused to regret any moment of their interaction being in the eyes of the kingsnake. "I'll catch up ta y'all soon."

With those last words and a fortifying breath, Mordechai stuffed his hands into his jean pockets and turned on his heel and made a beeline- not frantic or nervous, kept deliberately casual with the knowledge that he was an outsider here where most of the people might not even remember him as one of Adora’s adopted snakes- towards the stairs to get to ReyRey on the balcony. Before he was even within striking distance of the older man, he locked his calm gaze on him and began with, “I didn’t- we didn’t know ya were gonna be here, we ain’t tryin’a crash in on your downtime.”

For once, he had hoped that he didn’t have to be ReyRey. He wanted to go one night where he could just be Reynaldo and enjoy the company of a beautiful woman, good beer and good music but alas there he was, watching as one of the problematic snakes under his command strolled towards him in a place that he had no godly business being. R2 knew he had to remain calm. This wasn’t his house and he respected the rules of the Reservation. Beyond his dealings with Jadyn, the Kingsnake’s business was private, confidential and behind closed doors. Decky was a piece of business that had made his presence felt in public when he shouldn’t have.

ReyRey thought back to that night at the start of the summer, when he revealed to a bunch of Goonies what really happened the night that a sunflower wilted on Carlisle. His conversation with Mordechai that evening did not end well and their relationship had changed since that day. How fractured it was? Had yet to be fully uncovered. “You didn’t mean to but you did,” Rey began. “I am not working tonight, if this is business, you come see me at the Edge tomorrow night. Otherwise you got about ten seconds to give me a good reason before I break a promise to the people here and I shove my gun down your throat.”

“Then I’ll be seein’ ya at the Edge tomorrow,” Mordechai responded evenly, not reacting to ReyRey’s threats with anything other than calm. He took a moment to glance back at Jade and Poppy, then to the bathrooms where Natalia disappeared and then finally to where the stage was. To where Mitena had been when they’d walked in earlier that evening. Well, he’s already pissed ReyRey off by existing in the same area, and there was no way to make the explanation he had to give the older man any better. Sugar coating doesn’t work on ReyRey. You had to be the messenger and simply take the shot if he didn’t like your delivery. “Did ya know he had a sister? And the fucker doin’ all this letter shit threatened her?”

He tried not to tense up as he waited for the expected punch to the face from his former leader for even daring bring any part of Charlie up in his presence, simply kept a blank gaze on the kingsnake as the other processed his words.

“No I didn’t fucking know and I don’t fucking care.”

Why couldn’t he escape this damn Decker kid?

Why couldn’t he escape Allison?

Why couldn’t he just escape? Rey was haunted. Every time he turned around he was reminded of past transgressions or he was struck by pain of days long best forgotten. “We’ve been over this Boaz. I am not sending these letters and frankly I’m done with the whole thing. I’ve got my own shit I’m dealing with.” There were many shackles currently tying El Serpiente down. The letters and their contents were just one small part. He was feeling pressure from the Angels and the Gorta. Their uneasy truce dancing on a pinhead. The monster that destroyed his darling sister was free and roaming the streets, the damn Monteros were now in town and by all accounts here to stay. ReyRey was no fool and was now waiting for the moment where inevitably Uncle Esteban would try and usurp control of Big Rey’s empire.

Then there was Vivia and what she was going through. Every time he saw her now, Viv seemed more and more like a shell, a husk, barely human. The time was coming where he was going to have to try and get her help. Even though he struggled to say it aloud, R2 did love Viv, in his own way and he knew that she needed something he couldn’t give her.

“What is it you fucking want Boaz?”

"I didn't think it was you sendin' the letters," Mordechai replied, keeping the surprise at how much ReyRey has kept his hands to himself off of his face. He always said he respected Blue Hill and its people, but obviously it was a lot more than Mordechai even thought. God, did he ever really know how to read this guy? Was he just that fucking blind- or just fucked up- as a kid that he idolized ReyRey because of a few simple signs of affection early on, even though the man's violence always outweighed those moments of calm, those moments of what Mordechai had thought were connection. Being a stupid kid was one thing, but what made him feel stupid now at twenty years old was the fact that even with the cold demeanor ReyRey now addressed him with, even with the family that was already surrounding him, Mordechai still felt something in him settling, clicking into place in the same way it had when ReyRey had first embraced him upon his return to Edenridge. The man's presence, tainted as it has been since their last interaction, still felt like a piece of home to him. How broken was he, that even while he's being completely shut out in the cold, he's still trying to find some warmth in ReyReys eyes and body language? "And all I want right now since ya ain't hearin' any business tonight is ta get some closure for myself and my friends. We're here ta meet Hard Times' sis and figure out what ta do next. We really didn't mean to run into ya or get in your way, we came here for our own reasons. Anythin' else I gotta say t'ya probably's gotta wait until tomorrow night, yeah?"

He was challenging the older man a bit, daring him to demand more or end the conversation now. He did his duty, he reported to the kingsnake without even being a subordinate anymore. He gave ReyRey the respect of talking to him even though their journey had nothing to do with him. Anything more out of his mouth would lean towards serpent business and the other man had expressed well enough that it was time to stay mum on that subject. Jesus, even when he's testing the waters he's still waiting for ReyRey's lead.

ReyRey leaned back over the railing, tapping his fingers as he watched Jadyn emerge from the bathroom downstairs. She would be back soon and his two worlds would come crashing together. Exhaling through his nose, the Latino man turned his head and dark gaze towards his former subordinate. “You got two minutes to say what you gotta say, after that I don’t want sight nor sound of you anywhere near me whilst I’m here understand?”

Mordechai nodded and tried not to sigh at the man's change in decision, despite the fact that he was half expecting it anyway. Condense everything he had to say to the man in just two minutes? After the weeks he's been thinking of how to approach him and that very subject? Oh yeah, easy. Fucking simple. This sucked.

"Aight, look," Mordechai started after a breath to try and gather his thoughts, eyes on ReyRey. "You were right when ya said things have changed since I've been gone," he recalled from their initial reunion a month and a half ago. "And sorry I didn't come back the next day like I was supposed ta but I think we both know I would'a gotten killed fast as shit if I'd rejoined in the state I was in. Instead I spent the last month and change gettin' sober with help from Badger, the James', and my-" he choked on his words for a minute, needing R2 to understand but also struggling with what to call Allegra in front of him, let alone whether this was even a good time to mention his kids. If he said the wrong thing and Legs finally meets ReyRey it could all go to shit faster than a meteor hitting the earth, especially between the two's personalities. Best be safe with it then. "-some other family I picked up when I was gone. But I'm not gonna sit here and pretend I ain't missin' my brothers 'n' sisters that I grew up with. And I get that I misread shit with you, my place with you," Mordechai finally averted his eyes, staring off somewhere to the left of ReyRey's feet. He caught himself going to scratch at his forearm and quickly retracted his hand, shoving both fists in his pockets with a scowl and hoping ReyRey wouldn't notice the obvious tell of weakness while also knowing that the man watched too intently to have not seen it. "I can be a useful tool t'ya again, I don't care-" lies "-i just need ta be back."

Rey really didn’t have much time to think. Jadyn would be back and having to explain this entire situation to her seemed like a fruitless endeavour. Decky was a good earner, he had proved his loyalty to the gang ten fold but he had a streak in him and a very obvious weakness that R2 despised. Yet, with everything going on at the minute, all the moving parts and cogs turning in the machine, the Kingsnake knew that in the coming days he was going to need people he could trust and people he could count on. He also knew that having someone he could control and wield like a high powered tool wasn’t a bad idea either. Decky fell somewhere in between all of those categories.

“Ok” ReyRey rubbed his face with his ringed fingers before dropping them back onto the banister. “Here’s what we’ll do. You’re back, probationary but you gotta earn and you gotta earn for me fast” He darted a finger out and pointed it at the boy's heart. “Look at me!” He commanded his follower, immediately receiving the sharp gaze he demanded. “You screw me or I find out you’re back on the gear? I’ll bury you in the ground next to Decker” R2’s eyes fell upon Poppy and Decky’s other assorted family members that had followed him to the quiet little mountain town in which they now stood. “You keep them away from me or they’re next. Am I clear? Now get the fuck outta here. I expect you at the Edge tomorrow night and we’ll find a place for you”

Mordechai clenched his fist against the threat but otherwise remained blank-faced in his reaction to the man’s words, seeing that he had reached the end of ReyRey’s patience and anything else was not just unwelcome, but forbidden. He could tell him about Allegra and the kids tomorrow, when Mitena was fully met and safe. When he was actually truly ready to hear whatever the hell else ReyRey had to say to him. When the man wasn’t threatening him and his friends while staring at them so hard it was like he was trying to burn their faces into his memory before he disposed of them.

“See ya tomorrow,” he replied through clenched teeth, nodding to the man and making his way back down the stairs and towards the bar where he’d left his friends. He took a deep breath and tried to release the tension in his muscles as he came back up to Poppy and Jade, his sisters since childhood. With a small smile that had the ghost of his old confident smirk in it, the man made his announcement to the people that meant the most to him.

"Boa's back bitches!"

Edenridge

^{TIMESTAMP: Flashback, March 2018
FT: Gavriel Shomer & Penelope James}

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There were so many books to choose from; many she had read plenty of times because of Charlie. In the end, Gavriel, her partner in English class, and she decided on The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky. Surprisingly, that wasn’t a book Charlie suggested to her nor was it a book she read until this book report assignment. Both Rye and Poppy let Jane pick their book. It was obvious to them the librarian’s assistant looked at the list and picked a random one. “It’s a good book,” Jane smiled before disappearing into the labyrinth that was Edenridge’s library.

