BrokenPromise

The Worst Writing Advice

On the upside, Roleplaying discussion forum hasn't been this active in a long time.

The Worst Writing Advice

Me yesterday: Hahaha having friendly discourse about the nature of bad writing advice is fun!

Me today:
_{What have I done?}

The Worst Writing Advice

If you hate plot holes, there's an in depth article that justifies that hatred.

Darkest Before the Dawn: A CYOA Magical Girl Roleplay [Completed]

“You can’t has dance competition?”

— Su Fang

The Golden Trove was getting busier. It was a difficult situation to get excited with however. Most of the girls coming in were corrupted, and that meant that the hotel would need to be extra careful to make sure their special needs didn’t ruin things for the other guests. That, and every corrupted girl that booked would make the Golden Trove a bigger blip on the Ascendancy’s radar. But Su and Helga couldn’t be too picky. People were starving on the streets, and they were able to live in relative comfort thanks to everyone coming in. Not just them, but their employees.

The morning shift was over. Most of the staff were cleaning up rooms and restocking the bathrooms. Others were carting baggage to and from the front door. Helga and Su usually had the afternoon shift off, but the sudden influx of guests had forced them to rework their shifts.

Su placed a tray on the front counter. “I just made BLT sandwiches for everyone. There were a few left over for us.” Su picked up one of the sandwiches. “Things seem to be calm for the moment. You might as well eat up.” Su took a bit out of her BLT before taking a seat.

Helga was in her maid uniform, and worked on a few more emails and letters herself before also settling down for a break. “I admit, I didn’t expect this many customers when I shared those flyers at the rave,” she said as she took her own BLT. “I expected like, a 20% increase, but we’re running nearly 60%! Good thing I had those extra bunks prepared in the basement.”

People indeed did not stop. A newcomer had made her way in through the door, moving it ever so slightly and walking with graceful measured steps. It did matter very little. Soon, a space was made around her, stares from assorted individuals looking at her direction. True, most monster girls stood out, but this one stood out even in a crowd of monster girls. Not because of deformities… but because of something else. An air… of measured elegance. Her ears twitched so slightly, as she scanned the counter, her tail firmly down, wrapped around one of her legs.

“I beg your pardon, for I am disturbing your lunch.” Dina Denisova said, as she eyed the staff member. “And I know these times are trying, but might I inquire for one of your rooms?”.

“Oh, welcome to the Golden Trove.”
Helga immediately sprung up, still holding her BLT in her hand as she went behind the counter to greet Dina. She then blinked, having realized she was different from the average Sanctuary refugee. Helga seemed slightly entranced by the catgirl’s royal composure.
She bowed politely. “Yes, we do have some rooms left. Let’s see...” She opened up the room list on her computer, occasionally glancing at the beauty before her.
“We currently don’t have any common rooms available unless you don’t mind sharing a room with other customers, but we do have luxury rooms and a V.I.P suite vacant. Here’s the features and pricing on them.” She turned the computer screen to Dina, allowing her to see the details on each room type, such as minibars, TV, how comfy the beds are, and so on.

Dina looked through the computer screen with a relaxed expression at first, seeing all the features displayed. It was a decent hotel, all things considered, and she was tempted to ask for the VIP room a couple of times. Which prompted her to frown. Her budget was ever so thin at the point in time. Her ears downcast, she eyed the counter maid.

"The VIP room is what I'd like… unfortunately circumstances dictate I should be sparse with my budget. Please arrange for a common room with… someone amenable to my presence, if you will."

Helga nodded, and resumed working on the computer. "Alright, someone amenable…"

“Hmm.” Su looked over Helga’s shoulder. “There’s been a lot of corrupted girls coming in. All with different, erm, needs. Some eat a lot, some are prone to violence. We can find a room for anyone, but you are wise to be concerned about who you bunk with.” She looked back at Dina. “Do you have any impulses we should know about?”

