On Deck~~!!
So maybe it was a mistake afterall.
If she had not rushed out that door, maybe she would not be in this predicament, slowly and painfully writhing around in the salty wet... bushes? Wat? This was craziness! Cray, yes, but one thing for sure she knew this was not; a dream. Pain did not hurt so painfully in her dreams.
In memories however, yes, she did remember pain. Her ribs screamed in memory of the time when she was in pyramid formation with her cheer squad. Tamara-Jane was at the top. The others were to spill away and Matty and Di were supposed to catch her in freefall. But Matty and Di got all tangled up and TamTam landed awkwardly on the others. Fail de Epic kinds... ouch. Ribs screamed in memory and a broken forearm sung backup as she remembered the white hot pain when she landed.
But this... Tamara-Jane rolled up to her hands and knees when her strained hitching sobs faded and she finally caught her breath. She was no stranger to having the wind knocked out of her, no matter how much she wished she was a stranger to such an experience. And this time, having the wind knocked out of her was especially uncomfortable with sore, possibly, bruised ribs and a sharp throbbing pain in the small of her back where she had landed upon the lever.
The water on the shrubbery laden deck washed back and forth with the rocking of the boat and TamTam noticed that the water that swished beneath her was coloured pink. Something neath the floor boards rumbled and clanked away but she paid that no mind because her big baby blues took in the sight of her ripped up denim sleeves all the way down to her hands. She was torn up pretty bad. Bleeding too.
A couple of headshakes she gave herself to clear out the stars impeding her vision and she watched more blood fall into the water neath her. A scratched up bloody hand went to her chin and she winced. That was a good cut.
“Awwww... can't try out for Miss Canada with that kinda' ugly on ya, TJ...! Hahahaha...!” The warm sound of Kaylee's teasing voice in her head brought a smile to her face regardless of the pain rollicking through and over her. Then the scent of strawberries hit her and bitter tears threatened to fall once more, and the sting in her nose she fought. Strawberry blonde was her older sisters hair colour.
Ooooohhhh... Kays... miss muh big sis soooooooooo mu--A pitter patter of something coming near her made her gasp in surprise and then once again in pain as her ribs and back reminded her not to do that unless she liked to feel more pain than necessary. But she braced herself and rolled away towards the big ol' rusty cannon despite the screaming white hot jolts in her body and landed on her round butt with a splash.
Big blue eyes widened when she saw what pitter pattered on over.
Suddenly the teen girl knew she was not ever going to see Mom, Kaylee, Di, Matty, Chels or Mo ever again. There was a reason everything was soooooo crazy right now. And no, this was not a dream. No, for really reals...
... because Tamara-Jane Winstanley knew she was dead.
Because there she was. Big baby blues unleashed tears once again because there she was. Even all blurred up and obscured by her own salty wet waters in her eyes, she could see that before here was simply the most beautiful thing she ever seen. Period.
So maybe it wasn't a mistake to rush out that door and onto the deck afterall.
After all this time, TamTam had kept that stuffed bunny. She had altered it, stitched strings to it so it could be slung around her body. It was a very special gift from someone very special. And stitched upon the bunny's white fuzzy chest was a message to be read aloud when that gift was returned... returned upon a very special day. Like today.
Upon that bunny's chest was the message:
'I love you for now and hey, baby, hey, I love you for when--'“...for when I see you again in Heaven...” she whispered fondly and softly with trembling pink bloodied lips.
Because there she was. Tamara-Jane's dead first love. And so now there she was to receive that gift she had given Tamara-Jane on their first and only anniversary. Tamara-Jane's dead first love had given her an adorable white stuffed bunny, and Tamara-Jane had given her first love a fox... that chick had such an obsession with kitsune...
Back to a kneeling position went the dark haired teen, wet black locks plastered across her forehead and choking back heavy sobs. Rough choppy seas continued to rock the creakng boat. White frothy water sprayed her several times. Slowly, yet deliberately, a trembling hand reached out rainbow coloured fingertips to stroke the darling fuzzy face of the fox that she knew was not a fox but her love in disguise carrying that stuffed white bunny. Finally she whispered, spurned on by the wavering strength of a broken heart:
“Hey, baby, hey... I knew... I just soooo knew I'd see ya again, I swear... I missed you LynLyn... I'm... I'm soooo...sosososo sorry, baby... I didn't mean to get you killed. I'm soooo sorry...” 
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