Avatar of Fetzen

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17 days ago
Current You gotta beat the cycle with simultaneity: Write a collab about how the world of your RP shall look like. The cycle should make you run at 300% effectivity then.
2 likes
23 days ago
There are indications of probable impending mass layoffs at the company I work for, or alternatively significant work time reduction. Let's see if I still have a job and can pay my bills soon.
2 likes
29 days ago
If the cost of dying goes up to the point I can't afford it anymore, does this make me immortal ? And if I can't afford the cost of living either, do I turn undead ?
1 like
29 days ago
Why not create one of your own, Poo ? Is this something only ordinary users are allowed to ? ;)
1 like
1 mo ago
Can anybody confirm that the font (or its size) used for the tags beneath interest checks and roleplays has slightly changed ? I hope it's not just my eyes ;-)
1 like

Bio


Welcome to my profile page!


Who the hell is this person behind those many miles of fiber optics and copper cable ?

  • I'm a 34 year old guy.
  • ... who's working as a software developer
  • ... and enjoys roleplaying as a casual hobby to distract himself from ongoing stress


And into which hell will I descend with you participating in one of my roleplays?

  • I'm a fantasy addict: medieval high and low!
  • I'd consider myself to be a low casual roleplayer, 3 paragraphs per post on average.
  • My schedule varies. It might happen that I won't be able to post at all for a week, but then again it might happen that I'll reach a sweet spot inside which I can go on a posting rampage. I'd say one can expect 1-2 posts a week from me, depending on the lengths involved.
  • English is not my native language, but so far I've not encountered anyone who had had trouble with me over that :)


Want to RP with me ? Shoot me a PM, but don't shoot me!



Thanks for visiting!

Most Recent Posts





Had Týfurkh ever expressed his admiration for Chres' illusions ? He could not remember any such occasion, so that was something to be added to his later to-do list. For now however there was no time for such things as time indeed was of the essence. With clanking armor that would not do good in any stealthy situation close to hostiles he stepped out and took cover behind a nearby arrangement of wooden crates, searching for a gap two stacks that was small enough not to be seen from further away, but large enough for him to do his magic.

"Guards! Over here!"

He, Chres, Karina and everyone else nearby would be able to hear a quite commanding, male voice that seemed to come from one of the embrasures of the wall. Týfurkh moved his mouth as if he was shouting, yet his own position emitted nothing but silence.

"Hurry! We got trouble!"

This time it came from one of the adjacent embrasures, a little less loudly as it already was further away from their current position and leading away from it. Týfurkh was not targeting the guards directly, but instead his magic hit the wall and caused an echo that concealed the voice's true origin, making it possible to believe that indeed a higher ranking soldier was running along one of the tunnels in the wall and giving orders to his subordinates who were standing outside whenever there was a slit in the wall to shout through.

"Let's see if this works. I could try to acoustically blow up something over there but maybe it will take some time for them to realize that this is a false alarm anyway."

The last words, of course, were in his normal voice and directed towards his companions.
So, there's no room in the inn, and we have to sleep in the barn with the animals instead...

Are we about to witness the birth of Christ?


We could influence those events in a way that parts of the bible need to be re-written!

*psst* Hey, Jesus! Keep away from the romans! You're going to be nailed, you will die and a few months later you will become the most prominent and revered revenant of the world!

Speaking of which... would you like to do a collab or shall we post one by one ?
Of elves high and low


A collab between Greenie & Fetzen




Valenwood... If he had not been forced to live here for a number of years that was increasingly laborious to count Vraurdoin's Altmeri nature would have burst out in a fit of displeasure. The air ? Who said that one needed stone or wood in order to build something... It felt as if some kind of sadist had cast a spell aeons ago in order to turn it into an infinite pile of invisible bricks so thick it was. The water ? No need to worry about a lack of it, but there was an important distinction between just 'water' and 'drinkable water'. He didn't want to scorn the infrastructure of his elven brothers, but even in the finest offices it had always felt as if no amount of reservoirs and piping could ever eliminate that certain taste of it. The taste of the morass. Maybe those born here were immune to it, but he certainly wasn't. And then the roads or rather the lack of them. On one hand he silently admired those living here for still being able to have an economy here, but on the other hand everything was crying out 'Inefficiency!' towards him.