"Hm...I am fairly sound of mind and amenable. I just like my tea freshly brewed, and I sometimes make deathtraps for nasty Bolsheviks." Dina ventured to say. "But this place seems… fairly solid." The cat girl closed her eyes and offered the best of her smiles, as her ears perked up. "Worry not."

“So someone who makes you feel safe.” Su held her chin. “There was a wrath in earlier, had a compulsive desire to protect something. Can you think of anyone else Helga?”

Helga nodded with a smile, her eyes seemingly a bit shinier than usual. "Alright, here's a good match. This girl likes to build fortifications and traps around her home. I'm sure if you talk to her, she will accept you as a roommate." She offered a room key to Dina. "Would that be all? We also have a restaurant where we serve customers breakfast and dinner. Would you like to browse our menu?"

"That would be delightful." Dina said as she purred softly, not bothering to hide she had a hole in her stomach due to the incessant movement she had subject herself on these past days. "I would also welcome some heads on possible… people of influence I could become acquainted with." She paused. "This world sadly, is one of toil."

“People of influence?” Su shrugged. “After the fiasco at the rave and the park, I’m not sure there are any left. Cindy was slain, and I don’t know if Beacon is open to talking to monster girls at the moment. I’ve heard someone’s building a sanctuary, but don’t know much about that.”

It was then when Dina leant forward, her tail uncoiling from her leg and swishing up, as she drew carefully close to the both of them, her voice a soft whisper to not disturb the peace "I may know a thing or two about that. Cindy and I… were acquainted. However I did leave due to differences. I hoped that in time, they would be smoothed over… but you know the rest." She added leaning back with a coy smile.

"I'd be delighted to discuss it over a cup of tea. And sandwiches. Those do look tasty."

Helga clapped her hands once in a bout of joy.
"Why of course, Miss Dina!" She responded with a happy look in her eyes. "We have a couple of our scrumptious BLT sandwiches left. You can have one alongside a cup of tea if you'd like a sample of the Golden Trove's excellent catering." After Dina signed her in the visitor register, Helga guided her over to a table over at the restaurant. "Just a minute while I fetch the tea," she would say before parting with Su and Dina, leaving the two alone.

“Bolsheviks? Those sound familiar.” Su rested her arms on the table. “Do you mind telling me about them?”

"Tis but an old story,"Dina said, graciously helping herself to the offered seat. "I was highborn, a noble vassal of the Tsar. Born to rule, by the grace of my blood, and groome as such. Yet, the Great War seeped a most horrid poison in the hearts of men. Driven mad by that black hearted scoundrel known as Lenin, they rose. Exhausted as we were, we lost everything.” Dina said as she cast her gaze in the distance. “The folks of this country call them reds, commies… some kind of subversive ghosts… but for people like me, those ghosts were very real. And they are still somewhere around.” The catgirl said, before letting a chuckle.

“I know what your next question will be. Before you submit me such a rude question I shall answer. I’ve raised five children in my… mortal life. Lived until the age of 105, and then one puchuu...who called me expired goods was desperate to make a contract with me.” She paused. “Should’ve known that being who I am and what I lived, my potential as a magical girl was beyond what he could control.” She paused, as she groomed her tail slightly. “The extra bits are a result of that.”

“I… Wasn’t going to ask that.” Su huffed. “Though it seems that we’ve both mingled with nobility at some point. I can’t say I’m too familiar with Russia. It’s interesting to hear about though.”

“I can’t say i’m too familiar with modern Russia either. It’s become a monster beyond my comprehension.” Dina shrugged. “I had hoped to find myself a nice courtly place to do the statecraft I was taught to. Cindy did not appreciate the diplomacy and value of talks as much as I did. Alas, now that she is dead, I cannot ask her to reconsider.” Her head tilted.

“Penny Asimov… mismatching name, I know. Asimov is a boy’s surname… is the one behind this newest attempt at rebuilding.” She looked left and right, trying to find if her tea had arrived. “And I’ve found myself in a nice, new project. I can’t be sleeping on derelict buildings anymore.. But the budget’s going to be tight.” She added, without much prompt. “So what’s your story, lady of the court?”