Poppy didn’t know if she believed her or not, getting a feeling Jane didn’t read much, but she was willing to give the book a go. Why not? Once upon a time, her sister would tell her: You never change your life until you step out of your comfort zone. What better way then through reading? Three days had passed where the acquaintances gave themselves a deadline to finish their chosen story, and now here she was back in the library once more waiting for her partner-in-crime. Or well, literature. Partner-in-literature.

Sitting on one of the sofa chairs in the public library, Penelope was re-reading one of the more memorable scenes in the book. The gang were playing truth or dare. Charlie Kelmeckis had been dating Mary Elizabeth for weeks now but when Patrick asks him to kiss the prettiest girl in the room, Charlie kisses Sam. The room goes silent. Charlie had just kissed another girl in front of his girlfriend. 'Oh that’s fucked up,' Patrick auto-responded. The room was in a complete state of shock. Could you blame them? Their friend just made his girlfriend, their friend, feel like shit. Before Sam left the room, she glared at Charlie and hissed, “What is wrong with you?”

Things spiraled a bit after that… as teen coming-of-age dramas usually do. The reason why Poppy found this scene so impactful was because no matter how hard anyone else tried, Charlie would always love Sam. It felt relatable. She felt like Charlie. The Wallflower. Someone whose heart would forever and always be taken by one person, even if that special person would never see her in that way. Not really.

Closing the book, Poppy glanced at her watch wondering if Rye remembered their scheduled homework date. While she waited, she leaned her head back against the sofa and closed her eyes. Her body, heart, and eyes felt heavy. Lately, she wasn’t getting much sleep. From her Charlie, not book Charlie, working himself to the bone to Maxine’s birthday and angelversary being a couple weeks ago, she was going through the motions. Some days she was numb to the pain, other days…

Penelope felt empty, lacking, like there was this absence that could never be filled again. Not many people knew how it felt to lose someone as close as a sibling. Alexandria Davies knew… Jamie O’Hara knew… but Poppy didn’t know them well enough to seek understanding and support. They might understand the despair and overwhelming sadness and how indescribable it all was but that doesn’t change that they were light years apart from someone like her. This meant they weren’t people she could easily reach out to. And maybe, to a degree, they wouldn’t understand her fully. They grew up on the other side of the railroad tracks. It would be silly of her to think a Northie would understand her. Especially Scott Street royalty.

Grief was something she was learning how to deal with day by day and if she attempted to describe it, she would say it felt like a blur. The world kept moving around her, her friends kept moving around her, life kept moving all around her, and she was standing still. From the moment she and her friends went to the car to see a sleeping Max in the parking lot, only to realize she wasn’t sleeping she had no pulse, to the day they said their goodbyes and Max was turned to ash, nothing felt real. Or maybe it felt all too real and it was easier to handle her days as if they blended together.

If she did this, she wouldn’t process how long Max had been gone. If she combined yesterday with today and today with tomorrow, like a dream, then their last moments together wouldn’t replay in her head over and over and over again. Those last moments were on the same day Poppy had met up with her friends — Indie, Owen, and Ely — at this library right here to go over final touches of Max’s surprise party. Their last moments were only a day before Max’s birthday. Their last moments were hours before the town cried: Suicide. Their last moments…

“Poppy? You good?” Rye asked, trying to break her out of whatever reverie the smaller of the two had been stuck in. He couldn’t blame her for it of course, wouldn’t even dream of it. In fact he had walked in already halfway through an apology for his tardiness before he realized she hadn’t even noticed his arrival, his own spaciness in action. The past few months had been rough to say the least, between keeping up with Niles while he healed, keeping up with Danny in the Game, and sorting out this relatively new dynamic between he and his mother and the Phillips family, Gavriel was finding sleep in small doses and passing out in other people’s beds more often than his own.

When he wasn’t passing out in someone else’s bed, dollars to donuts there was someone passed out with him in his own. Two nights ago it had been Charlize Holliston from the junior class, as he’d taken her home once again from a party and they were both too tired to part by the end. Last night it had been a worse for wear Decky Boaz that had passed out on him after the doctor’s son had cleaned him up and given him some pain meds. Why the guy had decided to come up the apartment’s fire escape and knock on his window like it was that scene from the Amazing Spider-Man instead of just buzzing up was a question for when they weren’t both half dead from exhaustion. If it hadn’t been for the alarm Decky had on his burner to return to his Serpent job, Gavriel would have completely slept through his library date with Poppy.

So yeah, if her life was anything like his right now then a bit a spacing out was the least that he could expect from their time together today, and he hoped that she forgave him his faults as easily as he would hers. Realizing he was spacing out exactly as he’d worried about, the curly haired boy blinked his sleep deprived eyes a few times and shook his head, gently placing his thirty ounce thermos on the table in front of her, making sure not to set it on any books on accident as he offered up, “It’s an almond milk caramel mocha with six shots of espresso~,” god bless his mother’s soul for buying a high end personal espresso machine for their house, Rye can make his drinks exactly as he likes them and never needs to go out for his morning fix. “feel free to have some!”

“Oh,” Snapping out of her daze, burying her grief deep, very deep, Penelope perked up and reached for the thermos, “Thank you, I’m sorry…When did you get here?” Blushing in embarrassment from missing his arrival, Poppy glanced away from her homework buddy, took the lid (cup) off and poured her some coffee. She didn’t need Rye worrying about her. She was already causing trouble for her friends who had more important things than dealing with her and her emotions, she didn’t need to bring someone else into her pain. “It’s just, I didn’t hear you and I feel like I would’ve heard you…”

“Probably would have on a good day,” Rye answered honestly, plopping down across from the southie and dropping his backpack off of his shoulder to the floor. “But it’s not looking like one of those. I mean no offense but I walk around like a herd of elephants on wood floor when I’m exhausted,” He and Poppy may not know each other very well yet, but Rye has spent time with all of Decky’s friends and despite the fact that the girl was never around for anything Serpent related, she ranked at the very top of Decky’s list. Were they close enough for him to tell her she looked just as shit as he did right now? No, but he could certainly let her know he’s aware of her state and not judging her at all.

“You wanna start a club? ‘Baggy Eyed Bed Heads’, what do you think? It’s an exclusive one, too! So far it’d be you, me, Niles, and Decky,” He rambled disconnectedly before taking a sip from the thermos she’d pushed back towards him. He tried not to think about how he and Niles had had the bruising under their eyes since December, or how Decky has had them for as long as he’d known the other Jew no matter how much coke or speed was running through the guy’s system. “We could all chill out, bring some pillows and make a fort, watch a movie to forget our problems and pass out for a full twenty four hours, how’s that sound?”

Poppy smiled at his suggestion but it was veiled with gloominess and cynicism. “I’d like that. A lot actually,” she responded, trying to sound hopeful. She knew better though. She knew Decky had a high chance bailing because work demanded his time, just like it demanded Charlie’s time. This wasn’t like Max’s angelversary, a date set in stone that all those that loved her would try to be there for her. No, this was just a hangout, with no importance besides spending time with friends. Hard to make time when you are too busy surviving.

“I don’t really know Niles, like at all… would he even like someone like me?” She tried to change the direction of the topic, really not wanting to disappoint Rye in saying that his idea would be for nought. It was a waste of energy getting your hopes up over something that was never guaranteed. Her friends, as much as she loved them, were unreliable. She learned the hard way when Charlie didn’t see her after the game, the same night Allison died. She learned the hard way that it was better to go in with no expectations, then to hope, pray, or make a wish that something good was going to happen. It never did happen. Not really. She learned the hard way that nobody needed her. The invisible girl. Penelope James. All those that said they did were lying to her face because time and time again, they left her behind. They always left her behind. Nobody needed her. No one ever does.

“Well frankly my dear, if he doesn’t, I don’t give a damn,” Rye joked to her before rolling his eyes with a sad smile. “Niles is Niles, he doesn’t really like anyone. Hell, pretty much our entire first year hanging out was either sitting in his room or in the on-call room at the hospital and just reading in silence. I feel like he’d definitely get along with you and the other southies, unlike Danny who absolutely could not vibe. But yeah, Niles, I doubt he’d actually do something like that, even for me. He keeps his cuddly side on the downlow. But hey,” Rye propped his chin up in his hand as he fiddled with the loose bits of paper caught between the metal spiral of his notebook. “It would be nice, yeah? Sometimes nice thoughts are as far as I’m able to get.”

“Yeah,” Poppy steadily nodded in agreement. “It is a nice thought and I get that, knowing people that wear a mask to protect themselves but really, they’re the coolest people you’ll ever know… I get that.” Oddly anxious, Poppy brushed her hair behind her ear and grabbed their chosen book from the table, thanks to Jane. “So Perks! They made a movie for this, do you think we should watch the movie to compare and contrast it with the book? What did you like?”

“Oh we should absolutely watch the movie. Logan Lerman’s eyes? Emma Watson’s everything,” He leaned back from his hunched position and pretended to swoon before adding, “I literally put it on my watchlist last night after I finished reading, you can come over to my place and we can watch it,” the boy took another gulp from his thermos before fiddling with the front of his paperback. “I kind of liked how out of sync Charlie was with everyone, even when he was in the moment having fun. Some people just can’t help being disconnected or too grounded, the need to pull back from the crowd and observe isn’t strictly ruled by anxiety, you know?”