None of this was to be heard off Vraurdoin though. Whenever those thoughts came crawling up into his consciousness en masse he tried to hammer them back down into the abyss they belonged to. He still was some sort of guest here, not anyone to criticize things harshly. And perhaps he had just stayed in those fine offices for too long and forgotten that things weren't totally bright when one had to live on the street on the Summerset Isles either.

He had heard of the festival and decided to join it. Yes, a big crowd with many opportunities for spies and other sorts of attentive people to hide in and watch, but also just as many opportunities for him to blend in and remain unknown. Well... as good as someone of his stature could blend in anywhere anyway. Vraurdoin had dressed himself in his second set of everyday clothes, the one that hadn't become completely dirty over the course of the past few days. A white linen shirt, gray-ish trousers of similar making and a pair of simple leather boots would have to suffice.

As he wandered along the edge of the crowd, absently chewing upon a straw of grass he had picked up somewhere, his eyes already focused on the tables bristling with food. So much of it! Even if it contained ugly water... he couldn't resist. Patience was demanded however if one didn't want to push people aside in order to get through quicker.

"Quite a crowd, yes? This one thinks it must be as much a task for one as tall as yourself to easily make way through as it would for her." The statement came from not too far away, voiced by a small, olive skinned bosmer in a green and blue tunic, along with subtle face marking. Nimriell had been standing at the edge of the crowd, leaning against one of the many trees surrounding them. She had been contemplating another snack when her bright eyes caught sight of the Altmer. Not that he wouldn't have been noticeable as he towered over her, even at distance. Even among Bosmer she was considered a bit smaller than usual, and it certainly was the same with her khajiit family, so she was quite used to it.

"This one is Nimriell," she offered with a curve of her lips. From his attire, it seemed to her that he had probably visited Valenwood before- she had seen other less prepared people who would dress in highly inappropriate clothes for the hot and humid weather that had to be endured in the jungles. "Would this one be wrong in guessing you've been here before?"

This one ? It was a minor subtlety, but it stroke Vraurdoin’s attention. Didn’t only Khajiit speak about themselves this way ? The Altmer turned his head to look at the woman from more than just the corner of his eyes, but that didn’t change anything about the fact she clearly was a Bosmer as well. He decided against addressing this observation right away, saving it for a later moment instead. For now Vraurdoin struggled with the idea of crouching down in order to spare them both craning their necks, but it just seemed to be a little too awkward.

“Greetings, Nimriell. I am Vraurdoin and yes, I’ve in fact been living in Valenwood for quite a while by now.” That was the truth, but not a very specific one. It was perfectly safe to tell so much he thought. Maybe he should just relax. “It’s my first visit to this festival though. How about you ?”

"A little embarrassing but it is this one's first time at this festival as well," the Bosmer admitted with a nod, casting a glance at the crowd by the food stalls. "Nimriell had passed through before, but never long enough to actually enjoy the sights and sounds." She nodded towards a merchant's tent, making note of what was being sold before looking at Vraurdoin once more. "This one's family were travelling merchants, Baandari; we didn't stay in one place for too long."

She was quite curious why an Altmer might have been living in Valenwood. An emissary from Summerset perhaps? A wandering scholar? Perhaps a merchant? She was an open book herself, but from experience she knew that many wouldn't like pointed questions like that. "Whereabouts in Valenwood have you been? This one was born in Reaper's March but lived mostly in Malabal Tor."

“I think I’ve never been so far to the Northwest. I come from pretty much the opposite corner, Grahtwood. I decided to settle over to Valenwood because I wanted to get to know the world, but as you might have already guessed I spent most of my time here so far on… learning the culture ?” His face produced a slight smile and grin. “Sometimes the environment here is a little harsh to us Altmeri people.” Yes, that was an acceptable cover story and it wasn’t even completely a lie.