Su pointed at herself. “M-me? And Su’s fine.” Su looked away. With a sigh, she looked back at Dina. “I was a concubine.” She finally professed. “And I didn’t have any children. My human life wasn’t even a fraction of yours. I didn’t do anything noteworthy. My calligraphy is pretty good though, and I’m a decent dancer.” She chuckled. “I feel like I accomplished a lot more as a magical girl.” Su hesitated. “With this hotel being my biggest accomplishment. It feels nice to be able to help so many people. Killing monsters is just part of the battle, people need homes too, right?”

“Interesting.” Dina purred, as she eyed Su closer up. “Hmm… definitely traits that can woo the hearts of men.” She commented half-heartedly. “ Also traits that would be useful in a court.” She paused. “There’s always a next day to try. And I’d not worry too much about having noteworthy history. It’s much better to be oneself than to try to etch your name in history in toil and blood.”

“Right..” Su averted her eyes.

She then addressed her more seriously. “People need more than homes. They need safety. Hopes, dreams. Idols. Things that will comfort their fragile hearts in the dark of the night.” Dina looked at Su. “The way you talk, I’m pretty sure you know what I am talking about.” She kept talking. “So I’d appreciate any help I could get towards rebuilding that… Sanctuary. Even if it’s just a list of names or people I can talk to. I do not mind talking. “ The cat noble girl finished, before impishly grinning at Su.

“Still, your words trouble me somewhat. I do not believe you are telling the truth.” She stood, her tail firmly up and ears twitching. “Care to demonstrate how good of a dancer you are?” She finished, offering her hand to Su.

Her eyes glanced at Dina’s hand and then back up. “M-maybe when Helga gets back. Our relationship is young, and she’s sensitive about such things.” Su grinned. “Besides, I’m not sure you could hang on.”

“Such a pity… It has been a while since I tried to have some good old-fashioned fun.” Dina said, swishing her tail and feigning sulkiness.”Still… from a dancer to manager… you must have some friends in decent places, don’t you?”

“My patron’s just wealthy. Being an old dragon, he’s collected some things.” She waved her hand. “You’ll get your dance. I’m sure once Helga gets here you’ll have a few partners to choose from. And speaking of…”

Helga returned as if summoned, carrying a tray with wrapped sandwiches, teacups, and a pitcher that emanated with the scent of freshly brewed tea. “Here you, go,” she stated, and sat down. “Did you say something about dancing? I’ve tried it out, and it’s a lot of fun. What kind of music would you like to dance to?” She asked Dina.

“Mmm” Dina purred softly as she poured some tea and began looking at the sandwiches, deciding which one to pick. “Your...colleague here has made quite an outrageous remark about dancing, and I was willing to have her prove her words. But alas, It seems that she thinks I might not be able to keep up.” She smiled. “Mayhaps you might be a more amenable partner, then.”

“It’s just a very specialized kind of dance that I do.” Su picked up a tea cup and held her hand over it. “Classical Chinese dance is very demanding. Your training isn’t considered complete until you’ve done it for at least a decade. It requires an athlete’s body and there’s a lot of choreography to remember.” She set the cup back down when she decided it was too hot. “I’m also a little out of practice though.” She confessed. “That’s what I mean by I’m decent but you wouldn’t be able to keep up. It’s one of the reasons I never offer to dance with Helga.” Her eyebrows raised. “Though we did end up dancing over the vacation.”

Dina shrugged then. “Suit yourself, then. I guess I could have some lighthearted entertainment during your break, given that I do have a feline spine now and my notions of ballet, but I shall pry no further.” The noble catgirl swished some tea, and then tried to sip it, however it seemed to be fairly hot, so her tongue just licked the top layer, much like a cat would do. Deciding that was not very ladylike of hers, but rather catlike, she picked one of the sandwiches and began taking small measured bites of it.