While he wasn’t much like Charlie if you asked any of the people that ’know him’ from all the parties he attends, the mentality of the boy in the book managed to strike a few cords in Gavriel that the young boy would have preferred be left unstruck. He was well aware that he made himself the center of attention while also having no emotional investment in basically any interactions that occur at a party, much more afraid of becoming the center of attention through something he had no control over. He liked that he was finally able to read a book with a mindset he could connect with, but it also had him looking at his own mental state and wondering where his own masks ended.

“Mostly, it just made me sad because all of the shit that went down in the book is viable to happen in real life, especially in places like Edenridge where drama and despair seem to keep every street corner company.”

She agreed completely with Rye’s sentiment on Charlie. Book Charlie. Not her Charlie. The main protagonist was extremely thoughtful which put him in both good and bad places. She could relate to the narrator because it was like everything moved around him in slow motion. When Rye related the book to Edenridge, Poppy rewarded that comment with a frown. There were several hints in the book of Charlie’s trauma and then at the end, after Charlie learns to be a wallflower but not a doormat, he embraces life rather than use it as a coping mechanism of letting things wash by him. He lives, he discovers, he pushes onward, becoming one of the people he’s so used to watching. He becomes a character in the story.

“Like rape,” she whispered as Rye nodded solemnly, grabbing her cup of coffee and gingerly drinking it, as she thought about Mordechai. Her best friend. “Or the fact that no matter how hard he tried to move on, Charlie couldn’t. Charlie’s heart belonged to Sam.” Her Charlie’s smile appeared in her mind… god, she fucking hated herself sometimes. “It would always belong to Sam. But as the book says, from Mr. Anderson to Charlie himself, we accept the love we think we deserve. We always do that because most of us, well… we believe we fucking suck and life is just shit, after shit, after shit, only making us realize we were right along. We do suck.” Poppy’s eyes widened when she realized she said too much. She immediately reverted back into her shell. “Sorry… sorry I was having a moment.”

“Please, moment away,” He offered in response, waving her worries off as he stared at her, a small sad quirk of his lips being all his face gave away of his feelings on the matter. He had a feeling Poppy had the same person in mind with the first part of her comment as he did. Decky held himself well, but especially in the bedroom- both safer and more vulnerable in the dark- there were quite a few triggers that Rye has learned to avoid, or work with Decky to nullify even a little bit if they could. The other boy hasn’t said anything outright to Rye, but it wasn’t like this was his first experience with victims of childhood sexual assault either. Cleveland was no Edenridge, but one of things that was comparable between the two places he’s lived is that the crime is fucking ridiculous and domestic assaults happen like crazy, and Rye’s childhood best friend walked around every day with the same look in his eyes as Decky does. They always flinched the same way too.

“Your commentary on the human disposition should be part of the report. Well, maybe a little more well worded for Mr. Beau’s sake, but it’s not necessarily wrong,” he ran the pad of his thumb up the side of his book, watching the pages separate and come back together as they shuffled off his finger. “’We accept the love we think we deserve’ doesn’t just mean being with someone you don’t actually like, or not being able to be with the one you do; it’s about sabotaging any of those chances to get the real love, like you said, or about letting your sense of self disappear for the sake of those around you. If you’re like…permanently changing yourself for someone, your personality or your looks or your speech pattern, whatever it is, you’re accepting the love that you thought the original you deserved. But that’s not you anymore, is it? It’s stale love, expired with the last persona you put up or shed,” And yeah, he knew he was calling himself out for the way he’s acted since arriving in Edenridge: The life of the party, the class clown, all the stupid things he does with Danny on a damn near daily basis- none of that was the Gavriel Shomer of Cleveland. That anxiety ridden wreck has been locked in the closet ever since he himself came out of it and lost his dad to his homophobia. But Poppy doesn’t know any of that, to her this is just an in depth look into the book and its meanings for the sake of this book report. “So in all honesty, most people don’t even accept the love they think they deserve, they except the love that they thought they deserved. You pickin’ up what I’m puttin’ down?”

“Sorta, I don’t know. Your wording is tripping me up, honestly,” Penelope chuckled, her mood while still somber was shifting ever so slightly from this intellectual conversation. “So we’re stuck on our past self, rather than evaluating our now and thinking, hey. This is where I am and I should consider who loves the present me. Like… instead of clinging to your childhood and not being able to let it go because those were simpler times, those were times you found it easier to love yourself, you should learn to love the person you’re becoming?” Love was complicated and it all returned to one obvious thing: we needed to learn to love ourselves before we could love anyone else. Subconsciously, Penelope grabbed onto her teardrop necklace, deep in thought. She was stuck on the concept of love and how her peers went about it. Has Rye ever been in love? Were they too young to believe in love like that?

Rye snapped his fingers and pointed at Poppy. “Exactly!” He began, “People are always changing, so unless you believe that no part of you will ever be lovable and you just have to go through your life accepting what attention people pity you enough to give, there’s no way to really know what love we deserve. It just has to feel right for whatever stage of your life you’re currently in, because the second you start making your way to a new stage, the second you start developing beyond what you- at the time- consider your true self, your view on what you deserve is gonna change,” Rye leaned forward in his seat as he got talking, already feeling a bit bad that Poppy was getting the full-on ramble part of him that he usually kept at bay in social situations. “That’s people’s main problem: they don’t adjust with each stage of life, so their love and their concept of how they deserve it, it… well it’s like never getting new clothes or shoes as you grow up. A grown adult in kids clothes doesn’t work, everything would be stressed, threadbare, and ripped. That doesn’t work and neither does a growing person with a static concept of love.”

“It’s hard to adjust,” Penelope countered, crossing her arms while doing so, “When life takes away things that keep you whole.” Her mind was back on her grief. It’s only been a year since Maxine ‘committed sucide’. She felt like love was far out of reach when she was too busy learning her rewired brain and what she needed to do to create a new normal. A new normal without her sister. “We change because we have to, not because we want to. Adjusting is easier said than done. There’s far too much pain in this world to be able to say, okay, those are my new shoes, goodbye old shoes. Throwing away those old shoes is like throwing away a piece of you. It hurts, like a bitch.”

“I never said you had to throw them away,” Rye volleyed back with no heat in his tone. “Shit man, my ma’s got my baby shoes in storage. Holding on to things you’ve outgrown is fine,” he assured, looking around the library so he had another moment to gather his thoughts before continuing. “Sometimes things just don’t fit anymore through no fault of anyone, and all you do when you keep trying to put them on again is stretch and tear them more until there isn’t anything to hold on to. I mean, what would you rather have? A slowly fading feeling that you can carry with you until you’re ready to let go, or a tattered memory you can’t even seem to remember clearly? It’s the same thing with love, because if you perseverate on the what-could-have-beens you don’t leave any time for the what-can-still-be’s.”

As Rye explained to her his point of view, Poppy grabbed her pen and started fidgeting with it, eventually she was tapping it against her notebook, mildly irritated. It wasn’t his fault what he was saying made her feel like he was telling her how to live her life, when she didn’t even know if he lived. She didn’t know Rye like that. He was a brilliant boy, she’d give him that, but fuck this was annoying. It wasn’t even the fact that it sounded like he knew better than her that was getting to her. What was pissing her off was the more he talked, the more she questioned her friendships. Was she, Charlie, Decky, and Jade outgrowing each other? We’re they all going to stop being friends because the past was the past and was better left on a shelf or locked in a closet? Out of sight, out of mind? “What makes you such an expert in love? If you don’t mind me asking.” she retorted, trying her best to bury her feelings.

She didn’t even know if Rye lost anyone like she did. Was he so in his own world that he didn’t realize it was insensitive to act like she could take in his advice and just be okay with herself and her life? To be okay with the constant changes presented to her, like finding her sister dead in a car after going to a literature convention with her friends? Was he so insensitive to notice that everything he was saying, and so dismissively too, was awful things to say to someone deep in grief? It was like he was telling her to get over Max, and her friends growing up, and just move onto the next day. Unbothered and loving herself. Keep her love for them but be okay that Max was gone, having left this Earth without her, and her friends were growing the fuck up also leaving her behind.

What the fuck was this shit.

Oh wait, that’s right. Allison’s death overshadowed Maxine’s. Rye might not even know that Maxine James was her sister. But he should’ve, right? He spent so much time with Decky…

Jeez, she was really getting in her head now.

“I get what you’re saying but some people just aren’t ready to let go, and that’s okay too.”

Rye tilted his head as he stared at the slight downturn of Poppy’s moving lips, eyes narrowing as he realized he missed something in her tone during the conversation. He really wished he was better at discerning that sort of thing, but between the fluorescent buzzing of the library lights and his own ringing in his ears, he was relying heavily on lipreading while he kept his music a bit louder in his earbuds to block out the noise. But he’d done something wrong, he could feel it deeper than the shallow worry his anxiety was giving him. Somewhere- maybe when he’d compared the book to Edenridge?- this conversation stopped being about the book report. JP had just been teasing him the other day about his ability to miss as many cues in a conversation as a stormtrooper misses Jedis, so maybe he should have taken the hint and paid a bit more attention.

“Ok, ok,” the boy fretted, raising his hands in a sign of peace before reaching up to his ears and pulling the buds out, his eye twitching as he tilted his head against the buzz-ringing that filtered back into his ears. Cracking his neck to relieve a bit of his sudden tension, Gavriel put his earbuds down on the table and folded his twitching fingers together in front of him. “My hearing’s been fucked recently, I’m working on two hours of sleep in like forty hours and I haven’t really talked to anyone about philosophical shit since the last time I hung out with JP, and he knows how I talk,” he clenched his jaw and sent another glance around the library, this time out of anxiety more than an actual need to stall for time. “But I think I pissed you off? Like, I don’t know what I said—”

“Okay, shit. Fuck. Breathe, Rye,” Penelope dropped her pen and also raised her hands in surrender as a sign of peace. Was this what Mordechai was talking about? She heard him talking in passing about how Rye got but she never experienced it before. Not like this. “Bring it back, my turn,” his mouth snapped shut when she looked at him in a way that said zip it before explaining her trigger, “Two weeks ago was the first time in a long time I was able to spend time with all my friends, you know who I’m talking about. They made time for me not because they wanted to spend time with me but because it was a year since my sister died.”