So she was associated very much with the Khajiit then ? He didn’t know all too much about those, but that only helped to boost his curiosity. “Aren’t the Baandari some sort of Khajiit traders or the like ? Excuse me, I don’t know that much. How does it come that you ended up with the Khajiit ? You even speak like one sometimes!” Part of him already wanted to try the impossible and call back his spoken words, full of fear that they might be too provocative.

"Ah, Grahtwood. This one has been there on occasions." But once again, she had never stayed there quite long enough before moving along to different pastures. Growing up with a merchant family meant she had visited many places, but there was never much time for tourism or entertaining oneself, especially when she had to help with most of the physical aspect of their small caravan.

For a moment she had been lost in the thought of her parents' tents above her head, but she was brought back to the present by his next question. "Ah." She couldn't help but chuckle, though she quickly stopped to clarify why. "Nimriell doesn't mean to offend, just she's been asked this question many times today. Which is not surprising, of course, this one is indeed a Bosmer. Her parents passed when she was just a kitten- ah, baby, so their travelling companions, a Baandari family, adopted this one and raised her like their own child." She paused, giving the tall man a nod and smile. "And yes, we are indeed traders, travellers. This one has wandered through Valenwood and Elsweyr only, but there are many who head out even further."

“You are not offending. It is just a quite unusual thing, so I couldn’t resist asking. Just like everyone else I guess.” Vraurdoin’s eyes briefly wandered towards the tables bristling with food again. He felt hungry - and whether this was actual hunger or merely hunger induced by greed on sight did not matter for him at this point. “So you won’t stay here for long ? Well, I probably won’t either. I sort of have given up living a stationary life so to speak. Things are much more interesting if you keep moving, aren’t they ?” He smiled a bit, hoping that this rather generic explanation would keep his conversational partner satisfied.

“Are you hungry ? Because I am! I’ve been looking at the buffet for quite a while now and it only became more and more attractive. Maybe our chances of getting through to it quickly are better if we join forces ?”

“This one thinks that’s a good idea,” Nimriell replied with a grin, leaning away from the tree and standing up straight, brushing at the back of her tunic so there weren’t any stray leaves or bits of bark on her. “Staying stationary isn’t what this one is quite used to, but it can be comforting at times to know there is some place to return to if things go awry, or when this one’s parents simply became too elderly for the wanderer’s life. We would return to the Baandari Trading Post.”

She started towards the crowd, though at a slow pace, waiting for the Altmer to come along as well. “This one hopes for something sweet to eat,” she declared, silver eyes attempting to peer at the food through the gaps between the people.

Vraurdoin felt anything but surprised about Nimriell hoping for sweet stuff. After all she was used to Khajiit traditions probably, so they might very well have taught her the Khajiit way of food as well. “I’m sure we’ll find something. The question is if we’ll do so at the same table or not. If not we’ll have to either split up or find our way through the crowd twice!”

No, he wasn’t looking forward to that at all. However it seemed that a very comfortable number of people automatically decided to make way for them as they felt the Altmer approaching, even though gently. Was that because they were afraid of his size or because they mistook him for a higher ranking representative of Altmeri authority here in Valenwood ? He himself knew all too well how easy it was to piss one of those guys off and that doing such almost never had a particularly good outcome.

They ended up at one of the tables full of food and Vraurdoin reached for a pile of jerky. No need for anything complicated! He just picked a few pieces, stacked them in his bare hands and shoved the whole agglomerate into his mouth, starting chewing intensively. From his perspective he had a better overview over the various offerings than Nimriell probably had, so he also was able to detect something that looked like it contained sugar. Still chewing he grabbed the whole plate and held it in front of her nose.

Nimriell paused in her steps, eyes a little crossed as she looked at the plate before stepping back to properly inspect what was before her. "Now that smells delicious, this one's mouth is watering already." She took hold of what she could only guess was a sticky sweetroll and took a bite, smiling as she was rewarded with a sweet yet spicy taste, reminding her of her mother's cooking. Looking up at the much taller elf, she smirked when she realized all he had eaten was the jerky.