“Besides, I am now more curious at this Zmey you mentioned. I thought those were long gone from this world. But if you say it’s your master...hmm.” She pondered. “Could it be that august creature is the true owner of this place, then?”

Helga nodded enthusiastically at Su's explanation. "Yes, we performed it as a duet and the-tee hee~." She couldn't help but giggle as she saw Dina express felidae mannerisms, and she stymied it with a hand over her mouth.
"I'm sorry, what you did just now was too adorable for me to ignore." She bowed to apologise. "Oh, and regarding the owner...Uh, I'm sorry, but he is not available for meetings. He is a very busy dragon."

“Busy as he might be…” Dina eyed both of them. “It is such a rare opportunity I am compelled to ask that, if it is not much trouble, at least try and see if he is amenable with an audience with a former blue blood maiden as myself... “ Dina slightly purred. She had been called cute, so cute would be the coin of trade. “...and your efforts shall not go unrewarded. I do know how to make borsch, after all. A hot soup can lift up many hearts.”

Dina was grabbed, not too roughly, by the shoulder. She was then turned to face the girl that had been sitting beside her. It was Su, but she appeared to have visibly aged. There were giant black rings around her eyes. When she spoke, it was a fast paced ramble.

“I’m going to resist the urge to call you a hussie even if I think you’re kind of acting like one. But you don’t seem to understand. You don’t see him patrolling the lower floors because he doesn’t like to mingle with magical entities. If he wanted to see people he’d come down from his perch and talk to you.” The woman cupped her hands on either side of Dina’s face. “You may think I’m acting brash but I’ve found that there are feelings that cannot be conveyed politely. I’m operating on minimal sleep and I don’t have enough hands to do all the work. The other day a mimic girl called room service so that she could try to eat the maid, today I had to wash a bathtub that a mummy was going to use as her sarcophagus. I love my guests, but it’s a confusing time for everyone. I don’t need any more problems right now.” She released Dina’s face.

The woman reached for her cup of tea, and lifted it to her lips. After taking a sip, she started to turn back into Su. “This is excellent Helga! I was worried you were going to make something decaffeinated.” She kissed Helga on the cheek.

Helga blushed from receiving the kiss on her cheek, and placed her hand there with an embarrassed smile. "Please, not in front of the customers, Su~" But as much as she tried appearing professional, she couldn't deny the giddy feeling she had from the compliment. "I'm glad that brought the pep back in your step."

“You should be.” Su turned to Dina. “I’m sorry, I blanked out there for a moment. You were talking about your spine? And soup?” She shrugged. “Seems you can’t be dissuaded. I’ll have to dance with you then. It doesn’t have to be classical Chinese dance to be good.” She looked to Helga. “Would you like to try performing as a trio?”

Helga then nodded, and took out a remote control from her pocket. "Sure! I'll put some dance music on." She clicked a button, and the music had changed from generic pop to something more fitting for a casual case of carpet cutting.
She took Su's hand afterwards. "Let's make some moves, Su!"

Dina flinched, as her ears lowered significantly upon Su’s display. The hairs on her tail became erect, and she struggled hard not to pull back and flee on that moment. She did not, because people would benefit from this. Her eyes shrunk significantly at the display, only taking some semblance of normalcy.

“That rudeness is unbecoming.” She said in a lower-than usual voice, akin to cat’s hiss rather than a purr. “Do not marr this excellent tea time any longer with your display. I see your point.” Dina added, as she reigned herself in to drink tea, even if her hands were about to tremble and spill everything on the floor. “Do not misunderstand me, I was merely offering some levity to your predicament in the best way I could think of. If that’s what you wish, I have other ways.” She added, not paying attention to the dance. “I have no mood to dance now. In fact I am in the mood of thanking your hospitality, paying my fees until now, and grabbing that door and never coming back.” Dina admitted. “In respect to Miss Helga’s efforts, though, I shall stay.” She then fumbled on her clothes, producing a single white feather, of unusual length.