She felt her own anxiety building up as she allowed herself to be vulnerable to a boy that was her partner in English class. Not a best friend. Not even a friend. Just a boy she had to do a book report with. “This really has nothing to do with you. I just am in no place to be okay with what’s going on right now. Night after night I’m left alone thinking Mordechai, or Charlie, or fuck, Jade might follow suit. They might die. They’re already drifting away from me and I have no control over that. And maybe I’m just a little fucked up in the head since I can’t seem to ever think straight. The one person that was always fucking there for me, even when she wanted to strangle me, was my sister. And she’s dead. She’s fucking dead. So I’m sorry for reading too deeply into your words I just can’t fucking accept that the people I love no longer want me in their life like the way things used to be.” At this point, Penelope was hugging herself and heavily breathing. Fuck why did she have to go and say all that shit? “I should go. This, we’ll just try again another day.” Standing up, Poppy quickly began gathering her things.

“Wait, shit- Poppy no,” Rye stood up too, staying on his side of the table so they both still had their space, unsure of how to go about comforting a girl he only knows through stories from a mutual friend. “I’m sorry, I know you said it doesn’t have to do with me but- just, I’m sorry I did what I always do and kept talking until there was a problem. I should’ve had my headphones out, I should have been looking at your whole face and not just reading your lips. If I’d have been paying attention, really paying attention, I never would’ve kept going,” He threw his hand up to scratch nervously at the back of his head bringing his anxious gaze back to her only to see that the girl had frozen in place while he rambled once more. As he watched, tears fell from her eyes and hit the open page of her notebook on the table, soaking into the blank paper. They never had written any of this down for the report.

“See, I’m doing it right now,” He pointed out, his shaky tone attempting at a bit of levity and falling flat. What was he supposed to do? He certainly couldn’t calm her down the way he calmed people he was closer to, and he honestly didn’t have much practice with comforting people he barely knew, especially when he was the one to trigger them in the first place.

‘Hug her, you idiot,’ the voice inside his head that has been sounding like JP more and more every day spoke up. ‘I hug you when you need support.’

“Um, d-do you want a hug?” Rye asked awkwardly, going to open his arms before stopping himself, dropping them back to his sides until he got a response. Some people didn’t like to be touched when they were crying, he doesn’t know if she wants him as close as he is to her now across the table, let alone in her personal bubble. As the sleeves of his jacket fell over his fingers, he realized he had taken Decky’s jean jacket off his floor this morning, meaning the serpent had Rye’s old hand-me-down from his father. He’d have to get this back to the other boy, and when he did that it would be a perfect chance to ask him what the hell is going on with Poppy, someone the serpent talks about all the time but apparently has barely seen lately.

Penelope didn’t really register what Rye was saying because at this point, she had hit a massive low and was choking on her tears and wiping her face, embarrassed, “I-I’m sorry,” she weakly responded. “I don’t m-mean to be a burden. I-I just want them to know I really l-love them. I love… love them more than I love m-myself. I’m s-sorry.” This is why she was supposed to take her antidepressants. To prevent this. A public breakdown. She forgot to tell her mother she needed a refill and now she was crying in front of someone who didn’t deserve this grief. “I’m so sorry…” She really was a burden and this is why when all was said and done, she’d be alone. She’d always be alone. No one wanted to carry her. Not even Charlie.

“Hey, no you’re not a burden. I should know, I’m the king of being a burden on others,” He joked, edging away from the table so she could access him if she so chose. “Decky literally talks about you all the time, I don’t think there’s been a time I’ve seen him when you didn’t come up. He always looks so stupidly happy when he talks about you and the others, even when he’s literally passing out on the spot, I don’t know if that helps, but he’s definitely not forgetting about you, not by a longshot. And I’m sorry I can’t tell you about the others since I don’t know them well, but,” He shifted on his feet and tried to keep his breathing steady as the anxiety kept his heartbeat vibrating. But this he could do, being honest he could do. “You don’t ever have to tell me you’re sorry for having feelings or insecurities,” He assured before explaining, “I was trying to offer you a hug because you look like you really need it, but I don’t know how much you like contact outside of Decky and the others.”

“... I’d like a hug please.” Poppy breathed, unable to breach the distance between her and the other boy. She didn’t know if she was a hugger or not, she knew at least with her friends, she needed to be reminded they still cared, whether it be through word of mouth or them holding her hand… but with Rye he was all she had right now and she desperately needed someone to hold her before the weight of the world became too heavy and she couldn’t hold herself up anymore. “... Please.”

“Yeah, of course, I’m told I give exceptional hugs,” Rye conversed as he stepped forward. “Though it’ll be weird being the tall one in the situation for once,” He wrapped one arm around her shoulder and cupped the back of her head with his other hand before pulling her close, guiding her head onto his shoulder before wrapping both arms fully around her and holding her tight, thinking of how JP and Decky and Danny and everyone that has guided him out of bad attacks held him against them. And like his mom, he gently rocked them side to side in their place, keeping the girl secure and physically stable in his arms in an attempt to get her mentally closer to stable as well. “Is this helping,” He asked quietly after a small moment for his own heart rate to finally slow as the hug helped him through some of his own anxieties. “At all?”

“Mhm,” she replied, wrapping her own arms around him and tightening her grip, almost desperately. This was strange mostly because if she looked up, she’d be inches away from Rye’s face, unlike any of her other friends. She had tall friends. Especially Charlie. Her standing next to Charlie was quite funny since he was the tallest person in their class and she was one of their shortest. Inhaling in and exhaling out, her eyes closed, she smiled, “You smell like Decky…” to some people, the smell of smoke, leather, and sandalwood would not be a pleasant smell, but to Poppy that smell reminded her of home.

“Yeah this is his jacket, I had to patch the dumbass up last night, he got in another fight,” Rye said with a quiet laugh. “He’s fine though, woke up and got around on his own.”

“This book must be a real good book,” Anya leaned up against an archway that led to a hallway, which led to another area of the library. She munched on granola, her sharp eyes observing the emotional duo that was making more noise than they probably realized. “You going to make library lady come out of the hole and be like why you cry? Why the noise? Why a book lead to this?” Anya grinned a toothy grin glancing at Perks of Being a Wallflower, “I glad you liked. You be okay. No more tears. No more tears. Book says this moment, we infinite. Remember that most.” She didn’t read the book, Faye actually read it to her but they didn’t need to know that.

“Thank you, Jane, we were just about to leave,” Poppy pulled her head back and made a face, “You’re all wet because of me.” She looked at his shirt and the soaked spots she made. She’d cried way too much.

“That’s fine,” Rye sniffled in reply once he’d finished laughing at Jane’s interpretation of this scene and the book. Ugh, crying people always made him teary, and all of this was super depressing. “It’s karma for all the people I’ve cried on. But hey, it doesn’t have to be Perks of Being a Wallflower, but do you wanna come over to my apartment and watch a movie? I’ve got some Disney movies that I got from Niles’ little sister for my birthday. Or I think my ma got Netflix last week so there’s probably some good stand up or other comedy…”

“Perks is fine!” Poppy chirped, feeling the overwhelming sensation she had once felt a moment ago gradually taking its exit. “Lets worry about movies when we get to your place. Plus! I can use this opportunity to finally get to know you, seeing how… we hang but we don’t really hang. I mean I feel like we’ve already learned so much already.” Although her eyes were still watery, she was beaming. The release of emotion was exactly what she needed seeing how she hadn’t even cried on her sister’s death day. It was also nice to tell someone all the things she was bottling up. Poppy wasn’t good at holding things in. Look where it got her? Literally falling apart in front of someone unaware of anything that’s going on with her. “Thank you, Rye. For not pushing me away.”

Crunch, crunch, crunch.

Rye’s eye twitched a bit as he smiled at Poppy through the noise of Jane’s granola now added in. “Of course, Poppy,” He answered before he began to turn in order to gather his things up from the table. It was then that he realized his earbuds has fallen to the ground, dragged by the cord after the phone in his pocket when he stood up. Winding them back up and into his hands, he lifted them up to Poppy’s view and asked, “Do you mind, for the walk? I’ll keep them low so I can hear you, I just can’t really do without them much longer.”

“Do what you need to do, Rye, and, to be honest, I had no idea how bad you were seeing how, well, this is the most we’ve ever talked. Ever. I’ll be more conscious moving forward.” Poppy gave Rye a thumbs up and proceeded to turn to the crunching noise where Jane was watching them with her intense gaze. Were her eyes always this striking? They reminded her of snake eyes. Leaving Rye’s embrace, Penelope finished packing her bag before swinging it over her shoulder, “Let’s go homeboy, oh and one last thing,” Poppy gently nudged the boy’s arm in a faux punch. “Next time we talk about philosophy let's avoid the topic of love. I barely understand it so I have no right to talk about it. Capeesh?”

“Well shit, if that’s the benchmark I should’ve kept my mouth shut from the beginning. I don’t stick around anyone long enough for love,” Rye replied while mockingly rubbing at his arm where she’d punched it. “You’ve got yourself a deal.”