"You shouldn't deprive yourself of something tasty," she pointed out, nodding to the still laden plate. "This one believes you should have a taste as well." Even as she spoke, her eyes shifted slightly, noticing that crowd was still giving them a little bit of a berth. “Hm…” She looked up at Vraurdoin, a spark of mischief in her eyes as she attempted to elbow him. “This one thinks the others have mistaken us for scary beings, or perhaps worried about their pockets lightening.”

Vraurdoin felt something impacting the side of his belly region. “Hey!” he exclaimed towards her, losing a few small fragments of chewed jerky as he had not yet finished it. “I’d say just let them mistake us. As long as it’s only scary beings I don’t see much of a reason to worry.” and he grinned. That was indeed true, at least from his point of view. Being mistaken for a man-eating monster probably was less dangerous for him than not being mistaken at all but his true identity being revealed instead…

“I can just tell them that my hands are too big to sneak into their pockets, and you can tell that you’re too small for your hands to reach their pockets!” Having said this, he picked one of the sweet rolls off the plate and put it back onto the table, albeit at a place that was much easier to reach. “Hmm, tastes unusual, but good! Have you seen any chairs?”

Nimriell let out a small chuckle at his exclamation, though she stifled it with a quick apology, knowing it had probably surprised him more than anything else. "Ah, this one sorry. However, don't be too hasty in thinking she may be too small to get what she wants- she is Baandari after all!" The hint of cheekiness remained, though it was well hidden as she shaded her eyes to look for someplace to sit, hopefully away from the crowd. She was used to being around many folks, that was the life of a merchant after all. However, she felt that though the Altmer was friendly enough, he'd probably prefer to relax a bit away from the general hubbub.

"How about over there?" Nimriell pointed to a small clearing a little away from the bouffet, where there only seemed to be a handful of people who were minding their own business, probably seeking a little peace and quiet themselves.

The left corner of Vraurdoin’s mouth jerked upwards slightly as he heard Nimriell’s words. “If you want to get something out of my pockets please tell me. I could lift you a little to make things easier…” The elf started walking over towards the clearing casually, already scanning the area for a nice little patch of grass to sit down. The one he ultimately decided for had a tree nearby, its trunk thick enough for both of them to lean against it easily.

“It’s not even swampy here! I’m… kinda disappointed. Did they drain all the water for the festival beforehand or is this a natural occurrence ?” he said while sitting down, patting the ground right next to him for her to sit down as well. Then Vraurdoin revealed that he had not left the previous place empty-handed, but presented Nimriell with another sweetroll for her and another bunch of jerky for himself.

Nimriell shook her head but she was really finding herself amused by the hidden cheekiness of the Altmer, who it seemed had not received the memo that High Elves were meant to be stuffy folk who looked down their nose at most others. Giving him a grin, she happily accepted the sweetroll as she sat down, stretching out her legs while she took a bit of the sweet treat.

“Nimriell thinks that if you follow the coast, you may be able to find the swamps you’re looking for,” she commented once her mouth was no longer full. “Though this one also has to admit that it’s nice to have dry grounds to sit upon while watching the sea. Where she’s from, there are streams and rivers, but nothing as open as the coast over here.” She looked at him curiously, wondering where Vraurdoin had originally come to Valenwood from.

“Are you from the Summerset isles?” she asked after a moment.

“Yes.” and Vraurdoin nodded, happy that, just once, he could tell the truth flat-out instead of having to develop some kind of workaround quickly. “Like pretty much all Altmer, I think. I wouldn’t be surprised if most of my kind here in Valenwood were not born here, but came here either voluntarily or by assignment.” He started feasting on the jerky.

“I hate swamps. They just make moving more difficult, give you illnesses you haven’t even heard before and stink. I’d much more prefer a desert than a big bog, but still… Valenwood does have its nice places, too. Otherwise I probably wouldn’t be here.” The elf noticed that Nimriell apparently had already finished her second piece of lunch. “Need more ?”

"And this one thought you were actually serious about being disappointed," Nimriell told the Altmer with a chuckle. "You would enjoy Reaper's March or even this one's home of Malabal Tor then. Or perhaps even Elsweyr, where this one's brother lives. It is quite dry and sandy, yet equally beautiful."

