The more you weigh, the harder you are to kidnap. Stay safe. Eat cake.
4
likes
29 days ago
Theoretically you could just hire a hit man to kill both your parents and then inherit their money and their house and buy a bat house and become Batman
1
like
30 days ago
The HOA literally said that I can’t have two cars when literally everyone in the neighborhood has two cars
Bio
I had a one night stand with your mother and now I’m your father and I don’t wanna pay child support
“All you have in comedy, in general, is just going with your instincts. You can only hope that other people think that what you think is funny is funny. I don't have an answer but I just try to plough straight ahead”-Will Ferrell
Also here’s the story of my life:
Me currently:
Also me:
Anyway if you want know stuff about me here’s some thangs: well for one I fuckin love horror rps, mystery, hell I might even be down for a Scooby Doo rp,
2: I love slasher flims and horror games and I LOVE comedy shows and movies.
3: I am 29 years old yeah I know you thought I was like 14, I’m down for role playing with teenagers but not like kid teenagers well it ranges from 16 to fuckin 40 something BUT NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES SMUT cuz that shits disgusting I MEAN THIS IS A WEBSITE.
Also if you disrespect my dog Cleo I will come to you house and shit in your cereal and then murder your entire family. But seriously if you talk shit about him I will completely disregard guild rules and make you wish you never came out the womb.
Also I’m very serious about rping but not so serious outside of that
AND I’m a extremely big fan of Smii7Y since he’s the fucking “goat”
Also I’m gay for Rick grimes and Andrew Lincoln BUT STRICTLY STRAIGHT
Name: Sam Witwicky ( or Ladiesman217 if you really count that) Age: 21 Gender/Pronouns: Male (he/him) Appearance:
Personality:
Agitation: Sam can be angry, irritated, and anxious. Stubbornness: Sam's Id contributes to his stubbornness. Bravery: Sam's Ego contributes to his brave and rational actions. Caring: Sam's Superego contributes to his caring and loving actions. Willingness to sacrifice: Sam's Superego contributes to his willingness to sacrifice.
By the time of the 11th grade, (junior in high school) what Sam really wanted as a way to get a girlfriend was a nice car. After presumably asking for one to his father, Ron Witwicky, Ron told Sam that he had to earn $2,000 and 3 A's. By the time of the day he had to give his genealogy report in front of his history class, he had already gotten the money and 2/3 A's. He gave his presentation, regaling his classmates with the story of his great-great-grandfather, Captain Archibald Witwicky, who took 41 sailors into the Arctic Shelf in the year 1897 as part of the National Arctic Circle Expedition. There, he discovered what he called a "giant ice man", and was later locked away in a mental institution because of his ramblings and drawing strange Cybertronian symbols everywhere. After class let out, Sam asked his teacher what the grade was, to which he replied that it was a "solid B-". This disappointed Sam, who, after some verbal arm-twisting, persuaded his history teacher to increase the grade to an A-. Sam ran out to his father's car happily, and soon enough they were headed to a car lot. After a practical joke regarding buying Sam a Porsche, Ron drove them to the real place where they would purchase Sam's car: Bolivia's Finest Quality Used Cars and Petting Zoo, which upon seeing, Sam was disappointed. However, after some talking and dealing with Bobby Bolivia, Sam eventually bought a 1976 Chevrolet Camaro, mostly due to the fact that he was all out of options, considering that every other vehicle in the lot had its windows blown out.
Alt-modes (Only for Transformers): N/A Abilities: Sam is a very smart young man who uses his intelligence to his advantage.
Sam is a skilled detective who was able to analyze a manifesto from Jerry Wing that contained information about the dark side of the moon.
Sam is a capable fighter who was able to briefly hold off against the Decepticon Frenzy. He was also able to subdue a sector 7 soldier armed with a nitrogen gun.
Sam is athletically strong, fast, and resilient. He was able to go into war zones despite failing to try out for football in high school.
Sam has peak human durability, as he was able to recover quickly after being hit into the windshield of a car by Barricade.
Weapons: Sam is skilled with weapons made from Cybertronian technology.
Wheeljack/Que gives Sam a prototype grapple glove, which he uses to blind Starscream in the eye.