His response was rewarded with a chuckle and lighthearted simper.

Maybe they could be friends after all. Sure, they had a bumpy first half, but now she was heading to his place to watch a movie.

PROGRESS!

Edenridge

_{TIMESTAMP: Sometime after six}

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Walking all the way from Eastbrook to Westwood in the middle of a torrential downpour was not how Gavriel thought he would be spending his evening. The strong winds buffeting his soaked clothes left him bone-achingly chilled before he’d even left his own neighborhood, and the barometric pressure had his ears ringing off the chart, but he remained teary eyed and red faced with emotion as he kept his hands shoved deep into his pockets and did his best to ignore the gnawing pain in his shoulder.

JP had moved. Gone, out of their family household and across town without a single word to Gavriel beforehand. And they’d talked, they’d have a video call once a week at the least, so it wasn’t like the older man didn’t have a chance to tell him! All he could think about was waking up this morning with JP gone, missing his chance to see him on his way to see Niles, and then missing him again while he and Niles had been home having early dinner with those in his family that were home. Niles had left before the storm got too bad to try and ride through, and the conversation had still been light hearted at the time, but once the storm began to pick up Gavriel had expressed worry over JP’s drive home.

Only for Momma Robbie to reveal that he was most likely ’at his own place by now’, sending a jolt of panic through her step-son’s chest. He’d let his questions fall from fumbling lips and listened distantly as Robyn explained that JP had gotten an apartment in Westwood and had been planning on moving in for a while. Eventually her words became white noise as his heart rate picked up and the ringing in his ears rose along with his blood pressure. He stomped his way out the house, only just remembering to grab a jacket as his tunnel vision led him down their stoop and on the most direct route to his step-brother, the constant thought of he left me, he left me, he left me, echoing on repeat under the roaring of both the storm and his ears.

All of which brought him to here, turning the corner past Uncle Eddie’s house and making his way down Pleasant Street to get to the Pleasantview Apartments where JP now resided. He couldn’t stop wondering if he had been the final push, the reason JP felt he needed to leave and have his own space. They’d shared damn near everything since the day they first kissed in an alcove at Gardenview, and Gavriel had definitely had times when he worried he was being too invasive or clingy, but every time he brought it up with JP the other man calmed his nerves and reminded him that it was his anxiety whispering lies into his ear. Now he wasn’t so sure, and he just wanted to know why JP hadn’t told him anything, and what the final straw was that made him leave.

Pressing the buzzer for the unit number Robyn had given him, the still red faced Gavriel stood as still as a statue and kept his bloodshot eyes staring blankly at the intercom box.

Jericho wasn’t the strongest at processing his emotions, he was even worse at communicating them. Today after he left his mothers’ house, without waking Rye, he made sure to drown himself in work. He needed to keep himself busy. He didn’t know what made today different out of the rest of the week but he found himself needing to distance himself from the one person that meant the world to him.

His mom told him he stretched himself too thin, trying to support a town that would eat him alive. JP knew he was a fixer, a lover, and a fighter. He loved to fix people yet not fix himself. Every scar but his own. He made sure the lonely and the broke could find a home in him. He loved unconditionally no matter what walk of life the person chose. And last but not least, he fought every single day to be a positive light in this town. He fought so hard even while he was a heartbreak away from going into a horrible, dark place. All he had to do was let someone down and he’d likely succumb to the thoughts he battled every single night. Thoughts he never really disclosed to anyone. Thoughts that made him hate himself.

This wasn’t the time to show weakness. This wasn’t the time to admit he couldn’t fix everything, especially himself. This wasn’t the time to struggle by carrying so much weight on his shoulders. This wasn’t the time to be unhappy. He would bury himself in bandages before saying he needed someone to lean on. That’s just how JP was. That’s how he’s always been.

After taking a hot shower, since he did get caught in the rain, JP was quick to put on muted blue boxers, black sports shorts, and a worn out t-shirt with the Gallows logo on it. With a towel on his head, he opened his fridge and grabbed a beer can. He pulled the tab off with his pointer finger and proceeded to take a long, much needed sip. His eyes were dull and tired, a visible tale of his never ending struggle with insomnia. He himself was on auto-pilot, simply walking around like he was in a dream. When he heard the buzzer, he yawned, not knowing who would visit him this late. Before he answered the call, he took another swig, this time a leisure gulp (this was his sixth beer -- he had already downed five cans before his shower). Belching, he pressed the red button and answered, “Yeah?”

"Jericho," Gavriel spoke back, voice shaking with poorly contained emotion. His thoughts on what he would do upon getting here and his actual actions were different, as per usual. Just more of him stressing to plan for every scenario while simultaneously feeling there's nothing he can contribute to any of them to make them better. He can see why JP needed space from him, he just didn't understand the complete omission of this large step in his life. Has he been walking on eggshells with Gavriel since he returned home and the curly haired man hadn't noticed? Has Gavriel been too wrapped up in himself and his friends that he'd made JP feel ignored, or was he being too clingy and this was just going to make things worse? He was always so good at making things worse. "We need to talk, please."

There was no verbal response. Instead there was a loud buzzing noise which signaled the apartment entrance was unlocked. Back in the apartment, JP shuffled to his door, cracked it open, and made his way to one of two pieces of furniture he had in the living room. The couch. The other piece being his record player, not on a table yet, surrounded by boxes filled with music. He still needed to buy more furniture and decor but he was hoping Rye would help him with that. He was never really good at this whole interior design thing and making a room look nice. He wasn’t much of a stylist either. The only thing he was good at was making a captivating song. Beyond that? JP was mediocre, at best. With the towel still on his head, he fell back into the couch and rested his head by leaning it on the back of it. His eyes were covered by the towel and the can of beer was in his grasp, resting on his right leg. He waited.

Gavriel wiped his runny nose with the arm of his soaked jacket and yanked the door open, trudging inside with a shiver caused by both the storm inside him and the one raging outside. The fluorescent lights wreaked havoc on his tinnitus and by the time he got to JP's cracked door he was just a bit disoriented and quite a bit more miserable. He pushed inside but stopped right on the other side of the door after closing it, arms crossed in a clear sign of agitation but also in hopes to conserve a bit of his body heat. He stared over at his lover on the couch and focused on the visible part of his face: his lips. He didn't seem particularly upset or irritated with Gavriel's presence, no downturn of the muscles around his lips or even a pout. Just relaxed, slackened lips taking air in and out at an even pace while a can of beer sat in his hand.

"I don't get it," he started defensively, even more stressed out at the fact that JP didn't seem to be feeling anything much at the moment. "Did you leave without waking me to avoid telling me you were moving or because you thought I wouldn't care?"

“Neither,” JP cooly answered, sitting up and pulling the towel off his head. Glancing over to the soaked boy at his door, Jericho sighed at the sight. His emotions were unreadable even when he carried himself in a welcoming fashion. A light smile and a charming glance. Once he was standing, he made his way to his lover, sipping his beer as he walked, and dropped the towel on Rye’s head. In good ol’ Jericho fashion, he didn’t give an explanation. What he did do was ruffle the towel against Rye’s hair, drying as many strands as he could. “You’re soaked,” he stated, before downing the rest of his beer and tossing the can into the kitchen sink. He’d deal with the can later. With both hands freed up, he placed them on the towel and tousled Rye’s hair, drying as much as he could, “I can get a bath ready if you want.”

"What-stop JP, no!" Gavriel argued, fighting his instincts to lean into his lover's touch and pulling away while pushing the towel-and JP's hands- off his head. His eyes went to the can in the sink before cutting back to JP. "How many of those have you had, it's all over your breath," he scrunched his nose up and pulled the towel over his shivering shoulders before getting back on track. "You leaving? Not saying anything? I wanna talk about that, about why you didn't want to tell me," He glared at the faded logo of JP's shirt and kept a foot of space between them. "Was it me? Did I wake you up too many nights with my nightmares, or- or overstep with how many times I slept in your room? It's like everyone knew except me, so where's the joke, Jericho? I'm tired of missing the punchlines."

“Jesus fucking Christ,” Jericho exasperatedly muttered before stepping back, making the distance in between them more apparent. Closing his eyes, he placed his hands on the back of his neck and unenthusiastically responded, answering his questions one by one: “Six. It takes 12 for me to get drunk. No it wasn’t you. No you’re not the reason why I can’t sleep. No, if you overstepped I would’ve told you. You know I would’ve. And, dude, there was no joke. There was no punchline.” Suddenly annoyed, JP turned on his heel to get himself another beer, “Make yourself at home. I can’t believe you went out in this storm just because you thought I forgot about you.” Before he knew it, he was already at his fridge with another beer in hand. In a matter of seconds, the tab was off and he was downing his seventh, more motivated than ever to not be sober. This was ridiculous.

"Then why didn't you tell me," Gavriel persisted, dropping the beer debate with the trust that JP can take care of himself in that area. Not like he'd be going out any time soon anyways. "This is kind of a big thing? Like yeah it's not like you're moving out of town but I thought I'd at least get a little heads up about what you were thinking of doing."

The next empty can dropped into the sink and JP was staring at his boyfriend, his demeanor cold. Unfortunately since he hadn’t slept much the past few days, he was going almost three days with at least an hour of sleep, he was coming off more harshly than he intended to, “So you don’t trust me, great.” Yeah they weren’t going to do this right now. Not while he was getting more and more pissed by the minute. “I’m going to lay down, you’re going to take a fucking shower. I’ll have clothes ready for you in the bedroom. Before you even go inside, I want you to open that drawer right there,” he pointed to the silverware drawer, near the fridge. He wasn’t even going to point out the vase by the bananas that held Rye’s favorite flower. A single flower. “When you’ve done all that, then we can fucking talk and it better be in a way where you aren’t accusing me of whatever the fuck your mind is thinking of right now.” Opening his fridge again, he grabbed another beer, slammed the door shut, and strode away, not turning back to see what expression Rye was wearing. Jericho was livid.

