Ever since Friday, Jade hasn’t been the same. Ever since her interaction with The Devil, something about the days and nights that have passed since (save for the one time early Sunday morning she got to shut off her mind and freely enjoy herself), something in her felt off. It was both the feeling she had before she had a visitor that night and what she was left feeling after. Like her mind was being pulled in seven different directions, giving her so many alternate scenarios, so many alternate ways to look at it.
And honestly, Jade was feeling overwhelmed by it. Maybe that’s why she wasn’t bothered by the new batch of letters. She couldn’t even focus on it. Someone was still trying to get under their skin, but she wasn’t in the headspace to give it the attention that it probably deserved. In the back of her mind, she was still playing back the way Hyde exploded on her, his cold hands on her throat, almost pressing on it enough to not put her life in any danger but still control of the situation. His cold eyes.
Damn, they will haunt her for the immediate future.
And you could forget about sleep. Jade had difficulty sleeping as it was, but ever since Friday, she’s only managed to get five hours in total. Between the empty bottles of whiskey that laid around her couch and lines of coke on her coffee table (not to mention a few joints spread across), Jade was doing anything she could to keep those thoughts at bay.
Amidst all of this, her mind often drifted into a place that brought her some comfort. Jade reflected on the past month and how she’s really been distant from those who have always served as her anchor. Whether intentionally or unintentionally, she’s isolated herself to a point. Since the night at Carlisle, she hasn’t been in the right place mentally and now with what happened Friday night, Jade felt like she was one step away from the edge.
She had to get out of it.
So next thing she knew, she had her phone in her hand and dialed a number. She pressed it against the left side of her cheek and it started to ring. About three and a half rings in, it was answered. “Thank God you answered,” she said almost a little too desperately, “you busy, Pops?”
“No, well yes. Actually this is perfect!” Penelope enthusiastically exclaimed as she stopped Charlie’s record player and made her way to the window to peer into her own bedroom, like her forever love had done many times over. “I was going to pick you up. First Mordechai, since he’s like… a minute away…” Lifting the window up, she surveyed the distance from one window to the other. Seemed easy enough. Yeah, she could totally do it. “I need you,” she admitted, turning around and leaning on the window sill, surveying Charlie’s room while talking to her soul sister, “But before I explain why, how are you? It’s been… awhile. You didn’t answer many of my texts. Usually I’m the one holed up and depressed. You okay?”
Jade could only smile as she looked down. Her legs were propped up, feet on the edge of her couch and knees close to her face. “Yeah..I’m okay. Well, okay maybe not. I don’t know…” This was foreign for Jade. Poppy was right this was more a her thing to go so long and yet Jade didn’t have a good excuse for why she was avoiding everyone and everything. Certainly she could have done more, but it was…difficult. And especially with things happening at an alarming rate. “I’m sorry, Pops…I didn’t mean to worry you…Or anyone. After Carlisle, I needed to figure some shit out. I had to make sure I had my head screwed on right before I faced you guys. Not even sure it is even now…”
“J,” Penelope firmly voiced, putting a strand of her hair behind her ear. “It’s okay,” she reassured. The dark haired beauty let her words sit in the air for a moment, wanting to add weight to everything that left her lips. The moment came and the moment went. Poppy continued, with fire in her tone, “First off, don’t say sorry. You have no reason to be fucking sorry for hurting.”
Poppy understood better than anyone that the monsters in one’s head can overwhelm all the senses. The monsters pushed their prey in the corner, forcing them to build walls or run away. Both which were not solutions. The reason they kept quiet was because of the feeling of being a burden. The weight was so heavy to carry alone and yet that’s exactly what they did because saying ‘I’m not okay’ was so hard to do. It was easier to act like you got everything under control and try to minimize your emotions then ask for help. With so much to say, but no bruises or scars to show the battle on the inside, Penelope could vividly imagine exactly what Jade was going through.
“A little piece of advice,” Poppy responded, finding herself back on Charlie’s bed as she focused in on her conversation with her best friend, “If you’re mentally fucked, don’t carry that shit by yourself. I’m here for a reason. Don’t sink without me. You’re never going to screw that mess on - right or tight or however you imagine it should be - alone.”
Look at Charlie.
His mental health took a turn for the worse when he thought he was utterly alone. Where did that lead him? Six feet under. “Who cares if you don’t have it all together. I sure as hell don’t. Fuck, I’m still a hot mess. Growth doesn’t happen when we want it to, Jade. It doesn’t happen overnight. It may not happen in a week. It could take a month or two, but it also could take forever. Growth happens when it wants. And I promise you, when it does happen, you'll know. You’ll know.”
