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9 yrs ago
Sometimes, even an adventurer needs a backrub.
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That's the joke, yes.
  • Name: Jack Delacroix
  • Age: 37
  • Gender: Male
  • Appearance: "People tell me I look like the extremely talented, handsome, well-endowed man who stole the Declaration of Independence. I don't really see it."
  • Personality: Jack was always a little off. But the effects of the mind-expanding drugs that made him a psychic as part of CIA experiments with ESP have had their toll on his stability. To hear his coworkers tell it, Jack is less a man and more some kind of fore of nature. However, this is a gross exaggeration, as between building a chainsaw railgun to kill Blacula and launching werewolves into the sun, he's just the office clown. He's friendly with interns, he hazes new hires, he messes with the e-mail server. The thing his employers care about is that he's EFFECTIVE.
  • Equipment: A silenced desert eagle, chewing gum, flasks, chocolate, salt, holy water, soybeans, a cell phone, and a pair of comfortable shoes. It is believed he has a moonshining setup and chemistry lab somewhere in the JSSDF's offices, but nobody's been able to find it.
  • Abilities: Jack is mildly psychic (and to hear some tell it, mildly psychotic). This is to say, he knows things that will happen soon (within the next 15 seconds), can read people's intentions, and use telekinesis to perform gunplay straight out of a John Woo movie. Extrapolating from the list of warnings from the MIB, he is also capable of accepting souls, memories, and pieces of a person's past as payment, spinning gold from straw, and violating the laws of causality.
  • Skills: Jack is a master chemist, bureaucrat, and moonshiner. He's a trained marksman, able to reliably perform trick shots at 50 paces. Despite his apparent lack of academic training, he speaks at least four languages- including English, German, Sumerian, and Japanese.
  • Brief Backstory:Much of the file the US Department of American Liasons to International and External National Surveys gave the JSSDF on Jack is classified. There's nothing about his family, nothing about his job before joining the CIA. What can be confirmed is that he wasn't born in the United States, he was expelled from no less than fourteen schools, and eventually became a government spook. The details of the experiment that made him a psychic are mostly classified, but a mind-expanding substance was used to bring a number of subjects closer to a hyper-aware state. Given his employment status with the CIA, it was easy to get him transferred to the US Department of A.L.I.E.N.S. for observation.

    Through surprising skill in bureaucracy juggling, he was moved to active duty as an agent. Over the course of his career, it can be confirmed that he:
    -Killed Blacula
    -Made an offensive crop circle for the express purpose of antagonizing Martians
    -Stole a leprechaun's lucky charms
    -Went back in time and tampered with the blueprints to the Ford Pinto, resulting in a car he can reliably shoot to destroy
    -Stole at least two government documents to prove the security was awful
    -Invented the Trabant II, the worst, most generic, and only completely biodegradable car in all of history
    -captured the Salmon of Wisdom
    -Filled out three days worth of paperwork in half an hour

    There is a much longer list, but the incident that got him transferred to Okinawa was when he was stalking Mariana Estranova, Bride of the Midnight, an elder vampire preying on the homeless of Detroit. The details are sketchy, but apparently Jack seduced the woman in order to catch her off guard. He is vehement that it had nothing to do with the Eastern European accent, classy bearing, and slinky red dress. Regardless, she did get staked in the end, and her ashes scattered about the Vatican. For now, Jack's settling in to an office that's a little less prepared for his brand of efficiency.
  • Allegiance: The US Department of American Liasons to International and External National Surveys (the extremely bland and obvious cover name for the Men In Black of conspiracy theory fame), working with the Outbreak Agency due to the Mutual Security Treaty of 1951.
28 point buy.


Imagine a universe where square worlds spin around gemstone suns. Where planets lie cradled in the roots of an oak tree so vast its leaves twirl around brightly burning suns. Where ships of wood sail the void between worlds, and battle each other with catapult and ballista, spell and sword. Where an asteroid may be a safe harbor, a slaver's den, or a hungry creature eager to devour any that pass by. Where daring swashbucklers and scoundrels race for fantastic treasures and literally touch the stars. Where terrifying beasts with the power to destroy whole worlds roam.

Spelljammer was originally conceived as another setting for Advanced Dungeons and Dragons, but instead of making yet another stand-alone setting, Spelljammer was designed to link together all of the settings of the time into a single universe. Or perhaps multiple unified universes, because each setting has its own Ptolemaic universe, called a Sphere. All of the various Spheres float within a space called The Flow, filled entirely with a substance known as Philostigon. Philostigon is gaseous, highly flammable, rainbow-colored, cannot exist within a Sphere, and non-soluble in water. This means you can play as a character from just about any established D&D setting- though Ravenloft is set in the demiplane of dread (and is thus off-limits), and Athas (the setting of Dark Sun) has been blockaded by Gith pirates for centuries.

This is a 3.5e D&D campaign, starting at fifth level. Given the eclectic, cosmic clusterfuck that is Spelljammer, I'm allowing pretty much any WOTC-published source if you run it by me first. Just remember that something led you to accept a contract to work for an eccentric dwarven mercenary company that hops around the cosmos.
I don't really think The Duke could abandon his city.

Name: Joe Gibson
Sex: Male
Appearance: TBD
Concept: A junker from the pre-apocalyptic post-apocalyptic ruins of Detroit. A scavenger for the Duke of Detroit, sovereign lord of Proto-Neo-Detroit, Joe has lived his whole life among roaring engines. During a dive in Lake Erie in search of a crashed Chinese satellite which the Duke thought would make a bitchin' hood ornament for his Hyperlimo, Joe discovered a massive underwater complex. Turns out this was the sunken giant robot, Cosmolossus, which registered Joe as its entire 500-man skeleton crew.

