Avatar of Hazelrah

Status

Recent Statuses

7 mos ago
Current I feel deep grief for the people I have hurt in a variety of ways over the years -- I'm so sorry I had to disappear to find a way to stay alive.
4 likes
4 yrs ago
"that time I thought I could not go any closer to grief without dying" ~mary oliver, heavy
4 yrs ago
I need more coffee
1 like

Bio

I drink too much coffee. I love cats. I'm hella bisexual. I play a lot of D&D. I'm a full time student, future high school English teacher. My favorite shows are Teen Titans, She-Ra and the Princesses of Power, Avatar: The Last Airbender, Code Lyoko....there's a definite pattern here. I read a lot. My username is from Watership Down, my favorite book of all time.

I used to RP all the time in middle school/high school, I won a few Fanfiction contests in my day, and am just getting back into roleplaying/writing. Fantasy, science fiction, modern, I'm game for pretty much anything. I love incorporating romance, definitely enjoy a little steam, open to any pairings (MxM, FxF, MxF) and can write any side.

Roleplay Interests:
-Warriors
-Modern Fantasy
-Modern Romance
-Medieval Fantasy
-Dragonriders of Pern
-Tortall
-Avatar: The Last Airbender
-Post-Apocalyptic
-Pretty much anything fantasy/science fiction

Most Recent Posts

Honeypaw: Stop trying to steal my mom, GRRR!

Frogkit, totally oblivious: YAY, NEW FRIEND! HI! :D

Merry late Christmas/Happy Holidays everyone, and hope you have a great New Years too! :D


Honeypaw is PISSED hahahaha!!! If a cat can have anxiety, Honeypaw definitely has it, poor bb. It'll make for good character development but she's definitely freaking out right now haha!
Stonefall: WillowClan Camp

Interacting with: @The Elvenqueen’s Spidernose


Stonefall couldn’t help the low rumble of a purr he let out as Spidernose approached, her sleek frame fluffed out a bit to combat the chill as she settled next to him. He lowered himself down into a relaxed position, pressing his side closer into Spidernose’s to try and provide some extra warmth for her slender build with his bulkier one. (And, well, just to feel her pressed against him). He gave a little amused mrrrp as Spidernose talked about her sister, opting to let Spidernose eat from the mouse first as he wasn’t feeling particularly hungry. ”She was bringing over some herbs for our…guests,” he mewed in response. ”It wasn’t any trouble. She’s bold, she’s stubborn, and she’s passionate. Wonder where she gets it from,” he teased, uncharacteristically light and comfortable when it was just him and Spidernose. Relaxing into the moment, he turned and gave Spidernose’s neck a few gentle licks, smoothing out her fur and purring as he did so. ”Did you have a good hunting patrol? Anything interesting happen?” he asked, feeling a little nervous about how open he had been with his affection. He didn’t have a sibling like Spidernose or felt as comfortable with many of his Clanmates as Maplestream or Duskwing seemed to. Often he felt lonely even when surrounded by his Clanmates. But this, right here, with Spidernose? He felt like he was home.

Honeypaw: WillowClan Camp

Interacting with: @savannahssu’s Fernstar & @The Elvenqueen’s Frogkit


It was hard to stay cranky when every part of Honeypaw’s heart eased at Fernstar’s closeness. She felt her fur start to settle at Fernstar’s words, her body language easing up from its anxious, tense manner. The small apprentice leaned a little into Fernstar’s words and comfort, giving a little mrrp of pleasure when the leader gave her a teasing lick on her ear. ”I can’t wait to be a Warrior and help protect our camp,” Honeypaw mewed. ”I’ll take good care of Frogkit,” she added, tail lashing a little agitatedly. ”After all, this was my nest so I know it well, and she’s only staying a few nights……right?” her tone had started accusatory, laced with jealousy, but by the time she got to asking for confirmation she had slipped into a place of vulnerability she didn’t know how to cope with.

The little black and orange she-cat scooted a little closer to Fernstar but right then the enemy in question popped her head out of Fernstar’s den. Honeypaw held back a protective hiss, proud of herself for such semblance of self-control in front of her newfound enemy. ”Oh hi, Frogkit,” she meowed, trying to act like she wasn’t as affected as she was. ”Wait, how do you know the new cats seem cool? Did you get to talk to them?!” Honeypaw felt her breath coming quicker in agitation. She’d had to hide all by herself and Frogkit got to talk to them!? A yawning cavern of hurt was building inside the little she-cat, jealousy and insecurity and vulnerability – she just desperately hoped no one else noticed it. Don’t worry, they won’t notice. They’re already forgetting about you now that Frogkit’s here, her young mind supplied. Fernstar’s replaced you, and this is Spidernose’s sister so you know she’s always going to take priority over you…
@Hazelrah OH JEEZ HONEYPAW PISSED XD


Listen....Honeypaw is a tiny cat with BIG FEELINGS OKAY
Stonefall: WillowClan Camp

Interacting with: @savannahssu


A couple of sunrises?! They should leave as soon as the sun is high again. Stonefall couldn’t help but think to himself in dismay. He would never go against Fernstar’s judgment call, but he couldn’t help but be scared at the thought of having the loners here for more than one sunrise. Logically, he had no reason to be – all signs pointed to them simply being loners who had suffered hardship and needed a bit of help. But his naturally protective nature led him to feeling antsy in such a situation where his Clan was in potential danger from an unknown threat.