She shook her head at his question. "Nimriell thinks she may have eaten a little too much today," she admitted. "This one has a sweet tooth, and it's only due to hard work and walking that she isn't quite round." She finished off the rest of her sweetroll and leaned back on her hands, letting out a satisfied sigh.

"If this one ever crosses the sea, perhaps she will visit your homeland. Nimriell one has heard from others that is is quite beautiful there, the trees, the water, even the animals."

“My homeland ?” Vraurdoin had trouble not to add something to Nimriell’s last words that was about its humanoid inhabitants not being so nice in general, but suppressing that kind of statement was of utmost importance for his own long-term survival. “Maybe I can accompany you there once the time has come…”
Plus, we can't overlook the obvious comedy of the giant elf-man and the hobbit traveling together.

Maybe she can ride on his shoulders? Just saying.


That would be nine crowns per mile, sir!
@Tortoise@Fetzen
How would you two like starting out together?


Fine by me :)
Mr. Nice Guy



Týfurkh still felt his body aching here and there, but the -- albeit relative -- comfort of staying underground for a while had helped to mend a few internal things here and there so all in all he felt ready to go again. Luckily none of his equipment had gone lost, but it had required some effort to restock on bolts for his crossbow. It was a big weapon and not just any bolt did justice to it. A projectile too small and light wasted a lot of energy and reduced its efficiency, others didn't fit into it in the first place and would snag or completely derail on their way out. What Týfurkh had ended up with were a few bolts freshly fabricated, a custom-made creation whose quality would hopefully keep up to the high standards of what he had brought with him into the city.

"I am ready!" Týfurkh called out, the thudding of his steps indicating that he was in full armor. A few new small scratches and dents here and there, but they only added to the others and didn't impair functionality. "If I may suggest something then it's that I could try to lure some of the guards away by making some noise that only they can hear. I could also try to kill a few of those standing on the wall with my weapon, but I'm not convinced that this would be the best idea."

The man looked at his companions, checking whether he had their full attention or not before continuing: "Maybe we should not take the direct route but use some of the other entraces this wall is bound to have ? I don't know this place, but at least in the Nation Of Hearing any big city fortification has inner tunnels and plenty of entries or exits towards the settlement it is protecting. We could take one of those further away from the gate and rush forward through these tunnels. If we're lucky we arrive as a surprise and could disable everybody before anyone can run away and tell the remainder that we're there. The moment they find out about our position we will likely be outnumbered quickly anyway, so better make this quick and hideous I think!"

It all happened a little fast for Maël. What had first seemed to be hardly anything more than an unexpected holdup until they'd have dealt with some petty wannabe thieves developed into an ambush of the supernatural sort. The man suddenly let go of the bag and the frenchman failed to hold its weight in time due to the unexpectancy. The suitcase dropped onto Maël's shoes, hitting his big toe and causing pain. That was nothing against the sight of the individual's teeth though. Obviously in shock and somewhat frightened, Maël stumbled backwards and nearly lost his footing due to one half of it still being wedged in between the floor and the suitcase.

Who were they ? This could not be just some random occurrence, it had to be something with a plan!
How could they have known this ? Was it related to the attacks they had come here for to investigate ?
And what should they do ? Flee and hope for police and other people to hold them back while they'd make a run for it ? Or start a fight on the spot ? Worst of all there was no time for communication: Clive would probably go crazy and then the officials would go crazy as well. This was an airport!

Another surge of pain. This time much, much more pronounced and coming from a much more unexpected place. Maël raised his arm and looked down onto it. Val's impact in the shop had not only littered the ground with many Shades Of Grey, but also with glass shards. One of them now was stuck firmly in his left hand while the other had many cuts on its fingers. Someone knew the thin line between insanity and cunning...

