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Recent Statuses

3 days ago
Current I'm about to be banished for the good of the realm again. Where is the trust in this world, I ask you?
1 like
7 mos ago
I'm sorry, you've reached his personal secretary, Department of Shrubbery, Floor 64, Desk 1024. How can we help you today?
9 mos ago
Or buy a van or a used rental truck. Something nobody would look twice at. You can put in a rack for the rope, duct tape, plastic sheeting, shovels....
9 mos ago
Never trust a car salesman - especially a used car salesman. Have a buddy park across the street and see how many stuffed body bags you can shove in there. Gotta have room for plastic sheeting, etc.
1 like
9 mos ago
Neil Gaiman wrote in his Good Omens bio that he likes it when fans send him $50. (He read Terry Pratchett's bio and figured it wouldn't hurt.)

Bio

I am a seven-foot tall minecraft-playing hindu guru drag-queen alien.

Possessor of an Ancient Device™ Model 17. No, I don't know what it does. No, you can't play with it.

Pronouns: It. As in: "What is it? What does it want? Why is it here? Oh my god, it's got my... <insert random body part or object here>"

Likes: World Domination, Writing, Rpg, scifi/fantasy, anime, sketchup 3d models, and anime music videos.

Companions: a host of characters from other games, my personal muse Penny (as in Bad), and the Badger gang - Toothpick, Buttons, Shark, and Mongo. They grew up in the balcony of an old theatre that played a lot of gangster movies. Normally benign, but may invade the OOC forums.

Most Recent Posts

@Zapdos

<Snipped quote by Expendable>

I'm kinda confused, though I admit that could be from all the CSes I've been reading. Why is her magic sealed and how did a random mage make a dark elf baby from two humans? That could be an iffy thing due to some of stuff for the royals I have planned.


The dark elf enchantress cast the spell on the prince to make him think she was his bride. The enchantress is the one who gave birth to Cailin.

Her magic is sealed because she's a dark elf who's been raised by a wizard, and they don't want to take any chances (nor did he). Perhaps they think she's an assassin? Or possibly another dark elf prisoner managed to remove their seal and left behind a trail of corpses? There's always the possibility it's there to prevent her being removed from her intended prison by magic? Not a lot of trust in the kingdoms for Dark Elves.

I don't want to mess up your royals, so what if she's from a nearby kingdom (not necessarily next door) and the guards (perhaps bribed by a court official) brought her to this kingom's prison mine to make some extra money? Your kingdom has a port, yes?




Or if you like, I can swap her out for a goblin rogue, formerly a member of a circus that was forced to close when a lord bought up all the debts and foreclosed on them. He was after the ringmaster's young daughter, but she managed to escape. The lord accused the circus people as trying to conspire against him, and they all got locked up, and the goblin got sent to the mines?

And no, he would not have sent the ringmaster's young daughter to the mines.
@Zapdos - for your consideration.

J'eon the Blacksmith

J'eon eyed the tree before him, then carefully knocked.
"If you're awake," he rumbled, "And aware of me, I come for a branch."

Getting no response, the blacksmith took hold of a stout sucker limb growing from the tree's base and chopped it off in one blow.

The tree... did not react. J'eon sighs in relief, then pricked one of his digits, pressing the small bead of blood into the fresh cut wood.

"I thank you for this sacrifice."

Picking up the newly chopped limb, J'eon began to decend towards the encampment below.

"Ah," he sighs when he sees a small troop of Glen approaching from the other side. "What brings him out...?"




Jack Mallory, X.O.


"Silbermine's approaching?" Jack demanded, the cameras swiveling around to capture the Glen lordling with his escorts.

"Wodan, please check to see if there are more Glen coming this way?"
WIP



Original concept was he's a shapechanger, but I decided that was too much. He'll need to disguise himself on many worlds, I'm sure.
Hmmm, so like the ship sees this weird-looking tent (a fabric lifepod) with parachutes floating down from the sky to splash down near them. When they send a boat over, inside they find this strange little man who speaks some strange tongue very rapidly, then a weird disembodied voice talks to them, then the same strange voice speaks rapidly back to the man. Apparently, he wants to be taken to your leader?

He manages to snatch up a survival kit - and either the contents are lost during the shipwreck, or what he found inside was a pen and a bunch of order forms for each item that was supposed to be in the kit?

Or perhaps I could play a half-human / half-elf rogue, thief brand on her hand, still pallid from her recent release from a prison. She was knocked unconscious and shanghaied aboard the ship to be released at their next port of call. (someone really didn't want her going home)
Jack Mallory, X.O.


"So," Mallory said, glancing at his phone for the passenger record. "You are...?"
"Thorleif Hedstrom," the man replied.
"I thought I was the one who was sore?" Mallory said with a chuckle, glancing up at a very confused solar farm engineer furling his eyebrows. "Ah, right. Sorry. So, we need some way of generating more power for the Jo'. If we could come up with power, we could crank up one of the fabricators and make more panels. But until then, we need someone to help set up the first ones we make ourselves."
"I was in sales," Thorleif said. "I'd measure and plan the layout, I didn't put them up!"
"But you've got to have some idea..?"
"Just enough to answer fool questions," the solar engineer replied, leaning back and crossing his arms.

"Great..." Jack signed, scratching his head.

Jack Mallory, X.O.


"Okay," Jack says, talking over the hum of the crowd in the Mess Hall. "I'm Jack Mallory, the executive officer aboard the Jo'. I know most of you weren't expecting to find yourself having to take cover aboard the ship, and this ship winding up... wherever we are."

Jack sighs, then turns back to them.

"So, we're in an emergency situation here, and even though you didn't want to be here, we need your help until we can find a way home."

And let's not tell them how remote that's looking to be.

"So, we need to know what skills you have, so we can all work towards getting out of here."
Second round.

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