“It is custom for nobility to give a present to the ruler of a castle thanking their hospitality. While for mortals this has not much value, this pinion belongs to a Pegasus, whom I can command in battle. Present it to your master, once you’re done with the distraction dance.” She continued to sip tea, as she focused. An aura deployed from the cat-girl, washing away fatigue and healing the tiredness of both girls, with the same ease as she kept drinking her tea and eating the sandwiches. “For services rendered.” She finished as she drank the last of her tea.

“Hmm?” Su twirled Helga. “My focus is a bit waning. I’ve had about 4 hours of sleep over the past 2 days and have been running on tea and coffee to get me through. If I offended you though, I apologize.’” The two dancers hopped backwards until their arms were fully extended, and then with a yank, they pulled themselves together again. “This is the most fun I’ve had since coming back from my vacation, and you’re partially to thank for that. Hopefully as you continue your stay you will see the wisdom in choosing the Golden Trove.”

Helga for her part was shocked to see Dina’s sudden change. Instead of stopping the dance however, she redoubled her efforts in an attempt to try and placate the noble catgirl with more daring dancing maneuvers. At one point, she picked Su up by her waist and lifted her high into the air for a half-circle spin before returning her back to the ground.
“How was that?” She asked, slightly panting from the performance.

“I’m not used to flying without magic.” Su didn’t take her eyes off of Helga.

Dina looked at the couple, before tilting her head. “Well I suppose it was good, considering all the effort you just did, all the way to exhaustion. Can’t be helped.” She added, her mood still soured due to the rather rude remark of the former dancer earlier. Nevertheless, she stood up, and tiptoed towards the couple, beginning to stretch one of her legs so high she could kiss her own shin, a testament to her flexibility. She repeated the display with her other leg, before settling down and doing a couple of ballerina, spins, her tail trailing no soon afterwards.

“I believe i can do better.” She added, as she stretched the dance invitation towards Su once more.

Helga was happy to hear Dina’s compliments, and gladly let her dance with Su when requested.
She sat down on a chair and took a sip of tea.

“But can you do as well if you were disguised? I suppose it doesn’t matter.” Su winked at Helga. “Alright Dina, let’s get this out of your system.” She took hold of the feline girl’s hand. “Well? I’m waiting.”

“Why should I handicap myself, when you are the one making such bold remarks? I think not.” Dina said, as she swished her tail alongside her walk, and then gracefully took the remote, switching to a Charleston classical dance. “This is what I used to do with my first… husband.” She said as she took Su in her arms, leading her like a spinning doll, complete with a full flip throw in midair.

“Though I guess, I used to be the one doing the woman’s moves.”

“Oh, I love this type of music. It’s peppy and energetic~” Helga commented as the music came on, and rhythmically tapped her feet as she watched the girls continue their dance.

Su did not possess the same amount of dexterity as she did in years past, but she managed to take everything Dina could throw at her. The spin through the air was accompanied by the whistling of wind. Even untransformed, Su wasn’t totally cut off from her magic.

“You’re used to the woman’s role, you say?” Su landed on her feet in a way that only a trained dancer could manage. “I’m surprised, it’s usually the man’s job to lead. But if you’d prefer to follow, that can be arranged.” Su turned her back to Dina and performed consecutive backflips towards Dina. When Su got close enough, she sprung off the ground into a combination between a flip and an axel. At the peak of her jump, she was entirely upside down, with her head brushing against Dina’s ears. When Su landed, it was difficult to tell if she was in a martial stance or it was some chinese dance choreography. With an arm extended, she waved Dina closer. The universal gesture to “bring it on.”

Dina on her part looked at Su, her ears dropping in disinterest. "Dances are supposed to be peaceful affairs, bringing challenges is surely to just break the mood. What kind of dancer were you?" Dina added. "You may have skill and beauty, but… I would never dance again with someone who issues such a direct challenge." The catgirl said as she began to leave, the crass gesture wearing on her already. "Kindly send your master my gift and regards."