"I didn't say I didn't trust you!" Gavriel desperately called after JP, but it fell on deaf ears as the door shut, leaving him huffing in frustration and dissatisfaction at still not having a straight answer. Of course he trusted JP, that was never a concern of his. JP was one of the best people in the world and Gavriel always believed and trusted in him. Something about all of this just felt so wrong and Gavriel felt that he himself was the root of the issue, not Jericho. Taking a moment to wipe away the tears leaving hot tracks down his cheeks, Gavriel took deep shuddering breaths and crossed his arms so that he was holding himself together. When he felt more centered, he sniffed harshly and moved towards the drawer JP had pointed out before his retreat. Inside was a small black box with a soft lavender ribbon tied around it, and Gavriel's face went red with shame as he pulled the ribbon loose and lifted the lid to reveal a shiny key with JP's apartment number engraved on it. He leaned against the counter to stare at it and once more his favorite color caught his eye. Sitting there in a wide ceramic vase with pebbles decorating the dirt top was a Hyacinth, his favorite flower, with a note tied around its stem. Tears continued to fall from his eyes as he turned the note around and read the single word in JP's handwriting on the other side.

Yours.

He thought of when JP picked him up from the airport, and they'd called each other Mine. He thought of all the times JP had whispered that possessive term in his ear in the dark, in the heat of passion, even during the times he and Rye were sleeping around with others. He'd never said 'I'm yours' in those exact words before, and here he had been trying to do it while Gavriel bitched about not being told of his moving. God, what a piece of work he was.

Another shiver racking his body had him making his way to the bathroom and turning on the showerhead. The shower he took was brief with most of the time spent letting the stream pound into his shoulder and relax some of the tension and aches. He wallowed in his shame and thought about how wired he’d been since that first day he returned home from helping his savta and found out about everything that had happened. It was making him more irrational than he was on a normal basis and it was risking putting strain on the few relationships he still had. It worked with Niles because he needs someone to get through his thick skull before he can see their softer sides, and that meant he needed an aggressive start. But Danny wasn’t like that, he needed his soft friend, Rye the jokester full of dry reads and sarcasm and willing to pretend for years that he didn’t know the dude was bi. And JP was like neither of them, only having ever wanted Gavriel to be his completely natural and neurotic self. Unfortunately, that included moments like these where the anxieties swarming his head cloud his rational thought, making him feel like a burden that everyone around him only puts up with, making him scared and angry and full of empty confrontation.

When he stepped out of the shower he grabbed the same damp towel and scrunched the water out of his hair before wrapping it around his waist, not bothering to wipe the fog off the mirror and look stupidity in the face. He shuffled bashfully to the closed door of JP's room, knocking lightly before slowly opening the door and casting a glance around the room. As if to add to his shame, there were light purple sticky notes around the room that showed his lover's constant thoughtfulness towards him. The wall next to the left side of JP's bed has a sticky note saying Sprinkles' nightstand? and another on the wall space next to the window that said Sprinkles' bookshelf? and at a glance there were at least three more sticky notes with reference to his presence in the room. He suddenly realized that the key wasn’t just for when he visited JP, it was something more.

"I'm sorry," he whispered from the doorway, looking down at his shuffling feet as he held the towel in place. "I was acting like such an asshole an-"

“Come here,” Jericho leaned against his bed frame, waiting for his lover to join him. He had a pillow supporting his back and had his reading glasses on, having spent the time waiting writing phrases that he wanted to work in his current song he was writing. He was too exhausted to actually pick up his guitar.

Closing his composition journal, with the pen inside of it, he leaned to the side to drop it on the floor (he didn’t have a side table yet, since it would need to match Rye’s). “Your clothes are there,” He pointed at the end of his bed. “Or you can come as is, that’s fine too,” he jokingly suggested. Regardless of how Rye would come to him, and what he was wearing, he knew Rye would come. He always did.

Despite knowing the offer to be a joke, Gavriel did little more than pull a pair of boxers on before collapsing into JP and stuffing his face into his chest with a shaky exhale. He wrapped his arms around his lover and held him tight, afraid of losing him while also fearing that clinging too tightly would push him away. Enveloped in Jericho’s warm embrace, he mumbled, “I didn’t see it, I’m sorry,” without moving his face away, hiding the shame he still felt in Jericho’s collar. “But please JP, why didn’t you say anything?”

“I suck at communicating and romantic gestures it seems. I knew the family would’ve thought I’d told you so they wouldn’t have brought it up. That bought me some time to attempt to be I don’t know, cute? Sweet? Lovey? Not enough apparently,” JP explained, locking those brown eyes that were hues of solid oak and polished amber with Gavriel’s soulful, deep gaze when the smaller man finally looked up. While Rye’s gaze brought warmth, like drinking hot chocolate by a hearth, his gaze reminded you of the Earth, keeping whoever that stared into them to the soil. A gaze that grounded.

“With Eddie’s stroke last week, I had to rush the process. I’m not even fully moved out of moms. I thought hey, maybe I could decorate or something, but where the hell do you start? So I got that box today, and your flower. Thank god because you’re fucking crazy. Walking from moms in a torrential storm? Why?” That was more of a rhetorical question than anything. JP furrowed his eyebrows at the thought before finishing his spiel, “It’s whatever, you’re here, you’re safe, and that’s what matters. Like you said, this is a big step and I was overthinking it. I just wanted to make it special. Sorry, I suck.” While JP never brought up his self-deprecating, self-worth issues, they were noticeable in the comfort of his room, especially from someone that spent plenty of time with him as much as Rye did. “I’m a dick, I should’ve just told you,” he heavily sighed, internally beating himself up at his failed attempt to be a good boyfriend.

Commitment in itself was a huge step for JP and with the apartment, he thought he could try to make them more an item, more of an exclusive thing. Neither he or Rye did the whole monogamy thing usually but lately, JP couldn’t find himself sleeping around and enjoying it. Every day when he went about his day it was Gavriel on his mind. Gavriel had grown to be his favorite lover to the person he wanted as his only lover. He couldn’t put that in words so for now, he’d take it one step at a time.

He wanted Rye to live with him, away from their parents so they could be there to hold one another, without prying eyes. The idea of changing their routine from brothers to roommates was what made this move worth it. Decisions could be made just between them and not their moms and sisters. This would be their roof to call their own and even though there are days that Rye could be frustrating as hell, like today, JP wanted him. He wanted all of him. The good, the bad, and the ugly. JP wanted to make moves no longer for the family but for them, as a couple. That’s why he wrote ‘yours’. That was the best way to convey his true intentions without sounding desperate. That was the best way for him to show his heart without struggling on finding the right words to say. That was the best way to assure Rye that he wasn’t going anywhere. That he was here.

“Hey,” Rye interrupted his train of thought by rising from his position to look deeper into those troubled eyes that somehow always reminded him of safety, even as they are now. “You’re not a dick, and you were trying to be sweet- I mean, it was sweet!” Rye cupped JP’s cheek in his hand and put their foreheads together, eyes still locked. “It was beautiful, really. I’m just going off the fucking walls recently. I’ve been in my own head and when I’m not I’m just bulldozing through conversations, for all I know someone tried to tell me and I didn’t hear them since I’ve had my music louder recently too. I’ve been crazy, I came in here like a raging dick and all you were doing was planning to romance me. Jericho, you’re amazing,” he kissed the older man like he was a roaring fireplace on a rainy winter day, like he was an oasis in a desert, or the first song that ever made him cry with overwhelming emotion. He kissed him with as much passion as he could muster, wanting to show him that hey, I’m yours too, before he said it out loud for the first time. When he pulled away, he took a second to regain his breath before continuing. Reality, they need reality for just a moment longer.

“But babe, I don’t even have a job, and I’m still a mess, like it takes the whole household to deal with my shit on the bad days. Are you sure-I mean did you think about this? I could start looking for a job but with my panic attacks and lack of degree or further talents, I don’t know where will even accept me…” The self deprecation wasn’t intentional, it wasn’t meant to get JP to feel bad for him and there was no emotional manipulation behind what he said. They were just facts. He barely graduated highschool, he hasn’t worked any more than occasionally helping JP out at MSM on slow days, and he’d never picked up any trade. He still couldn't lift much more than thirty pounds with his bad shoulder before the pain became unbearable, and he still had anxiety and panic attacks nearly daily, weekly if he was doing well. Gavriel was well aware of how much his mental health after the shooting had stunted his growth into an autonomously functioning young adult, and he never said any of these things to bring himself or those around him down. They were just the facts, just how the cards fell.

“I actually thought about that,” Jericho pulled away from Rye, getting off his bed to retrieve his backpack. When he got it, he pulled out a folder and handed it to his lover, smiling, “I looked around, talked to some people, and these seem like the best jobs for you to get your footing.” Dropping his bag on the floor, he took a seat beside Rye and gestured at the applications as the other boy skimmed through them, “Beau is always hiring. I don’t know if you know much about Penelope James, but he adjusted her work so she was strictly backend. The shooting messed her up too, but Beau’s been helping her slowly but surely. Yesterday she made my coffee so I think she is getting better.”

They went to the next application.

