ColdAtlas

Last Comment Wins!

indeed

Onward -A No Man's Sky ARG-

I might add in his reflections of home every once in a while

Onward -A No Man's Sky ARG-

@ZerothI tried to build some background for the main character in this entry, I tried to use some of your advice!

Onward -A No Man's Sky ARG-

Day 3//
Streaks of light fill my vision as I warp out of the system. I sit there for a few minutes, watching the light show as my thoughts turn to home.

I grew up on a farm in one of the outer colonies. Our planet was called Obraxis, a lush planet covered in fertile fields. Almost the whole planet was a farming community. We had a small family of just Mom, Dad, and me. Dad was always somewhat distant, but I always knew he cared about us. Mom was a tough woman, strong-willed and sharp-minded.

I worked on our farm since I was six, helping manage the large automated harvesters that wandered grain fields. My mother taught me to work with machinery, while my dad always preferred old-fashioned hands-on work with the animals. I worked with them there till the age of 30. Farm life would never be enough for me, I wanted to do something new, something incredible. Dad was pissed when I decided to join the Obraxis Space Administration, but my mom loved the idea of her boy going from star to star. Eventually, she convinced him and I went into training.

The training was brutal. I’ve been told that our space program had more requirements than our military, honestly, I believe it. I was eventually assigned to the Second Exploratory Wing. When it came time to say goodbye to my lifelong home, I said goodbye to Mom, but Dad didn’t show. Honestly, I don’t blame him. I was leaving behind everything I had ever known, including my family. He was losing his son, who wouldn’t be torn apart? I remember giving Mom that last hug goodbye. The tears in her eyes. Tears of pride, tears of fear, tears of hope for my future. I hope they’re still out there, tending their fields and watching the stars, hoping their son is out there looking back. I hope Dad forgave me…
That was three years ago now, and as I look at the stars streaking by I dream of home, knowing it's dreaming of me.

Cool Sci-Fi Stuff

bump

Returning Writing! Howdy

Welcome back comrade

Looking for a RP

Yep! Though I mayyy have to wait till tomorrow. I need to get some work done rq

Cool Sci-Fi Stuff

I reaaaaly wanna do some cool stuff with robots. Something interesting could be a society of the near future with robots integrated into it (something "Detroit: Become Human"-like) Or a robot apocalypse! Always fun. Human/robot conflict can always be interesting.

Looking for a RP

yknow what this reminds me of? An old book series I loved called Lockwood & Co. I might try to do something like that in the future.

I think a modern fantasy would work :)

Onward -A No Man's Sky ARG-

Thanks for the feedback! That's super helpful! For the first two comments I didn't notice my typos lol, and "seeks" was meant to be "seeps"

I'll definitely look into that book you spoke of and thanks for the examples of better ways to add more character to it.
I'm gonna put work into that character development and hopefully that will help bring them to life.
once again thanks though, as getting helpful advice like this is exactly why I started this learning experience :D