"Thank you for staying at the Golden Trove!" Helga kept smiling as she waved goodbye to Dina.
"We hope you had a pleasant stay!" When the catgirls disappeared from view, she slumped in her seat, looking miffed.

Su lowered her arms as the haughty woman departed. Once Dina had fully departed, she let out an exhausted sigh and picked up the feather. “I don’t think Boteg is going to know what to do with this. He’s always been wary of gifts, but it’s been tenfold after he ate Samantha’s pizza.” The feather vanished into her hammer space. Su looked off in the direction Dina left to. After staring for a bit, she looked back to Helga. “Was I out of line? I thought we were all having fun, but it seems I’ve offended our guest.”

"Well, Su...How should I put this?" She sighed and averted her eyes. "You need to remember the golden rule of the service industry; the customer is always right. I appreciate the fact you stood up on your own, but sometimes you need to have a bit more, um, tact."

“I’m not that bad, am I?”

She turned back to look at Su. "I can take a look at the feather if you want. Bogey would deserve to know that Dina was courteous enough to give him tribute."

“Guess I am.” The feather returned to Su’s hand. “I’m sure it’s harmless. But that hasn’t stopped Boteg from over reacting before.” After handing the feather to Helga, Su walked towards the counter. “I’ve got things covered. You can relax if you want. I’ll have extra tact this time, promise.” She held her hand up so that Helga could see it and crossed her fingers before disappearing behind the threshold of the door.

Helga was left to marvel at the feather, pouting at what happened. "Su can be a bit of an airhead at times...But she's also really cute like that. Aah,I'm terrible…"

The Worst Writing Advice

@Ammokkx Well said my dude.

When I said "every rule you can think of has a time and place where it works and doesn't work." I was saying that you can use "Said."You can also tell instead of show. You can even write what you don't know. If you know what you're doing. That advice was designed for new writers who commonly make those mistakes.

The problem with writing advice is that writing is a complex thing, and important advice is stripped down to a single phrase that can be easily misinterpreted without the rest of the lesson.

Even the bible's lesson to "do unto others as you would like done onto you" isn't entirely accurate. Should I hand my life's savings over to a stranger because I'd like someone to do that to me? NO! You don't do that! Instead you treat everyone around yourself with respect and the good will that you've cultivated will come back to you.

Still not sure what any of this has to do with Bill and Bob's submarine though.

The Worst Writing Advice

Overusing descriptive speech tags is worse than just using said every time. While there are decent alternatives in the list, some of these are pretty ridiculous, like 'crabbed' and 'vociferated' and 'whickered'.

@Roach

Yea, some of the options are pretty retarded. I was more vouching for "You can totally write something without saying said" than "You should get on your hands and knees and worship infographs."

...acknowledges "Said" is a fine word to effectively convey dialogue...

@Ammokkx

Anyway, writing is a very subjective thing and almost every rule you can think of has a time and place where it works and doesn't work... Just like "don't use said."

@BrokenPromise

??????

The Worst Writing Advice

@Ammokkx I actually like to skip said and just describe an action, which works for the most part.

Bill pointed at the stain on the floor. "Who did this?"

Bob looked around with a worried expression on his face. "Uh, the cat!" He stammered.

"The cat?" Bill placed his hands on his hips. "Bob, we don't own a cat!"

"It was a stray cat!" He folded his hands under his chin. "It got inside yesterday!"

"Bob!" Bill stomped hard enough to shake the cabin. "We're in a submarine!"

There are lots of options.

Anyway, writing is a very subjective thing and almost every rule you can think of has a time and place where it works and doesn't work. Just like "show, don't tell," Just like "write what you know," Just like "don't use said."

The Worst Writing Advice

Alright, I feel like I'm going to slay a sacred cow here.