“Swerve Arcana is a chill place. Oz swears by it. If you want a place to be your absolute self, with no fucks given, that’s a great place to start and Avery is pretty knowledgable in all things nerdy. I think your classmate… Marco Brady? He’s in your year. He goes there all the time. Quinton Woods, also your year, used to frequent there too. Had a group called Midnight Society. All who suffer socially one way or another, but find adventure in each other.”

As he waited for Rye to look at the next piece of paper, Jericho absentmindedly started drumming his legs. When Rye did switch to the next one, Main Street Music, JP glanced over at his desk with boxes stacked on top of it, “You already know a bit of my job. Really, you don’t need to talk unless someone approaches you. And more often than not, it’s people asking where they can find an artist, or if we got a certain album. I can handle suggesting instruments and offering lessons, you can run the cash register, organize the records, and listen to music. Honestly, most of the time, it’s just me listening to music. Most people know what they’re looking for when they’re coming to us and it’s not like everyone owns a record player. We stay afloat because of the lessons we offer, online sales, and our loyal customers. The only problem with that one is,” JP grinned, from ear to ear, lifted Rye’s chin and gave him a gentle, tender kiss, “We’d have to behave.”

’Oh, we would not be able to behave.’ Rye thought, tilting his head a bit.

Mischievously, JP trailed his kisses around Rye’s face, showing him how much he meant to him. His worries from earlier were gone, at least for this moment in time. No one else mattered. It was him, it was Gavriel. It was them. In their own paradise, away from the world, in the form of an apartment. JP seemed to find himself more and more at peace now that his issues with Rye were being resolved. Communication does wonders when you actually talk. Too bad he wasn’t the best at articulating how he felt. It took a crazy Rye to get him to speak about his problems, instead of carrying the burdens on his own. Putting an inch between their faces, he shrugged, indifferent to Rye’s decision, just hoping he’d be encouraged to start walking in life, even if he still needed to hold his hand, “Whatever you decide, you’ll rock it. Hell, I can call Maya and see if Pietro’s is hiring. You have options and you have me.”

Their souls had owned each other at first glance, and no matter how far they stray they always came back to each other. Like clockwork. This was another case of their cosmic yo-yo effect with each other, and god did he love the ride back to the hand just as much as he hated the initial castout. It was time they lost themselves in each other for the evening, enjoy the ride back to the hand.

Reality could wait.

Giddy and nervous in equal parts about these new steps in life, Rye nodded and surged forward to kiss JP again, dropping the folder behind him on the other half of the bed while he pushed his lover back and threw a leg over him to straddle his hips and kiss him again. JP had never been leaving him behind, hadn’t even thought of it. He’d been making plans to take him with him the whole time. Settling on his lover’s lap and stealing his breath one more time, Rye pulled back and looked deep into JP’s eyes, basked in the attention and the love he felt there.

“I do have you, Apollo,” he whispered the nickname, tenderly cupping the older man’s face once more. His Apollo, his god of music, the one that brought light into his life and became his muse just as much as Rye became his. “Because you’re mine,” He kissed him again, capturing Jericho’s lower lip between his teeth as he pulled back before kissing him once more quickly after and locking their gazes. “And you have me. I’m yours. I’ve always been yours.” Even when he was messing around with Decky and the other serpents, even when he and Danny were having their game, and even in his darkest moment, Jericho Phillips-Shomer was never far from his mind.

As Gavriel straddled him, Jericho pulled him close, embracing him, longing for him. Rye’s petite body was pressed tightly against his, leaving absolutely no space in between them. Together, they were two lovers who ached for each other. Two lovers who always wanted and needed each other. Two lovers who couldn’t live without each other. This is what it felt to have someone’s heart. This is what it felt to be wanted.

While they might not make sense to some people, especially those who know what type of lovers they’ve been, lovers to many, they made sense to each other. They were brothers not by blood but by marriage. That was questionable, but not immoral. In all honesty, they got involved with each other before the big reveal that their mothers were dating, and at the time neither would’ve admitted how deeply they were caught up and madly whipped. At the time, neither would’ve held the other down, be it fear or simply not wanting to suffocate and trap. At the time, neither would’ve known what it meant to have your world become a person. At the time, neither understood what it meant to be in love.

Now all JP wanted to do was hold Rye down. Not in a way that prevents him from doing what he wants to do in life, but like a kite and a line. His Gavriel. His world. He was a creature of the clouds, just waiting to get back out there and fly, and JP was grounded in the Earth. They needed each other and deep down they always knew that. Without him, Rye would break from the line and float away. Without Rye, JP would crash straight to the ground and lose his purpose. His kite.

Grabbing onto Rye’s soft hair, JP roughly tugged at the curls, forcing distance between their faces as the smaller man squirmed and moaned, “Good.” He sucked on Rye’s neck, claiming what was his. In a matter of seconds, JP had flipped the boy around to where he was on top and held Rye’s arms above his head, holding his wrists down while the other man stared up at him with a heated gaze, “I wouldn’t want it any other way.”

Edenridge

_{TIMESTAMP: After Useless Musings}

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After finding a native fox named Adora Diamondheart, easily found at the Blue Sun’s Hotel & Gambling Hall — someone both Natalia and Mordechai knew — the quartet dropped off their belongings at her place. At her humble abode, a heartfelt reunion took place where neither Jade nor Poppy participated. Once everything was said and done Natalia and Jade were quick to scatter, rather hastily, without discussing a game plan.

Whether it was Charlie’s ghost or some kind of annoying ha-ha joke, Pops and Decky were alone, together, one person clearly annoyed at the other, deciding what to do. They stood at the front patio having no idea where the other two headed off to. It was only five minutes they all claimed a room and got settled in. In those five minutes, the other two disappeared. Nowhere to be found.

With a blank expression, which spoke volumes to those who knew her, Penelope hooked her thumbs into her pockets and strolled down the stairs. She knew why she was here and if no one else wanted to help her through this, she’d move forward alone. When her feet met the soil, she turned to look over her shoulder, up at her pain-in-the-ass friend. Her green eyes caught his dark gaze and held it for a silent moment. A moment only he and Charlie would understand; a look he got many times before. That look that said ‘I’m going ahead, with or without you’.

Turning her attention away from him, she closed her eyes, taking in the sun rays. Glowing in the warmth, she inhaled and exhaled, finding Charlie’s gentle face, childish smile, and goofy laugh creeping in the back of her mind. She had a purpose here and that was to meet Mitena. This wasn’t about Charlie’s journal anymore. This was about her and finding the missing pieces of her Heart.

There were so many choices filled with regret and to this day, she dissected his words trying to see if there was a hint of a boy that loved her. Not a boy that kept secrets. Poppy was unable to breathe because she lived a life for his memory and not for herself. She lived a life so dysfunctional because she believed she couldn’t live a life without him. She always knew he’d come back to her. He’d come back. He’d always come back.

Not anymore though.

She needed to move forward, pick up all her shattered pieces and glue them back together. Charlie was dead. And with his death, her heart was lost. The pain, the grief, and the sadness overwhelmingly filled her lungs, like she was being weighed down at the bottom of the lake, and the burning sensation of drowning took over her body, telling her to give up. Give up. Just give up.

She thought he’d fight for her but no, this wasn’t that type of story. It was time that Poppy fought for herself and grew the fuck up. Walking away from Adora’s house, Poppy set off in a direction, not knowing her destination, in hopes the further she went the more she’d come to terms that this was her life now. A life of uncertainty. A life of unknowns. A life. Would finding Mitena give her closure to help her heal? Or would she find herself picking up more broken glass, unable to repair herself in the way she’d hope? Only time could tell.

Mordechai could never blame Poppy for the look she sent his way, no matter how many times he’s gotten it with the same result of tearing into his heart. It was a final look, it was a if you don’t fix things now then they may never be fixable again look. Once again, he’d fucked up without even trying. He may have let his friend in on where he took Danny on the holidays but he’d obviously downplayed the relationship between him and Adora, something that became evident when his reunion with her included the intimate humiliation of crying into her shoulder while shuddering out apologies to the woman that he and Danny also called Auntie. The look he’d caught on Poppy’s, and even Jade’s, face said enough about his newest case of looking like a jackass, and his face had been red from both crying and shame from that moment on.

Talk about uncomfortable.

Allegra had been right, because if Poppy felt even the slightest bit the same when he and Charlie had left her behind to do serpent things then they had always been doing her more harm than good. They’d been the ones breaking her down as they thought they were building a protective barrier around her. That look, the way it tore into him every time it was aimed his way, was the closest thing Poppy had ever done to actually leaving them behind or out of things. Yet they, or at least Mordechai, never learned. Here he was years later, having returned with a secret family and even more connections than Poppy had thought he’d had.

As her feet met the soil, he followed close behind, staying a step behind her while he allowed her to gather herself and her thoughts just as much as he was allowing himself. When he was ready, he sped up just a bit to walk shoulder to shoulder with her, no longer the brash kid that would run ahead and leave her at his back. The only time he ever wanted her to see his back was if he was really shielding her from something awful, not just thinking that he was.

“I’ve fucked up a lot,” He started, looking over to his friend and admiring how the sun made her glow in a way you’d never be able to see in the hazy gloom that always blocked out the sun south of Carlisle. “I’m…I don’t know if apologizin’ for it is what ya want, because it’s not gonna feel genuine, right?” He posed rhetorically, hands in his pockets and gaze pulling away from her and towards the clear sky so unlike the storm they had been driving away from. “But I just…I know I’ve been stupid, Legs don’t call be bovo constantly for nothin’. But she’s also really good at callin’ me on my shit that I’m too far up my own ass ta see, like actin’ as though I was some knight protectin’ ya from the darkest parts of Southie like ya didn’t grow up there too, like ya don’t have more legacy there than I do. All I can do right now is say sorry, but if you’ll let me, I wanna use this point on ta actually show ya I’m changin’, that ya don’t have ta leave me behind and that I won’t leave ya behind anymore, either.”