As much as Jade wanted to believe her soul sister (and she really did), there were things she didn’t know. Things that she wished she could tell her, but even right now as she sat on her couch, looking, really nowhere in particular, she still could feel the extreme discomfort when she felt his breath on her. She so desperately wanted to tell Pops about that, but if she felt like this after an encounter that was supposed to be a good thing for her (it sure as hell didn’t feel like it), then what would that do to Pops? What would he do to Pops? Jade couldn’t think about that right now.
Shaking her head, she prioritized what needed to be prioritized. “Thank you, P,” she said with every fiber in her being. Smiling and now no longer thinking about The Devil, Jade said, “Before my sad clown pity party, you mentioned you were gonna come get me? What’s up? Is everything okay?” Jade asked, realizing that before they took that detour she never did ask.
Penelope knew Jade all her life and as much as Jade wanted to pretend she had nothing more to say, Poppy knew otherwise. Her intuition told her that Jade was hiding something from her - that her sister was scared of something or someone. Observant through and through, especially when it came to those she loved. Instead of probing, the James girl decided to shelve her concern for another time and focus on being a distraction for her dear friend. “Did you know that Charlie has a sister?” Poppy bluntly inquired.
What did she say? A sister?
Jade’s jaw was dropped to the floor as she tried to process what Poppy just said. Charlie -- their Charlie -- had a sister!? Of the whole time that Jade spent with Charlie, he never once mentioned having a sister, let alone knowing about having one. Sure, she lost close contact with him in those last couple years of high school before…that happened, but she still couldn’t believe what she just heard. “I..” Jade was struggling to find the words. “No, I most certainly did not know Charlie had a sister. For a while there, I thought I was the closest thing he had to a sister,” Jade lamented while still processing it. “Wait! How on Hell do you know if I don’t?”
“I know because his mom told me,” Pops said matter-of-factly. “Turns out he had an ongoing correspondence with her and told absolutely no one!” There was a bit of salt in that explanation. She couldn’t help but feel annoyed at this big reveal; it only made her feel more insignificant in Charlie’s life. It’s okay, though. One thing Poppy was learning as of late was that Charlie had a lot of secrets. Secrets not meant for her ears, which only made her realize more each day she really wasn’t the girl he loved. “Her life might be endangered. Rhonda has received ominous letters unrelated to the rest that are strictly directed to Mitena - that’s his sister’s name. So I was wondering if you would like to accompany me to Blue Hill? I don’t think I can do this alone, Jade.”
Jade leaned forward, feet down off her coffee table (if you could call it that). She didn’t know how to process any of this. Charlie had a sister and he had been in contact with her even before…everything and never told them? Why didn’t he tell them? Were they not important enough to know? Was there something else he never shared with them? No…Jade had no right to question why Charlie never told her. At the end of the day, she was the one who distanced herself from him, so of course he never told her. But from the sounds of it, he never told Poppy, either. And now she was in danger? Mitena (that’s what Poppy said her name was) was in danger.
“Why is she getting letters? She’s not even involved…” Jade was getting angry for reasons she couldn’t explain. She was innocent in all of this. Whatever anger some might have, Mitena didn’t deserve it. “Of course I’m coming! There’s no way in hell we are going to let her become the target of some maniac because she happened to share the same DNA with Charlie.”
Jade was justifiably angry, but something in her woke up. Ever since her encounter with Hyde and even some time before that, she felt numb--no, it was long before that. Ever since the night at the Carlisle house, Jade has felt an unwavering sense of despair that drowned her in self-pity and an absurd amount of guilt for something that she has tried to not let paralyze her. Anya has certainly helped, but Hyde undid most of that, but now she was feeling…something that opened a latch on the cage she felt she was locked inside of. This new purpose. She couldn’t help Charlie when he needed her most, but maybe she could do right by his sister.
“How soon do you need me ready by? Or should I come to you to make it easier?” Jade asked Poppy.
“I need to wake up Mordechai. Who knows if he’s up or not.” She could gladly say her friend has been sober for about three weeks now. A new record. If anything, he either got no sleep or he was sleeping in. The likelihood of him being out though was unlikely because she could see his Serpent jacket through Charlie’s window and her old window. “I want us all together for this,” Poppy admitted, truly believing this was a family affair and shouldn’t be on just her shoulders to carry. “Come by my place and we’ll head to Scott Street first,” Oh that’s right. Penelope needed to share that too. “I’ll tell you why when you get here. For now, get your ass up and get here.” Penelope not so subtly demanded. One secret was enough for this call. She could tell both Mordechai and Jade together about Natalia being Charlie’s supposed friend when they were both in her family’s home. One step at a time. “And Jade?”
Scott Street? The hell they need to be in the Northside for? As far as Jade knew, they were going on a mission for Charlie. Maybe to stack up on some sandwiches for the road? Blue Hill was a bit of ways out from town, so maybe it was fuel for the road. Yeah, that must be it. “Yeah, Pops?”
“I love you, you hear? Don’t fucking forget that.” And on that note, Poppy hung up.
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