" Show, don't tell." should be changed to " Show and tell."

@Bork Lazer

SDT was always suppose to be a pair of training wheels that you ditched when you learned how to write proper.

"Don't ever use 'said' when a character is speaking."

Sometimes characters just say things. Said is fine. Use it.

@Hero

There are more interesting alternatives TBH.

Darkest Before the Dawn: A CYOA Magical Girl Roleplay [Completed]

”Then again, maybe I won’t.”

— Tonya “Mac” Murphy

Tonya “Mac” Murphy

Age: 24/11 | Gender: Female/Female | Illusion, Gravity
Body | Power of Friendship, Regeneration, Third Eye | Moirai
Coercion, Soul Jar, Martial Training, True Sight, Parasite, Gifted, Awareness, Overcity Shift, Mystic Artifact

Magical Overload, Paragon, Blessing, Gifted Item | Monster Form, Big Brother, Arrogance, Vendetta
Redirected Magic, Second Specialization | Non-Standard Limbs, Destroyer

STR: 05 | AGI: 04 | VIT: 05 | MAG: 03 | LCK: 03
+44
STR: 21 | AGI: 21 | VIT: 21 | MAG: 20 | LCK: 15

Earnings this post:

Remaining: 1 Gold, 14 Silver, 16 Bronze
Total: 8 Gold, 130 Silver, 144 Bronze

How many times was she going to break continuity? How many times was she going to start a scene while taking a shower?

Mac turned off the water and put on her clothes. Waiting for her in the other room was a distrustful Lotus. The octopus woman could have run away, she could have checked up on Faith, but Lotus wasn’t the type to run when she wanted answers. She was not afraid of Mac. If anything, the monster girl expected her to be afraid of the queen of the deep.

”Mmmmmm.” Lotus mused, but said nothing. ”What happened to my adversary?”

Mac hadn’t dried off yet and she was already getting dressed. The apartment was never really designed to accommodate a guest, especially if you were going to shower. If Mac didn’t need it so badly, she probably would have waited. ”Your ‘adversary’ went to blow herself up along with you. A bit extreme given the circumstances, but it seems like everyone around here turns to murder or murder/suicide at the first sign of confrontation. Who thought a bunch of immortal beings could be more childish than their appearances?”

”Mmmmmm. How humiliating.” Lotus fret her brow. ”I almost wish you hadn't interfered. A bomb would do little to my gelatinous body.”

”My boss says otherwise.” Mac sat down at the breakfast table. She wasn't too hungry, so she was just eating some leftover salad from last night's dinner. ”If your opponent wasn't hell bent on sacrificing herself, I would have tried to save you both. Then you could have had your rematch and 'assert your dominance.'” That wasn't exactly truthful. Beacon girls as fanatical as that probably earned a decade or two of death before they rejoined society. ”But being alive just means that you get to fight harder fights, right?”

”Mmmmmm. it would be unfortunate if I never got to defeat Connie's specters.” Lotus nodded in agreement. ”Very well, I forgive you for interfering with our duel.”

”You're welcome for saving your life.”

”Mmmmmm.” Lotus brow became even more crossed. ”I will depart then. I must see Faith soon.”

”Can't let you do that, Lotus.” Mac cleaned her mouth. ”It would be a problem if you started wandering around Penrose. Besides, in a few weeks Faith is going to move north. But it's fine.” She stood up and turned towards the octopus. ”You want to make this about strength, so how about we have a duel in one of Penrose's many parks? I win, you leave, I lose, well, I guess you're free.”

”Mmmmmm, you underestimate me if you think I won't fight to the death.”

”Sure.” Mac knew Lotus's love for her friends trumped her ego, but she probably needed to get her ass kicked in order to see it for herself.

---

“Who loves EXPOSITION?”