Then again…weren’t you a loner in need of a home, too? And Fernstar took you in…why can’t you show the same kindness to these loners? What are you truly afraid of? That thought was unsettling, too unsettling for Stonefall to let himself sink into as he dipped his head in farewell to the loners and followed Fernstar and Frogkit towards the leader’s nest. He forced his body language to relax as he trotted over, big body moving gracefully and silently across the camp. He listened to Fernstar attentively, feeling a little dismissed for his concerns but knowing that wasn’t her intent – she was just trying to get him to relax.

”Of course, Fernstar,” he meowed softly, dipping his head in acknowledgment. He couldn’t help the butterflies that swarmed his stomach at her mention of Spidernose, not thinking that his growing affections for the other she-cat had been so obvious, and yet apparently even his leader had noticed. ”I’ll keep watch until the hunting patrol returns,” he answered slightly evasively, light eyes darting towards the entrance briefly. He gave one last nod to Fernstar before turning and trotting over to the camp entrance, sitting with his long tail curled around his paws to wait for the hunting patrol to return, trying to remember that he wasn’t just waiting for Spidernose, wondering if she was okay, wondering what she was doing…

Honeypaw: WillowClan Camp

Interacting with: @savannahssu @The Elvenqueen


Honeypaw knew that she should be staying put in the Warrior’s Den. After all, Spidernose had told her to follow orders and Stonefall wanted her to stay there while the situation with the loners. But Moosepaw had left and it was So. Incredibly. Boring. There was no one here to talk to and it was way too early to try and sleep. She’d already rearranged the nests and tried to see if she could stack them up as high as she could, and then put them back where they belonged, and she was bored. So she peeked her head out of the den just to see if the loners had left, or gone back to the Nursery, her eyes bright with curiosity.

And what she saw infuriated her. She felt jealousy spike through her body in a rush, a feeling she’d never experienced before, as she watched Fernstar – her Fernstar, the she-cat who had practically raised her – lick Frogkit’s ear and usher the little kit towards her nest. She watched her nudge the little she-cat up into the owl’s nest, watched her take the spot that had been Honeypaw’s home until just a sunrise ago. Honeypaw’s hackles instinctively rose and before she knew what she was doing, the little she-cat was stalking across the camp to the leader’s nest, ears flat against her head as she approached Fernstar and Frogkit.

How could she already replace me? I thought…I thought I was special. It’s not even been a moon….

Ostentatiously, she turned her back on the entrance to the owl’s nest and sat tall, not looking Fernstar in the eye, hackles still slightly raised.

”If you want, I can watch over Frogkit while you’re busy,” Honeypaw mewed, voice only trembling slightly, tail lashing a little behind her. A hint of insecurity crept into her voice and she chanced a small glance at her leader, not maintaining eye contact before turning her gaze back towards the camp, trying to assume a “guarding” position, her small stature at odds with her outsized frustration and jealousy. And that will give me a chance to set Frogkit straight on who really belongs to Fernstar, she thought mulishly.
*rises from the dead*

HELLOOOOOOOOOOOOO CLEVELAND! Okay, not Cleveland, HELLO MY INTERNET FRIENDS. I am SO SORRY again for vanishing. Grad school, death in the family, general mental health, it all destroyed me over the last few months. BUT I am hoping to write once a week now that I've wrapped up my degree and am feeling a bit more stable -- my goal is to write either Wednesdays or Thursdays! (Today was the exception because I'd gotten my post written yesterday but didn't get it up until today).

Thank you all for your patience, you've no idea how much it means to me and how grateful I am to this little community, I posted Stonefall so hopefully we can get this plot moving!!!!
Stonefall: WillowClan Camp

Interacting with: @savannahssu


Stonefall listened to Fernstar intently, a mix of shame at his self-doubt and pride in his leader welling up in his heart. Her comforting tail-touch on his flank went farther than he would have anticipated – the fact that his Clan’s brilliant, calm, fiery leader believed in him. Fernstar believed in him.

And she needed him to believe in himself too.