Wheeljack/Que also gives Sam prototype boomstick explosives, which he uses to destroy Starscream's head and most of his chest.
Sam also has connections to military personnel allies, which he uses to plan strategies and tactics to stop the Decepticons.
I had a one night stand with your mother and now I’m your father and I don’t wanna pay child support
“All you have in comedy, in general, is just going with your instincts. You can only hope that other people think that what you think is funny is funny. I don't have an answer but I just try to plough straight ahead”-Will Ferrell
[img]https://img.roleplayerguild.com/prod/users/049bc7d1-f615-41a3-9107-52eae921d6db.jpg[/img]
Also here’s the story of my life:
[img]https://img.roleplayerguild.com/prod/users/52f5ce9b-e81e-4a44-8a1e-e90e835dc8c0.jpg[/img]
Me currently:
[img]https://img.roleplayerguild.com/prod/users/c10c7df7-6a1d-4858-929c-6fc3cdd111d3.jpg[/img]
Also me:
[img]https://img.roleplayerguild.com/prod/users/a688a5a9-83d6-4c6f-bf3c-0bc71aa0b485.jpg[/img]
Anyway if you want know stuff about me here’s some thangs: well for one I fuckin love horror rps, mystery, hell I might even be down for a Scooby Doo rp,
2: I love slasher flims and horror games and I LOVE comedy shows and movies.
3: I am 29 years old yeah I know you thought I was like 14, I’m down for role playing with teenagers but not like kid teenagers well it ranges from 16 to fuckin 40 something BUT NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES SMUT cuz that shits disgusting I MEAN THIS IS A WEBSITE.
Also if you disrespect my dog Cleo I will come to you house and shit in your cereal and then murder your entire family. But seriously if you talk shit about him I will completely disregard guild rules and make you wish you never came out the womb.
Also I’m very serious about rping but not so serious outside of that
AND I’m a extremely big fan of Smii7Y since he’s the fucking “goat”
Also I’m gay for Rick grimes and Andrew Lincoln BUT STRICTLY STRAIGHT
Anyway that’s all you absolute clowns
<div style="white-space:pre-wrap;">I had a one night stand with your mother and now I’m your father and I don’t wanna pay child support <br><br>“All you have in comedy, in general, is just going with your instincts. You can only hope that other people think that what you think is funny is funny. I don't have an answer but I just try to plough straight ahead”-Will Ferrell <br><br><img src="https://img.roleplayerguild.com/prod/users/049bc7d1-f615-41a3-9107-52eae921d6db.jpg" /><br><br>Also here’s the story of my life: <br><img src="https://img.roleplayerguild.com/prod/users/52f5ce9b-e81e-4a44-8a1e-e90e835dc8c0.jpg" /><br><br>Me currently:<br><br><img src="https://img.roleplayerguild.com/prod/users/c10c7df7-6a1d-4858-929c-6fc3cdd111d3.jpg" /><br><br>Also me:<br><br><img src="https://img.roleplayerguild.com/prod/users/a688a5a9-83d6-4c6f-bf3c-0bc71aa0b485.jpg" /><br><br>Anyway if you want know stuff about me here’s some thangs: well for one I fuckin love horror rps, mystery, hell I might even be down for a Scooby Doo rp, <br><br>2: I love slasher flims and horror games and I LOVE comedy shows and movies.<br><br>3: I am 29 years old yeah I know you thought I was like 14, I’m down for role playing with teenagers but not like kid teenagers well it ranges from 16 to fuckin 40 something BUT NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES SMUT cuz that shits disgusting I MEAN THIS IS A WEBSITE.<br><br>Also if you disrespect my dog Cleo I will come to you house and shit in your cereal and then murder your entire family. But seriously if you talk shit about him I will completely disregard guild rules and make you wish you never came out the womb.<br><br>Also I’m very serious about rping but not so serious outside of that <br><br>AND I’m a extremely big fan of Smii7Y since he’s the fucking “goat” <br><br>Also I’m gay for Rick grimes and Andrew Lincoln BUT STRICTLY STRAIGHT <br><br>Anyway that’s all you absolute clowns <br><br></div>