The threshold was about to be crossed. Maël leaned against one of the massive columns and pressed against his hand as hard as he could in an attempt to quench the pain while, because of that and the overall distraction, there were not enough mental resources left to fight against himself. He saw Edgar deploy some weird kind of his own magic and it felt like a Get Out of Jail Free card: If more 'reasonable' people could do supernatural things in the public so could he! It was the point when Maël's vision turned into a mess in red and Eleanor's Merlin-meter might have had to switch to another measurement range. What had been invisible connection points grew into a swarm of tiny portals to another world floating around him, happily eating away at the nearby concrete in order to clear the space for what they were bringing in. It was like the non-sci-fi equivalent of tiny drones working on a starship while it was already in flight and not only happened on the outside, but also inside Maël's body simultaneously. It was the reason why Edgar, if using his mind-reading abilities, would hear nothing but unintelligible noise. Maël's mind and brain was under reconstruction, quite literally.

By the time the magical cocoon started to vanish a pair of large eyes started observed their surroundings. They were a mixture of pitch black and ember, no pupils or iris to be seen. Pretty much the only way to guess what they were looking at was to backtrack the direction the head was pointing. Right now it pointed towards Edgar.

Mind-read this, my favorite quizmaster: I don't need a chain to immobilize someone. I'll just twist the part below your knee until your toes point the right way... again. It would be the first time for you to actually be a decrepit old man instead of just making a mock out of decrepit old men by faking being one, right ?

The pair of almost ridiculously large horns turned a few degrees to watch what strange things Eleanor was doing. She was... typing on her phone, now ?

Oh yeah, just keep taking your smartphone addiction to the next level! Maybe your app even has a real-time money calculator for all the damage that will undoubtedly happen ? Please tell me, I need more motivation! And why is Val crawling away! Doesn't she have some kind of drug to just make any dangers disappear in her own reality ?

Those with a more sensitive nose would notice early that things started to smell a bit like fireworks. Or rather... Maël smelled a bit like fireworks as he had gained that certain, sulphuric aura around him. That was not the only new thing though as the tip of his tail suddenly slammed against a nearby wastebin. It flew over the battlefield into the direction of tethered-to-an-eldritch-hole-man, tumbling and spraying any contents along its trajectory and the lines of gravity. Some of those halfway eaten cookies, one-time coffee cups, sticky plastic bags and other disposables had a good chance of hitting members of the Sunday Group without evasive maneuvers being taken, but the primary goal was to gain their enemies' attention as the metal container hit the intended head partially before crashing into what remained of the shop's window.

Not to forget you two morons: You designated yourself for eradication. The good news is that an annihilation device has just powered up!

Maël moved forward on all four limbs, fingernails turned into small cones of claw leaving probably not so temporal imprints in the linoleum. Despite still being perfectly capable of bipedal locomotion, behaving like a quadruped had a few advantages he had had the opportunity to discover: More grip, combatants struggling with something that did no longer reach the height expected from a fully grown man, more length of his tail available for grabbing things and, last but not least, the fact that his tremendously large horns would not scoop up the hung ceiling as he was moving around, but could be used for impaling things instead.

He reached the small puddle of saliva one of the two monsters had deposited when opening its mouth for the first time and dipped his tongue right into it. There was a lot of dust, rubber from countless shoes of countless passengers and other shit, but also a taste to be remembered. Maybe a detailed enough description later on could provide some hints towards what they're dealing with ? One could never know if there'd be enough of a high quality corpse left for an autopsy, so better to take some samples right away while his infernal stomach could handle them.

Speaking of samples... As Maël opened his newly designed mouth one could see that its inner workings indeed had potential for... taking bloody samples so to speak. That was assuming that he wouldn't use the remainder of his refurbished body to rip even bigger samples off his object of study. Said remainder pretty much yelled 'Toughness!' from top to bottom and approached the chained individual at rapidly increasing speed. Edgar's mysterious chain was good, but it had two significant flaws: That guy could still move around in circles whose radii matched its length and even an indestructible chain could separate from the object it was holding in place by said object lacking enough structural strength itself.

It appeared that Maël was trying to find out about the latter as he was going for a head-on collission.

@Penny How would you like posts to be designed in fights: Should we just describe our characters actions and leave the outcome open or are we allowed to state the outcome of their actions to some more or less degree ?
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