Before he could answer, though, before he could apologize for letting her down Fernstar stood to meet the rogues and Stonefall’s mind snapped into protective mode. He stood and followed her, opting to stay standing on all fours while the other cats sat. He stood next to Fernstar, tail puffed oh so slightly, reminding these rogues that while they were in this camp and talking to Fernstar, they wouldn’t so much as try to lay a claw on her without facing retribution from him. Every sense of self-doubt and concern melted away leaving Stonefall at his strongest, light blue eyes glinting like ice as he stared down first one, then the second and then the third cat, one by one.

They explained their stories, each individually, and Stonefall didn’t move one inch. He listened, stock-still, emanating strength and power without even realizing that’s what he was doing. The wounds seemed real enough, and Stonefall knew they had some herbs to spare and at the very least these rogues weren’t trying to join their Clan.

Before either he or Fernstar could speak, Frogkit bounced up, and Stonefall wanted to curse Blackpelt for letting the young kit approach these unknown cats. Of course the medicine cat must have had his reasons, but Stonefall’s instincts were to keep the young safe above all else – not to have them confront the potentially dangerous loners right up in their faces.

“Frogkit,” he meowed softly, his normally calm and steady tone edging into frustration. “Thank you. Now return to the Medicine Cat Den,” he finished, with no room for argument in his voice.

He turned his head just slightly to glance at Fernstar, trying to gauge what she was thinking, not wanting to give away how uncomfortable all of this made him to the loners themselves. But he wanted them gone. Leaf-bare was already stripping them of precious resources and while it seemed that Blackpelt deemed them to have enough herbs to share, Stonefall knew they wouldn’t be able to sustain it. They’d just gotten Fernstar her nine lives and were just starting to feel stronger as a Clan – they didn’t need more drama than they could handle. Let these cats go make their own camp.

“I am sorry you’ve been through such hardship,” he meowed, choosing his words carefully, body language still just on this edge of hostile. “Take these herbs with you to your new camp as a gesture of our goodwill.”
Welp, I suck -- school is HARD Y'ALL -- TOMORROW. I swear to Lucifer I will get a post out TOMORROW.
I am SO SORRY for the long delay from me -- internship full time turned into a full time job but I'm also still in school full time so I'm....honestly SUPER SWAMPED. Cancelled all my plans for this upcoming weekend to try and give myself a chance to catch up on school and writing!!!!! I AM SO SORRY IF I COULD SEND YOU ALL COFFEE (or equivalent treat) FOR YOUR PATIENCE WITH ME I WOULD!!!!
Stonefall: WillowClan Camp

Interacting with: @savannahssu


Stonefall realized he’d been almost...zoned out for a moment as cats mulled and moved around him, falling into the roles they were assigned. Meanwhile he’d just...sat. Vanished into the warm feeling of Spidernose next to him, got absorbed by the doubts and worries about the rogues that had crept into the camp, all of his insecurities about not knowing how to protect this Clan as their Deputy...and then Fernstar was padding up to him and he realized Spidernose was gone, off to hunt like the strong Warrior that she was. The grey tom shook his head a little bit, pulling himself from his solemn reverie, straightening his body and wrapping his tail tightly around his paws. ”Sorry, Fernstar,” he started, ears flicking back with a little bit of anxiety. ”I didn’t mean to space out. I’ve got...a lot on my mind.” He took a breath, eyes glancing down at the snow for a moment before he focused his gaze back on Fernstar. ”The rogues found their way into our camp, claiming that they were escaping from a raccoon, but something feels...off. I had them put in the Nursery so that Duskwing could watch them, made sure that Honeypaw and Moosepaw were away and safe from them. Then Sunfur was organizing a patrol to go hunting, and then you got back. But as far as the rogues go, they said they were escaping a raccoon but none of the patrols, myself included, scented any hint of racoon on our territory. Neither did Maplestream. But she did scent the rogues themselves at the edge of our territory, so there’s a chance the racoons were just beyond the border, but…” he twitched a little anxiously, voice lowering in concern. ”But Maplestream is a good warrior. I feel like she would have scented the racoons as well. Something feels off but I don’t know what. What he didn’t voice were his doubts about how he had handled it, worries that his tendencies to overthink were going to be his downfall--the Clan’s downfall? No, never, may StarClan take me first--and that he didn’t deserve this post at all.
Thanks so much for your understanding, @savannahssu -- I just feel bad because usually RP is so easy for me to do on the fly, but this last month with my family and everything has just sorta completely sapped me dry...so I started my post tonight but couldn't get it done, which is embarrassing because it's short...hoping to have more stamina tomorrow/Saturday to get it posted! Also as my life settles into a routine I should be back to a more regular posting schedule...again so sorry, thanks to you all for your patience <3
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