Mordechai stopped walking and put his hand on Poppy’s shoulder, gripping it light enough that she could pull away and keep going if she wanted. In return, Penelope stopped in her tracks. She didn’t turn to him. All she did was bring herself to a halt and wait.

“I just want the chance ta show ya, but I get it if I’ve used up all’a your patience already,” He gave a quiet, self-deprecating laugh and looked to the ground. “You’ve done more for me, especially recently, than anyone else and I kept turnin’ my back on ya thinkin’ it made me some protector. I didn’t mean ta leave ya out of so much’a our lives back then, I was stupid,” Mordechai looked up and sighed, stepping forward and turning in front of her so they were face to face and searching to meet Poppy’s eyes. “I mean, I’m probably gonna keep bein’ stupid since I don’t really know how ta stop that, but I was kinda hopin’ that…I don’t know, that you’d wanna be by my side ta stop some'a the worst of it?”

They say green is one of the strongest colors, igniting the new season. A goodbye to winter days. Her eyes were born in strength, and never failed to promise a better tomorrow, no matter how much sadness it carried. As much as she was annoyed, when they shared moments like these, where he broke down his walls and reached for her hand, a connection she couldn’t really put into words, she knew he meant well.

Mordechai saw the world differently than her. They might have been raised on the same side of town but that didn’t change the fact he had a far worse hand than she ever would. Both of their lives sucked but at least Poppy’s childhood didn’t leave her barely whole, constantly searching for stability or a feeling to drain the pressure from the unbearable pain of not being loved by the people that brought you into this world. In that matter, she was lucky. No matter how much of a pain in the ass he was to her, no matter the little white lies he told to shield her, no matter how much she didn’t know of him, which made her realize how little she knew of Charlie, she loved him.

“If you weren’t stupid, you wouldn’t be you, huh?” Penelope teased a small smile out of him before gingerly, cautiously bringing her hand up and gently, tenderly placing it on Mordechai’s cheek. “I’m not going to expect you to change overnight. I’m not going to expect you to change at all. But I’m not going to sit around and watch you kill yourself either, you understand?” Her words shook as she spoke, trying to hold back all the emotions she’s been harboring for so long, since he left town.

“I lose you, I lose another piece of me. And I’m barely here as is. I can accept I don’t know you or Charlie like I thought I did. I can accept I’ll never fully belong…” She heavily breathed in and out, bringing her voice down to a low whisper, “I can accept people die. Maxine. Danny. Charlie. But I can’t accept you killing yourself while you’re still alive. I don’t think my heart could take it.”

Mordechai leaned into her hand even as his tears slipped out of his closed eyes and coated her fingers, evidence of the emotions swirling within the both of them. He reached his hand up to hers and gently clasped them together, pulling her hand down to his chest and covering it with his other, easily enveloping hers completely with how small she was in comparison. He kept her hand against his chest with both of his, letting her feel the strong heart pumping clean blood through his system. What she’d said was similar to her reasoning when he had first gone clean in highschool for Danny and the emancipation, only Maxine had been the only name on her list back then. He wondered if she could feel the stutter his heart did as he thought of how the list had grown for him too. Maxine, Conan, Danny, Charlie, so much death and misery around them and he’d been putting so much stress on Poppy having her thinking that he was making his own one way ticket onto her list. God, he was such an ass.

“I’m here, Angel, and I understand. I’m done with the heavy shit, I’m here. And ya do belong,” He whispered, voice shaking as badly as hers. “Ya belong with me, with Jade, Allegra and the kids. Ya have us, and I’m sorry that I was too much of a dumbass ta see it before, what I was doin’ to ya.” Because they grew up together, and she grew up thinking she was unloved by her friends. He knew what it felt like when those you were meant to live and grow with treat you like you don’t deserve such a basic element of a relationship. He’d been hollow from the day his memory started until the day Sunshine filled up a piece of his heart, and then Danny and later a young Poppy, then Charlie and then Jade. Things had been fine then, and then he joined the Serpents and began putting up a wall Poppy couldn’t look over, isolating her from her birthright and casting a shadow over her life. He’d abused his friendship with her like he’d abused his friendship with Charlie. It looks like his parents had taught him something after all, molding him into the type of person that would ruin his own life so they no longer had to do it for him.

But he started a new life with Allegra and the kids, and it was time to get past everything and try to start the new chapters in their lives, that was the new goal. Never a promise, there was still never something as fragile to break as a promise passing his lips. But honesty was something he used to be brutally good at, and it was time he applied it again. Starting with what’s been on his mind for the past few days.

“I’m…I talked ta Phil the other day, and he can give me part time work at the shop,” His mechanic father figure was supporting enough families full time, and Mordechai couldn’t bring himself to put another full family on the man’s list of responsibilities. He opened his eyes to stare into hers once more, this time with conviction and strength. “I’ve been thinkin’ of goin’ back ta the Serpents for the rest of my income. I’m not gonna keep anythin’ from ya anymore, it ain’t gonna be like when we were kids. I just miss everyone there, and it’s felt like my heart’s been hurting ta get back there since the first time I walked back over the tracks,” He scoffed out a bland laugh as he remembered the woman waiting for them to return back home. He knew that she was in his head already. “And I’m pretty sure Legs is comin’ in with me, so I couldn’t hide anythin’ even if I wanted to.”

There was something oddly soothing about feeling his heartbeat. It was when he placed her hand on his chest that she felt the feeling of relief wash over her. Something so real, so concrete, as a beating heart. The pulse running through his veins and the light in his eyes to assure her he was here. As he talked, she had a moment where she listened but could hear the gunshot that took Charlie out. The gunshot her father shot. The sudden flash of a memory, not as distant as she had wished it to be, caused her to grip onto his shirt. When the haunting image came and went, she opened her eyes to glance up at him and she smiled, burying her beasts to focus on him, “I knew you would go back. Your heart never left.”

Stepping forward, Poppy leaned her forehead against his chest, against their hands, and welcomed the silence for a second or two. He was a pain in the ass but he was her pain in the ass and she wouldn’t trade that for the world. Turning her head to face the reservation, resting herself against her friend, their hands and arms shifting to an embrace, she looked to see the distant land, unfortunately impoverished but still beautiful. It was beautiful because Poppy could tell, from the people that they met thus far, cultivated and cared for it. Tended and brought so much love to it. The land and the people. They worked in tandem to avoid neglecting one another and the place they call home to create something beautiful. If only the people of Edenridge aspired to not take for granted the things they had. The people they loved.

“I need you to know,” she took in the sight of the reservation once more before looking back up to him, one of the few people she could be this intimately close with, “I need you to know that I won’t stop holding you when you can’t hold yourself. I need you to know I’m strong. Maybe not in the same way as you, but when things get too heavy, let me carry that weight. You are not alone and you and me, we could tell ourselves everyday we fucking killed all those we loved. That it was our fault. But really, what good does that do?”

Her words lingered around them, heavy and full of conviction. Full of power and love, a belief that they would get past this. That this too shall pass. She shook her head at the thought of all the bullshit they’ve experienced, making them guilty of people who were no longer with them. Guilty to live. “We had no control in any of that. Nothing you said, nothing I said, would’ve stopped Charlie. He was gone. Long gone before that day…” Digging his own grave. “And if you ever reach that dark place, and I know you have one, I have one too, remember me. Like I remember you.”

She hoped Mordechai understood what she meant, when she pleaded with him to remember her. It wasn’t just her she wanted him to remember. To choose. It was Legs. It was his babies. It was Jade. It was Sunshine. It was his boys. It was the idea of waking up tomorrow. It was the thought of finding peace, like Danny had hoped he would one day. It was a reminder that she loved him and if nothing else, he had her and she had him. He would always have her through thick and thin. What would the world do without Boa and his Street Angel? Be dreadfully boring, that’s for sure. “You matter. You matter to me.”

His entire frame shook as he held her close and took in her words, silent until he had control over the sobs threatening to rack their way through his body. Slowly, he took deep breaths until his heart rate had slowed back down and he could talk without crying. Once he’d accomplished that the guilt ridden fool kissed the top of his friend’s head and gently pulled away to wipe his eyes and squint up at the sun and the woods surrounding the trail they’d ended up on.

“Ya matter to me more than ya could ever know, Pops. I’m sorry I didn’t before, but I see ya, okay?”

“Good, because if you didn’t I’d have to give you a can of whoop-ass. Hi-yah!” Poppy tried to break the mood by doing a judo chop in the air, like the dork that she always was, causing Mordechai to break out in an uncontrolled laughing fit. Surprisingly, she didn’t cry during this. She could’ve sworn she was going to, but she was grateful she gave Decky the safe space to be vulnerable. She was grateful he could be unapologetically himself with her. She was grateful for him.

Perking up, straightening her posture, she offered her hand to hold, “Ready to unravel even more secrets? If I’m getting fucked up, I’m taking you with me.” Some people might misunderstand their relationship but the two southies were at a point of not really giving a fuck about what othere people thought.

“When we fall, we fall together,” He replied with a new strength behind his words as he gripped her small hand in his once more, the weight of dragging another friend down now lifting off of his shoulders. “No one ta catch us but ourselves, right?”

They were imperfectly perfect for each other.

Platonic soulmates.

Maybe Charlie’s ghost knew what he was doing after all…