— Oros

Oros turned sideways and pulled an entire classroom out from between her breasts. A projection screen, a few seats, a projector (of course), the works. “I’ve got the best hammer space in the cast. Anyway, let’s talk about Schrödinger's Cat, without getting too deep into quantum physics.” She picked up a remote in her hand. “A cat is in a box. Also in the box is a machine that has a 50% chance of releasing a poisonous gas before the box is opened. The gas is 100% lethal to the cat, so it’s pretty edgy and shit. It was originally thought that when the box is closed, the cat is in a superposition between these two possibilities. The cat is alive and dead at the same time, and in opening the box we force reality to collapse on a single possibility. Schrödinger created this thought experiment to show how absurd quantum mechanics were. Then he got dunked on. ” Oros clicked the remote, and the first slide was displayed on the screen.



“When we open the box, we aren’t causing anything to collapse. The two possibilities split off from one another, which create two whole dimensions. One where the cat is alive, and another where it's shit outa luck. That also means that while you may only see one of these realities, there’s another you in a different dimension seeing the other one. And that goes for every choice you can possibly make.” Another click, and the screen changed again.



“These are called parallel dimensions. They’re like our world, but different things happened in them. There are also ‘alternate’ dimensions where all the really weird shit happens. Those don’t look anything like parallel worlds though.”

Aria's head bobbed side to side. "That's nice, but why did you tell me all of this?"

“I was originally going to tell Su from a parallel dimension about it, but then I realized that would cause problems and bring up a lot of questions I didn't feel like answering.” She gestured around herself. “So now we're here.”

"Oh okay." Aria nodded, looking a bit concerned. "Did you want to buy anything?"

“Yes.”

"What would you li-"

“But I have no money.” Oros loaded up everything into her hammer space and walked out of the shop.

---

Cradle.net	Update # 537
Trix N Traps Top Manager Last seen 2 hrs ago BillyKillsMikaBillyKillsMika	I got back from the rave. THAT WAS NOT MY IDEA OF A FUN TIME! Veronica usually has me wait a bit before declassifying information, so today I’m going to talk to you as a magical girl going to see her fans at the rave instead of a Cradle Agent. It was a DEATH TRAP! The rave was filled up with smoke and explosions, I escaped to the park, only to stumble upon the mint MURDERING Cindy Ford, and then when we returned to the rave to deal with a MONSTER QUEEN, the Ascendancy tried to ROUND US UP AND EXECUTE US AFTERWARDS! Don’t believe your sweet Trixy could have such a bad date? You don’t have to! Unlike my duel with the Contender, my phone didn’t break this time! So expect to see the footage of that uploaded real soon. I gotta warn you though, it’s quite violent! Not for the faint of heart! EDIT: Alright, so the smoke means the first part of the rave video is pretty much audio only. But the rest should be good! EDIT2: So the katamari ball technique I used might have obstructed the video a bit. A lot a bit actually. EDIT3: So it turns out my phone doesn’t do well in low light areas like an underground rave with no power. You know what? I’ll just upload a picture of the murderer’s face from the video. If anyone knows who this guy is, let us know. I’m pretty sure he’s Mint. www.Magipix.com/Trixy/butt_head_who_ate_Cindy
Trix N Traps Top Manager Last seen 2 hrs ago BillyKillsMikaBillyKillsMika	Has anyone seen Betty? I’m kind of worried, it looks like she’s been offline for 10 hours. Did she get sick?
Medi Girl Agent Online BillyKillsMikaBillyKillsMika	Didn’t someone tell you?
Blair Agent Online BillyKillsMikaBillyKillsMika	This probably isn’t the place to say this, but we lost one in the field today.
Trix N Traps Top Manager Last seen 2 hrs ago BillyKillsMikaBillyKillsMika	Is this a joke?
Medi Girl Agent Online BillyKillsMikaBillyKillsMika	Now Trixy’s offline. I’ll see if I can find her.
BrokenPromise Visitor Online BillyKillsMikaBillyKillsMika

Danganronpa: Tower of Carnage (Finished!)

Links have been handed out.

Let's make this excellent.