Skills:
Face: 2
-Charm: 0
-Bluff: 0
-Putdown: 3

Brain: 3
-Notice: 1
-Out-Think: 1
-Remember: 1

Hands: 4
-Punch: 2
-Block: 2
-Engineer: 3

Guts: 4
-Courage: 1
-Wind:
-Wrestling: 1

Feet: 2
-Dodge: 0
-Kick: 0
-Athletics: 0

Relationships: You have six points to distribute.
- Proto-Neo-Detroit (3): His hometown, he saw it go from a crime-filled husk of industry before the Great Traffic Jam to reclaim its former glory as Motor City.
- The Duke of Detroit (3): A truly inspirational figure, he lifted Detroit back to a state above and beyond the rest of Michigan after the apocalyptic Great Traffic Jam of 20XX. His ideals of industrial power, the comraderie of grease monkeys, bitchin' wheels, guitar solos, and the love of the open road are the governing principles of Motor City.

Mecha:
Name: Cosmolossus, The Master of Hyuj
Appearance:

Origin: Cosmolossus was once the transforming flagship of the galaxy-spanning Empire of Hyuj, a symbol of their glory and superiority in spaceborne combat. Of course, the ship wasn't designed to ever land, and when a life support malfunction forced the crew to make a controlled crash landing on Earth 65 million years ago, the resulting impact created a large crater beneath what is now Lake Erie. The stranded crew made their way west, where they eventually evolved into Sasquatch. Much of Cosmolossus' functionality is lost due to corrosion- the Cosmo Cannon's radiation collectors are crusted over. After eons of decay, it has exactly one remaining advantage- its overwhelming size.
Theme: youtu.be/pAUiRwqpaG4
Size: 5
Finishing Move: Cosmic Crush- just reaches out and squishes the foe
Hit Locations:

Torso & Head: 1-4, 10 points
-Defend (Soaking Hits)
-Attack (Cosmic Splash)
-Size x3
-Tough x4
-Strong x2

Arms: 3 (5-7), 8 points
-Attack (Cosmic Pressure)
-Size x3
-Splash x1
-Strong x1
-Tough x2

Legs: 3 (8-10), 7 points
-Useful (leg thrusters, transformation)
-Size x3
-Fast x2
-Tough x2
Fallen Trinity isn't the GM, people. Ignore anything they say about the system.

Name: Joe Gibson
Sex: Male
Appearance: TBD
Concept: A junker from the pre-apocalyptic post-apocalyptic ruins of Detroit. A scavenger for the Duke of Detroit, sovereign lord of Proto-Neo-Detroit, Joe has lived his whole life among roaring engines. During a dive in Lake Erie in search of a crashed Chinese satellite which the Duke thought would make a bitchin' hood ornament for his Hyperlimo, Joe discovered a massive underwater complex. Turns out this was the sunken giant robot, Cosmolossus, which registered Joe as its entire 500-man skeleton crew.

Skills:
Face: 2
-Charm: 0
-Bluff: 0
-Putdown: 3

Brain: 3
-Notice: 1
-Out-Think: 1
-Remember: 1

Hands: 4
-Punch: 2
-Block: 2
-Engineer: 3

Guts: 4
-Courage: 1
-Wind:
-Wrestling: 1

Feet: 2
-Dodge: 0
-Kick: 0
-Athletics: 0

Relationships: You have six points to distribute.
- Proto-Neo-Detroit (3): His hometown, he saw it go from a crime-filled husk of industry before the Great Traffic Jam to reclaim its former glory as Motor City.
- The Duke of Detroit (3): A truly inspirational figure, he lifted Detroit back to a state above and beyond the rest of Michigan after the apocalyptic Great Traffic Jam of 20XX. His ideals of industrial power, the comraderie of grease monkeys, bitchin' wheels, guitar solos, and the love of the open road are the governing principles of Motor City.

Mecha:
Name: Cosmolossus, The Master of Hyuj
Appearance:

Origin: Cosmolossus was once the transforming flagship of the galaxy-spanning Empire of Hyuj, a symbol of their glory and superiority in spaceborne combat. Of course, the ship wasn't designed to ever land, and when a life support malfunction forced the crew to make a controlled crash landing on Earth 65 million years ago, the resulting impact created a large crater beneath what is now Lake Erie. The stranded crew made their way west, where they eventually evolved into Sasquatch. Much of Cosmolossus' functionality is lost due to corrosion- the Cosmo Cannon's radiation collectors are crusted over. After eons of decay, it has exactly one remaining advantage- its overwhelming size.
Theme: youtu.be/pAUiRwqpaG4
Size: 5
Finishing Move: Cosmic Crush- just reaches out and squishes the foe
Hit Locations:

Torso & Head: 1-4, 10 points
-Defend (Soaking Hits)
-Attack (Cosmic Splash)
-Size x3
-Tough x4
-Strong x2

Arms: 3 (5-7), 8 points
-Attack (Cosmic Pressure)
-Size x3
-Splash x1
-Strong x1
-Tough x2

Legs: 3 (8-10), 7 points
-Useful (leg thrusters, transformation)
-Size x3
-Fast x2
-Tough x2
I got an idea for an OG machine. The sole gimmick is being huge, though.
Looking the girl over, Haruki spoke up.

"So, I feel it bears asking, so we know where to go from here. You've got an unnatural hair color, you've got those huge shiny fisheyes that seem to go past the sides of your head."

Haruki inhaled, putting his hands together and pointing them toward Ruukoto, asking the hard questions.

"Are you an alien too, or just part of whatever subculture's popular among girls your age this week?"
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