Segment 1: Sexton P.S. Love In-Ring Promo
Sexton Love's music hit, but it was impossible to tell. The sound was completely overpowered by the thunderous chorus of boos eminating from the San Jose crowd. Sexton was still backstage in the gorilla position, and despite receiving the producer's go signal he took some time before making his entrance. It was all about about
milking the crowd response. Although he might've phrased the analogy in slightly different terms.
"You gotta stroke it daddeh," said the Lovely One, finally stepping through the curtain.
There it was.
The noise in the arena multiplied upon Sexton's appearance, and continued to grow as he arrogantly sauntered down to the ring. Feeling as though the heat-seeking sports jerseys had run their course over the last couple of weeks, Tyrannosaurus Sex had instead settled on wearing his electrifying new "$EX SELL$" gimmick tee-shirt. Naturally the sleeves had been cut off. Bicep flexing was cruical.
"You see that daddeh?" yelled Bodzilla, directly into the camera.
"I am the man with the largest arm. The man that causes harm. The real deal, sex appeal, man of STEEL..."For a long time, Sexton had been fundamentally against the idea of selling merchandise as a heel. That was until he had received his first royalty cheque in the mail. Somehow money had made things slightly more palletable. It
was a business after all.
"SEX SELLS darlin'..." he said, pointing at the slogan across the front of his shirt.
"...nobody does it better..." As the Love Doctor climbed into the ring, the camera panned around and was able to get a shot of his back. Written across the flip side of the shirt were the words
"Gimme the f#%kin' mic!", and the ring announcer complied as soon as Sexton stepped between the ropes.
Sexton banged on the top of the microphone, obnoxiously checking to make sure it was on.
"I TOLD YA DADDEH," he began, already being interrupted by jeers from the audience.
"I told ya I was a man's man, a ladies' man... and a BAD, BAD MAN!"The San Jose crowd certainly seemed to think so, as Sexton lowered the mic and allowed the audience reaction to play itself out.
"Last week, LIVE on Shock N' Awe, the whole world got a reminder. A reminder of just how bad I am daddeh. They got a reminder when they saw their hero...The Man Called Thunderbird... bloodied, feathered, and LAID OUT AT MY FEET! ...I didn't think he could GET more red daddeh, until I saw him busted WIDE open!" He was probably going to catch a lot of flack for that last line. But it was worth it.
"...Oh yes indeed... he had that HEAVY FLOW darlin'..." said Sexton, stopping momentarily as his gaze caught the eye of an overweight woman in the front row.
"You know exactly what I'm talkin' about you big ol' nasty bitch!" A hell of a way to talk to the woman that drove you to the arena.
"But it's not enough daddeh," he continued, getting back on point.
"It's not enough for Sexton P.S. Love to show that he's a bad man. He needs to show that he's the BETTER man. I need to beat Thunderbird in the middle of this ring, 1... 2... 3. You heard that right darlin'. The Man They Call Love needs to put DOWN The Man They Call Bird. Down for the three count daddeh.The challenge had been made, and just like selling those electrifying tee-shirts it was time to sell some pay-per-views. It was time to "talk 'em into the building" as they say, and a sell a wrestling match.
And nobody was a better salesman than Sexton Love.
"...THAT'S why I did what I did last week darlin'. Thunderbird got lucky in our first match. He got lucky when he knocked Sexton Love out of the World's Title Tournament, and denied this company the CHAMPION it deserves. Thunderbird got lucky, so Sexton Love got even. That's right daddeh. Sexton Love needs to be the FACE of American Wrestling Entertainment. He needs to be the FACE... the BODY... the MIND... and the BALLS of this company! He needs to be the World's Heavyweight Champion! We can't have a man like Thunderbird as the World's Champion. That just doesn't fly daddeh. Thunderbird can't be the face of anything, he HIDES his face behind a mask...
So Birdy baby, here's what I want. I want The Man They Call Love vs. The Man They Call Bird... September 18th... Las Vegas, Nevada... LIVE on pay-per-view... AT SIN CITY SHOWDOWN! That's right daddeh, a SHOWDOWN in the wild west. The City of SIN will become the City of LOVE, and I will paint the town RED with your blood. I will prove that I am a MAN'S MAN, A LADIES'S MAN....and the BETTER MAN!
Because SEX......... SE--His catchphrase was cut-off by the sound of Thunderbird's music, and the sound of the SAP Center erupting. Thunderbird was here. Fans were on their feet, and chanting the mighty Bird's name. This was the confrontation they wanted to see. This confrontation they had
paid to see.
Thunderbird stepped out onto the ramp, his eyes fixed on Sexton Love standing down in the ring. He had a bandage still covering the gash across his hairline, just above the top of his blue mask. It was clear that Thunderbird was still the worse for wear, clear that he was still feeling the effects of last week's vicious attack. Clear to everyone except for Thunderbird.
The proud warrior stood defiant, a microphone in his hand. This was a somewhat strange sight, given the fact that the Bird was a man of few words. He did his talking in the ring, from bell to bell. Last week he was doing just that. He had come so close to advancing in the World Championship Tournament, until Sexton Love got himself involved, along with a steel chair, and screwed him out of the match. The Love Doctor proceeded to perform
surgery on Thunderbird's head, with the steel chair has his instrument. Thunderbird had come to San Jose for payback. Indeed he held a microphone in his hand, but he was
not here to talk.
He was here to
fight.
"Why wait until September 18th?" said Thunderbird, walking towards the ring with ruthless intentions.
"If you want a showdown, I'm right HERE."Sexton readied himself in the ring, dropping his own microphone and raising his fights. The Sexecllence of Sexecution seemed just as ready to square off in San Jose.
"You ain't man enough darlin'," yealled Sexton, hands still raised.
"You ain't man enough!"The Love Doctor was a highly intelligent man, but in this case he turned out to be wrong. Without hesitation, Thunderbird rushed the ring, and without hesitation, Sexton love bailed out on the other side.
"Boooooooooo!"Thunderbird stood tall in the middle of the ring, ready to fight, but Sexton circled around the perimeter shaking his head. Not tonight. Definitely not tonight.
"PAY-PER-VIEW daddeh... Pay. Per. View." said Sexton, with the camera clearly picking up on his words.
"I'll see you in Vegas Birdy..."Sexton continued to circle around the side of the ring, passing by the same large woman he had insulted a few minutes earlier. Enraged, the hefty fan reached out over the barricade attempting to grab the retreating villain, scratching and clawing at his sleeveless shirt and mullet. Sexton immediately yanked himself away and scampered up the ramp.
"Get your hands off me you funky bitch!"